#oh im deep in it now i guess

[queenofbaws]

chin in hands

idk folks. tonight i'm just thinking about the one (1) scene we get with matt and ashley. and mourning that we didn't get to see them interact more in-game. or like. at all.

i just think

i just. think.

theirs would be such an interesting friendship to dissect and study under a microscope skdlfjlskdfjsldfj

#queenie rambles about supermassive #if ashley lets matt look thru the viewfinder his reaction isnt anger towards her but exasperation and disappointment at emily #'maybe it's nothing' 'is it EVER just NOTHING with em?!' 'i mean...i guess not...' hmm methinks you two have talked about this #matt is clearly so comfy joking around w ash and her with him but hes kind of aloof and distant w josh and chris??? #which makes sense when you take into account they were prob in diff grades but we're led to believe those are ashley's BOYS so like....... #what's going on between you two huh. what's. what's all this then. #in t(a) i def had jess be the one who sort of convinces ashley to join in on the prank but the older and wiser i get the more i wonder..... #was it perchance matt #i have too many things to write rn and i am promising myself not to start new shit until i finish old shit but man. im just. thinkin. #did ashley go to matt's football games despite absolutely not understanding the rules??????? #did matt ALWAYS volunteer to be ashley's partner when there were group projects because he knew she'd take it seriously and not nag him???? #after josh and chris graduated did they hang out together at school dances?????????????????? #WHAT DID THEY WRITE IN EACH OTHER'S YEARBOOKS #oh im deep in it now i guess #WHAT KIND OF HUG IS H APPENING WHEN THEY SEE EACH OTHER AT THE END OF THE NIGHT IN THE HELICOPTER

[writhe]

#TAGS TLDR YOU CAN NEVER TRULY GO HOME BUT DO YOU WANT TO? #writing a little for d&d and having feelings about this #it was really interesting jasper and i were working on some game mechanics and we kept getting stuck at weird parts and it developed into #this conversation where we realized we experience the world #in such fundamentally different ways. like specifically talking about how paranoia #manifests and stuff but even later in a broader sense like our experiences of time and everything is so different #and they'd be like 'well what if this is something that happened to lock' and id be like 'how could that be something that anyone would #experience' and they were like 'oh because i do' #(example here was my character not realizing he had been magically transported and filling in the blank with vague memories of travel but i #was like. are you not acutely aware of every single moment you are awake and in motion even if it is excruciatingly boring. and jasper #was like. 'oh...no. i could be transported from one place to another and if time passed i wouldnt even think about having traveled or not' #which was WILD to me but then we were like 'okay i guess this cannot be something that happened to lock' because i couldnt even fathom that #but like anyway idk we got weirdly deep dive-y about d&d stuff and personal lives and i had big feelings on it bc genuinely i feel like #there are facets and caverns in myself i have only ever touched in storytelling but particularly in this campaign #and i've joked a lot about Lock and other chars in this game being self inserts #but i mean it in a good way #like the ways we tell stories or experience a world we created together is going to be through an extension of ourselves etc #but it's interesting to me to consider the limitations that brings yknow? we all live by such vastly different sets of rules and #understandings #and im writing out some stuff now and im like. yknow. #lock can never truly go home. i can never truly go home. none of us can ever truly go home #home as shifting impermanence home as transience etc #2017 levi is back apparently but hes always been right

[orcelito]

Still not used to how damn easy it is to make me cry anytime anything dad related is mentioned

It's like a specific trigger that is all over everywhere. Ah well. Such is life.

#speculation nation #not like every mention of a dad does this but if it makes me think about *my* dad. well nonzero chance ill start crying right there. #usually just a few tears. i wasnt even sniffling for this one. #just got punched in the heart and squeezed my eyes shut and what do you know. theres tears now. #stopping as quickly as they started. #and sometimes i see a loving dad in a show hugging his kid(s) and i get just a Deep ache in my chest... #this may or may not just be the entire rest of my life y'all. sigh. #negative/ #i guess. i know all the dead dad talk has got to be rather tiring by now. #but it's been almost 2 months and im still processing. alas. #i'll still be processing for months and months im sure. oh well.

[july-19th-club]

also it's so fun that he decides not to be a monk anymore by basically going 'well GOD made me an insane and swashbuckling loverman and who am i to argue with the divine' in a scene that is equal parts romantic comedy and 'emilio sees the door and knows his purpose'. like well i WOULD have a really deep conversion but .. sadly .. im too fun and sexy anyway let's go back to paris and i'll see if the queen still wants me to get in her pannier

#oh . hang on . the emilio in my head . thinking about him again #oh he would be so great at surviving the horrors................i have half the show cast in my mind already #cousin greg plays jimmy simply because he's six foot seven . there's no other reason for it frankly #willem dafoe plays THEE yarborough of Ugly Gay Cowboy Priest fame #mr cabrera. The Emilio (he has the range to go from this to it was my pain it was my love. i know it) #this isnt even a musketeers post anymore its a lets cast the sparrow post . WHO! would you cast as anne #thats very important to me is who to cast as anne edwards . like who could fill the carrie fisher shaped gap there #the musketeers #and uh #the sparrow #I GUESS #q #fuck dude . thoguht id finish an old favorite show again before it went off a platform and now im knee deep in special interest

[jenivi]

its my dream to go to one of the splatoon live performances in person💗 i have a grad trip planned to go to japan in the summer, so i was a liiiitttle bummed knowing they announced one in january (since it lowers the chances of them having one again so soon after; excited to watch it livestreamed tho). fingers crossed for a live in summer 2024 hnngg

#its literally been my dream for so long; MAJOR bucket list #i would also hope lighter190e (pearl va band) does a one man show around the same time period if im lucky #but like the splatoon live they announced one this winter ahsjbfisnaa #i technically graduate in the winter but the trip is sched for when my bf graduates too #so we have a the trip together #if they do have one in the summer i hope its to promote side order so i cna see marina and pearl live💗💓💗💓💓💗💕💖 #i need them there hnngngngng #or i guess not promote but perform the new songs they would have form side order plssssss #also thas my old miitopia pic of the idols :] i come back to miitopia every now and then #OH i made deep cut in there maybe i should post them..... #jenivi rant #my post #splatoon

[theloveinc]

The real genuine answer is labels exist for comfort/personal identification and the difference between bi and pan is as personal for each individual as their sexuality is, so ultimately trying to distinguish between them in the grand abstract is moot. The difference is one feels better than the other, and that’s okay, it rlly doesn’t need to be that deep.

But that’s coming from someone who’s long felt disconnect with both bi and pan labels and has rlly only identified as “queer” for the past five yrs so idk personal bias perhaps

Absotootly!! And actually same with me! I prefer a more general label as well<3 i really enjoy just being queer and not... anything in particular

#this scared the pants off me for a sec i felt like u were going to assassinate me #but then it was like. oh yes. yes. #hence the short answer since i answered something similar like five seconds ago #but youre right too in an important way i didnt previously acknowledge #IT AINT THAT DEEP!! WEE WE'RE FLOATING THE WATER IS ONLY UP TO MY CALVES #lol sorry epic cringe moment #but like yeah. i guess i was just frustrated by the post i saw... which i solved by UNFOLLOWING OP so its over now #but yeah im glad there are other ppl who i can relate to in identity's sense #i think the closest thing for me is bi and im leaning into that more recently but ... it's been more comfy to not in the past #NOT TO OVERSHADOW U IM SORRY I LOVE U #caitie answers #anon #sx talk

[vamptastic]

i think my constant seething rage is honestly very reasonable. i literally live in florida.

#got in argument with a guy the other day abt idk. trans athletes #was basically him trying to explain what the issue is to me (i know. that's kinda step one to having an opinion on it.) #and then going yeah huh i guess you're actually right (i was) #and i was like okay great cool we're done here let me go to class and he starts talking about like #how he still loves trump for this and that reason kinda unprompted (sorry you lost an argument dude go introspect somewhere else im LATE) #and i was like yeah idk abt that. on account of all the corruption. and the foreign policy youre saying is like manly macho man strong is #mostly just wildly stupid posturing that's going to achieve nothing at best and world war at worst #and he goes no don't worry i think DESANTIS would be better for 2024 actually #and i. UNDERSTANDBLY. was like oh okay i cannot speak to you (because i am visibly shaking with rage) #and he goes well i think you are misattributing my intentions (cunt.) #and i said no no i don't think you're malicious i just think you're stupid and wildly misinformed #and then left bc i was about to either hit him or start crying (bc that guy has been like very tangibly ruining my life for months #and i genuinely cannot fathom what fucking tax issue or whatever one would value over like. my right to idk. Exist atp. #and also this coming from someone who just tried to be like no i know so many trans people i love trans ppl im not like those conservatives #like try to dig deep down into whatever rotted husk of a brain is left in your skull and fathom why i might have a strong reaction to your #support for DESANTIS and the SPACE LASERS WOMAN #you fucking idiot.) #and was that civil. No. and now i have to apologize to him bc i feel bad about it even though i fully meant it #idk its what i get for trying to change peoples minds with stupid things like #' statistics ' and ' a utilitarian perspective ' and ' existing legal basis for my argument ' #guys so wrapped up in their right wing bubble they just dont wanna hear it #n they always assume i mustve not heard their talking points and its like look at where we fucking live #and look at the state of the world. NOBODY in any form of mainstream news shares my politics lmao #you think i havent heard every conceivable argument abt trans people??? also you think im dumb enough to form an opinion without looking at #the other side? yeah man i know about the three trans women who have ever won a sports competition ever. do you? #do you even know their fucking names or sports or trial outcomes. #GOD just fucking. pseudo intellectual facist horseshit like pragru and infowars masquerading as legítimate sources #are making so many dumbass illiterate (i truly don't think they have the reading comprehension to decifer a study or even long article) #guys think they're gods gift to politics bc they listened to someone else tell them what a source says through ten layers of propaganda #just. uh. everyone should die forever and also learn to read.

[stuffedsand]

Should I assign everyone pokemon teams

#this is about #milgram #sand speaks #god. this happened w prseka too. im too deep in it now i guess it will permeate my life for at least another year #oh i shoudl do this for homlow kngiht. maybe. #i have ideas already the only issue is haruka actuallt cuz boy hates animals and pokemon kinda count as animals?? most of em at least

[sucktacular]

Who up spending all day not drinking liquids and then wondering why they have a head ache and feel like a husk?

#sucktacular sucks #it me the ps5 #i had a cup of ice tea. a tiny bottle of apple juice. and some sips of water... #but i also scrubbed the fuck out of our whole bathroom and the entire stair case #and it was hot and humid as shit today #and i had to shower a second time today cuz i Genuinely Had To Clean the stairs for saftey and biohazard reasons #that are unrelated to me and not done by me and its a whole thing i wont share here but #ANYWAY I was scrubbing the fuck out of this house today sweaty and sticky and yucky and disgusting #and yet #i neglect... #to simply hydrate my own ass #sitting here writing this instead of doing anything about it 👍 #(ill go get some water i guess finneeee) #also i fucking - okay this is funny #i was at my partners (3 hrs away + not in canada) and we were about to leave to go back to my place #and i said OH WAIT I FORGOT MY WATER BOTTLE and go back in the house and grab my bottle and we go #we get to my house and i look at my partner and i say.... i forgot my actual water bottle.... and theyre like HOW!!! #well see i was preoccupied getting the gatorade bottle id been using to hold my water with for the past few days #and neglected to collect my actual contigo water bottle out of the dish rack cuz i had just deep cleaned it.... #so anyway im boo boo the fool and now i gotta gatorade bottle my water cuz i left my stupid fucking ACTUAL bottle behind #😭😭😭 #ill get it back eventually but damn we wont be havin easy sippins for a moment #end stories :)

[dlnqnt]

on the first day of september i encountered a ghost in my home is this an omen

#im being v fr #my parents' room door has become difficult to open since a few mos ago now it takes a lot of jiggling and turning the knob #so basically u know when someone is trying to enter or leave and it's right next to my room right and i can hear everything #so i get up early to use the bathroom and as i'm getting into the hallway i hear their door handle being struggled w #so im like oh i guess ma's gotta go to the bathroom too #so it stops and i wait a second so i can know which bath she's gonna go to so i can go to the other one #but the door stays closed and no one comes out #so im like oh she must be going b a c k even tho i would definitely have heard her walking back to her room before then if that was the cas #so i go in and check on her jic bcus if she's awake she wouldn't have even gotten settled back in bed by the time i opened the door #and what's this ? the woman is snoring facing away from me deep sleep cozy in bed like she's been there for hours #so im just like wtf and ziggy's perked up in his bed like he would be if he were ready to get up and greet her #and im like. im too tired for this so i do my biz and go back to bed #bcus what am i gonna do abt some freak ghost trying to open doors at 7am who does that u kno #it's the most innocuous shit

[munamania]

something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.

#and i am quite lonely yes thank u for asking. yeah someday id love to get to know someone again in the context of falling in love #what about it. so what now. i dont think im meant for our understanding of romantic love but boy do i crave it #why am i having this moment rn. well ok consider im on my period all i could think about this morning was [redacted] and both parties #of my dyke drama were back in class today. and the one gay person that i think has a crush on me but we dont see each other super often #so im just. guessing based on the way awkward lesbians communicate. idk #and i feel really just mean but i quite literally dont have it in me to pretend to be nice to this person anymore #i wasnt like. some villain for realizing we were acting really coupley and being like oh shit because i didnt want to hurt them #. and trying to communicate and put some distance between us when i thought they were probably in too deep. it's unfortch it took me a sec #but jesus christ yk i cant walk around and feel awkward about it forever. and im frustrated by the fact that we're just acting so odd #but again frankly i think it's largely bc they have an unhealthy relationship with dating. THROWING HORIZONTAL PUNCHES HERE. #OK. STONES FROM A GLASS HOUSE. IM AWARE. REAL RECOGNIZES REAL. #and YET. despite my past insanity. ive been kind. i can understand disappointment and a little awkwardness #but jesus would you rather i pretend to be in love with you for months and then really break your heart. #this is where i get mean and make a joke like well hey if we couldve had weird really mediocre sad angry dyke sex abt it #that would have been cool with me. but alas. we're here instead and it's fucking with my friendships too #and like we were kind of ok friends too. what now. its just u me and this brick wall u built between us bitch #now was EYE not answering texts for a minute. we dont need to get into it. #because the thing IS if i dont play things exactly right. and im not good at that without prior planning. i will accidentally say or do #something that i know. again. from being insane myself. would be just enough for them to hold onto hope #and im not trying to do that to them you know. i was trying to help with the detachment. shitty as it may be. i dont fucking know dude #this post is going to make me look kind of. well. whatever u guys have seen me at my worst. mostly. and post #ok one last thing sorry if this makes me sound like i have a giant ego. like wow heres this person who really liked me and im just shitting #all over them. not what im meaning to do but whatever

[todayisafridaynight]

SORRY FOR HARASSING YOU AS YOU WERE ALREADY REBLOGGING IT GJKHKSFJLS

But yes. Yeah. I cannot believe I'm acting this unhinged over a little ant-sized guy milling about but I am. The ahoge is very much the key, but it also feels like... it disappears depending on the frame? That's why I'm not confident, aside from being unable to make out the nose. IMO he also has very distinctive ears, as do most RGG characters (that's partly how I was able to identify RGGO Joon-gi before he was revealed), so it sucks not being able to line those up.

It is possible I shouldn't have used Hijikata or wasn't able to line everything up perfectly though, because there definitely are differences; I would say Mine's features are a bit more delicate and youthful. So seconding that you're not crazy!

Also you Can and Must say he's dressing like a dweeb, his initial concept art was rejected for being "unbelievably garish" for a reason! This is half the fun and I say it with nothing but affection. (Miura pics for context)

I actually WAS gonna make a comment about the ears but I didn't want to sound too deranged (that's partially where my jaw hypothesizing came from as the length of the jaw could also skew the ears lining up). In any case, whether it is him or not, I'm absolutely super invested to find out who this is when LaD8 comes out (whether it turns out to actually be Mine or if it really is some random guy Kashiwagi decided to hire).

#snap chats #the idea of yakuza having concept art always amazes me tho because every time i try to look for it i can never find it #i wonder what mine concept art looks like... #ah but in any case i dont think youre outrageous for investigating this npc #maybe thats just because i was in deep with KH fans and they psychoanalyze. quite literally Every Pixel on the screen #so this is like VERY reasonable in my book #in the case it is mine though it'd be very funny in that the cameraman caught one of probably the biggest twists in modern rgg #but back onto the design choice....... yeah i dont know if that pink's it..... 'garish' is the word for it thats right.. #its reminding me of mr rogers if i may continue to grill the fit ☠️☠️ INCREDIBLY ironic in regards to mine ☠️ #BUT anyway i guess we'll all see the truth about a year from now #literally so grateful LaD8 is coming out next year Hopefully like god the excitement is real #ALSO NO WORRY BOUT TAGGING ME WHILE I WAS RBING LMAO THAT WAS FUNNY #I ONLY NOTICED AFTERWARDS AND I WAS LIKE 'UH OH' i rb'd too early... #but yes thank you so much for sharing this is absolutely ineresting and as i said #whether it's mine or not im stoked to find out the truth when the game comes out !!

[justtogetthrough]

Look I know humans need to be individually strong and able to function independently etc and stuff but also humans evolved to be in groups too and I don't have a group, I've spent 95% of my life without a group, and I just so desperately want someone to be as attached to me as I am to them. I have spent my whole life lonely by myself on the outside looking in and I don't want to be here anymore. I've experienced what it felt like to be inside a group now and this loneliness feels even worse now that I know what it felt like to belong.

#im starting to miss my toxic and abusive relationship bc even though it had the lowest of lows and i got the most stitches ive ever got #it was still the only few years i felt happy to be alive. i had a community. a found family. #the lowest of lows brought the highest of highs and i would pay that price again to feel loved and cared about. #my therapist made me promise I'll stay alive til we meet again next week and its like oh. here we are again i guess. #if i hadnt just moved 1.5 hours away id probably hit up my ex and be like hey. im back. lets do this again. #this is why i moved though. to prevent going back to that life because i know deep down i want to. #the lowest of lows.... but also the only moments in 32 years i ever felt glad to be alive. #i need someone to pay a lot of attention to me and the person whos been able to partially do this is now pulling away #and my clingyness. my bpd. is like. i need someone new. but new people are scary. so why not my ex #why not the mother of my kid who ruins every life she touches. who ruined me mentally emotionally sexually. #when we werent fighting she made me feel so special and loved #when we were fighting i onc got 107 stitches in one arm #i cant go back. but. the only times ive ever felt good were the in-betweens of those lowest of lows. #im in a really bad place and my one irl friend cant give me what i need and so i just want to die #personal #cw suicide #cw cutting #actuallyborderline #actuallytraumatized #bpdfeels

[katetcake]

Oh God why does he sound like that lmaooo

#kept seeing clips of Cybertron soundwave so im giving this show a chance #and oh god why do they ALL sound like that!! #why did they get rid of Brent Miller!!! 😭😭 #why is jetfire Australian???? why is megatron's voice so deep despite it being the same guy???? #why does thundercracker sound like a stereotypical redneck??? #where is demolisher???? #WHERE IS CYCLONUS/SNOW CAT???? WHERE IS HIS INCESSANT YODELING!!???? #why does megatron's voice go from super deep to how it was the last two series to weirdly deep depending on the scene??? #i guess i'm glad the minicons sre back???? even if they talk now instead of beeping?? #so far only optimus and starscream consistently sound like they did in the previous series #new hot shot va is at least trying to sound like prev hot shot at least #ah geez just everything abt this so far. hoo boy. cannot stop laughing #rip in peperoni snow cat and demolisher. you are missed 😔🙏 #kake scraps #wow i am having some thoughts huh #WHY DOES RED ALERT HAVE A DIFFERENT ACCENT EVEN THO ITS LITERALLY THE SAME VOICE ACTOR??????

[orcelito]

i am Now crying for a 6th time over trigun maximum

knives... making sure vash survives... and using the last of his life to create new growth

Meryl and Milly back again, but this time as Broadcasters, pressuring the 6 months disappeared Vash into showing up on TV

and vash, hair basically completely black, no more angel powers left in him, is now just... living his life. having fun again.

He's Vash the Stampede, and his ticket to the future is blank

it got to me. it really did.

#speculation nation #fanny reads trigun #trigun spoilers/ #after all the pain and loss and suffering. there is hope. #many people dead. the scars of the world lasting. and new tensions introduced. #but there is hope for the future. and vash the stampede lives on. #still a wanted fugitive. even after everything. but so very loved by everyone he's ever known #and livio at wolfwood's grave... the rest of the orphanage returned... #wolfwood's final resting place really is the place he called home #oh nooooooooooo im gonna make myself CRY AGAIN #and.. yea im crying again. guess that makes 7 #trimax just had to really knock it outta the park with making me feel emotions #god this is like. genuinely one of the best manga ive ever read #and ive read a lot of manga. #i think it's doubtlessly part of my now top three #nabari no ou and no.6 have long been tied for my fav mangas. and now trigun is a third. #the mangas that have hurt me deep in my soul. but rebuilt it again. #trigun maximum is just... everything. it's Everything. i love it so so so so SO much

[sludgeguzzler]

i figured it out i cracked the code

#ive always related romantic relationships = emotional stability #even though im literally a divorced parents kid #so i kept going into relationships thinking ''this will fix me his will make me feel better im sure im sure nothing will go wrong with this #bc its always sold as his happy ever after #so i always thought that for me to have someone i can always rely on and count on and love i had to be in a relationship #so now that im realizing wait shit i dont like this kind of relationship #im also realizing wait shit! i need to learn how to get emotionally fulfilled in a way im comfortable with! #and thats like a whole ride #god man i . am not excited to overshare this i think im gonna hidr it deep within my soul #tumblr doesnt count none of you even know what i look like #thats why i got so sad i ended the relationship bc i thought oh my god im losing one of my bestest friends #and i couldnt handle that i got sad that i made him sad by accidentally leading him on and then finding out im aromantic #which is like not my fault but also technically it is so i have tot ake responsability for it and get over my sad ass #and move on ! and give importance to what i care about ! to the people i love and cherish! to my friends!!! #i need to learn to love them i guess #i am way too melodramatic for this i need to leave. i need t stop.