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presiding · 5 months

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a doctor turned serial killer turned doctor again, an actor who paints, a gang leader, a mining baron, and a vice overseer walk into the room.

oh yeah and they lead karnaca now.

dishonored 2 is my fav game but i think it's mid, story-wise. here's why dh1 works and why dh2's overarching story sorta misses

tl;dr: story integration is critical for gameplay that offers audience payoff, but emily's personal arc from dishonor to honor is inconsistently demonstrated in the story, and is not an interactive part of the gameplay.

essay/long version under cut >

recap: what's dishonored's deal

[skip if you want] dh1 is an underdog story: corvo is an honorable man swept up in the machinations of a callous city, so his canonical ending being 'this child will rule over an empire' isn't about the child's rule but rather about corvo's reputation being restored in a more hopeful city, due to his & the player's rejection of the violent connotations of the tagline 'revenge solves everything.'

similarly, in dh1 DLCs, daud's story arc is that of an anti-hero: a dishonorable man who realises too late he has done irreparable harm. he sees the error of his ways after a single monumental death, and eventually a single life redeems him when he/the player stepped in to circumvent a terrible fate for a child, enabling her to rule unfettered.

daud & corvo come to a satisfying conclusion within the extent of their narrative arcs. it doesn't matter that a child on a throne isn't really a fix for a decaying empire - the player's actions throughout the city of dunwall was what mattered - and these stories could be framed as parables. in that sense, young emily as a ruler is a metaphor for a hopeful future for the city & empire.

dishonored 1 & its DLCs are also great examples of storytelling with perfectly integrated gameplay - you, the player, worked towards the outcome that redeemed the protagonists.

in your efforts to save young emily, you either achieved a good outcome (corvo) or prevented a worse outcome (daud).

bringing us to dh2 -

what's emily's arc

emily's arc is a coming of age: we're introduced to a reigning empress who questions her role & skillset ("am i the empress my mother wanted me to be?"), then her titular fall from grace occurs. from there, she learns to reject the violent, selfish connotations in 'take back whats yours' tagline (a la daud & corvo!) while rediscovering why her rule is critical to the empire.

emily's rule is no longer metaphorical, but:

a literal thing for audience assessment (is emily a good ruler?) AND

the crux of her storyline.

at the beginning of dh2, emily is introduced as a disengaged leader ("i wish i could just run away from all this;" "i dont know if whether i should sail to the opposite side of the world, or have everyone around me executed"). the antihero has a precedent for the dishonored series in daud, so it's not at first glance an issue*, however, the fact that emily has ruled poorly reframes corvo & daud's endings as being less than ideal (a moralistic retcon) *we could talk here about how ready an audience was in 2016 for a flawed women as a protagonist, hell, even in 2023,,,

throwback to the beginning of this essay when i said:

'this child will rule over an empire' isn't about the child's rule but rather about corvo's reputation

emily's story arc, unlike for daud & corvo, is literally about the quality of her rule. we're no longer in metaphor territory (ironic phrase): a parable-style ending doesn't work.

does emily become a good ruler

we know she becomes a good ruler because the game says so. it is narrated to the audience via a (literal) word of god in the space of 30 seconds, after the final boss. the outsider tells us that emily becomes known as Just & Clever.

drawing a distinction here - this narration is not the same as the player actively being involved.

the player does not throughout the game become aware that emily has made political allies. during the game, she doesn't talk to these characters about saving karnaca or being a better ruler to the empire (there's a few lines might imply it, but you need to be actively looking and being careful to wait for every voice line. it's a far cry from daud & corvo's fight to save emily being unmissable - even though daud doesn't know at the beginning that's the goal).

how does the game show it

you can coincidentally not kill most of your subjects and never be aware that emily is looking to restore karnaca by means of instating a council - it's never brought up. it *couldn't* be brought up, because that council serves under the fake duke (armando), who is the last person she speaks to before she leaves for dunwall. its her suggestion that he rules karnaca, but armando's condition is that he will rule as he sees fit.

to back up a bit, emily's canonical method of restoring karnaca is by banding together key allies - hypatia, stilton, [byrne &or paolo], pastor, under a council beneath the duke's body double. they are passionate people who would each individually make worthwhile advisors, but if you think about those characters sitting at a table trying to reach an agreement, it feels like an assortment of people that emily didn't kill along the way and doesn't feel organic (up to interpretation). it's not stated if emily herself banded this council together, but logically she must have (worth a mention these are mostly characters that you as the player had reasonable rationale to kill during a high chaos run, except pastor). the underlying concept may be that karnaca's power is returned to its people - which is interesting given that the monarchy remains and armando's decision is final.

this overarching solution could also be taken as a critique to dh1's 'put your kid on the throne,' which is another reason its worthwhile looking at how emily was shown to be a better leader. obviously my point isn't that her solution was bad given the circumstance, but i mean she has very little agency here in all. if emily was shown to be more controlling as a leader, this could be interpreted as character growth, but that's not the case.

coming of age

how do you learn & grow when you can't specify your failings? emily doesn't really touch on her shortcomings as an empress. she non-specifically worries delilah makes a better empress than her. it's hard to argue her worries are meaningful when someone good at their job will still worry when lives are in the balance.

emily's best 'aha' moments (eg. crack in the slab comment about gaining perspective) are consistently undercut by a conversation with sokolov or meagan afterwards in which she demonstrates she hasn't learned anything (before the grand palace, emily condemns 'toadies sucking up to me' and is reminded by meagan that she's part of the problem). the story is confused about what it's trying to say about emily's progress, and when she's meant to show progress, if she was meant to show any progress at all. it could be argued that emily was never even a bad ruler, she had just been fed misinformation about the problems in karnaca and been the victim of slander by her political enemies. the game doesn't make this clear - it's easier to argue that the opposite is true given that her allies only have criticism.

worth a mention here that the heart quotes about armando - a fake ruler - interestingly mirror emily's character concerns. "see how he sighs? his life is a gilded cage." but this essay is already long.

while corvo & daud spend their games (and through the gameplay) 'earning' their redemption, emily is being led by the NPCs around her to a conclusion and a fix for the political mess in karnaca: meagan & sokolov guide emily to her missions, and there's no recurring quest for emily to investigate possible allies. she is able to gather the people she hasn't killed to herself by manner of... post-game narration. during the game, she's primarily concerned with getting her throne back.

an easy fix: if there had been less dialogue & narrative focus on emily's failings perhaps the ending would have felt more satisfying. it has the feel of cut content, but i don't know what was cut to be able to comment on it.

so what went wrong?

i can't help but wonder if arkane were worried they would lose a certain demographic if corvo wasn't playable (may have been deemed too much of a risk - 2013 was a different time), and so they had to take out story elements that were unique to emily's growth as a character/empress, because the usual storyline/gameplay integration had to work for both characters - in other words, gameplay that made sense for both corvo & emily was prioritised before emily's story & character development. which is a silly problem to have in a game that added character voices for the sake of improving characterisation - maybe emily's tale would have felt more akin to a parable if she had less lines that betrayed her ignorance (to the disdain of those around her).

i wish more care had been taken with emily's story. most players will never really notice the large variety of different endings - they're not particularly satisfying in and of themselves.

it's ironic that one of Emily's complaints is about her father/protector being overbearing, when his (parallel universe) presence in the gameplay may be one of the reasons her own narrative arc falls flat.

what are the upsides here

changing tune from what didn't work - don't you think the concept is fantastic? it's a great idea overall - can you imagine if the coming of age storyline was better integrated into the game?

it's valuable to talk about the integration of story and gameplay and characterisation from a craft perspective. dh2 genuinely is my favourite game - it's beautiful, the imm-sim design philosophy makes the world a delight to explore, the combat gives endless creative options for tackling any fight, there is a far greater diversity of cast in an in-text canonical way. there's loads to love!

i love emily as a dodgy leader, to me it adds interesting dimensionality to the outsider's narrations - of course in dunwall there's never a neat happily ever after! emily, like the outsider, both work well as characters who hold ultimate power but aren't necessarily worthy of it - and this makes perfect sense for the dishonored universe's morality & critiques of power. however, within this grey area there's still plenty of room for a satisfying ending, which isn't what we ended up with, whatever the true reason for that was. and also, damn, emily's a marked assassin empress, if she can't lead well then who can?

while dh1 was criticised for its narrative simplicity, dh2 in contrast and in hindsight shows us that simplicity isn't so bad - there's satisfaction in gameplay achieves a clear, simple narrative goal.

#are you a dh1 enjoyer but less so a dh2 enjoyer?#have you ever wondered why you don't love dh2 as much?#here's 1.8k words that might articulate some of that.#light reading.i guess #this essay wasn't meant to cover everything - just the core of the plot and why its important to integrate story & gameplay #and to compare dh1 & 2 #dishonored #dishonored 2 #dishonored 2 spoilers #emily kaldwin #daud #corvo attano #this week i'm cracking things out of my drafts!#<333 don't get me started on doto.#some of this might be contentious. idk i try to live in a bubble #the meme version was easier to read i know i know #this essay would have been a lot longer had i integrated more references from the game #i know a few others have said this but imagine if they went a different way with emily #like she realises shes not fit for the job and maybe no one is and says fuck the system cause shes got a rebellious streak #and does a kickflip on the monarchy and institutes something else. i dont even care what. make it funny #and then for the sake of continuing the trend we spend dishonored 3 undoing the horrible leadership emily instates <3 #i think they really loved emily as a character. i FEEL the love i believe its there.but didn't think enough bout how she would be perceived #there's a good couple comments from baldur's gate 3 devs about how much work goes into writing women to account for sexism #there's more that i could have added to this essay but for brevity's (ha.ha) sake i'll leave it there #other textposts about this game that i see around tend to romanticise dishonoreds story a little more

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bbaycon · 6 months

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Some riz au lait doodle for the start of december

It was chocolate flavoured tea

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wayfinderships · 8 days

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One of my favorite thoughts is my f/os interacting with my plushies. I think more people should imagine their f/os with their plush(ies) <3

#pan rambles #I think all my s/is are Plushie Enjoyers just like me! even the ones that look all >:|#So it's really fun to imagine my f/os with said plushies because they're such a comforting item to me!#Methinks they'd think my plushies are cute👉👈#I was specifically thinking about S.hizuo and how my s/i would often let him hold their beloved plushies early in their relationship!#Mainly bc he was too scared to hold Panchi- He was worried that he'd hurt them bc of his strength #But Panchi wanted him to have something to hold so plushie it is!!! S.hizuo slept very well. that night methinks 👉👈#Also he's surprisingly good at crane games so he can win even more plushies for Panchi!!

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firstofficerkittycat · 4 months

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this is gna age so well when 15 has more than an hour and a half of screen time and 14 is confirmed to be the valeyard

#doctor who #memes #my brother asked me to make this and I had a breakdown over the setup of this template cus like #its either about their morals/the vibes of their respective eras or it is an evilness scale #and the meme wants me to swap 10 and 11s places but I will not #also if ur a 7 enjoyer and have come to the conclusion that I dont know him u would be correct #I just think its funny #tell me he's not like that tho #really and truly #tell me he wasn't who 10 was talking about when he said he manipulated people into killing themselves #as someone who has seen like 2 episodes of him one of them being happiness patrol I am correct

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 7 months

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yeehaw just wrote over 3k and i can't publish Any of it without miles of fantasy au context

#technically its a full scene and a half #brain: hey what if a solid thousand words was just silly puppets having breakfast #and then i said 'damn youre so right' and yeah. silly puppets having breakfast and arguing over ale vs mead #i love writing from barnaby's pov. im so unfunny that its ruining his reputation #i go There Could Be A Joke Here #but head Empty so there isn't one. i continue on. rinse and repeat #anyway big scene of barnaby and wally bonding #as i was writing i was honestly like 'the wallaby enjoyers would have a field day with this'#am i one of them? no. however i know my 'qp barnaby and wally' belief bleeds into my writing #so yk. its easily read either way.#of course i immediately counteract it by sprinkling in a laughingstock crumb or two but yk yk #fantasy au is so fun to chew on... everyone gets to say Fuck and threaten genuine violence...#absolutely unprompted #speaking of writing im actually going to Attempt nanowrimo this year #im gonna try to belt out the roughest rough draft of a standalone book idea #i still need to finish the outline but! im sure i can do that in 10 days!#but anyway ive been having so many fantasy au feelings lately idk why #i think i need to rewatch lotr! extended editions of course im not an animal.#well i am. but - yeah whatever yall get it #im craving that sweet sweet high fantasy & worldbuilding & high quality cinema

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vixscribs · 2 months

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despite benrook being a decently popular ship I can't seem to get behind a lot of fan content I see. Those are coworkers. There's no way they're snuggling and shit that's highly unprofessional.

#maybe its my aroace ass not being able to fathom that stuff being enjoyable #but also the well mannered and space cop and the cocky 17 yo white boy superhero are not going to act like a normal couple #there is no way they properly address any feelings towards each other #theres no way rook would date his boss's grandson (the one he was directly assigned to by said grandfather)#also ben is a 17yo boy from 2015 gay marriage is just getting legalized #doubt the guy turning into/dealing with/dating aliens would be super opposed to gay people but he's also a public figure #then again hes shown that he can live without being idolized if he believes whats he doing or believes in is right #but again acting on those feelings with your cowoker/best friend so easily? eeehhhh #i will probably change my mind later #i want to see them struggle thats all #their misery and refrain brings me entertainment #benrook #ben 10 omniverse #rook blonko #ben tennyson #im over thinking this #unresolved homosexual tension...let that shit stew...#they've been tormenting me i want them out of my head #also i like the ship. if thats not clear.

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hypokeimena · 1 year

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don't ever change (4x12) is the best episode of house

minimal hate crimes SLASH patient is jewish and i'm jewish so i get to decide where the line is for the hate crimes i will personally accept and for me: it's tolerable.

medical condition makes sense and is not insane. (house md fandom wiki rates this ep as 'zebra factor 1')

i guess i sort of said this in 1, but broadly speaking, just do love it when there's jews. bonus: only orthogonal housonian antisemitism! ('it's fine to be jewish, just not religious about it,' which like. is shitty. but this is hate crimes md and see #1.)

thirteen gets outed. bi pride! #representation

house realizes wilson is dating amber volakis AKA 'cutthroat bitch' and explicitly, with his human words, says "you're dating me!" when he realizes, and then, later, 'you could do worse than dating a female proxy of me' when he's decided to give them his blessing

at the same time, in this episode, house knows... way too much about judaism. like, more than the reform/liberal jews on his team. i think it's taub* (jewish) who describes the prayer the hasidic patient's husband says over her - "he's singing, something about eshet hayil" - and house instantly knows and explains that this is a prayer for a husband to say over his wife, calling her a woman of valor. this is a thing that plenty of jews would not necessarily recognize off the top of their heads! this is something that very few goyim would know off the top of their heads.

this is just one example but he consistently has huge reservoirs of information about jewish stuff that the other jewish characters on the main cast do not know or are not chosen to be the ones to convey to the audience. thus: house knows truly just so much about judaism, and uses about half of it to be an obnoxious jerk.

why does he know all this stuff.

why is he insane and over the top about wilson's judaism in the (previous) christmas episode as well. he takes it more seriously than wilson does. by a significant factor

NOW, TO SYNTHESIZE SEVERAL OF THE ABOVE POINTS INTO A MATHEMATICAL PROOF FOR WHY THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE OF HOUSE:

this is making me insane. like i don't know how to explain this. did he learn this stuff - did he take a conversion class specifically to be able to bully wilson? WHY DOES HE KNOW THIS. WHAT DID HE DO.

i'm normal about it

how is house going to be like "i give you permission to date a lady version of me instead of dating me" while he is clearly advertising what an amazing jewish wife he would make for wilson

it's just a perfect episode.

#*it might not be taub. i watch house on 1.5x while knitting & not looking at the screen and i dont know the new voices super well yet.#as i've said previously: this would not be enjoyable if i weren't in a delirious haze of watching bucketloads of s4 leading up to this #s4 is imo especially and outstandingly awful because of the new fellow competition #one of the few blorbo emotions that is genuinely blorbo-shaped and not filled with hate that i have about greg house md #is that he NEEDS to convert to judaism but that he's been resisting for so long because he doesn't want ppl to think it's to marry in.#okay. back to hating this man with my whole chest. he's evil.#housemd

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tachyon-omlette · 1 year

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Eda gets a Yatter account (based on a conversation I had with @soundcrusher, ft. @thewiglesswonder‘s oc Mac - or, well, her Yatter account)

full image:

(and without the green optic filter)

#tachyon-art #transformers #maccadam #tfa #transformers oc #oc: eda of unicron #sentinel prime #the rest are just yatter accounts so i dont think i'll tag for em #yes this is based on the 'well i can pick him up like this' cat #soundcrusher when you see this i swear ill draw flinch & other autobots but I had to get this out of my system #& wig thank you for being patient & letting me ask about yatter handles #REALIZING THIS TOOK ME 3 HOURS #dedication to the craft ig #YES this is also the yatter page from the almanac vol2 but slightly edited because WHY in god's name would I make a bg myself #that being said the bg from the sentinel picture is also from one of the almanacs. thank you tfa almanacs #anyway I hope this is funny. sideways is making a cameo too see if you can find it #and for those of you who would call me a sentinel enjoyer know that i do this to torment him. i want him to suffer for his arrogance #(kept the trending yatts the same because this picture wouldve probably been taken while they were still relevant)

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anti-dazai-blog · 8 months

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see the thing that makes stories interesting is conflict. Which is why audiences don’t tend to enjoy it when a story goes “plot twist! there was never any conflict to begin with!”

#This is about Chuuya not being a vampire in the first place #And Dazai pulling the “I knew everything all along and it was all according to plan”#plus any emotional or psychological conflict both of them would have had over the entire situation #it’s just. Eurghhhhhh #bad.#it’s. not enjoyable to most audiences unless you like it for reasons of personal taste #Because “there was never any conflict to begin with” carries just about the same weight as “it was all a dream”#Oh that thing that I thought happened? The thing that made the story interesting? Yeah it never happened.#my GUY. why tell a story if not to tell it sincerely.#like I said before this is the same as marvel movies killing their sincere moments with quips and one-liners

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doctorwhoisadhd · 3 months

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okay im thinking about midnight burger <--> doctor who now.

#listening to doom coalition and ive only just started the red lady but COME ON THAT IS CLEMENTINE RIGHT THERE #and it would make sense for the creator of midnight burger to have listened to this since theyre both. you know. audio fiction #ari opinion hour #fav midnight burger characters btw are probably terric and caspar. and effie and zebulon tbh #its funny usually if theres an insane woman with a love interest whos just like Some Guy i am FAR more interested in the woman #(source: gwen cooper‚ jordan from scrubs‚ annika strandhed)#but its actually the exact OPPOSITE way here #although me being a terric enjoyer is... highly unsurprising.#as for caspar though. what can i say except he said he likes birds that one time #really though there isnt really one midnight burger character im that obsessed with i think theyre all fascinating but theres none that #stand out to me as Blorbos™

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daincrediblegg · 3 months

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Nothing wrong with me

#behold: the sowed seeds of my upped vitamin d dose #just would like to say that part of this is sponsored by a couple of very kind inboxers who reached out and said that they DID want to know #more about lady terror and which really helped reinvigor my motivations #and I WILL be answering those asks soon enough #(harder to do until I have my laptop back. like I’m sorry y’all I literally wish I knew what I was on in 2019 when I was writing all my #joker headcanon fics on my phone but I cannot replicate that and I dare not even try #)… but regardless it will happen #but also yeah so this is a 6 page chapter summary for the fic and I’ve just started on chapter 2 and this will help a lot when #I get my computer back I think I’ve cleared my head a lot about this fic while not having it #but anyway #yeah uh…#egg’s wip’s #moral of the story is telling people you wanna hear about their oc’s that they’ve been working on for a whole year works #also went down a classical music rabbit hole about it today if that’s of interest to anyone but… me #bc one of my students did a presentation on poe’s impact on music theory and danse macabre which incited me to get familliar with composers #and pieces that would have actively been known in the 1840’s and have wanted to do since that bit about schubert on crozier’s hand organ #got dropped in the scripts #I think they’re going to feud on classical music tastes #average beethoven and chopin stan vs schubert enjoyer FIGHT #(except the serenade. that song was actually written about lady terror I’ve decided)#also thinking about lady terror and poe bc he’s said himself music is the highest art. they are concert buddies for sure #I bet that mf liked beethoven. poe is a big bass guy if I’ve ever seen one #it’s the drama you see

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hadesknockedupintheunderworld · 11 days

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No one:

Me: Okay, but what if their relationship has nothing to do with Sonic and Tails? What if Metal literatally just saw Eggman working on Tails Doll and assumed without proof that they were created for him? What if Metal quite literally attached to Tails Doll through this assumption and then their partnership progressed naturally? What if the inorganic creations fell in love as an unorthodox power couple and just so happened to resemble a famous partnership?

#sonic the hedgehog #metal sonic #metdoll #tails doll #i just be ramblin #I am a great Sontails enjoyer okay #and I would be lying if I said I didn't originally consider this pairing because of this #However there is hilarity in making the relationship coincidental and have nothing to do with Sonic & Tails as there is interest to me in #inorganic beings growing close to each other and experiencing feelings they should not be able to #Eggman has a knack for even accidentally creating robots with souls #But also while I love the 'robot learns about love by spending time with a human'#I think it would be interesting for two inorganic beings to grow souls and develop/navigate feelings they should not be able to #feel together‚ even if they don't quite understand the exact nature of their relationship or what 'love' is (or possibly even that it *is* a #form of love)#I think of two beings who are not supposed to be 'real' so to speak developing that quality of 'realness' by seeing each other #Kingdom Hearts did this to me btw #Nobodies and data copies and replicas and toys and HECK even in terms of people that are considered real #The ability to grow hearts when others see you and believe that you are real #The idea that you only truly exist when someone else sees you and believes in that existence #kingdom hearts has forever affected the chemistry of my brain #Oh and also if you're reading this and you do see me make a post later that's more related to Metal and Tails doll forming any sort of bond #because of Sonic and Tails‚ know that I am aware of this. I know what I said #The dynamic I've talked about here is a preferred one but I contain multitudes and sometimes it is fun to be like 'this relationship began #in any capacity because of sonic and tails' even if it could hypothetically develop without that connection #anyways #Metdoll💖💖#Oh wait one last thing. While this is a ship post I'm actually a bit fan of complex relationships #So if you have to put a name to the desired relationship I put Metdoll in it's better described as queerplatonic‚ but it's complex #They're just not siblings to each other. That's all

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lunar-years · 18 days

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New 1989 outfit is fugly (I’m so sorry Taylor) but very reminiscent of 1989 tour (when many of the costumes were indeed also fugly 🫡)

The acoustic set outfit is also worse :(

Combining folklore and evermore is meh tbh like I don’t love that at all but I also completely see why it had to be done

I stared at the “this is not Taylor’s Version” t shirt for an embarrassingly long amount of time trying to figure out what on earth she was trying to say and I still think it’s not something that makes much sense out of context/accompanied by a side explanation and it was a weird choice for the shirt lmao.

ttpd set goes incredibly hard 100/10 NO NOTES.

her coming out in that same freaking reputation jumpsuit after changing every other outfit in the show was peak comedy (she’s so funny and we can never talk about that enough)

the entire shape of the show has changed imho so I think it’s fair for fans to be sad about missing last years half or missing this years half or about not getting to see certain songs or about not getting tickets at all to a show that was incredibly difficult and expensive to get tickets to in the first place. It feels like two separate shows. And we are allowed to express sadness or fomo without being dubbed immediately ungrateful/bad fans (obviously there’s a limit and legitimately complaining/getting mad at Taylor for doing her own show how she wants to do it/threatening to no longer go [lol, plenty of fans are in line to take your tickets] is goofy deadass, but)

I do wish she’d just done a separate ttpd tour (even if we had to wait several years and the tour was combined between ttpd and the next potential album) but I can also recognize that I’m mostly saying that because of how desperately I want to hear ttpd songs live and the knowledge I won’t be able to

I also think her deciding to add it now, combined with the general length and scope of eras tour, is evidence that she is planning to take a long break from touring once it’s over (NOT in the weird ‘she’s going to retire to have babies’ way!!! Just in an ‘I think she’s planning to take a touring break’ straightforward way)

I’ve seen some people already taking the transition from but daddy I love him into so high school as confirmation that their theory that the last verse is actually about Travis is correct. But as someone with song literacy, I merely take it as confirmation that Taylor saw the theory, thought it worked fabulously, and enjoys retconning her own songs to aid her own whims and happiness (which is so beyond real of her and also incredibly funny)

Playing so high school as the only anthology song for kicks and giggles was so cute of her she’s down soooo bad for that man

Midnights body suit is hotter than ever and she herself is also hotter than ever

Loml as the surprise song at THAT show after I’d made that post….you have to laugh LOL 🙃

If anyone has near face value tickets for sale for USA or Canada shows later this year I will genuinely offer you my firstborn child plus the money in exchange god bless

#ts #eras tour #Taylor swift #I am so so so so sad about my situation and why I couldn’t be there and losing so much money #esp. because the show I did see last year coincided with a very difficult event #and I do not feel like I was in the right headspace to enjoy being there as much as I wish I had #like it just doesn’t feel fair that horrible shit keeps happening to me over and over #to the point of tarnishing even the stuff I was so so fucking excited about.#but that said. I am trying very very very hard not to let this dampen my enjoyment of the tour/taylor #because I LOVE being an armchair fan!! even when I’m not at the shows I love being on here talking to you guys about it #and I don’t want that to change I don’t want my life to ruin that for me #anyway #seeing too much about yesterday still makes me unbearably sad so I’m not scrolling #I just went on to an update account and read through what happened #I have not watched any videos and idk if I will ever be able to 😭#just wanted to note down my initial thoughts #anyway this is all the annoying posts I would have normally made yesterday all in one annoying post for y’all’s enjoyment 😂

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