Hi friend! I am back in your asks so we can freak out together. I’m fairly certain I’ve come here with something similar before but…BUT…
I’m sitting here all emotional because I just had the thought that Buck doesn’t KNOW. A large part of Buck’s story across the seasons has been his search for “perfect” romantic love, for the best partner, for that fairytale happy ending. But I don’t think he has ever allowed himself to even consider Eddie in that capacity (even if he’s aware of their connection subconsciously). So it’s going to take Eddie telling him that he’s in love with him for Buck to even consider that his great love and love story has been in front of him this entire time.
And it’s just WILD because (like the will) Eddie is once again sitting on really important information that will be monumental for Buck. And before 4x13/14 I always thought Buck knew first or would confess first…and now that we know what we know and have seen a little tiny bit of what’s going on with Eddie, it actually makes more sense that Buck has no idea whatsoever. Having *Eddie* be the one to know first and to admit his true feelings and open Buck’s eyes to what they’ve made together is just…pure magic? Genius writing? Like it just makes so much more sense. And oh it makes my heart acheee.
Eddie getting to choose who and what makes him happy, Buck being chosen because of who he is and by someone who truly knows him so well, the “you don’t find it son, you make it” coming back around…ugh CHEF’S KISS. This truly is a work of art that we are witnessing unfold.
Tinaaaa so good to see you, but why must you wreck me emotionally every time you stop by my asks????
We've screamed about this countless times before and I will CONTINUE to scream about it because Eddie actively choosing what makes him happy (Buck) and Buck being chosen by someone (Eddie) who loves him for the simple fact that he is who he is is just SOMETHING THAT IS SO PERSONAL. I mean, isn't that what both their traumas and their storylines boil down to? Buck wanting to be loved and chosen and sought after for who he is, and not some software update version of who he's expected to be? And Eddie allowing himself the selfish act of desiring and needing things solely for himself, so he can build his authentic happiness?
If this is the love story they are telling, then they once again have shown how they will always know their characters better than us, and that whatever it is we expect, they will always deliver something a thousand times better.
Despite literally everything Buck wants out of a meaningful relationship being what he has with Eddie and Christopher, I agree with you in that I get the feeling he just doesn't KNOW. or doesn't see it. I think the shape he has in his head of what his perfect relationship is supposed to look like is just so wildly different than the one he has with Eddie, that something is just not clicking. I also think Buck has a trek record of self-sabotage via seeking out relationships with people he unconsciously knows are doomed to fail in order to not have to crack open that part of himself he buried from the world years ago, but that's just me *shrugging emoji*
Though, the hilarious thing is . . . he's already kinda cracked himself open for Eddie. There's a subconscious (maybe conscious) part of Buck that knows Eddie will safeguard his vulnerability. That he's safe with him. He's let Eddie see him at his absolute worst points and Eddie has loved him anyway. And I don't think Buck is emotionally or psychologically prepared to digest that information and process it. At least not yet.
*sighs wistfully* let's never stop shouting about this, okay?
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Croissant (newtina)
(A croissant and a black coffee can bring two people together. Tina and Newt are maybe around 18. Modern AU. this was a small oneshot i wrote maybe a year or two ago? i thought y’all might wanna read)
Newt dried off some more glasses, scanning the small cafe for Jacob. He appeared next to him, right after Newt finished drying the last glass.
“Hey, bud. You doin’ okay?” Jacob patted Newt on the back.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Newt replied.
“I’m going out with Queenie later on, you okay to run the shop alone?” Jacob asked. Newt gulped.
“I guess I’ll be fine,” he said uncertainly.
Jacob smiled. “It’ll only be for an hour. Besides, you might meet a friend.”
Jacob and Queenie had met when she visited the small cafe and they had hit it off instantly. Newt, in all honesty, was incredibly jealous. He wanted someone to care about more than anything. The bell at the counter dinged and he sighed and saw the customer. The dude asked for a coffee, and Newt shuffled off to fulfil his request. While he worked, he scanned the cafe. He liked to see the people. The bell at the door rang as a new customer entered. Newt handed the coffee to the customer and looked up at the person who had just entered. His jaw dropped.
The most beautiful woman, maybe a few years younger than Newt, biting her lip, stood in front of the door. She was carrying a sling bag over her shoulder. He watched her walk to the two-person table at the far end of the cafe, next to the window, which Newt remembered was the table that nobody ever really sat at. She sat down and pulled a book out of her bag. She opened it and a small smile appeared on her face. He watched her read for a while before realising that they were in a cafe and she was probably waiting to be served. Flustered, he walked nervously to her table.
“H-hi, uh, d-do you want to order now?” He stuttered. The woman looked up.
“Oh- uh, j-just a croissant and a black coffee, t-thank you,” she looked down and back up at him again. He smiled uncertainly at her and she smiled softly back. He was mesmerised by how her eyes lit up when she smiled. He walked off to grab a croissant and making her coffee, sneaking glances at her every once in a while. Sometimes he would see her watching him, blushing after, and sometimes she was just reading her book. After mixing the coffee, he carried her croissant and coffee over to her table.
“Thank you.” She said quietly. He smiled and nodded in return. He returned to his spot at the counter and watched her nibble slowly at the croissant, still reading her book. He sighed dreamily, drifting into a trance.
Jacob tapped him on the shoulder, which got him out of the trance and Newt nearly fell over.
“Oh my- oh, it’s just you, Jacob.” He breathed heavily. Jacob grinned mischievously at him. Queenie, who was behind him, walked quickly to the woman’s table, laughing and talking to her. Newt stole a glance at the woman, who was smiling. Queenie walked back to them with a grin.
“Hello, Newt! That’s my sister, Tina.” She beamed at him, seeing him watch her.
Newt smiled back. “Hello, Queenie.”
He looked again at Tina (he loved that name) who had resumed reading her book. Queenie leaned in to whisper in his ear.
“Teen can be a little shy, but she says she likes this place.” Newt blushed.
“Teen, c’mon, let’s go home!” Queenie tugged at Tina’s arm. Tina hastily stuffed her book into her bag.
“Alright, alright, Queenie, I’m coming!”
She quickly looked at the waiter who had served her earlier to see if he was still there. He was. He looked awkward as ever. She smiled at him and waved slightly.
He waved back. Newt wondered if he would see her again.
She visited every day after that. The second day, he told her his name. The third day he stayed and sat with her and talked to her. The fourth, they talked about their lives. Tina was a uni student at Hogwarts University. She liked coffee (Newt seriously didn’t understand that), she had a cat named Niffler and that she loved to read. The fifth, she hugged him. Newt found himself always going to her table, giving her the croissant and black coffee she ordered every single day, asking what book she was reading (sometimes she would read some to him) and asking her about her cat (Newt loved animals). It made him happier.
Tina entered the cafe. She checked her spot was free and carefully made her way there. She scanned the area for Newt, and there he was, waiting. He smiled at her. She grinned back. Honestly one of the only reasons she came here everyday was to see him. Oh, and the awesome croissants. He made her laugh, he made her smile, and he made her nervous. Although Tina wouldn’t admit that out loud, of course. She saw Newt walk with his head down to her table.
“Hi, Tina. Just the croissant and coffee?” He asked her nicely. She nodded.
“Yes, thank you, Newt.” He walked off to make them. She watched him whistling while working. Until Queenie tapped her on the shoulder.
“Teen? You there? Earth to Tinaaaa...” She looked to where Tina was staring and saw Newt smiling to himself making coffee.
“Oooohhhhh, okay then. Teenie’s in looove!” Queenie teased. Tina blushed and glared at her.
“No! No- it’s just- he’s nice!”
Queenie grinned cheekily. “Have you also noticed that every single day he’s the one who serves you? He always makes you the same thing every day? What do ya say to that, Teen?”
Tina scoffed. “He does that to everyone. I’m nobody special.”
Queenie tapped the side of her head. “Also remember he always comes to talk to you.” And then she went to find Jacob. Tina sighed. Why would he, an absolutely adorable and awesome guy, like her? She was just Tina. Plain, boring, sometimes-incredibly-annoying Tina. She sighed, Queenie had distracted her from her book. Sometimes she felt like Queenie could read her mind.
Newt had a funny habit where whenever he sent the croissant and coffee to Tina’s table, he would place the plate with croissant on his head and the coffee in his hands. This would make Tina laugh always, and her laugh would always make his day. As per usual, he did that.
“Newt! You need to stop doing that! One day you’re gonna drop it!” Tina laughed. She took the plate from his head and set it on the table. Newt placed her coffee next to it, brushing against her hand and feeling electricity shoot up his arm. It’s just a brush. Nothing special. It’s not like she did it on purpose...
“Thank you, Newt. The croissants are really good, who makes them?” Tina asked him. Newt told her how Jacob had taught him how to make the croissants, all while she nibbled on the croissant, watching him talk.
Her eyes shined with admiration and curiosity.
Tina checked her watch. 4:30.
“Mercy Lewis, look at the time! Newt, I’d better be getting home before Queenie kills me. Bye, Newt. See you tomorrow!” She thought for a second, reached up and kissed his cheek, smiled, and left. Newt raised a hand to where Tina had kissed him and smiled.
He would wait another day.
If only everything could always be so happy. It was a Friday. Usually Tina would come by at around 3:30, but today she wasn’t there. He waited gloomily at the counter, waiting to see her grinning face, telling him about whatever book she was reading. She didn’t come. At around 4:30 Queenie stopped by.
“Hey, Newt? Have you seen Tina around?” She asked him.
He shook his head. “I haven’t seen her at all today.”
Queenie must have noticed his gloomy face, because she smiled reassuringly at him. “Maybe she’s staying back at uni. I’ll call her.”
“She’s not picking up.” Queenie informed them. “I’m going to go and see if she’s home.” And with that, Queenie left. Newt sighed. There were still customers to serve, he reminded himself. That day, people noticed his usual happiness was diminishing. He waited. Even after 7:00 when the cafe closed. Eventually he had no choice but to trudge home. His Aunt Bunty stood in the kitchen.
“What’s wrong, Newt?” His aunt asked him. He shook his head.
“Is it Tina? Did she not come today?” She comforted him. “Maybe she was busy. She’ll probably come tomorrow.”
She wasn’t there. Newt kept his eye out, serving customers as usual. Saturday was pretty busy, but that didn’t stop him. Queenie came over a bit later on to tell them that Tina was unwell and was not going to get out at all for a while.
To top things off, Theseus came to visit.
“Brother!” He boomed, entering the cafe. He immediately squashed Newt in a hug, which Newt did not like.
“Hullo, Theseus.” He grumbled.
Theseus noticed Newt was in a less happy mood than usual.
“What’s wrong, little brother?” Newt shook his head.
“Okay. Just keep on serving.”
An entire week passed. A week of him staring out the window, reading Tina’s favourite books, eating croissants and drinking tea (Newt could not bring himself to drink coffee). A week he really did not like. He was about to say his thousandth ‘hello what would you like today’ when he looked up and saw the biggest and most breathtaking smile he’d ever seen. He ran in front of the counter and hugged her as tight as he dared, and, dare he say it, he liked it. How could he like a hug? Well, that’s because he was hugging Tina Goldstein.
“Newt.” She whispered in his ear.
He pulled away and looked into her eyes. “Tina.”
She grinned at him. “Missed me?”
“Maybe...” he trailed off. Newt cleared his throat.
“Uh, so... there’s this new restaurant opening around the corner, and- and I was wondering if you’d like to... come? With me? To... eat something?”
Tina smiled at him. “I’d like that- very much.”
{ah, the days where i wrote nice fluffy stuff.}
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