#oh god this is gonna be like writing isn't it

[star--anon]

I thought of a clicker game idea and now I really want to learn how to code

#problem is that we're using a website that's not supposed to be used for complicated stuff #so this game idea is going to have to become a side project #I think school would be a lot more successful without grades #because this coding project thing is going to be a major assignment and y'know what now I'm stressing #this is not how you get people interested in computer science #but what do I know #anyway I'm going to go think about the game that I'll probaby never learn how to code #I might meet up with a friend of mine that's really into coding over Thanksgiving break or something #and figure it out together #I really wanna play the game I thought of #oh god this is gonna be like writing isn't it #first I need to write the fics I want to read #now I need to code the games I wanna play #IS THERE NO END TO THIS #anyway it's 9:21PM and all I want to do is to be able to not go to school anymore #it isn't that school is painful as much as it is that school is boring #in fact I think school is incapable of being painful because it's so boring that my pain receptors fell asleep #each class is 1 hour and a half long #90 FUCKING MINUTES #FOR WHAT??? #TO LISTEN TO SOME ADULT STAND IN FRONT OF THE CLASS AND TALK?? #FOR 90 WHOLE FUCKING MINUTES??? #i think if school focused on HOW to teach rather than WHAT to teach then school would be at least 4% more successful #but once again: what do I know

[mattodore]

found out while putting together matthias's oc page that his name has the exact same etymology and meaning as theo's name...

i’m sure this is information matthias is very normal about…

#theo is in fact a gift from god so jot that down ! #river dipping #i've been throwing myself into oc stuff bc i'm not doing hot mentally which is... tbh when i do my best writing 😭 #none of this is new tho i wrote the bios and 'at a glance' intros months and months ago when i first made an oc page #which is why i do plan on rewriting them but for now i'm leaving them like this... so i guess the echthroi page is done? #obviously echthroi has more characters than this but i haven't taken new screenshots of everyone yet... #i put the gray cas bg back in my game a few days ago only to completely forget i wanted to take new headshots for the oc page 😭 #like these are just placeholders... i want the backgrounds to match the oc page. oh... or maybe i could just do transparent pics? #i think i remember vyx made a post abt how to do that... will look into that when i open the game again. rn i'm at my keyboard 🧑‍💻 #like i am writing new things! started a google doc for theo yesterday and have been writing on it here and there since then #i've already cried in there... lmaooo. i like oc pages for sure but i think a huge google doc is what i really need to keep track of things #i drop so much lore in tags on here and it's like! river write that down somewhere else or you'll lose it 😭 #like i fr have never actually written down any of the info i've shared on here. i've just had all this oc knowledge stored in my brain. #so i went through and copied over a tonnn of tags and posts i've made into google docs but i just know i'm missing things i've probably #said in the tags of their core tagged posts... 🧍 if my blog didn't have so many posts i'd have an easier time going through it but 🤷 #and on top of that i've been making a bunch of posts about theo and matthias on my main acc. which is like 🧍 well great now there's more #i'm gonna lose track of...... i fr have gottt to get into the habit of actually putting things down in theo's google doc!!! #i'm just trying to figure out the best way to format it all but i've downloaded a few templates that i've been messing with. #...anyway. if it isn't obvious i'm trying to get back to posting on here. i'm opening my inbox now with the intent to just. #sit here in my inbox until i can get myself to reply. lads... avpd is actually so torturous i'm not kidding. #i feel like i'm dying trying to get myself to interact with people sometimes even despite how badly i want!!!! to interact!!! #theo and me and our avoidant trauma responses holding hands and skipping around together

[singingcicadas]

Want to do a post-LL25 pseudo megarod/megop relationship where Optimus doesn’t die in the battle with Unicron but somehow gets spat out of the black hole with a reinstated body and matrix. Rodimus tries to save Megatron during the victory lap by persuading him into a sparkbond, b/c of that really common fanon trope of sparkbonds tying lives together so the death of one partner would mean automatic death for the other (it’s a myth but he’s grasping at straws here). Megatron refuses at first, saying that it’s Not A Good Idea and Rodimus would regret it. Eventually Rodimus wears him down but Megatron has no idea what he’s planning and thought it was just going to be a regular sparksharing for goodbye. 

So Rodimus seizes his chance as soon as Megatron’s spark's open, plunging the bond really really deep (way deeper than is safe). It doesn’t work, obviously, he almost drowns in Megatron’s memories of anger and hate and loss, if not for Megatron breaking them out before it got too far. But not before he got to experience some real fucked up shit of Megatron being a sadistic genocidal psyco from a first person front seat pov. And seeing the way Optimus stands out as a constant among all those years of rage-clouded carnage, first as an anchoring point for hatred, then as a source of close companionship and comfort in the Functionalist universe. Megatron is quiet and gentle when he says see, I told you you’d regret it. Now you know why I deserve my fate.

And Rodimus can’t even reply b/c he’s so shaken by the slapping reminder of the true extent of Megatron’s guilt and crimes and the inconsequentiality of his own feelings in comparison. 

Megatron leaves with Prowl but Rodimus can’t let go of him in his head. He keeps thinking obsessively over the sparksharing incident. Then he sees Optimus and has an immediate flashback to Megatron’s Functionalist universe memories. That’s when he realizes oh it’s not entirely the moral issues about Megatron’s past that’s got him all hung up. It’s jealousy. 

Here’s where the megop part is pseudo b/c it’s all in Rodimus’ head lol. They don’t actually have romantic feelings about each other, at all, in any universe. Functionalist Orion was important to Megatron but they were never A Thing. But Rodimus doesn’t know that and he’s torn between jealousy and his own loyalty towards Optimus, his anger at Optimus for not doing anything to save Megatron who clearly loves him, his logically knowing the unfairness of that anger, his recognition of the well-deservedness of whatever Megatron’s fate and his own bias and just the absurdity of his own feelings in general. He tries to visit Megatron in prison to sort things out but megatron won't see him. He wants to leave Cybertron on Thunderclash’s ship but can’t bring himself to go without knowing what’s going to happen to Megatron.

Meanwhile Optimus is just disappointed that he survived yet again and is too tired to care about anything other than his job. Everyone else is super joyous and in awe at both his survival and the restoration of the matrix, he’s the only one who’s Not Happy with the way things turned out. But he can’t say anything, not when the miracle has everyone so hopeful and united. Bumblebee is the only one who notices that something’s wrong when he starts showing physical symptoms, but there’s no way Optimus is able to tell him the truth; by that point his accumulated mental barriers of guilt and denial and subconscious self-preservation are so thick that it’s next to impossible for him to ever open up to another.

Optimus busies himself with governance stuff. he doesn’t visit Megatron. He appoints new council members and new Senators, most of whom knew Megatron as the AVL leader. Rodimus is automatically granted a seat at the council but he never shows up. Nobody’s seen him in office since the Lost Light landed, except for an endless flow of charges for illegal engex consumption, drunken misconducts and truancies. Optimus tries to contact him, tries to get Ratchet and Magnus to keep an eye on him and set him up with therapists and the like, but Rodimus ignores every attempt at contact. 

Deep down Optimus knows that those aren’t actual helpful solutions, Ratchet and Magnus haven’t been able to get Rodimus to listen forever and there isn’t a therapist left alive who can even begin to understand the stuff they’d been through, but most days he can barely bring himself to summon enough energy to do his duty as is. He can’t deal with Rodimus’ problems on top of his own. Bumblebee and Roller do the best they can but there are times when their care becomes a burden in and of itself. So he pays the fines and files away the charges, and with that also files Rodimus away to the back of his mind (as well as Megatron, he knows it has something to do with Megatron, Megatron’s always at the bottom of his grief one way or another, but that’s another thing he can’t deal with, not right now)

Eventually the Galactic Council demands for Megatron to be handed over as part of reparations. Everyone knows what’s going to happen to him if they do. Unlike the last time Optimus doesn’t have the will to make that arbitrary decision himself. He tosses it up to a senate vote.

That’s when Rodimus bursts into the room screaming

Stuff Happens and they get Megatron out on parole, Somewhere along the middle of that Rodimus’ megop misconception gets cleared. But Megatron’s time’s still ticking down cuz idk the Galactic Council really really hates his guts. Rodimus insists that it doesn’t matter, he’s determined to make the most of whatever time he can get. Megatron thinks this is just going to make it more painful for Rodimus for both of them when the time comes but after ten thousand words of angst finally decides to go along to make him happy.

Optimus would sometimes unconsciously pause to watch them with each other, the playing, the banter, the easy affection. The sometimes-exasperation and good-natured tolerence. He'd feel happy for them but also envious, not because he wants to break their ship to do megop or rodiop (is that even a ship name) but because he's wistful for the affection between them knowing it's something he'd never have for himself. Worse, he knows that he could have it in an instant if he wants to, with someone who cares for him deeply and he cares back, it's just one step away from his fingertips—but it's a step that he knows in his heart that he's too weary to take, at least in this lifetime

He swears to himself that he would find a way to ensure that their happiness lasts.

weirdest fake love triangle i have come up with ever

#this got so long i didnt even include the punch line #so basically Rodimus stans megop for the first half and Optimus stans megarod for the second half lmfao #Rodimus finds out halfway that megop doesn't exist it's all self invented #oh god all that extra angst for nothing #but he's willing to fight for megatron's life even when he believes that the person Megatron loves isn't him #and he got super mad when all he saw in Optimus was indifference #Optimus is just: can't handle being in a relationship rn thanks #no it's more like can't handle anything rn thanks #poor guy #maybe I should make it my chinese new year's resolution to actually write this #yeah right that's only gonna happen in my dreams #megarod #rodimus #optimus prime #megatron

[essektheylyss]

me: three classes is definitely A Lot but I'm doing fine, I just need to get through this quarter :)))

also me: what if next quarter I took three classes and also got involved in two research projects, one of which I'd be taking a sizable role in, and a separate research group. and what if I learned python in between terms. what then.

#if there's one thing that can't be said about me it's that I've ever lacked ambition. #it's FINE. it's fine. everything's fucking fine. I've already sent this additional email about research. don't worry about it. #one of them is more just like. drop-in meetings and the other isn't really gonna be A Thing for a while so. whatever. #ANYWAY. #I still have to write a novella. FUCK. #would love to not have a job. I could be doing literally so much with an extra 40 hours a week. I like my job a lot! #but it's not writing is the thing. I need to write. #megs vs mlis #i didn't even MENTION THE JOURNAL I'M MEETING AN EDITOR ABOUT THIS WEEK. OH MY GOD.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

how about... and hear me out... we stop reducing cole ninjago’s personality to food?

#literally so sick of it like it isn't even funny anymore #and this is at the fandom more than the show right now #like first of all - cole Clearly had an eating disorder and while that probably wasn't intentional on the writers' parts... #i mean. cole Literally started binge eating after watching his friend explode. come on. he was Never like that before s4. #and like he is Clearly at least a little insecure about it but no let's make jokes about how cole eats all the time hahaha #like the amount of times i have clicked out of fics or refused to reblog art solely because all the ninja are doing their thing and then oh #look there's cole eating cake hahaha so silly not like he's a ninja or anything :D #do better #it just infuriates me Especially since it is CANON that cole stress eats (because making fun of stress eating is so funny... show / fandom) #and he's my favorite character and it sucks to see him constantly portrayed as this food obsessed ninja who has no depth aside #from the 'there's not gonna be cake?' throwaway joke from s2 that Clearly only became a reoccuring thing because the fandom flipped out and #became obsessed with it like Yes it was funny but my God y'all have taken it to an entirely different level and the show bounced off of that #not to say that no one should ever draw or write or mention cole with food but if all you draw him with is food or if he's doing something #with food every time you write for him then you should Prolly take a step back and ask yourself why you're doing that and how you're #portraying cole as a character because he CERTAINLY has more depth than 'i love cake and also junk food tehehe protecc' #this has been in my drafts for a month and i just saw something along these lines on insta so i’m angry and posting it lol #ninjago #cole brookstone #cole ninjago

[sophiethewitch1]

wait wait i think i might have it? this idea might be it

#sophie speaks #oh my god thats actually a fun idea #its fun and sad at the same time which is my favourite type of story #life is miserable and also inherently hilarious and ridiculous #actually that might only be me but write what you know #i havent been able to say a word today but I'm all of a sudden gonna rock up on my mum like mother hello i have a new idea i must info dump #ive never been 'you dont look autistic'ed before and like. i shouldn't be laughing but oh my god it really is that obvious isn't it #i kinda wanna get even more indulgent than just fem reader i kinda wanna write a fat reader too #fat girls... fat girls... fat girls save me...

[araneitela]

My apologies for being absent!

/cracks knuckles, but I'm in the midst of typing about fear and with it, hope to make it up to you guys a little. I don't remember the last time that I've been so motivated to write meta of any kind, but Kafka makes me never want to shut up, and honestly— I feel bad when I'm sitting in Discord, with someone's DMs open and I'm sitting on my hands to prevent myself from hypothesizing, because when I don't, it's twelve paragraphs at least. So here we go, let's take my hypothesizing to the dashboard.

Can I also just... say how much two instrumental tracks scream Kafka to me and I lose my mind? I need to stop losing my mind. But this character is just everything I've craved to write for much too long, her premise, dynamics, her goal, the references and symbolism, it's so delightful and thrilling and absolute chef's kiss. Any way, in case anyone may want to know what's playing over and over and over again without stop. The romanticism of Kafka: — Table for Two — The Field

#[ ooc. ] don't try to make it logical or edit your soul according to the fashion. rather; follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly. #[ the difficult thing is that i have this feeling like i always need to be more coherent on the dashboard and sometimes certain... ] #[ 'mid-thought' ... thoughts get lost. not in translation but my head is like tony stark. 50000 thoughts at the same time. ] #[ when those little cogs of this little human being that is me start going at a million miles an hour. ] #[ and i can't write them all down in a tumblr post-- or maybe i could. perhaps i should just have a 'read more' section... ] #[ and just dump the random thoughts there if they're still there when i'm done typing or as i'm typing. ] #[ we'll see. that may actually be a really good idea of me. oh my gosh look at that. I STILL FUNCTION. ] #[ the heatwave didn't ruin me entirely. ] #[ also i'm learning to use a pressure cooker and i swear i can hear the light sound from here and i just worry-- ] #[ this thing is going to explode any minute and every minute even if it isn't. ] #[ i'm not by default or by nature an anxious individual but jesus. ] #[ this thing stresses me out. 8 MORE MINS; GOD. please hold on. 😭 ] #[ okay okay-- abel korzeniowski and i are gonna continue. see you on the flipside in like 6 hours. ]

[teaandinanity]

Am I restarting CotL again so I can take the Pit Fight ritual instead of the Wedding and unlock that in the postgame so I can marry a tsundere cat boy without anyone else asking first? MAYBE SO.

#like item 1 I wanna see if the crush chain leads to a pit fight if I'm not a marriage candidate #that sounds hilarious #item 2 it's awkward to be like 'oh. no I unlocked this ritual because eventually I'm going to fight god and then put a ring on him.' #'I understand the confusion and thank you but no' #much easier to avoid marriage proposals if our cult does not have marriage as A Thing until I wanna do it #tea plays too many games #I'm also writing fanfic about this game. somehow. somewhy. #why isn't somewhy a real word we have somewhat and somehow #anyway yeah I was like 'I want a romantic throughline with my horrible cat god-husband' #so #fic #because of who I am as a person #SHOULD I be replaying when they're gonna release a big expansion this year? #maybe not. maybe I should wait. #AM I going to wait? #uh. signs point to no.

[quietwingsinthesky]

it's dean using the hell hallucinations against sam that get to me the most. like, the amy episode, for all the other bullshit it does, sets up that dean cannot view sam's hallucinating with anything other than anger/betrayal/distrust, in a way that almost loops back around to it being sam's own fault that. Again, and i cannot emphasize enough. He Was Tortured. In Hell.

#this is bad writing. i know it is. okay because how tf do we get from that scene in the warehouse #to this otherwise. #but still. god its hard to watch. we all talk about how the show victim blames sam but oh my goddd. oh my god. #'spn has bad takes on being mentally ill' i know i know this isn't new but OH MY GOD. #sam has done literally nothing to deserve this. he hasn't even really Been visibly hallucinating in #front of dean SINCE the warehouse incident. like i would maybe get it a little more if we *saw* hallucifer about #but we just? don't? we dont. he's not here. the show is just telling us things. #ANYWAY! MAD! #dean winchester #spn #dean babygirl they are doing you so dirty and its only gonna get worse

[butchdykeorpheus]

not to be overthinking doctor who again but sacha dhawan's phenomenal performance as the master, particularly in his final moments and in his grand plan to "become" the doctor (which seems contradictory to his whole reason for anticlimactically re-murdering the gallifreyan race but that's a Whole Other Thing) implied heavily to be that dhawan!master's driving motivation may have been a desperation to not be lonely, and to achieve that through literally supplanting the doctor - who always had friends, who always has companions, who has always been the master's closest friend and enemy (and how much closer can you get to someone than becoming them???) - and you can really see this in the way he speaks to yaz after forcing the doctor to regenerate into himself, reassuring her in a fucked up way that they can still travel together, and in the despair in his face when he realises he failed and that he's one again alone

and it's low-key maddening that this interpretation is barely (if at all) carried in the actual text of the episode and ESPECIALLY maddening that dhawan!master is so heavily disconnected from gomez!master (in that, the show never even tries to address the jump from gomez!master betraying themself for the doctor's sake and dying because of it, to dhawan!master showing up as a power-hungry unhinged antagonist again) who underwent such a dramatic character shift in her arc that could have really enriched and deepened dhawan!master's own arc even as an antagonist, because what if, when the master (somehow) survived dying on that battlefield, entirely alone after just going through so much to not be alone again, he became maddened by the realisation that rediscovering that friendship with the one person in the universe who deeply understood them only made the return of their old loneliness that much more painful. and that is why dhawan!master returns to villainy, and pursues power/subordinates/the doctor's life specifically but with a new edge of manic desperation

and what if any of this had been considered in the writing of dhawan!master as a villain instead of being my generous/wishful interpretation based mostly on previous eras + sacha dhawan putting his ENTIRE pussy into that performance, i mean he was chewing that scenery up and going back for seconds

#it's 3.30am don't hold it against me if this isn't coherent #gray.txt #chibnall critical #anyway in all my criticisms of chibnall i think the master's writing is one thing that bothers me the most #because oh my god you have a powerhouse actor like dhawan #who was clearly doing So Much to make the master an over the top villain while still putting some subtlety into it #but you're not gonna give his character writing the depth to match? ok

[sluttyten]

I should definitely be listening to like horny music since I'm trying to write a gangbang write now lol but instead I've been listening to like sad music all day

#made a playlist this morning with all of the sad 1d 5sos ed sheeran little mix sad sounding songs #and i've added some shawn mendes and a few other artist's sad songs on there now too #like lmao no wonder i'm making one the members in this a kinda gloomy character #i'll probably go back and change that maybe depending on how the rest of this goes #but right now i have to put a pause on writing unfortunately and go over to family dinner at my grandparents #and this sounds awful but i really hope my one cousin isn't there because he's got... issues and i just feel like it's gonna be awkward #to see him since i know he knows that i told his mother what he did a few weeks ago which was a tiny part of a bigger problem #but like i know he's been staying at my grandparents for a few days so like.... i don't know he's probably over there right now #that little branch of the family is going through some big stuff right now (bc of the cousin) so this should be fun #this is my rant post for the day #i might answer messages while i'm over there thou #though not thou oh my god #but i've been seeing messages y'all have sent in i'm just shitty about answering them #but i promise i plan to! I'm just busy trying to write lol

[nostalgia-tblr]

Today I wrote about 900 words \o/ But only 100 of those were in the thing I wanted to add words to :( And most of them are in the wrong chapter. :( :(

#i know i need to finish the next AU chapter - just today i thought “they've been stuck mid-shag for ages. her legs must be sore by now” #but it's okay! fictional characters don't experience the flow of time when they're not being written! i assume! #i also thought “oh for fuck's sake stop wangsting [sic] about your illegitimate wean” oh no i am sick of the main plotline!!! #look as long as this next chapter is posted before march of next year i won't have broken my “longest time stuck between chapters” record #this is why many people don't read WIPs isn't it? #one scene requires the main characters to talk about their feelings for each other - URGH!!! #(but everyone who was worrying about how far AU!Sylvie is just in this for the sperms can relax as you will FIND OUT in chapter 5!) #(also i'm pretending it's making An Ironic Statement that i wrote fic about the woes of historical queens and she's not the PoV character) #(but actually i just didn't want to have to write lots of pregnancy stuff. this way i can lock her in a darkened room for much of that) #(oh god i'm so sorry AU!Sylvie the Confinement thing seemed like a good idea at the time... well no it always seemed fucked up. but.) #(and! chapter 6 makes things a bit clearer about what Unspecified Tasks AU!Loki has been doing off-screen. clue: it involves knives.) #(chapter 7 will be Mostly Filth but also a Shocking Cliffhanger!) #(and chapter 8 brings The Ending! gosh what a thrilling ride lies ahead when/if i actually finish writing this story! stay tuned!) #but no i'm gonna go now and see if i can at least get her legs into a more comfortable position #the sylki au that got longer and wronger #don't believe the hype #fic related

[wondercloud]

just discovered this obscurely underrated david character named martin lamb from a tv show back in 2018.

tell me how this fella's the prettiest guy i've ever seen in my life. he looks (and acts, just watch his scenes) like a (cute) little freak. but tell me how i fell in love with him the SECOND i saw his face. i had a whole menty b realizing how underrated he is. it genuinely hurts. and he only got like, 2 minutes in the whole show. what the hell.

he's like this perfect combination of cale, alec, and that driving instructor guy from learners, chris. what an insane combo. i am so done for. WHY DO I HAVE TO KEEP FALLING FOR SUCH OBSCURE CHARACTERS. GOD. HELP ME.

ALSO ALSO ALSO. i haven't watched the entirety of his scenes because i'm saving it for later but he seems socially anxious. HUGE social anxiety sufferer vibe. which makes this all the more personal to me. you don't get it. he's literally me i'm afraid. (actually maybe not because i haven't watched all of him yet.. he could literally be some really effed up guy so yeah maybe not..) but SO FAR, the first few minutes of his scenes have showed that he's literally just like me fr.

stay tuned for updates.

#this is probably my longest post on this silly little site lmfao #martin lamb your power #his name is martin LAMB btw #that's a little effed up on its own #no offense to the lambs out there but like #ykwim #neeways peace out #i know for sure this isn't gonna be my last post about him #i'm pretty sure i'm gonna write some fanfics abt this guy soon #i can't be the only one in love with this freak #yall should join on this suffering too #see ya next time. #oh God it's 2am here #wth martin you made me stay up this late #bad influence!!!

[burningcomputerpersona]

i had a really good idea for this assignment where i had to expand on something we learned during class and make a discussion post about it, and i got nervous writing it because i thought someone else might come up with the same idea and post it before i did

turns out i didn't have to worry because nobody else had a topic that was even remotely similar to mine, but i still live in fear of the day i end up in the same class as someone with the exact same knowledge in random topics

#in case ur wondering my topic was about roller coasters helping ppl pass kidney stones #i was SO jittery writing it like oh god everyone else is probably gonna write the same thing and it's gonna look like i copied them #but nope we're good lol #also im pretty sure a good number of students use chatgpt or something similar for these discussion posts #like they'll just say it out loud in the open like ???? #it is incomprehensible to me #like ai stuff aside maybe you shouldn't be talking about how you're cheating literally in front of ur teachers?? #but hey if ur using ai to write stuff for you i guess getting caught isn't really a huge concern at that point #anyway this is one of my favorite assignments in case you can't tell #they just tell you to write about whatever you find interesting #and the little adhd goblin inside ur brain pops up like muhahahaha this is my time #mine

[crowfeathers]

I just realized my comics prof was talking about an ingmar bergman movie earlier wtf. she totally gets me *almost never talks to her*

#might be favorite college professor. most famous too. and maybe most problematic past #ALSO while im typing diary shit here. we had our first shoot for our short film! for the media productions class #i got to use the slate again n that's like the full extent of my cooperation today. i will attempt to be more active and demanding tomorrow #because i am director of photography 🙃 #honest to god im kinda glad this is my only productions class im gonna be taking in college. i cannot do this shit every year #i chose it for fun/just needed credit (im a film minor but it isn't required for that) and heavily regretted it as i went into it #my ass belongs behind the scenes WRITING THE STORY and drafting up the storyboard. working ALONE. dictating the plot itself as i see fit #and screenwriting classes didn't fit into my schedule #being on the set is very fun it's just so fucking hard to follow what people are envisioning in their heads for a shot to take #anyways tho i encountered our actress at the bus stop an hour after we were done. asked what she'd been up to bc it was so late #and apparently she was studying in the area. and i was like. 'oh cool i just grabbed some pizza afterwards' lol

[everymlmhybrid]

reading feels like a fun hobby and is truly a joy. writing feels like i'm gutting myself in front of a crowd and they're all betting on how long until i bleed out. does this make sense.

#.txt #like i can read the lowest quality stuff and be like yeah this is alright i like it #but if my writing isn't perfect im like. oh god they're gonna hunt me down and kill me for this one. who's 'they'? dunno. but they'll do it