#few times have I cooked such a substantial amount

[ominous-auburn-orbs]

Royalteeth fic idea, A coding error or glitch in the digital circus makes Caine act out of character/off and Kinger tries to take care of him while his coding tries to fix it

As ordered, my friend! Well, probably longer than ordered, but what're you gonna do?

Ragatha, Pomni and Kinger were near the stage, with the first two talking while Kinger stared into the distance. Gangle, Jax and Zooble had been there earlier as well, but upon realising Caine wasn't there to force them into an adventure, they all promptly left to their respective rooms to enjoy the peace. The other three had believed he would show up at some point, so they had stayed. It had been multiple hours now, and they were starting to get worried. Ragatha and Pomni were, at least.

"Kinger?" Ragatha peered at the chess piece, already bracing herself for his loud reaction.

"AAHH!! Oh, sorry, you scared me, Ragatha. Did you need something?" She started to approach him.

"Well, it's just that Caine hasn't shown up in a while, and I was wondering if you knew what might be going on? You do spend the most time with him out of all of us."

Caine was missing? That didn't happen, practically ever. He would at least greet them in the morning. "I'm sure he's fine! Caine's always fine. It's not like he could be hurt or anything. Yeah, how could he get hurt?"

Kinger trailed off, sounding more and more like he was trying to reassure himself rather than the others. Pomni's concern was growing further, and Kinger's forced certainty was not helping.

"Caine isn't necessarily the best ringmaster, but I still don't want him to be in pain or- or whatever getting sick is for him." She nervously fidgeted with her hands. "Is there a way for us to find him? Somewhere he usually spends his time?"

"Hmm, I guess we could check his room. He doesn't spend much time there, but I'm pretty sure it's the only place we can access," Kinger suggested.

"Wait, he has a room too?"

"Well, yeah. Why wouldn't he?" Because he was an AI. Because he didn't need rest. Because he didn't need a place to put personal belongings he didn't have or could easily fit in his hat. Pomni knew she wouldn't get many answers from Kinger, so she didn't bother asking. She already had plenty of questions nagging at her mind, what were a few more added to the pile?

That was when Bubble zoomed into view, surprisingly frantic.

"You guys have to come quick! Something's wrong with Caine's code, he's in his room and he's being really pissy!!"

"Alright, calm down, Bubble. We were just going there anyway." Ragatha turned to Kinger. "Guess you were onto something after all."

Kinger wasn't listening. Caine's code? That was important! It made him who he was! While Bubble was trying to lead them, Kinger was rushing ahead to get to Caine's room. He knew the way by heart.

When they arrived, the chess piece would've kicked the door down if he had the legs to do it. Caine had never been hurt before, his code was always in perfect shape. Alright, he may be exaggerating there, but he thought it was perfect!

"Caine?! It's me, what's wrong?!" Caine was sitting in the middle of his room, legs pulled tight into his chest. Kinger immediately went to him, but came to a halt when the ringmaster snapped at him.

"Would you stop yelling?!!" Pomni flinched at the doorway while Ragatha stopped her anxious inching forward. The chess piece would admit that it stung a little, but he probably deserved it for his slight overreaction. He tried to calm himself down and approach differently.

"Caine? Bubble said there was something wrong with your code. Can you tell me what's happening?"

"Bubble brought you here?" His tone was unreadable, but he still shot a look to Bubble that made him leave. "I'm fine. I don't need you. Just go away already!"

Ragatha solemnly nodded at Pomni, signifying for them to leave. The jester stared at Caine for a moment before giving Kinger as determined an expression as she could manage. "Feel better soon, Caine."

Caine's head snapped up just as the door closed behind the two.

"Was that Pomni?" He sounded terrified. "Did... did I yell at Pomni?"

Kinger kneeled in front of him. "Yes, but you can apologise to her later. I know she'll forgive you. You didn't mean it." The chess piece reached out a hand, but paused mid-air. "Can I touch you?"

Caine nodded. Kinger place a hand on his shoulder and rubbed gently. "Are you ready to tell me what's going on?"

There was a long bout of silence before the ringmaster spoke up. "I-I don't know. Some glitch has happened and i just don't feel like myself. I don't know what to do, Kinger." His voice was full of worn out panic. This much raw emotion was rare to be heard from him, even for Kinger.

"Do you know how to fix the code?"

"W-well yes, but... I just," Caine was getting increasingly frustrated already, "can't."

"Is there something you need for it? How can I help?" Caine's teeth shut, a harsh grumble, close to a growl, escaping him. "Caine, I'm trying to-"

"NO!" His teeth shot open again, his hands grabbing at the front of Kinger's robe, drawing a startled cry from him. "NO NO NO! I CAN'T, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, I CAN'T LEAVE, WHAT IF-" His yelling was abruptly cut off by a gasp.

Caine sank back down, his grip loosening, his eyes locked with Kinger's. The chess piece wanted to cry at his horrified look.

"O-oh God. Kinger, I'm so sorry. I'm so- F[@&%]!!" Kinger was still taken aback. He'd never seen Caine lose his temper, let alone swear. It really was bad. The ringmaster started to sob, head facing the floor, still clinging to the other's robe. Kinger softly embraced him, quietly replying to all of his apologies with loving forgiveness.

When the crying turned to occasional sniffles, Kinger spoke up again, barely above a whisper. "What do you think will happen if you try to fix your code?"

Caine squeezed Kinger's body before responding. "I-in order to fix the code, o-or change it at all, I can't do anything with my physical body. I can't see, I can't move, and- and fixing a glitch like this might take a while. What if- what if something happens to you? What if one of the NPCs act up? What if one of you gets hurt? What if one of you gets lost? God, what if one of you abstracts?" His fingers dug into Kinger enough to hurt, but he made no complaints.

"E-ever since Pomni found that 'exit' and got lost in the void- everything Kaufmo did- all because I was careless and got distracted, I'm just so scared of leaving again." Kinger slowly dragged his hand up and down Caine's back, waiting to see if there was anything else. When he was sure Caine was ready, he pulled back.

"If you're so scared, that means you aren't careless. You care a lot. How about I stay here with you while you fix the code, and if anything happens, I'll 'wake you up'. Does that work?"

"I guess it does... e-everyone's in their rooms, right?" Kinger nodded. "Can you take me out into the hall, then? J-just so I can be a bit closer to them."

"Of course." The pair stood and left the room, sitting down again just outside of Caine's room, leaning against the door. With it being at the end of the hall, it gave Kinger a good view of all the rooms and their doors. They sat in silence, with Caine's head on Kinger's shoulder.

"I think I'm ready now." The ringmaster cuddled closer to Kinger before the chess piece lifted him and placed him in his lap, the rising blush on his gums not going unnoticed. "Bring me back if anything happens, okay?"

Kinger brought up a hand and lightly stroked Caine's face. "Okay."

"Thank you." With that, Caine's eyes unfocused and became filled with green code.

For a long time, Kinger sat there, keeping watch. The circus performers would come by to check on the two and chat to Kinger as well as trying to find out Caine's progress, but they could never tell how close he was to being fixed.

Jax even showed up as well, but it was mainly to bother them and to see if he could disturb Caine. He got bored quick, though, with the only reaction he could get being Kinger's glaring before Zooble dragged him away.

Eventually, Caine came to, having finished fixing his code.

"Kinger, my dear?"

"Huh-? AAH!" Caine couldn't help but smile. He had really sat with him this entire time and still got startled by him. "You're awake! How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling great! And..." his voice quietened, nervousness creeping in, "I'm sorry for being so... agitated."

"I forgive you." Kinger touched his forehead to Caine's, both of them content. "Oh! You'll be happy to know that nothing went wrong while you were out. Some of the others did come to check on you, though. I had some nice talks with them."

Caine could never describe how grateful he was. He'd still have to make it up to everyone, especially Ragatha and Pomni, but he was fine with staying here for now. "Tell me all about it."

#the amazing digital circus #caine x kinger #royalteeth #kinger x caine #kingleader #few times have I cooked such a substantial amount #I actually based Caine's behaviour off of my experience with meltdowns #I refuse to read this again so if there are any errors just sshhhhh #no there aren't

[tigertales9]

Hard Reset XII

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader

Warnings: 18+

Description: This flashback fic covers Joe & Reader's first Valentine's Day together back at LSU. There's also another flashback nestled within this flashback (Joeception) of when they first met at LSU.

Time/Place: Thursday, Feb. 14, 2019 (Valentine's Day) / Baton Rouge, Louisiana (with a flashback to June 2018)

A/N: This is the twelfth fic in the Hard Reset series.

This flashback got too long so I'm posting it in two parts. The smut is in the second part, but I'm rating this 18+ because it's smut adjacent. I'm hoping to have the next chapter up before this week-end. The smut has been finished for awhile, but I'm just trying to put the finishing touches on the ending. Nothing is coming easy right now, but I refuse to give up. 😋

I've had a few messages asking me if LSU Joe has long or short hair in this flashback. In my mind, he has short hair with the forehead curls (see gif below). I've tried to keep the descriptions ambiguous just in case y'all wanna imagine him with the longer hair.

Since I posted the first part of this as a sneak peek, I put a substantial (bold) cut so you can scroll down and start reading the new content w/o re-reading the sneak peek if you don't want to.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Thursday, Feb. 14, 2019 (Valentine's Day) / Baton Rouge, Louisiana

You exit the cool interior of the grocery store, squinting at the mid-afternoon sun as you quickly make your way to your car, popping the trunk and loading a few bags of groceries inside before hopping into the driver's seat; you slide your sunglasses on and head for the exit, looking both ways before easing out into the traffic on River Road, rolling your windows down and throwing a quick glance at the Mississippi River as it runs parallel to the street, its earthy, fertile scent bringing a smile to your face.

"70 degrees in mid-February!" you mimic in Joe's voice, laughing at the accuracy of your impersonation. "He's def gonna bitch about it," you continue, flicking your turn signal on a few minutes later before making the turn that will take you away from the river and toward your apartment complex.

~ ~ ~

An hour later, you're whipping up some homemade frosting when your bestie/roommate Gina walks in, sniffing the air dramatically.

"Smells like heaven," she groans, eyeing the fluffy pink concoction as you finish beating it with a mixer. "What is it?"

"Raspberry buttercream frosting," you answer, grabbing two spoons and scooping some frosting on each before handing her one. "How's it taste?" you ask, laughing when she makes loud, appreciative noises.

"Delish! I can't believe you made homemade frosting," she marvels. "What ya gonna put it on?"

"Chocolate cupcakes." You step back and wave a hand at the plump cupcakes sitting pretty on a cooling rack beside the oven. "I made these from a triple chocolate cake mix, so they're just semi-homemade."

"Oh, just semi-homemade? I better call the food police," she teases, walking over and leaning down to sniff the cupcakes before throwing you a look. "I hope Joe realizes how lucky he is to have a woman who loves to cook."

"He's very appreciative," you mutter, blushing when she cackles at the look on your face.

"Seven months in and you're still blushing over this man? He's def doing something right."

"Not gonna argue with that," you giggle, peeling the wrapper off one of the still-warm cupcakes before cutting it in half; you smear a generous amount of frosting on both halves before handing one to Gina. "Happy V Day," you state, bumping your cupcake half against hers before taking a big bite. "Happy V Day," she parrots, making num-num noises as she polishes off the confection.

"What are you and Trey doing tonight?" you ask, licking a dollop of frosting off your finger as she rolls her eyes.

"He's bringing take-out over because he waited too long to make a reservation, so literally everywhere decent is booked up. I told him if he brings wings or pizza, he can forget about getting any pussy."

You laugh along with her for a bit before quieting down. "So what did y'all decide on since wings and pizza is clearly a no go?"

"Nothing," she shrugs. "I'm tired of having to ask for things I want. After almost a year and a half together, he should know without me telling him. He's just gotten lazy and expects me to do all the work and make all the decisions. He mostly just sits and scrolls his phone when we're together unless I tell him what to do."

"I hear you. -- So what do you actually want for dinner tonight?"

She thinks for several seconds before answering. "I know it's basic as hell, but I'd love some lasagna and breadsticks from Olive Garden."

"Might be basic but still delicious." You give her a wink as you cover the bowl of frosting with plastic wrap and place it in the fridge. "I made enough cupcakes to share with you and Trey," you continue. "Once they cool completely, I'll frost them for you."

"Thanks, but I might hoard 'em for myself if he shows up with McDonald's or some shit."

You walk out of the kitchen and head toward your bedroom, beckoning Gina to follow. "He's not gonna show up with McDonald's," you scoff, pulling the top drawer of your dresser open to grab two pair of panties, one pink and one red, both with tags still attached.

"What are these?" she asks, eyebrows rising when you hand her the red pair.

"I ordered them a couple of weeks ago. I was starting to think they wouldn't arrive in time, but they got here yesterday. Happy V Day!"

"Thanks, girl!" She holds the flimsy mesh thong up to her face, grinning at you through the gossamer fabric. "These are totally see-through," she giggles, "and that center seam on the crotch is gonna give major camel toe."

"Exactly," you purr, wiggling your blush-pink thong that's identical to hers except for the color. "Next best thing to crotchless without being crotchless."

"Oh shit, that reminds me of the crotchless panties I gave you as a gift!" she chirps. "You wore them for Halloween, right?"

"Yep, Joe totally wrecked them."

"That ain't the only thing he wrecked," she chortles. "You were def walking funny the next day."

You join in the laughter for a sec before speaking. "I mean, yeah, he beat it up for real, but the limp I had was mostly because I tweaked my groin from doing the splits on his face without stretching first. Didn't even realize it until the next day."

"No way!" she hollers, falling onto your bed and kicking her feet in the air while cackling. "Hold up," she gasps after several seconds, pointing at your yoga mat that's rolled up and leaning against the wall in the corner of your room. "Wasn't it just after Halloween when you got majorly into yoga?"

"Maybe," you shrug, grinning ear-to-ear as she mentally connects the dots.

"I thought you were just trying something new since you already do cardio and strength training, but you've actually been getting more limber for sex?"

"Yep, don't wanna pull a muscle."

"You lucky bitch! I can't even get Trey to pull my hair during sex much less pull a damn muscle!"

The look on her face causes you to throw yourself on the bed beside her, both of you roaring with laughter until your phone rings.

"Oh shit, it's Joe," you wheeze as you check the display, gasping for breath to try and get yourself under control before answering. "Hey babe," you manage before immediately dissolving into another fit of giggles.

"Hey," he answers, his voice slightly bemused. "You okay?"

"Y … yeah," you pant, biting your lip hard enough to hurt before cutting a side-eye at Gina, her ridic, bug-eyed expression causing you to snort loudly before howling with laughter.

"Are you laughing or crying?" Joe asks.

"Laugh … ing," you wheeze, taking in copious gulps of air as Gina grabs a pillow and rolls off the bed and onto the floor, using the pillow to muffle her laughter.

"What the hell, babe?" he asks, sounding slightly worried. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." You take a few deep breaths before continuing. "Gina said something funny right before you called."

"Are y'all drunk?"

"No, daddy, we haven't been underage drinking."

"I don't give a shit about underage drinking and you know it. I mean, you'll be 21 in less than three months."

"You sound kinda pissed," you pout, smiling at his heavy sigh.

"I'm not pissed, and I don't care if you've been drinking. Matter of fact, I've got two bottles of your fav blush wine chilling in my fridge for tonight, I just don't want you drinking and driving. Let me know if I need to come get you."

"I haven't been drinking," you reiterate. "I'm putting you on speaker," you continue. "Gina? Have we been drinking?"

"We have not been drinking!" she states loudly from the floor.

"Told ya, daddy," you gloat in your brattiest voice.

"If you call me daddy one more time, we're gonna have a problem."

"You gonna punish me?" you purr. "Maybe ground me for a week?"

"Maybe bend you over, pull your panties down and spank your sweet ass before burying my tongue in your …"

"You're on speaker!" you yelp, laughing as Gina hops up and sprints for the door, throwing you a naughty smirk on the way out.

"Sorry. Got a little carried away," Joe mutters.

"It's fine. Gina ran like hell, but you didn't say anything super raunchy."

"Only because you interrupted me."

"I mean … we were talking about sex when you called."

"Ummm, do I even wanna know the deets since you were laughing so hard you could barely breathe?"

"Just that I got into yoga so I could be super limber for sex with you. You frequently get me in positions where my knees are pushed up by my ears or I'm basically doing the splits."

"What's funny about that?"

"Nothing. I'll tell you more later."

"You like it when I manhandle you a little, right?"

You smile at his uncertain tone. "I love it. You know I love it. The funny part was her reaction. Apparently, Trey doesn't get down like that so she was expressing her, ummm, frustration. The look on her face was what set me off."

"Does Trey know he's a boring lay?"

"Probably not," you giggle, "and don't you dare tell him."

"I hardly ever talk to him. He's been aggravated at me ever since Gina told him I pay for your monthly bikini wax, and now he feels like he has to do the same for her. I told him it's only fair since getting your pubes ripped out is no fun, and it's at least partially being done for his pleasure."

"He can be a little self-centered."

"A little?" Joe snorts.

"Okay, a lot. Gina loves him, though, so hopefully he grows out of it eventually."

"Wouldn't put money on it, but anyway … how's your day going?"

"Good. My classes were boring, as usual, but I have zero homework so that's good. Also, I picked up all the groceries I need to cook dinner for us tonight."

"Did you have any trouble using my credit card?"

You chew on your lip for a second before answering. "I didn't use it."

"Why not?"

"Because I wanted to treat you for once; you always pay for stuff."

"Listen … you go to the store, bring stuff to my place and cook delicious food for us. The least I can do is pay for the groceries."

"Just let me treat you this one time. It's part of my Valentine's Day gift to you."

"We'll see," he mumbles. "Do you need any help getting everything to my place?"

"Nah, I think I can manage the grueling five minute drive by myself," you snark.

"You gonna be a little shit all night, or is this just an appetizer?"

"Just an appetizer," you giggle. "I intend to be way worse later."

"Don't threaten me with a good time."

"It's a promise not a threat," you purr.

"Woman, I need to go work-out, and I don't wanna hit the gym with a hard-on. Can we save the sexy banter for later?"

"Yes, sir," you drawl, putting as much implied sex in the two syllables as possible.

"Keep that same energy for later tonight," he orders, his voice dropping an octave like it always does when he's aroused.

"Yes, sirrrr," you repeat, giggling at his exasperated groan.

"One more 'daddy' or 'sir' out of your pretty mouth, and I'm gonna skip the gym and drive straight to your place."

"No, you won't," you tease. "You're religious about getting your work-outs in."

"Listen, I'm gonna hit the gym, come home, eat dinner with you, then fuck you 'til you can't think straight. Then I'm gonna reload and fuck you again."

"Sounds good," you whisper, a sizzle of anticipation racing down your spine.

"What time are you coming over?" he asks, his voice still thick with arousal.

"Probably about 5:00."

"I'll be back from the gym by 5:30."

"Okay."

"And, babe?"

"Yeah?"

"I intend to go hard so make sure to take your vitamins and stretch."

"Yes, sir," you whimper, ending the call before he can say anything else. "He's def gonna make me pay for that later," you giggle to yourself, hopping off the bed to go find Gina.

* * * end of sneak peek * * *

You find Gina sitting on the sofa when you walk into the living area. "Hey," you grin, plopping down beside her. "Hope we didn't gross you out."

"Not a bit," she laughs, handing you a small gift bag. "It's your fav bath bomb and some chocolate-covered almonds," she continues as you peek into the bag.

"Thank you! That's so sweet." You give her a hug before setting the bag on the coffee table.

"You're welcome. So, you and Joe are staying in tonight, right?"

"Yeah, we don't like going out on holiday nights because of the big crowds."

"Y'all are always on the same wavelength," she smiles. "What are you cooking for him? Besides the cupcakes?"

"His fav spicy Cajun pasta plus garlic bread and salad."

"Is that the pasta that has blackened chicken, shrimp and andouille sausage in it?"

"Yep."

"Yum! That's what I want you to make for my 21st birthday dinner. I've been craving it for a while."

"I mean, I can make it for you sooner than that if you're jonesing. We don't have to wait a whole month until your birthday."

She gives you a smile as she shakes her head. "It'll be worth the wait. Besides, I'm prob gonna be eating a fucking Big Mac and fries for dinner tonight, so I need to let my digestive system recover before I gobble down that delish pasta."

"You're not eating a fucking Big Mac and fries," you laugh, grabbing your phone and hitting a number before putting it on speaker.

"Hey Y/n," Trey drawls. "What's up?"

"Hey." You smile at Gina's surprised expression before continuing. "Listen, lasagna and breadsticks from Olive Garden."

"Ummm, what?"

"You're bringing dinner to Gina for Valentine's, right?"

"Yeah."

"Lasagna and breadsticks from Olive Garden."

"For real?"

"Yep."

"Okay, cool. -- Anything else?"

"Just … remember that Valentine's Day is about romance." You grin at Gina as she bugs her eyes out at you. "Turn your damn phone off and seduce your woman."

"Did she tell you to say that?"

"No, but I've heard her grumble at you a few times lately about constantly being on your phone when y'all are together."

"That's true," he mumbles. "I def need to be better about that."

"Tonight is the perfect time to start."

"Okaaay, so lasagna, breadsticks, seduction and stay off the phone?"

"Yep."

"Got it."

"Cool. Have a nice night." You end the call and level a no-nonsense look at Gina. "Okay, girl, I did my part. You gotta take the reins once he gets here."

"What do you mean?"

"You got a fresh coochie wax and some naughty panties. Put him on his back and sit on his face."

"For real?"

"Yes! I think he's too shy to initiate that kind of action, but I bet he'll be totally into it if you take control."

"I … don't know."

"He goes down on you, right?"

"Yeah, but not like that."

"Not yet," you purr, wiggling your eyebrows.

She gives you a look before taking a deep breath. "I'm gonna try it."

"Yes!" you chirp. "Just make sure you stretch first."

"I will," she giggles, her eyes going wide when the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it," you state, quickly heading to the front door and checking the peephole before opening it. "Wow!" you gush, smiling at the sight of a vase full of blush-pink roses; a head pops out from behind the beautiful arrangement. "Delivery for Y/n," the delivery driver says, giving you a cheerful smile as you reach for the vase.

"That's me."

"I got one more delivery for this address," she says. "Be right back."

You're grinning ear-to-ear when you walk back into the living room.

"Those are gorgeous!" Gina gushes.

"For real! Listen, you need to go to the door; the delivery driver is bringing another arrangement." She gives you a 'say what?' look before heading to the front door.

You set the glass vase on the kitchen island and open the card, reading it out loud. "Happy first Valentine's Day! Can't wait to celebrate many more together. Love, Joe."

You're still smiling when Gina walks in with a vase full of red roses. "Gurrrrl," she chuckles. "I know you told Trey to send these to me."

"I didn't! Swear to God!"

"Really? 'Cause it's kinda cray that Joe and Trey sent the same flowers -- just a diff color -- from the same florist."

You nod your head for a bit before a thought hits you. "I wonder if Joe said something to Trey? If he did, he didn't tell me."

"Call him and ask him."

"Okay," you grin, heading for your bedroom. "Be right back." You close your bedroom door and hit Joe's number, hoping he isn't already working out.

"Hey," he answers almost immediately.

"Hey," you echo. "Thanks for the roses. I love them."

"You're welcome."

"Can you talk for a sec?"

"Yeah. I just got to the gym, but I haven't started working out yet."

"Did you tell Trey to send Gina flowers?"

"Uhhh, no. He called me a few days ago and asked if I was sending you flowers. I said yes and told him what I was sending and the name of the florist. Why?"

"She got the same arrangement you sent me but with red roses instead of pink."

"Well, good for Trey. Maybe there's hope for him after all."

"Maybe so," you grin, dropping your voice a bit. "I really love the roses. Can't wait to thank you for them later. They're gorgeous."

"You're gorgeous," he murmurs.

"You better go get your work-out done so you can hurry up and get home."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Don't expend all of your energy, okay? Save some for me."

"Don't worry about that. I got plenty," he boasts, his cocky tone bringing a smile to your face.

You end the call and walk back into the living area, giving Gina a huge grin as she waits for the deets. "Joe didn't tell Trey to send the roses."

"Really?"

"Really." You explain the situation while she shakes her head.

"Damn, I guess he was afraid Joe would show him up," she giggles.

"A little healthy competition can be a good thing," you state, laughing along with her for several seconds before y'all quiet down. "I should've got Joe a couple more things for V Day," you mumble.

"Whaaaat?" she chirps. "You're cooking him dinner and dessert, plus you're supplying the naughty panties and the contents of said panties."

"That's true," you chuckle, "plus I got him a jigsaw puzzle to remind him of the first … well ... actually the second time he asked me out."

"You mean the second time you shot him down?"

"Yeah," you grin, letting your mind rewind back to June 2018.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Early June 2018 - Baton Rouge, Louisiana (in a small bookstore just off LSU campus)

You take a sip of your iced coffee and scowl at your computer screen, hitting your delete key several times while barely registering the sound of the bell that alerts you to a customer entering the bookstore. "Let me know if you need any help," you automatically say, never taking your eyes off of your screen.

Several minutes later, you catch some movement in your peripheral vision and quickly turn your head, making eye contact with a tall, blonde man for a few seconds before he disappears behind the bookshelves. Haven't seen him here before, you think to yourself, taking another sip of your drink as you continue to look in his direction.

He eventually reappears, and you smile at him. "Need help finding something?" you ask, swallowing hard as he walks toward you, his long-legged stride making you feel a little funny.

"Just looking," he says, the sound of his voice hitting you like a roundhouse kick to the face.

"Oh … okay," you mutter, your pulse picking up as he walks directly up to the large L-shaped desk that serves as a check-out counter and sticks a hand out toward you, his impressive height and broad shoulders completely blocking out the late-afternoon sun streaming in the windows behind him.

"I'm Joe," he announces, giving you a devastating smile when you stand up from your desk chair and grasp his hand.

You try not to react to the electric shock you feel when you nestle your hand in his much bigger one. "I'm Y/n," you mumble.

"Nice to meet you, Y/n. I'm new here. Just recently transferred over from OSU."

"Oklahoma State?" you ask, grinning when he rolls his pretty blue eyes.

"Ohio State," he answers.

"You're a midwestern boy, huh?"

He raises one eyebrow before answering. "A midwestern man."

"My bad," you giggle, biting your lip as a blush rises in your face; his gaze drops down to your mouth and you feel something stir deep inside you, a rush of heat and a steady throb between your legs that makes you react by pressing your thighs together.

"No problem," he states, his already deep voice dropping a full octave lower; he quickly flicks his gaze down to your denim-clad thighs, lingering there briefly before recapturing your gaze.

Got damn, you think to yourself, trying to act normal as your body continues to react to him. I prob need to buy some new batteries for my vibrator, you muse, wiping your sweaty palms on your jeans when his sinful lips curl up in a wicked grin, like he's reading your mind and really liking what he sees.

The entrance bell ringing breaks the porny spell, and you turn your head toward the door, smiling at one of your regular customers. "Hi, Mrs. Peavy. The book you ordered came in today's mail."

"That's great news!" she chirps. "I'm just gonna browse for a bit before I check out."

She disappears back behind the tall bookshelves, and you return your attention to Joe, catching his gaze sliding down your body again before he clears his throat and checks his watch. "I gotta get to the gym," he mutters, raking a hand through his hair while backing away from you. "It was really nice meeting you."

"You too," you grin, shamelessly ogling his ass in his slinky shorts as he heads out the door.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

One week later

You're sipping another iced coffee and staring into space when the entrance bell jingles, pulling your attention to the tall, blonde man striding toward you. "Hey," you grin, standing up as he walks directly up to your desk.

"Hey," he echoes, waggling his large styrofoam cup. "Am I allowed to have this in here?"

"Is it a drive-thru daiquiri? And if it is, are you at least 21?"

"I'm 21, but it's a smoothie not a daiquiri," he chuckles. "I just didn't know if y'all allow drinks in the store."

"It's fine," you state, pointing at your iced coffee. "Drinks are def allowed."

"What is that?" he asks.

"It's an iced mocha latte. I have one every workday to give me a little caffeine boost."

"What days do you work?"

"Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday 3:00 - 7:00."

"That explains why you weren't here when I popped in last Friday afternoon."

"Yep, that explains it," you say inanely, your pulse picking up at the thought that he came in hoping to see you. He takes a sip of his smoothie, and your gaze is drawn to his throat, his prominent Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows the frosty beverage.

He licks his lips before giving you a lethal grin. "Did you know that you get a greater energy boost from eating an apple instead of drinking a caffeinated beverage?"

"No way," you grin, taking a big slurp of your iced coffee while he gives a vigorous nod, causing a dirty-blonde curl to bounce against his forehead.

"Seriously," he states. "There are studies that show eating an apple gives you a longer energy boost than a cup of coffee. Honeycrisp apples are my fav," he continues. "Have you ever tried one?"

"Maybe baked in a pie or dunked in caramel," you tease, "but be for real. Apples don't have caffeine."

"True," he nods. "It's the natural sugars and the fiber in the skin that give you the sustained energy boost."

"Are you a registered dietician?" you ask with a hint of playful snark.

"No, but I'm an athlete, so I've consulted with lots of dieticians and sports nutritionists."

"I see," you grin, half-convinced he's bullshitting even though he's built like an athlete. "Think I'll stick with my trusty caffeine."

"Cool," he quips, shifting his weight from one foot to the other while raking a hand through his hair. "Sooo, you go to LSU?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'm in my junior year."

"Cool," he repeats. "You taking any summer classes?"

"Just one; it's an online course in business ethics. Super easy."

"What's your major?"

"I'm doing a double major in graphic design and digital advertising."

"That sounds interesting and also a little intense."

"It's really not bad," you admit. "I rarely have homework since I get most everything done in class plus the 12 hours a week I spend here at the bookstore."

"How long have you worked here?"

"Since about midway through freshman year. My parents were against it at first, but they came around once they realized how ideal it is. It's nice to make a little extra money instead of expecting them to pay for everything. Between my partial scholarship and the college fund they started when I was born, I'm gonna graduate with zero student loan debt, which is basically like winning the lottery these days."

"Damn right," he enthuses. "I did my undergrad in finance, and starting a college fund as soon as possible is one of the best things a parent can do for their child."

"Undergrad?" you ask. "Do you already have a degree?"

"Yeah, I got a bachelor's from OSU in consumer and family financial services. I'm a graduate transfer doing a master's in liberal arts."

You raise your eyebrows. "That's quite a move from Ohio to Louisiana. Do you have family here?"

"No … well, not yet. Eventually my teammates will be as close as family."

"Teammates?"

"Yeah, football teammates."

You feel your heart sink at the implication. "You play football?"

"Yeah."

"For the university?"

"Uhhh, yeah. I was a back-up quarterback for three years at OSU, so I transferred here to get a chance to start."

"A fucking quarterback," you mumble under your breath.

"What was that? I didn't hear you."

"Nothing." You give him a bland smile before taking another hearty gulp of your 'caffeinated beverage'.

He watches you closely for a few seconds before speaking. "I take it you don't like football."

"What makes you say that?" you ask, a bit disconcerted that he read you so easily.

"Your whole demeanor changed when I mentioned it."

"I like it fine," you scoff. "I mean, except for the fact that it's violent as fuck, and I'm always worried I might witness a horrific injury. Other than that, I think it's just peachy."

He hits you with that panty-dropping grin, and you're more than a little annoyed when your body reacts. Simmer down, you think to yourself. Nothing dumber than getting sprung over a fuck boy quarterback.

"How many games have you been to here at LSU?" he asks.

"Several," you lie.

"Several, huh? Like at least ten?"

"Like three," you mumble. "The last game I went to kind of ruined it for me."

"What happened? Horrific injury?"

"No. There was a drunk dude sitting beside me who kept sloshing beer on my boots, literally burped in my face, and then had the audacity to get mad when I refused to give him my number."

"Yikes. Not cool."

"Indeed," you grumble.

"Well, if you come watch me play this fall, maybe I can give you a few tips to avoid the drunk assholes."

"As if," you snort, rolling your eyes when he hits you with a pouty expression. That shit's not working on me, pretty boy, you think to yourself, squaring your shoulders as he shifts his weight again and hits you with another smile.

"Well, anyway … would you like to maybe grab lunch or something this week-end?" he asks.

"Ummm, I'm actually hosting a 21st birthday slumber party for a friend this week-end."

"All week-end? Friday through Sunday?"

"Kind of," you mutter, hoping he doesn't ask you to elaborate.

"Cool," he says, "hope y'all have fun."

"Thanks," you mumble, your gaze darting to the door as the bell jingles, signaling a new customer.

"I better get going," he says, giving you a lingering look before striding toward the door.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Two weeks later

You hear the entrance bell jingle and quickly cut a glance at the door, eyes going wide when Joe walks in. Holy shit, take a hint, you think to yourself, giving him a bland look as he walks up to your desk.

"Hey," he smiles.

"Hey," you echo, trying hard not to return his smile.

"How was your slumber party?"

"Good."

The silence stretches out between you for a bit before he speaks up.

"Did I do something to upset you?"

"Nope."

"Okaaay," he mutters, running a hand through his hair while clearing his throat. "Look, I know you don't love football, but I can talk about a lot more than that. I was hoping we could maybe get to know each other better? Maybe just go out for ice cream or lunch sometime?"

"When?" you deadpan.

"Ummm, maybe Friday? I have some team activities Saturday and Sunday."

You give him a tight smile before answering. "Friday's not good for me. I have a 3000 piece jigsaw puzzle that I'm jonesing to finish, and I have it on my schedule for this Friday."

"A jigsaw puzzle?" he asks, his tone bordering on incredulous.

"Yep," you chirp, your expression daring him to question you further.

The silence stretches out for an uncomfortable amount of time before he finally breaks it.

"I get it," he mutters, slowly backing away. "Sorry for bothering you." He spins around and heads for the exit, stopping just before opening the door to look back at you; his gaze lingers on you for several seconds before he pulls the door open and walks out.

You release the breath you didn't realize you were holding and slump back in your desk chair, wondering why you feel so empty when you should really feel amazing for curving an obvious fuck boy.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Two weeks later

You finish the last bite of your shrimp po' boy and dab your mouth with your napkin, quickly turning your head toward the street behind you as a car backfire causes everyone to flinch.

"Got damn!" Gina snaps, grabbing her glass of sweet tea and taking several gulps. "Damn near choked," she wheezes, both of you giggling.

Y'all are sitting at one of many picnic tables at an outdoor food court that's flanked by several food trucks; you take a sip of your sweet tea and turn your head again, scanning the lunchtime crowd until your gaze comes to rest on a familiar figure sitting at a table with a few other guys.

"Oh shit!" you gasp.

"What is it?" Gina asks, her head on a swivel to see what upset you.

"Don't look!" you hiss. "It's Joe."

"Who?"

"That guy who came into the bookstore a few times and asked me out."

"The quarterback?"

"Yes," you whisper, turning your head slowly to find him staring directly at you. "Oh shit, fuck, dammit to hell," you breathe, plastering on a fake smile and waving when he waves at you.

"He's headed this way," Gina warns.

"Should I run?"

"Hell no," she laughs. "Just smile and act unaffected."

"Fuck my life," you mutter, smiling as he walks up to your table. "Hey," you greet, annoyed at the breathless tone of your voice.

"Hey," he echoes.

"Ummm, Joe this is Gina," you say, gesturing toward her, "my roommate and bestie. Gina this is Joe," you continue, gesturing toward him.

"Nice to meet you," Gina says.

"You too," Joe grins, looking back and forth between you before Gina speaks up.

"I'm gonna throw out our trash and head to the car," she announces. "Y'all take your time talking."

"Thanks," you grimace, gesturing at the seat opposite you once Gina vacates it. "Have a seat."

"Thanks," Joe says, dropping his big frame down and resting his ridiculously sexy hands and forearms on the table.

Asshole, you think to yourself, hating the fact that you're incredibly attracted to him. "Sooo, how's your football stuff going?" you ask.

"Good. How's your jigsaw puzzle stuff going?" he asks, not even trying to hide his smirk.

"Good," you state, your cunty expression daring him to call you out.

He stares at you for several seconds before speaking. "Look … I just wanna tell you that the jigsaw puzzle thing is the worst brush off I've ever heard."

"What makes you think it was a brush off?" you ask.

"Because it's ridic. You could've finished the puzzle any other time."

"I could have," you agree. "But I was really looking forward to doing it that specific night."

He tilts his head and gives you a look. "I don't think the puzzle actually exists."

"Oh really?" you mumble, grabbing your phone and scrolling through your pics until you find what you're looking for. "This is it," you say, studying the pic while continuing. "It's a shot from the Hubble telescope." You flip your phone around so he can see it. "It's the …"

"Crab nebula," he finishes your sentence, taking your phone and setting it on the table in front of him. "Damn," he whispers, leaning down for a better look. "This is a beautiful shot." He quickly flicks his gaze up at you before looking back down at your phone. "Most colorized shots of the Crab nebula are depicted in cool colors, but this heat signature is very hot," he murmurs.

Very fucking hot, you think to yourself, studying his face as he continues to look at the pic, his long eyelashes fanned out against his slightly-sunburned cheeks.

He eventually slides your phone across the table toward you and gives you a sheepish grin. "I owe you an apology for not believing you. I'm sorry."

You feel a hot blush rise in your cheeks, more from shame than attraction, and you heave a sigh before responding. "Listen … I did finish the puzzle Friday, but you were right when you said I could've done it another time, so it basically was a brush off."

"Thanks for being honest," he states. "Why don't you simplify this by just saying you aren't interested in me."

"Because that would be a lie," you blurt, surprising yourself just as much as him with your admission.

"Okay, now I'm confused," he grins. "If you're interested then why the brush off?"

You have an answer ready because that's pretty much all you've been thinking about lately. "I just feel like we wouldn't be very compatible."

"What are you basing that on?"

You shrug. "I'm an introverted bookworm who doesn't really like to party. I enjoy cooking for my friends and hanging out at home."

"That perfectly describes me minus the cooking part," he grins, laughing softly when you narrow your eyes at him.

"Boy please," you scoff. "Most college athletes are huge partiers and total manwhores."

"What are you basing that on?" he repeats.

"I'm basing it on my experience, and also things I've seen and heard from friends."

"So you've dated some college athletes?"

"Kind of," you mumble. "He was actually my high school boyfriend, a year older than me. We dated for just over a year before he graduated and went to college. He wasn't talented enough to get a Division 1 football scholarship, but he did get a D2. The school was about a four hour drive from our hometown. He promised me we'd make the distance work, then he proceeded to fuck everything in a skirt the second he hit campus. Luckily I had several other friends at the same school who dropped a dime on his fuck boy ways."

"Was he a quarterback?"

"No, but the quarterback on his college team was even worse. One of those gross dudes who brags about getting more ass than a barstool."

"I see," he mutters, taking a deep breath before continuing. "So now you think all football players are like that? Like 100% of us?"

You shrug. "Maybe not 100% but why chance it? I know that not all snakes are poisonous, but I still avoid 'em. You're a man, though, so you wouldn't understand."

"I understand. And yes, there are plenty of fuck boy athletes, but I'm not one of them."

You bite your bottom lip to quell a skeptical smirk, noting that his gaze drops down to your mouth for several seconds before he continues speaking.

"Can I tell you a little bit about myself?" he asks, finally dragging his gaze back up to your eyes.

"Sure."

"I'm an introverted bookworm who doesn't really like to party," he states, echoing your earlier words. "I spend most of my time at football practice, working out, watching game film, and studying the playbook. Once my classes start, I'll be studying for those, as well. You can usually find me at my apartment or the football facility, which is a five minute drive from my apartment. Occasionally I do something wild like eat at a restaurant, browse a bookstore, or play blackjack at a casino."

You raise an eyebrow, and he chuckles before responding.

"I'm not a gambling addict or anything like that. I don't play very often, but when I do, I win more than I lose." You can't help but smile at his cocky tone as he continues. "I also enjoy playing chess, collecting graphic t-shirts, and reading about plus watching pretty much anything related to how the universe works, hence me nerding out over your Crab nebula puzzle. Physics is my fav subject." He gives you a big grin. "Am I boring you yet?"

"Not yet," you mutter.

"I also enjoy building LEGO sets which are basically just 3D versions of jigsaw puzzles." You stare at each other for several seconds before he speaks up again. "If you get to know me, you'll realize I'm not a stereotypical jock."

Holy shit, he's smooth, you think to yourself, wondering if his earnest expression is real or fake. Prob fake as fuck, you seethe; time to set him straight. "Listen, I'm not gonna jump in bed with you, okay?" you snap. "There are plenty of other women on this campus who'd be DTF if you flash that smile at 'em. Why waste time with me?"

"Because I'm not looking for a quick fuck. I'm looking for someone I can vibe with."

"Running game on me is not gonna work, sweetie," you snort. "You're good at it, don't get me wrong, but I see right through that shit."

"Look, I know you've had some bad experiences, but I swear I'm not running game. Don't punish me for some other guys' sins."

You stare at him without speaking, trying not to show any emotion as he continues.

"Plus, you're the one who keeps mentioning sex," he states matter-of-factly. "I'd just like to get to know you."

"You're right," you mumble, caught somewhere between admiration and aggravation that he's managed to get the upper hand in the conversation; time to put him on the back foot. "That was very presumptuous of me. You're clearly not attracted to me, so I apologize for jumping to that conclusion."

"Okay, that's not true and you know it," he mutters.

"Meaning?"

He runs a hand through his hair before answering. "Meaning … I'm very attracted to you, but I'm not just looking for sex. Does that make sense?"

"No."

His laugh caresses you like a physical touch, and you squirm in your seat, exasperated at the effect he has on you.

"You're really not making this easy," he grins.

"I don't owe you easy," you scoff, biting the inside of your cheek to keep from returning his grin.

"You're absolutely right," he states as he stands up, throwing a quick glance at the table where his friends are sitting before returning his gaze to you. "You don't owe me anything," he continues, smiling as he plucks his sunglasses from the neckline of his t-shirt and slides them on; he waits several seconds -- like he's waiting for you to say something -- before spinning around and heading back to his bros.

He takes three steps before you call his name, your pulse hammering when he turns around and removes his sunglasses before locking eyes with you; you stand up and take a small step in his direction, every pleasure point in your body throbbing in unison when he quickly closes the distance with two long strides, looking down into your upturned face. A thrill shoots through you at how much taller he is than you. Focus! you think to yourself, swallowing hard and licking your lips before speaking.

"Ummm, do you have any plans for this Friday?"

"Not yet," he grins. "What do you have in mind?"

"I have no idea," you admit. "Maybe just grab ice cream or lunch or something?"

"Why don't we exchange numbers then we can decide later?"

"Okay," you mutter, feeling a little lightheaded as y'all exchange numbers.

He eventually slides his phone back in the pocket of his shorts and gives you a cheeky grin. "Just so you know, I don't have sex on the first date," he says, gracing you with another deep laugh that sizzles your nerve endings as your mouth drops open in shock. "Just kidding," he chuckles.

"You better be kidding," you warn in a playful voice. "This is just a friendly hang-out, right? Not a date."

"Of course, very presumptuous of me to call it a date." He gives you a wink before sliding his sunglasses back on.

His wink hits you in all the right places, and you quickly slide your sunglasses on to mask your reaction. "Totally presumptuous," you grumble, matching his grin before spinning around and heading toward the parking lot; you take about a dozen steps before throwing a look over your shoulder, a jolt of heat rushing through you when you see him still watching you. "Fuck," you mutter under your breath, picking up your pace as you head toward your car. "What have I got myself into?"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Y/n?"

Gina's voice snaps you out of your flashback. "Yeah?"

"Girl, you must've been having a spicy daydream because you were damn near drooling!" she chortles.

"Just thinking about when Joe and I first met," you grin, heading to the fridge to pull the frosting out. "Let me get these cupcakes frosted then I'll help you set up a little tablescape for your V Day dinner."

"Martha Stewart ain't got nothing on you," she giggles.

"Damn right," you laugh, grabbing your piping bag and dropping a star tip in before letting your mind wander, a sizzle of anticipation running through you as you think about the night to come.

#joe burrow #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow fanfic #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow imagine

[a-bit-too-much-of-a-zelda-fan]

I really like the decision to set TotK a few years after BotW, as opposed to the few months we’re used to in direct Zelda sequels. It gave the world a substantial amount of time to change. Hyrule is livelier. In the years of relative peace since Calamity Ganon was vanquished, it’s been allowed to grow and thrive. Hateno Village, the largest Hylian settlement, is becoming economically significant as a tourist destination and food supplier. It’s especially cool to see Riju, Tulin, and Kass’s kids mature into their adult/teenage years, respectively.

Building on that, I think it’s neat that Link is in his early twenties now. This is the oldest Link we’ve ever played as (Skyward Sword held the previous record at 17.5 y/o). He’s had time to adjust to life post-calamity. His traumatic mutism seems to be all but gone. You ever notice just how much he talks in this game? Dialogue options galore, he’s constantly explaining things to other characters, all that. And he’s more expressive, too. He outright laughs when he fuses weapons.

Link’s relationship with Zelda has also had time to grow. Guys. Fellas. Broskis. They live in the same house. In which there is only one bed. They are together. The implication here is that they share most of their meals together, and remember, it’s key to his characterization that he opens up emotionally when he’s cooking or eating. That means there has been a lot of quality bonding time between them.

Before and during the Calamity, Link served as Zelda’s royal bodyguard because the king demanded it of him. Given how he went mostly mute from the pressure of being entrusted with the princess’s safety and being chosen as the Hylian Champion (at age 17, mind you), I’d wager he didn’t particularly like the assignment until he started bonding with her. He looks downright sad when she snaps at him in that one memory at the shrine. Hell, he doesn’t smile once in the memories.

But you know what? I get the feeling that Link protects her now not out of duty like he used to, but out of love. That’s powerful because “love conquers all” and all that, but also, there’s no external pressure to be her bodyguard. Until the Upheaval, he was done being a special little hero. He was just a swordsman, but he still went where Zelda went to protect her. So instead of being crushed by that pressure, protecting her is an expression of his love for her. It’s a choice and he’s doing it because he wants to, not because it was forced on him.

That’s a lot of growth to go through, and it was paced over several years. He doesn’t appear to have aged much, but enough time has passed that Hudson has a daughter who can hold a mature conversation. That’s what, 5 years old? Yeah, Link is in his early twenties. Fucking finally, the task of saving the world falls on the shoulders of an adult (although speaking as someone entering his mid-twenties, that honestly isn’t much better).

I’m starting to ramble here so I’ll leave a parting observation of Link and Zelda’s house in Hateno. Zelda has redecorated a fair bit since moving in with Link, replacing his weapon racks with photos of her horse and various Hyruleans (her subjects who she cares deeply for), but the photo of her, Link, and the Champions is still up. And that’s really cute.

#tears of the kingdom spoilers #TotK spoilers #Zelda spoilers #tears of the kingdom #my own #Zelda analysis #definitely going to find some way to write this into a fanfic

[engeorged]

Dear Alex

Dear Alex,

I can’t really remember how many times I’ve started writing this letter and how many times I’ve thrown it in the bin. It’s a really shitty way of doing this but I just don’t think I can tell you any of this to your face. I’m too embarrassed. It all started as a prank, a way to level the tables with the both of us. I meant to tell you sooner but I guess it got out of hand and here we are. I’m gonna have to start at the beginning I think. You’ll know all of this, just not my side of it I guess.

After university when we moved in together I wasn’t sure we’d last as room mates for more than a few months but it was so easy hanging out with you and we were both the same level of untidy so we didn’t piss each other off. We did have those tricky few weeks a few years back when we dated the same guy without realising but he turned into the biggest ballsack on the planet so it wasn’t hard to get over that!

I’m only mentioning that because that’s not the reason I got you fat. It wasn’t revenge for anything. I don’t fully remember the original reason to be completely honest, it wasn’t really a thought through thing, it just sort of happened. And yeah I know I just threw that it there. I got you fat. I mean you definitely played your part in it but I really messed with you man and I’m sorry.

It was innocent at first, I noticed when you started your new job and you were tired all the time, you started going to the gym less. I think it was when we were decorating the kitchen one weekend and you were painting the ceiling, I saw your rounded little pot belly when you were reaching up. All those late night take aways and evenings sat in front of the tv watching the football were taking their toll. Your flat muscled six pack was disappearing. It instantly filled me with hope. You had a flaw I could exploit!

It pains me to say this but of the two of us, you’d always been the hot one. Don’t get me wrong, on my own, I’m not bad looking. In fact if someone asked me I’d probably say I was a nine, it’s just that next to you, I’m a seven at best. Your blonde hair and permanently tanned skin made you the hottest guy in most rooms. All 6’5 of you was built like a cartoon of a rugby player which made it even worse! You’re a solid ten man and you always have been. I don’t think I realised how jealous I was until I saw you had a flaw. That solid curved furry belly I glimpsed gave me the seed of an idea. If you were fatter, it might even the playing field. I’m not proud of this, I just think you’d reserve the truth.

It started gently at first, I’d make twice the amount of food I’d normally make when it was my turn to cook. I’d pack the fridge with snacks and unhealthy things for you to pick at. I’d hand you beers when we were watching the game. You were so zoned into the match you never noticed me topping up your snacks or replacing the bud lights with full fat beers. Over a few months I watched as your little curve turned into a more substantial beer belly. And fuck you if it wasn’t the most perfect beer belly I’d ever seen. I was hoping it would make you less hot but turned out it made you hotter. Instead of a flabby pimply gut covered in stretch marks, you developed a firm round belly with perfect skin and even kept your Adonis belt. That’s when it got serious.

The first thing was gainer shakes. I started sprinkling gainer powder in everything, adding it to every meal or sauce I could dissolve it into. Everything I cooked for you was loaded with butter and ghee to double the calorie count. I found larger versions of our plates so that I could increase your portion sizes without you realising. I even started buying your clothes a size up and replacing the labels so you wouldn't realise. I was literally feeding you up like a fattened calf. And boy did you balloon. The first phase was months long and you gained 20/30lbs but this second phase was like you were being filled with an air pump. I can’t really believe I could do this to someone, especially someone who I would call my best friend.

It all came to a head yesterday when I crossed the line big time. That’s why I’m writing this letter now and actually sending it. I can hear you now snoring from your bedroom. Sleeping off the mammoth meal I stuffed into you across the evening. I’ve been awake all night and I keep going in to check on you to make sure you’re still breathing. I can’t believe you ate as much as you did and I can’t believe I pushed you into doing it.

I was only planning on slipping you a few of the tablets I found online. They were definitely safe and I want you to know I checked them and double checked them to make sure they were ok for human consumption. I guess that gives away the fact that they were actually for animals. I think they are used by wagyu beef farmers to get cows fattened up before they are butchered. They are supposed to increase appetite and metabolism. I popped two in your beer before the game and started my usual sneaky increase in your snacks. It wasn’t hard as you always put a lot away when our team is winning and they were three goals up by half time. I think at that point you’d eaten two bowls of Doritos and dip, a plate of sliders and a whole pan of chilli which I think would have served 8 comfortably. That was on top of the best of a crate of twelve beers. Your belly was swollen up to it’s usual bulging mass and you were already rubbing the sides to alleviate some pressure. I should have stopped there but I couldn’t help myself. I slipped you another few of the tablets. I guess in hindsight, the first two hadn’t properly kicked in at that point which meant that by the time the second half had started they were in full force. I couldn’t keep up with the snacks and you’d pretty much polished off the lot by the time the match had ended.

For the record it was your idea to order pizza. Your belly at that point was totally rounded out and your T-shirt was stretched over it’s taut surface. I guess you were pretty buzzed because you ordered four xl meat feasts. I didn’t really have any choice but to let it happen. And you might not remember any of this but you basically inhaled the first two. By that point you were fully maxed out. Your belly was tight and even the xxxl T-shirt you were wearing (that you thought was an xl) was beginning to show a few inches of your swollen belly. You could hardly move and I felt awful. Well that’s not totally true. I was actually pretty pleased at the state of you. My plan after all was to make you gain a few pounds so I’d be hotter than you and you’d basically blimped.

Anyway, what happened next I am truly ashamed about. You were laying there on the sofa clutching at your belly. The tablets clearly convincing your brain you were still starving, even thought your belly was basically an exercise ball now. And you were just moaning with the two pizzas next to you. And that’s when I snapped. I jumped up and shoved a whole slice into your mouth. You gaged but then after a few chews swallowed it right down. Slice by slice I pushed the remaining two huge pizzas down your throat. I could literally see your belly blowing up in front of me. When eventually I reached into the box for the next piece and found nothing, I realised what I’d done. I stepped back and looked at you. Spread eagle on the sofa, your belly sticking way up and round. Covered in sweat and grease. It’s as if I stepped out of my own body and realised what I had done to you. You were fucking huge man.

I left the room and went to my own to consider what to do next. I was half appalled and half in awe at the size of you man. When I came in half an hour later you were fast asleep and snoring like a pig, your gut still very much occupying its space. Guiltily, I managed to get you into your bed and laid you on your back so your belly could reach its full swell. I pulled your belt off so your stomach wasn’t under any pressure. I didn’t want you to pop or anything.

As I said I know our friendship is probably over but I want you to know I’m truly sorry. I took this way too far and I regret it. I’m happy for you to do what you need to do, and if that’s punch me in the face then so be it. I hope that in a few weeks you’ll be able to forgive me but if not then I understand and I will move out if that’s what you want.

In the spirit of fully disclosure, I want you to know that even though you’re maybe 100lbs fatter than you were, I still think you’re a ten. In fact if I’m really honest, I think you might even be hotter than that. Your belly last night was horrifying but also strangely attractive. The firm roundness of it and knowing how much food I’d crammed in there was actually quite erotic. Sorry if that’s tmi but I think I wanted you to have the whole truth. I have a small suspicion that you’ve actually enjoyed getting bigger and if that’s wrong then I’m sorry for presuming. But I actually wonder how big we could get that thing.

Let me know what I can do to make it up to you, or if I’m right and you wanna continue.

Yours apologetically (and hopefully)

Nate

Continued at Dear Nate

#belly expansion #gainer fiction #gay gainer #stuffing #belly fiction #gainer stories #male gaining #stuffing art #gainer artwork #gainer story

[petermorwood]

Mushrooms in Cream Sauce...

...or Pilze in Sahnesoße.

This is for @killerblackberrypie, who went looking for the version on our "European Cusines" site and found the site gone.

@dduane had taken it down for maintenance, a new theme and to take some new photos, but while the site was down it web-provider went belly-up. These things happen.

"European Cuisines" Will Return - just not quite yet.

Our recipe was, ironically, one of the recipes slated for new pics, so while this text is from the site's offline backup (with a couple of tweaks from me, because why not?) photos are sourced from the web.

There are many, many other recipes online; they're mostly in German, but Google Translate handles Rezeptedeutch well enough. I've linked to a couple, which is only fair since I'm using their pix.

You'll also see the French word "champignons" in German recipes as often as German "Pilze"; I don't know whether this indicates a French origin for the recipe, or refers to a specific mushroom, or makes the dish sound more classy.

Here's one: Champignons in Sahnesauce mit Spätzle.

And here's ours...

*****

Pilze in Sahnesoße from European Cuisines.

Contrary to popular belief, Germany is not a vegetable-free zone.

In fact, unless you find yourself buried in some tiny backwater in the Black Forest or someplace similar, Germany is much kinder to both vegetable-lover and vegetarian than a lot of other places. It will be rare to find a menu that doesn't have at least a few vegetarian or at least mostly-vegetable options on it, often far more creative than you might expect.

But leaving aside for the moment the issue of vegetarianism per se, Germans really do like more vegetables than potatoes and cabbage, especially seasonal ones in their prime. Asparagus season, for instance, has its own name: Spargelzeit - "asparagus time".

And mushrooms (all right, not as true veggies, but at least as fungi) turn up as stars in many entreés, especially in dishes meant to be served in the autumn, "Pilzsaison", mushroom season, when the good little creatures are coming up all over in the woods and the supermarkets.

This recipe calls for the mushrooms to be sautéed with onions in bacon fat (the bacon is added later). The pan is then deglazed with white wine, and various spices are added, one of them being paprika, which instantly suggests that this recipe probably sneaked over the border from Austro-Hungary, possibly via the Czech Republic.

Finally the cream and bacon go in.

The result is substantial, surprisingly elegant, and yummy.

This is definitely a recipe for a high-end Hobbit menu: an entrée for anyone who doesn't want their mushrooms upstaged by overly large amounts of meat.

The bacon-fat and bacon CAN be left out completely, making the dish meat-free. Use more butter along with more mushrooms and a red pepper diced small, and add 1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika.

*****

INGREDIENTS

NB, we work in metric so that's "correct"; Imperial is converted and "approximate", though it won't make much difference. Just don't combine them or your mushrooms might crash into Mars...

1 kg / 2 lb fresh mushrooms, domesticated or a mixture of wild types to taste

125g / 1/4 pound bacon, diced

60gr 1/4 cup butter or margarine

2 large onions, diced

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon pepper

1/2 teaspoon paprika

60ml / 1/4 cup (or more if needed to deglaze) white wine, preferably a medium or medium-dry one

A pinch of nutmeg

A pinch of mace

250ml / 1 cup heavy cream

The juice of half a medium-sized lemon, strained

2 sprigs of fresh parsley

METHOD

Clean the mushrooms with a soft brush or dry cloth. (Never wash mushrooms.) If they're big, cut them in half.

Fry the bacon in a wok or large pan until lightly browned. Remove the bacon from the pan and set it aside.

Add the butter to the pan drippings. Add the onions; sauté until lightly browned.

Add the mushrooms; cook them until they're tender, stirring often.

When they're tender, raise the heat slightly and stir in the wine, salt, pepper, paprika, nutmeg, and mace. Cover the pan and cook over low heat for 15 minutes.

Remove from the heat. Add the cooked bacon, cream and lemon juice. Reheat until just warm. Do NOT let this mixture boil!!!

Garnish with parsley and serve with noodles, dumplings, mashed potatoes, whole potatoes... And some crusty bread to chase the last of the sauce.

*****

Our original photo used Spätzle, as in the first pic. Ribbon tagliatelle works just fine as well, while here is Saure Pilz-Sahnesoße served alongside Bohemian Dumplings, a long bread dumpling boiled in water or stock then cut into thick slices.

From the same site, here's a simple potato treatment, Pilz-Sahnesoße mit Kartoffeln:

As far as we've been able to make out, the main difference between mushrooms in cream sauce as a main dish, and creamy mushroom sauce for use with something else, is the proportion of mushrooms to everything else, and often the size of pieces into which they're cut. Really small bits are one more ingredient, large generous chunks are much more front and centre.

Ours is definitely a main course, and though we haven't made it for a while, the memory of that last time still makes my Mind Palate go...

Soon. Soon...

#food and drink #mushrooms in cream sauce #german cuisine #pilze in sahnesosse

[thetrashbagswasteland]

devoted, intimate, peace & quiet forrrr barrix and avitis i am a simple man 🥺👉👈

Devoted: How do they show they're serious? BARRIX: Spoken commitment is something Avitus has always been flighty about but, both very much aware of that, Macen understands that his brand of over-loyal guard dog behaviour is in fact him showing his devotion to him. In return, Macen's the one who puts it into words - affirming time after time that he loves him, he cares for him, he'll do anything for him if he just asks. AVITIS: As a general rule, they don't. Neither one of them particularly wants to admit it's a serious relationship, even after decades spent with each other. But... living together, even going as far as buying an apartment and getting a pet together, well, that says otherwise really. Intimate: What kind of dates do they like? BARRIX: Dinner dates, wherein Macen picks a restaurant (must have decent food and not be fancy enough that feral animal Avitus will get kicked out), they both put on their most decent clothes (difficult, given how the evening invariably ends with Avitus shredding them) and attempt to make it through past dessert without needing to go home and deal with the mental images Avitus has been supplying Macen with every time they're beyond risking being overheard. AVITIS: Very occasionally, they meet at bars, pretend they didn't arrive in the same taxi and proceed to flirt over drinks before heading home once again, but usually date night means ordering in a substantial amount of food and curling up together to marathon one of the few shows they agree on - usually a detective show during which Castis gets distracted critiquing the accuracy of the investigation and Avitus pretends he doesn't find that frustratingly arousing. Peace: How do they relax together? BARRIX: Macen loves to cook and bake, usually roping Avitus in to prep ingredients because man does he know his way around a knife. It's relaxing for Macen and being given simple tasks works remarkably well to de-stress Avitus once he gets involved too. Simply being in one another's presence is healing to each other too. AVITIS: Paperwork time - usually spent sitting at opposite ends of the sofa with their feet propped up on each other. Castis invariably has more to do but it takes Avitus so fucking long to write up his mission reports that it balances out in the end. When Avitus doesn't have anything to do, he tends to make a pest of himself to keep Castis motivated. It's a regular, set routine and they both find that fact comforting. Quiet: What can they do together without talking? BARRIX: Cooking, usually; once Avitus is familiar with just what Macen's planning, he doesn't need reminding, just handing what needs prepping at the appropriate time cues. It frees Macen up to get lost in his thoughts, which he appreciates considering Avitus rarely ever fucking shuts up. AVITIS: As long as it's been since they did so, work. It's one of the few things they both miss about the days when they were in the same squad; as difficult as that time in their lives was, training and friendship meant they rarely ever needed to speak out loud when fighting. Avitus is more open about missing it, even though he knows full well that time has passed, but Castis also sometimes finds himself wishing he could go back to then.

#ask meme #avitis #barrix

[uptoolateart]

When your day job merges with your obsession....

--------------------------

Dear Gabriel

Overview / Inheritance and Succession Planning

Further to our recent meeting at the mansion, you were referred to me for advice in relation to setting up a suitable plan for passing on your inheritance as well as ensuring that your son Adrien (14) is looked after, following your death, where you have confirmed that you only have a few weeks left to live.

You confirmed that you have tried all forms of medical intervention, even time travel. However, this only worsened your condition.

I want to thank you for taking me into your confidence, as your circumstances are highly delicate. This letter will now summarise the key points of our discussion.

Background

You are 45 and widowed, your only child being Adrien. You work as a fashion designer and head the internationally successful Gabriel brand, in addition to your recent business ventures with Tomoe Tsurugi, including the smart ring / personal assistant device Alliance.

Your main residence is fully unencumbered and valued at c €40m, while your net worth is estimated at around €11 bn.

You have few liabilities, aside from business costs, although you noted that you recently spent €100m constructing sensory deprivation rooms in London for Adrien and Tomoe’s daughter Kagami, to ‘keep them out of harm’s way’ as you initiate your final business enterprise.

We agreed it was ‘not worth your time’ to undertake a full income and expenditure analysis. Suffice to say, you generate substantial surplus income each and every month to fund your lifestyle.

You are in the process of drafting a new will, leaving a portion to Tomoe, nominal amounts to your staff including Adrien’s bodyguard, and the remaining estate to Adrien.

As Adrien is a minor, his inheritance will be placed into trust until he attains age 18. Previously, you willed guardianship of Adrien to your assistant, Nathalie Sancoeur. However, due to personal differences, as well as her own failing health, you will now determine a new guardian, potentially your sister-in-law Amelie, who resides in London, although you are not on good terms and you are concerned that your nephew Felix is a ‘bad influence’.

You will also nominate someone to take over the Gabriel brand, as Adrien has expressed that he does not wish to continue in the fashion industry, having resigned as a model.

On a more personal note, you play piano, you are a keen fencer, and you recently took up cooking – thank you for the pancakes! You also enjoy the occasional game of golf.

Objectives

These are all very short-term, due to your unfortunate terminal illness:

Obtain the ladybug and cat miraculous

Bring your wife Emilie back from the dead

Ensure Adrien is looked after

Ensure Adrien marries the girl you have selected for him – namely, Kagami

Remove Marinette Dupain-Cheng from Adrien’s life ‘permanently’

Minimise the level of inheritance tax that will be payable by Adrien upon your passing, wherever possible

Arrange life cover for Adrien, to ensure the estate is not lost should someone wish to ‘make him disappear’

Ensure the miracle box and associated kwamis are passed on to a new guardian, after your passing – potentially to Adrien, although this would involve a difficult conversation with him, to spare him learning your secrets posthumously

Protect your secret identity as Hawk Moth / Shadow Moth / Monarch after your passing – this will entail some costs, as you will need to dismantle the missile security system in ‘the dome’ and seal off the underground lair in the secret basement

Should you not succeed in reviving Emilie, you will need to relocate her body, to ensure she can remain in suspended animation – you also wish to ensure that your mission for revival is picked up by a successor, namely Tomoe

Ensure the security of the ring that controls Adrien

Totally random - Keep reading at Ao3

#ml fanfic #ml fic #ml gabriel #Gabriel Agreste's A+ Parenting #ml adrien #adrien agreste #ml kagami #ml felix #ml representation #crack fic #crack treated seriously

[ladypeonies]

Caution required.

Please be cautious, always not to get too invested in actors’ relationships in general and BL ones in particular, and here is why.

Life on set is a life in a bubble, for weeks, months cast and crew live in their own world. Even if after work they go back home, they’ll still spend more time on set than home in many instances. It’s even more prominent for movie sets when they are on locations sometimes abroad. Human beings aren’t lonely creatures. We recreate subconsciously family units, a tribe, relationships to comfort us and cure our loneliness, and on set it’s easy. There is a hierarchy, the director or the oldest actor is the father figure, a kind person takes care of others, becomes a maternal figure, etc. Moreover, everyone is working with the same energy towards the similar purpose, attachments would be formed with a common goal which unifies each individual. In that ecosystem connections happen very quickly, sometimes too quickly.

Those relationships born in close proximity will be formed easily, rapidly and have a great intensity. Most of the time on set there aren’t many things to distract you. One doesn’t have to worry about much, food is there, care, assistants, etc. On set except working, all they have is time, to talk, to discover each other, and bond. That’s why actors fall for each other so often even some who are in a relationship. Moreover, there is also the fact that one goes in and out of character, bringing emotions in real life, sometimes illusions of feelings. It’s not easy to switch off and on those feelings even if they aren’t real. How many of them would first kiss in character before continuing the experience away from the cameras? 

In the Thai TV industry, in some agencies you have to add hours for preparation in workshops before filming and you have the perfect combination to create a bond. Actors are encouraged to spend time together, drawing from their closeness to feed their acting. They’re basically taught how to ‘fall in love’.

The closeness continues during the various schedules to promote the show, film, etc. Add to that time spent out of schedules, fun, games, cinema, shopping together, etc. And it means actors and above all lead actors would spend a substantial amount of time together.

When you spend so much time together organically or not, how one can measure the strength of their bond, the reality of it? How does one know it isn’t superficial? All those relationships have to pass the test of distance and time, to be away from each other. They don’t have to plan it, usually life takes care of it.

When I say away from each other, I’m not talking about a few days, but let’s start with weeks. Sadly, many will fail the test, ‘out of sight, out of mind.’ And no matter how intense and close they were, once they aren’t physically in each other presence, they reduce calls and texts, well it’s the end or you have a weaker bond.

It could be that they let their character drive them. A normal relationship simmer for months, years, those types of relationships in close proximity are cooked in high flames and things can burn very easily. And when the test of time comes, there isn’t anything left except memories.

However, the bond which passes the test of distance and time will probably last a lifetime.

So, one needs to always be cautious when shipping or getting too invested in a couple, BL or otherwise and not to get too attached. Many of them didn’t meet under ‘normal’ circumstances.

Next: Knowing that what about MileApo.  

#MileApo #apo nattawin #mile phakphum #kinnporsche #kinnporschetheseries #kinnporsche the series

[wh0lemilk0vich]

Maybe someone would like to expand on this idea I had? Eddie goes on tour for a few months and comes back to Steve considerably heavier. Steve’s way of comforting himself when Eddie isn’t there is overeating so he feels nice and sated; grounded. He holds/rubs his belly and imagines it’s Eddie because that’s what they do after Steve has a big meal, and it’s comforting. Eddie is pent up from being on tour for so long and just ravishes Steve. They have sex like 5 times that night and Steve probably cums about 10 times. Eddie brings back all these fun snacks from different states and they have a great time hehehe🥰🥵

As tubby boy with ADHD who eats when they're understimulated I can totally see this for Steve. He needs the dopamine hit of tasty food and the comfort of a full belly to get through the agonizing boredom of Eddie not being there. Like let's say this is the beginning of Eddie's career with corroded coffin and they're touring as the opening band for God I don't know Black Sabbath or Metallica or something (it's not my music genre of choice so I'm kind of useless here), and Steve knows he can't go with. He knows as fun and life changing as this is, Eddie and the boys are going to be really stressed and busy, and the van is going to be absolutely stuffed, and they have to focus on doing a good job. So he knows he can't go with, but fuck if isn't going to miss Eddie HARD. He tooootally pines for Eddie and misses the little things that he didn't know he would miss, like the bed feels so empty and it's a little cold, and he had to make himself coffee. So he tries to fill all the time with the kids and Robin and Nancy and Jonathan etc. But it always ends up being for food, or something with food available/food adjacent. He orders in because cooking feels like too much of a chore when Eddie's not there to help him get through the boring prep bits and DO NOT get him started on doing dishes, his absolute burden, his hell. But being full makes him feel dopey and happy and drowsy. Maybe he even starts indulging in a bit of Eddie's leftover weed just to change states of consciousness and get that rush.

And so former star athlete Stevie who realizes he doesn't have to be that guy anymore leans into it. There's a surprising amount of really good food around Hawkins. The first 15-30 lbs settle on him and everyone just thinks, 'awe, Steve's finally filling out a bit. Settling down.' and then it turns to 35, 40, 50. He's definitely had to update his wardrobe, though he had a pair of roomy Levi's that put up a tremendous fight, but when you start getting peae shaped with beautiful thick thighs, the the chub rub really eats away at the denim. He still has a few rugby jumpers that fit "fine," they just outline the belly and little breasts that have sprouted on him, but at least Robin helped him pick out new jeans that would best show off the beast of an ass that he's grown that even she appreciates. He just looks substantial, his face looks softer and more boyish, but importantly he looks happy and it's like a switch flips for everybody like 'oh yeah, this is how Steve should look. This makes sense. He looks really good.' And so nobody is worried like they were when Eddie left because they can tell Steve is grounded, and happy. He and Eddie talk whenever they get the chance, when Eddie can call from a pay phone or a motel.

It's been months, maybe even almost a year (I guess this is kind of silly, who tours for that long 😂 but still) when Eddie finally gets home from touring, and be bursts through the door like "Steven Middle name Harrington, you better get out here and give daddy some sugar!" And Steve pops out happy but looking bashful, lopsided smile and worried eyebrows telling two different stories. Eddie's face reveals his surprise, but he immediately leaps to give Steve the biggest hug and deepest kiss, sandwiching his face between his big, ring wearing hands. Steve's cheeks go pink and heat up because he can feel Eddie's hard-on pressing into the softness at his hip.

He pulls off and he's like

"Damn, Stevie, I missed you something fierce, but fuck me this time really seemed to agree with you," he punctuates with a chesty giggle slapping his hands to Steve's ass, feeling him up, and fixing him with a mischievous grin.

"I know, I missed you...Everyone kept taking me out to cheer me up, and the company helped, but then so did smoking your weed, and then stuffing my face. Guess I was kinda eating my feelings."

"And then some!" Eddie gently and lovingly rubs Steve's belly, still unconsciously grinding against him, unable to help himself, "It looks good. I mean really fucking good. Trying not to cream my pants right now." He's getting growly, kissing and nipping at Steve's neck, nuzzling that spot behind his ear that makes his knees weak.

"Well I guess-oh! I guess that settles that" Steve is getting hard in his jeans, and his breath hitches when he feels Eddie grab hold of and shave his belly, making Steve jump and he's just hypnotized by the jiggling.

"Damn fucking straight. But for now I need you naked so bad it hurts, Baby. I'm going to fuck you until I'm spent, feed you til you can't take anymore, then we're going to start all over again. So tell me what kind of food to order while we're at it so it's ready when we need it."

#misha speaks #chubby steve harrington #chaser eddie munson #chubby kink #Steddie #stranger things au

[vanilla-cigarillos]

My Practice and Chronic Illness

A fun fact about me, is that I’m someone who struggles with fibromyalgia on top of a myriad of other health issues (all of which are substantial in impacting my quality of life, but don’t come anywhere close to matching fibro’s toll). My practice (”magic, faith, etc”), as with many things in life, is heavily effected by said chronic illnesses. 

Living with fibromyalgia, I’m always tired. A heavy weight of exhaustion is always bringing me down to a state where some days it’s difficult to get out of bed. Taking care of myself with the bare necessities (eating, drinking water, etc) can sometimes prove to be all I manage within a day. Other times, the basics of self care (showering, washing my face) are the full extent to what I can manage. Living with a chronic illness sometimes means having to pick and choose what you spend energy on, because you have an extremely limited supply of capability. If you’re familiar with the “spoon theory” metaphor, you’ll gain a visual understanding of the assessment I have to make when I first wake up in the morning. Will I be able to cook myself a substantial meal today, or will I have to settle for low-energy snacks? Will I be able to attend my classes in person, or will I have to email the professor once again saying I can’t make it across campus?

With all of this in mind, practicing any sort of active faith can prove a challenge. The trials and tribulations of being born into constant pain have stripped me of the willingness to believe in an all-powerful and controlling God, and therefore I embraced the roots of Paganism that had been sewn into my childhood. Without going into my beliefs (may be reserved for another post) I’d like to detail how my practices interact with my chronic illnesses and lifestyle. 

I don’t attend church outside of my own home. My home, rather, is my church. I currently have two alters, both of which are new additions to my living space and I plan to add to their structures soon. 

However, outside of these spaces I treat my home as a temple. I wholeheartedly believe in treating my belongings with care and respect. I treat my home as if it had its own spirit, acting as its caretaker with my chores and cleaning. My home and its belongings protect and serve me, therefore I return the gesture. On days where I am having tremendous amounts of pain, I can relax and feel protected in a space that I have tended to and made my own. Whenever my chronic illnesses refuse to allow me out of the home, I feel the most connected to my faith because my house has become the temple through which I harbor my practices. 

I don’t pray to any specific entity. While I believe in nature herself having a spirit and presence, I don’t believe in prayer as a means to communicate with that which I have faith in. Instead, I show my intent and faith through actions. Tending to my alters, opening windows and letting nature seep into my temple, incorporating the outside world into my life, are all ways that I show my faith. I refuse to kill other creatures simply for existing within my space. Insects, pesky or otherwise, are all free to live when entering my home. All of nature’s creations have a soul, and I won’t snuff any out for the sake of my own comfort. I thank them all for what they do to keep the planet in motion, and I value nature’s ability in being able to create such life. Through this outlook on praying, I’ve found it easier to manage my chronic illnesses. Living with consistent, near agonizing pain creates a desperation that makes praying an act soaked with finality. When I was younger, I used to be spend hours of horrible sleepless nights praying to God to take away my pain just so I could catch a few hours of slumber. Expectations and hope made me bitter and removed, seeing my pain as some kind of wicked punishment from a god that refused to give me a chance to live an easier life. Through this unconventional perspective on prayer, I remove those expectations and allow myself to come to contented terms with my condition.

I don’t put any stress on myself to practice. Intent, in my opinion, cannot be purely felt whenever someone is forcing themselves to conduct any faith work. Instead of pressuring myself to fulfill a spell quota of the day, or perform any ceremonial rituals I don’t have the energy for, I look at self care as a type of worship and magic. Cooking food for myself and others is creating magic within the bounds of necessity. Creating beautiful flavors to fuel my body and flood my mind with serotonin gives me a sense of purpose on days where I was unable to leave the house. Showering and taking care of my body is a ritualistic act of self love. I put intent into my hair, protection into my skin care, and I honor my mind by allowing these gentle acts of worship to be moments of peaceful silence where all I focus on is myself. 

I honor my faith and practice through gentle care and self guidance. I believe that we all need to incorporate our faith into our lives, not the other way around. That way we are best able to serve through the trueness of who we really are, and our joy will be genuine as we indulge in whatever practice we choose. 

#witch #witchcraft #wicca #appalachia #appalachian #disabled #disability #chronic illness

[wwwwwvwwvwwvwvwvwvwv]

little camp stove

I'm taking a welding class, and we have some time in the class to work on whatever we want. i ended up spending a few weeks worth of classes making this little wood stove intended to be used for camping.

i was inspired to make this after finding that material with all of the little holes in it. the principle is straightforward, it just sucks in air from the bottom and makes the fire happen because heat goes up. the thing itself came out really nicely. I think it looks cool, and putting it together was fun

here's a video of the first burning, with my cute little mini firewood that i had to chop up to fit inside

of course, being that this was my first attempt at designing the stove, the issues came up when testing it. the principle of burning the wood worked exactly as intended, and the fire was great. i didn't take the smoke into account, though. it turns out there's a reason that wood stoves have an exhaust pipe and don't just billow the smoke directly onto your food.

here you can see that our test hot dogs are receiving a nice coating of carcinogens from the fire. i took a bite out of one of these hot dogs and the nasty chemically taste of the smoke and whatever other bullshit was coming out coated the inside of my mouth for like 2 hours

using a pan wasn't enough to save it, either. it turns out that obstructing the airflow with the pan conveniently creates a low pressure zone that sucks all of the smoke directly to where your food is

this thing is definitely doing a great job of burning the wood at least. unfortunately, though, the smoke issue makes this thing pretty much unusable. it's not useful as a cooker because of the smoke coating your food, and it's not useful as a heater because to be in a space small enough for it to heat would mean you're going to die of smoke inhalation before you get even warm. it's still cool, though, and i'm happy to keep it as an artifact.

this is just a first iteration, and I'm definitely going to try and make an improved stove to address the issues i found when testing this one.

I'm tempted to try and make some modifications to this stove to make it work better, but I think the internal volume of the thing is just too small for it to really produce a substantial amount of heat. If I were going to modify it, though, here are a few things I'd do:

weld a flat plate on top to create a cooking surface that doesnt coat your food in nasty bullshit

cut out an exhaust hole in the back and add in a pipe to get the smoke away from the food

have the door hinge horizontally rather than vertically. when you open the door on this thing the fire erupts out directly onto your arm lol

have an actual door latch instead of using a magnet. magnets stop working when they're really hot and the magnet isn't strong enough to hold the door shut when there's shit inside of it

i'm sure any astute stovist could take a look at my stove and immediately pick out every reason that it wasn't going to work, but what I really wanted to do was just wing it for a project and see what happens. in the end, i think this was a much more useful approach for me to take than it would have been to study stove designs and agonize over how i'm going to put it together. i ended up with a tiny shit stove that's useless, but the experience of conceiving, assembling, and testing it was much more enjoyable to me and a great way to learn. striving for perfection on the first attempt would have ended in me taking way fucking longer to make this, and it still would have just been a first attempt no matter what. it was very helpful for me to just put aside the uncertainty and let whatever happens happen.

i hope you enjoyed this, i want to make more blog posts like this when i make shit. it's a nice way to thought dump and share what i'm doing without sending two thousand messages to all of my friends

#stove

[hungry-tum-stuff]

🌲 Some Self-Indulgent Stanford Tum Hcs🌲

*Excuse the low-quality gif <3 Pretend you’re watching it on a VHS tape babes

I’m gonna start this off by stating that Ford’s probably used to good food. He’s from Jersey and comes from a generally well-off family, and as a native Northeaster myself, good food and regular meals are the centerpiece of most family interactions. I can’t vouch for how good of a cook Ford’s mother was, but in the very least, he wouldn’t have been going hungry. But I feel like most of his good memories around food would have been getting candy or a favorite snack from a boardwalk shop, or going out to diners to eat with Stanley after boxing practice.

However, that easy access to good food was sorely missed once Ford got to college and developed less regular eating habits. This is where his workaholic tendencies really started to prevail, and while his grades excelled, taking care of himself became less of a priority. He’d often spend hours (or during exam season, sometimes days) planted at his desk with nothing but coffee to keep him going. The only thing that could get him into the dining hall was if Fiddleford physically dragged him there, or if his stomach’s empty growling and cramping became too unbearable.

I feel like Ford’s stomach is just loud enough to be noticeable. It’s not deafeningly loud, but it’s noisy to the point where anyone sitting in class with him would be able to clock that he’s hungry. And his stomach is certainly louder when it’s hungry, seeing as he has a bad habit of neglecting it.

Ford himself doesn’t usually acknowledge his stomach’s noises, even if it sounds especially empty. He’s usually too absorbed in whatever his current project is to pay it any mind, and he can ignore a noisy stomach far easier than he can an achy stomach. Even if someone points out that his tummy is growling, he’s not the type to get embarrassed over it. He’d confirm that he’s hungry but that it’s “nothing to worry about” and that he’ll “attend to it later,” even if he hasn’t eaten for quite some time. He’d rather deny something’s wrong than admit he needs help, after all.

Ford does frequently fall victim to awful hunger pangs, unfortunately. Seeing as he eats semi-regularly most of the time, the instances in which he goes a few days without a solid meal will really do a number on his belly. These are much harder to ignore, and despite his best efforts he’ll usually try to brush them off until he’s nearly doubled over in pain and woozy from hunger.

Ford’s habits got a little better after he moved to Gravity Falls, he had a home and his own (still incredibly busy) routine, and when he wasn’t off catching and studying the latest creature of interest, he took some solace in cooking his own meals. As a result he became a fairly competent cook, which served him well when Fiddleford came to live with him.

Ford also does have a relatively healthy appetite, and just like his twin, he can pack a good amount of food away when he gets the chance. He’s a sucker for a good meal, and while it’s rare that he allows himself a substantial break, he absolutely relishes getting to indulge and then sitting back to enjoy being full for awhile.

Any healthy habits Ford had cultivated during his time in Gravity Falls crumbled when he met Bill and began work on the portal. Not only did the work completely consume him, but having Bill consistently possessing his body left him with huge chunks of time where his body was simply not taken care of in the slightest. That on top of the fact that he was already neglecting his needs, Ford was hungry more often than not. And the combination of hardly sleeping or eating didn’t serve him well once he discovered Bill had manipulated him, and it all compounded into his fits of rampant paranoia.

While in the portal, Ford had half-convinced himself that if he wasn’t as used to operating on so little food and sleep, then he wouldn’t have survived all that time. Of course, during his time between dimensions he was able to find things that were safe to eat, and thankfully eat enough to keep himself strong, but the beginning of his time in the portal was the hardest stretch of time he’d ever had to endure, and there were countless nights where he was kept up by the consistent aching and groaning of his gut. During that time, he’d never wanted anything more than to be stuffing his face in a diner with Stanley.

(Inspired by an ask from @submissiveandfeedable , thank you!)

#sfw hunger kink #stomach growling #tummy kink #headcanon #hunger kink #hungry #tummy #ask box

[tomyo]

Tomyo's Backlog Adventure: 1 Year Later

How it's going

It's been a little over a year since I made the backlog list. Admittedly I did not get through it much simply because I was extremely busy as an artist all that time. Initially I think I hoped I'd get a decent chunk through the DS games only to really never break through much.

What I got/played since

So what are the games I haven't listed?

Well let's see; Sonic and The Black Knight, Wii Music, Pokemon Pearl, Some Japanese Gameboy games of Hamtaro and Tamagotchi, the Dream Eye, Style Savvy Trendsetters, and as of this week, Tomodachi Collection and a substantial amount of Sim 3's content. (Edit: I can't remember if the islands HM DS games and sonic free riders were added on since) There is also a number of switch content that I just refuse to mentally process. Part of making the list was to address how I had gone feral with game collection but was not actually playing the games. I would say in some ways having that list helped me curb my unchecked spending which as you can guess got widely ignored for switch downloads. The irony is I would say I did a lot of switch gaming as well. Notable releases like Sonic Frontiers and Tears of the Kingdom were some of the games I ended up borrowing from the library and spending way too much time on. During the start of the year I was heavily gaming Splatoon 1 only to fail at my mission to collect all the gear before the servers went defunct. There's also been a part of me that spend the last 6 or so months hyper fixating on Tamagotchis. While not traditional games, they do indeed simply function as mini game systems and part of me sees the progression in them as my "gaming time".

What I want to get

Admittedly the urge to buy is flickering in me somewhat. Why? The rise is 3DS game costs. Now with the e shop closed, there is a renewed interest in content that had gone untouched for a while. The big wake up call for me was hearing Tomodachi life now goes for around $100 these days. My other experience in the last year is hunger for 3 things; The sonic games I missed during the GameCube/Wii era, Cooking Mama, and the Japanese series model debut. So here's my list:

Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask remakes

Legend of Zelda: A link between Worlds

Project Mirai with Cards

Nintendogs 3DS (while I have a digital download, I want physical)

Yet another copy of New Leaf

Story of Seasons

Pokemon Sun and Ultra Sun (the only two 3ds games I don't have from the mainline)

Pretty much every Cooking Mama game

Smash for 3DS and Wii U

ZombiU

Ducktales Remaster

Sonic Riders Zero Gravity

Shadow the Hedgehog

Sonic Shuffle

Loosely a few Japanese games like the soul eater one or the switch model debuts

Fashion Dreamer

Various Tamagotchis and Gigapets

Pocket Sakura

That Sega Eyetoy game

What I want to do

Some of the biggest hurdles are playing through Pokemon and Bokumono games on my list for very different reasons. Bokumono games are always a struggle because the require time being set aside to both plan out the game period and to marathon game days, especially during the 3DS era where this is a lot of mechanics to juggle. On the opposite end there is Pokemon to which most of the games on the list I want to stream my playthroughs as it's in part a ribbon master challenge. Pokemon games will probably stay put aside for an undetermined amount of time but I do want to clear out a lot of Bokumonos.

Right now I have been working through ANB to dizzying results. At some point recently I became very frustrated with the loop and set it aside leading to a hyper focus on FoMT's remake which is super easy and will likely hit my clear in just a day or two more of gameplay(my majors goals are to go through mining and fishing in the upcoming winter season and return to go for endgame houses and achievements at a later time). Admittedly I want to return to the battle that is ANB despite its frustration; feeling like I'm creating the progress is half the enjoyment is the struggle. Part of me even forgets what my end goal reach is for that one but my best guess at the moment is mainline story completion, yuri romancing, and full transition.

Onwards from that would likely be tackling either Trio of Towns or Animal Parade. Animal parade is certainly the harder of the two to pick up since it often requires the most effort to set up but of the two, I find it the more accessible story wise as simply every trio of Towns is overwhelming.

As for the casual dailies; Wild World and My Little Shop have been hard to call finished but also do not really have enough to move forward with. MLS is a pretty repetitive mini game series with a vague end goal of achieving clovers so I might just declare it finished with anyways. Wild World slowed to a crawl simply because I missed certain bug and fish seasons and on top of that is hard to enjoy when there is so little to do in game for progression outside of nonstop fishing/bug catching. Wild World might end up ending prematurely with just the encyclopedia completions since the act of endless money making for a house/charity doesn't appeal deeply to me when it is just an end goal. What might start up instead is a series on Nintendo's (and friends) various fitness trackers; My personal trainer walking, my weight loss coach, Wii fit U, the pokewalker, pocket Pikachu, pocket hello kitty, Pokemon go pikmin bloom, and for funsies the Fitbit and my phone's step tracker cuz it's cute. There's a personal love that Miiblr just exists here there's a good number of fitness things that exists around the miis. Part of me can loose the idea that I enjou watching the meters go up on these devices as the gameify walking. My Wii fit U meter has been carried with me for a while now as the goal to see the distance walked and the heights climbed is a huge enjoyment. Seeing as there are other counters, I see myself wanting to just reach a point carrying all of them for the fun of it.

Some games to stream; Pokemon Channel, Wii Music, Space Channel 5, Sonic Adventure, shenmue, and Time Stalkers all make the cut. As obviously mentioned so would most of my Pokemon games if not for being put on the back burner. Possibly towards the end of the month, I might return to some tiktok streaming with Wii Music and Pokemon channel (especially since this one is pretty camp themed). The dreamcast games are a little more tricky because I have a set up in mind but it's just hard to achieve currently. The other thing preventing streaming is my aforementioned job which takes up most of my nights these days. While most of these games are pretty easy to play in one sitting, the bigger rpgs might have difficulty.

And then finally friend plays; sonic 06 has been long on hold as I keep not visiting the very friend that lent me his PS4. At the same time, the latest game has not been decided for my yearly D trip yet; the choices stand as almost certainly Sonic Free Riders, Time Stalkers, Nintendoland, and shenmue.

As it stands I'd like to get out of the way 14-20 games on the list this year; a bunch already half played, some simply shallow games to begin with, 2-4 with the power of friendship, and about 4-7 requiring actual time investment. Additionally out of the 76 on the OG list; at least 7 of them are going to be shelved for now (the Pokemon ribbon master play throughs). Of that 69 (nice) left, 7 are known hold off, 6 are wrap ups, 3 require additional meddling, and 12 simply required setting aside time to play. There's still tons of games but since my art career is a bit on hold atm, I would like to delve into these games more this year.

#tomyo says shit #tomyo's backlog Adventure

[paycape]

#budgeting #HowtoSave #Save #Savings

[sims5leaks]

New Food Showcase + Our Selection Process

14 juillet

Hello everyone, Chloé here to present you today’s Patreon post!

A little while ago, we showed you all different meals in the new art style we chose for them on Patreon and social media. Since then, we have been working hard at another challenge: making a set list of food items to include for the game’s launch. I will be explaining our selection process, and will be featuring some of our new yummy foods! 

The Selection Process

We have been receiving a lot of suggestions for food to add to the game. We considered what the community suggested, did a brainstorm with the team, and then Léa and I sat together for hours on end to study the topic and create a list of different meals we would have in the game.

And that’s just a snippet of the list! So many hours went into deciding what would make the cut.

We had a few objectives in mind when coming up with the list:

We want different types of meals for the time of the day (i.e. breakfast, lunch, dinner)

We want different meals for different cooking skill levels (beginner to pro!)

We want some cultural variety in the meals; however, selecting only a few cultures is hard. We decided to prioritize meals that fit our objectives the most, and add further options in future game updates.

We want variety and choice for Paras dietary preferences or restrictions.

As we are only 2 artists working on this (while working on furniture items, and characters in Léa’s case), we have to be smart with our choice of food to make the amount of work necessary realistic for our small team while still having a substantial number of meals for the player to choose from.

The last point was crucial for deciding what would make it to the final list. There is a lot planned, so we needed to up our production speed for food. We prioritized meals that would offer a good variety while having the possibility of sharing the 3D object and textures. If that last bit sounds abstract to you, don’t worry; you will find examples in the section below!

Food Is Served!

Most of the food items done so far. One of the hardest things while working on food is resisting the hunger that comes with looking at food pictures all day!

Depending on the Para’s skill level, new soups will be unlocked. You will know which ones require more skill because the cream is different!

For the cream soups, we were able to create a lot of different types (asparagus, pumpkin, beet, etc) while minimizing the work required. Between the various flavors, we reuse most of the work and only need to do a few quick touchups. Tada! New cream soups can easily be created.

Pies! Do you prefer savory or sweet pies?

In this case, we chose a base pie in which the filling is mostly hidden until we cut a slice of it. As such, I only had to redraw the filling for the different types of pie we needed. Obviously, this look of a fully covered pie isn’t appropriate for all types of pies, so lemon pie will have to wait for now! (Sorry, lemon pie lovers! One day though, one day…)

Should we mayhaps add beans on toast?

For the breakfasts you see above, I created all the different elements and was able to mix and match them into different meals. Some little touch-ups here and there, and we get different spreads for our toasts, too! These will require some different skill levels, as it might be too daunting for a beginner to whip up a whole English breakfast by themselves!

Léa created this yummy pizza just in time to show you all!

Similar to the other items on the menu today, the pizza will serve as a base to iterate and create variations. Pineapple on pizza, anyone?

That about wraps up today’s Patreon post. I hope you aren’t too hungry now; I know I am, as I am typing this! I also hope this gives you some insight into our selection process for the food and what we will be showcasing in the future.

Have a great weekend! ((っ˘ڡ˘ς)🥄 🍛

Chloé

Edit - September 28th, 2023: This post is now public, feel free to share it!

#paralives

[hubbardmccoy83]

How Generate Silicone Moulds Without Air Bubbles

diesel driven air compressor . Depending on Portable air compressor , you might choose to be positive there are extensive accessory obtainable to setup an interview every ought to have. From air tools to cutting tools you should be sure your chosen group. The substantial thing for you to do is keep compressor clean. There are many parts among the machine you need to keep clean. These include the intake vents and tubes. The intake vents in particular need become cleaned frequent. These vents become clogged with dust and this means that the machine always be work longer. If you have a electric and gas compressor then you should clean the fuel take at least one time a decade. This will remove any residual build-up which may be cause along with the brewing system. If you are searching for a stylish boot, Diesel women's shoes has those, as so. They are easy to pull on, and the leather lining is breathable and restful. They are inspired by Western style, and are really simple to break over. A generator can be used for a backup to make the solar power system. screw And when you go anywhere that you need power but can't plug in, like a campground or maybe new construction site, dropped an engine generator will fill your requirements. In all ones cases, diesel is the best choice mainly because it will strive when just a few ingredients it, but at must not time could be stored away for long periods of time. Diesel fuels will not evaporate like gasoline, may another believe it in order to there when you have it. A person do actually need it, the generator possibly be available great working purchasing. It could be the easiest technique improve saving money credentials of the daily car. It is available right now in every areas. Most engines make use of it with no modification. You may also make your own, you can do it using waste cooking oil that ought to just spend. Let's all go buy gas trucks, right? Well, maybe. I just believe that both fleet fuels will get cheaper in 5 years. Think that gas prices proceeds down faster than diesel fuel prices and multiplication will be bigger than 50 cents, but may you be losing in the your fleet management answers? Contractors love the towable diesel powered air air compressor. Towable compressors are mounted on wheels and have a tow hitch them straightforward hook up and in order to the necessary location. An example of a towable diesel is the LeRoi Portable Compressor 185 CFM Diesel powered. It operates at 100 psi at 2250 rpm's using a tank capacity of 32 gallons. The abbreviations benefits of determine the rating. CFM represents cubic feet per minute. That's amount of air the compressor takes in per time. The higher the CFM quicker and more robust the unit is. The psi may be the pounds per square inches wide. The psi is really a factor your CFM. Air compressors can run in different power starting points. Some can run off of electricity, while others run on gasoline. Gasoline powered compressors tend deliver a much power than these in electrical power variation. However due to its exhaust fumes, it's a bad one for indoor use.

#screw compressor #Air Compressor #rotary screw compressor #Portable air compressor #rotary air compressor