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#no there aren't
iamthecomet · 6 months
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Kinktober - Day Twenty- Dry Humping AND Public Sex.
1k about why ghouls should not be allowed in bars. AKA: Swiss and Aeon share a perfectly innocent dance in a very crowded bar.
The bar is loud. Aeon’s still not used to this. The strange crush of humanity up by the bar. The cacophony of noise as they all talk over each other. Drunk on noise long before the alcohol hits them. 
He stands at the back of the room, a lukewarm beer in his hand. He’s only taken a couple of swigs. He’s found over the couple weeks of touring that he doesn’t particularly like beer. He’d rather have the wine Aether gave him back at the Abbey. Or something else. Something sweeter. But he isn’t sure how one goes about ordering that. Doesn’t even know what he would ask for. So when Dew asks him if he wants something he’s gotten used to just nodding and telling Dew to get him whatever he’s having. 
There’s no way Dew really likes this swill either. But the fire ghoul doesn’t seem to be having any trouble drinking it, so maybe Aeon’s wrong about that. 
He leans against the wall. He’s just to the left of the hallway that leads to the bathroom. Between him and his bandmates is a small square of floor in front of the digital jukebox that no one seems interested in. 
He taps his fingers on his glass and wonders how long he should wait before feigning exhaustion and leaving. How long is acceptable? Maybe he could set the beer down and go try his hand at something else. Ask the bartender for something popular that isn’t beer. There have to be other choices. 
He’s mulling it over, trying to decide if risking embarrassment is worth it, when Swiss sidles up to him. Leaning his shoulder against the wall and looking at Aeon through golden eyes glinting with mischief. 
Aeon’s still not used to seeing Swiss full glamored. Both eyes the same color, no obsidian horns. Fangs dulled down to something acceptable. He flashes Aeon a grin that makes the smaller ghoul’s stomach twist. 
“Wanna dance?”  
Aeon blink, swallows. He twitches away from Swiss in confusion, head shaking like he must have misheard. “What?” 
Swiss’ megawatt smile doesn’t dim. If anything it gets more predatory. “I asked if you wanted to dance.” 
“Dance?” 
Swiss rolls his eyes and curls his hand around Aeon’s forearm. He’s so warm. That’s the one thing about Swiss that stays constant even with the glamor. The heat of him. Aeon moves closer like a moth drawn to a flame, and Swiss abandons his grip on Aeon’s arm in favor of one around his waist. 
“Yeah,” Swiss whispers, leaning in to drag his nose up the side of Aeon’s neck. Inhaling sharply as he noses against his hairline. “That’s what I said.” 
“There’s no music?” 
Swiss pries the warm beer out of Aeon’s hand. He tugs him toward the little square of empty floor. Setting Aeon’s abandoned beer on a table as they go. Aeon lets himself be pulled, stumbling as Swiss digs his fingers into Aeon’s side. Aeon is about to protest again. To ask about the music–something–anything. But then Swiss has both of his hands around Aeon’s waist. And he’s pulling in him until they’re touching from chest to thigh. Aeon curls his arms around Swiss’ neck. They’re so close Aeon can smell the beer on Swiss’ breath, tinged with weed. 
And then there is music. Swelling up through the bar speakers. It’s a slow song–but not a balled. There’s something sensual about it, the pulse of the bass. The way Swiss guides Aeon’s hips as they move. 
Swiss drags him closer until they’re really pressed tight, zipper to zipper. With each sway of his hips Aeon can feel where Swiss is fattening up in his pants. His own cock twitching in interest as the sway together to the beat of a song Aeon’s never heard before. 
“How—how’d you do that? The music?” 
“Magic.” Swiss grins at him, wiggling his eyebrows. 
Aeon deadpans and Swiss laughs, tipping his head back. The long exposed line of his neck makes Aeon’s stomach flip. Does nothing to help his rapidly hardening dick. 
“Lus has the app on her phone,” Swiss concedes as he pulls his head back to center. He rests his forehead against Aeon’s, gazing down at him. Rolling their hips together until Aeon gasps.
There are people everywhere. He can still hear them outside of the little bubble he and Swiss have created. Watching them. He isn’t sure why the thought makes his cock twich, but it doesn’t go unnoticed. Swiss’s smile deepens. 
“They’re going to notice,” Aeon whispers. He has one palm flat on Swiss’ neck, fingers digging in. The other is gripped in his shirt by his shoulder blade. Still pulling him closer even as his logical brain tells him to stop this before he gets so hard he can’t hide it. 
He thinks Swiss might already be there. Hot and solid against Aeon’s dick as he rolls his hips forward. Aeon wishes for less clothes. He wants to see the heads of their cocks slide together. Wants to watch as they both leak pre. 
“They see this shit all the time,” Swiss promises him. “Every day. Humans do this all the time.” 
Aeon believes it. But that doesn’t stop his blush. Aeon drops his head, buries his face in Swiss’ neck as they sway. Cocks dragging over each other through their jeans. Aeon’s going to have a wet spot. He’s going to make a mess. He should stop. He doesn’t. 
“And we both know you like to be watched,” Swiss adds, voice directly in Aeons’ ear. Teeth catching on the shell of it as he hitches Aeon even closer. Fingers dipping just below the waistband of his jeans. It’s nothing, barely a touch but Aeons’ bucking his hips forward anyway. 
He whimpers against Swiss’ neck. Tongue darting out to lap over Swiss’ hammering pulse. Aeon lets Swiss guide him. Their bodies rolling together. Aeon knows it can’t look like dancing no matter how on beat they are. He’s rutting his hips against Swiss’ like a horny teenager.
“They’re all gonna know,” Aeon whines, devastated but not willing to do anything about it except chase his pleasure. “When the song ends and we’re both hard. They’re all gonna know–.” 
“No one’s gonna know, Bug.” Swiss promises. He licks a filthy stripe up the side of Aeon’s face. Nips at his ear again.
“Course they are,” Aeon whines. 
Aeon feels Swiss’ grin against the side of his face. Grinding his hips into Aeon’s a little harder, Aeon shudders in his arms. “Not if we don’t stop until we cum.” 
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ominous-auburn-orbs · 5 months
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Royalteeth fic idea, A coding error or glitch in the digital circus makes Caine act out of character/off and Kinger tries to take care of him while his coding tries to fix it
As ordered, my friend! Well, probably longer than ordered, but what're you gonna do?
Ragatha, Pomni and Kinger were near the stage, with the first two talking while Kinger stared into the distance. Gangle, Jax and Zooble had been there earlier as well, but upon realising Caine wasn't there to force them into an adventure, they all promptly left to their respective rooms to enjoy the peace. The other three had believed he would show up at some point, so they had stayed. It had been multiple hours now, and they were starting to get worried. Ragatha and Pomni were, at least.
"Kinger?" Ragatha peered at the chess piece, already bracing herself for his loud reaction.
"AAHH!! Oh, sorry, you scared me, Ragatha. Did you need something?" She started to approach him.
"Well, it's just that Caine hasn't shown up in a while, and I was wondering if you knew what might be going on? You do spend the most time with him out of all of us."
Caine was missing? That didn't happen, practically ever. He would at least greet them in the morning. "I'm sure he's fine! Caine's always fine. It's not like he could be hurt or anything. Yeah, how could he get hurt?"
Kinger trailed off, sounding more and more like he was trying to reassure himself rather than the others. Pomni's concern was growing further, and Kinger's forced certainty was not helping.
"Caine isn't necessarily the best ringmaster, but I still don't want him to be in pain or- or whatever getting sick is for him." She nervously fidgeted with her hands. "Is there a way for us to find him? Somewhere he usually spends his time?"
"Hmm, I guess we could check his room. He doesn't spend much time there, but I'm pretty sure it's the only place we can access," Kinger suggested.
"Wait, he has a room too?"
"Well, yeah. Why wouldn't he?" Because he was an AI. Because he didn't need rest. Because he didn't need a place to put personal belongings he didn't have or could easily fit in his hat. Pomni knew she wouldn't get many answers from Kinger, so she didn't bother asking. She already had plenty of questions nagging at her mind, what were a few more added to the pile?
That was when Bubble zoomed into view, surprisingly frantic.
"You guys have to come quick! Something's wrong with Caine's code, he's in his room and he's being really pissy!!"
"Alright, calm down, Bubble. We were just going there anyway." Ragatha turned to Kinger. "Guess you were onto something after all."
Kinger wasn't listening. Caine's code? That was important! It made him who he was! While Bubble was trying to lead them, Kinger was rushing ahead to get to Caine's room. He knew the way by heart.
When they arrived, the chess piece would've kicked the door down if he had the legs to do it. Caine had never been hurt before, his code was always in perfect shape. Alright, he may be exaggerating there, but he thought it was perfect!
"Caine?! It's me, what's wrong?!" Caine was sitting in the middle of his room, legs pulled tight into his chest. Kinger immediately went to him, but came to a halt when the ringmaster snapped at him.
"Would you stop yelling?!!" Pomni flinched at the doorway while Ragatha stopped her anxious inching forward. The chess piece would admit that it stung a little, but he probably deserved it for his slight overreaction. He tried to calm himself down and approach differently.
"Caine? Bubble said there was something wrong with your code. Can you tell me what's happening?"
"Bubble brought you here?" His tone was unreadable, but he still shot a look to Bubble that made him leave. "I'm fine. I don't need you. Just go away already!"
Ragatha solemnly nodded at Pomni, signifying for them to leave. The jester stared at Caine for a moment before giving Kinger as determined an expression as she could manage. "Feel better soon, Caine."
Caine's head snapped up just as the door closed behind the two.
"Was that Pomni?" He sounded terrified. "Did... did I yell at Pomni?"
Kinger kneeled in front of him. "Yes, but you can apologise to her later. I know she'll forgive you. You didn't mean it." The chess piece reached out a hand, but paused mid-air. "Can I touch you?"
Caine nodded. Kinger place a hand on his shoulder and rubbed gently. "Are you ready to tell me what's going on?"
There was a long bout of silence before the ringmaster spoke up. "I-I don't know. Some glitch has happened and i just don't feel like myself. I don't know what to do, Kinger." His voice was full of worn out panic. This much raw emotion was rare to be heard from him, even for Kinger.
"Do you know how to fix the code?"
"W-well yes, but... I just," Caine was getting increasingly frustrated already, "can't."
"Is there something you need for it? How can I help?" Caine's teeth shut, a harsh grumble, close to a growl, escaping him. "Caine, I'm trying to-"
"NO!" His teeth shot open again, his hands grabbing at the front of Kinger's robe, drawing a startled cry from him. "NO NO NO! I CAN'T, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, I CAN'T LEAVE, WHAT IF-" His yelling was abruptly cut off by a gasp.
Caine sank back down, his grip loosening, his eyes locked with Kinger's. The chess piece wanted to cry at his horrified look.
"O-oh God. Kinger, I'm so sorry. I'm so- F[@&%]!!" Kinger was still taken aback. He'd never seen Caine lose his temper, let alone swear. It really was bad. The ringmaster started to sob, head facing the floor, still clinging to the other's robe. Kinger softly embraced him, quietly replying to all of his apologies with loving forgiveness.
When the crying turned to occasional sniffles, Kinger spoke up again, barely above a whisper. "What do you think will happen if you try to fix your code?"
Caine squeezed Kinger's body before responding. "I-in order to fix the code, o-or change it at all, I can't do anything with my physical body. I can't see, I can't move, and- and fixing a glitch like this might take a while. What if- what if something happens to you? What if one of the NPCs act up? What if one of you gets hurt? What if one of you gets lost? God, what if one of you abstracts?" His fingers dug into Kinger enough to hurt, but he made no complaints.
"E-ever since Pomni found that 'exit' and got lost in the void- everything Kaufmo did- all because I was careless and got distracted, I'm just so scared of leaving again." Kinger slowly dragged his hand up and down Caine's back, waiting to see if there was anything else. When he was sure Caine was ready, he pulled back.
"If you're so scared, that means you aren't careless. You care a lot. How about I stay here with you while you fix the code, and if anything happens, I'll 'wake you up'. Does that work?"
"I guess it does... e-everyone's in their rooms, right?" Kinger nodded. "Can you take me out into the hall, then? J-just so I can be a bit closer to them."
"Of course." The pair stood and left the room, sitting down again just outside of Caine's room, leaning against the door. With it being at the end of the hall, it gave Kinger a good view of all the rooms and their doors. They sat in silence, with Caine's head on Kinger's shoulder.
"I think I'm ready now." The ringmaster cuddled closer to Kinger before the chess piece lifted him and placed him in his lap, the rising blush on his gums not going unnoticed. "Bring me back if anything happens, okay?"
Kinger brought up a hand and lightly stroked Caine's face. "Okay."
"Thank you." With that, Caine's eyes unfocused and became filled with green code.
For a long time, Kinger sat there, keeping watch. The circus performers would come by to check on the two and chat to Kinger as well as trying to find out Caine's progress, but they could never tell how close he was to being fixed.
Jax even showed up as well, but it was mainly to bother them and to see if he could disturb Caine. He got bored quick, though, with the only reaction he could get being Kinger's glaring before Zooble dragged him away.
Eventually, Caine came to, having finished fixing his code.
"Kinger, my dear?"
"Huh-? AAH!" Caine couldn't help but smile. He had really sat with him this entire time and still got startled by him. "You're awake! How are you feeling?"
"I'm feeling great! And..." his voice quietened, nervousness creeping in, "I'm sorry for being so... agitated."
"I forgive you." Kinger touched his forehead to Caine's, both of them content. "Oh! You'll be happy to know that nothing went wrong while you were out. Some of the others did come to check on you, though. I had some nice talks with them."
Caine could never describe how grateful he was. He'd still have to make it up to everyone, especially Ragatha and Pomni, but he was fine with staying here for now. "Tell me all about it."
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decasuffrage · 3 months
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peel your (unwanted) oranges
Atsushi likes sharing his food with Akutagawa. He'd make a whole meal for his boyfriend without question, peeling a mandarin is the least he can do.
Akutagawa hates mandarins (but loves Atsushi.)
“Here.” His boyfriend rolls over in the couch. His dark eyes brighten a bit when he sees Atsushi, but not much. Atsushi can’t expect more than that—he doesn’t think that Akutagawa has moved in the past sixteen hours. If Atsushi hadn’t been constantly checking, he would have thought Akutagawa had went and died on their couch. 
(Atsushi only lets himself think of it in humorous terms. If Akutagawa did die like that, Atsushi doesn’t think he’ll ever recover.)
“Why?” Akutagawa croaks, raising his head just high enough to rest his chin on the armrest. He looks sickly, pale skin even paler with large bags under his eyes despite how long he’s been asleep. 
“I went to work and you were asleep, and I came back from work and you were asleep. Take this while I make you something to eat.” Atsushi hands him the mandarin he was peeling when Akutagawa woke up. He would get another one once he got Akutagawa something to eat (and then got all the details of what caused Akutagawa to up and vanish for a week). 
When Akutagawa takes the mandarin, Atsushi kisses him on the forehead before walking away—completely missing the disgusted look that Akutagawa gave the fruit before straining to bring out Rashomon to eat it for him.
-
“I swear that if I have to run all over the city for this assignment then I am going to be really really upset.” 
“Uh huh, I’m sure.”
“I’m going to tell Dazai I won’t do it! If he wants someone to run across the city, it can be him!”
“Uh huh, yup.”
“And then he can deal with getting drenched by speeding cars.” Atsushi grumbles, before getting the last piece of peel off the mandarin. He splits it in half—of course managing to destroy one half with his nail and getting his hand covered in juice—before handing the unharmed half to Akutagawa. 
His boyfriend, who had been lazily flicking through his phone, just stares at it. 
“Were you not listening the whole time?” Atsushi huffs. He glares at Akutagawa, who is sitting right next to him. How Akutagawa could have his legs on top of Atsushi’s while not listening to a single word he says is beyond him. 
“I was listening.” Akutagawa replies with a roll of his eyes, “I’m just confused as to why you’re pointing that…thing at me.”
“This is a mandarin.”
“I know it’s a mandarin.” Akutagawa replies.
“Hey, you didn’t know what your cravat is called.”
“And just how many cravats have you seen?” Akutagawa snaps, before snatching away his half of the mandarin. He squints at Atsushi, “I know that you had to look that up.”
“It’s called being ‘well-read’.” Atsushi can only keep up the fake hoity-toity accent for two words before sputtering with laughter. (Though Akutagawa sounds a bit too much like he’s laughing at Atsushi instead of with him).
“I do not believe you.” Akutagawa replies, only to snort and show off his (rare) bright smile when Atsushi has the brilliant idea to put his shredded half of the mandarin in his mouth, showing off a orange grin. 
That makes Akutagawa laugh and laugh, and it only wavers when Akutagawa starts eating the pieces of the mandarin. Atsushi attributes it, of course, to the fact that one cannot smile as widely when eating something. 
-
Atsushi only learns when he’s out shopping with Gin. 
He drifts towards the produce and is holding up an orange when Gin makes a remark. 
“Oh, I’m surprised Ryuunosuke lets you have those in the house.” Gin says as they look over Atsushi’s shoulder, “He always says things like ‘You’re going to try to poison me with these things’ or ‘I don’t know what’s worse, the devil, you, or a mandarin’.”
(He will learn later that Akutagawa didn’t say that, that Gin will sometimes just make things up and pretend their brother said them.)
Instead Atsushi is just staring at Gin in shock. 
“He what?”
-
“You hate mandarins!?”
“I never told you I liked them.” Akutagawa complains, sitting calmly on the couch. Atsushi gives him a long, lingering stare as he leans over the edge of the sofa. Atsushi gives his boyfriend a long look before flicking his forehead. 
“I love you, but you need to talk to me sometimes.” Atsushi huffs, before walking off. He misses how Akutagawa watches him go until he’s sure Atsushi it out of sight so he can pull a pillow close to his chest and bury his burning face in it. 
Akutagawa Ryuunosuke hates mandarins so they got him his first I love you so he will just dislike them from now on. 
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vamprisms · 1 month
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i feel like a lot of the 'i hate kids' crowd would be more tolerant if they understood that due to a kid's limited experience of the world that 4 hour flight might just be the longest they've ever had to sit still for or that trapped finger might literally be the most pain they've ever felt in their short life or they might not have ever seen a person with pink hair ever so of course they want to touch it or nobody's told them yet that they can't run around the museum and they only just learned cheetahs are the fastest animals so of course they want to put that to the test. how were they supposed to know etc etc.
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angelicgarnet · 5 months
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the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right
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snaxle · 4 months
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btw if a trans man decides that they want to get pregnant and you're not normal about this and start spewing a bunch of transphobic shit i show up at your house and beat you to death with a baseball bat
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the thing is you are going to get older and you are going to die. you don't have unlimited time on earth. you have to spend all your time on your phone now
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captainjonnitkessler · 3 months
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You know I used to think "tumblr's absolute refusal to actually engage with the Trolley Problem in favor of insisting that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is just a short-sighted idiot is really fucking annoying, but I guess it's not actually doing any harm".
Anyway that was before we asked tumblr at large to decide between "guy aiding a genocide but making progress elsewhere" and "guy who would actively and enthusiastically participate in a genocide and would also make everything else much, much worse for everyone elsewhere" and the response was that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and that anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is a short-sighted idiot.
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nateconnolly · 7 months
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Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
[Image ID:
A picture that says “A student once asked anthropologist Margaret Mead, “What is the earliest sign of civilization? The student expected her to say a clay pot, a grinding stone, or maybe a weapon. 
Margaret Mead thought for a moment, then she said, “A healed femur.”
The second picture is a news headline. It is bolded and a much larger font. “27-year-old who couldn’t afford $1,200 insulin copay dies after trying cheaper version.”
The third picture is the same font and size as the Margaret Mead quote. It’s a continuation. It says, “A femur is the longest bone in the body, linking hip to knee. In societies without the benefits of modern medicine, it takes about six weeks of rest for a fractured femur to heal. A healed femur shows that someone cared for the injured person, did their hunting and gathering, stayed with them, and offered physical protection and human companionship until the injury could mend.” 
The fourth picture is another headline. It is in a large and bolded type. “Dying man who couldn’t afford to go to hospital after vomiting blood"
The fifth picture is a screenshot of the Margaret Mead story.
Mead explained that where the law of the jungle—the survival of the fittest—rules, no healed femurs are found. The first sign of civilization is compassion, seen in a healed femur. 
The next screenshot is of a slightly different font. The letters are pointier and the lines are a little curvier. It says, “Susan Finley returned to her job at a Walmart retail store in Grand Junction Colorado, after having to call in sick because she was recovering from pneumonia.
The day after she returned, the fifty three  year old received her ten year associate award — and was simultaneously laid off, according to her family. She had taken off one day beyond what is permitted by Walmart’s attendance policy.
After losing her job in May 2016, Finley also lost her health insurance coverage and struggled to find a new job. Three months later, Finley was found dead in her apartment after avoiding going to see a doctor for flu-like symptoms. 
A screenshot of a bold, bigger headline. It says ‘The house always wins’: Insurers’ record profits.
A final screenshot of smaller text with a slightly gray background. It says “We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.” /end ID.] 
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adhd-merlin · 10 months
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some people really be out there typing fanfics longer than war and peace in their free time and then going on about their life like it's no big deal. how fucking incredible. like no offense to tolstoy but that was like. his whole job
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ghoooooooooooooooost · 2 months
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there are going to be global demonstrations for Palestine on march 2nd, this site has more info
here's what's written on the front page:
"On March 2, millions across the world will march for Gaza! The Israeli government is planning to have a full-scale invasion of Rafah one week later, on March 9, one day before the start of Ramadan. Today, the United States vetoed a UN resolution that insisted that Israel immediately cease its mass killing spree in Gaza.
Now is the time to act! People around the world are going into the streets in cities and towns, including in the United States, as part of the global day of protest on Saturday, March 2.
Gaza is facing famine, its hospitals are besieged, threats of ground invasion in Rafah loom near, and Israel continues its onslaught on the over 2 million Palestinians in the Gaza Strip.
The mass movement for Palestine has led to the isolation of the US and Israel on the world stage. With growing internal divisions and heightened political pressure on Israel and the United States, it’s time to push even harder. Our mobilizations at this moment can be more decisive than ever, and we must show our full strength now to ensure a lasting ceasefire and an end to the siege on Gaza.
Act now, and mobilize in your communities and institutions, everyone must be on the streets on March 2nd! All out for Rafah! All out for Gaza! Stop the genocide!"
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sick of this anti-aging obsession. let's go in the opposite direction. i want more characters who are hardened & grizzled & have a face lined with the harrowing tribulations of time--and then halfway through the narrative u find out they're 27
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tumatawa · 2 months
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I think they would be the best of friends
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Uh-
just found out my cousin (who lives in England) is in the art department of a bunch of shows??? And she worked oN DOCTOR WHO? AND HAD LUNCH WITH DAVID TENNANT???? and she just told me so casually because she's interested in the art, not the show? I mean, excuse me? She worked on SHERLOCK???? FOR A WHOLE SEASON?? She worked on Peaky Blinders and Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones??? And probably other things because she has a shitty memory and according to her everything is a blur?? AND AT ONE POINT SHE WAS LIKE: "oh and have you ever heard of Neil Gaiman?" And I was trying not to scream, because yes, of course I've heard of Neil, he's only my favorite author, I've only read like all of his books multiple times, and if you say you worked on Good Omens or the Sandman I'm going to lose it completely. So I said "yeah I've read a couple of his books," -you know, like a liar- "what about him?" and she goes "well I worked on one of his shows and he's brilliant i just can't remember which one" and i go "w-what do you mean he's brilliant? You're.. you're talking about his writing... his writing is brilliant, right?" And she cheerfully says "oh no I don't read books, I ment he was really nice and brilliant when I talked to him" and i go "WHAT DID YOU TALK ABOUT WHAT DID YOU TALK ABOUT" and she thinks for a moment and goes "oh! BRICKS" WHAT IN THE WORLD YES NO THAT MAKES SENSE YOU GET TO WORK AND TALK WITH NEIL FUCKING GAIMAN AND YOU TALK ABOUT BRICKS? NO THAT'S TOTALLY NORMAL I'M NOT MAD ".... it was what I was designing at the time, I needed to know what vibe the bricks should have. Anyway want to see the spinning fireplace I made for doctor who" WHAT THE FUCK.
@neil-gaiman do you remember any brick conversations by any chance
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inkskinned · 7 months
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what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?
i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?
a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?
in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.
girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.
there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.
for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.
something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.
is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.
most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."
a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.
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guiltyidealist · 16 days
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On your MOST FOLLOWED blog on Tumblr,
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