#oh this is real

[shinseifer]

"average cat owner spends 3 years in prison" factoid actualy just statistical error. average owner spends 0 years in prison. Miette's mother, who kicked her body like the football and went to jail for One Thousand Years is an outlier adn should not have been counted

#miette #spiders georg #tumblrstuff #meme #1k #One Thousand Notes #oh! oh! #I swear I can math in real life #10k #tumblr is insane #is this post making the miette tag trend #20k #I know there are more than 333 cat owners #It was a small sample size #40k #50k #75k #100k

[wrenderart]

I made this a couple of months ago but. hack your 3ds. do it right now.

#my art #graphic design #3ds #3ds hack #hi everyone ill make new content soon sowwy ive been moving #the real reason im posting this is so i can link it from my neocities #oh i have a neocities btw. check out my main blog for that info

[cozylittleartblog]

@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you

edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally

#dashboard #staff #tumblr update #comic #art #doodles #costco ceo about the price of a hot dog.png #i refuse to believe this is a real problem that site owners think people have #frankly i refuse to believe people had this issue with deviantart before eclipse #i am sorry you have to put about 15 minutes of effort into understanding a new website. feel better soon #my main blog doesn't have it yet but i logged into here to make this post and. i have it #this is fucking terrible. it would ahve been really really funny for april fools day but not as a permanent change #i hate it a Lot. i hate it so fucking much. oh . my god. #edit - guys i amnot actually sending de*th threats to staff it's the costco hot dog meme

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[cryptocism]

a dænce of roëmænce

depictions of the ace experience never seem to include the nightmare-borne skeleton creature from hell so kudos to the dimension 20 team for their commitment to accurate rep

#my art #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy spoilers #riz gukgak #baron from the baronies #ive been watching the new season and god i love baron what a little freak #junior year has also solidified riz as an all time fav so this was truly inevitable #i just love the concept of a “my girlfriend who lives in canada” lie gone horribly wrong #uh oh! your girlfriend is real and he lives in your briefcase #try not to die :)

[wotchernewt]

cool new life series! very serious very dramatic!

#mcyt #life series #life series spoilers #oh god i actually need to tag this as real life. sorry to any fans of. the real world i guess #real life #real life smp #grian #grian fanart #impulsesv #impulsesv fanart #solidaritygaming #solidaritygaming fanart #smallishbeans #smallishbeans fanart #goodtimeswithscar #goodtimeswithscar fanart #wotchart #can you believe they ALL died in that mineshaft. except for jimmy. #fastest i've ever scrambled to draw and post a fanart #haven't even drawn half these people before

[ayilings]

they get groceries and krill someone

based on this meme

#hatsune miku #vocaloid #the metamorphosis #vocaloid fanart #comic #i guess lol #eternal comfort character and high school ap literature comfort character except the real comfort character is absurdity #if u want a silly time look at the qrts of the tweet i shared theres good stuff happening over there #ayilings #2023 #OH !!! the gregor here is a redraw of that one book illustration of him thats in all the memes just 2 b transparent

[tranquil-slaughterhouse]

#oh yeah that's real moth fur lol #hazbin hotel #welcome to heaven #niffty #valentino #hazbin hotel spoilers #how val didn't decide to kiil her on the spot we'll never know lol

[ohheyitsgray]

give it up for year 3

#unus annus #animation is CANCELLED this year you only get an animatic 🫵 #but hey its something #anyways happy anniversary unus annus you were a real one #ethan nestor #markiplier #unus annus fanart #crankgameplays #i know the hug is wonky in the last shot but as usual this was done very last minute #oh well we die like men #gray’s art

[starberry-skies]

i post for PACEY PUFFERFISH AND PACEY PUFFERFISH ONLY BAYBEEEE

i also post for for alexis anglerfish, delano dorado fish, gracie grouper fish, and lois lionfish.

y'all take care of urselves, stay weird and stay kind, goodnight everypony.

#edit: oh and also by reblogging this you agree that mspec veldians/lesbians are real and valid :^) #oh btw loves i would recommend Answer in Progress' video 'why you stopped reading' if you haven't already seen it ! #in case u did actually want to start reading again yk? #oh btw prns are he/it. i'd appreciate u using that instead of theythem but like. idc #chirping #..... long sigh.... #famous era #100 #edited this on aug 14th 2023- removed tags as well

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

weird hearing "were you a Theatre Kid" "were you a Sports Kid" "were you a Choir Kid" "were you a Dance Kid" bc no? i mean i did all of that and more but resented ever minute of it? actively avoided sticking with anything? i was a "In This Family After School Activities Are Mandatory Kid"

#oh and i was really really bad at all of it btw #which was a good thing actually otherwise i would have gotten bored even *more* quickly #christ if i was good at a Activity i probably would have had to stick with it #that would have been EXHAUSTING #i survived soooo many Activities by standing in the background doing the bare minimum so I could focus on the Hyperrealistic Daydreams #baseball was my favorite. if u wear a glove u can literally just stand in the back of a field & stare at grass & no one bothers you #i mean usually no one bothers you but there is one specific situation where everyone starts yelling your name real loud and pointing

[hellenhighwater]

I was waiting for something and wound up watching part of an episode of the Apprentice UK and discovered a new fun fact about myself: watching people who claim to be good at negotiating fuck up literally the most basic negotiation tactics fills me with a wild animal rage

#i used to do competitive negotiation which is a real thing that exists #anyways the apprentice sucks and these are the most annoying plastic people and oh my god do none of them even know what anchoring is #im so mad i need to go eat a bagel #clawing and chewing and biting

[thislittlecowcanfly]

the weather can go crazy

aka what Gojo should have said in front of KFC

#satosugu #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #gojo satoru #satosugu art #artists on tumblr #weathering with you #makoto shinkai #satosugu got makoto shinkai-ed for real #i rewatched weathering with you and i was like #oh hell yeah this is so satosugu coded #my art #procreate #digital art #screencap redraw

[egophiliac]

innocently logging in to look at the Twst schedule for May like

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers #tsumsted wonderland #i-is that enough spoiler tags #anyway twst just absolutely obliterating me with the schedule again #i saw the story completion campaign ended in june and was like 'oh okay that'll be when we get the next part' NOPE HA HA #oh my god rook. oh my god savana rook is real. #w...why is this a story card. hey twst wHY IS THIS A STORY CARD -- #is rook dreaming of still being a rowdy boy or #and why is he...(squints) why is he in a pomefiore bedroom #never mind i'm actually terrified of this card now #god. the STETSON. i'm crying. #he really is just applejack huh #also vil i don't know what your problem was this man's mane is LUSCIOUS #and what's this? it's twst following up that first punch with the right hook of EVEN MORE of the best and silliest event #malleus is going to be in the middle of an angsty flashback while dangling us over a pit of spikes or something #and then we're going to cut directly to him having a charming little tea party with a small plush version of himself #oh twst your sense of pacing remains exquisitely incomprehensible #(no i love this though)

[scruntassdude]

i love gary so much he really gets me

bonus:

#finnpost #fionna and cake #marshall lee the vampire king #prince gumball #gumlee #fionna and cake spoilers #i cannot believe we got confirmed monster fucker gary thats so funny to me #real of him tho #in every universe gumball/bubblegum see a dangerous red-themed demon and go 'oh i cant NOT fuck that' #real of them tbh

[nouverx]

crawls in here

Humbly requests more of your human! Al bc I’m unapologetically obsessed with him👀….

GOOD because I am also obsessed with him

He's 29 Mimzy!! Run!!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin alastor #human alastor #sketch #autodesk sketchbook #art request #I hc mimzy was a heavy smoker while alastor was a very occasional smoker (like “once every two month only at parties” kind of smoker) #the real Alastor's villain origin story lmao #I've seen so many people portray him as killing for justice while I think he would kill out of pettiness #“oh you are more popular and get more attention than me? die :))”