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lisatelramor · 4 years

Text

Little Problems

Heiji/Conan because I don’t know. For a prompt from the mostly dead DCMK LJ kinkmeme: I would love see something with Conan and the differences between his mental and physical ages. Possible underage

***

When Conan first got de-aged, he thought that it really was just a reversal of time, a regression to the child body he had years ago, but the longer he was Conan, the less sense it made, and once he met Ai, he knew it was false.

“It’s not a true regression,” she confirmed when he asked her about it. “It seems to mostly target muscle, bone, and organs in reverting to an earlier state, but some of it, especially the nervous system doesn’t work the same way. Think about it, if it truly reverted us to six years of age, how would you still have your memories of being a teen?”

“I kind of assumed it just…happened. Like, why wouldn’t I since it’s still me?” But now that she pointed it out, that was a good point.

Ai rapped her knuckles on Conan’s forehead. “Your brain didn’t change even if everything else did. You’ve had to have noticed some things.”

Conan rubbed at his forehead, scowling. “Of course I did or I wouldn’t have asked. I didn’t keep my muscle tone when I got smaller, but I kept my reflexes. My brain sometimes still forgets I’m small, though I’m mostly used to that by this point.”

“You kept your adult teeth,” Ai said, “and your brain and everything that entails. Memory, which I suppose must include some muscle memory, the pre-existing mental patterns you had, and all the chemical processes the brain controls.”

“It’s a good thing it kept the patterns or I’d be screwed.” Conan couldn’t imagine trying to re-learn all of his detective knowledge. It had taken him a lifetime to get there, and it would have taken even longer starting as Conan without his parents teaching him new things when they went on trips. “And you wouldn’t be able to work on the apotoxin at all.”

“We’d be normal children,” Ai said, “albeit with some interesting memories. If any of it gives you trouble though, let me know and I’m sure I can find a work around.”

“I’ve been fine so far?” Conan said.

Ai gave him an unimpressed look. “There are things a six year old body isn’t quite equipped for.”

Conan gave her a blank look.

“You aren’t dense, Kudo. When I said your brain retained its chemical processes that included libido.”

“Oh.” He blushed. He blushed darker as he remembered a few… distinct moments since he became Conan that he hadn’t even questioned at the time. Because why would he since he was himself in his head?

Ai rolled her eyes. “Right. So if that becomes unmanageable, I can figure something out.”

“…Why would it be unmanageable?”

“You’re a teenage boy?”

They stared at each other and Conan connected certain stereotypes about teenage boys with himself and yelped. “I’m not that bad!” In fact, that particular…issue…had barely come up (why, word choice, why). “That wasn’t a big issue before I shrunk in the first place!” That was more personal information than he wanted Ai to know but why not? She knew almost everything else about his bodily functions by this point after all the tests she put him through. He hadn’t been this embarrassed since Ran tried to take a bath with him. And oh, that had been a reaction he shouldn’t have had too… Although… now that he thought of it, it had been mostly mental…?

Conan froze, turning that over in his head. He’d definitely felt both embarrassed and aroused at the time. But he had barely reacted physically. “Um.”

“Yes?” Ai asked, watching the progress of emotions on his face.

“Nothing.”

She gave him an unimpressed glower. “I’m technically your doctor these days. You never know what might be important to figuring out the apotoxin.”

Conan squirmed, looking away. “I really would rather not talk about that kind of thing with you.”

“Ah, so there are sexual side effects.” A pen clicked as she pulled out a notebook. “Talk.”

“Haibara,” Conan whined, pleading.

She lifted an eyebrow. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

“I don’t want to know yours!”

“I don’t care about yours, but it really might be important.”

Conan groaned into his hands. “I don’t know if I can physically get aroused,” he said finally.

“…That’s it?”

“I mean, I can mentally feel it, but I can’t remember much physical reaction since shrinking.”

Ai clicked the pen a few times with a hum. “Theoretically, your body is a child’s so there could be a mental-physical disconnect. But. Your brain has the hormones to process stimulation, and signal physiological responses, so…”

“So?”

“So you might have a bit more trouble, but it should still be possible to experience the physical side.” She gave him a contemplative look. “You never noticed. Not once?”

“I don’t… feel or do that much. Even as a teenager.”

“Huh.” She made a couple of marks on the paper. “Noted. If anything changes about that, tell me.” Conan would rather go through another apotoxin transformation. “In the meantime, maybe experiment to see if you really can or can’t get aroused. I haven’t been having any problems.”

Conan clapped hands over his ears. “I didn’t need to know that.”

Ai rolled her eyes. “You’re not twelve and I’m not even being detailed.”

“I don’t want to think about you in anything even remotely adjacent to sexual.”

“Wow. Thanks.” She snorted though so she wasn’t actually insulted.

Conan buried his head in his hands, face on fire. Kill him now, he was never living this down. “…You realize I live with Ran, right. And sleep next to her father?”

“You shower on your own, don’t you? If not, you have your house right over there. Just say you’re visiting the professor.”

Yes because telling Ran he was visiting Agasa and then going off to try and get off in a six year old’s body wasn’t a messed up scenario at all.

Ugh.

“You know what, I think I’m going home.”

Ai gave him a look that said he was being ridiculous, and not in an endearing way. “I mean it, Kudo. Hormonal changes or the body failing to process certain chemicals could be important to working toward the cure. If your body does anything abnormal, tell me.”

“Right. Goodbye.” Conan snatched up his school bag, ignoring Ai’s sigh behind him. His face actually hurt from how hard he was blushing. He wasn’t going to think too hard on this. In fact he was going to do his best to forget it.

o*O*o

He couldn’t forget it. Conan stood under the hot shower spray trying to not think about what Ai had said and somehow coming right back around to it. He really didn’t want to think about it. But here he was. Thinking about trying to get off while Ran and her father were somewhere on the other side of the door and—while they probably wouldn’t walk in—could interrupt at any time.

Aaaaah, what was he even thinking?!

His child body had never been more ill-fitting. Looking down at himself, he felt like he didn’t belong in his own skin and even less aroused than the whole situation was already making him feel, but damn it if Ai didn’t have a point. He really wanted her to be able to make that antidote. He also really hoped that his body would be functional when she did, and he didn’t know how much had or hadn’t changed thanks to the poison beyond his obvious little problem.

Conan closed his eyes. Maybe… maybe he could fantasize. He’d done it before, when he was his real age. Not often, but he’d done it. Pictured faceless people when some inner tension got coiled up inside of him and hormones demanded attention. He’d seen plenty of bodies. Granted more than a fair share of dead ones, but he’d seen attractive bodies and pretty faces. Inviting lips and soft chests and smooth, inviting thighs.

Once, he’d thought of Ran and hadn’t been able to get through a full conversation with her for most of a week.

Now he knew exactly what she looked like without her clothing on, but it felt cheap to think of her when she didn’t know that he’d seen her. Like a betrayal of trust as if this whole situation wasn’t enough of one already. So he didn’t think of Ran. He thought of a hand touching his chest. Of kissing someone and a warm body pressed close. He thought of that hand moving down, down along his torso to his hip. His thigh. His groin.

Conan almost lost the fantasy when he touched himself. He was barely hard and didn’t fit in his hand the way he used to. It didn’t feel quite right but oh, now that he was acknowledging that it was there, he could feel that tension in him. It had built up and up and up, but there was always so much going on, so many things to distract from it. Cases. Fear. Trying to keep secrets. He licked his lips, imagined someone kissing, pressing, possessing.

Of letting go. Giving over to someone else for a moment so that it could stop. His brain could stop, the fear and waiting for the other shoe to drop could stop and he could just be for a moment. He was hard now, though it had taken longer than he remembered it ever taking and it still didn’t feel quite right.

A hand stroking—no, the image of lips curled around him, a tongue flicking out and, ah, it felt good, but not enough. He pulled on images seared in his mind from guilty internet searches and accidental glimpses. The coil grew tighter, his hand moved faster, that tension in his mind and groin growing toward a peak—

It didn’t peak though. It hit a plateau instead and Conan lost his fantasy entirely with a groan of frustration. He looked down at himself, small child body and all and wanted to cry. Or maybe yell at Haibara because he’d been fine but she’d brought this to mind and now he couldn’t even reach some kind of satisfaction.

Conan let go and took a deep breath. The water was getting cold, a sign he’d been in here far longer than he should be. He couldn’t remember what his body had been like when he was actually this age, but he knew he’d never tried something like this then. Hadn’t even thought about it until the end of middle school and hearing other boys talk got him curious.

This probably wasn’t normal though.

Probably.

Theoretically he should be able to reach orgasm, but right now, whatever he needed to tip over the edge just wasn’t there.

Conan grabbed the soap and finished washing. There was frustration of more than one kind simmering in the back of his mind, but nothing was going to be done about it now. Sure enough, after a few minutes, he got soft again too. He wrapped up in a big fluffy towel feeling betrayed all over again by this child body. Worse, he’d have to tell Ai if he wasn’t able to get it to work right. Damn it.

“Conan?” came a knock on the door. Ran. “You’ve been in there a long time, are you okay?”

“Fine, Ran-neechan!” he called back, forcing his voice light and even. “I’ll be right out!”

He was just going to have to try again, wasn’t he?

Conan didn’t want to (but kind of did. Damn it.)

o*O*o

Subsequent attempts did not go better. If anything, Conan was finally beginning to understand what some of his classmates on the football team meant when they complained about being horny. For the first time in his life, he couldn’t simply take care of the problem, and, like that fact was causing a dam, it just grew instead of settling back to the recesses of his mind like it usually did. It was awful. How did people live regularly feeling like this? He kind of wanted to scrub his mind for how often it kept wandering back to something dirty. Or have some kind of censor because he spent most of his time around elementary students and even if they couldn’t read his mind, it just wasn’t the setting for any of those sorts of thoughts.

He couldn’t help fidgeting through class after the first week of experimentation, and he could really live without the knowing looks Ai gave him too often for his peace of mind.

This was all her fault. He hadn’t been having any issues before this. Dammit, Ai.

He scowled down at his phone, at the two week mark, and broke. Because he had to eventually. So, he wrote, there may be a problem.

With what? Ai texted back an agonizing three minutes later.

You know what.

Clarification, Kudo. There’s always some kind of problem with you.

He kind of hated that she was right about that too. Either he was sick or there was a case or there was a Black Org sighting or… or who even knew what with his luck. He was amazed Ran wasn’t getting suspicious about all the long baths and showers he’d taken lately.

There might be a problem with this body, he sent back. Then, because he knew she’d press the point, sexually.

There was another uncomfortably long gap that he knew she was making him suffer purposely. Okay, what’s the problem?

Conan shut his eyes a moment, so very glad that this wasn’t face to face or over phone. I can’t orgasm.

At all?

It just plateaus. It’s also difficult to get a physical reaction in the first place. It kind of stings to add that, but she did need to know. This would be so much easier if she was an actual doctor, not a friend/ally who happened to have a sliver of medical knowledge.

Perhaps there’s a problem with your receptors? Have you had issues feeling other kinds of pleasure?

Hmm, did he have trouble with pleasure? Well, he was frequently stressed out of his mind because he didn’t know if people would come back to kill him properly, he was living a double life, he was stuck in grade school again, and he’d seen more death since becoming Conan than he’d seen in all the time he’d been a practicing detective before that. Really, Ai, what kind of a question was that? I still feel happy sometimes and enjoy food if it’s good I guess, what kind of pleasure do you even mean?

Sometimes, hmm?

He rolled his eyes. Shut up, you know exactly what crap I’m dealing with.

Which is why I asked, because you might be depressed, and that’s an entirely different issue than the apotoxin.

I’m not depressed. Probably. He still felt motivated to do the things he enjoyed. More or less. He liked cases. Though was that really enjoyment sometimes or compulsion because he knew he could help? Same difference really. I might have mild PTSD though, he admitted.

Don’t we all, Ai said with her typical dark humor.

Well, considering the number of bodies they’d seen and people who’d tried to kill them, any of the people in his friend groups really. Hmm. Not much of a joke when you got down to it. There was so much fuel for nightmares his psyche couldn’t even settle on anything half the time, just horrible anxious feelings and hazy, bloody images.

Have you tried internal stimulation?

Conan flushed. He wasn’t going to talk about his masturbation habits with Ai. He just wasn’t.

When he didn’t answer, she sent, I’ll take that as a no, you’re too vanilla to consider that an option. Try it. It might help.

I hate you, he sent back.

You don’t.

He turned off his phone and buried his face in a pillow. It didn’t do much to properly muffle his frustrated yell though, and he had Ran poking her head in a few moments later looking concerned.

“Just… trying a stress relief method Mitsuhiko suggested,” Conan said weakly.

“Do you need to talk about it?” Ran asked in that worried, motherly way she always had when she addressed Conan’s needs.

It never failed to make him feel like a horrible person for both hiding who he was and for hating how her kindness made him feel stifled. “I’m good,” Conan said. “We just have to give a speech in class next week and I’m a bit nervous.”

“Well you can practice telling it to me if that helps,” Ran said giving him a kind smile. “Practice will probably help more than yelling into pillows.”

Conan laughed. “Ah, yeah. Thanks Ran-neechan.”

“Anytime, Conan-kun.”

Conan thunked his head back into the pillow once she walked out. Maybe he could suffocate himself with it.

o*O*o

He wasn’t avoiding trying Ai’s suggestion. He just was…busy. Also where the heck was he going to get lubricant for that sort of thing? He was seven. (Ok, yes there was oil and lotion available. Still. Ai. Why?)

Conan put it all out of his mind for the moment—as much as the sudden flare of hormones allowed him to at any rate—and focused on the cases that never stopped coming. He was honestly just glad that they weren’t all murders for once. Kogoro had been hired on a string of theft related cases that had somehow led to chasing a trail out of Tokyo and into Osaka, so Conan wasn’t the least bit surprised when he ran into Hattori.

“Ya could’ve called,” Hattori complained, having more or less kidnapped Conan in the name of bonding after the case finally wrapped up. “I haven’t got to hang out with you in ages.”

“It hasn’t even been a full month,” Conan said. He sipped at his illicit coffee, glad that Ran wasn’t here to complain that it might stunt his growth. Caffeine, sweet caffeine.

“Ages,” Hattori said like Conan hadn’t spoken at all. “And ya look kinda stressed. Too many cases?”

Conan snorted. “I wish.” The more he kept busy the less he thought about any of his problems. “A new water park opened a week ago.”

“Yeah?” Hattori said, raising an eyebrow as he tried to connect how that was related to anything.

“Sonoko thought it would be fun to take Ran and Ran invited all the Shounen Tantei.”

“And?” Hattori asked, propping his chin on a hand. “Sounds like a fun time.”

Conan pressed his hands under his glasses to massage at his eyes. He was so drained. “Ran in a swimsuit,” Conan said. And Ai giving him those stupid ‘I know exactly what you’re thinking’ looks the whole time. And Ayumi trying to drag him around and the hormonal part of his brain that suddenly was noticing attractive features pointing out all the exposed skin around him. It had been awful.

Hattori snickered. “Really. Yer stressed cuz you saw Nee-chan in a swimsuit. How many times have ya seen her in one by this point?”

“It’s not funny. I wasn’t—”

“Wasn’t…?”

He glared between his fingers. “I wasn’t hormonal then and there was always a case to distract me. No one died or had something stolen or got lost or anything this time.”

Hattori laughed at him. “Ya know it’s kind of sad that you haveta put it like that.”

“You know what I mean.” Hattori ran into cases often enough even if it wasn’t as often as Conan.

“Yeah, yeah. So what, right now yer ‘hormonal’?”

“Yes,” Conan grit out between his teeth. “Don’t make fun of me for it.”

“Wasn’t gonna,” Hattori said, but he still had the edge of a smile on his face. “Didn’t know ya could get hormonal.”

“Honestly, I didn’t even think about it until Haibara brought it up. Apparently our brains are still our real age? So that includes all the chemical responses of a more mature brain…”

“So hormones. Damn. That sucks,” Hattori said.

“You have no idea.”

“Kinda surprised ya didn’t notice until she brought it up though.”

Conan rolled his eyes. “Hattori. You know me. Attraction is not the first thing on my mind.”

“Not even when you’re with Nee-chan?”

“I live with her. How the hell would I function if that was always on my mind? Besides, she treats me like I’m actually seven. It would be really weird if it was on my mind when she’s acting motherly.”

Hattori snorted.

Conan glared. “No. Shut up.”

“Kinky,” Hattori said between snickers.

“Like you think about that kind of thing all that often. I mean it’s normal to think about other things more, right?”

Hattori shrugged. “I dunno. I mean I don’t think about it a ton, but some hot person walks by and bam, brain goes a certain direction. Not like I’m gonna do anything about it, but it happens.”

“Is everyone just going around horny all the time?” Conan asked and Hattori outright started laughing at him again. “This really isn’t funny.”

“It totally is.” Hattori wiped away a fake tear and Conan contemplated dumping the rest of his coffee on him. But that would be a waste of perfectly good illicit coffee. “I mean, not everyone is, but I betcha a lot of people think about it all the time even when they’re not around a hot person.”

“Ugh.”

“That’s life.”

“Ugh,” Conan said with more feeling. He buried his face in his coffee for a few moments while Hattori dug himself out of the situation’s apparent hilarity.

“So,” Hattori said, clearly trying to be serious again. “Yer havin’ a swimsuit kinda problem.”

“I’m having a ‘I can’t get off’ kind of problem,” he grumbled under his breath.

“Wait, really?”

“Really.”

“Haibara thinks it might be a side effect of the whole…” He waved a hand at himself. “But I still have hormones. So there’s no outlet.”

“Ya tried…” Hattori made a discreet jerking motion.

“No, because I’d never think of that. Of course I tried.” His face heated up. It was almost as bad as talking to Ai about this, but at least Hattori was a guy.

“Not ta be crude but, uh, can ya… y’know?” Hattori waved a hand vaguely in a way that could have meant anything from ‘take flight’ to the more implied ‘have sex’.

“In theory?” He was not going to share that Ai apparently had no trouble satisfying her own hormonal urges. Ugh.

“Did ya try, uh…” Another crude hand gesture, Hattori glancing around and hoping no one caught that.

“…If you’re asking if I tried having sex with someone no, what the hell. If you mean ‘internal stimulation’,” Conan said, mimicking how Ai had made the suggestion, “also not really. I er, attempted a few times but.” Either he was just really bad at this or he wasn’t doing it right. Or maybe he just had a bad angle. Or maybe it really just wasn’t his thing.

“Really?” Hattori finally blushed a bit. “It can be kinda nice.”

Conan was learning too much about his friends. Too much. “I’ll take your word for that. My only impression is ‘awkward and uncomfortable’.”

“Then ya aren’t doing it right.”

“Sure.”

“Seriously,” Hattori said. “It takes a bit of practice but it’s good.”

“Unless you’re offering a demonstration, I’ll really just take your word for it,” Conan said with a snort. Hattori went bright red and choked on air. Conan blinked. “That. Wasn’t an offer was it?”

“I—No, that—You!” Hattori coughed.

Conan raised an eyebrow. Huh. “You wouldn’t happen to be interested in giving a demonstration would you?”

“Uh!” Hattori looked like he was dying. Conan hadn’t realized he could blush that bright with his darker skin. He also hadn’t realized Hattori could possibly be interested that way because, well, Conan was seven physically.

“Really.”

“Oh my god, I swear I’m not a perv,” Hattori said into his hands.

“This conversation is really making it feel like the opposite.”

“It’s not how ya look, it’s just. You.”

“Me.”

“You.” Hattori scowled at him, angry and embarrassed and probably a little turned on considering the topic.

And Conan realized he himself wasn’t entirely uninterested. Which was a novelty. It wasn’t like he didn’t notice men. He had certainly noticed the fitter men at the water park the other day. It was just that he was used to pushing that to the side along with most other things like that. They were pretty bodies and it didn’t really mean much if they were male or female at the end of the day. They didn’t mean much to him when they were strangers. But this was Hattori and he was, objectively speaking, an attractive man. Conan had seen him shirtless more than once. He had very nice shoulders.

“Huh.”

“Shut it, Kudo, don’t make this weird.”

“I think it’s already pretty weird.” Conan sat back and finished the last of his coffee. Huh. Maybe he should be expanding his fantasies a little. Ran wasn’t the only person he knew with nice legs and arms. “Asking seriously, would you be interested?” Because maybe that was the missing piece. Maybe he just couldn’t get off to his own hand, and if anyone could look at him and see Shinichi in Conan, it would be Hattori who was constantly forgetting to call him by his fake name anyway. “It wouldn’t be too uncomfortable?”

“I mean…” Hattori eyed him. “Yer not really…”

“I know.” Being physically a child was a turn off. He got that.

“Like, ya have a great brain and I know yer hot as hell as a teen. It’s a bit… ya know.”

“I know.” Conan sighed. “You wouldn’t have to touch or anything, I’d seriously just take a demonstration. And be grateful if you could get me some actual lube.”

“Oh my god, Kudo what the hell have ya been trying to use?”

“Lotion.”

“Well there’s a chunk of yer problem.” Hattori sat up. His blush faded a bit as he gave it serious thought. Conan found that expression a lot nicer than his embarrassed one. Conan could appreciate Hattori for his brain too. “So how likely is it that Nee-chan’d let ya stay an extra day, just you and me?”

“I mean if I pitch it right, I’m sure she’d agree.” Ran was susceptible to Conan’s puppy eyes.

“Then I could probably show ya a few things. If yer actually serious.” The blush creeped back and Conan had to smile.

“I’d appreciate it,” he said. “I mean I would like to get off considering how long it’s been,” he said wryly.

“Not even once since…?”

“Nope.”

“Well damn, no wonder ya get so bummed.”

“Because the life or death pressure and dead bodies have nothing to do with it,” Conan said sarcastically.

Hattori snorted. “Ok, Kudo, we’ll make this happen.”

“Yay,” Conan said in a flat voice that made Hattori snicker more. “I can’t believe I’m going to do this.”

“You and me both,” Hattori said. He stood up. “C’mon, let’s go convince Nee-chan.”

o*O*o

They got their shirts off before they hit the first stall, Hattori sending Conan’s bare torso an uncomfortable look.

It could have been the scars; Conan had a lot of them for someone who looked seven, one even matching Hattori’s but he knew it was an age thing, not a body image thing. “Is this going to be a problem?” Conan asked, stepping out of his shorts.

“No,” Hattori said too quickly. “No, it’s fine. I’m just gonna…” He dropped his own pants, leaving them puddled on the floor and stood there in his boxers fidgeting.

“Uh huh.” Conan left his underwear for now. Hattori was uncomfortable enough at the moment. “How are we doing this?”

“Uh.” Hattori scratched at his cheek. “I can show ya how I, y’know. Or ya could try how you’ve been doing it and I can try ta figure out where ya went wrong…”

Either way required one of them to put themselves on display. Conan flushed lightly. It had kind of been a given that this had to happen, but it didn’t make him any less flustered. He’d never done this before. Heck, he’d never really even had a first kiss. That, Conan realized, he wanted to remedy before they did anything. He’d thought that if he did anything like this he’d do it with Ran, but doing this with Hattori wasn’t bad. He trusted Hattori. He didn’t like him the way he did Ran, but he did like him or he wouldn’t be here at all.

Conan bit his lip. “Can I…”

“Yeah?” Hattori looked relieved that Conan was taking the lead.

Conan waved him closer, a little annoyed, not for the first time, that there was such a large height difference when he was like this. “I know we didn’t really talk about this being anything but a demonstration. But would you mind if I kissed you?”

Hattori blinked, face dusting red. “That’s… Yeah, sure, go ahead.”

Oh good. Conan reached up and Hattori bent almost double. Conan made a tiny sound of irritation wishing Hattori had a Western bed instead of a futon because it would have evened the distance a little bit. A second later, Hattori helpfully fell to his knees, still taller, but at least a reasonable amount instead of twice his size. He had a tiny smirk on his face and Conan was torn between gratitude and irritation. He pushed it aside in favor of the kiss.

He didn’t know what kissing was supposed to feel like, hundreds of descriptions couldn’t really prepare him for the actual feeling of it, but it wasn’t bad. His lips felt too sensitive and it was somehow startling when he felt Hattori’s lips move against his, the sense of space past them and the surprising realization that where there was less give meant Hattori’s teeth were there. It wasn’t really a romantic kiss at all, but he still pulled back with his heart beating faster and face feeling hot.

It was probably weird for Hattori too since Conan was so much smaller, but he just grinned and leaned in for another kiss. This one was wetter. It should have been gross, but it wasn’t. Conan felt pinned in place even though the only parts of them touching were their lips and one of Hattori’s hands on his face, Conan’s own hands having fallen away as he got lost in trying to categorize the sensation.

“So,” Hattori said when they pulled away again, voice just a bit rougher, “how are we doing this?”

Watch Hattori or Hattori watching him? “You can start,” Conan said after a moment, licking his lips nervously. It left a tingly feeling behind, still too sensitive from the kiss.

Hattori shot him a grin that looked equally nervous, but went reaching in a cupboard for a bottle. It was half full, and clearly lube. Conan blinked at it as Hattori set it next to his futon. “I’m taking my unders off. Just warning ya.”

And then Conan was blinking because he was staring at Hattori’s cock, already half-mast even though they’d only barely kissed. Maybe Hattori was into voyeurism? Hattori was average size, but his cock looked bigger given Conan’s current circumstances, and he had an impulse to reach out and touch just to confirm how it felt compared to his own. They hadn’t agreed to that though, so Conan let his eyes flick back up to Hattori’s face, hands flexing once as he buried the desire to touch.

“Not scaring ya off, is it?” Hattori joked. He shifted foot to foot before going back on his knees. “I told ya I’d show ya how to do it. And first things first, don’t start if yer not already turned on.”

Conan’s breath caught in his throat as Hattori reached down and stroked himself. There was a light blush on his cheeks but his eyes were locked on Conan’s. His cock swelled with each pass of his hand to fully erect.

“Second,” Hattori said, a bit breathless. He let go and reached for the bottle. “Lube. Lotion’s fine for jerking off but it ain’t cutting it for fingering.” A snap of the bottle opening and Conan twitched. Oh, he realized as he felt heat in his gut. Oh, he was into this too. It was the fastest he’d felt aroused since becoming a child again, even more so than that bath with Ran. Maybe because this actually was a sexual situation and he’d spent that whole time then reminding himself that it wasn’t. He pressed a palm against his crotch as Hattori dribbled lube over his fingers. Still not hard, Conan thought, but he would get there fast at this rate. It was like his body actually wanted to synch with his mind at the moment.

Hattori went to reach behind himself, paused and turned to the side so he was actually visible. The blush on his face went darker. “So. Ya gotta take it at your own pace. If it’s hurting it’s not going right. ‘S supposed ta be an indulgence, not a race.” He took a moment to circle his hole with a finger before just dipping the tip of a finger in, then repeated that, slowly getting deeper each pass. Okay that was the first thing Conan had been doing wrong then. Apparently you didn’t just make sure your finger was slick and go for it. Or at least not if you didn’t do that kind of thing regularly. He supposed some people would have no trouble with it, but he wasn’t one of them.

“When that feels good ya can add more,” Hattori said. He bit his lip, seeming to be enjoying the whole process. “Uh, what number’re we on?”

“Third?” Conan said, though Hattori had kind of stopped counting in the middle there.

“Right. Third. Is yer prostate.” Hattori shifted a bit, pressing at a different angle, deeper, and his breath stuttered. Conan could see his cock jump. “It’s. If ya get deeper and at the right angle, everything feels a lot better. Kinda intense. Like a shock in a good way or something.”

In spite of himself, Conan snorted. “Eloquent.”

“Shut it, I have two fingers up my ass. I’m not exactly talking clear-headed.” He gave a little groan of pleasure, knees bracing a little bit wider. “It’s good,” Hattori said. His shoulder and arm muscles bunched, straining to get the best angle and his eyes drifted half shut, something between pleasure and concentration on his face.

Conan was very aware of the fact that he was standing there, watching one of his best friends get off. Hattori, who’d never hesitated to touch him or treat him like an equal even though he was in this body. When Hattori gasped, hips shifting into open air, a thin whine came from Conan’s throat. He ground his hand against where he was finally hard.

“Y’know,” Hattori said roughly, “the whole point is fer you ta do it. Much as I like ya watching.” He tossed a wink at the end and Conan’s face went hot.

“Uh.”

With the hand not up his ass, Hattori tossed the bottle of lube Conan’s way. Conan fumbled it, managing to grab it just before it hit the floor.

He fumbled the cap open and pulled down his underwear. He froze when he noticed Hattori glance him up and down. There was a flash of conflict on his face before it smoothed over. Conan internally grimaced. Of course this body would be a problem. Still, Hattori didn’t look away as Conan reached back. He tried to replicate what Hattori had been doing, but it was still awkward and the angle didn’t make it any easier.

“Try on yer knees or stomach if standing’s a problem,” Hattori said.

Conan shot him a frown, but got on his knees. It was a little easier to balance at least, if no easier to reach. The dull pressure of a finger was no more pleasurable than the last time he tried this, but it didn’t hurt either, so the lube was good for something.

“Yer too tense,” Hattori said, voice low and intimate. Conan flushed at the sound. He’d never really thought about what books meant with a sex-voice, but if there was one, Hattori currently had it.

“I can’t help it,” Conan muttered.

“Look at me. Ya were a lot more comfortable watching. So watch and don’t focus too hard.”

Conan almost rolled his eyes. Watch, don’t watch, pay attention, don’t. Hattori was being contradictory. But it was easier to focus on how the slow movement of Hattori’s hand made something in his gut clench and the intent way Hattori was watching him. Hattori’s free hand reached up to stroke his erection, still watching Conan and still moving his other hand behind him. Conan bit his lip and tried to work in another finger in hopes it would feel better.

“Too fast,” Hattori said.

“Shut up, I’m trying,” Conan mumbled. He tried a slightly different angle. Still nothing and he was getting frustrated which made him tenser which made the whole thing less comfortable.

Hattori sighed and removed both hands and wiped them on his discarded underwear. “Here. Just lemme…” He paused, hands reaching for Conan, to assess if he was welcome or not.

Conan huffed and closed the distance. Hattori’s hands settled on his hips. “If you think you can.”

“I got ya, Kudo,” Hattori said softly and Conan shivered as the words were breathed against his ear. The hands lifted and there was the pop of the lube cap before they returned, one on his hip, one carefully sliding up his crack. Conan twitched, not sure if he wanted to move away from the feeling or not, and Hattori waited, moved again.

It was strange being touched by someone else, but good strange. Conan sucked in a breath as Hattori pressed a finger. But didn’t enter. He kept skirting the area and pressing just enough that Conan’s body felt like it wanted him to just press in because it was confusing his nerve ends on what was even going on. When the finger finally did press in it was smooth and steady forward pressure that left Conan gasping and leaning against Hattori’s chest.

Hattori chuckled sending vibration along Conan’s skin. “Better?” he asked, smug.

“Ah,” Conan managed between suddenly labored breaths. Hattori had bigger fingers by far, but that didn’t hurt. Just one finger wasn’t that much bigger than the two Conan had managed, but it felt far better. Maybe it was because Hattori was slower, or maybe because he knew what he was doing. Or maybe it was because it was Hattori doing it at all, Conan didn’t know—he just knew that it felt good. Hattori pulled back then forward again, deeper and a slightly different angle and Conan dug fingernails into Hattori’s sides as something intense shot through his body like touching a live wire. “Hmmm!”

“Yeah, that’s yer prostate. It’s nice. Kinda a lot of feeling but the good kind, yeah?”

Was it good? Was it bad? Conan was harder than ever and he still wasn’t sure if that had been pleasant or just overwhelming but whichever it was he wanted to feel it again to try to figure it out. Thankfully Hattori pressed along that spot again, leaving Conan open mouthed and panting as he clung, trying to piece together what the hell that feeling even was.

The internal coil went tighter, tighter, and surely this time it would peak? Surely? Or plateau like before? But the feeling kept rising until his whole body felt hypersensitive and he was shaking, barely upright thanks to Hattori in front of him, and Conan’s mind was a blank mess of desire and physical pleasure. Conan didn’t even notice one finger become two or the soft swear Hattori muttered as he shifted to better support Conan’s weight. He just hung on, eyes glaze and chest pulling for breaths.

“Shit, Kudo,” Hattori murmured, his free hand hesitating a moment before reaching down Conan’s front and Conan moaned, embarrassingly high pitched in this form, even before Hattori’s callused fingers brushed against his cock.

It was almost painful, but in that too-good-almost-pain edge way that he’d only ever felt once when he was curious about the concept of multiple orgasms and had attempted to keep going after release. That time he’d stopped, that edge wavering too much on the pain side to continue, but this time it wasn’t his hands, so it didn’t stop and slipped decidedly more toward good.

His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest, or maybe he’d pass out from how fast he was breathing because surely bodies weren’t supposed to get this worked up?

Hattori pressed inside him and ran a thumb along the head of Conan’s cock at just the right pressure to tip, finally, fully, over the edge. He barely slammed a hand over his mouth to hold in the sound he would have made, then his mind was wonderfully blank.

Conan came back to himself feeling like he’d tried to chase Kid a mile over rooftops without any aid from the Professor’s gadgets. Everything had a burning ache of muscles well-used and his mind felt like it was floating. “Ugh,” he managed.

Hattori snorted from somewhere to his right; Conan was too exhausted to look. “Is that a good sound or a bad one?”

“It’s a ‘I don’t think I can move’ one.” He ran a quick mental evaluation of how he felt and, okay, the buzzing edge of frustration was finally finally gone. Thank goodness. “Probably good. I feel like I tried to climb the Tokyo Tower barehanded.”

Hattori snorted again. Conan finally turned his head to find his friend leaning on one elbow beside him, still a bit turned on, like he’d been sitting there a while and hadn’t decided whether or not to finish or forget about it. “It looked pretty intense. Told ya it could feel good though.”

“Mmn.” Conan sat up slowly. Ow. Sore. …Down there sore too. Either Conan had unintentionally got way too into that (he kind of had) or Hattori had been a little too rough for his size (equally possible). He grimaced. It didn’t hurt, just. He was aware of the ache. “I actually came so that’s something.”

“Hell yeah it is,” Hattori said with a grin.

“Don’t be smug at me.”

“You’re really grumpy for a guy that just had the best orgasm of his life.”

“It was overwhelming,” Conan said. “But thanks. Really.”

“No problem.” Hattori kept grinning.

Conan eyed him. “Aren’t you going to finish?”

“I could,” Hattori said with a shrug. “But this was more about you than me.”

“Did me being in this body bother you that much?”

“I mean,” Hattori lifted an eyebrow glancing at Conan’s still naked body. “It’s not a turn on. Ya losing control? That was kinda hot. And the way you said my name.” Conan had said his name? He blushed. “You watching was pretty hot too. It kinda broke even on ‘wow, hot’ and ‘eh, kinda creepy’ factors.”

“Great,” Conan said sarcastically. “Just what you want to hear after a mind blowing orgasm.”

Hattori laughed.

“I could. You know…” Conan offered with a sideways glance.

“No offense, but I think getting a hand job from ya would probably fall on the creepy end of the spectrum. Hands’re too small.”

Conan huffed. He hated feeling like he wasn’t being fair and reciprocal.

“But if it’s not too weird, look me in the eyes until I come and that’d be hot.” Hattori blushed a bit, ruffling the back of his hair. “It’s, uh, it’s just that yer eyes show you and not yer body and. Wow I’m putting my foot in my mouth.”

Conan smiled slowly. “I can do that. How do you want to…?”

“However yer comfortable,” Hattori said a bit too quickly.

Conan levered himself closer catching Hattori’s face between his hands. “This good?”

“Yeah,” Hattori said looking a bit stunned. “Yeah that’s fine.”

On a whim, Conan kissed him and felt the way Hattori shivered full bodied from it. There was the slick sound of his hand moving, but Conan didn’t look away as Hattori’s eyelids fluttered or how his expression subtly changed with pleasure.

“Kudo,” Hattori moaned under his breath.

Conan ran a hand against his jaw and back toward the edge of his hairline. “I’ve got you.”

Hattori groaned, probably louder than he intended, and went rigid against Conan’s side. His eyes fluttered shut, then back open a minute later as a deep blush spread across his face. “Shit.”

Conan smirked. “That good?”

“Shut up, Kudo,” Hattori said, pressing his face into Conan’s knees.

It was pretty flattering how fast he came, Conan reflected. Although he had a feeling Hattori didn’t want him to think too much about how the intimacy contributed to that.

“Ugh, we need to go take a bath now.”

“Won’t someone notice us bathing in the middle of the day?”

“I’ll just say I was showing you some kendo moves. They’d believe it.” Hattori pulled away and Conan found himself surprised to miss the warmth.

He pushed that thought away though. “Hey, Hattori?”

“Mm?” Hattori fished out clothing to wear to and from the bath, cleaning himself off a bit with his discarded shirt from earlier.

“Thanks.”

Hattori sent a grin over his shoulder and a wink. “Anytime, Kudo.”

o*O*o

“So,” Conan said to Ai, not really wanting to broach the topic but as usual knowing he should. “It turns out I can function. Sexually speaking?”

“Oh?” Ai didn’t even turn away from her spreadsheet to look at him. Talking about sex was just something they did now, Conan thought with wry humor.

“Yeah. It just takes a lot of stimuli to reach that.”

“I’ll make note of that,” she said. “There still might be a few issues about your brain properly receiving signals.” She turned toward him with a smirk on her face that had him wanting to duck under the nearest table. “Should I congratulate you on finally reaching orgasm?”

Conan went scarlet. “Haibara!”

She laughed. “No need to be shy, it’s not like we haven’t talked about worse things. Can I ask what finally worked?”

“NO,” Conan said. He turned to leave because nope, no, not having this talk.

“Oh, that kinky?”

“I hate you.”

“You don’t.” Ai’s voice followed him out the door. “Oh, and Kudo? If anything else crops up, tell me. Anything at all.”

“Understood!”

He was avoiding her for a while. He really was. But at least he’d gotten something out of all this awkwardness. Hattori was a good friend. Who maybe was slightly more than a friend? There was time to figure out exactly where they all stood with that. Later. And, well, if Conan kind of wanted to see how it would feel in his teenage body someday…

He had a feeling Hattori would take him up on that.

#detective conan #conan/heiji #fanfiction #lemon #i can't believe i'm using that tag in this day and age #but hey #my writing

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dalissy · 5 years

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Born to blossom : an unfinished KaiAo draft

Apparently I am a pro at beginning KaiAo fanfics and never finish them. Oh well. Have this trash anyway. I know I should really stop writing in English but the French DCMK fandom is a nightmare, so... nah.

Based on a prompt in which Aoko gets rejected by Kaito (bc he wants to end it with Pandora and Kid before accepting her feelings) and *eventually* falls in love with Kid instead.

Born to blossom

Tears cold as ice rolled down her cheeks, painfully irrigated by her fierce hot blood. Wind swirled around her, infiltrating her poorly covered skin and rolling her in a transparent blanket at the same time. The people passing near by, the eternal city's lights and sounds were assaulting her eyes and ears. She ignored it all.

I'm sorry, Aoko. But...

"Don't say it", she begged, bitting her lip as the memory began appearing again in her confused brain. "Please, don't say it."

I can't answer...

Her knees against her chest, like a wall against the entire world. The fabric of her skirt in her clenched fist, tighting it up like it was about to be torn apart.

...To your feelings.

An ugly cry came out of her throat.

It was not fair. But it was not like it had ever been in the first place.

In front of the big clock, her body as tiny as an ant compared to it, Aoko was weeping. She did not want to cry. Did it really deserve her tears? It wouldn't change anything anyway, no matter how many of them were falling to the cold ground, in this lonely night.

She had always been afraid to be alone, especially in the dark -even though this last part was more a childish fear than rationnal issue. But something was scarier than these.

She could not remember how she got here. She could only remember Kaito's rejection and sorrowful expression, on the path home.

Did she run away, naturally followed the way to come back to the place they met as if it would rewind time? Was she so desperate not to see him anymore, she refused to go home? She could not tell.

She merely had her school uniform on her. No bag. No phone. No even a single yen.

Even if she wanted, she could not go home. Her father would worry sick... if only he knew.

"Ah, who am I kidding?" She bitterly laughed, desperatly trying to wipe her non-stopping tears. "Tonight's Kid's heist... Dad's too busy to worry... about m...me..."

She wanted to laugh. It only hurt her already painful heart more. She buried her face into her knees.

Disappear. Disappear. She only wanted to disappear from this world where she failed her best friend, trying to confess childish feelings before their paths would definitely separate after their last year of high school, where her parents were stolen from her, one by a job where everyone made fun of him despite his restless efforts, another by unfair destiny. Where the man she hated the most in the universe was loved by the entire population.

"Vanish", she wished to herself as she tapped upon her cheeks. "Vanish! Nobody will miss you, anyway...!"

"I'd gladly grant this wish, Miss; but a true magician cannot make such a sad will come true."

Her heart jumped, her eyes widened as this one last man, this one whom she thought the less to be here at such a moment, was looking down at her with a smirk.

"Kid!..."

She gasped, unable to even make an intelligible answer at first. On the other hand, he leaned down to her in his usual perfect white suit, presenting her a colourful handkerchief close to her face.

"Tears do not match your face."

He was about to wipe out her drenched cheeks, when she instantely slapped his hand and jumped upon her two legs.

"Don't touch me! EVERYONE! HE'S HERE!" she screamed. "THE REAL KID'S HERE!"

She expected the near crowd to run to her, making her able to find a phone and call the police ; but her yell met nothing but silence and emptiness.

"...Eh?"

No one. There was no one anymore. The street was desertic. The people. The lights. The sounds.

Everything had disappeared. Only the faint noise of the wind remained.

"...How..."

"You wanted to disappear from this world." Kid calmly smiled. "But I couldn't answer to your wish; and when confronted to a problem, turn it upside down..."

"...You made the world disappear?"

If she could see his eyes underneath his hat and monocle, she would undeniably see a malicious glimmering in them while he nodded.

"That's not--"

"Possible? Nothing's impossible to me. I thought you'd come to notice it, being the daughter's inspector..."

She frowned. Would he be toying with her for no reason?

"What do you want? You should be at your heist. If this is about the time we got trapped together... I don't really consider I own you anything."

"Even though I saved you? Twice?"

The images of him grasping her so she wouldn't get impaled by the trap's 'punishment', and sweating while she realized he got projected on the broken glass to protect her, flashed through her mind. She was, of course, grateful for that. But they'd never had gotten into such a situation if he never stole in the first place.

"I did not ask you to do so." She protested, her hands firmly on her hips despite tears still running down her face.

A slight silence infiltrated the air. Aoko wished she could ignore him, escape him, go home. But if she did, he would see how trembling her whole body was -and it was a sign of weakness she did not want to show to this man.

He eventually laughed, his lips twisting in a way... so familiar.

"Is this because your phone recorded when I said I had to strip you down to exchange our clothes?"

Her eyes opened widely. No, he could not!... Her father took immediatly her phone afterward as a proof object, and he promised they would go over that--

"You are horrible! Pervert!"

"It was a necessary sacrifice I was willing to make", he smirked very proudly. "And you are right, you don't own me anything. I, myself, have no regrets about acting as I did."

She frowned. Which part of it was a 'sacrifice'? Was it a way to say he didn't enjoy the view?

"You're still a jerk."

She did not say it with as much conviction as she wished she did.

"How cold-hearted, Miss."

"Whatever! Just answer me! What are you here for?! What are your reasons?!"

"Is there to be a reason?"

"Uh?..."

He dreamly glanced at the shining stars upon them, his hands in his pockets.

"I am the only man left in your life, after all. You lost your best friend -or at least you think so- with whom you shared friendship and romantic love. You lost your father -because of me, I won't lie- with whom you shared family love. There's only me left. The man you hate the most passionnatly."

She did not know what to answer. Her wrath lightly faded away. She did not even hate him that much. She did not like him, either. He just was... an anomally she wished could be gone of her life.

"...That doesn't make any sense."

A frank laugh got out of his throat again. "Feelings aren't supposed to always make sense. I think magic works that way, too. The heart has reasons which reason knows nothing of... was it?"

If only she could read into her own heart as much as he did. It was... frustrating. How could he know all of that about her, anyway? They barely talked for the few times they met. Then how come he knew exactly what was wrong?

"I should not love Kaito. I know I shouldn't" she admitted. "For my own sake. I mean, I am an ugly, flat-chested girl... just as he says. I am no match to anyone. I knew he'd reject me. I know he would. And yet... I still tried... And I... I..."

She felt liquid pearls form in her eyes again, her throat twitching at the truth she was about to tell. As useful as trying to extinguish an eternal fire.

"I ruined everything! I lost everything! Now, he will go away... And we'll lose contact, because it'd be too awkward to talk afterward... and... a-and... I'll regret it all my damn life..."

Her nails gripped her filthy uniform as she tried to not scream -she did not care about damaging it anymore. Anytime soon, it would end up in the attic, along with her high-school life memories... and the one she made with Kaito's.

It hurt. Hurt. Hurt. She had lost many friends between middle and high school -distance knew how to torn apart many friendships. But she never thought it would happen with Kaito. It wasn't even imaginable.

After they turn into adult... she thought it would change nothing. They'd still be the goofies they always have been. Forever and ever.

But everything changed, because of her stupid actions. If only the clock they were under could rewind time just a little, little earlier...

She suddenly felt something soft caressing her head. She lifted her eyes -only to see Kid patting her.

She was about to burst out in rage for a second, thinking he was mocking her -nevertheless, soon his pat became a sweet caress of his glove on her wet cheek, as soft as the feathers of a dove.

"You should not give so much credits on a man's thought, miss. Boys, exceptionnally in that age, often say things they do not mean."

"But you- you said it yourself! Now the only man left in my life is... you... Ah... ah. I always get the short end of the stick, it seems..."

"Who said it was a bad thing?"

Before she could even get a surprised expression on her face, his arms hold her tight. Tighter than she has been hugged for years. And again, so familiar...

She could feel his heartbeat, which was the only proof she had that this miraculous phantom thief was an actual human being and not a robot programmed to steal. His warmth, quickly spreading on her skin, somehow comforted her. The tears weren't heavily falling on the ground, now. She had a shoulder to cry upon.

"Nobody can see the beautiful rose you've bloomed into, can they?"

She did not answer. He simply raised his head, looked at her right in the eyes.

It was as if the blue shade of his irises could penetrate the darkness of anything the world could offer, even her own shadow. It felt like she could abandon herself to him without the slightest fear.

"But I can."

Her sapphire-alike eyes had the reflection of the full moon upon them, and the tears made them sparkled like legendary jewels. A sweet wind made her uniform and hair flutter along with his cape.

When his firm lips met hers on this strange night, she neither had the strenght or the desire to push him away anymore.

"OUCH! It huuurts!"

The big bump on Aoko's head was the proof of a troublesome wake up. How did she manage to hit the wall in her sleep?! She touched her forehead, a slight tear of pain stuck in her eye.

"I was in the middle of a dream here!"

She freezed. The white suit of Kid's appeared in her memory.

A dream. A dream.

It was nothing but a dream! She put a hand on her heart, sighting in pure relief.

"Oh, thank God!"

Everything made perfect sense, now. For the love of God, she did NOT kiss Kid in the most illogical way, she did not cry upon his shoulder: it was nothing but merely a trick made up by her unconscient!

"That was why he looked so much like..."

She suddenly remembered. Everything was not a creation of her mind. Yesterday... she...

She could see it so easily. Her and Kaito, on the way home. Her, with her confused words, her freezing body, trying to confess to this boy with whom she had shared most of the sweetest childhood that could ever be. Him, not understanding. Denying.

Rejecting.

I'm sorry, Aoko. I can't answer...

"...To your feelings."

The words died upon her trembling lips. Ah... so it did happened, didn't it? The memory of her running home, not even looking back at him, not even knowing if he tried to follow her, exploding in tears as soon as the door of her empty house was closed. Crying herself to sleep. Eventually falling into Morpheus' arms only because her mind could not take how desastrous and destroyed she felt.

Her unconscient just tried to comfort her. It appeared crystal clear to her now.

"Ah... I really am... pathetic."

#DCMK #Magic Kaito #Kaito Kuroba #Kaito Kid #aoko nakamori #fanfiction #kaiao #aokai #kiao

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