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naruhearts · 5 years

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14x11 Thoughts, Destiel, & 10x09

(copy-paste from Twitter)

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So I finally got around to watching this week’s ep — the whole thing — and it was...okay. I don’t think it packed super good characteristic/emotional punches like we’ve seen in recent weeks but it definitely spoke to Dean’s long-running low depressive self-worth (and ever-increasing queer Dean subtext via Michael’s closet!box and 14x10 closet!mind).

What stood out to me was the absence of Cas: no mention of him or Jack. And I don’t know if I should take that as solid or sloppy negative space placement by Perez or what, but there were callbacks/reduxes to Dean’s MoC arc — specifically 10x09.

Interestingly, it seemed like the infamous D/C burger date was reflected by Dean and Donna the Dean mirror’s burger meetup, with both scenarios unfolding in the same narrative context of Dean’s self-sacrificial worthlessness-induced Bad Decisions™ that altogether served as some kind of contrast for platonic vs familial vs romantic interpersonal dynamics.

In 10x09 Sam was also deceived by his brother — observe the visual Dark vs Light difference of both settings — in that Dean obviously wasn’t fine but he still cooked for him (he cooks with Mary in 14x11 as well)/successfully tricked Sam into thinking all is well. Afterwards, Dean went on his heavily Dabb romance-coded burger date with Cas.

In sombre-coloured 14x11 Sam knew Dean was visibly off, whereas Cas is...nowhere to be heard, seen, found. Dean doesn’t mention him at all either, and again I don’t know if that was just some weird lapse in writing consistency, but Perez probably intended to convey the primary negative space: that Dean can be stopped by his lover-coded best friend Cas who, indeed, won’t talk Dean out of his plan like Sam can, but would drill through the box and metaphorically/literally yank Dean out — grip him tight and raise him again from proverbial Perdition (Dean’s metaphorical/literal burial directly ties back to Lazarus Rising, and well, this is what cyclic S14’s thematically highlighted generally all season so far: the old beginning and new beginning of Dean’s first rebirth) aka Dean knew that Cas, like in 10x09, would call him out on his bluff asap. Dean knew that Cas saying “No, you’re not [fine]” could break his free resolve to go through with his self-punishing World Saving scheme.

Dean knows that Cas finding out would stop him in his tracks, because he can’t bear to feel like he’s failing him, but that’s the rub of the episode’s characteristic premise isn’t it? Dean’s Hiding-to-Protect-My-Family is paradoxically counterproductive - he’s failing them, and he’s always internalized that saying goodbye before marching off to his own death isn’t a commonality but a rarity. He almost got away with not telling Sam, and we’ll see how Cas finds out next ep (Sam’s “secret sick farewell tour” comment was accurate). I mean, these are the only logical points I can think of in terms of almost unequivocally Cas-less dialogue (seriously, where’d he go?) UNLESS, like I said above, Dean’s deliberately and consciously holding back (voila, repressing feelings and words) from bringing Cas to his own awareness so that he has an uninterrupted burial go-ahead.

***Recall that in S10 Cas was unable to follow through with Dean’s intimately-confided wish for Cas to kill him as soon as he fell MoC darkside, anyway. In fact, Dean excluding Cas entirely from his conscious functioning may be his Operation: Burial failsafe to protect his family — to protect Cas — from what could become the 10x22-reminiscent line of Michael’s fire. Yet Cas shall remain by his side. Forever, if need be, precisely because “everyone you know, everyone you love? They could be long dead. Everyone except me.” I’ll-Go-With-You Cas is the one Dean absolutely trusts.

And when Perez relays the Who Am I-linked thematic question of How Are You? Dean says:

(Sigh. This is why you must ‘die’, Dean. Break the remaining shackles of miscommunication and performativity that hinder you from TALKING ABOUT IT, from OPENING UP ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU’VE ALWAYS AVOIDED TALKING ABOUT ESPECIALLY ON THE LOVE AND...LOVE FRONT.)

What I really enjoyed were the overt naked cowboy beefcake posters in Donna’s shed that evoked Dean’s subtextual preference for dark-haired thick-bodied male cowboys a la 13x06 Cas etc. Those men?! Yep, they’re exactly your type too, Dean. Just last episode we observed the biggest Repressed Gay Hits of Dean’s subconscious/Michael’s dream construct, poised to nudge at the walls of text. Here, Dean got, uh, pretty distracted for a few seconds until he remembered that he had to “die” (literally locking himself up in his closet!box with naked Cas-representative men surrounding him and oh boy more 4x01 sparks flew during the closet!box building process: meta in meta) but I digress—

Overall 14x11 isn’t one of my faves. Dean basically revealed, more or less, what was in Billie’s Single Win endgame book, and it seemingly overhauled the very notion of Free Will and blank slates that Dean (and TFW) always embodied x. It felt disjointed in certain respects, and I hated that Donna and Mary were DiDs (come on, TPTB, get past the damselized misogyny, in all its veiled and obvious forms). Personally heart-wrenching to me though was Dean’s one-on-one time with Mary (he belittled his cooking abilities by claiming he’s a “terrible cook” *hello low self-worth*) — including his grief-tinged bologna & cheese Winchester Surprise story that almost segued into angry John memories — despite it falling short by missing the mark for true expositional discussion between them re: Dean’s actual feelings (no substantial emotive breakthrough. But yeah, I guess it should make sense that Dean’s regressed to toxic depressive behaviours and maladaptive secrecy before he metaphorically “dies” and is resurrected again).

Rating: 5/10. 6/10 if I’m being generous.

p.s. Donna was trying to ask Dean how he is, but Dean deflected during their burger outing (“Everybody keeps asking me how I am”) —> contrast to Cas seeing through Dean’s walls during burger date. And it’s intriguing that Doug comes up in conversation; her split with Doug — who couldn’t integrate into or commit with Donna’s hunting life — still affects her. It’s as if Dean’s ‘splitting up’ with Cas, which, he technically is (temporarily).

I’m sure I might have more thoughts on 14x11 later on, but this is the gist of my summary for now. Feel free to throw your thoughts around, peeps!!

And by the way, 14x12 promo has Cas saying “Stop with your suicidal plans” to whom I’m assuming is Dean. I just hope next week explains what happened to 14x11’s narrative cohesiveness at least :P

Now I’d like to call on @coinofstone‘s symbolic analysis of the books Dean chose for coffin-building :D

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