#now its time to game and have fun yes

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

i will never get over how FusionFall put those two together to be in a tutorial introduction, because they were both 'cool kids' of that era, but objectively Ben10 is a dorky overly dramatic cool kinda vibe while Numbuh 5 is just the coolest kid on the block but is chill about it vibe. they would indeed make a fun battle team-up

also why tf Ben just fistfights his way out of his battles when his watch aint working, use a bazooka or smth dude smh

#fusionfall #cartoon network #ben 10 #codename: kids next door #ben tennyson #numbuh 5 #abby lincoln #numbuh five #knd #codename knd #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 omniverse #is that an outfit redesign u see? yes. yes it is. im just having fun after remembering my delight for this game #now im brimming with ideas for outfits for my fav characters of this game #man if only i finished it in time for ff anniversary. that would have been cool lol. but i didnt even know it was anniversary! ;( #also just in case ITS NOT A SHIP its A FRIENDSHIP!!!! born on a battlefield for their world because they were thrown into a fight together #or more like ben is intimidated by this much younger than him knd agent because she is cooler than him and tries desperately to prove that #he is just as cool and abby is like: u might have saved universe several times and probably would have made a great knd operative but u #r such a dork mr ben 10. in other words ben wont survive the burns because abby would see through him in a second

[kate-m-art]

I get it now, I get the hype, sassy vampire man beloved andjfkmsm

#just need *somewhere* to talk cause nowhere near finishing the game yet still im act 2 but ajskdk #caved and bought bg3 its looked so cool ajdjf #been wanting to play it for a long time now but dont have the hardware but ajdkffk #just discovered geforce now and gosh what a game changer #streams the game instead and i dont think my laptop has overheated once aksjfk #but like!! #yeeeeee im having sm fun w my wood elf druid love her sm #and all the npcs and astarion beloved #feel like a little school girl w goofy smiles whenever theres a new convo w him ajskfk #and idk just like ajsjdj no one to talk to about it and usually at that point just go on youtube to listen to other people talk #but i dont want to accidentally spoil too much so ajdjfk #just sitting here a hyper giddy little mess over how much fun im having #ye anyways if ive seemed kinda mia the past week or so thats why #new hyperfixation for a while i guess but im not mad about it ajsjfk #lowkey wanna doodle characters but akdkg also wanna see how things play out first and hhhhhhhh

[cj-the-random-artist]

Solo Skizz!!  And Camel Bubbles!!

(And an assortment of other doodles ahem)

Skizz doodle because sometimes ya just feel like drawing Skizz, ya know??  Let’s be honest Skizz needs more appreciation.  He’s amazin.

Also, have this assortment of other doodles!!  Which I wasn’t going to post without a big doodle cuz I don’t normally do that.  So.  Doodles!!

That said I hope y’all are having a good day and that you enjoy this assortment of random arts and that good things happen for you today <3

#skizzleman #skizzleman fanart #good times with scar #tango tek #solidarity gaming #bdoubleo100 #smajor1995 #pearlescentmoon #not gonna fill all the fanart tags with doodles cuz i dont know that its worth my meh sketches??? #but regardless here they be for your viewing pleasure #i have decided from now until forever (aka i change my mind) that i will be drawing scar with a ponytail because yes #also sheriff jimmy is so fun to draw #and yes every time i draw him. he looks different. i dont wanna talk about it lmao #and skizz gets a few new scars in my design for him cuz i think. i think he looks cool with em #also if ya dont watch skizz streams im politely requesting that u go to one at some point because this man is a literal ray of sunshine #that is the end of my rambling in the tags i hope you enjoyed my incoherence :D

[definitelynotshouting]

Drive by bit of trivia that I think fits into your Hunger AU - Evo!Grian (pre-Watcher) was neutral in the big dispute on the server, iirc (Mafia vs Property Police) but HC!Grian (post-Watcher) ends up getting a rep for starting wars. Also, don't know if you know about Demise in HC s6, but it was kind of a precursor to the Life SMP, so you could probably use that in your fic if you want? Maybe as Grian's first "oh hey suffering tastes good" moment or something? Only if you think it fits, though.

OHHHHHH I AM GAZING AT THIS TRIVIA!!! yeah ive never watched Evo so the extent of my knowledge is what i can find on the wiki and extrapolate from other people's posts on tumblr 😂😂😂😂 so im always happy to receive tidbits about it!!!

Also 👁️ oooooh ive heard about Demise a little bit but nothing more than the name and that i think it involved collecting heads or smth??? But i could totally see that being the seed planted for the future life games-- i imagine stuff like that would be almost like LARPing in a sense, due to Player death mostly being an inconvenience, but the fear and exhilaration of being hunted down would have been so tasty. It would make sense for that to stick in Grian's brain, and give him a lowkey guiding point when scrambling to make the life series!!!

#grian #watcher grian #evo watchers #hunger au #hermitcraft #shouting speaks #grian was with the watchers for several years before he escaped so he'd already been shown the ropes of feeding #so it wouldnt be his first time finding out suffering tastes good-- but gods demise would be SO cool as a subliminal realization for him #like. its in his brain now. and yes there was fear but it was still a *game* and they were having fun.... #but of course when youre on the brink of dying via starvation your first thought isnt going to be about fun #its gonna be about what you can wring out to survive #and thus the life games are born #smth smth idk this might only make sense to me #THANK U FOR DRIVEBY TIDBITS I APPRECIATE THEM VERY MUCH!!!!! #txt

[thedrotter]

sweet sweet re:kinder community... I would like to ask y'all how you came upon the game and your experiences with it because i wanna know. im genuinely so curious to hear about other people's experiences and little opinions about this game because of how wild the game is (/pos) I'd love to hear it. do ramble to me about it

#re:kinder #not art #so in my case i once saw someone talk about it in a video and some scenes with the very vague context really struck with me #i was like wow...that is so sad... i wonder what goes on #but the thing is i watch videos talking about games like that ALLL THE TIME while im multi-tasking so i FORGOT FOR A YEAR?!?!? #until one day i was sick in pain on my bed could not move. and then it came to me. yes. “RE:KINDER. I SHOULD PLAY IT.” LIKE OUT OF NOWHERE #i will never understand how i dying of pain remembered a game i saw once BY NAME AT LEAST A YEAR LATER when jve heard of so many games #and you wanna know why it stuck with me. i saw in the video an image of the “as if id be reborn as a princess” line #i did not know the context but it was devastating #AND WHEN I PLAYED THE GAME when that scene game i was shocked to silence😭😭 BECAUSE I BASICALLY WENT COMPLETELY BLIND?? #I DID NOT KNOW THE LITTLE KID WOULD BE THE ANTAGONIST???? AND THAT HE WOULD HAVE SUCH A SAD STORY?? #like. i saw the sad coming i knew it was bound to happen yet i could have never been prepared for how hard it would hit me #I HAD TONS OF FUN but at first when i finished it i was so confused and so lost i was like welll.....what a game... TOO STUNNED FOR WORDS #then i thoughr of it for 20 minutes and bawled my eyes out and realized it was art #so when i got to my second playthrough i CRIED LIKE CRAZYYY😭😭 I WAS BLOWN AWAY IT REALLY HITS YOU #personally it admittedly hit close to home and while it made me bawl my eyes out it was also very comforting i felt very understood #AND IT WAS CRAZY FUN TOO i was not bored once the first time i played through it i was sleepy but i was so excited to keep playing😭😭 #its funnt becayse i was initially apprehensive about playing cuz im sensitive to stories where sad things happen to kids #but i played it regardless because i was like “but what if its one of those scary media that hit close to home and i enjoy” #AND I WAS RIGHT. BUT NOT ENTIRELY BECAUSE I DID NOT THINK IT WOULD HIT AS INTENSELY AS IT DID😭😭 IT WAS MYCH MORE THAN EXPEVTED #many ways in which it impacted me but if i started listing them i would not shut up . so for now it is enough #IN SUMMARY WOW.. WHAY A GOOD GAME!! PLAY RE:KINDER!!! #i rambled more than i intended to i do apologize

[seventh-district]

so was anyone gonna tell me that Neil Newbon is the VA for Astarion or was i gonna have to find that out myself when he suddenly started uploading his playthrough of the game on YT

#Seven.txt #viddy game stuff #bg3 #astarion #like??? as soon as i saw it i was like OH OF COURSE IT’S YOU!!! #like. i only have a surface level of knowledge abt Astarion from passively consuming other’s posts abt being obsessed w/ him online #but i can tell that if i ever actually took the time i’d probably be rlly into the character #okay so Full Transparency- this post and the prior few tags have been siting in my drafts for the past 12 days #and i know Neil has been uploading his playthrough since even further back but i am late to everything okay it's how i am #and anyways in that time i have watched hours upon hours of Astarion scene compilation videos on YT #and i can now confirm- yes i am Really into the character lmao. like. Severely into the character #like. i'm-making-a-playlist-for-him-and-its-already-got-50-songs-on-it level of Into Him. it's over for me boys there's no turning back #i'm fixated. there's no saving me #like i have never dungeoned a dragon ever before in my entire life but this fucking man. #this man is making me wanna drop $60 and 150gb of my PC's storage space on a game i have no idea how to play #i think it could make for a fun recording experience. but idk if i'll actually do it. i'll sit on the idea for a while first #but Astarion's existence and the sickass character creation is calling my name. i think... it could be a fun time #not like i literally even have the time to dump into a massive game like that but i waaaant to. i kinda want to #anyways Seven found a new traumatized little blorbo to fawn over everybody watch out. a reblog storm may cometh #they couldn't have cast someone better for Astarion i stg #Seven stop falling in love with the characters Neil Newbon voices/acts as challenge FAILED #lmao now i'm thinking about putting BG3 Astarion and RE8 Heisenberg in a room together. could u fucking imagine #talk about taking the whole vampires vs werewolves thing to another level #Astarion isn't a True vampire and Heisenberg isn't even a fucking werewolf and that makes it so much funnier to me #just two old fucked up somewhat non-human guys. i'm genuinely trying to picture them interacting. how would it go #anyways i have been awake for 30 hours with only a 1hr nap in the middle. and i have just eaten a sinful amount of spaghetti #and am currently riding the high of finally having posted ch4 of ES. with no big responsibilities tomorrow. and so u know what time it is #time to be insane on tumblr until i pass out

[spamtoon]

(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)

Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...

Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!

(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)

I know what you are.

Farewell, now!

(She then leaves the way she came from.)

(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)

And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...

(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)

You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?

I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.

(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)

Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way

(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)

Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.

WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.

Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever

#bright spark #<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky #the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE #SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh. #that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things. #today was an event. #i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you #to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this #is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay #nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are #honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang #spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main #cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her #own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally #i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to. #i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel #like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything #with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have-- #living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite #finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives #happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander. #that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared #to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that #respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a #method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family. #the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy #excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around. #spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much. #spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going #sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay

[keeps-ache]

DARN, missed it again! 2nd anniversary of being a they/themer :D

#just me hi #i should cue a post for next year cuz i just Keep missing it hfhsv #cool though!! two years of queer yeah babyyy #i now have it/its but they/them was where i started hehe :> #i've considered neos but you know i think they'd be a bit much for me lol #character customization Truly #//i am NOT missing this blog's birthday. proooollyyyy hghfsh #these aren't such huge things but i like to know things have happened hfsh :3 #these are two things i really only celebrate on here so i've just Gotta say it :33 #//anyway i've been listening to the radio a lot (did i say that? i think i told you that some weeks ago lmao) and it's Funnn (mostlyyy) :D #yes they play the same 15 songs over and over and i'm starting to learn all the words to even the most unremarkable ones but that's part of #the Fun :DD #been listening to it because once in a while they play a song i already have in my playlist (yayy !!) or a song that i like (which then goe #in the Playlist (yayy !!)) that and it supplies a background track to whatever i'm talking about with my siblings which is funny at times #/imagine. you've slipped up. a secret of another's you were never supposed to know was mentioned by accident. so instead of #trying to excuse yourself from guilt you admit to knowing even More. the person you're speaking to is betrayed confused and overall upset. #and you're trying to get in contact with a ghost to give you pointers. it's not great. in the background Lovin On Me is playing #that's how our games have been going hfhsvhf #/i let them play in the plots of my stories sometimes and it's So Ridiculous Dude #i've had to ban specific organs from their characters because they were being wretched little beings. it Was funny though i'll not deny hfh #they've tormented shye + weirded out oath + killed and been killed many times #there were a couple times i saw genuine horror on their faces and i am living on that i'm ngl hfhsvbhs #like the horse thing! it would take a sec to explain so i won't go into it but oh i hurt myself laughing Lolll (it was dark but it was stil #funny hfbvs) #//OH i've gtg now lol -- #ciao ciao see you somewhere later from now !! :D

[this-should-do]

Freeman has neither the time nor the patience to deal with cowards who wont do their job, especially when they stop him from doing his

#gordon freeman #half life #blood tw #idoindeeddraw #oh m y fucking gooood finally its fucking finished #is it my best work? no! do i give a crap? no! done is better than not and this was a good idea so i wanted to finish it #anyways love doing comic based on in game events #like me having a bad day and losing my patience when i couldnt get a guard to do his job so i pushed him down stairs and then #slapped him when he continued not doing his job becuz vr controls are weird and vr lets u have empty hands #anyways inifnitely fond of the face gordon makes right before he slaps this poor guard lol #like please dont make it at me but do it again its a good look #also loving the concept where if this follows the black mesa series of events this guard gets beat to shit by aalien grunt after gordon #goes thru the door to get chased down by a goliath lol #anywyas please enjoy my desperate effort to finish a project thats been sittin gopen in krita for almost 2 months now lol #going insane with relief #but ye as much fun as makin gordon feel sad and alone and pathetic #it is equally as fun to make him have sum moments of not being a perfect victim son #hes ruthless and sumtimes u gotta be a lil forceful to get to ur goal so u gotta be a lil bad #cant be perfect all da time its just not fun #and its also simply unrealistic for everyone of these cops to be willing to follow everytime cuz like (gestures to real life in frustration) #but yeah angry gordon very good concept #peace out im gonna go eat the freeze dried bananas i promised myself as a reward for finishing this comic lol

[xamaxenta]

Thinking about someone i blocked that bothered me for about two monthsish last year bc they kept messsging me underhanded or backhanded comments abt literally anything i did on this site, specifically they liked to attack my lack of understanding of the basics of art and that i clearly didnt study the classics enough (??? What are those? This is subjective?) and i wonder if they’re happier this year i gotta commend them for not doing this behind anon, ballsy tbh but unwarranted

#xam ponders #new tag for meaningless stuff thats not edgy like xam scream or whatever #that person was . odd #im not in any of this art hobby to study shit #i look consume learn like that apply it next time if i remember #they tried to pass it off as constructive criticism but the thing is is i never asked for any i know im not amazing at this but i do #want to have fun #idk that interaction definitely. fucked with me mentally for a while and now i feel safe enough to just unload it a bit #bc this place is my unhealthy venting dumping ground #block xam scream or xam ponders if u dont wanna see me complaining all the time ha #im sleepy but i just thought about this and how i felt abt it back then vs now #sucks that it left such a impact i do this for free and the stuff i do sell i will always try go bring my a game #foolish to dwell on negative comments? yes probably but its never easy to forget negative comments yknow

[rivaiin]

i finally sold my old tablet that i didnt use anymore and got 85€ for it so guess who has money to get armored core now. hehe

#yes yes i know what ive said about fromsoft games in the past but listen #i eventually settled into trying out sekiro and it was instant love it just clicked for me and i was honestly having the time of my life #until i got to ashina castle and my pc #that doesnt have working gpu drivers cause windows decided to install the generic ones over my good amd ones (i cant fix it ive tried) #just couldnt handle the new area or something idk #i started getting massive frame drops that made the game almost unplayable #and then the controller i use on my pc got a Lot of drift literally overnight #so yeah trying to do the genichiro fight with an average of 20 fps and stick drift wasnt fun at all #i did do the miniboss thats on the well from the start of the game and a few attemps on the seven spears guy #but at that point the drift was just too bad and i had tried a new fix for the drivers thing #and when i attempted genichiro again the game just crashed #so yeah #i Could play sekiro on the xbox but im not paying for a 4 year old game that got its price hiked #and runs at 900p and 30 fps on a new gen console cause the developers refuse to patch it <3 #ill pirate again once i get a new pc sometime next year #Anyways all of this was to say i do sort of get fromsoft games now and ac looks fucking incredible #and it has a pause screen just like sekiro which is a must for me cause i enjoy being able to go pee without having to hide first

[fragmentedblade]

I've been reading about xiangqi a bit and now I'm even more obsessed with that one video of Jing Yuan

#Obsessed with the fact they made a point of him not leaving the palace #Anyway I was rewatching this because I still find very amusing that you can see when he steals that piece from the board #Which is something that makes I think more sense considering the ways in which you can check and win in this game #It seems pretty fun actually I think I'll try. Maybe with this being different this time I'll be able to convince someone to play with me #No one wants to indulge me when it comes to chess and I don't like playing online #Hmm actually this game seems less unpleasant to play non physically based on aesthetics #With chess I always have to take out a physical board and it's sort of annoying. The pocket chess I carry around is not much better #Yes I think I'll give xiangqi a try. And look for good books about it and its evolution. I hope I find something #It's always so hard to find things worth reading about topics like these. Like with fencing. Still unsure about what I got about that #After rewatching the video again I have half a mind to make gifs to keep track of his moves. I just really find it very amusing #I love how the move and what is happening in the rest of the video work with what we see him do in the actual game #Personality wise yes but strategically #I think I actually rambled about this in a post a few days ago? Oh wait that was in my main blog I think #I don't know why I make sideblogs if I end up reblogging the posts in the main after all. I always do the same thing #I'll stop now but oh I am really so so fond of him. I think I could talk for hours haha #I talk too much #Jing Yuan #Right now it doesn't seem to appear in the general tag for me but I'll check in a bit again #I really don't know how to organise my rambles anymore with this feature #I miss the five tags thing #Now no matter how much I talk it seems the general tag will always find my posts

[vivit-s]

Menace for the color palette thing!

Re: Color Palette Ask Game

Toyed around with who I'd use for this one since you didn't specify a character, ended up with Sam since his palette fit best. He IS a menace to society honestly so it fits I think.

And surprise I am using this ask game as an excuse to divulge some snippets about these guys concerning whatever I end up illustrating, which means I get to talk about my absolute favorite subject (not even being sarcastic, I LOVE writing for this guy), which is Sam's very. Very. messed up worldview!!!

I just think a lot about the mental gymnastics he went through to convince himself that what he'd done is not his fault while at the same time feeling absolutely guilty about it. He views the event as proof of his worst anxieties, a confirmation that he is the deeply horrible person he fears he is, but at the same time doesn't actually believe himself to be responsible. He didn't plan on killing Rose, it just happened. It was a complete accident and isn't the overwhelming guilt he feels everyday enough proof that he truly didn't mean to do something so awful?

He's a very silly guy I think.

#doodles #tw blood #tw murder #ask to tag #ive actually been forcing myself to think a lot about the subject #trying to get back into the groove of writing since I'd stopped writing short stories since I stopped working on dayscape #one of act 2's main plotlines follows the. very. not good relationship btwn sam and his kid. #yes the kid still exists i didnt forget about the baby guys it was FORESHADOWING!!! #anyways rammifications of learning ur parent was a whole murderer its not fun #urge to not spoil act 2 versus needing to talk about samuel our friend continuing his downward spiral in being a horrible person #and how it culminates in being a HORRIBLEEE parent #i have so many feelings ok this is what happens writing 9k words of this #and counting im not done at ALL #okay sorry ill shut up now i think these tags r longer than the main post itself oops #sorry dear asker this is what happens when i think about this man for any prolonged period of time #ask game

[sparkedupsilver]

have some chocolate mousse cake! i hope you feel better soon. the apathy part of the backsliding sucks so much.

Thank you my dude I needed this so bad, that looks delicious and I hope you enjoy! Thankfully the 3am messaging this morning was part of me getting my mojo back, so hopefully you'll see the fruits of that labour soon 😅

#love you dude #ALSO ITS LATE WHERE YOU ARE PLS REST #in good news tho im trying to ve more positive generally #like yes i have an essay in next week thats gonna kill me BUT. i just need to scrape a pass. #and im running a dnd game for the first time tomorrow so hopefully thats fun :D #everything's gonna be okay y'know #in three months time i'll be 21 and seeing hozier live. that shits dope. #the internet friend i've had since i was 11 (!!!) is now only a train ride from me. how cool is that? #trying to break through that apathy bit by bit yknow #sorry this got rambly but THANK YOU AGAIN #i hope you're doing good and even if you're not that you can see the good things coming 💚 #nate talks

[dexaroth]

i know its unrealistic and nonsense to feel bad bc im not as good as i could be within a hobby bc a hobby is supposed to be fun and occupy your time but i cant for the life of me not feel guilty about not drawing and not improving

like.. i have most of the resources. i often have the time. i have almost a thousand pictures in my reference folder to be used to practice and learn. i have an internet connection to be inspired and learn from those better than me and yet... i just don't feel like drawing. and i mean drawing something grand.. not just the dozens of doodles and oc refsheets i keep churning.. i want to do standalone pieces like i used to and look at them fondly and feel proud of something. but i just dont have the flame to do it for months and months on end

i mean obviously this is much more likely to happen when it has been your primary hobby for over like 7 years contrary to, say, webpage coding which i just started to learn like a year ago. what's keeping me from wanting to draw though? its so frustrating to know you Have the Potential to be a good artist and knowing How you could become more but just.. not feeling like it. and telling urself im gonna draw tomorrow and tomorrow comes and its one of those days you'd rather stare at a wall the whole afternoon and it just keeps going and going and you stay stumped

#yes i have the potential to do so much better than what i can show you right now dude trust me #not only for personal reasons but i also want to start looking into doing commissions for real and like. #thats insane #idk what to draw > set up comms so someone gives me smn to draw > they dont know what i can draw > idk what to draw > repeat #im also like the guy that loves giving gift art but ive had so many cases where i drew for a rando and they just. treated it like a product #sold along the character like cool! so glad i spent my time into a drawing for you to throw it into your garage sale like everything else! #and that looming fucking awful sense of 'originality' like boohoo someone drew this already waaaa i dont believe in originality why do i > #> care so much. Why. its like knowing there isnt a monster under ur bed and still suffocating yourself inside the bedsheets. nonsense... #this is so tiring. not drawing to me feels like neglecting a dear friend #even though i dont feel bad at not practicing at a game. at not knowing how to code everything in 2 days #at not knowing the best clays to sculpt or the best knitting tricks. #bc its a fucking hobby. i should feel obligated to do it i should have fun when i want to and yet i chain myself to it #i shouldn't fell obligated* oop #could you imagine how crazy stupid it'd be that a construction worker felt bad for not building some lately #WHY AM I LIKE THIS!!! I DONT GET IT!!! #dextxt #<its always funny to end a post with a cry and then have it followed by lowercase txt tag like teehee just another white guy moment #but i do mean im tired and frustrated and miserable for nothing.. war and hate on planet earth or whatever. *explodes*

[neptunite-stars]

hgrhgrhg work on big [redacted] project or play h.sr........

#i didnt take a midday nap i actually just slept for another 2 hours after eating breakfast #and do i feel less sick? yes actually i feel fine but i do feel kinda sore bc i slept in a weird position #which is normal for me actually surprisingly enough #rambles #i havent worked on [redacted] in 3 ish days egads. i need to stop making excuses for myself i really need to wokr on it #but i have sooooo much time....................... and im basically almost halfway done with it. i could finish that by the end of this mon #h and then work on [redacted] for [redacted] too and i also had [redacted] for it as well so i mean theres no harm right #i could.......... if only i stop feeling like shit every day for different reasons #urghrghrgh i feel a lil sick... stummy hurt and nose keeps running ughhhhhhhhhh i should not have gone outside < thinks its allergies #honestly tho h.sr is only gonna take like 20 mins MAX bc the quest thing for the shop management gameplay is TIMELOCKED im soooo upset by t #at by the way also i hate how it intterrupts my gameplay with sidequests PLEASE . ok ik that it makes it more fun and less boring/. #i should play a shop management game again. like ykno those ones on like coolmathgames. egads theyre sooo addicting to me theyre like candy #ok but i also have to play the tour for eng.stars adn btw IM NTO READING SATELLITE UNTIL ALL THE STORIES COME OUT so i can binge read them #egads. i was supposed to farm 3 hours ago and now my 2nd farming session is coming up in a couple of minutes except i slept thru the first! #ok but i NEEDED that sleep its fine. its fine ill farm it all now its fineeeeeeee