#not everything because they're like 12

[torra-and-the-toons]

The credit sequence of D.I.A.P.E.R. is so funny, I can't 😂😂

#torra rambles #torra rewatches knd #might i reiterate I have the humor of a teenage boy #idk the 'where do babies come from' episodes are funny to me #a cringe but funny combo #i like to imagine abby did tell them some of the truth #not everything because they're like 12 #but she probably knew they were born from their mothers (and NOT hatched from eggs Nigel...) #which is why everyone is so -shocked face- #and maybe that their fathers has SOMETHING to do with it but they don't know what exactly #a few years down the line when they get 'the talk' they have the same reactions lmao

[ruvviks]

Mikhail and Vitali were inseparable; when they weren’t studying or getting into fights, they would hang out at Mikhail’s place to smoke and get drunk on cheap rum and vodka, to then pass out in each other’s arms and sleep most of the next day away. They promised each other— no matter what would happen— they would never leave each other’s side. Yet after starting university and college respectively, they did not see each other for a little over six years, leaving them both heartbroken and wondering what went wrong.

by lucas expedidor // catch me if you can; eden // clementine von radics, from 'courtney love prays to oregon' // sam sax, cruising: a broken tiara // 'ceramic home' by heavensghost; quote from john murillo // 'something's changed' by laiikastears // i don't want to watch the world end with someone else; clinton kane // fortesa latifi, from 'the truth about grief' // audre lorde, the evening news // frank o'hara, biotherm (for bill berkson) // heading home; ruben // 'preface to a dream' by alessandra casini // tokyo; caroline kole // langston hughes, poem // haruki murakami, norwegian wood // julie buntin, marlena // by lute // by aleksandr popov // anyway; noah kahan // christa wolf, cassandra: a novel and four essays

#cp2077 #edit:mikhail #edit:vitali #nuclearocs #nuclearedits #happy birthday to my two boys :^) yes they share the same birthday what about it. it's essential to their whole. thing #whatever it is. they're like soulmates but also they are NOT dating. i need you to understand that. because it makes everything funnier #you guys remember when i first introduced them here and people thought they were together. good times honestly #but yeah no vitali is officially dating vincent and mikhail is just their eternal third wheel. their relationship can't be defined #they also reunite of course but i LOVE emphasizing their grief. they didn't know they'd ever see each other again #and they've known each other since around age 12. imagine spending almost every day with someone who CHOSE you #and then suddenly not seeing them or talking to them for YEARS. what do you do with that grief. that pain #sure they've found each other back but what do you do with that. where do you put it. it makes me insane!!! #they both were so lonely in their own way. vitali getting lost in vices and crowds but ending up all by himself at the end of the day #and mikhail drowning himself in studying and pushing himself far over his limits just to distract himself from the hole in his chest #night city in my head is much more massive than what it feels like in game. like yeah it feels big but not. BIG big #and i think mikhail and vitali's story and them losing contact while only a district apart really emphasizes how like #how HUGE this city is not only in terms of actual land it covers but also just. how overwhelming it is. how it can swallow you whole #anyway if you've read all of this hi. wanna make out

[lunarharp]

Very important conferences.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #some real serious discussions goin on in this atelier today. dont u doubt it. #agott is the only one who has ever thought about this because she is a 12 year old lesbian and UMM..FRIEND? LIKE FRIEND? IS THAT..LEGAL??? #this is all i drew today because silly things like this take hours lol. at least it's practice for poses -_- #i got the pattern of the girls' dresses wrong but i couldn't be bothered to change halfway through. #don't worry if you're like what is the naakiwan downs. is that name even mentioned in the main manga #ANYWAY i KEEP thinking about what if it's actually banned for professors and watchful eyes to date like that would make a lot of sense. #like maybe it should be banned. SO??? are they just low-key Aware of what the deal is and they're just Putting their feelings aside #until graduation??? take my tassel as an unspoken reminder of how i feel?? living together trial period?? this feels like it's truly it #When we're free to be together........ Sensei loves homophobia parallels without there actually being homophobia #Let's invent reasons why men cant be together. Ummm well whatever. i'm screaming in my head but it's fine. #this will probably form the theme of my orufrey for a while. i've thought of this before but for some reason today it's big for me. #i guess the tassels might not specifically be a part of that since they exchanged them before tower of books #and qifrey made his mysterious decision to be a teacher after that and..well whatever. I need more of backstory and just..everything? #But i also don't mind when vinanna interrupts my wishes with just a chapter of just being really dreamy? I love witch hat?

[buttercupart]

determined humans

#undertale #ut #chara dreemurr #frisk dreemurr #kris dreemurr #chara #frisk #kris #utdr #Ok so to be clear this is them like. post pacifist #ISH because i HC that undertale happened when Frisk was 10 #and Chara was 12 at their passing #and Frisk is 12 when them and Alphys resurrect Chara. so they're the same age when Chara comes back #which is weird because then theyre in the same grade but Asriel is a little older because he came back a year prior #so chara already is feeling Miffed by everything and then . Toriel up and adopts a new human kid #who is the same age Chara was when they fell #its a lot for them to come back to a world far different than the one they remember #where it seems everyone has happily moved on in their absence. like they never existed at all #with other people now filling the roles they used to. why are they back when no one needs them? #they're not sure. they're not sure they ever WILL be sure #my art #references

[running-in-the-dark]

I'm just so annoyed with myself

everything's fine. everything's good, even! I'm having a nice time painting stupid things and watching the x-files. awesome!

then. all of a sudden everything is just sooo bad again. like come on! I'm tired of this. it feels really bad. like. it goes from "everything is fine" to "guess I should just die" from one moment to the next.

#I'd like to have SOME time to do things during the day. I slept for over 12 hours again so I haven't been awake that long. #and I've only been painting for 3 hours. so why can't I keep doing that 😭 #fuck everything #I'm gonna think about jenkins until I feel better. unless that makes it worse. that happens sometimes. #ughhhh I'm so miserable rn. #and the stupid things I'm painting aren't actually stupid. or things. because they're all john larroquette. of course. #just wanna keep doing that 😭😭😭 #personal

[birdmenmanga]

who was gonna tell me someone put up a birdmen video essay 8 months ago

#birdmen #interesting takes here! not sure I agree with everything but it IS a 12 minute video essay about birdmen #I think it's really funny that this person's big criticism of bm is the fight scenes not being that good which. like yeah #it isn't ABOUT fights the way kekkaishi was about fights #tanabe's goal wasn't 'what is the most riveting fight I can create' but rather 'how can I use blackouts to further our characters' #which naturally ISN'T going to result in the most exciting fight scenes because it's not ABOUT it #HOWEVER! I recognize that having Good and Riveting Fights IS an important component of most sci fi shonen stories #so like yeah. reason number 124325 birdmen is more seinen aligned than shonen aligned #also abilities being underutilized? yeah I totally feel that. but I don't think you can really say that the story is about abilities either #but yeah I think I agree with most of the things they said about birdmen's good points #like yeah! it's realistic. there's a good reason that they're schoolkids and their personal story arcs ARE about coming of age #it IS about not being alone and finding that you have more in common with your neighbor than you believed #I had more thoughts but I lost them lol #Youtube

[rapha-reads]

Gonna be totally honest, I don't get how anyone can feel actual dislike towards Thirteenth and series 11-12. Indifference, yes, hatred/dislike? Why?

Edit: aaaand this got long, like most of my DW rants. Settle in, grab a cup of tea, a... Handful of dirt.

I just rewatched Praxeus and Can You Hear Me (12x06-07) and they're so interesting? So refreshing?

Edit: I'm mostly talking about Praxeus here because that's the aspect I want to develop, but Can You Hear Me is also very interesting to discuss in regards to another aspect of the show, less meta and more narrative. We'll get back to this later. Maybe.

First, Segun Akinola's score is beautiful. I already talked about it in another one of my posts (that I'm not going to look up now otherwise I'll be up til dawn), but it's subtler than Murray Gold's, but still very present and atmospheric. It's melancholic, and metallic, and ethereal, very 2020s, which totally suits Thirteenth. She's very paradoxical, Thirteenth, she's both very present and very distant, exactly like the music that surrounds her. I feel like this gif below, from Praxeus, describes rather well the feelings Akinola's music incite. The sort of wonder and nostalgic anxiousness at the beauty, force and fragility of planet Earth.

Secondly, the storylines in general are so much more... I wanna say heavy, but not in a negative or literal way. Heavy, as in, they get you to places in your psyche that you hadn't considered before, or in a long time. Which is something that Doctor Who has always done, by the way. But the feeling I get from having watched 2 episodes of Eleventh, one of Twelfth and 2 of Thirteenth in 3 days, is that previous narratives don't want to be too explicit about what they're about.

I'll explain. Praxeus talks about pollution, of the planet and of our own health. Other DW episodes have talked about that theme (though I cant think of one right now), but always in a manner that lets the viewer be reassured/distracted by the scifi elements. Praxeus is direct, and real. And I know what the critics are, "it's so preachy, it's so paranoid, bla bla". But... It's not? It's the actual reality? And what is science-fiction if not putting in the light our reality? What is Doctor Who if not a show about humans and Earth, at its core? And yes, maybe it's much more direct than before, but I invite you to look around you, look at the 21st century, look at these first years of the 2020s. The time for subtlety and gentleness is long gone, direct action, direct call to what must be corrected is what's needed.

And that's the strength of Doctor Who, I think, its adaptability to its time.

#doctor who #dw #dw series 12 #thirteenth doctor #13th doctor #jodie whittaker #dw meta #dw rant #rapha is being a whovian #praxeus #segun akinola #i'm going to finish rewatching series 12 and then i'll rewatch series 13 #because i am ENJOYING it and 13th is a delight and yaz is my depressed lesbian sister and i adore them #and it's actually making me sad seeing people hate on them #maybe there are some weak episodes but that's not new - go back to look at the first seasons of new who - there was some bad there too #and it's not the writing. it's not a question of bad writing. it's just not. #my opinion is that people don't want to acknowledge that doctor who has always been about the hard truths of the universe in general and #our human western society of the 20th-21st centuries in particular and they're mad because now the writing is making it clear #but like. the very FIRST episode back in 1963 was about humans learning to use and make fire and starting some fires on the way #if that's not telling you everything you need to know about the show... i don't know what to tell you anymore #anyway this is getting super long #whovians i invite you to INTERACT with my rants it feels like y'all are sleeping #what's going on why are you as a collective fandom not liking meta discussions? #doctor who is such a perfect show for meta and literary analysis come talk to me

[mccleans]

#spent all day helping my best friend move into her new flat #and it was really lovely to be able to be there for her and help her unpack and set everything up #bc her bf (one of my other flatmates) is going travelling for a couple of years in march so obvs he's moving out and they're breaking up #which is why SHE had to move out bc she couldn't afford the rent on a double room by herself #and she's only just moved down the hill like literally a five minute walk which is obviously amazing #she's not ages away yk #and she's moved in with our mutual friend which is nice too #but on a selfish note now i'm left behind in a flat with four 20 year old couples #and i'm now the outside friend like i'm the one who has to go home yk rather than being the one in the home #and i'm just dreading being alone so much of the time like cooking dinner alone and coming home from work and being alone etc #and i'm worried as well that in the new flat they'll get really close and i'll be like forgotten about and left behind #and i know this is all catastrophising and mind reading and all those therapy phrases #but it just sucks. it really sucks #i had to walk home in the rain just now up the hill at half 12 at night #and i cried the whole way because it just all sucks so bad #i knoooooow obviously there's worse problems in the world there's people that are dying kim etc etc #but i'm just very sad about it right now. very very sad about it #so it's 1am and i'm going to sleep and i will wake up at 4am for the match and arsenal better fucking pull through for me #goodnight love u all sleep well appreciate the people in ur life x #also i mean two 20 year old couples lol i don't have eight flatmates

[aberooski]

If I have another breakdown at work tomorrow like I did the last time I worked a Saturday I'm going to kill myself because last time I screamed in the hallway and cried so hard I was shaking because of how stressed I was.

#working at the movie theater sucks I hate people so much #I also hate that the movie theater was the best I could do even with a fucking degree because I've never had a job before #and I haven't even been there a month and I'm already the most fucking competent usher we have #i have to do fucking everything and I'm the only one keeping us on track every fucking day #also the only other ushers I actually like aren't the ones I consistently work with and tomorrow I have to work with the one that I hate #they literally do not pay me enough for this shit #anyway I'm back to considering opening art commissions becauae as I said they don't pay me shit and I really do need the extra money #also another reason I'm pissed about working tomorrow is that I have to miss christmas cookie baking at ny grandma's and that's one of- #-my favorite traditions every year. I'm actually very upset about it I might cry about it at work tomorrow. #alao they're making me come in at 10 am when all the other ushers don't start coming in until like 12 and the first theaters don't let out- #-until like 11:40 so there's literally no point in me being there that early other than to just piss me off #I'll take the extra like fuxking 20 bucka those 2 hours will get me but fuckibg seriously? I know I'm technically available- #-which is probably why but all it's gonna be is me making sure our usher cart is stocked then sitting around for an hour and a half #fuck everything #I fucking hate that this is my life this is awful #I can't have literally anything can I? #abby after dark #abby's having a crisis

[strozzaprete]

not to be morbid on main but my life is so strange every day i'm fighting with my inner suicidal child trying to convince her to stay alive out of spite for our enemies

#this entire year ​i've been forced to relive past trauma -> which i'd been able to finally process but it doesn't involve just me #so basically i processed it but my family hasn't and they keep putting the blame on me for everything and guilting me for it #even though i was a literal child. in short the fact that i ''acted out'' by running away from abusive situations was and still is worse #than the actual abusive situations i was put in. as a child. #so like... i can forgive and understand and empathize with my past self at last (instead of feeling suicidal like i did for years) #but if nobody else in my close family circle does then i have to essentially stay strong and remind myself that they're wrong #point is that when i was 11-12 i would react to the emotional and physical abuse by basically putting myself in dangerous situations #and attempting suicide a couple of times lmao. staring at the train tracks every other day #because the fact that they beat me was NORMAL for me (my mom told me that i was 2 the first time my dad hit me) #and they were acting like i was (i quote) ''bipolar'' and mentally ill and acting out out of nowhere and i couldn't fully understand why #i was doing certain things at the time. so i put the entirety of the ''blame'' on myself. and later on my mom would make me feel guilty #about it for a decade to win arguments -> which almost every time start with her gaslighting me until i start crying and yelling so then she #can call me crazy. and she can make ME feel crazy so i won't take her accountable. so she avoids taking responsibility for her actions (past #and present). i finally realized this when i told her that one of the most traumatic events of my life was when she found some smoking #filters in my drawer (she used to go through my stuff all the time) that i was LITERALLY KEEPING FOR A FRIEND and she dragged me out on the #balcony by my hair and beat me. she would beat me in public places all the time to humiliate me. even my school friends remember this #and she said 1) ''it didn't happen'' and 2) ''i don't remember'' #so that's that. either i'm crazy and i fabricated the memory out of nowhere... or she's not taking responsibility for her actions. #and like... I KNOW it happened. but i'm very sensitive to gaslighting (as she does this all the time about other things as well) #and sometimes i literally have to hug myself and rock back and forth and essentially try to convince myself i'm not crazy #that's the situation i'm in rn :) cool #thank god the therapist moved my appointment to tomorrow because i'm about to implode or perhaps ask for money in advance to purchase drugs

[quilleth]

What the fuck do you mean it's only 10:30 am?

#quilleth in real life #ohhh today is just going to be one of those shitty days isn't it #power is out at house and has been for 12 hours now #so i had to come to the office. which is also having issues #had to buy food because obvs not going to risk the fridge food at home #and now they're doing some kind of construction in the room next door #and i cant go home to get away from it because there's no power so no Internet and i need it for my job #fml seriously #going to need to go out after work too to replace all the food from the fridge #which i needed to get groceries but didn't think I'd need to get *everything* #and my husband isnt feeling well so ill havr to drop him off first and hes probably not going to be up to cleaning the fridge #so I'll have to do that too #and its only 10 fucking 30 so im stuck here for like 6 more hours

[perdidit-vulpes]

thinking about all the ocs that’ve gotten abandoned because they remind me too much of her. lmao. lmao! lmao

#haruka kusuma åsa and llyr #and then all of my genshin ocs because of how much i've fallen out with genshin BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME OF HER #i started playing with her !!!! i was the one that got her into it !! i carried her through AR55 !!!! #this was the game that brought us so close !!!!!! god it fucking hurts to keep playing because everything reminds me of her #i was finishing the s.umeru archon quest last night and was hit with the memory of playing the 1.1 event reconciled stars and the #s.caramouche kissery that came with that !!!! i remember her first s.caramouche kisser arc !!! i was there !!! I HAD A SCARA KISSER ARC #we abbreviated his name to scar before scara was popular we sent each other edits on instagram and holy fucking shit there were so many #scara suck it up maretu edits i listen to maretu still and every time that song comes on it reminds me of him and consequently her #tighnari reminds me of her because he was her bias briefly (and it was awkward for me because of how intertwined my identity was with him) #tears of tianqiu reminds me of her !!! that one early game open world quest in tianqiu valley liyue because it took her 10 days to complete #and she was co-op locked the whole time so it was just me her and gigi in vc with her in a separate world for several hours a day #she was a chongyun main a beidou main the last time i played with her she was ayaka and we were running around watasumi island together #and kokomi because she ran with sara and sara because she liked her and itto because ittosara and ei and the raiden shogun because she hated #when sara was shipped with her and raiden mei because they're the same girl and yae miko and inazuma island in its entirety because while we #didn't co op i'd talk to her about it a lot and i'd frequently spend 12+ hours at a time playing genshin #and the fucking electro sheer cold in the forge because she mentioned she LIKED that mechanic it was like sheer cold to me it was comforting #it felt like home. yknow. #dragonspine my favourite reigon ever ever ever #because she explored it with me!!! 1.2 release night she and i and gigi were all there running around in her world because gigi and my wls #were above hers and it was fun and i loved it that was the peak of existence to me and every day i chase that high again and i fell in love #with the mountain because of how much time we spent there together. and it was so lore-rich for back then and i was super invested in lore #before they started retconning everything because i loved the game because i loved her !!!!!!!! my love of the game is because of her #it always has been !!!!!!!!!!! #god i miss her

[loveofastarvingdog]

AND THEN

#OF COURSE AS IF I COULD FORGET. the different translations and the times of trouble. of course #and esv saying there shall be a time of trouble and nasb saying there will be a time of distress #BUT THEN. ceb saying it will be a time of distress #and this is where i become paranoid about my professor being on destiel gay sex tumblr and seeing this BUT WHO CARE !! #anyways the interesting difference in presentation in terms of establishing the times as difficult #like esv and nasb make it seem like it will come about but ceb makes it sound already established in a sense #ALSO ALSO ALSO something i didn't explore as it wasn't quite as relevant BUT the book mentioned in daniel 12:1 #and how i KNOW it's referencing a specific book (the book of life i think) but how it says everyone who is Found written in the book #(or scroll depending on translation) #and to ME the ''found'' is so so interesting #like. everyone who is found written in the book #where else is this book mentioned!!! i don't care about the desolation of the abomination anymore i want to study the various biblical #passages that mention and explore this book #and NO it's tooootally not because i love the paradox of choice versus the omniscience and omnipotence of God ...... totally.... #if he already knows who will be saved and shit and set everything into motion then HOW can it be a choice??? #and of course the difference of size in infinities #if there is the perfect amount of space for the people who choose to believe then if one more person believed there wouldn't be enough #space except for of course the fact that god would know and there would be space #if you have a motel with infinite rooms but you also have infinite peoplethen all the rooms will be full EXCEPT #they can't all be full because they're infinite except of course you have infinite people so they are all full #but that doesn't matter anyway because the motel doesn't have a pool so we weren't going to stay there anyways #we'll go to the inn and suites across the road #timothy's txts. #WHO KNOWS WHAT I'M SAYING. NOT ME. i just say shit for funsies #tw caps #tw swearing

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Hmm. I'm just now remembering how stressful moving is.

#it's expensive. it's fast-paced. it's a lot of planning #I'm moving across the damn country. i want to hire movers because it's terrifying to rent a uhaul #they should not let anyone rent those. you should need a specific license for a uhaul #anyway i want to hire movers to get that shit across the country for me BUT I'm afraid they're gonna be hella expensive #and I'm going to have no money at the time that i move #so if i can't hire a mover. I'm just gonna pack anything i can fit into the two cars that are going. and abandon the rest #which would suck because ive collected a lot of shit in my time here #so I'm kind of looking at my belongings like 'hmm do I really need that?' #and it would be nice to have a reset but also like. that's my stuff #and i have to get everything clean. because I'm going to work at a summer camp. and then two weeks later I'm moving #so before i go i need to get everything clean and ready to go to save myself some stress #but cleaning is hard. I'm trying to marie kondo my stuff. decide if i want to sell donate or trash #it's not easy. none of it is easy. i forgot how stressful moving is. and last time i moved i only moved 40 minutes away!! #now I'm moving 12 fucking hours!!!!!!! #i have my best friend and my gf to help but god. this is a lot #wish me luck

[raveartts]

I find myself getting jealous that ai art is so pretty and I'm not nearly as good as it, then I remember that ai art is just a conglomeration of stolen art from talented artists so who cares it's not special, and then I remember that those talented artists are so much better than me anyways and I get jealous again and-

#rave ramblees #I may or may not have issues #no one is allowed to be good at art except for me #it's so unfair I hate the world I hate everything #even the computers are better than me and they know nothing more than 1s and 0s #some days I remember that my drawings are mediocre at best #and people only like them because they themselves don't draw so they can't see everything it's lacking #making every compliment I ever get completely void because lmao what do they know #I've had people compliment literal scribbles (like. actual pen scribbles resembling nothing) #because they thought I'm sooo artistic #so if they'd compliment that then they're clearly lying about liking any of my actual drawings right #I'm crying and throwing things my mediocrity makes me want to throw up #and why do I even fucking try when everyone's so much better than me and I'll never be as good as them #I improve at a snail's pace and my brain is too stupid to comprehend anything more complex so I'm forever stuck even on the simplest things #pretty ai art needs to die #talented artists need to fucking die too #I love your art but I hate your existence <3 #also curse all the goddamn 12 year olds who are somehow miles ahead of me I literally hate you so much

[pointsfortrying]

-

#rye rants #vent #actually no im going to keep talking to myself gjskg #i rly!!! rly rly hate #the like #culture??? #of shaming kids??? #like. #again in the assumption that they're stupid or evil or etc etc and also in like #jokes when you're calling some random adult who's incredibly awful or bigoted a 12 year old or something and like. i #get it ofc i do its just a joke except God that shit caused me So much anxiety when i was like 10-16 #and just ppl are getting exposed to the internet when they're young and we all know this except its rly just. doesnt feel like ppl #are allowed to be young and like minors constantly claiming that they're old enough or responsible enough or mature enough and just #because they want respect! they want respect and want to be acknowledged and treated like a person but just #its so fucked up they feel pressured or the need to do that and like i Know #it can!! be tiring!!! to deal with young ppl online for Various reasons #and you do not owe your time to anyone but im still just. #wishing i could go back to when i was first getting on the internet and shake myself and go 'it is Okay to Not know Everything #and it is Okay to not be 'an adult' it is okay to be a kid!!! #your brain is Literally Chemically and Physically still developing!!! you have only been walking this planet for like #a decade-less than 2 decades!! of course you dont have the same range of experiences as those older and its Okay!!! #just gnrmgnrg #i used to be so obsessed with knowing everything and not being one of 'those 12 year olds' and just. i was!! a respectful kid in that i was #willing to learn new things and understand new things but just gnrngnrng #biting biting biting wishing id let myself be okay with just being a kid bc i Was a kid and there's nothing wrong with being a kid #and a lot!! a lot of ppl feel this way! #might not realize it but just. #its not everyone of course not but the internet is such a double edged blade for kids and i wish there was a way to make it better #just gjdkgkd this is So incoherent but i wish ppl who talk shit on minors as if they were never one a very Stop