Mi ricordo la prima volta
che ho visto la forma della tua bocca
e ho continuato a fissarla
finché il mio sangue
non si è trasformato
in pioggia.
Certe cose mettono radici
nel tuo cervello
e non ti mollano.
I haven’t blogged like this since hs but I was just thinking my mom got mad at me the other day cuz I had to cancel plans with her kinda last minute and she was mad I didn’t give her a heads up. There’s a lot more to it than that but basically she made me feel terrible for having to cancel even though it wasn’t supposed to be a big deal. Maybe it was to her but I had to choose to say no because I had work the next day and I didn’t want to be out past dark when I live like five towns over. ANYWAY what I realized today is that I was crying over upsetting her when I could’ve totally pulled a psycho move and made plans just to cancel on her. Like if I didn’t have empathy or want her approval or just didn’t f*cking care about her feelings that’s definitely what I would do. I’m just saying I could be a lot worse.
Aemond kisses the way he does everything—it’s hard and it’s mean and it’s unyielding. It matches the way his hips grind down against Luke’s, punishing denim against denim in a pain/pleasure rhythm that gets them both going for diametrically opposite reasons (two halves of the same coin the sun and the moon the dark and the light).
I definitely don’t hate Tumblr, but in recent years I’ve become ever more aware of the flaws of this website, and how my reactions to it have not always been helpful to me. I’m trying to somehow construct a routine or set of principles or something that will allow it to return to the level of enjoyment that I had in my early years of this site, because I think it will be a shame if I can never get that back. I can still feel bits of it at times, and that’s what’s compelling me to return and to try to improve things.