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mostlysignssomeportents · 18 days

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The unexpected upside of global monopoly capitalism

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me TODAY (Apr 10) at UCLA, then Chicago (Apr 17), Torino (Apr 21) Marin County (Apr 27), Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

Here's a silver lining to global monopoly capitalism: it means we're all fighting the same enemy, who is using the same tactics everywhere. The same coordination tools that allow corporations to extend their tendrils to every corner of the Earth allows regulators and labor organizers to coordinate their resistance.

That's a lesson Mercedes is learning. In 2023, Germany's Supply Chain Act went into effect, which bans large corporations with a German presence from using child labor, violating health and safety standards, and (critically) interfering with union organizers:

https://www.bafa.de/EN/Supply_Chain_Act/Overview/overview_node.html

Across the ocean, in the USA, Mercedes has a preference for building its cars in the American South, the so-called "right to work" states where US labor law is routinely flouted and unions are thin on the ground. As The American Prospect's Harold Meyerson writes, the only non-union Mercedes factories in the world are in the US:

https://prospect.org/labor/2024-04-08-american-workers-german-law-uaw-unions/

But American workers – especially southern workers – are on an organizing tear, unionizing their workplaces at a rate not seen in generations. Their unprecedented success is down to their commitment, solidarity and shrewd tactics – all buoyed by a refreshingly pro-worker NLRB, who have workers' backs in ways also not seen since the Carter administration:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/14/prop-22-never-again/#norms-code-laws-markets

Workers at Mercedes' factory in Vance, Alabama are trying to join the UAW, and Mercedes is playing dirty, using the tried-and-true union-busting tactics that have held workplace democracy at bay for decades. The UAW has lodged a complaint with the NLRB, naturally:

https://www.commondreams.org/news/alabama-mercedes-benz

But the UAW has also filed a complaint with BAFA, the German regulator in charge of the Supply Chain Act, seeking penalties against Mercedes-Benz Group AG:

https://uaw.org/uaw-files-charges-in-germany-against-mercedes-benz-companys-anti-union-campaign-against-u-s-autoworkers-violates-new-german-law-on-global-supply-chain-practices/

That's a huge deal, because the German Supply Chain Act goes hard. If Mercedes is convicted of union-busting in Alabama, its German parent-company faces a fine of 2% of its global total revenue, and will no longer be eligible to sell products to the German government. Chomp.

Now, the German Supply Chain Act is new, and this is the first petition filed by a non-German union with BAFA, so it's not a slam dunk. But supermajorities of Mercedes workers at the Alabama factory have signed UAW cards, and the election is going to happen in May or June. And the UAW – under new leadership, thanks to a revolution that overthrew the corrupt old guard – has its sights set on all the auto-makers in the American south.

As Meyerson writes, the south is America's onshore offshore, a regulatory haven where corporations pay minimal or no tax and are free to abuse their workers, pollute, and corrupt local governments with a free hand (no wonder American industry is flocking to these states). Meyerson: "The economic impact of unionizing the South, in other words, could almost be placed in the same category as reshoring work that had gone to China."

The German Supply Chain Act was passed with the help of Germany's powerful labor unions, in an act of solidarity with workers employed by German companies all over the world. This is that unexpected benefit to globalism: the fact that Mercedes has extrusions into both the American and German political spheres means that both American and German workers can collaborate to bring it to heel.

The same is true for antitrust regulators. The multinational corporations that are in regulators' crosshairs in the US, the EU, the UK, Australia, Japan, South Korea and beyond use the same playbook in every country. That's doubly true of Big Tech companies, who literally run the same code – embodying the same illegal practices – on servers in every country.

The UK's Competition and Markets Authority has led the pack on convening summits where antitrust enforcers from all over the world gather to compare notes and collaborate on enforcement strategies:

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/cma-data-technology-and-analytics-conference-2022-registration-308678625077

And the CMA's Digital Markets Unit – which boasts the the largest tech staff of any competition regulator in the world – produces detailed market studies that turn out to be roadmaps for other territories' enforces to follow – like this mobile market study:

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/63f61bc0d3bf7f62e8c34a02/Mobile_Ecosystems_Final_Report_amended_2.pdf

Which was extensively referenced in the EU during the planning of the Digital Markets Act, and in the US Congress for similar legislation:

https://www.congress.gov/bill/117th-congress/senate-bill/2710

It also helped enforcers in Japan:

https://asia.nikkei.com/Business/Technology/Japan-to-crack-down-on-Apple-and-Google-app-store-monopolies

And South Korea:

https://www.reuters.com/technology/skorea-considers-505-mln-fine-against-google-apple-over-app-market-practices-2023-10-06/

Just as Mercedes workers in Germany and the USA share a common enemy, allowing for coordinated action that takes advantage of vulnerable flanks wherever they are found, anti-monopoly enforcers are sharing notes, evidence, and tactics to strike at multinationals that are bigger than most countries – but not when those countries combine.

This is an unexpected upside to global monopolies: when we all share a common enemy, we've got endless opportunities for coordinated offenses and devastating pincer maneuvers.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/10/an-injury-to-one/#is-an-injury-to-all

#pluralistic #monopoly #labor #nlrb #germany #harold meyerson #supply chain act #right to work #onshore offshore #uaw #vance alabama #vance #alabama #bafa #mercedes #antitrust #trustbusting

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p1utofairy · 2 months

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pick a card.

★ what makes you different from your person’s ex?

NOTE: hiii <3 i know it’s been a while since i’ve done pacs, but i just needed some time for myself and to balance my energy. i’ve missed you all so much and i understand that some of you really want personal readings for me (and soon i want to provide that for you) but in the meantime doing these pick-a-card readings is serving as practice for me – they help me get more comfortable with my intuition and enhance my tarot reading abilities/knowledge. i want to give y'all the most accurate and insightful guidance/advice 1 on 1 when i feel more prepared and have the time to do it. i hope you all can understand 🤗 your patience and support seriously means a lot to me. for now, i’ll catch up on some of the pac requests that have been sent to me. thanks for requesting this anon. 💌 enjoy!

PILE 1.

what makes you different from your partner’s ex is the fact that you are extremely dedicated to your craft and your own personal goals. right now you might be really yearning for a relationship or just craving some type of romantic spark in your life, but nonetheless you’ve been pushing through and staying focused on building yourself up and putting yourself on the right path. you have set standards, expectations and boundaries that you will not fold on - and your person will LOVE this about you. you’re no pushover. if something isn’t sitting right with you or someone isn’t willing to do/give you what you deserve, you know how to respectfully move on and find someone else that will; no matter how long it takes. you’d rather be single than to have someone by your side that you know isn’t truly fulfilling you and your needs. genie in a bottle by christina aguilera is coming to mind – “if you wanna be with me, baby there’s a price to pay! i’m a genie in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way.” yeah trust me when i say that your person will go extra lengths to impress you and show you how serious they are about this relationship. i think that their previous relationship lacked the spark that you two share.

it also lacked the security, discipline and stability that you bring to the table; they’re willing to put the effort into this relationship. if i’m being quite honest their previous relationship seems like a non-factor, because in their eyes it could never hold a candlelight to what you two share. that one part in after hours by the weeknd just came to me, “cause this house is not a home…without my baby, where are you now when i need you most?” LOL they’re so devoted to you pile 1. the energy is kind of reminding me of allie and noah from ‘the notebook,’ one of the most iconic romance films of all time. don’t get me wrong, allie and noah’s love was far from perfect; it was messy, painful, and at times very selfish. however, it was THEIR love. it was full of passion and intensity and that’s the type of energy i pick up between you two. they would build a house for you with their own bare hands, like noah if you truly wanted them to. you bring out a side of them that their previous partner could never unlock.

you make them work for it and whew does it get them going lol they love the chase. if you teasingly tell them “no.” just to get a reaction out of them, they’ll be like “what can i do to change your mind?” and do the most seductive shit possible to get you all riled up and ready to pounce on them. you balance each other out very well and they’re different from the other types of people that have tried to pursue you before - it's gonna be refreshing. you might be a little hesitant to jump into this relationship because of your own doubts and anxiety around relationships (i’m hearing trust issues? daddy issues?) and this might cause you to keep this person at arms length even though you know you want to get closer to them. they’ll be respectful of you and your space, but just know that they won’t take advantage of your situation; if anything they want to help you work through it and be a supportive partner.

PILE 2.

the energy feels like something out of a whimsical fairytale, pile 2. you might’ve been split between choosing this pile and pile 1 (check that pile as well if you felt drawn to it) but wow your person feels like you came into their life at the perfect time. i’m not sure if either of you expected to come across each other in such a way that left you both feeling lovestruck! what makes you different from their previous partner is how much of a REAL lover you are. there’s a huge amount of optimism and a lust for life that you bring to this connection, which doesn’t quite compare to what they were used to. your love is purposeful and genuine – i’m picking up that some of you might have virgo/6H placements. just like magic by ariana grande just started playing, “just like magic, i’m attractive. i get everything i want cause i attract it.” you definitely manifested this relationship, pile 2. UGH YOUR MIND. it may have taken longer than you expected to come to fruition, but wow was it worth the wait.

they have this playfulness to them that you’ll really adore, it’s like they’re always trying to make you laugh and smile. their last relationship seemed like a bit of a burden on them. it caused them to turn inward and focus on themselves, however, their inner-child really thrives whenever they’re in your presence lol it’s so cute. it’s the little things like tickling your sides, kissing your neck/cheek and telling you silly jokes just to make you feel better and help ease any doubts and anxiety you’re feeling. you ground them in a lot of ways. you might be more mature than them, or they could be younger than you, but regardless, your energy feels more grounded and responsible. they might have felt powerless and restricted in their last relationship, feeling like they couldn’t really express themselves or be vulnerable for fear of judgment.

their ex might’ve involved their friends in a lot of their relationship drama which caused too much outside opinions to interfere with their relationship. that's one of the things that they appreciate about you: you don’t need outside opinions or validation to know what you want or how to manage this relationship. if there’s ever an issue, you will take the initiative to have a conversation with them and work it out; communication will be key in this relationship. their previous relationship lacked a safe space for them to express their emotions, but you are willing to communicate and ensure both of your feelings are taken into account within this connection. also, this person might have some sort of fame/social-standing/platform. it sort of feels like people keep tabs on who they’re currently dating/talking to. i will say that your person definitely values privacy and will try to keep as many people out of the mix as possible. this may not resonate for all, but don’t tell your friends everything about this relationship because some of them might be secretly thirsting over your person. they’ll be smiling in your face but behind the scenes wondering what it would be like to be with them, oof. some things are best kept private. remember that, okay!

PILE 3.

i feel a bit of a push and pull in this connection, pile 3. there’s friction here but it’s fiery and hot. your stubbornness is what makes you different from their previous partner lol they’re used to people falling for their charm and submitting to them – but not you. there seems to be a little bit of a romeo and juliet vibe here, like you two come from different backgrounds and technically y’all shouldn’t work but y’all just do. something clicks in you both whenever you’re around each other, and you spark a deep curiosity within each other. their last relationship was a “pain in the ass” i’m hearing lol wow. no matter what they did it was never good enough for their ex, they always found something to nitpick. i’m picking up that they argued a lot about finances in their previous relationship, your person may not have been in the financial position that they had hoped to be in but nonetheless they were working very hard towards their goals. this relationship with you is like a total reset.

ok so why did climax by usher just come on, “we’re together, now we’re undone. won’t commit, so we choose to run away. do we separate?” hm. for some of you, this might actually be an ex, but if that doesn’t resonate, i think there’s some sort of hesitation to commit here. emotionally and spiritually, you two just get each other, but when it comes to physically getting together and being an actual couple, you or this person finds a reason to cop out. there’s some sort of blockage from the past that’s keeping you from just saying, 'fuck it! let’s do it.' you've got to work through this, pile 3 (at your own pace, of course), because this person truly loves you. at times, you might feel a bit confused and unsure about their true intentions, but deep down, you know that this could work and they’re not as bad as you thought they were. some of this feels like it all could be cleared up with some good ol’ ✨communication✨ because you both have a lot in common, but you avoid talking to them about certain things.

someone in this pile could’ve recently just watched or is thinking of watching ‘anyone but you’ with sydney sweeney and glen powell lol cause the energy kinda feels reminiscent to their dynamic in that movie. you two could connect through friends and/or at a party. i can see either you or them overthinking this connection and creating unnecessary drama when all you both needed was a heart-to-heart conversation. drunk texting by chris brown ft. jhené aiko just came to mind, “got me feelin some type of way - told you i hate you, i don’t mean it. and the only thing that i got, is the pain that you been feeding.” ugh this person really wants to make you theirs pile 3 but the ball is in your court; they genuinely are trying to win you over.

PILE 4.

your person’s previous relationship did not end on the greatest of terms, oof. they’re still in the process of working through it, but they’ll never forget whatever it is that their ex did to make them call it quits. their ex might’ve cheated on them? idk they feel very betrayed and this energy of “ugh i can’t believe they did that” is heavy on them. their relationship with their ex was veryyy toxic and at the time of the breakup they might not have seen it this way, but it was definitely a blessing in disguise. love by keyshia cole just came to mind…damn. “i used to think that i wasn’t fine enough, and i used to think that i wasn’t wild enough.” their ex really had them second-guessing themselves. out of all the other piles, this one doesn’t feel quite healed from their past relationship. it’s not that they’re so much hung up on the person, it’s the situation that left a bad taste in their mouth. i keep hearing “how could you?” ugh poor baby. anyways, what makes you different from their previous partner is how genuine and attentive you are.

you may have just gotten out of a toxic situation yourself, and i see this relationship coming in at a time where you feel free from any negativity, burdens or worries someone (either romantically or platonically) was trying to place on you. this relationship is a fresh start for you and your partner. your person is very emotionally mature and super chill - it’s very hard to get them angry or riled up to the point that they’re screaming & yelling. that’s just not them, i’m hearing. some people might complain that they’re too nonchalant or dismissive, but that’s far from the case. your person is just aware that not everything deserves a reaction. you two will probably start off as friends first and then it’ll turn into a romantic relationship.

it’s interesting because your partner literally submerges themselves deep into their emotions, and you’re more of a ‘mind over matter’ type of person. you deal with things more logically and i think that’s one of the many things that they’ll admire about you; how you let things roll off your back and keep it moving. you give yourself time to process, understand and deal with your feelings, but then once you do, you’re right back to the grind. the dynamic between you and this person is reminding me of the movie ‘friends with benefits’ with mila kunis and justin timberlake. you both will click really fast! also, i’m picking up that you two might share a mutual friend and that might be how you two meet.

you give them hope and reassurance that love, GENUINE love, still exists. they might be a bit hard on themselves in the beginning of the relationship, but you will reassure them that they are more than enough and deserving of the love that you two share. loveeeeeeee song by rihanna ft. future just started playing, “and i hope i’m not sounding too desperate, i need love and affection.” whew! they’re gonna love them some you, pile 4. in their heart and in their eyes, nothing or no one will ever compare to you and the way that you love.

#pick a card #pick a pile #pac #pac reading #tarot reading #p1utofairy

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hedgehog-moss · 11 months

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The Great Jungle Fence of ‘23

A majority of you poll-voters expressed the opinion that my fence would stop Pampe for 4 to 7 days and I am very touched by this popular endorsement of my fence-building skills, because her first escape happened after roughly 4 hours.

^ Pampe connoisseurs will know that her preferred way of defeating fences is by karate-chopping them with her neck, but I thought she could only do that if the fence was low enough for her to put some strength in the chop. The jungle fence was at least as tall as Pampe in the place where I found it all droopy-sad after she escaped, so I guess Pampe added a new jump-chop combo attack to her character sheet. I imagine it went something like this:

That’s okay! All new information about Pampe is carefully filed and will contribute to the creation of the Ultimate Fence. I decided to simply make this portion of the fence unneckchoppable by braiding branches from nearby trees into the fence like they did in Indonesia with that living bridge made by knitting the roots of two banyan trees. I ended up using five or six branches so it’d be solid enough, but here’s a pic of the beginning of the process:

The braided-branch part of the fence still stands undefeated, after 20 days. Pampe ate all the leaves but couldn’t get rid of the branches and had to concede this battleground.

I then found her staring pensively (worryingly) at another potential weak point of the fence: the gate. I used a standard wood pallet at first, tied to trees, but it wasn’t very high. I couldn’t add another pallet on top of it because that would make it inoperable as a door, so I went to explore the barn, which like all barns is full of dusty treasures. What object do I own that’s like a pallet, but much taller?

A slatted bed base. Once tied to a tree it swings open easily, but it was an awful chore to carry it all the way across the pasture, I had to wait for a weekend when my mum was going to visit me. That conversation went like:

Me: Do you remember that old bed in the barn? Can you help me carry it (well part of it) across the pasture? Mum: Why on earth Me: Pampe. Fence. Mum: That’s a good reason

I was very proud of my new, impassable gate, but Pampe was weirdly nowhere to be seen as I was setting it up. Usually she’s here carefully observing over my shoulder when I add a new element to a fence, so that was alarming.

In a flash of insight I realised I had been tricked; she’d never had any intention of jumping over the pallet gate. Too easy, too predictable. She’d only examined the gate to scare me into trying to solve this non-problem and force me to use my only trump card (I don’t have several old beds in the barn), and meanwhile she’d gone and jumped over a different pallet in a different part of the fence.

That other pallet had a sheep netting stretched above it, so that a) I thought it was unjump-able, b) Pampe thought it was a more amusing challenge. Poor Baby Poldine was a bit distraught; she clearly didn’t dare to jump to follow her mum but she didn’t want to be left behind once again, so she tried to slip through the net, but that didn’t work either.

Poldine made a baa noise like a traumatised baby goat and Pampe grudgingly turned back to go bump noses with her through the fence, it was a cute mother-daughter moment.

I added a new length of wire mesh (see pink arrow in the below pic) above the pallet to discourage further jumping, and my mum went “So you can remove the sheep netting and use it elsewhere” and I was like, what, no! Do you think they remove parts of the fence every time a Jurassic Park dinosaur escapes? That makes no sense. I’m only going to add more elements to this fence. Forever and ever or until it works.

Pirlouit, a law-abiding animal with very modest fence needs, was starting to look a bit overwhelmed.

Also—for once, Pampe didn’t look annoyed about being escorted back where I wanted her to be, she was kind of bouncy and looked immensely entertained by all this.

I’ll spare you the details but she escaped again, this time by lifting the bottom of the fence in a place where it was weighed down with a crossbar, which she broke in two with the power of her neck. That was easy to fix; instead of a wooden crossbar I weighed down the base of the fence with massive rocks. Go ahead and neck chop those, Pampe. But this time around it had taken me forever to find the spot where she escaped, so I decided to make things easier for myself in the future—I cordoned off the area just outside the fence with police tape between trees, along the whole length of it. This way I’ll see easily where she escaped—the tape is very flimsy and I crisscrossed it in places, so she shouldn’t be able to get past it without breaking it.

... So I suppose I’ll have to start the next post with “You’ll never guess what I caught Pampe doing last night” and a photo of her like

Anyway, Pampe looked unamused this time.

Well, that’s all. For now. Pampérigouste is back in the lawful enclosure with her family and we are waiting for her next move. Here’s a photo of her alone in the unallowed half of her pasture the other evening, contemplating her freedom

#crawling along #llama drama

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poipoipoi-2016 · 1 year

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Apropos of nothing

If you are the techiest person in the house (and for many of you, this is not techy at all), today is a good day to build a pihole thanks to Google's new TLDs.

For the record, this straight up stopped Dad from getting computer viruses when coupled with the Ublock browser extension, so I will volunteer my time to get you set up. We will find an evening and do a Zoom call. I am serious.

Prerequisities:

Before you start, this will be way way easier if your router has a magic way to:

Set static IP addresses

Set a custom DNS server

If you can't do this, I'm not saying you're stuck, but there's some non-obvious failure modes and maybe it's time to buy a better router.

Parts:

Raspberry Pi 4B. 2GB if you just want to set and forget, 8GB if you want to do more things on this than just your pihole (Coughs in a MarioKart box) -> https://www.raspberrypi.com/products/raspberry-pi-4-model-b/

Spare USB-C charger if you don't have one already. I'm a fan of https://www.amazon.com/Argon-USB-C-Power-Supply-Switch/dp/B0919CQKQ8/ myself

A microSD card at least UHS class 3 or better. 32 is fine for just a pihole, I have a 512 in some of mine that I use for more stuff. https://www.tomshardware.com/best-picks/raspberry-pi-microsd-cards

Some method of flashing the card if you don't have one (Some come with SD to micro-SD adapters, if not a USB to SD/micro-SD adapter is about $10 off Amazon)

If you really feel like going nuts, go buy yourself an Argon case and then very very carefully never ever install the software for the fan that does nothing. The value is entirely in having a big giant brick that is self-cooling. If you want to play MarioKart, I would consider this a requirement. https://www.amazon.com/Argon-Raspberry-Aluminum-Heatsink-Supports/dp/B07WP8WC3V

Setup:

Do yourself a favor and ignore all the signs telling you to go get Raspbian and instead go grab an ISO of Ubuntu 64-bit using RPi Imager. Because Raspbian cannot be upgraded across version WHY U DO THIS

Download Rpi Imager, plug the microSD card into your computer,

Other General Purpose OS -> Ubuntu -> Ubuntu 22.04 LTS

So now you have an operating system on an SD card.

Assemble the case if you bought one, plug in the SD card, power supply, ethernet cable if you have one or mouse and (mini) HDMI cable if you don't. If you bought that Argon case, you can just plug a keyboard (server OS means no mouse gang; In this house, we use the Command Line) and HDMI cable into the Pi. Turn it on.

Gaining access

The end state of this is that your pi is:

Connected to the internet by cable or wifi

You can SSH to it (Also not scary)

If you plugged in an ethernet cable, once it's done booting (1-2 minutes?), you should be able to ssh to "ubuntu@<the IP of the system>". Look it up in your router. It may make sense to give the static IP NOW to keep it stable.

If you've never used SSH before, I think the standard is Putty on Window or you can just open a terminal in Mac. (And if you know enough Linux to have a Linux computer, why are you reading this?)

If you didn't plug it in, and need to setup the wifi, there's magic incantations to attach it to the wifi and to be quite blunt, I forget what they are.

Your username is ubuntu, your password is ubuntu and then it will ask you to make a new password. If you know the meaning of the phrase "keypair-based access", it may make sense to run `ssh-copy-id` at this point in time.

Router settings (part 1)

Give your new Pi a static IP address, and reboot your pi (as simple as typing in `sudo reboot`).

Open a new SSH session to the pihole on the new address.

Installing pihole

Open up an SSH session and

curl -sSL https://install.pi-hole.net | bash

This is interactive. Answer the questions

When it's done, on your other computer, navigate to <the ip>/admin

Give your new Pi a static IP address then point your router at that address

Set the DNS servers to the static IP

Then ensure you're blocking something. Anything.

Then do what you want to do. You'll probably need to whitelist some sites, blacklist some more, but the main thing is going to be "Adding more list of bad sites". Reddit has some lists.

And... enjoy.

/But seriously, there's some stuff to do for maintenance and things. I wasn't joking about the pair setup.

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haveyouplayedthisirlgame-poll · 5 months

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Skull is a card game where players bet on the number of played cards they can turn over without finding a skull.

#polls #card games #non-standard cards #you CAN play with standard cards though

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kingkunigami · 2 years

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Mutual Masturbation | Kunigami Rensuke x Reader

𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 - 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐮��𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚�� 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

Kinktober masterlist.

Summary: Kunigami’s coach never allowed any sex before important match days and your boyfriend was always a stickler for the rules, no matter how stressed out it made him. But this time you’ve devised a workaround.

Pairing: Kunigami Rensuke x f!reader.

Warnings: 18+, pwp, not proofread!, mutual masturbation, praise, fingering, hand jobs, cumshots.

Word Count: 3.1k.

You loved Kunigami and supported him through his dream of becoming one of the greatest players in the world, watching him in his journey from Blue Lock as he began to follow in the footsteps of his favourite players, reaching the big leagues. But— you absolutely hated his coach, the man was supposedly an expert in his field, but he was also doing everything in his power to keep your boyfriend away from you.

It wasn’t enough that you’d been with Kunigami longer than he’d been in the big leagues, longer than he’d been with this team.

You were nothing but a distraction.

But a distraction was exactly what Kunigami needed right now. His body aching from the intense training regime, as he barely made it out of the shower and onto the couch beside you. Already moving to give you the same speech he always did whenever you’d straddle his hips and press kisses against his pulse point.

“Coach said no sex before big games, you know that—” it was always the same story, the same excuse. His coach believed it made his players perform to a higher standard, and that having sex would sap their testosterone and athletic ability. But you knew better— you knew that you were doing him, and his teammates a favour.

You despised whoever invented this spurious old wives tale, convinced that the coach was jealous of his players and their healthy sex lives that he was making it his mission to have each of them as touch starved as he probably was. If it was such a great idea, Raichi probably wouldn’t end up with a red card at the end of each game. Or maybe he would, but sex would certainly help.

You just missed your boyfriend’s touch, and having to wake up to his morning wood pressed snug against your ass each morning without him doing anything about it was going to become your undoing. You needed a fix, and you were going to get it.

“Careful.” Kunigami groaned as he felt your teeth nip the sensitive skin on his neck, your fingers trailing through the hair on his undercut as you pressed your chest against his, “You know we can’t.”

“You know we don’t have to have sex,” You hummed as you mimicked his words. Shifting on his lap as you felt the tent beneath his sweats nudge your scorched slit, almost certain he could feel the heat radiating through the fabric, “There are other things we can do.”

Your lips hovered over his as you felt his warm breath fan your face. His chestnut eyes gazed into yours lowly as he fought the urge to lean forward and make your lips meet, knowing that the moment they did his willpower would be near non-existent as he moved to bend you over the nearest available surface.

“Like what?” Kunigami replied with intrigue, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Let me show you,” You smiled, pecking his lips as he pulled back.

“Yeah?” He hummed breathlessly, his head settled against the back of the couch as his fingers dipped into the plush curve of your hips, dangerously close to the swell of your ass. As though he was fighting himself internally to tug you forward and press you down on his lap hard, “But coach said-”

“I know, I know. Coach said no sex,” You felt the corners of your lips curling into a sly smile, “I won’t even touch you, Ren. I promise.”

Your boyfriend gave you a look as though he didn’t quite believe you, watching through half-lidded eyes as you slipped from his lap to sit on one side of the couch. Shamelessly splaying your thighs apart as the oversized shirt you were wearing bunched around your hips. One of your feet was positioned on the floor, the other near the back of the couch as you gave him the perfect view of the lacy panties you were wearing beneath. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t worn these in an attempt to entice your boyfriend to break the cardinal rule, and from the drunken haze in his gaze, you could’ve fooled yourself into thinking it had worked. His eyes fixed on the apex of your thighs as you watched his hips shift against the plush seat, spreading his thighs to try and give his throbbing cock some much-needed relief.

“If we’re not going to have sex, then what are we doing, sweetheart?” He groaned as you answered by sliding two fingers along your clothed crotch, the noise that slipped from your lips at the friction akin to that of pure angels as he felt a deep groan rumble in his chest, “Fuck.”

“I told you, baby.” You hummed softly, pressing down against your neglected clit through the thin layer of fabric, “You’re not gonna touch me- we’re just going to help each other out.”

Kunigami didn’t respond as his eyes remained fixed on the hand between your thighs, watching as you continued to tease yourself. The sheer fabric darkening was an indication of how wet you were already, and you’d barely even touched yourself. Wondering whether it was the thought of him alone that left you like this, hungry and salacious.

“You’ve been so stressed lately,” You continued, moving your thumbs to slip into the hem of your panties as you began to languidly drag them down your hips, “You almost knocked Raichi out on the field last week-”

“Fuck— Don’t mention his name now,” Kunigami groaned as he watched strings of your slick connecting your folds to your soaked panties begin to break in silvery wisps against your inner thighs, “I’ll go soft.”

“Bet you won’t,” You teased back, “Admit it, you need this just as much as me.”

You let your panties dangle on your ankle as you raised your leg up towards your boyfriend teasingly, before dropping them onto his lap with a smile. Kunigami’s fingers instantly weaved into the fabric as he thumbed the wet patch against the crotch. Watching as his nostrils flared at the sensation of just how wet and warm you were, remembering exactly how it felt to slide his thick cock inside your slick heat.

“Come on, Ren.” You practically purred as you parted your messy folds with two fingers so he could see how eager you were, “I need you so bad.”

A choked moan left his lips at the desperate sound of your voice as his hips jerked sloppily, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed thickly. Your lacy panties balled in one of his fists as he shrugged his sweats and boxers down just enough to free his aching cock. You could’ve almost moaned at the sight of him, trying to remember the last time you’d seen him like this besides watching him get changed in the morning while you shamelessly ogled him from your bed. Trying to coax him back as you’d watch his soft cock harden at the mere thought before he’d give you the same excuse, “coach said no sex until the championship game” before leaving you unsatiated.

“God, I’ve missed him.” You tease, feeling your cunt throb as you took in the sight of his flushed tip, all pink and swollen as you watched pre drool from his slit down his length. Remembering the sensation of him filling you to the brim as he’d plunge inside your silky depths, the pleasurable ache of him stretching you into the shape of him.

“He misses you too,” Kunigami smirked as he held himself at the base, licking your lips as you found yourself leaning forward to swipe your finger against the drooling tip of his cock.

“Uh-uh,” Kunigami was quick to catch your wrist in a large palm, stopping you from reaching out to touch him, “You said no touching.”

“Just wanna taste,” You whimpered, “Please?”

“So needy.” Kunigami scoffed, as though he didn’t feel the exact same as you. The scent of your arousal was intoxicating as he held back every ounce of restraint to stop himself from diving headfirst into your messy cunt, remembering the taste of you on his tongue as he instinctively licked his lips. His thumb swiped over the leaking tip of his cock as he gathered his pre against the calloused skin, moving his hand towards you as an offering you eagerly accepted, greedily sucking his thumb between your pouty lips as you felt the heady taste of him on your tongue. A low whine vibrated around his digit as you began to suck on it desperately, your cheeks hollowing as your tongue swirled around the tip.

“Fuck,” Kunigami choked as his cock bobbed against his abdomen, his balls heavy and full of cum as he wished he could give you more. Picturing emptying himself into your pliant mouth as a palm wrapped around your neck to feel you swallow, the taste of him heavy on your tongue as you milked him for all he was worth.

“Thought you said no touching, sweetheart.” He hummed as he pulled his thumb from your lips, dragging the bottom one down before letting it flick back into place. Leaning forward as you watched him move the same hand to wrap around his heavy cock, squeezing softly as he groaned.

“We could,” You replied coyly, “Touching still isn’t sex.”

“And I know you have no restraint,” He smiled, “You little minx.”

“I do,” You whined back with a pout, you absolutely didn’t. The last time there was an important game coming up, you’d managed to get Kunigami benched after the coach had caught you in the locker rooms, uncaring that he was his best striker.

“You don’t.” He scoffed, “Can’t even follow basic rules.”

“It’s a stupid rule,” You retorted stubbornly, letting your fingers drag through your slick as you circled your thighs entrance, “Leave your girlfriend unsatisfied so you play better on the field.”

“Rules are rules.” Kunigami continued, his hand languidly stroking his cock as his eyes focused on the way your fingers moved against you, “So we better follow them. Especially after what happened last time.”

“But you wish you were the one playing with my pussy right now, don’t you?” You cooed, sliding your slick-coated fingers up to your clit as you pressed against the sensitive nub softly. The sensation pulled a soft whine from your lips as you tried to touch yourself how Kunigami would, precise and constant as he knew your body better than your own.

“Oh, I do.” He groaned, his thumb swiping at the fresh pre oozing from his head as he smoothed it down the length of his cock, “But unlike you, I know how to follow the rules.”

“You love it really,” You hummed, your cunt clenching at the darkened look in his eyes as he shamelessly roamed your body, “Stupid rules are made to be broken.”

“I love it when you behave,” He corrected you, pulling a needy moan from you at his tone. Your fingers prodding your tight entrance as you tried to imagine it was him instead, stretching yourself out around your digits.

“I am behaving.” You pouted.

“Are you?” He scoffed, “Doesn’t look like it.”

“I am,” You whined childishly, “If I wasn’t I’d be sitting on your dick right now.”

The grunt Kunigami let out at that was dark and guttural, a deep groan reverberating from deep in his chest as he sent a jolt of electricity straight to your cunt. Your walls trembled around your fingers as your hips bucked into your touch, feeling lightheaded as your head fell back against the arm of the couch.

“Damn,” He sucked in a sharp breath at the lewd sound of your fingers buried deep inside your walls, the squelch filling the room as he imagined how much louder they’d be paired with skin against skin. You were practically dripping for him and he hadn’t even touched you, so desperate and needy for him that you’d go to these extremes instead of waiting for the season to be over, “Show me those pretty tits.”

“I thought you didn’t want to do this,” You teased, “The rules-”

“Do it,” He almost growled, the cool timber to his voice had you complying almost instantly as you pulled his shirt up over your chest to reveal your naked breasts to his gaze, “Fuck.”

His hand sped up against his shaft, the slick friction echoing around the room as he leaned forward to spit down on his length. The sound had you clenching as you wished your fingers felt as good as his, stroking against the silky spot inside you that Kunigami always focused on.

“You’re so pretty,” He mumbled, chestnut eyes roaming your exposed skin as he reached his free hand out to squeeze your calf. The warmth of his hand against your skin had the heat inside you burning like a flame, reaching up to palm one of your naked breasts as you tried to mimic his movements. Fingers tweaking your hardened nipple as you tugged gently, pulling more gruff groans from your boyfriend's lips.

“Doesn’t that feel good?” You cooed, “Bet you wish it was my pussy instead.”

“Nothin’s better than your pussy,” He mumbled, rolling his wrist every time he reached his swollen tip. Tightening his fist to try and emulate how your tight cunt felt wrapped around him each time he sunk himself inside you, tempted to throw his morals to the side and break the cardinal rule as he watched the way your walls sucked three of your fingers in.

“Wish you could feel right now,” You mewled pathetically, writhing on the couch beside him as your palm pressed against your clit.

It wasn’t the same, your slender fingers couldn’t reach the same spots as he could. Sliding directly into your warmth and finding the exact places he knew would have you coming undone in minutes, navigating your body better than you ever could.

“I wish it was your fingers instead, yours always feel so much better than mine.” You continued.

“Yeah,” He grinned, his thumb pressed against his slit. You could tell by the way his thick lashes were fluttering that he was nearing his end, “I make you feel so good, don’t I, sweetheart?”

“The best, Rensuke. Every time-” Kunigami’s chest puffed at the praise, brows furrowing as his hand increased its pace against his cock, “You’re the best.”

“Yeah, I am.” He keened at the praise, his chest puffing out as he continued stroking himself.

The sight of him had your cunt clenching around your fingers, keeping the tips of them pressed against the spongy spot inside you as you brought your other hand down to press rough, constant circles against your puffy clit. The coil inside you was dangerously close to snapping as you continued to watch your boyfriend fist himself at the thought of you, his knuckles white from how tight he was fisting himself. Fingers trailing along the prominent veins on his length as he tried to imagine his thick cock stretching your tight walls as he buried himself balls deep. Your creamy arousal leaving rings around the base of his heavy cock so he could see the absolute mess he'd make of you every time, the mess reserved just for him.

“I’m gonna cum,” You gasped, your walls beginning to clamp down around your fingers in anticipation.

“Gonna cum for me, sweet girl?” Kunigami groaned, “Show me how pretty you look when you’re cummin’ for me, yeah?”

A jumbled cry of his name fell from your lips as you began to convulse around your fingers, tumbling into your bliss as your hips bucked from the couch. Riding out your release as you felt the tension dissipate to be replaced with euphoria as you felt Kunigami’s intense gaze completely fixated on you, his hand still slick and constant against his hard cock as he watched you ride out your climax. Pulling your fingers from your fluttering hole as you moved them up to gently brush your clit, fingers slick with your arousal.

“Want you to cum for me, baby.” You cooed, watching his jaw tighten as he clenched his teeth. The tension in him was at breaking point as he moved his free hand to grip the back of the couch, “Please, I want it.”

“Yeah? You want my cum?” He snarled through clenched teeth, his hand swift against his length as he sped up to bring himself to meet his own end.

“Yeah,” You parroted, unable to take your eyes off the hand around his cock, remembering when he used to piston his fingers inside your cunt at the same speed. Your cunt clenched as he began to shift on the couch, his forearm on the back as he kneeled between your parted thighs. Hovering over your glistening folds as he jerked himself above you.

“I’ll fuckin’ give it to you, sweetheart.” He groaned, half-lidded eyes gazing down at your wetness as he pictured how easily he could slip inside you and feel your walls trembling around him, the thought sending him to meet his own end, “Take it.”

You gasped as the first white-hot globs of cum began to drip onto your cunt, the sensation scorching you as his movements became erratic. Spurts flew along your torso as they landed against your naked breasts and tummy, painting your body white with his release as he left a trail of warmth against your skin.

“Oh, fuck.” Kunigami groaned as he emptied his balls, tapping the tip of his spent cock against your clit as he dragged it through your folds. Smearing his cum into your skin as he mixed it with your own release, chest heaving from the intensity of his climax.

Catching you by surprise as he reached down with his spit-soaked hand to pull the fingers that had been inside your cunt to his lips. His tongue swirled around them as he cleaned the taste of you from your skin, a deep timber groan rumbling deep in his chest at the taste of you.

“You’re a terrible influence,” He murmured, glancing down at the content smile that was now on your face as you leaned your tired body against the couch.

“Yeah, but you love me though.” You teased, avoiding his lips when he leaned down to kiss you, “Hey, no kisses before big games.”

“That isn’t a rule,” He scoffed, pinching your cheeks between his thumb and forefinger as your lips curled into a pout as he gave you a sloppy kiss.

“Maybe I’m making it one.” You scrunched your nose as he shook his head.

“You wouldn’t dare.” He smiled softly, giving you another softer kiss as he ran his hands along your sides, “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

His coach would argue that sex before a game made his players worse, but you would argue that it just made them more hungry.

#Kunigami x reader #Kunigami smut #Rensuke Kunigami x reader #Rensuke Kunigami smut #blue lock smut #blue lock x reader #bllk smut #bllk x reader #kinktober #kinktober 2022

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netherworldpost · 1 month

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Netherworld Post Office is NOW OPEN!

Launching took far longer than expected. The short answer: I studied what Evil Supply Co. did well, where it struggled, and where I want to focus.

I’m starting with greeting cards and some really interesting pay-if-you-want download concepts. In the next several weeks, I will slowly add more of both. In the next several months, I’ll begin adding zines and comics as well.

And of Course, a Classic $0.13 Sale!

To celebrate our launch, we are hosting our traditional “$0.13 Mystery Sale to Celebrate Friday 13th” (it’s not Friday 13th, we are simply too impatient to wait).

Available through Sunday, April 15, 2024!

Standard sales tax, shipping and handling, and/or international postage and/or customs fees apply. This is a normal, albeit heavily discounted, greeting card in our shop. No minimums nor maximums.

Netherworld Postage greeting card (view shop)

A giant THANK YOU for your attention and support!

Next steps are to gently panic as the inevitable quick-to-resolve, non-destructive, subtle but embarrassing, problems are inevitably found. This is part of launching any new project.

(Thank you in advance for any patience I may request while hammering out last-second post-launch weirdness.)

Okay, back to work.

Maybe a waffle first. Some coffee.

Thank you again. We’re going to have fun.

VIEW SHOP

#netherworld post #netherworld post office #evilsupplyco #evil supply co

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zvaigzdelasas · 6 months

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[Reuters is Canada-Based Private Media]

Bangladesh will raise the minimum wage for garment workers by 56.25%, the first hike since 2019, the junior labour minister said on Tuesday after a week of protests calling for higher salaries. The minimum wage for workers will be increased from 8,000 taka to 12,500 taka ($114) per month from Dec. 1, State Minister for Labour and Employment Monnujan Sufian said. There will also be a 5% annual increment. The protests, which led to clashes with police that killed two workers and wounded dozens more, pushed the government to form a panel of factory owners, union leaders and officials to consider the demand for higher pay.[...]

"(Government welfare) cards will be provided to the workers, later the ration cards will be given to them so they can buy essential commodities at cheaper rates," Rahman, also a former president of the Bangladesh Garment Manufacturers and Exporters Association, told Reuters. Workers, however, are not happy with the rise at a time when inflation is running at 9.5%.

7 Nov 23

[TheDailyStar is Bengali Private Media]

The wage board for garment workers has set the minimum salary at Tk 12,500, a little over half of what workers demand. Union leaders have rejected the new minimum wage put forth by the wage board, which accepted the proposal of factory owners’ representative Siddiqur Rahman. The current starting wage is Tk 8,000. Union leaders yesterday threatened to go for tough demonstrations. Workers had demonstrated for 12 straight days.[...]

Before the announcement, members of the Minimum Wage Board, formed on April 9, held a meeting at its office. While the meeting was going on, union leaders outside chanted slogans demanding a minimum wage of at least Tk 23,000. Demanding a starting salary of Tk 25,000, Montu Ghosh, president of Garment Sramik Trade Union Kendra, said the measly amount set was not enough to lead a good life. Inflation and high prices of essentials have made things worse for garment workers. Ghosh along with other union leaders of the Mojuri Briddhite Garment Sramik Andolon, a platform of workers’ unions, in a statement rejected the new minimum wage and called for a rally on Friday where they would announce tougher programmes[...]

If the workers’ unrest continues, the responsibility will lie with the wage board, Nazma said.[...]

[The] president of the Bangladesh Apparel Workers’ Federation, said the prime minister’s intervention is needed in setting the new minimum wage. He demanded ration cards, not the family cards of the TCB, for the garment workers.[...]

The new minimum wage is much less than those offered in India, Cambodia, Vietnam, China and Indonesia. Only Pakistan has a lower minimum wage. Early last month, the Centre for Policy Dialogue, after a survey, interviews and research, estimated that the minimum wage for an RMG worker should be Tk 17,568. The new minimum wage falls short of that. The think-tank had delved into food and non-food expenditure patterns of 228 workers from 76 factories and even considered how many earning members an average RMG worker’s family had. The CPD had stated that the food cost for an RMG worker family was at least Tk 9,198 a month but notes that the standard food expenditure for a family of four would be Tk 16,529 and that the garment workers have to cut corners to make ends meet.

It said 12 percent of the workers’ families do not buy milk at all, 5 percent do not buy sugar, and 5 percent do not consume fruits.

8 Nov 23

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littlecrittereli · 2 months

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Random WK Headcanon dump

Here's a silly list of headcanons I have about team Wild Kratts, in no particular order other than what comes into my head first:

Heights:

Martin and Chris are based off their real heights and I filled everyone else in based off how they look standing next to each other. I exaggerated Aviva and Koki's height a little bit, just for some variety.

Koki is the tallest at 6' (182.9 cm)

Martin is 5'10 (177.8 cm)

Jimmy is 5'9 (175.3 cm)

Chris is 5'8 (172.7 cm)

and Aviva is the shortest at 5'3 (160 cm)

Reference:

Ages:

Martin is definitely the oldest at 25

Aviva is 24

Jimmy and Koki are both 23, Jimmy being a few months older

And Chris is runner up at 21

The reason for the small age gap is because Martin was ultimately the person that put together the Tortuga team when he graduated college, and he picked students that were also close to graduation at the time. Chris would have just been starting college, but would join them upon graduation because of his connection through Martin. Other freshmen at the time would not have qualified for the research grant.

Birthdays!!!

Martin: Dec 23rd (he's a capricorn)

Aviva: Nov 4th (She's a scorpio)

Jimmy: April 20th (He's a taurus)

Koki: August 27th (She's a virgo)

Chris: July 19th (He's a cancer)

Identities:

(Disclaimer this is referring to the fictional Wild Kratts animated characters ONLY. Not the actual people they are based on.)

Martin: he/him, bisexual. But his preference is women.

He's probably had a handful of girlfriends and a couple of boyfriends throughout high school and college, but unfortunately had too big of ambitions to settle down with anyone.

Aviva: she/her, bisexual. She doesn't have a preference.

She has probably been on like... 2 dates max. She has always been much more focused on her education and bettering her inventions than dating. Her only standard for a partnership is someone who can keep up with her intelligence. Or at least someone she can learn from and grow with.

Jimmy: he/him, straight.

He literally does not care, but he would probably kiss a man if the opportunity arose. Had a girlfriend in kindergarten and they spoke twice, but since she moved schools and they never officially broke up, he's still technically off the market.

Koki: she/they lesbian. SHE LIKES WOMEN

tried to date a man. regretted it. Has probably been in a couple semi-serious relationships, but didn't work out for various reasons. She's content to focus on her career for now but someday would love to be a mom.

Chris: he/they aroace

only proclaimed to have a crush on a girl in high school because everyone else was talking about crushes and he didn't want to feel left out. Doesn't really like to be touched in general. Would rather cut off his hand than be forced to hold someone else's in a non platonic way. When someone has a crush on him, he does not know how to respond so he literally just ignores them.

Silly Stuff:

-As a zoologist, Martin knows more about animal behaviors, classification, and identification. Meanwhile, Chris as a biologist knows more about the anatomy and general science of animals. For example, Martin would be able to explain the reasoning behind a firefly's glow while Chris would be able to explain the chemical reaction that makes the glow possible. And they are constantly sharing and learning from each other as well.

-Chris has glasses, he just doesn't really use them very often. They would get in the way of creature adventuring so he only wears them if he's reading or something. They aren't super crucial, it just helps with small words.

-Game nights are VERY serious on the Tortuga. Jimmy is suspiciously good at card/board games. He pretty much always wins. It's to the point where everyone else is on a team against him. Sometimes he lets them win and it has sent the entire team into a fight. Sorry has been banned in the Tortuga because of this.

-Koki's a huge theatre nerd. She participated in plays recreationally throughout high school, and will often hum or sing while she's doing a task.

-Martin plays the guitar and has a mediocre singing voice. It's nothing spectacular but he can carry a tune. Sometimes when the Tortuga is parked somewhere remote for the night, they will make a campfire and sing a few songs.

-Aviva has roller skates built into her shoes (SIDE NOTE: This is something we see very often in season 1 but they seemed to have forgotten about it??? or retconned it??? BUT I HATE IT BECAUSE THEY WERE SO COOL PLEASE BRING BACK THE ROLLER SKATES)

-Martin is a terrible driver. (The oldest sibling curse) He knows he's a terrible driver, but pretends he's not. Chris will usually try to take the driver's seat to prevent Martin from driving, but sometimes Martin beats him there. Will deflect any evidence of him being a bad driver. "That curb shouldn't have been there" Someone please revoke his license, he's a danger to society.

-Jimmy is definitely the best cook out of all of them. He makes food for the team most of the time, unless they are on a longer flight and he has to pilot. Koki and Chris are pretty competent chefs "Just read the recipe it's not that hard". Martin's basically limited to ramen noodles and microwave mac and cheese. Aviva, try as she might, can NOT cook. She will BURN water. (she always overcomplicates the recipes by trying to utilize an invention or something)

-Koki likes to crochet. She likes to keep her hands busy so whenever she's doing a rather boring task, like monitoring for bad weather/villains while the bros are out, she crochets.

-Jimmy gets insane jet lag, and since they are bouncing from different time zones all the time, he can never really catch up. Not to mention he has to stay up for irregular hours to fly the Tortuga. This is why he's always napping, and why the others usually leave him alone to sleep unless it's important.

#wild kratts #chris kratt #martin kratt #aviva corcovado #wild kratts koki #jimmy z #wild kratts headcanon #littlecrittereli #These are so random but they are just thoughts that have been stuck in my head for a while #also its just for fun and how I personally view their dynamic :)#found family Tortuga Team

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fox-bee926 · 10 months

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My Tailor

Harvey Specter x fem!reader

Masterlist A/N: holy shit dudes I finally did it. It was hard and full of procrastination. But I did it. I might make another one. I might not. At this point consistency is a figment of my imagination. (not really edited don't come for me) Anyway! Enjoy! TW: suggestive talking, but only a bit of a joke. Nothing really scandalous or anything of the sort; Harvey being jealous Word Count: ~997 (nothing real crazy dw)

(Third POV)

Mike walks up to the door of Ms. Tailor’s Thread and Needle, business card in hand. The sign says closed, and the shop seems dark, but there is obvious movement. He is just about to knock on the door when it swings open. The woman seems very surprised when he stumbles back, rubbing his hands on his pants.

“Hello... Do you work here?”

“No, I sneak in just to eat my lunch.”

Mike looks panicked for a moment, then composes himself. “By the sarcasm, I assume you do. I was sent by Harvey Specter. He has made his opinion on my suits very clear.”

“Of course he did, they’re terrible," Mike looks down, confused, thinking they were top of the line. "I’m Ms. Taylor, come on in.” Ms. Taylor opens the door wider, but keeps the sign flipped to closed. She smoothed out the wrinkles of her dress pants. “The other girls went out for lunch but Jessie told me I had a priority one booking. I’m going to assume that’s you.”

Mike walks into the shop and looks around. He stops in his tracks with a deer in headlights look. “Wait a minute, Harvey told me not to talk to you.”

“Did he now? Oh, don’t worry about him, honey. I promise he won’t mind.” The door shuts closed and Ms. Taylor turns the rest of the floor lights on as she grabs a small box of tools.

Mike goes to stand on the raised platform encircled by lights. “Are you sure? He seemed pretty... clear. Just as clear as his hating of my suits.”

“Positive, Mike. Now, let’s see what we’re working with. Oh, and please, call me Y/N.”

___

(Second POV)

You unlock the door to your shared apartment with Harvey. Mike had talked to you quite a bit about his time at Pearson Hardman. Especially how much of an ass Harvey had been to him. You had thought about talking Harvey into easing up on him, but in the end you decided against it. Harvey was bound to be upset hearing you two even talked at all.

“He just said not to talk to you. No explanation or anything. I was worried that you had torn his suit or something.”

“I tore the buttons off one time, but that was completely non-work related. I’ll talk to him when I get home. For now, just say Jessie tailored you. Have a good day, hun, and good luck.”

You couldn’t lie, you were a bit upset that Harvey told his own associate not to let you tailor him. You had tailored every person even remotely close to Harvey, even Louis. However, Harvey’s jealousy was understandable. After Louis had not so subtly flirted with you, and not so subtly got his pockets’ seams ripped, Harvey was weary of sending his male coworkers to you for a suit.

The sound of the front door closing and your bag hitting the floor caught the attention of said Harvey Specter from the kitchen. As soon as your eyes met, he knew he was in trouble. Harvey waited patiently, wine glass in hand, in silence as you took your coat and heels off. Finally, you spoke.

“You told your own associate not to be tailored by me?”

“That little snitch. I knew something was up when he said Jessie had tailored him. You would never send Jessie to tailor a priority one.”

“That’s right. I would never send Jessie to tailor a priority one. I would never send anyone but myself to tailor a priority one, and you knew that. Yet, you were going to have Mike get a below-standard tailor job because you couldn’t handle your girlfriend hemming the pants of your coworker.” The more you talked, the more you realized just how angry you were.

You and Harvey had had this conversation several times. You always said how you could handle yourself when male clients tried getting frisky (they always tried,) and Harvey said that he hates you getting so close to his male coworkers.

“This is- This is ridiculous! I shouldn’t have to ask you not to tailor my coworkers! I don’t like your hands being so close to their... inseam.” He made a confused face for a moment before going back to his rant. “How should I feel knowing that every man you tailor in New York feels your hands on him? How should that make me feel other than angry and very, very shitty?” His hands gripped the counter in frustration, and you copied the motion.

“You should feel angry. But you should also trust that the only thing I’m doing is poking a needle very close to their ‘inseam,’ as you put. I promise you, I can handle myself.” You reached across the counter and wrapped your hand around his.

Harvey hung his head, knowing he wouldn’t be getting anywhere. Also knowing, deep down, that he was overreacting a bit. “Fine. I’m sorry. But I’m still not going to recommend anyone unless absolutely necessary.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t expect anything less.” You walked around to his side of the counter and wrapped your arms around him, leaning your head against his back. He smelled of ballpoint pen and whatever cologne he decided to wear that day. You could never tell them apart, but you’d never tell him that.

After a minute or two he turned around in your arms and gently placed his hands on your face.

“What would I do without you?”

“Not have the best tailored suits in New York City, at the very least.” You both chuckled and he placed a small kiss on your lips. “To be fair, I wouldn’t have the first clue how I would survive without you.”

“Well, for one you wouldn’t have the best kisser in New York City.” You let out a loud giggle and a few murmurs “oh really?” as he attacked your face with kisses of various weight. Finally, he left a passionate kiss on your lips, right where he started. He brushed a lock of hair out from in front of your face.

“What is a man without his best suit, anyways?”

#fics by foxbee #bonus in the tags #fanficiton #harvey specter #suits #harvey specter x reader #xreader #fem!reader #fics

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