#next time I have the opportunity I’ll watch reservoir dogs sir

[mystery-moose]

Okay no for real this whole idea of Goncharov is very funny but get your fuckin’ timeline right, okay.

Martin Scorsese had made exactly two movies by 1973, he didn’t have the cachet to make a big budget or even mid budget crime movie about the Naples mafia. Certainly not the greatest mafia movie ever made! Further, he hadn’t yet developed his filmmaking style, let alone his fascination with the criminal underworld, and The Godfather had just come out the year before, so there wasn’t even time to get used to the romantic portrayal of gangsters that Scorsese’s films would act as revisionist responses to! The conversation had barely even started yet!

And then there’s the actors: Robert De Niro was a working actor then, not a huge star — he’d been in a few movies by then, including three from noted trash sommelier Brian De Palma and one from even more noted trash auteur Roger Corman — and he actually worked with Scorsese and Keitel that same year in Mean Streets! He got some acclaim for that performance but it wasn’t like, Godfather level, y’know? Not in terms of fame or notice at least. And Pacino? Pacino’s first major role was The Godfather the previous year! That was his third film ever! He did Serpico in ‘73! He hadn’t even done Dog Day Afternoon yet! And he didn’t work with Scorsese until The Irishman, which came out in 2019!

Really, y’all, what you’re imagining, the movie you’re all spinning out of thin air here, probably came out in like, 1983, not ‘73. Probably in place of Scarface or something (which for my money would be an improvement). You’ve got De Niro post-Deer Hunter and Taxi Driver, he’s worked with Scorsese before, you’ve had two excellent Godfather films to build a mythology of the romantic gangster around for Scorsese to play with. You’ve got Pacino after shit like Serpico and Cruising, he’s in his prime. You’re still pre-Goodfellas for Scorsese, so he hasn’t gone sicko mode yet, but he’s done great movies that got noticed and he’d be able to pick up a budget and a production company to go to Naples. He’s worked with big studios, he’s got some clout. Now is the time for Goncharov!

But nooo, all this happened before you were born so it’s all vague and nebulous “before-times.” What’s the difference between 1973 and 1983? Who cares? Well I do! And now you know! History matters okay!! Learn ya history!!!

#goncharov #the new hit tumblr meme that actually hits me where I live #sorry mr. keitel that I did not dig into your career more #always left out of the conversation in favor of the big names #next time I have the opportunity I’ll watch reservoir dogs sir

[dfcfanfics]

Stuff I did and do and gonna have done

It’s been so long since I posted a catch-all post to Tumblr that even I’m having trouble scrolling down that far.  So, since it’s probably been a couple of years now since that one, I’ll do some Shameless Self Promotion and throw together a catalog.

Shall we, behind the cut?

Longfics:

Someone To Watch Over Me: Adrien is having massive problems at home... and Akumas are headed his way.  Marinette notices that he’s not himself, and sets out to help -- in both her identities.  A Ladrienette triangle develops, with both of our young heroes hanging on for the ride... and that’s just how it begins.  Complete, 24 chapters, 225k words.  Original inspiration by @buggachat.

The Marinette Project: The school year ends, and Adrien notices that Marinette seems really down about that.  As Chat Noir, he sets out to bring her spirits back up over the summer... and quickly finds himself in way over his head.  Mostly Marichat.  Complete, 14 chapters, 90k words.

Tyger, Tyger, Burning Bright: A new villain’s attack targets Marinette by chance, and knocks Tikki out of commission indefinitely.  Chat Noir gets an opportunity to choose a temporary partner -- and three guesses whose balcony he lands on.  But his choice of Miraculous isn’t quite as predictable... and a devilish Tiger Kwami has way too much fun helping Marinette rediscover herself.  Marichat-ish.  Complete, 9 chapters, 68k words.  Comic-ization in progress via @brittsarts!

Let’s Take It From The Top: A reboot AU in which Gabriel brings home the Cat and Moth from Tibet, not the Peacock and Moth... and an overheard conversation sends his son on a path towards disaster, romance, new identities for familiar faces, reworked canon scenes, and perhaps the destruction of all of France.  But mostly the romance and disaster parts.  Complete, 21 chapters, 125k words.

Mid-length Multi-parters:

Two Hearts That Wax And Wane: Adrien isn’t sure what he said in the car with Marinette, on their way home from the wax museum... but he knows that he screwed up.  Badly.  His good friend stumbled out of the car almost before it stopped moving.  Now he’s retracing his words and steps and trying to figure out what set Marinette off, which will lead him through both of his identities -- and both of hers.  Puppeteer 2 response fic.  Complete, 4 chapters (one for each Square side), 14k words.

Full Stamen Ahead: It’s Carnation Day at Francoise Dupont, where students can send each other floral tokens of their affection and appreciation.  Marinette wants to send one to Adrien, but gets cold feet about sending a red one... which does not go unnoticed.  A prank by Chloe, a misstep by Alya and suspicious friends lead to a cavalcade of misunderstandings, romantic drama and surprises. Marvel at my absolute mangling of the French educational system.  Complete, 5 chapters, 16k words.

Once in a Lifetime: A concussive villain blasts Ladybug’s earrings right off her ears -- and Marinette into a hospital bed.  Her injuries are minor; her loss of her Miraculous is not.  While she tries to keep her identity safe, someone she knows finds herself with what she realizes is the most precious jewelry in Paris.  Who will be Ladybug during this crisis... and how will the balance be restored?  Complete, 4 chapters, 25k words.

Reservations For Two... More May Be Coming: Adrien finally figures out that he’s the one boy Ladybug gets flustered around.  He gets up the nerve to ask her out... and she accepts.  So how are they going to make this couple thing work, anyway... and will Paris be the same after their first fancy-restaurant date?  Complete, 6 chapters, 35k words.

Throw Me Around Like One Of Your French Girls: Marinette reflects on her unpleasant encounter with Felix, and realizes... what might’ve happened if he’d tried to force a kiss on her, rather than Ladybug?  She does know a handsome classmate studying martial arts, though, so perhaps she should see if he’ll teach her some things...  WIP, 5 chapters so far, 25k words.

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time...: After Season 3′s finales, Adrien makes a go of it with Kagami... but makes a well-meaning-but-big mistake.  A weary and despondent Marinette finds a heartbroken Kagami on her doorstep, looking for advice... and one spur-of-the-moment decision on her part sends everything into chaos.  NOT an Adrien Salt fic, I promise you!  WIP, 13 chapters so far, 53k words.  

Serious One-Shots:

Summer Break: My first fanfic.  Marinette fractures her leg in a bicycle accident, and has to spend several weeks with a light cast.  Chat Noir begins visiting her to cheer her up... and lots of unexpected bonding surprises them both.  6k words.

Forget-Me-Not: “Alternative episode.”  A mind-sapping villain makes Ladybug and Chat Noir forget that their super-selves exist... leaving Marinette and Adrien wondering why they’re out together in Halloween costumes.in September.  What happens if they don’t get their true memories back -- and what happens if they do?  6k words.

Locked and Loaded: “Alternative episode.”  Marinette goes for a walk with Adrien over one of the “love lock” bridges in Paris -- which she hopes will put him in a romantic mood.  But a heartbroken woman they encounter becomes corrupted by Hawkmoth, the locks become her weapons, and Our Heroes must face down an army of enslaved romantics.  6k words.

A Little Promise I’d Made Myself: It’s New Year’s Eve at Rose’s house, and a party is in progress.  Adrien is having a good time, but something seems missing... until he notices a pretty classmate sitting by herself on a couch.  Are midnight fireworks inevitable?  3k words.

After The Storm Breaks: After the Season 3 finales, Kagami and Adrien are dating, and Marinette and Luka are an item... but there’s something awkward in the air.  Adrien and Kagami notice that Marinette has grown uncomfortable around them, and Adrien reaches out... and a lot of important things are said for the first time.  5k words.

Just One More Minute...: A tricky Akuma sends Ladybug and Chat Noir on a wild battle all over Paris, spanning several hours.  They’ve won, and Paris is safe once more... but the two of them have collapsed onto a rooftop, exhausted beyond belief and barely able to move.  Both Miraculous are beeping... so what are they to do?  2.5k words.  Inspired by @ladybeug artwork.

Playing a Familiar Chord:  After Puppeteer 2′s events, Luka is sitting quietly at home when his phone rings.  Someone special to him just underwent an emotional ordeal... and she needs a friendly ear and some male advice.  A gentle conversation ensues, with Luka wondering which way this might lead...  3.7k words.

Options Include Like, Comment, Share, Bookmark and Agonize:  Adrien posts to Instagram, marveling over his good friends’ relationship... and wistfully wishing for one of his own.  Marinette sees his post and wonders what she can do... 1.4k words.

MiracuCrack:

Trouble...Made?: Troublemaker response.  Marinette decides that the only thing to do about her crush being revealed is to confess... but there’s something that she should really have known first.  

It Wasn’t Plan “A”: A terrible new Akuma has sealed off all of the Kwamis’ powers.  With a groan and a sense of dread in his soul, Master Fu leads Marinette and Adrien to a box containing mystic totems best left untouched... the Ridiculous.

The Logical Conclusion: After careful study, Ladybug thinks she’s worked out who Hawkmoth must be, and presents her evidence to Chat Noir.  But for some odd reason, she doesn’t seem very happy about the conclusion she’s reached...

Getting Things Backwards: Adrien Agreste sits quietly on the train, rereading what Marinette had handed him for the tenth time.  It... looked like a prescription for constipation medication.  But inspiration strikes him and he considers it as a metaphor... might it be a love letter after all?  Backwarder response.

First Times Are Always Awkward: Ladybug’s first time out against Stoneheart didn’t go quite as she’d planned it, but no one got hurt and everything went pretty well.  Didn’t it?  But when Alya pulls her aside the next morning, a little oversight of Tikki’s proves troublesome to our heroes’ dignity.

Communication Breakdown: With an Akuma rampaging through Paris, Ladybug came up with a desperate plan... requiring both Adrien and Chat Noir for it to work.  Thinking fast, Adrien passes the ring off to one person he could trust with it.  Now, Plagg explains how it works as quickly as he can -- but there’s just one problem...

“Busted,” Said the Kwami: Chat Noir found himself very impressed by Multimouse’s debut as a heroine of Paris.  So much so that, later that night, he finds himself having the strangest dream...  Kwami Buster response.

Nooroo Uses a Swear Word: He absolutely, positively does.  But he has a good reason for it, so... let’s hear him out, shall we?

Leave Some Stones Unturned: Wayzz leads Marinette through Master Fu’s abandoned studio, both to make sure everything is as he left it and to walk her through some of the many intriguing items he’d left behind.  But some locks are there for a reason, and some secrets are best left hidden...

Reservoir Kwamis: A completely silly Miraculous/Reservoir Dogs mashup.  Will only make sense if you know the movie.

What do you think, sirs?  (And madams?  And whoever else is out there?)

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #fanfic #shameless self promotion