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broadstbroskis · 4 years

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drunk dial | auston matthews

a very long time ago, an anon sent me an ask with a prompt that was like “so we’re just ignoring the fact that you drunk dialed me to tell me you love me?” with auston and @nolypats and i have been chatting recently and, well this is finally completed

-----

It’s a typical Saturday night and the boys don’t have another game until Wednesday, somehow, someway, so you arrive at Scotiabank Arena dressed for the bar after and notice immediately that you aren’t the only one who’d made the choice to do so.

“Ohhh.” Steph runs her fingers along the sleeve of your leather jacket as soon as you slip into the seat beside her. “I love this! New?”

You nod at her, but are already busy gushing over her sweater to answer anything else about the jacket, which you’d openly lusted over for months before your best friend had surprised you with it for your birthday a few weeks ago, despite your insistence to Auston that it was too much.

Steph seems to have been waiting for you to arrive because as soon as you do, she flags down Alannah, who grins as soon as she sees you. “Wine o’ clock!” She cheers and you grin, standing and following the two of them to the closest spot in the club level for you each to get a glass.

It sets the tone for the evening, with the three of you giggly and tipsy by the time the game ends and you meet up with everyone in the lounge downstairs.

“Oh boy.” Zach’s eyes widen almost comically, when he’s the first one to approach the three of you, coming out of the locker room fresh off his shower. Alannah straight up squeals when she sees her husband, throwing her arms around him like she hasn’t seen him in days or weeks, instead of like five hours, and you give the reaction the giggles it deserves, hearing Steph join in right behind you. “Oh boy.” Zach repeats, looking between the three of you.

“What’s going on?” Mitch asks, appearing at his side, with Auston and Will right behind him.

“It’s wine o’ clock, bitch!” Steph cheers, erupting into a fit of giggles, and that’s the last thing you remember.

-----

Considering how much your head is pounding the next morning, you’re just happy to wake up in a bed, even if you know right away that it isn’t your own. It takes you a few minutes to open your eyes, but you breathe a sigh of relief when you do, taking in the familiar sights of one of Steph and Mitch’s guest rooms.

Poor Mitch. You bite back a laugh, taking your time to sit up at the edge of the bed, and a couple deep breaths as it makes your headache even worse. You might not remember last night, but you know from prior experience that having to wrangle a drunk you and Steph back here was no easy task for him. You owe him big time.

The two of them are both, unsurprisingly, already awake when you make your way downstairs, nursing large and larger cups of coffee. “Any more of that?” You ask hopefully, and Mitch snorts, while Steph points pathetically toward the counter.

There is, blessedly, a good portion of the pot still left, and still warm, and you pour it in a mug, hugging it toward your chest like the lifeline it’s about to be. “Sorry, Mitch.”

“You will be when you see the pictures.” Mitch says cheerfully, way too cheerfully for this early in the morning, especially considering how hungover you are.

You groan immediately, noticing Steph’s done the same only after she bangs her head against the counter and follows it with a soft, “Ow.”

“Where’s my phone?” You whine reluctantly. You might as well get the roast over with.

Your phone is hiding in the blankets of the bed you’d slept in, almost dead, where you’d apparently just thrown it at some point. Steph’s already back in the kitchen when you make your way down, her face paling even as she occasionally laughs at whatever she’s scrolling through.

Your own phone has more than a few messages with pictures from last night, as well as a few more chats that are blowing up with texts this morning, commenting from last night, but there’s one message that catches your eye.

It’s from Auston, separate from any of the group chats, and it catches your eye because it’s just...not like a usual text he’d send you? you good? is the only thing he’s sent, no emojis, nothing, and it’s strange enough that you ignore the other incoming texts to explore through your phone a little to see what you could have done to get a text like that.

Instagram and Snapchat both yield nothing- embarrassing videos, sure, but nothing overly terrible- and the photos making their way through the texts are the same, but your call log is another story.

“Shit.” You groan, swiping back into your messages with your best friend.

“What?” Steph asks.

“I called Auston, like, ten times last night.” You tell them, more focused on texting him. i’m sorryyyyy. didn’t mean to keep you up

it’s good. He sends back a few minutes later, and you frown, because as cool and chill as he might pretend to be, he’s not, and this is strange.

couch movie day? You ask him. The coffee has done the trick; you at least feel like you could move, and there’s no better way to spend a hungover Sunday than with your best friend, lounging on his supremely comfortable couch. i’ll even agree to football if that’s what you so desire.

yeah alright, that sounds good. It’s punctuated with the fingers forming the ok sign emoji,though, and that, at least, is close enough to normal that you smile. You must have kept him up later than you even realized with your calls, for him to be so short with you.

“Alright lovelies.” You suck down the last bit of coffee and address your hosts. “Thanks for the bed last night. I owe you big time, Mitch.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll come collecting!” He teases.

“Headed to Auston’s though.” You press a kiss to Steph’s head and then Mitch’s as well. “Comfy sweats and a couch calling my name.”

——-

When you let yourself into your best friend’s place, it comes as almost no surprise to find a giant ginger sitting at the counter. “Freddie!” You beam, throwing your arms around him and regretting it pretty quickly, once your head starts to pound again. He starts to squeeze you, returning the hug, but you shake your head quickly. “Nope, don’t do that.”

“Alright, fair enough.” He laughs. “So rough night last night, huh?”

You level him with a look but he barely even blinks, and you sigh. “Where’s Auston?”

“Right here.” Your best friend is still shirtless as he walks out of his bedroom, yanking some ridiculous graphic tee over his head as he gets closer, which gives you the second you need to look away and take a breath after even just that tiny minute of exposure. Auston’s abs are honestly unfair and they are, objectively, not even his best feature. “Hey.” He gives you a nod, fixing the glasses he tries to pretend he’s too cool to actually need, refusing to wear them outside the house unless absolutely necessary, and you grin back; as annoyed as he may have seemed over text, he’s not acting that way at all now.

“Is there coffee made?” You ask hopefully. Auston rolls his eyes at you, but nods over at his absurdly fancy machine, the one that had taken you about three months to figure out how to use. “Sweet, you’re amazing. I’m stealing that and then going to steal some sweats, okay?” You don’t even wait for him to respond, knowing it’ll be fine. Precedent is on your side here. Instead, you reach for a mug and address Freddie instead. “Fred, you joining?”

“Nah.” Freddie says, surprising you a bit. You’ve never known him to turn down a lazy Sunday. “You two have fun.” He says, giving you a knowing glance, which means he definitely caught you looking at Auston earlier, and it’s only the fact that Auston is standing right there that stops you from flipping Fred off on his way out the door.

It figures Freddie’s freaky goalie powers would be working now. Catches onto your more-than-best-friends-feelings for Auston, sure, but too oblivious to notice the hot neighbor in his building he’s crushing on is practically in love with him. Good one, Fred.

It’s barely a minute after Freddie clears out that you slip past Auston to go change, bringing your coffee mug along with you and reaching for your favorite pair of sweatpants the minute you enter his room. They’re old and perfectly worn, from his first year in the league, too small for Auston now, but just large enough for you to feel cozy in. One of his comfier sweatshirts completes your outfit for the day. Auston might be able to survive the day in a t-shirt, always radiating heat even as he complains about the Toronto cold, but fuck that, you were ready to be comfortable and nap through an afternoon of American football.

Auston is already settled on the couch and if you weren’t so hungover, you’d throw yourself on him, just to be obnoxious, but as it is, you settle slowly onto the cushions beside him, and then lower your head to rest in his lap, frowning to yourself when you feel him tense.

But it happens so quick; one minute his quads are tight underneath you and the next he’s relaxed again, you find yourself wondering if you imagined the entire thing. Maybe he wasn’t even annoyed with you this morning either; maybe you were just projecting your annoyance at the entire world onto him.

His hand moves to your hair, just like it always would, and you decide your hangover must have you paranoid. “How’s your fantasy team going to do today?” You mumble, already ready to fall back asleep.

Auston hums. “Good, I think. I play Willy this week and he’s a fucking disaster.” You giggle into his lap; his hand stills for a second, but then goes right back to playing with your hair. “Hey, uh, you-” Auston starts, but whatever he says next goes unheard by you, as you give into the sleep that’s been ready to overtake you since you settled onto his lap only moments ago.

-----

It’s hours later when you come to again and you only know this because whatever football game Auston has on is well into the second half.

It takes you a few minutes to wake up again, slowly coming out of your sleepy state, before you realize that Auston’s talking to someone- quietly, but talking pretty freely- and it’s actually this that’s what has woken you up.

“Yeah it’s-” Auston cuts off frustratedly. He sounds kind of like he wants to be pacing but your head is still in his lap and his hand has moved from your hair to rest on your shoulder, brushing gentle strokes over the curve of it. “I just haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”

Ohhh, juicy. You don’t want to listen in on Auston’s conversation; you know he’ll bring it up to you when he’s ready, but well, it’s hard not to. You can’t get up without alerting him that you’re awake already. You shut your eyes again tightly, focus on your breathing, and try to fall back asleep, but he’s talking again. “You don’t just get the fuck over that, Fred.” He hisses and ohhh, that sounds angry. You wonder what could have possibly happened to make him sound like that; the two of them never fight. “I would have gotten over her already if I could.”

And that’s the end of that for you. You’re already feeling sick enough today before hearing Auston and Fred talk about one of Auston’s girls. You squeeze your eyes closed tightly and re-double your efforts on trying to fall back asleep, concentrating on blocking out the sound of his voice.

It works a lot better when you focus on how his hand feels on your shoulder, but it still feels like taking the L.

-----

The second time you wake that afternoon is much smoother. Your headache is basically gone, but the tradeoff is Auston’s thumb digging into your upper trap, which you ease off. “Sorry.” He winces, soothing that spot immediately and you don’t have to look up at the TV to know the Raiders have just done something terrible for his well being.

“I’m hungry.” You whine at him and he laughs.

“Two minutes.” He responds, checking the time, which of course, turns into more like five, because the difference between “football time” and “real time” is fucking riduclous, but when the half does end, you sit up, the two of you swiping between food delivery apps to decide on dinner for the evening.

When you look up from your phone, Auston’s looking at you with a soft smile, that one you can’t let yourself look at for too long. “I’m gonna shower real quick, if you don’t mind?”

You’re already standing before he answers, but he nods, smile fading from his face a little. “Yeah, go for it.”

“Thanks.” You call, already moving towards the master bath, ready to steal a second pair of sweats for the day.

The shower is the distraction that you need, the step away from that smile that’s too close to everything that you want. The large walk-in a scalding reminder of every other girl who may have been in this position, of the girl who Auston wants to keep around in this position, the one girl who’s managed to do the thing hundreds of girls in Toronto thought was impossible. Auston’s soap smells bitter today, as you lather yourself in it, wondering how you became one of those girls.

You must have taken longer than you thought in the shower because the food’s arrived when you come back out. Auston’s unpacking the takeout bags onto the coffee table, with utensils ready. “Ohh, smells good.” You tug the long sleeves of his shirt over your hands, settling into the couch next to him again and watching him spread your takeout favorites out in front of the two of you. “Thank you.

Auston hums in response, passing you over your favorite dish ordered, the one that you love and he hates, and you only kind of watch him make a plate for himself, a mish-mash of options from the rest of the meals that you’d ordered, more focused on the plate of food in front of you, which is maybe why it’s a total surprise when he says, “We’re really just going to ignore you drunk-dialling me to tell me you love me?”

You choke. “What?”

Auston pales. “Uhh.” He freezes; his fork’s halfway to his mouth, but you can’t even chirp him for how lame he looks right now and it’s not even just because you apparently did something a hundred times more stupid.

No, it’s because your mind is racing at the fact that you did do something a hundred times more stupid last night and you can’t even put together a coherent thought about that, let alone anything else. No fucking wonder he’s been strange all day.

“Uh.” Auston repeats. “You know what? Don’t worry about it.”

“Absolutely not!” You protest, words finally coming back to you. “What the fuck? God, I’m so sorry!”

And somehow, that makes this worse? Auston’s shoulder’s tense, he looks extremely interested in his food suddenly. “I mean, it’s cool.” He shrugs, acting again too chill for the situation.

It’s a long moment before you respond, trying to gather your thoughts before you say something you don’t mean. “Is it though? Because you’ve been weird all day and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but, like, I can’t take it back now. So the best I can do is leave and like, let me know if you want to talk about it ever and promise not to make things super weird everytime I see you if you don’t want to talk about it.” You don’t realize you’ve stood up at some point in this chat, but Auston still hasn’t responded, and well, maybe it’s for the best that you’ve stood.

You turn to leave, only for him to tug you back gently toward him, but he either pulls harder than he thinks or you’re just not expecting the tug, and you land in his lap instead of the couch. It’s hardly a graceful fall, with Auston having to loop his free hand behind your back to catch you, your nose bumping against his shoulder on the way down, and your legs folding under you unnaturally until you squirm around to fix them.

Auston’s barely breathing when you finally look up at him, a little annoyed that he’s still acting weird after what you said. “Could you-” He trails off. “Just sit still for a second please?” You give him a look, but settle down, stopping your movements, and he takes a deep breath, relaxing, finally. “I’m sorry if I’ve been weird all day, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you telling me you loved me.”

You huff at him, annoyed and ready to climb off his lap to storm out, but he tightens his grip on you, like he knows what you’re thinking. “You don’t have to rub it in.”

“I swear, I’m not!” His thumb slides up to brush a spot of skin between the waistband of the sweatpants and the oversized shirt. “I haven’t been about to stop thinking about that, and then you came in here, looking like you always do, in my clothes all day, and I’ve been trying so fucking hard not to ruin shit between us for months now,” Your eyes widen and your jaw drops as everything starts coming together. “Until last night, when you called me and left me that message and I thought maybe we were on the same page…”

“Except I didn’t remember doing it.” It pains you to even say it; you hate that he’s been feeling uncertain throughout the entire day. Uncertain and unsure and just...hanging. “Auston-” You reach your hand out to brush against his cheek.

“You didn’t even mention it.” He says. “Not in your texts, not once you got here. I thought...I thought you just wanted to carry on with things as normal, that you regretted saying it, or wanted to take it back completely?” He shakes his head, like he’s clearing his thoughts, but you don’t let him move away, putting your hand right back on his cheek.

“I mean, I wish I remembered saying it.” You tell him softly. “But I don’t think I’ll ever regret loving you.”

“Good.” Auston says firmly, and you barely have time to grin in response to that before he’s tugging you closer in his lap and kissing you soundly.

#auston matthews imagine #auston matthews fanfic #hockey imagines #hockey fanfic #hockey fanfiction #nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #my hockey fics

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embrassemoi · 3 years

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(1/8) You're really out there publising new chapters in such a short amount of time and each chapter is better than the last one! I'm seriously in awe of your talent! It's so difficult to pick a favorite chapter but this one might be one of my favorites. First of all, I loved what you did with the chapter title, whiskers literally taking padfoot's place in the order they were named on the map. It was sirius' worst fear and it happened. Also Remus and mc's chemistry is so great. I'm a big fan

I've had so much inspiration and free time this past week! and I'm going to start getting really busy this upcoming fall so I want to try and upload as much as possible!

(2/8) of how naturally their friendship and relationship grows and how different their dynamic is compared to mc and sirius. The way she was braiding his hair in common room and the way map practically flirts with her. Their little moment in the halloween party was so great as well, mc (who is dressed up as mcgonagall) drunkly playing with remus' (who is dressed up as FILCH) is probably one of my favorite moments in the sbtmas. Speaking of the costumes, I wish I was a good artist so I could draw

yeah! it's always a struggle to write two different dynamics when it comes to a love triangle because you don't want it to be:

a) the same

b) have it be unfair (although rn it's kinda unfair but hey, sirius will have a chance)

c) please both remus and Sirius stans (its been hard bc sirius stans are so mad with me rn LMFAO its kinda hilarious. I'm sorryyyyy! I SAID SLOWBURN DIDNT I? I WASNT LYING)

and oh my gosh - this chapter was literally so fucking fun to write and I think that really showed in my writing this time. the map - omg - since it's technically remus' magic for his little messages, the map is unable to insult her and I think it's just so cute :)

and I think dressing up as the professors would be so fucking cool! actually, fun fact - this idea was originally supposed to be for fifth year. Sirius was supposed to be McGonagall and MC was still supposed to be a cat but I obviously flipped shit around. for seventh year - I've had their costumes all picked since I started writing and I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT TO WRITE IT MY GOD

(3/8) a fanart of them. Lily as a 20s flapper, marlene as carrie, dorcas as dorothy (it's official, dorcas is the cutest person in this entire series) and sybill as the crazy cat lady (hands down best costume)! And of course marauders as teachers. Remus as filch was son unexpected yet brilliant! I almost died when marlene started flirting with mc for a grade and james called her hot (and also mcgonagall took a photo with her, minnie and marauders era students is always so fun to read about. Can

THE FACT that you would even think of making drawing fan art is literally the most ego-filling thing ever. woah. Thank you for even just mentioning that lmfao.

also, I love Dorcas. I love her. I adore her. the version of her that I created in my head - I'm obsessed. the same goes for Lily. omg I can't forget to mention Marlene! omg I'm a mess. I love them all.

(4/8) you imagine her keeping all of those memories in a box and looking at them after most of her students from that time period die in the war.) Peter had some really good costume ideas after all. But honestly, thank you for... giving peter a personality. In most fics he's just there, only eating in the background (similar to movie!ron). But in sbtmas he's so great and has a great sense of humor (he got his hands on a pen and chose to write "evans' bitch on james' face, an icon). I feel like

okay, that hurt my feelings. I can just picture McGonagall getting teary eyed as she stares at a picture of the Marauders after the second wizarding war, wishing she could have saved her students.

(5/8) this is going to make his betrayal so much better when it eventually happens. I mean, I was genuinely disturbed when james started to talk about how sneaky he was (famous last words). I loved all of the pranks they did in this chapter as well. The exorcist music and ballpoint pens were so creative (and they gave us that adorable scene with dorcas and nifflers) and also... funny. I feel like in a way, it showed how much marauders learned from "The Prank" and matured because of it. Last year

Peter was a marauder through and through. he was just as sneaky as the others, brimming with personality and just as smart. maybe not in academics, but the fucker had strengths in other areas. It was such a pet peeve of mine when they didn't include him in the fics I used to read. idk, sbtmas is everything I guess I wanted in a fic that I didn't get 💀 (I sound a bit egotistical here. If it comes off that way, I don’t mean it to)

(6/8) their halloween prank with spiders was a bit cruel. But this time, it's somethig that would make everyone laugh and maybe a bit annoyed, but still less harmless. Everything was funny and great and honestly, while I was reading this I was laughing the entire time... until I got to the "five years" part! Now that was cruel! You really did used costumes and pranks as a distraction and hit us with the angst! One second I was laughing and the next moment I was having an existential

oh definitely and I'm happy that you caught on to the change in severity from their pranks!

(7/8) how we have no idea about what future will bring and you can never know how much time you will have with your loved ones before it's all taken away from you. But I guess that's the appeal of the marauders era, we all know about the tragic ending they will have but still want to learn about their hogwarts years. And of course the song you chose perfectly captured that. It's halloween 1976, exactly five years before lily and james' death. And they have no idea about how they only have five

(8/8) years together. James and lily was laughing along with peter! There was something so beautiful yet disturbing about the innocence they have and you captured it beautifully. I can imagine sirius, sitting by himself somewhere, thinking about how he lost his friends and not having any idea about the tragic things that'll happen to him (or how he'll try to break into hogwarts on halloween 1993 to kill one of his friends). Okay now I made myself even sadder, I'll just shut up. -🌸

aw, sirius :(. I obviously didn't add him in this chapter but while writing, I imagine him to be in Padfoot form, silently watching the fireworks. just thinking. :((((( I just made myself sad again :( I think I even wrote a small blurb of that part but I can’t remember if I deleted it. If I didn’t, I’ll totally upload it to the outtakes eventually

#🌸 anon #sbtmas ask #📨 inbox

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shytiff · 3 years

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September 2021

1 - MTBS 0 pt. tried out kopsus from jannor coffee with gofood pickup promo (10k). it tasted nutty and yummy even though it seems to use regular milk. but its kinda hot. the ac was not satisfactory. finished up the word for Prof. bought jasuke on the way back. filled out IDI form since i still have energy.

2 - mtbs again but this time its 3 patients at the same time. vcalled with kris. bought some snacks in hypermart. exercised a bit and played badminton with renata. watched 3 eps of nanno.

3 - my body aches and it will be wonderful to sleep again but its already 6:40. usila today. the ac in kamar jaga was no longer cold. finally finished moms box of brownies from like 2 weeks ago. read dear benjamin. got to enjoy some silence because i napped before maghrib and the others slept early.

4 - vaccine in GCD with teh fitri, teh fany and teh rahmi. about 440ish patients. gossiped about cibeber lmao. watched the hitman’s bodyguard. samuel and ryan was hilarious.

5 - morning walk with renata. saw cilegon’s cfd. cleaned up the room accompanied by howl’s soundtrack. made spaghetti with instant bolognese sauce, egg and cheese. o seven with tri nagita. just saw prof’s email from 2nd sept, shit. tried to get some headspace to do ppt.

6 - bp with nessa (originally kia/ugd). except therere some patients in ugd lol. did excision for clavus (1st timer!) and hecting. fried tempe (1st timer!) using someone’s leftover oil lmaooo

7 - BP with zihan. had spaghetti combined with cheese egg and mom’s chicken for lunch. instant bloating :). drank hot matcha to curb the bloat. planked. ate muesli lol. did not do anything significant today :( started the origin of species.

8 - vaccine today except it starts at 10:30 since we’re waiting for the mayor. so i hung out on the screening table since the doctor room was hot. vaccine with dr lutfi. watched homcha and nanno. fell asleep

9 - vaccine with bang esa and other staffs in smp 8 cikerai. its apparently the highest point in cikerai. finished at 12-ish pm and we ate buffet lunch lol. made matcha latte again. this time with almost 1 spoon of sugar so it tastes good. i missss matcha. read 1 webinar ppt so i guess thats a little but its something. rip attention span

10 - usila. tried A BIT of duren from bu Tur for dr isip but its enough to make me retch lmao. was given labbaik chicken by bu oo. Some exercise. rly tried to make some progress but my brain just cant seem to muster

11 - kia/ugd. Some ugd patients. Spaghetti for lunch yay. Originally intended to go to cafe but i ended up falling asleep :) tried to get some progress for PPT. Involved a lot of staring into nothing. Slept at like 00:30ish am

12 - morning walk slash jog. The jogging track was finally open. Went to jannor. Ordered kopsus and meatball potato dish with gofood takeaway promo (spent a total of 30k) . The staff kindly asked whether i want to eat there or to actually takeaway lol. The meatball truly tasted like meat. The mashed potato was a bit dry. The weather was grey and cloudy, exactly my favorite. First time cooking kangkung

13 - vaccine today. 20-ish patients. Alone in kamar jaga since nessa went to mass vaccine. Zoom call with Prof. Dyed my hair blue in flow salon (1200K). got free manicure, It took 5 hrs 😅. another firsts in life. both the nail tech and hair tech said my hair was dry lmao. arrived in mess at 9ish pm. ordered nasgor in front of mess

14 - mi rebus for bfast. not too much patients for vaccine so i finished at like 10 am. napped at kamar jaga. got free rice box from dr arief etc yay :)))) got mochacinno at jannor. tried to do sumn useful but cannot. still no ppt progress aaa. watched homcha ep 6 together

15 - vaccine in al hanif. tried chicken-cakwe porridge near the school. the school was an all girls school, with ppl wearing long veils. tried to fit the placement test from cakap (12-1 pm) during the vaccination lol. had to excuse myself to the ssaem during photo sesh. napped so i could see the 17 pm cakap class but i ended up napping until close to 18 :) saw the 19 am class with lukas ssaem

16 - spaghetti for bfast. usila today. this dumbass forgot to wear komin and wore her rubber slip ons. turns out theres some money from al hanif vaccine. which is great bcs there’s literally no paper money in my wallet lmaoo. rested a bit. dr eva called and she gave me a ppt and chapter book job. sheeet theres no progress yet of Prof’s ppt. a wake up call. whatsapped with frends that planned to go to cilegon this weekend, but it ended up being the next weekend. thank god, because dr eva’s ppt deadline is 24th sept. set myself up on a spot in the vanity table so i can work in a chair (i frfr find it difficult to work on my own bed)

17 - some patients in UGD. Slept while waiting for 2 pm. Held off my sleepiness for zoom with dr Eva. 5pm cakap class. Matcha latte. 7pm zoom w dr eva. Fell asleep after that

18 - bp. Turns out teh imey also dyed her hair. cakap class abt bts' spring day lol. Worked on dr eva's ppt

19 - jogged a bit. had kopsus (20K) and fish fillet rice (27K). finished dr eva’s ppt with the given material so far. napped in mess. dr eva also revised the ppt on the same day so there’s 2 slides left (patient clinical profile and conclusion). took some time for me to get the headspace to work on ppt so i started prof’s ppt at like 7-ish. only got 1 slide. stayed awake until 11ish but i basically stopped doing useful stuff at 9 TT TT

20 - vaccine today, finished at 10 am. lounged around. went to bni to check on m-banking, still system error. transferred 3mil from my BNI atm to muamalat. tried nasi goreng roa and cakalang with added chicken shreds (20K). so goood. conversed with nessa zihan. did not open my laptop at all :) stopped by at rodalink bcs nessa wanted to buy a bike. drank matcha latte in an effort to curb sleepiness. worked on Prof’s ppt. fried the frozen kebab (35K) i bought from teh Rahmi.

21 - vaccine P3K w teh yeni teh rahmi mas oim. 3 patients. Ate some gorengan and talked lol. Did the abstract and ppt for dr eva. Worked on Prof's ppt.

22 - usila w mas oim. Had banana, bolu and protein for bfast. Ordered nasgor roa cakalang from bakuku for lunch. Felt suuuuper sleepy afterwards. Wanted to sleep again in mess but couldnt. Washed my shitton of clothes with washing machine. Heavyyy. Worked more on PPT. Too much denial this week

23 - picked some groceries @ bu rum. Kia/ugd today. Its been a while since i last checked DJJ. Successful first attempt but fail in the 2nd bcs the baby is still floating. Cooked meat and veggies with nessren. Jannor and kopsus again. Worked on ppt til my head hurts. Its a little bit more to gooo.

24 - bp. Made myself bento with nugget and left over veggies. Finished the smol details of the ppt and finally sent it. Watched shangchi @ transmart w chillegone. The film was fun! We cooked soup at mess and tri made perkedel. Watched homcha ep7. Slept

25 - Vaccine but there was no vaccine, so I went to UKK @ villa ternak cikerai with pkm peeps. its like opening a clinic but somewhere in hills area. got treated to bakso and tempe mendoan afterwards. lazed around in my bed, with no info from jkt friends who wanted to visit but suddenly they arrived lmao. went to amaris to catch up with them. thankfully it was not hourly parking. ate at saung bonang near the billiard place with heri joining us. total bill for five was 126 lmao its rly pocket friendly. heri borrowed my motorbike bcs his friend’s place doesnt have car park. thank god we brought the bike

26 - me and racheel went downstairs to get the hotel bfast. packed fruits, tempe and bread upstairs lol. put our stuffs in royal krakatau. took maxim to pulau kecil. turns out pak asep changed his number. it was raining there, so we sat a bit and got mie rebus. had lunch at amirang (my treat). there was only us inside. the food was okay but the meat was rly overpriced for its amount. went back to the hotel. went to indomaret and mess with racheel to get my stuff. my stupid impatient ass dropped atikah’s brand new iphone while pulling the hotel towel from the bathroom rack. im sorryyyyy. racheel and i swam until maghrib. atikah told us abt her boy “friend”. slept early at like 9-10ish with the usual width but longer leg space

27 - and suddenly its time to go to puskesmas. asked nessa to bring my shoes. said goodbye to friends. BP. there were a lot of patients. kanayam for lunch. i bought shades lol bcs i commute against the sun in the morning. cakap club. watched homcha. fell asleep

28 - vaccine. finished at like 10:30. tried to go to bni to install mbanking but the queue was like 20 ppl. did the outline for the red book. liqo with kak kartika. zoom meeting with dr eva. fell asleep again

29 - vaccine in sma 3 cilegon (cikerai) with bang esa and others. finished at like 2-ish pm. got 750K hehehe. mentoring with dr. Arnadi about KKD and HHS. bought rotbak with nessa. showered and cleaned and fell asleeep

30 - cooked tempe with leftover kanayam chili sauce. bp again. saw interesting cases today, such as fixed drug eruption. bought phd from gofood promo. went to jannor and got the usual kopsus with added espresso (since the min amount for gofood pick up promo was 25k). tried to do prof’s script but cannot, so i searched the literatures needed for dr eva’s project

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ongnable · 6 years

Text

christmas confession w/ jihoon

for: Summer, @porkjeojang - i know you asked for ‘cute’, but i’ve made this a little angsty at the beginning but i swear it redeems itself but IM SO SORRYYYYY I LOOOVVVEEE YOOOOUUU PLZ FORGIVE ME prompt: “cute Christmas lights confession” a/n: timed for christmas eve, reader is a bit of a crybaby; but all is fine - after all, it’s christmas ❤️

strolling down the path, you raise your head to stare in wonder - the strings of fluorescent stars only to be seen this time of the year are shining brightly

the sun has set and the evening was revealing itself in the form of christmas lights being turned on, carols chiming, and couples emerging from the nearby shopping mall to admire the festive atmosphere of the park

you clutch the warm coffee in your hand a little tighter – admiring the way the snowflakes melt over the lid with a moment’s touch – as you run your fingers along the side of your phone, playing with the buttons in your pocket

there wasn’t much to do whilst waiting.

you glance up at the clock tower,

eleven fifteen.

you’d agreed to meet at half past

a faint buzz of your phone causes you to check for new messages

jihoon: [ did you get coffee? are you waiting outside or inside?]

y/n: [ yeah. got coffee - i’m outside ]

jihoon: [ it’s cold outside ]

y/n: [ i wanted to see the lights ]

jihoon: [ i’m almost done anyways, message you when i finish ]

y/n: [ ok ok ]

strolling through your instagram feed so you don’t look too awkward standing by yourself out in the cold, you can overhear a couple giggling as they walk past, hands swinging in glee

you huddle your thick coat closer to your body, slipping gloveless hands into the space between your waist and coat, crossing them across your body to gather heat

quickly, you take up the empty seat on a bench as you switch from one social media app to another to waste time

gulping down some of the hot drink and holding your breath – releasing it in a big sigh to admire the white mist it creates, most of your coffee is already gone when you settle it on the spare space next to you

the clock tower rings once

eleven thirty.

you look up to check the time on the clock tower even though it’s displayed on your phone

where was jihoon?

you already know that ‘probably busy’ was the answer. it was always hard for jihoon to make time for you amidst his schedule

standing so that the person you’re looking for can get a clearer view of you, you pick up the almost finished drink and peek at the screen again

how many times have you checked now?

[ no new messages ]

you could wait a little longer before you asked for his wherabouts, he didn’t need you bothering him when he was busy

opening twitter, your eyes widen at the top few posts

you’d recognize that figure anywhere, but who was that next to him?

you saw jihoon with a girl, caught by the paparazzi - and a few fans as they began leaving the building

there were photos

videos

retweet after retweet

you followed numerous jihoon-biased accounts (something he endlessly made fun of you for, “you know that you get to see the real thing right y/n?”), hence your feed was now saturated with posts about this girl – a statuesque model cum actress with long flowing hair –

jihoon had told you that he was having a photoshoot with a female model beforehand

but you hadn’t expected there to be so much touching involved

for the poses to be so close

and for them to leave the building together after the shoot had finished

opening the lid of your coffee, you grimace at the cold drink left at the bottom, the oils from the milk having started to gather.

and you throw it away

was that why he wasn’t here?

because he’d found someone else to spend christmas eve with?

eleven forty five.

you try to rid those thoughts building in your head

surely, it’s the cold and the loneliness of being surrounded by couples getting to you

jihoon owed you nothing

but he wasn’t that sort of person

jihoon was someone that stood by what he said and kept his promises

he wouldn’t keep you hanging out in the cold like this

especially not on christmas eve

the two of you had planned sleeplessly over tonight for far too long

he’s only met her tonight though?

and the nagging in your mind doesn’t stop

you’re about to send him another message, but your fingers don’t want to move

glancing up, you can tell that the night has fully showed its face

only the moon remains, the stars having been covered by the thin layer of clouds

your sight becomes blurred as the christmas lights you had thought to be so pretty previously turned into multicolored blobs

mocking.

annoying.

your chest hurt and it’s wasn’t just muscles tightening under the biting cold

the clock struck midnight.

christmas eve was over.

he wasnt coming, you thought bitterly, jihoon wasn’t coming

wintered air stings at your eyes and numb fingers move to try wipe the tears away, anger building when you couldn’t even tell if you’d wiped them away properly

i can’t even cry without it being annoying!

you strain and try to blink the tears away, but eventually give up and rub your palms roughly along your face

it’s so unfair.

looking around –

everyone was with the person they cared about. everyone was out celebrating. happy faces bathed in warm light.

and you were alone.

staring at the lighted screen one last time, the taunting photo ridiculing you - you stuff the phone back into your coat pocket, turning to walk back inside

there was no point staying by the lights now

no point being the lone girl underneath the clock tower, pretending to have someone who cares for her

not when christmas eve was over

not when jihoon wasn’t going to arrive–

“YAH! Y/N!”

jihoon?

you turn around to face the other side of the path, trying to locate the source of his voice.

“BABO-YAH!”

cold wind pelts at your face whilst the snow gets caught between strands of loose hair

jihoon was running towards you

his silhouette gradually becoming clearer as he neared the lights you were standing at

you could tell he came straight from the shoot with his immaculate makeup and set hair

but what gave it away was the short sleeves in this freezing weather - there was no way he would have been outside wearing only his white shirt

“why are you out here? didn’t you see my message? I was looking all over for you!”

his arms clutched at your sides when he reached your side - checking you over, trying to work out why you were crying

white puffs of air surrounded him as jihoon panted.

he had spotted you wiping your face – the girl that normally swatted his arm away when he tried to pinch your cheeks, because he’d ‘ruin your makeup’ – and knew that something was wrong instinctively

“jihoon... you came...”

a relieved sob escapes as the tears stop flowing, your body still shaking

“of course, where else would I go? didn’t you see my text? do you have any idea how long it took me to find you?”

none of his words seemed to register with you

and jihoon found himself being enveloped in a hug,

“you’re here,” wrapping you arms around him, the sound of his heartbeat strong and reassuring. “jihoon- you’re here.”

tears were rolling down your face again, cheeks so cold that the droplets actually felt warm against your skin; chest heaving as you found solace with his body against yours

“yeah, I’m here” he tutted, slightly embarrassed and unsure of how to respond to your sudden affection

despite how whiny and emotional you could be, you weren’t particularly big on skinship normally

so he settled for patting your head. something his mom had always done for him when he cried as a child

“why are you such a crybaby? you literally just stopped crying. i’m here, remember?”

“i’m just...” a pause. searching for the right words. “relieved?”

i’m happy. i’m happy. i’m happy.

i’m happy you’re here. i’m happy you care. i’m happy that you’re with me.

“you have a funny way of showing it.” you didn’t even realize you were pouting until he poked your cheek, “i don’t even know why you were worried I wouldn’t show up in the first place.”

“but christmas eve is over.” you muffled into his chest, glancing at the clock tower, hands still locked around jihoon, unwilling to let go even though you could feel him shuffling as he reached for his phone. “you were late. i thought you forgot about me. i thought–”

i thought you were with another person. that you replaced me with someone else more important to you.

“babo-yah. did you not get my message? look.”

jihoon untangled your arms from him, holding his phone in front of you, you make out the text he sent you

jihoon: [ leaving now. will probs to be a bit late, wait for me inside the cafe ]

wait.

a text?

“what did you send me a text for?!”

he looks at you incredulously, as if offended by your logic

“that’s what phones are for.”

“you know i put my phone on airplane mode and only leave wifi on!”

how else were you supposed to pay your phone bill when the two of you messaged so much?

“that’s not how a phone works, y/n”

“you could’ve at least kakao-ed me!”

“i didn’t have wifi.”

“we were chatting on kakao the whole day though!”

“i only realized that i ran out of data when i left the studio.”

locking eyes in a stalemate, the two of you burst into laughter, attracting stares from passers-by

“we’re just two idiots, aren’t you?”

jihoon rolled his eyes, as he ran his fingers under your eye, wiping away remnants of smudged mascara and eyeliner “speak for yourself.”

“you know that’s what i like so much about you, jihoonie. you really know how to flatter a girl.”

jihoon smiled, faint and soft

the lights peaking through as smudged colours around him through the snow as he reaches for your hand

“merry christmas to you too, y/n”

lacing your fingers through his own, you finally register how cold jihoon feels against you

“let’s go inside, you must be freezing! i’m sorry i didn’t realize sooner.”

tugging at his hand, you pull at him, trying to get him to jog towards a source of indoor heating with you, but jihoon kept trailing behind at a slower pace, your weight nothing against him

why was he not moving??

if you felt cold in your long padded coat, how could jihoon possibly feel okay?

“take slow steps.” jihoon fussed, well aware of how clumsy you were.

and sure enough, the sole on your shoes slides a bit on your next step before you regain graceless balance

“walk slowly, or else you’re going to trip” he glanced at the icy floors, before loosening your grip.

taking careful steps to catch up to you

and you feel a blast of cold air hit you when jihoon peels the thick coat off you, draping it over his shoulders

before wrapping both him and the coat around you

oh.

suddenly, you don’t really feel like it’s winter either. the snow is almost therapeutic against your burning skin

“y/n. i’d never leave you alone.”

“i know i was just overthinking. it’s fine. you’re here now.”

huddled over your body as the two of you stay unmoving as the snow falls around you, you feel him wrap his arms around your waist, jihoon nuzzling into the crook of your neck

“it’s not fine. i like you so much but you don’t even know. you thought that i wouldn’t come meet you.”

what don’t i know?

“jihoon–”

arms wrap a little tighter around you, heat spreading through the numerous layers of clothes you have on

warming your heart

“you're the reason i’m not cold in winter, that i can smile through bad weather. so stay by my side and continue making my winters a little warmer.”

#you make it feel like summer in winteerrrr #wannaone #wanna one #park jihoon #wannaone imagine #wannaone scenario #wannaone angst #wanna one imagine #wanna one scenario #wanna one angst #wanna one fluff #wannaone fluff #park jihoon imagines #park jihoon scenarios #park jihoon angst #park jihoon fluff #jas writes #queue #off to bed for me now

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imabrendonuriegaldealwithit-blog · 7 years

Note

Could you please do one where Brendon really screws up in your relationship. (I.e flirting/cheating with other girls, ignoring you completely, or maybe insulting you. No physical violence though.) And he tries to make it up to you in the bedroom. Thank you, and sorry if this is weird.

Hey! Oh, my lord I am so sorry I left this solo long but I have had no time between school and drama but I amnot busy anymore! And nothing is weird to me so don’t worry, hope this meetsyour expectations….

WARNING: SMUT AND RUDE LANGUAGE

Another tour… Another article… Brendon caught up in ascandal with someone new again! Anews-article entitled: ‘Brendon Urie locks lips with new “lover”?’ This timethe photo was blurred yet still perfectly captured Brendon’s lips on an unknownfigure…

Your heart ached withsadness and pain. The sixth person… WhyBrendon? This thought repetitively buzzed within your mind. Brendon continuouslybetrayed you whilst away from your sight. He was truly uncontrollable and youwere sure he lacked the understanding of the words ‘relationship’ and ‘commitment.’He was always caught sneaking into sleazy motels with beautiful models andkissing them in secret side streets. Yet, whenever you begged for anexplanation he would ignore you and act as though your existence was meaninglessin his eyes. Even though you were used to the uproar of drama, the continuous appearanceof risqué photographs or simply videos filmed of the flirtatious language leavinghis plump pink lips by measly photographers, it never ceased to break yourheart and tear away at your soul. Every new media report you saw occur youbegged for it not to be covering Brendon yet you were always met with the same disappointment.

You place your phone down of the bed and lift yourself off yourbed pitifully leaving a pool of tears and crumpled tissues behind before pacingaround your room, thinking about the current situation you are faced with. Thistime you had enough. You love Brendon with every fibre of your being, but youknew you did not deserve to be treated like you were worthless. You had givenBrendon your everything! You stood alongside him through rumours, through thehatred, through the stress of their new album and the constant travelling andthis was what you had gotten in return. “He doesn’t even seem the slightest bitgrateful for my companionship! I will show him what he is losing!” You huffangrily before storming back to your phone and yanking it to your face and openyour messages to only be met by the hundreds of texts you sent yet Brendon hadignored. With that image an idea grew inyour mind… You checked the time. 10:30 PM…Perfect! He will have finished his concert and he will most definitely see this.

Your smirk only grew before you began to type the plannedmessage. “Brendon, you have dragged me out to New York for your tour and yetagain you having fucking cheated on me. Well, this is your last chance to proveto me that you aren’t the arsehole you act like. I’m staying at Luna Sea Motel,Room 10A. If we don’t sort our problems, then we are breaking up and I am notcoming home with you. I will be leave to go stay with my parents. So, if youchange your mind you know where to find me.” Sent. Now it’s time to wait… You take this opportunity to freshenup and change into more suitable clothes. Half an hour later, you hear the screechingof tyres on the tarmac outside and swiftly position yourself on the bed as youanxiously await Brendon’s entrance.

The door slams open as you see Brendon’s deep brown eyessearch the old-fashioned room. His eyes finally reach yours and your met with asneer full of malice and a current of electric courses through your veins. Even now he still looks stunning to you, hishair slicked, his golden jacket and tight black suit pants attracting youdeeply. “What the actual fuck Y/N!” He yelled at you questioningly. “What?”you reply innocently, acting natural and calm trying to contain your true frustration.He sighed at your act “Don’t try and act innocent with me Y/N! You dragged meout here for no reason and threaten to break up with me for no reason!” No reason? Now you were pissed! “ActualBrendon you will find I have a perfectly good reason! I am sick of you cheatingon me and treating me like I am a pile of shit! I deserve better than thatBrendon.” Tears slowly trickled down your cheeks in annoyance.

The quarrelling continued between you both before Brendon beganto charge towards you, you tried to back away to avoid what was incoming butyou were only met by your back hitting against the crème wall. Brendon tookthis opportunity to slam his fist at the side of your head. He forcefully beganto place smothered kisses along your neck, leaving purple ownerships marks ashe continued. The seduction slowly began to become too much for you as you wereattempting to hold back a whimper. “Y/N, since you seem to think I’m such an ‘arsehole’,why don’t I prove how sorry I am.” He smirked, continuing his previous acts ofseduction and cupping your pussy and rubbing a finger on your slit over your underwear. “Do you say this to all the girls you have fucked?” You complaintrying to hide the fact there is a pool growing in-between your legs. Brendonjust chuckled and replied: “Push those other girls aside and just give in…” youroll your eyes at his obnoxious song quoting. He grabs your faces and plants akiss on your lips. It quickly grows into a make-out session as your tonguesfight for dominance, his obviously winning control. He grabs your thighs firmlycausing you to wrap them around his waist. He escapes the kiss to explain: “Y/N.I’m going show you a night you will never forget!” before winking and droppingyou onto the dishevelled white sheets and climbs on top of your submissiveform.

He wastes no time in removing your shirt and pants, leavingyou exposed in your red lace underwear. “You are so beautiful Y/N, I am sosorry. No girl compares to you…” You blush as you watch Brendon kiss your cheekand continuing down your neck to your boobs and then your stomach and thighs,whilst keeping his eyes firmly on yours. He starts to spread your thighs and placesmall pecks along them until he reaches your lace undergarments. “Y/N, tonightis all about you. I am going to make you feel pleasure you have never feltbefore.” You smile as you sense the passion and promise in his tone. Hecarefully removes your underwear and bra and cups your boobs and moulds themroughly in his palms before placing his mouth on your pussy. “Your so wet, Iwonder who made you like this?” He muffles in an amused manner. You ignore himand begin to moan as you feel his tongue enter your vagina and lick at yourfolds. The intricate movements leaving you in a whirlpool of excitement and ecstasy.Moans and whimpers fall naturally from your lips as you cum under just the thoughtof his lips and tongue. This was only adding to the growing erection in Brendon’spants.

“Babe, I need you.” Brendon moans as he feels your thighstremble and clench at the sides of his head. You simply nod allowing him accessto the whole of your body. He simply licks his lips and remove his shirtexposing his toned stomach and chiselled v-line. He seductively removes hispants and boxers leaving you in utter astonishment at his erect penis. Hewastes no time in plunging into you. Leaving a shocked and pleasurable gaspfrom your lips. He thrusts deep and hard into your aching pussy and only proceedsto gain speed as the pace increases. “Fuck Y/N I’m so close!” He grunts as yourappending orgasm grows nearer. Feeling his thick length push inside you arousedyou and the roughness of his grip and hips pushing into your own was fuckingamazing!

Before you reached you much needed orgasm he flipped youover so you were now on top and he had a spectacular view of your exposed titsand torso above him. “If you want to come, then work for it babe, beg for me.” Brendonsmirked teasing you. You whined at the thought but realised how truly needy youwere for his cock. “Please Brendon I need you to fuck me, I need your cockburied deep inside my aching pussy.” And with that Brendon proceeded to slamfurther inside of you, the new angle giving him more leverage to reach deeper.You were a mess and you roll your hips in rhythm with his trying to reach yourhigh. “Y-Y/N! I’m cumming!” He yelledbefore the both of you came together and you were released from his graspcausing you to fall alongside his tired form, panting trying to recover.

Moments later, Brendon turned toface you pulling the covers over the both of you and held you closer. “Y/N, I’mtruly sorry. I was a douche and I promise to make it up to you and never doanything like that again. I swear.” You smile and place a kiss on his lips. “Goodbecause I aint tryna save your reputation.” You wink causing you both tochuckle and fall asleep laughing in each-others arms.

AHHHH I DID SO BAD I’M SORRYYYYY! ITS SOOO LONG TOO!

#brendon urie #BRENDON #brendon patd #panic! at the brendon #smut #fan fiction #panic!at the disco fanfiction #p!atd fanfiction #fanfics #smut fanfiction #fanfic #p!atd #p!atd fanfic #p!atd smut #p!atd imagine #p!atd lyrics #p!atd edit #p!

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