#okay i v obvi needed to rant

[dromexa]

so i started a fight with one of the racist people i work with today

long story short, there are some romani travellers in the area who were using the building car park for whatever reason about a week ago. they were asked to leave and then today they have apparently broken into the car park (i’m not sure how exactly one breaks into an open air car park but, yknow, thats another debate) and the site manager sent an email to everyone who is based from that building (despite there being less than 100 of the normal 400 people who are actually still working there and not from home, no idea why they sent it to everyone tbh) telling us that they had broken in, the police had been called, etc etc.

so, because a majority of my (very small) department are working from home, we all communicate via a team chat since we can’t actually yknow, see each other anymore. at this point its late in the day, about 5.30 and theres only 5 of us online at this point which includes 2 managers and this one woman (we’ll call her [tiff] since she’s always in one)

for context on this vile woman, when i first started working there, just over 3 years ago, i was deep in the throes of depression. i actually didn’t even get diagnosed until about a month or two after i’d started there even though i’d been seeing a doctor about it for about 6 months (which is a whole other thing). and this woman bullied me incessantly. she constantly made remarks about me, and even on occasion my family, to me and others, made complaints about me for completely unnecessary reasons, a whole plethora of stuff that i honestly cannot be bothered to get into. she made me cry many times, both at work and when i had gone home. when i finally got on medication and started having monthly meetings with my manager i told her about [tiff] bullying me, and she got straight on that shit and it has tapered off since then. of course she still makes the occasional remark or insult, but i don’t take notice of her anymore as i’ve gained bounds more confidence in myself and my ability to do my job. every remark that she makes against me is unwarranted, always an over the top reaction to something i have said. i have never instigated an argument with her. her dislike of me is extremely clear to me and everyone else on the team. it is not a point of contention; in fact it is a hotly discussed topic amongst us whenever she decides to throw any barbs my way. and this is just the shit she does to me. i am not the only person in the team she acts like this towards. it is not an uncommon occurrance. to put it simply, this woman is a bully.

and so, after receiving the email about how the romani travellers from last week have broken into the car park at work, [tiff] puts in the chat “I see the t*nkers are back at it again.”

now, i have been ill for about three days (hopefully its not the Rona but i doubt it since i never go outside anyway) but since i’m working from home i’ve been suffering through it cause my job isn’t actually too hard at the moment. i am exhausted, cranky, upset that i haven’t been able to really eat anything for the last three days and completely  done with the day emotionally, mentally, and physically, and particularly with this woman.

so, i replied.

“no need to be racist [tiff].”

as soon as i sent the message, i felt the storm brewing. i know that racist people do not like to be called racist, because of ignorance of ‘propriety; or whatever the fuck it is, they don’t like it even though its true. i know that [tiff] has an explosive temper, so i’m just waiting for the shit storm she is no doubt furiously typing as fast as she can. and then i get the message

“shut your mouth, its short for itinerant which is an IRISH word”

now, at the time, i admit, i had no idea what that word meant. i had to swiftly google it. it means traveling from place to place, which i guess is an apt description of the romani people as this is something that they do indeed do. however, that isn’t the word she said. in fact, ANY WORD that isn’t ‘roma/romani’ or ‘traveller’ is considered offensive to them (and honestly i’m not so sure on if traveller is considered as offensive to them). so what she said was still racist, and all i can really gather from her response is that she’s trying to use her own culture of being an irish descendent to defend her racism? which makes... no fucking sense? you can’t justify discrimination against a certain group or culture by saying ‘oh its okay, i’m allowed to discriminate against another group/culture because I’M from a discrimanted group/culture’. in regards to the word itself, i’d say its similar to calling someone of japanese descent a j*p. yes, it technically is short for a real word. however, the shortened version of it IS A FUCKING SLUR. It doesn’t matter if the slur itself came from a ‘proper’ word, its STILL A FUCKING SLUR. IT IS OFFENSIVE. IT IS NOT OKAY. and for the icing on the racist cake, she told me to shut my mouth on a GROUP WORK CHAT. talk about the absolute peak of professional work courtesy. such a wonderful human being, really.

so, me being the chill person that i am, did not type all of this into the group work chat because i am not going to argue all of this with a racist on a group work chat. i was tired, i felt like shit, and its a waste of my time anyway. this woman never thinks anything she has done is wrong. her excuse to my manager for bullying me was that i must ‘not get her sense of humour’. there is no reasoning with her, there is no reason in arguing with her.

therefore, my only response was “...it’s still derogatory though.”

which i thought was quite to the point. like i said, i’m confident enough in myself to stand up to her now. i’m not going to let herattempts to defend her pathetic actions deter me from telling her that she is being fucking racist.

unfortunately i never got a reply as one of the managers stepped in (figuratively) and said ‘this is not the place to have this chat ladies’ (don’t think badly of her, she really is a good manager and was the biggest help to me when i was in the deepest of my depression, and has actually been supporting me since i had a small relapse in december). i assume it was because of our long storied history of butting heads, especially in the chat, that she put a stop to it before it could escalate.

now, i know i started this whole rant saying ‘i started a fight’ and there were only three sentences said total. but, like i said, this woman is a bully. i don’t expect this to be over. i know in her twisted little head she’s going to do everything she can to make my life at work difficult. and since her daughter works with us in the same team too (who is honestly just as bad), i imagine she’ll be doing the same thing too in ‘solidarity’. thankfully, i am, and have always been, very careful when speaking with her to be professional (in my own way, after all) so that she has absolutely NOTHING to throw back at me. so that, in moments like these, all she does is impale herself on her own shitty personality. my current estimate for how long this particular grudge for calling her out on her shit in front of the entire team (who might not have been there, but will definitely see it when they log in tomorrow morning) is at about a year.

and i’m certainly looking forward to it.

#personal #rant #WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE #ugh #long story short i said #yeah fucking right when the fuck have i ever made anything short #okay i v obvi needed to rant #fuck this

[astralshipper]

GUYZZZZZ WHAT UP LONNIE IS SO CUTE LOOK AT HIM!

srsly okay... the crooked smile makes me cry hes so precious.... yeah hes a murder boy but look at him!!! sometimes u just gotta scroll through ur pics of ur f/os n smile bc yeah... yeah i love them....

SO lonnie stuff! hc that he rlly likes laying his head in my lap, like constantly. thats what he always does when he comes home and needs comfort, he just collapses next to me and lays his head in my lap and starts ranting and i run my fingers through his hair and listen to him until he calms down alhfiueh 

hc that he’s v physically affectionate and he feels safest when we have some form of contact bc in his line of business, anything bad can happen in seconds and he wants to be able to get me to safety as quickly as possible. so he starts to just subconsciously have a hand on me somehow whenever we’re together

hc that he is rlly rlly supportive of my s/i’s music career!! he shows up to shows and stands at the side stage and is there to give hugs and kisses as soon as the show is over and he’s just v v happy abt all the success my s/i has!!

hc that since my s/i used to live in the glades, lonnie was VERY concerned and constantly tailed her as she was walking home from gigs to make sure nothing ever happened to her. she never knew it, but he kicked the asses of quite a few people for trying to go after her over time. 

hc that after the fire, lonnie doesnt show back up for a few days and we out here freaking the FUCK out bc oh my god where tf is my boyfriend??? but obvi going to the police isnt possible bc hes uhhhh a wanted criminal so im just freaking tf out until finally he just shows up in the apartment in a hood and is all prepared to give this big speech about how he knows he looks different now but he really is the same person, maybe even better now, but i just run up and kiss him and go off abt how worried i was and how much i love him and hes like oh shit okay no need to explain myself and i just get to work checking over his wounds and scolding him for not coming to see me sooner so i could fix him up and make sure he was okay

#Delicacy and Anarchism #long post #long post tw #im sorry im so soft for lonnie rn #2 am is prime lonnie lovin hours #gonna giv him kimss #astras dumb shit #just some garbage headcanons for a murder boyfriend that i fuckin ADORE #GOD GUYS I JUST LOVE HIM SO DAMN MUCH-