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vibrant-goddess · 5 years

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yeah im drinking a bit at 130am i have to be at work in five hours but im SAD and i hate my coworkers and im gonna stay up and feel like shit all week so you know fuck it im gonna bitch about it on main bc im tired of giving a fuck about what people think of me and im not putting it under the cut because i seriously dont fucking care

i shoulda bought more cigarillosi havent fucking smoked in seven years like my parents found my cigars when i was a baby adult and yelled at me so i tossed them and never looked back

except now i live on my own in a tiny shitty room that is cheap enough for me to pay off my student loans real fucking fast living with two extremely adorable dogs(they’re my roommates) who dont like being petted so what even are they good for except dragging in dead animals all the fucking time and leaving hair everywhere literally i had to stop baking for my coworkers because no matter how clean i was i ALWAYS FOUND MORE FUCKING FUR but its fine because i don’t like these coworkers anyways

like i know i work in tech but what are the fucking chances that my team would be four white blonde guys(at least two are blue eyed) in their early thirties and then me like what the FUCK and i still have two more months with these fuckers. i have to figure out how to survive eight more weeks with these people who don’t like or respect me. i feel like a goddamn token minority hire and it makes me want to quit. like, just straight up two weeks notice i don’t give a FUCK about completing the rest of my work i don’t give a FUCK about helping this team i don’t give a FUCK about this work assignment my coworkers are so fucking dismissive and passive aggressive AT BEST and whiny turds at worst. i hate coming in at 630 and leaving at 345 without taking a lunch so my work has gotten like 10 extra hours of work for me thats literally, after tax, another student loan payment.

im so fucking miserable here. this town is so fucking small. theres nothing to do here except spend twenty dollars to go to tea except i have to do it myself bcause i dont know how to fucking interact wioth people

and then i thought this month oh ill try to get people i like together for halloween movies at my house except my house is a disaster because my roommate doesnt know how to fucking clean her shit up

literally her dogs shit on the couch and she took hours to do a half assed job of cleaning up. i cleaned the table, the kitchen, the floors, everything, and within two weeks she covered the newly cleaned surfaces with her shit. and like, its like pulling teeth to even get her to move her shit from the dryer after a MONTH so i know any sort of cleaning isn;t going to get done by her

like i thought leaving my parents house would make things so much better i thought the distance would allow me to finally live like an adult, but im essentially living the same fucking life, overextended by my responsibilities, depressed to the point of ideation, too anxious to talk to anyone, except now i have quadruple the bills, still no fucking s/o because apparently im totally unfuckable like even this fucking loser from target ghosted me, and my parents passive aggressively text me everyday because i don’t update them all the time on my THRILLING life that consists of a nine hour work day, three hours of studying for a professional exam that my work won’t pay for, and two hours of costume shit based on a character in a game series i don’t even fucking like for a party im not even going to attend

and like the obvious answer is drop the costume shit, block your parents for a couple weeks, and go to therapy. i hurried i RUSHED to get my own health insurance so i could finally finally get therapy, only to find out that if my work finds out im getting therapy theyll block any chance at promotion and in this small shitty town there are ten total therapists in a sixty mile radius, only two of which specialize in the CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) except one is a dude and the other does christian counseling and i fucking refuse to interact with religion i dropped any pretense of religion four years ago and im not fucking going back and if you even FUCKING mention it to me i stg so i guess i have to take my chances with the dude

god i dont want to go to work tomorrow but ive p consistently taken a day off every two weeks and im trying to save up my leave for when i want to just fucking ditch out for a week next year after i pay off my student loans

like EVERYTHING WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER ONCE I MOVED. i told myself oh everything will be better once i transfer except it wasnt i got even more stressed and felt more pressure. i told myself oh everything will be bettwe once i graduate except not only was it not but i hit the worst period of my life after graduating i couldn’t socialize i couldn’t speak i just laid on the floor of my childhood room crying and cutting myself because i couldn’t functgion because life didnt have purpose anymore. i told myself oh everything will be better once i move out once im away from the environment tht made me sick BUT GUESS WHAT TUMBLR the FUCKING ENVIRONMENT THAT MADE ME SICK WAS ME. GUESS WHAT I’M THE TOXIC PRESENCE IN MY LIFE. GUESS WHAT YOU CAN’T RUN AWA FROM YOUR OWN BRAIN.

im so fucking tired of trying im so tired of waiting for things to get better i keep trying things i did cbt on my own for months and it did nothing i drank a lot for a month and it did nothing but make me pee a lot i smoked again and it didn’t help i start cutting again and it did nothing like the only vice i have is eating except to pay off my student loans asap my food budget got stripped so i cant even do that and im just. im so fucking tired of this. im tired of throwing money at my student loan app. im tired of having no room besides my bed so i have to cut fabric while laying under my bed because there no room for me and my cutting mat. im tired of spending every weekend studying my fe study materials for an exam to get a certification my work doesn’t care about whatsoever. im tired of not feeling excited about anything. this is usually my favorite month of the year and i havent done a single fall activity. i dont know why the only person in this stupid city who likes me is the dude who realized im the only single black girl in the city and therefore has decided to make it his mission to try to wear me down so he can fuck me. im tired of working in a team where i have to be the voice of all women all black people and all queer people. im tired of having to either report my comings and goings to my parents from two hundred miles away when they don’t pay for any of my shit(in fact, i pay for some of their shit and they still demand updates like they’re entitled to my fucking life) hold on im getting another drink

and like if i want to even be considered one of the team i have to perform to perfection better than the other fuckers on the team whic means i have to show up before the earliest arriver and leave after my boss leaves and i still gotta do all my personal shit and i cant take a lunch and im UFKCKING SICK OF IT. the other team in our open office is a million times more diverse, they actually communicate and discuss shit. their boss is a woman and they occasionally have women on their team on assignment. they spent an hour debating and charting pizza topping preferences so they could order pizza together. meanwhile, my team cant even be assed to actually ask me a question.

i dont fucking want to go to work tomorrow. i dont want to fucking go back to this team ever again. my boss offered me a permanent position and i didnt know how to tell him that i hate this team and i cant wait to leave and mute the team server forever and if my next assignment didnt require an additional security thing(DESPITE THE FACT THAT I’VE NEVER STEPPED OUT OF LINE MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE I HAD GOOD HS ATTENDANCE I PARTICIPATED IN CLUBS I GOT A FUCKING NATIONAL AWARD I VOLUNTEERED WITH A CHRISTIAN CHURCH I PARTICIPATED IN CLUBS AND STUDENT ORGS IN COLLEGE I DIDNT DRINK A SIP OF ALCOHOL UNTIL I WAS 21 I DIDN’T SMOKE UNTIL I WAS 18 I NEVER TRIED ANY DRUGS NOT EVEN WEED IN FACT THE MOMENT DRUGS WERE PRESENT IN MY SOCIAL CIRCLES I LEFT THOSE SOCIAL CIRCLES AND NEVER LOOKED BACK I NEVER COMMITTED ANY CRIMES I NEVER ASSOCIATED WITH ANYONE WHO DID CRIMES IVE NEVER LEFT THE COUNTRY AS AN ADULT I LITERALLY HAVE THE BACKGROUND OF SOMEONE WHO SPENT 25 YEARS SITTING IN A ROOM EATING SALTINES AND STARING AT A WALL UNTIL I STARTED WORKING) that is taking fucking forever despite my perfect background i would have left this assignment early AND i would have given them excellent documentation when i went.

im so fucking tired. im tired of everything.

#i finished writing this shit at 230 at this point any sleep is gonna be shit but the alcohol is making me sleepy so whatever #there was no chance i was going to get a decent nights sleep anyways #i fucking hate everything

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whenismuna · 7 years

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all?

1. Name: stephanie, steph, stoof, mistake

2. Birthplace: iowa bye

3. Ancestry: german and swedish aka whitest of the whites

4. Zodiac Sign: aries :)

5. Biggest fear: lmao being alone and losing trust in the people i care about most haha

6. Strength/Weakness: nothing/everything

7. Worst habit: breathing

8. Favorite holiday: halloween

9. Ever been in a car crash: almost

10. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher: lol who hasnt

11. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house: fill up my water and take off my pants

12. Age at first kiss: 17

13. When did you fall in love for the first time: 17

14. Who Is Your Longest Friend & How Long: michelle, the loml, 10 1/2 years :’)

15. Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: dont die maybe

16. What were you doing at midnight last night: listening to after laughter

17. When was the last time you laughed hard: this morning talking to michelle

18. Who was the last person that told you they love you: michelle :’)

19. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up yesterday morning: how am i supposed to know bye

20. Where did you go for your first date and who was it with: very first date was a double-date with my then-friend and our then-boyfriends and we saw that movie with justin timberlake about time?

21. Who’s wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen: my moms :)

22. Who did you see in concert first: weird al in like 4th grade

23. Who was your favorite teacher: SARAH JACKSON MY MOTHER I LOVE HER THE REAL LOML

24. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day: michelle

25. Who do you think about most: michelle or carly rae jepsen

26. Is your ideal occupation? doing anything with animal husbandry/rehabilitation

27. Beer, wine, or liquor? liquor 100%

28. Favourite restaurant? old sammy t’s or maybe legume

29. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? ben and jerrys americone dream

30. McDonlads or Burger King? neither?

31. Fantasy dinner guest(s)? crj, griffin mcelroy, rachel carson

32. Have you ever been drunk? When was the last time? yee like january wtf

33. What is the most embarrassing thing you have done drunk? lmao i sent michelle a bunch of snaps once crying about how much i love dogs

34. Wonder Woman or Cat Woman? wonder woman

35. How many pets do you have? none but i wanna get a kenyan sand boa so bad :(

36. What would be the first thing you bought if you won the lottery? an education

37. When was the first time you smoked? like july?

38. Who last sent you a text? delaney

39. Who did you last send a text to? delaney

40. What 4 things would you take to a desert island? rope, a knife, a lighter, and plastic wrap

41. Name the 3 most important people in your life? michelle delaney and nay

42. Favorite song? rn probably fake happy tbh

43. Favorite movie? always hsm bye

44. When did you last cuddle someone? last night :)

45. When did you last have sex? tuesday

46. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first? so much oh my god

47. What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still feel the same about it at this minute? i mean this time five years ago i was getting ready to go to camp for the first time so i was probably worried about people liking me and like some of my best friends are from camp so obviously thats not a fear anymore

48. If you could change one law of your country, what would it be? just one?

49. What relationships have ended? But you can’t let go? literally none

50. Where would you take a road trip? everywhere

51. How do Mondays feel for you? time isnt real. i havent known what day it is for the past month

52. If you could spend ten minutes with your ‘hero’ alive or dead what would you ask them? “hi rachel yeah a) are u gay, b) will you marry me?”

53. Do your practice ‘self love’ or ‘self loathing’? love in theory but loathing in practice

54. What’s your greatest achievement to date? beating a game of solitaire in 25 seconds

55. What scares you about your future? literally everything

56. Why does pizza come in a square box? idk?

57. What would happen if you knew you could not fail? id already have my dream job tbh

58. How does it feel to be photographed? if its on my terms, very nice, otherwise no

59. If you could erase an event from your mind, which one would you choose? all of middle school

60. Do you want your children (if you have any) to be ‘just like you’? trick question, i dont want kids

61. Do you stand for what you believe in or are you pleasing others? im the most non-confrontational person i know but if it really gets to morals i will absolutely stand for what i believe in

62. If money were no concern, what would you do for the rest of your life? travel

63. What are you thankful for, this moment? my friends

64. Do you have same sex fantasies? im gay?

65. If you have had sex in a public place, where? nope

66. Have you ever cried during/after sex? nope

67. Who is the oldest person you’ve had sex with? 25

68. Who is the youngest person you’ve had sex with? 19

69. Would you rather be in a relationship with a totally submissive partner or a totally dominant partner? dom bye

70. How tall are you? 5′10 bye

71. How much do you weigh? lmao i dont even know. i havent weighed myself in so long like i dont care lowkey

72. What color is your hair naturally? brown

73. What size jeans do you wear? umm???? 10??? 12????? idk

74. What is your favorite color to wear? black

75. Do you have any piercings? no :(

76. Do you have any tattoos? no :(

77. Do you care how other people see you? sometimes

78. Do you like sports? eh

79. How do you feel about age differences in relationships? it depends. as long as its not a huge age gap its fine idk

80. How do you feel about race differences in relationships? why would that matter?

81. Do you believe in karma or fate? both? more karma though

82. Do you keep a journal? i used to

83. Describe the last dream you remember: i was at delaneys house and her and her mom were showing me around the house and i was sobbing

84. Describe your favorite dream: see above

85. Where are some places you would like to visit? everywhere

86. Any upcoming concerts you want to attend? harry styles, handsome ghost, misterwives

87. What music do you listen to when you are happy? it depends? mostly carly rae jepsen tho lbr

88. What music do you listen to when you are mad? mostly folie a deux or vices or something

89. Do you like to burn candles or incense? candles

90. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? oh yikes becherovka

91. What are your favorite alcoholic beverages? anything fruity

92. Do you smoke cigarettes or cigars? What about marijuana? nope

93. Who is your number 1 friend and why is he or she there? MICHELLE!!!!! we are soulmates and tbh i swear we were friends in a past life and when we met we knew because we were instantly best friends and i trust her with my life and tbh i could write a 10 page paper on why i love her and why shes my best friend bc wow a+ what a gal i love her so much and she will always be my #1. i am michelle trash #1

94. Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member? nope

95. Is there anyone of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with? yeah probably

96. Would you ever have sex in the shower or the bath? nope

97. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex? im gay

98. Do you think your last ex still wants to be with you? lmao tbh who cares im so over that and like lowkey if she sees this i dont really care bc like so much happened and also i have agf now so it doesnt even matter?

99. Ever wondered what it would be like dating the same gender as you? IM GAY

100. What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual people? I AM GAY

101. How often do you brush your teeth? depends on if im in a depressive episode or not, but usually at least twice a day

102. How often do you shower? When was the last time you had a shower? depends on if im in a depressive episode or not but usually every day, and i showered yesterday

103. How often do you shave your legs? lmao like once a week maybe, that also depends on seasons and stuff

104. Political affiliation? liberal 100% like?

105. Opinion on abortion? jesus christ i dont care like im not boutta stop yall

106. Opinion on immigrants/ immigration reform? we need reform bc people need help and we cant just let them die yknow?

107. Should prostitution be legalized? oh god this is lowkey a super loaded question like theres a lot that would go into this holy shit

108. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? literally what does even mean

109. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? good question

110. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? just one?

111. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? being at camp

112. Would you break the law to save a loved one? it depends? but probably?

113. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? probably france? idk i just always liked it?

114. Why are you the person you are? jesus i wish i knew

115. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? id like to think so?

116. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? misunderstandings

117. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? so many things

118. Were you happy when you woke up today? i mean i got to facetime michelle so

119. What’s a fact about the last person who text messaged you? shes such a good friend and i miss her and i cant wait to hopefully see her in august bc wow its been almost 2 years since we saw each other and i cry every day

120. Want someone back in your life? my grandpa tbh

121. What are you excited for? a lot actually for once

122. Are you scared to fall in love? absolutely terrified

123. When is your next road trip? um i guess june because im going to pennsylvania?

124. What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? listened to harrys album

125. Do you like to cuddle? yeS

126. Have you ever kissed more than one person in 24 hours? nope

127. Plans for tomorrow? i have no clue

128. Do you care too much/not at all/just enough? probably too much

129. How is life going for you right now? um id say pretty good. definitely better than it was at this point last year

130. If you were offered a shot of whiskey right this second, would you accept? maybe? idk

131. This time last year, can you remember who you liked? haha yeah lol

132. Could you stay in the same relationship for over a year? i have before so... yes.

133. If you could have one super power what would it be? idk man

134. Background on your cell phone? my dog :’(

135. What are you thinking about right this second? after laughter and how sad/relatable it is ://////

136. Last book you read? How was it? um i still havent finished it but oil and honey and its so good i love bill mckibben so much

137. What is the last thing you bought? halsey tickets :’)

138. Do you live with your parents? yea

139. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? theres really no “sneaking out” of my house anymore bc my dad trusts me to not fuck up?

140. Have you ever met a celebrity? tyler joseph oh my god aleX CAPLOW WOW

141. What are you like when you’re drunk? im super laughy. im a typical drunk girl like idc

142. What are you like when you’re high? chill idk

143. Do you want children? not really

144. Do you want a church wedding? idk probably not tbh

145. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 but i have 4 that i lay on my bed?

146. Have you ever been scuba diving? yeah i wanna go again and get certified tbh

147. Who was your first real crush? yikEs

148. What are you allergic to? nothing i am perfect, evolution did me well

149. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? nope

150. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? neither

151. How did you get your name? my mom chose it 20 minutes before i was born

152. Name one thing about your body you love? my eyes/eyebrows :)

153. What is your biggest goal in life? be happy and have a job that i love

154. Do you still have feelings for your ex? nope

155. Do you think aliens are real? absolutely

156. What age did you start drinking? 15? 16? 17? i dont know

157. What do you think of President Obama? overall good

158. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? i sure hope so?

159. Describe your dream girl/guy? my gf :)

160. Story of your first kiss? lmao nop

161. Story of the first time you made out with someone? lmAO NOPE

162. Story of the first time you had sex? FUCK NOP

163. When did you first have sex? 18 bye

164. First time you gave/ received oral sex? 18 jesus

165. Do you still talk to the person you lost your virginity to? nope but im gonna have to soon kill me i want to die

167. Favorite fictional character (movie, book, tv show)? cosima niehaus

168. How many followers do you have on tumblr? What about twitter/ instagram? 500 something idk? twitter like 200 something and insta 200 something too? idk im not really on insta anymore?

169. Are you friend with your parents on Facebook? who isnt?

170. First time you thought you were in love? When did you realize that you weren’t actually in love with that person? haha lol wow what a mistake jahahahaha

171. Do you talk to yourself? constantly

172. How old will you be on your next birthday? 20 what the fuck

173. How did you meet the last person you kissed? we were in public speaking together rip

174. Do you have any hickies? yea

175. Turn ons? girls

176. Turn offs? boys

177. What qualities did you get from your mom? all of my bad qualities

178. What qualities did you get from your dad? also all of my bad qualities

179. How many siblings do you have? 2 older brothers

180. Have you ever taken anyone’s virginity? nope

#christ that was more than i thought it was #thank u tho :)#Anonymous

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surveystodestressme · 6 years

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101.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 24

2201. Do you have a favorite song by The Cure? no. 2202. Are there things you’ve never told for fear that others would judge you? oh yeah there’s definitely some stuff 2203. Do you have a favorite Glen Miller song? i don’t know who that is 2204. Can sex ever be casual? yes. 2205. Who was the last person to let you down? i don’t know

2206. Do others feel that you expect too much of them? i hope not 2207. Did you forgive the last person who hurt you? i don’t even know who that was so probably 2208. Does one bad deed outshine many good deeeds? i don’t think so 2209. Would you like to go on television to receive a make-over? nah 2210. What will no one ever see you do? i don’t know honestly 2211. Are you quick to anger? usually yeah 2212. Are you slow to forgive? not really 2213. Do most people around you have a positive attitude? somewhat

2214. What do you need help with? figuring out how to give a proper blow job 2215. Do you know a lot about geography? not a lot at all, one of my worst subjects 2216. Do you take the easy way out of things? most of the time 2217. What is your favorite fabric to wear? anything soft and cozy 2218. Would you finish this survey if it went up to 10,000 questions? eventually 2219. Would you rather visit the dessert or the rainforest? rainforest. 2220. What does Domo Oregato Mister Roboto actually mean? i have no idea 2221. Do you still make a wish when you blow out your birthday candles i don’t get a birthday cake anymore so that would be a negative 2222. Make a wish now: ok 2223. Do you look for four leaf clovers? not really anymore 2224. What are you the guardian of? my destiny 2225. Do you treat people differently based on their appearance? nope 2226. Are you for or against censoring child pornography? i am absolutely for that shit. 2227. Are naked child images in paintings more acceptable than photographs of naked children? still wrong regardless 2228. Now that we can create such lifelike digital images, do you think it should be allowed for digital child pornography to exist (as in there were no children involved in the porn, it is all digitally made, the kids aren’t real, they just look real)? why though? can’t we just not have child pornography period? why can’t the sick fucks who enjoy that shit be arrested? 2229. Do you like wheel of fortune or jeopardy better? neither honestly. never really watched either of them 2230. Are you a fan of the Clash? no idea what that is 2231. How do you feel about Jerry Orbuch’s passing on? idk who that is 2232. What celebrity are you dreading the future death of? morgan freeman 2233. Are you a fan of Joy Division? no. 2234. If you were going to ‘make over’ your diary what theme would you give it? - 2235. What is your favorite tarot deck? i dont know shit about tarot cards or anything like that so i have no idea 2236. How do you feel about file sharing (especially movies and music)? i don’t mind it 2237. How do you feel about wicca and paganism? i had a friend who is wicca, it doesn’t bother me 2238. Do you believe that people who practice the above religions are able to accomplish magic? i doubt it 2239. If you were given the opportunity to lead a creative writing program for a small group of students in a high school with a low budget in generally poor neighborhood, would you do it? sure. i like creative writing 2240. If you could pick anyone who would you want living next door to you? idk 2241. If you were a tarot card which one would you be? i don’t know anything about that shit man 2242. Should high school cafeterias stop serving twinkies and other fatty foods? i could care less 2243. Would you rather that McDonalds took a lot of fat out of their fries even if they wouldn’t taste as good? i love their fries man fuck off 2244. Do you neglect your friends when you have a significant other? nah 2245. Do you think that an advertisement for a cake decorating set would make good song lyrics? what? 2246. Would a band that used this ad for song lyrics take off or just fizzle out? idk. 2247. Are you more practical or imaginative? practical. 2248. Can you see beautiful colors without closing your eyes? sure. 2249. What are the four best songs or bands to listen to while making love? i dont listen to music while i’m making love 2250. What do you believe in? a lot of things, myself included 2251. What band is so romantic that anyone who listens to them must be romantic at heart? oh i have no idea 2252. Are you a fan of Roxy Music? no idea 2253. Can you ever say something that hasn’t been said or do something that hasn’t been done? probably not 2254. When was the last time you were up all night? not too long ago 2255. Do you enjoy wasting time? on occasion yeah 2256. Why do people use safe notes? idek what that means 2257. Have your gods and idols let you down? nah 2258. Is a place in the country your ideal? not at all 2259. Have you ever developed a photograph? yes i have 2260. Have you ever courted anyone? nope Has someone courted you? no 2261. What do you waste? money 2262. Have you ever silk screened a t-shirt? no 2263. Is there anything that you tend to make that most people usually buy rather than make themselves? scarves,pillows, etc. i craft a lot 2264. When was the last time that you were neither going to school or working for a month or more? when i was on vacay 2265. Is alcohol an excuse you use to be yourself for a while? nada 2266. What is your light at the end of the tunnel? my boyfriend? 2267. Speaking of the light, is the light that people see when they die the random firing of electrons or is it something more? i have no idea 2268. Do you ever step back thinking of life’s inner meaning and your latest fling? sometimes ig lol 2269. Can anyone guess what band/song I am listening to right now? i have no idea,probably something i don’t know anyways 2270. When was the last time you were embarrassed? my boyfriend gave me shit for not being able to cook 2271. If you were going to have a mural painted in your bed room what would you want it to be of? space 2272. Is sex more about fulfilling a need or giving yourself? both. 2273. Do you like your belly? not at the moment 2274. Do you think more or act more? think. 2275. Do you ever think about the price of gasoline? all the time lol 2276. What is the healthiest food to eat? idk meat probably 2277. Have you ever read: Jonathan Livingston Seagull? no. Ender’s Game? no. Memnoch the Devil? no. 2278. Should there be a mandatory retirement age? nope 2279. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done on impulse that worked out well? i don’t remember. 2280. List everything you have eaten in the past 24 hours: cereal, waffles, hashbrowns, wings 2281. Do you listen to your intuitions, feelings and tingly sensations? usually 2282. Do you know a lot about the city you live in and do you think it’s important to know a lot about it? i know a lot and yeah i think so 2283. If you were at the Everything in the Whole Wide World museum what would you want to see first? dont know what that is but it sounds pretty cool 2284. Have you ever read: Lost Souls? The Shining? seen the movie Damnation Game? Pearl Harbor? 2285. Do you have any exercise tapes or dvds? used to 2286. Do you own a pair of lucky underwear? no. 2287. You’ve been feeding a wild cat but it’s annoying your neighbors. You can not adopt it but youu must get rid of it. Which is kinder, taking it to a no-kill shelter that will keep it in a cage for the rest of it’s life or having it put to sleep? take it to a shelter. the one i work at doesnt keep their cats in cages unless they’re sick, they get to roam around in a room with a bunch of other cats. it’s actually a perfectly good temporary home for cats. 2288. Can you spell “mouse” without singing it (at least in your head)? yes. 2289. What’s a word people should use more often? cunt 2290. What is the longest word you can type using only the top (letter) row of the keyboard? worry

2291. Do you listen to other people’s advice? sure do 2292. Would you ever consider putting your entire cd collection on your hard drive and then selling the cd’s? i dont even think i know where any of my cds are 2293. What do you think of this survey so far? it’s alright 2294. What is one question that hasn’t been on this survey yet but should be? there’s plenty i’m sure 2295. Does 'liberty and justice for all’ mean for all americans or all people? americans. 2296. What do you believe that you think EVERYONE should agree with? be nice to everyone 2297. Does the sound of crickets bother you? when i’m sleeping, yeah 2298. Is the sound of a fan on at night soothing? yes. 2299. How do you feel you will likely die? no idea 2300. If you were going to run away where would you go? somewhere far away from here

#bored #questions #quiz #survey

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years

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Rob& Chyna Recap: Exactly Touched Down In Chyna Town

In this weeks thrilling peak into the life of, the cherishing duo make a trip-up to DC, the Kardashians we actually care about get cameos, and Rob learns what a waldorf salad is.

Most importantly, we get to finally convened some of Chynas family and MAN do occasions start to make a lot more sense Re: Chynas preferred method of confrontation.

Chynas mom is appointed Tokyo Toni and I am already over this occurrence. Chyna describes her as the realest being she knows. This doesnt looks a lot like often of a competition as Chyna lives in LA and spends most of her time hanging out with the Kardashians.

Tokyo Toni craves Rob and Chyna to come up to visit her in DC for the 4th of July so Rob can experience his first real obstruct defendant. Chyna known to be Rob would hate every part of this, so shes probably going to acquire him do it.

True love: checking in on your lovers Postmates orders to make sure he isnt cheating on his diet. How happy do you have to be to guild a Kit Kat on Postmates? Thats a grade of self-deprecation that I have yet to even reach.

Chyna tells Rob that she got a call from Kim and Khlo inviting her to Khlos birthday party. He had already known about the party but hadnt told her because he didnt want to go. Shocker. Something like Khlos birthday party would be high profile, aka Robs worst nightmare. To be fair, any party where I might have to stand next to Kendall Jenner in a photo “wouldve been” my worst nightmare as well.

They decide to go to the party together and no one even hollered in a vehicle or shed posies of buds into the consortium to get to that decision. Progress.

Chyna: Wow that was a healthy discussion that we handled like adults. Rob: Yeah. Chyna: So anyways gives examine my mommy next.

The second Chyna delivers up the 4h of July Rob just straight-up bails. Like, leaves her residence. You can only manage so many serious exchanges in a epoch before you were supposed to Postmates some Kit Kats, I suppose.

While getting ready for Khlos party, Rob has a meltdown about his outfit and tries to get out of going. Make she who hasnt tried to cancel proposals over a wardrobe failure shed the first stone. On the way to the party Rob casually removes that his diabetes may be acting up again. The last-place era this happened was because “hes been gone” cold turkey on his insulin and had to spend some time in the ICU. Person please explain to this grown adult that insulin isnt a Flinstones gummy vitamin that you can pa as you please.

Khlos birthday is at Dave& Busters, which leads me to believe that it might actually be her bat mitzvah. If anyone are determined to throw a mid-life coming of age ceremony for a religion they dont even follow, it would be a Kardashian.

Watching Khlo and Chyna interact is like the buildup to the watering hole situation in, and tbh I dont even know who would come out on top in that combat. Segment of me wants to think that being pregnant would slacken Chyna down, but even a dazzle Chyna at half-speed is even more capable of taking someone out than me at heyday fitness.

Rob stands for an hour to take photos before honcho dwelling. Weird , none of those seems to make it to Instagram.

Chyna sheds a BBQ after Khlos to try and continue Rob from reverting back to mole guy mode. She invites Scott, who proceeds to offer all the entertainment by talking about coke and Chynas dads dick. Scott is that guy that you bring to any event youre apprehensive about listening, because no matter the environment he will retain his outrageous, semi-drunk attitude.

Rob begrudgingly agrees to go to DC with Chyna and she starts the trip off with a tour of her childhood haunts. She stops to take some photos with love outside her old-time home and Rob instantly shuts down.

Rob : Im really nervous about this family dinner, hopefully it croaks smoothly. Chyna : Oh cool I invited my estranged mothers who havent spoken to in ten YEARS.

She also invited three of her half-siblings , nothing of who have met her baby. Tokyo Toni doesnt seem like the kind of woman you want to ambush with these concepts, which means that the producers 100% sent out the invites and told Chyna to play along.

Tokyo Toni shows up in what looks like a Japanese outfit with chopsticks sticking out of her hair, because no one is brave enough to explain culture appropriation to her.

They are, nonetheless, brave enough to tell her that Chyna is essentially the same age as two of her siblings, entailing her papa was cheating on Toni. This revealing doesnt come off well.

Rob: Im so glad that Chynas family is unstable, its truly taking the spotlight off me.

Toni lovingly tells the story of the first time she saw Chyna dancing at the golf-club, as if it was her first high school dance or something. This leads to the family plus Chynas suite heading toward Synsaysionals, Chynas first association. She describes it as a bit ratchet, so you are familiar with Rob is going to pass out about 30 seconds in.

The excursion to DC is clearly works out for Rob. Hes less uneasy, more self-confident in public, and even stops for a few photos with followers. Say what you will about the relations between the two countries, but Chyna is patently making progress here.

New drama: Hoard, Chynas oldest acquaintance, and Paige, Chynas current best friend, very clearly abhor each other. Treasure doesnt cartel Paige( real mention Mika) because she satisfied Chyna after she was far-famed. The shade is unreal. The entire gang is all out together bowling and Treasure wont even announce her Paige because its her LA name, which is a little hypocritical because. you are familiar with Blac Chyna is for sure birth given.

Paige leaves the bowling party early because Treasure isnt even attempting to hide her antagonism. Chyna convenes her back at the hotel and tells her to work it out or else. Im securely Team Paige on this one, because Treasure fears the shit out of me. By the time the 4th of July party comes around they still havent worked out their issues, so Chyna pulls them both aside and becomes them hash shit out in front of her. This mama tactic 101 establishes me thing Chyna is going to be a pretty solid momma. Frankly, Im delighted to see that I tolerated through the first two boring episodes of this demonstrate to get to this confrontation.

Treasure, in front of a gang of lighters and TV cameras: Im just worried that Paige is use Chyna for her fame.

Tokyo Toni gathers Rob and Chyna aside and sag some real trues. The difficulties Rob and Chyna have dont even compare to the shit that Toni went through: a poor 16 -year-old girl with a babe, figuring shit out on her own. She doesnt proceed so far as to call Rob a spoiled bitch, but the implication is there. Will this extremely feeling and alcohol-fueled admonition change Robs perspective on life? Probably not.

2600 miles back, Kris wakes up in a cold sweat with the vaguely menacing sense that someone is trying to mom her son. She recollects his failed sock thread and rollers over to go back to sleep.

The post Rob& Chyna Recap: Exactly Touched Down In Chyna Town appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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gracelessknights · 7 years

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NONE OF THESE QUOTES ARE RELATED

“Oh, Garrett, let’s not talk about the time we ‘got to know’ one another. I know forty-five seconds was probably an all-time high for you, but trust me; most girls would prefer at least a minute,”

“I’m gonna be sick,” I say. “I’m ordering you not to,” says Obi. “Ah, don’t say that,” says Dee-Dum. “She’s a born rebel. She’ll puke just to make a point.”

“Maybe he just has a type,” I challenge. “The only type Carrick has is pretty with a vagina that’s open for business.”

The promise of a cheap beer and a joint win out over chivalry.

“When I was in town earlier, I went to that store that sells English food, and you’ll never guess what they had.” Her face is all lit up. “Alcohol?” That’s just my wishful thinking that she bought me some.

Lisa trails after me, oblivious to my sarcasm and still gushing about Graham. “He’s so gorgeous. Like unbelievably gorgeous.” Her voice lowers to a whisper. “And I hear he’s amazing in bed.” I snort. “He probably started that rumor himself.”

“We don’t need alcohol to have fun, Reagan.” “You sound like an after-school special.”

“You look damn good in a Sentinel uniform.” A hot flush that had nothing to do with embarrassment spread over me. “So do you.” “I know.” I laughed outright. “Wow. Healthy ego there.”

“Stop being a bitch,” Magda spoke up, contributing her first words for the day. “What? You got a patent on it or something?” Zoe returned

Him: How bout tmrw night? I’m free at eight. Me: Can’t. I have the Spanish Flu. Highly contagious. I just saved your life, dude. Him: Aw, I appreciate the concern. But I’m immune to pandemics that wiped out 40-mil ppl from 1918 to 1919. Me: How is it u know so much about pandemics? Him: I’m a history major, baby. I know tons of useless facts.

Shaking my head, I laugh. “God, you’re so—” “Good-looking? Hot?“ “I was going to say cocky.” “Endearing, isn’t it?”

“Just out of curiosity,” she says, “after you wake up in the morning, do you admire yourself in the mirror for one hour or two?” “Two,” I reply cheerfully. “Do you high five yourself?” “Of course not.” I smirk. “I kiss each of my biceps and then point to the ceiling and thank the big man upstairs for creating such a perfect male specimen.”

So he’s a mutt,” he said. “No,” I said, looking at the shaggy bundle still baring his teeth in Jude’s direction. “He’s well-rounded,” I added.

I fingered the lid of my coffee cup. “He introduced me to that Blaze reastaurant on Thayer. It was really good.” “I think it was the company more than anything,” Jared said, his eyes softening.

I explained his mistake and started writing it down in my own girlie script. “Do you see how I got there?” Ryan nodded, unsure. “I see how you got there, getting there on my own is the persistent problem.”

“You’re not old enough to drink,” he grimaced, ignoring my accusation. I leaned closer to him. “We don’t tell the bartender that,” I whispered.

I just have a bad habit of lashing out at those I care about. It’s a piss-poor excuse, I know, but I am sorry,”

“You can’t make her drink that many shots,” Shepley said. “Travis. Tell him.” Brazil held up his hand. “I’m not making her do anything. For every shot she drinks, she gets a twenty. It’s our present to her.” His smile faded when he noticed Shepley’s frown. “Your present is alcohol poisoning?”

“I drink,” he said. “I also smoke. But that’s one thing they won’t let me do in here.” “Disgusting. I’m even less attracted to you than before.” “What are you smiling about?” “You just said you were attracted to me.” His self-satisfied smile was contagious. “Yeah, but that was before you spoke.”

“Intimate relations. Intercourse. Coitus. Doing the deed. Nookie. Fornicating. Laying pipe. Screwing. Sex. Tapping that ass. Fucking. Need I go on?”

“I don’t like country music.” “No one does. Just roll with it.”

Football is a religion around here, and he is the chosen messiah. Which sounds kind of sacrilegious considering the fact that he’s smacking a brunette on her ass as he leaves her at the classroom door.

"Nicknames are important. Feel free to pick one out for me. I can provide a list of suggestions. Big Guy. God. Master. Awesome Master.” “How about overweening ego?” I offer.

So if I did what my dad always wanted, I’d be married, with two kids, no education, wondering which strand of pearls I should choke myself with before my husband comes home smelling like his secretary.

I feigned disinterest, kicked out my legs and got more comfortable on Dad’s recliner. “Her name’s Lois, not Laney.” Mom smiled. “Well, I think I’m going to call her Laney. I like it better. It suits her.” I scoffed. “You can’t just go changing people’s names, Ma.” “Why not, Bobby Jo?” she sang. “Who the hell is Bobby Jo?” She laughed under her breath. “You are now.” I laughed with her. “I think I prefer Lucas.” “You still didn’t answer my question, Bobby Jo.”

"Garray already got to you, huh?” “I think he must be an acquired taste,” I mumbled.

She sighs. Then a slight smile breaks through. “I’m going to miss seeing your ugly face every day.” “Shut up. You love my face.” Her eyes roll. “Yeah, it’s like looking into the sun.” “So beautiful it hurts?” I ask, unable to contain my smirk. “Blindingly painful.”

“Next question?” “Why are you such an ass?” I laughed under my breath. “Everyone has to excel at something, right?” “Well, you’re doing a great job.”

Johnson pulls out some bills. “My treat this time, yeah?” “Excuse me while I take in this moment,” Rolondo says expansively, his arms open wide. “Johnson—punk ass, cheap motherfucker Johnson—is paying.”

Gray and Ivy’s wedding. Now that was a drunken blur. Good times.

“I was thinking—” “Uh-oh. This can’t be good.” “Smartass.” She grinned.

“Your team definitely has… potential.” “I don’t know if potential is the right word,” I tell her.

“Okay, but you’re going to have to snap the ball to me.” “Snap the ball?” I make a face. “Like bend over…” His grin is evil. “And I put my hands between your legs. Don’t give me that look. Dex does this for me every game.” “Is this the point where I launch into a diatribe about the blatant homoeroticism found in football?”

“Where have you been?” she asked. I arched a brow, fighting a laugh as the heat raced across her cheeks and down her throat. “Well hello, honey, I’ve been out boozing and whoring. I know my priorities are pretty off.”

“Sara, you know you’re the only girl for me.” He laid a hand over his heart. “I’m just passing time until you realize that.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw two girls at a nearby table watching his display with equal expressions of jealousy and dismay. “Yeah ok. Cool it Romeo,” I said, laughing. “Before you break every heart in here and start a lynch mob after me.”

“You’re such a dick sometimes.” I didn’t lift my head. “Don’t really think that’s breaking news.”

And I like sex. Love good sex, elusive as it is.

“Sex shouldn’t be work,” he insists. “It should be easy. Girls come to us, give us a good time, and we send them on their way with a nice thank you and maybe a pat on the ass if they’re extra special.” “I pity your bed partners.” “They have a good time,” Gray says. “A great time.” “Sure. You let them do all the work while you lay back like a lazy shit. Sounds awesome for them.” He gives me a sour look. “Well, you sound like a girl.” “If I was one, I wouldn’t be f**king you.”

“But Henry really wanted me to go, and you’ve been moping around the house lately.” “I have not been moping!” “Staring out the window,” she insists. “Like some tragic Jane Austen heroine.” “Austen’s heroines aren’t tragic. They are empowered.” “Says you. All those repressed feelings and prideful denials.” Her snub nose wrinkles. “Pathetic. Just own your emotions already.”

“Hey.” His smile grows. “I’ve been thinking about you, Jones.” “Don’t strain yourself.”

I kissed her cheek and stood. “Besides, you’re the best mom I’ve ever had.” “I bet you say that to all your moms.”

(In reference to the baby he’s carrying) He raised his cynical eyes to her and grunted. "If he gives any indication that he’s going to shit or vomit, I’m pointing him in your direction.” “And they say chivalry’s dead.”

“What happened?” asked Hermione, her tone inevitably concerned. “I barely touched you.” “Shoulder…dislocated,” he rasped out. “You let me slap you when you’re injured?” “I didn’t let you slap me,” he replied drolly. “Evidently, it’s just a habit you have regardless of whether we’re in a relationship or not. Charming, by the way.” “How did you dislocate your shoulder?” “Folk dancing.” “Draco.” “Fighting bloody Death Eaters. Obviously.”

Today I wore a pair of white jeans and a black sweater that made me feel as if I was seconds away from stripping off my clothes and finding the nearest pole. I glanced over my shoulder and Roth raised a brow as one side of his lips slipped up. “Can you walk in front of me?”

He chuckled deeply. “Not in this lifetime.”

On why he doesnt wanna be a gynaecologist : “But if I’m going to have my hand inside a woman’s honeypot, I’d much rather it be for pleasure than for work.”

The music is soft in the background, but soulful and deep. I like it. “What’s this? A study playlist?” He shakes his head. “A playlist? Nah. It’s the Black Keys. I buy whole albums, not individual songs. I’m not afraid of commitment, babe.” I smirk at his strange innuendo. “Good to know.”

“What will they do once I take you off the market?” I ask. “I can only imagine the poor girls wandering around like a lost herd of sheep all summer, wondering where you went.” I risk another glance at the staring girls and shudder. “Do they even blink? Baa. Baa. Baa.”

“How long do I have to keep up the happy part? I’m getting a cramp.” “That’s the spirit.” He chuckles,

Matt helped her with her golf swing in the auditorium at lunch. Matt was the captain of the golf team, and Ariadne was thinking about joining, although first she had to learn how to play. “Cassie, why don’t you put that book down and come learn how to golf?” Ariadne called to her cousin. In response, Cassandra opened another book.

"Sound jealous, don’t you?” “Not likely,” I replied, turning my e-reader back on. “Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart. One of these days you’re going to admit that you’re madly, deeply in love with me. It’s my boyish charm—hard to resist.” “If you’d gone with your body being irresistible, it would’ve been more believable.”

"You’re going to do fine,” he says, rubbing my arms. “Do not give me a half-time inspirational speech,” I order. The last thing I need is some rah-rah-rah about being my best.” “Sure. We can go to the bathroom and fuck away your nervousness.”

“In my head, this went a lot smoother,” I offer. “How so?” “Um, I guess I throw up my arms and say ‘surprise,’ and you say, ‘Goldie, you’re a sight for sore eyes,’ and then I respond with, ‘you, too.’ After we get those awkward, trite greetings out of the way, you haul me into your arms and give me a movie star kiss. We pretend it’s raining and that we’re at the end of a Nicholas Sparks movie and you swear your undying devotion.” “According to my mom, everyone dies at the end of a Sparks movie, so my devotion appears to be short-lived.” “True, but the promised love is undying, so even after your ticker gives out, the devotion lives on.”

“What rhymes with insensitive?” I tap my pen on the kitchen table, beyond frustrated with my current task. Who knew rhyming was so fucking difficult? Garrett, who’s dicing onions at the counter, glances over. “Sensitive,” he says helpfully. “Yes, G, I’ll be sure to rhyme insensitive with sensitive. Gold star for you.”

On the other side of the kitchen, Tucker finishes loading the dishwasher and turns to frown at me. “What the hell are you doing over there, anyway? You’ve been scribbling on that notepad for the past hour.” “I’m writing a love poem,” I answer without thinking. Then I slam my lips together, realizing what I’ve done. “I just have one question,” Garrett starts. “Really?” Tuck says. “Because I have many.” […] “Hey,” I say as inspiration strikes. “What if I steal the words to “Amazing Grace”? I can change it to…um…Terrific Grace.” “Yup,” Garrett cracks. “Pure gold right there. Terrific Grace.” I ponder the next line. “How sweet…” “Your ass,” Tucker supplies. Garrett snorts. “Brilliant minds at work. Terrific Grace, how sweet your ass.” He types on his phone again. “Jesus Christ, will you quit dictating this conversation to Hannah?” I grumble. “Bros before hos, dude.” “Call my girlfriend a ho one more time and you won’t have a bro.” […] (He texted her the love poem) Her: Don’t quit your day job, Emily Dickinson. Me: Hey, u didn’t say it had to be GOOD. Her: Touché. D- on the poem. Can’t wait to see your collage. Me: How do u feel about glitter? And dick pics? Her: If there’s a pic of your dick on that collage, I’m photocopying it and passing it around in the student center. Me: Bad idea. You’ll give all the other dudes an inferiority complex. Her: Or an ego boost.

All in all, Ellis seems like a decent man, and when the kids thunder out of the locker room and greet him like he’s Jesus Christ brought back to life, my opinion of him climbs higher.

“My mom has officially dubbed you a ‘good catch.’” Dani takes a seat next to me on the back steps of the small two-story house where I’ve lived all my life. I tap my glass of sangria against hers. “That’s solid. I’m going to put that on my Tinder profile.”

“Jesus, she’s hot!” Dani grabs my phone to pinch and zoom, first on Sabrina’s face and then the rest of her body. “Are you sure she’s not bi? Because it’s a crime that she has to suffer through life with a man.”

“I thought maybe you’d want to spend the weekend with me.” And he’s quick to offer that reassurance again, adding, “No expectations, by the way. I’m not inviting you to, like, a three-day fuck fest or anything.” I snort. My boyfriend, ever the wordsmith.

Hunter snaps, “It’s that we suck.” Hollis tips his head. “You got laid last night, didn’t ya?” The dark-haired freshman furrows his brow. “What does that have to do with anything?” “Everything. We embarrassed ourselves in that game, got our asses kicked, and you still had chicks lining up to suck on your knob. Doesn’t matter if we win or lose—we’re still hockey players. We rule this school, dude.” “Spoken like a man without ambition,” Garrett says, his lips twitching.

"Uh-huh,” Logan says as if he’s in agreement, but I’ve known him long enough to be able to pick up on his sarcasm. “Anyway, this girl…she’s the love of my life. She’s smart and funny and unbelievably compassionate. She forgives people even when they don’t deserve it. She—” “Good lay?” Pace interrupts. “Oh yeah. The best.”

"Was the sex really boring?” “Why is everything with you always about sex?” I pass the joint back. “And FYI—the sex was fine.” “Fine?” He snickers. “Wow, what a ringing endorsement.”

(Garrett when texting his ‘manwhore’ friend) Garrett: Allie’s gonna crash in my room. Garrett: Your dick can stay in your room.

"Did you have a girlfriend in high school?” I ask. He waggles his eyebrows. “I had many.” “Oooh, what a stud.”

He sighed. “Fine. I spoke with Hestia about your history lessons, arranged for you to begin self-defense lessons with Charon—” “What?” Charon piped up from his end of the table. “When did that happen?” “Just now,” Hades said around a bite of chicken. “I’m multitasking.”

“You know, I don’t actually have sex with every woman I talk to, Chess.” “You don’t?” “So dubious.” He nudges me with his shoulder. “I do have some standards.” “And they are?” He gives me a cheeky look. “Whether or not I want to have sex with them.” “Your vetting processes is foolproof, I’ll give you that.”

She exhales heavily. “I’m babbling.” “I’m used to it,” I say, shrugging. “A lot of women lose their shit around me.” Cassie rolls her eyes. “They probably lose their lunches too.”

I interrupt her, clearing my throat loudly. “No names,” I say, looking around. “A code name, then,” she suggests. “I want to know if Horse –“ I roll my eyes. “Do I need to ask why you picked that as a code name?” “I was trying not to be subtle.“ She runs her finger along the rim of her margarita glass and licks salt off her fingertip. “Because he’s hung like a horse, obviously.” “Yes. I got the joke.” “Yeah, you should have, especially given the fact that you’ve seen all of the goods.” “I’m not referring to him as Horse,” I protest. “Donkey would be more appropriate, since he’s a jackass.” “Oh, that fits, too,” she says, laughing. “Donkeys have huge dicks.” “Conversation with you is always so classy, Sable. It’s really a testament to how you were raised. Those classes in etiquette must have taught you a lot.”

“You brought flowers,” I note flatly. Flowers from a football player? What kind of warped parallel universe did I just enter? He shrugs. “Chicks like flowers, don’t they?” “Your charm is overwhelming, only surpassed by your sexism.”

“If you want, I can take these pants off and remind you what you were looking at.” “Thanks, but I had a late lunch. I’m hoping not to vomit it up today.”

-Just a compilation of (I think) really great one-liners from books/fanfictions I’ve read

#you can ignore it idm #i just want it for reference #sorry its so long #yes #quips #ref #roast