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wen-kexing-apologist · 5 months

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Top 5 Emotional Outbursts

See if no one else on this website has my back, I know Ben has my back because he is giving me a chance to talk about my boy Patts once more

TOP 5 EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS OF 2023

Patts, La Pluie

gif by the beautiful, marvelous @liyazaki

Episode 10 was just an absolute masterclass in emotional outbursts. The fight between Lomfon and Patts, then Patts and Tai, then Lomfon and Tien, then Patts and Tai again. Like goddamn, finally thank fuck, Patts is able to let out years worth of frustration and pain at Tai's silence was just so beautiful, and cathartic, and necessary. What an absolutely incredible moment to not only witness but experience. Patts has been so kind, so patient, so forgiving, and it was time for all the pain that he's been letting simmer for two years out. Good! For! Him!

Uea and His Bio Family, Bed Friend

There are few characters in this world I hate more than Uea's mother, and it was so so so so so so wonderful to see Uea finally give her a piece of his mind. I am so proud of him for speaking his mind, standing his ground, and getting the ever living fuck out of his bio family's house. Too personal, sorry, but this fight hit especially well for me because I too have had a parent say they'd live perfectly happily without me, and it was great vindication of my reaction to that to see Uea GTFO immediately after.

Secondarily, James' sobbing screams at the beginning of episode 4 and in the flashback of him getting dragged in to the bathroom when he was an adult have never left my brain. James absolutely crushed those scenes and this was going to be my Bed Friend pick before I remembered this fight exists.

Jim and Li Ming // Heart and His Parents, Moonlight Chicken

I don't think I am exaggerating when I say that Jim and Li Ming's relationship dynamics is one of my favorite of all time. Aof is such an incredible screenwriter/director and I feel like he's able to make such realistic depictions of families in all their complicated glory. The screaming match between Jim and Li Ming is SO good, and really is what solidified my appreciation for Fourth's acting skills because there was a fucking storm cloud on his brow. Happy fucking birthday to you Uncle Jim I guess. Poor fucker.

And then of course, one of the first ever posts I made in the BL Sphere of tumblr was a full essay on Heart's confrontation which I loved so motherfucking much. Once again a much needed fight with lots of interesting, complicated emotions flying around the room.

Kiyoi and Hira, Utsukushii Kare Season 2

gif by @itsallaboutbl

"I'm sorry that I like you" one of the best moments of the year for me by far. This fight between Kiyoi and Hira was desperately, and I mean desperately needed. I know changing will be a slow process for the two of them, and even in Eternal they are no where near where they need to be, but Hira needs/needed to cut this Pebble to a God bullshit out and I am so glad that Kiyoi was able to call him on it. Also from a performance standpoint, Yagi Yusei had his work cut out for him as a scene partner to Hagiwara who absolutely bodied his role as Hira. In season one Yagi did not need to do all that much for his performance because we didn't know as much about Kiyoi until closer to the end, but that cannot be the case for Season 2 and Yagi knocked it out of the motherfucking park.

Sunshine and Q, 7 Days Before Valentine

Okay, almost positive this isn't a BL but I love when people structure TV shows like stage plays, and there was a fight between Sunshine and Q in like Episode 4 or 5 where they were shouting over each other and it just felt so real and the dead silence that hit the room when Q said something that struck a chord with Sunshine was expertly handled, and some of the best work I've seen out of Atom the whole show. I don't think anyone gifed it so I can't put the scene in, but I think you talked about it in your Stray Thoughts @bengiyo

And just cause I wanna, the Top 5 Emotional Outbursts of the pre-2023 shows I watched this year:

In and Wang's fight in 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us, Ep 8

Gav sobbing about his aunt in Gameboys (the movie, i think?)

Pran sobbing in to Pat's shoulder in Bad Buddy, Ep 10

Tarn's fight with Teh in I Told Sunset About You, Ep 4 (shout out to Smile there because I still cannot believe it was the first thing she filmed on set)

Shiro being terrified Kenji was dying and Kenji being worried Shiro was dying and the resulting clownery from them blurting that out in What Did You Eat Yesterday? I think it was the New Year's special.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL 2023

#best of bl 2023 #ask game #la pluie the series #bed friend #moonlight chicken #utsukushii kare #7 days before valentine #180 degree longitude passes through us #gameboys #gameboys the series #bad buddy #bbs #i told sunset about you #itsay #what did you eat yesterday?#kinou nani tabeta?

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thescrumptiousstuffs · 1 year

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I’m reminded again how truly talented Khaotung is as an actor - he played Gaipa masterfully and the most recent BTS Moonlight Chicken, episode 7 funeral scene highlight this beautifully…

See his adoring fans 👇🏽 🫣🥹

MVP - Khaotung Thanawat as Gaipa in Moonlight Chicken

15/06/2023

#gmmtv series #thai bl #khaotung thanawat #first kanaphan #earth pirapat #aof noppharnach #moonlight chicken #seeing 7 mins of BTS of Khao nailing his character and breaking my heart once again 🤌#also the fact that GMMTV named the clip MVP Khaotung Thanawat - clearly deserving!#firstkhao #firstkhaotung #P’Aof said Khao made everyone on set cried! the extras! Jim! Alan who technically don’t even know him well! the staffs! and P’aof himself!

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circuscl0wn · 1 year

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All I know is that both Fourth and Khaotung CLOCKED IN for work and did OVERTIME

They absolutely delivered their lines, facial expression were pure perfection, and both captivated me. Khaotung made episode 7 HIS, I haven’t been moved to tears like that in a while. Li Ming’s calm yet tense outburst of anger and frustrations at the adults in his life was just so satisfying to see and Fourth delivered it so well. The heart to heart he had with both Leng and with Uncle Jim? Absolutely loved it. Amazing episode.

#moonlight chicken #moonlight chicken episode 7 #mlc #fourth nattawat #khaotung thanawat #khaotung #li Ming #thai bl #Gaipa #moonlight chicken the series #moonlight chicken series #Gmmtv #earth pirapat

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blmpff · 5 months

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- Uncle Jim age 50000, more wrinkles than skin and all that

#yeah i know i know #still funny #moonlight chicken #favorite scenes #episode 7 #blmpff

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respectthepetty · 1 year

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Did GMMTV and P'Aof wait to release Moonlight Chicken now (a year after it was announced), so the ending could occur in the Year of the Rabbit since rabbits are connected to (full) moons?

Did they wait for it to be last in the Midnight Series because the airing dates (Feb. 8 - Mar. 2) fall in between full moons (Feb. 6 & Mar. 7)?

Was this big brained energy planned the same way The Eclipse (its ending depicting the eclipse correlated with a real-life eclipse) and 609 Bedtime Story (it aired the same date as the date Mum and Dew meet in the show)?

Is Never Let Me Go also going to give us the Chinese Valentine's Day moment of the cowheader and the weaver girl on Valentine's Day?

ARE THESE THE REASONS I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THESE SHOWS TO BE RELEASED?!

You smart bitches!

Additions:

7 Days Before Valentine ending 7 days before Valentine's Day.

The Sign ending in the Year of the Dragon Naga (in Thailand).

Laws of Attraction wedding invite showing the same date the episode aired.

#Moonlight Chicken #The Eclipse #609 Bedtime Story #Never Let Me Go #the sign the series #7 days before valentine #laws of attraction #Were the release dates strategically planned?!#Is this big brained energy?!#I need to learn Thai‚ so I can send emails to these people asking them all these questions

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liyazaki · 1 year

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how to spot a 30-something in the wild: look for a tired-but-still-got-it someone losing it at Uncle Jim’s “I’m at this age- it’s not easy for me.”

#moonlight chicken #moonlight chicken the series #moonlight chicken ep 7 #britney yeah.gif

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dropthedemiurge · 1 year

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I am once again fascinated by P’Aof’s power in filming and intentional message for every episode (hello to the Metaphors Overflowing episode lol).

It’s so clear that the overall theme of this episode was ‘the ending’. (SPOILERS for Moonlight Chicken EP 7 below!)

First of all, a very obvious one – Ms.Hong gone, it’s the end of her life, it’s another parent of Gaipa gone, he’s alone and heartbroken now, in need of someone to stay by his side – but his possible relationship with Jim ended right before this episode as well (and completely finalized now). He says he doesn’t want to be the good and kind guy anymore, because kind guys give out love and get nothing in return. Gaipa got his world shaken and turned upside down, it’s time for him to find a new anchor.

Then the relationship between Alan and Wen – yes, they broke up already but again, it’s final once and for all in this episode. Now they confirmed for sure that nothing could’ve saved their relationship they’ve been clinging to so hard all those months. But the bond is still there. The soft smiles and letting each other go are there. The end of 5-years-old couple.

The end of unfair gap misunderstanding between Jim and Liming we witnessed as well – when Jim finally got the advice and started listening and talking to his nephew. What does he want? Why did he try to smoke? Why is he gay? What are his plans for the future? Come on, grab a beer and tell me. I’m going to let you make the decisions for yourself. It’s the end of their conflict, now they are equal adults.

It’s the end of Jem’s abstence from Li Ming’s life. He might not want his mom back in his life or himself back into hers – but his mom is here now and she wants to take care of him, now it’s up to Li Ming to choose.

And, well, Heart got the closure of his conflict with parents in this episode as well. Now both his mom and dad FINALLY after three years let him outside and they even make effort to communicate in sign language with him. He’s already on the path of having a different life.

I also loved how mature the relationships were shown – yes, they established JimWen heading towards dating finally, they hinted at Alan meeting Gaipa as well, but Wen takes care of Alan and Jim stays by Gaipa’s side throughout the whole funeral. There is no jealousy, no bitterness, just people who care about each other and understand that we need to help each other. Even Jim tried to help Alan (wow I was genuinely afraid of how that’d go, but seems like the bitterness from Alan towards Jim has almost faded too).

Following this message, Jim deciding not to use someone’s title deed and just closing Moonlight Chicken Diner which he was so proud of in the beginning... isn’t giving up. It’s not a sad finale. It’s not losing everything. It’s getting his closure with Beam and their dream, writing down a dot on disrespect from Beam’s parents. The closed restaurant is a metaphor of closure and a very obvious symbol.

All of the characters had something end this episode. But things have to end in order to face new beginnings.

Wen, Jim, Alan, Gaipa, Li Ming, Heart, Jem, even Leng and Praew – in the final episode we’ll see how each of them (and together) will move on. What new path will they choose? Some of them held to their past for too long. Finally, they’re free to choose.

#moonlight chicken #moonlight chicken series #moonlight chicken ep 7 #i swear i said i wasn't going to write analysis or thoughts #what IS THIS damn

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anotherblblog · 1 year

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Dear Gaipa, damn dawg. I'm sorry.

~Life

#moonlight chicken #moonlight chicken 7 #Gaipa is the biblical Job #khaotung thanawat

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syrena-del-mar · 1 year

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Let’s talk about Uncle Jim and the preview of episode 7.

I think we need to look at Uncle Jim as a product of circumstances.

It’s easy to call him a hypocrite if you are only looking at the fact that he’s, essentially, pointing fingers at his nephew, Li Ming, for being gay while he’s out there having sex with Wen and whatever their ‘situationship’ is a the moment. Now, I’m not saying it’s was okay, or anything of the sort, on how he will be dealing with finding out about Li Ming and Heart, but I think we do need to go beyond the surface level, “He’s a homophobe!” virtue-signaling that has been going around and look at the complexity that lead to that moment.

I'm going to break this down into three parts: (1) Uncle Jim's financial struggles, (2) Uncle Jim's struggles with his sexual identity, and (3) how they play into the confrontation.

1. Uncle Jim and the effect of poverty on his worldview

First, we need to look at what Uncle Jim’s relationship with Li Ming. The first clue into the relationship between Uncle Jim and Li Ming is in Episode 1 while Saleng and Li Ming meet up. Saleng let’s Li Ming know that it would be best if he came back to the diner straight after school so Uncle Jim wouldn’t nag him again, and Li Ming being the teenager that he is, blew off the advice stating to just let Uncle Jim nag. Tensions between the two are already somewhat heightened, which tends to naturally occur as kids grow into their teens and don’t see eye-to-eye with their parental figures. Add in the fact that Li Ming is growing up and starting to make decisions for his own future, and Uncle Jim doesn't agree with a lot of them, their relationship is going to be rocky.

Second, Uncle Jim knows his place in a classist society and has conformed to it. Time and time again, in the conversations with Wen, Uncle Jim has diminished his work as a chicken vendor. It's a labor-intensive job. Even with a diner that's packed and being on television, the amount of money is not enough to pay the bills. Chicken prices have been going higher and higher, which the audience is informed through Gaipa's mother, and he's barely able to stretch the income that the chicken shop is bring to cover the bills. They are poor, living essentially paycheck-to-paycheck and just hoping to be able to get by. It's his every-day life and he's been burned out by it. It's no comfy desk job, local restaurants are looked down on. There's no honor or 'reward' for his work aside from seeing people enjoy the food that he makes with his own hands.

He 'knows' his place in society and behaves according to it. During the whole initial fiasco of meeting Heart's parents, Uncle Jim apologizes on behalf of Li Ming. Heart's father is an officer, a Senior Sergeant, and wealthy ones at that. Uncle Jim is more than aware of the status difference and what that signifies in the terms to the power that they hold. So Uncle Jim would rather Li Ming take the blame and smooth things over, instead of risking upsetting Heart's parents.

Meanwhile, Li Ming is aware of the classism and resents it. He's aware of their financial status and the power that others hold over them, as seen with his indignant response when Uncle Jim suggests just thinking of the situation with Heart's parents as 'bad luck'. Li Ming is young, that's the reality. He hasn't been worn down like Uncle Jim and as a result he still (correctly) pushes against the idea that just because Heart's parents hold a high status, he should plead guilty. He knows he's innocent because he is innocent, and he's hurt that Uncle Jim would tell him to just take the blame. But the thing is, I don't think it's that Uncle Jim doesn't believe or trust him, more than anything Uncle Jim is worried that defying would somehow get Li Ming in more trouble, potentially jeopardizing his future.

Which comes to the third point, Uncle Jim wants Li Ming to do better for himself and have a brighter future than he does. He doesn't want Li Ming to know the struggle of barely being able to pay for bills or the pain of such a laborious job. That's not to say that the way Uncle Jim goes about it is correct, especially when pushing Li Ming to study is just making him miserable and Uncle Jim fails or refuses to see that. But I think he truly believes that Li Ming would find a better life by getting a college degree. To Uncle Jim, it's Li Ming's ticket out of the misery that being poor brings; he pushes it onto him because he truly wants what's best for him.

Uncle Jim, like many parents or parental figures, wants Li Ming to do better in life than he has. Uncle Jim has been worn down by life, he's essentially just floating, trying not to drown. He doesn't want that for Li Ming. Yet, Uncle Jim is so consumed by the stress of running the diner and the lack of funds that it brings in, he doesn't really see that there are other ways besides getting a college degree to be successful. (I think many children of immigrant parents/third-world countries can relate to the pressure parents apply in succeeding in their education to pull themselves out of poverty.) Which results in Uncle Jim not listening to the wants and needs of Li Ming. Uncle Jim has been tired down by the reality of poverty and he doesn't want to Li Ming to experience it, especially when he can provide Li Ming the opportunity to go to college and get an education, even if it costs him more in the long run.

He wants Li Ming to have every opportunity and success out there that's available, ones that he didn't have. To Uncle Jim, that means getting a degree. A degree can open doors that are otherwise locked. It's a ticket out. Uncle Jim's main motivation is Li Ming to find success, to find financial stability. It's the idea that once you're financially stable and out of poverty, only then can you strive to find happiness. Poverty, to Uncle Jim, is a brick wall that is in Li Ming's way. Getting a degree is an opportunity that wasn't awarded to Uncle Jim and it's highly likely that Uncle Jim blames that for his present struggles.

From Uncle Jim's point of view, Li Ming is almost a mirror copy of him and going down a path that led to a lot of Uncle Jim's own pain and suffering. Uncle Jim is reactive, even when he is trying to be proactive, because that's all he knows how to do to survive. It's not that he intends to harm Li Ming, but rather it's the consequence of his good intentions that he ends up hurting him. A double-edged sword.

He doesn't want his nephew to follow in his foot steps, he wants him to be better than him.

2. Uncle Jim and his journey with his sexuality

I don't think we can just state that Uncle Jim is a hypocrite and homophobic. Does he probably struggle with internalized homophobia? Probably. But I think the reaction, stems from much more than just simple internalized homophobia. Rather I suspect his reaction has much more to do with his personal relationships, both familial and with Beam, and how they have shaped his life in relation to his sexuality.

Here we're going to start off with Uncle Jim's relationship with his sister, Li Ming's mother. His sister told him explicitly that she doesn't believe that gay relationships to work. She compared them to straight relationships and essentially, in lack of better terms, told Uncle Jim that they were inferior. Wen even states, "Love has no gender. everyday, heterosexual couples split up. No one bothers to find out why they break up. gender has nothing to do with successful or unsuccessful relationships." Even though logically, Uncle Jim understands that, the reality was that his sister's words rang in his mind after he found out that Beam was with a woman, while also being with him.

He was burned after taking a chance. When you get one too many burns, fear starts to become standard response.

Uncle Jim's relationship with Beam has a lot to do with how he NOW views love and the place it has in his life. Uncle Jim opened up the chicken dinner in hope to help provide for Beam. I mean they were wearing rings, it was a very serious and committed relationship. Uncle Jim, in his 20s, took the risk of losing his family for this man, to prove his sister wrong. Where did that lead him? To unknowingly being the sidepiece in a straight relationship. And then Beam goes and dies before Uncle Jim could get any answers.

For about a decade, Uncle Jim was left to wallow in his pain from the wound that Beam left him. He had no clue whether Beam actually loved him. Not to mention that he, a male, was the sidepiece. This isn't just simple cheating, instead it's rather significant that Beam was cheating on his long-time girlfriend/fiancée with him. While Uncle Jim and Beam may have had a ring on each other's finger, it says something that he was the hidden lover. How could Uncle Jim not wonder if Beam was using him/hiding him due to being ashamed of being gay? Or question if he was every truly loved?

Uncle Jim was left stagnant after Beam died, there was no way to come to terms with being the side-piece to a straight relationship. There was no clarity or closure that he could have gotten to move on, because the only person that could offer to him, died. It's obvious that his relationship with Beam shifted on how he felt about love, Uncle Jim states that several times to Wen. The relationship (being the hidden side piece) likely changed how he felt about being gay and gay relationships, potentially subconsciously. It wouldn't be shocking if he attributes some of his struggles to him being gay.

Uncle Jim risked his family, attempting to prove his sister wrong, and instead it backfired. A lot of pain and suffering that Uncle Jim has experienced in life has been due to his relationship, and it wouldn't be a giant leap to think that he attributes the pain specifically to having risked everything for a man. And he'd been stuck in that mindset for so many years, relationships meant potential pain. He'd gone against the status quo and that's why he got burned.

He's still barely learning to love again, learning to let go of the past.

3. How both factor in Uncle Jim confronting Li Ming about his relationship with Heart.

I think it has been established that Uncle Jim has just been in a land of pain, where he was left just a shadow of his bright 20-something-year-old self, after running the chicken diner and having a horrific ending to what seemed like a promising relationship.

Uncle Jim is only starting to reemerge and learn what it's like to live again after meeting Wen. Sure, he probably did have moments in his day-to-day life where he could laugh and smile with others, but those were fleeting moments. He was and has been struggling in every single aspect of his life, in his love-life, his financial status, his class status, he sexuality. Uncle Jim, by not being part of the status-quo, has lived a difficult life.

That's the exact opposite of what he wants for Li Ming. He wants him to be happy, to be stable, to not suffer like he is suffering for the decisions that he made as a young-adult. He's scared and afraid for the future of his nephew, because Li Ming is not willing to conform. Li Ming is resentful and indignant with society, like many young teens are, and isn't ready to bend to the rule of those with higher status. That almost guarantees that he's going to face hardships and that scares Uncle Jim.

If that wasn't bad enough, Uncle Jim finds out that he both doesn't want to get a higher education after graduation and he's gay. Two more attributes that almost guarantee a lot of pain in society, even if there has been large strides in LGBTQ+ relations since Uncle Jim came out.

When Uncle Jim sees Li Ming it's like staring at his own reflection and that scares him. He doesn't want Li Ming to end up like him, struggling for money and not fully accepted by society. It's a fear that only a guardian can truly understand.

Uncle Jim has only known pain since finding out about Papang cheated. Even though he now loves his diner, I'm sure it was painful before because it was a reminder, one that he has given his blood, sweat and tears for. He's only now coming out of the haze, from a zombie-like state, so the way he communicates isn't eloquent, it's forceful and harsh. He doesn't know how to effectively convey his worries to Li Ming and he doesn't know how to listen, to learn that maybe there is more than one way to achieve happiness and stability.

He's not mad at the fact that Li Ming is gay, but rather he's mad that after everything he has done to avoid Li Ming growing up to be like him (poor, struggling, tormented), Li Ming is still going to end up where he is. His mirror.

It's not okay that he reacts in the way that he does, I'm sure it'll hurt Li Ming more than anything, but it's also not shocking to see that Uncle Jim is angry. Angry at the situation... a repeat of his own in his eyes. And I think that it's more complicated than just a cry of "Uncle Jim is homophobic."

TLDR; Uncle Jim's outburst against Li Ming for being with Heart isn't solely rooted in homophobia, though there may be an aspect of internalized homophobia. Rather, Uncle Jim is a product of his situation and he doesn't know how to effectively communicate with his nephew. He's struggling and he doesn't want that for Li Ming. That's not to say that it's okay that Uncle Jim confronts Li Ming for being gay, especially in that manner, but it's not surprising when he reacts in that way.

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chickenstrangers · 1 year

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Gaipa is a character I cannot think about too much or it hurts but also I have been living in this scene for the last 3 months so I'm going to try.

It means so much to me to see Gaipa and Mrs Hong have such an honest and explicit discussion about Gaipa's queerness. It really shows how comfortable they are with each other, and how much they love each other, and that this isn't the first time they've discussed it. Moments like this one are part of what makes this show feel so queer, and it's something that I don't feel I've seen much of in queer media.

A lot of queer stories are coming of age narratives or stories of discovering queer identity. And that's important! Vital! We also have that in Moonlight Chicken with Li Ming and Heart's budding relationship. It's wonderful to see characters coming into their own with their queer identity, and all of the other things that come along with these stories, including coming out. But it's also so important to see what happens years or even decades after the initial "coming out".

Conversations about identity don't necessarily stop, especially in such a close relationship like the one between Gaipa and his mother. This isn't about questioning his identity or devaluing it, but stating support and love explicitly. Mrs Hong says she always knew that Gaipa was gay, since he was a child. We don't know what his story was growing up, if he sat down with his parents and came out, or if it happened more casually if they already knew. It was an unspoken understanding, but that doesn’t prevent him from wanting to speak it.

Queer coming of age does not stop once you've come out once. Adult queer narratives do not need to avoid explicit discussions of identity just because the characters are more settled and comfortable with their sexuality. This scene really resonated with me for me by showing the continuation of that queer experience.

There's such clear comfort in this conversation and how it shows that Gaipa and his mom truly know each other, how open and loving they are with each other, how they can joke around about it and be playful with each other, but they are still not taking the unspoken words for granted. Gaipa still wants and needs it to be said aloud. Their conversation in this scene is not a revelation that Gaipa is gay, and it's not new information that Mrs Hong loves and accepts him for it. But I can completely understand wanting to hear it said aloud, "Do you regret it…that I'm gay?" And she says unequivocally that no, she has no regrets, she just wants him to be happy, and find the love that he wants.

I talked about this a little bit before but this question of regret is really powerful. Gaipa isn't necessarily very happy at this moment; he's lonely, he clearly wants to find a reciprocated love and hasn't yet. His mother can see that he is sad about this. But does that mean she regrets that he's gay, or wishes he were different than he is? Even if it were easier for him in general to be straight? But as Jim and Wen discuss, being straight is no guarantee of happiness either. Mrs Hong has no regrets about this, and loves Gaipa wholeheartedly.

The relationship between parents and their queer children, whether biological or not, plays a large role in Moonlight Chicken. We see that Jam accepts that her brother is gay but has a much harder time accepting that her son is. We see Jim being upset to learn that Li Ming is gay, for much of the same reason that Gaipa is asking his mom about, his worry that life will be harder for Li Ming because of his sexuality. We see this scene echoed in Wen's conversation with his stepfather, who also fully supports Wen, asking about who he's seeing, and they clearly have a solid relationship, though much of this support is a bit more implicit than in Gaipa's conversation. All these moments together highlight the complexities of these relationships and highlight different queer experiences.

Queerness isn't Gaipa's whole identity, but it's an important part, and it's understandable for him to want to be open about it with his mom. And it is so powerful for me to see him at this stage in his journey and see this sort of conversation on screen.

#moonlight chicken #in this post i forget about the existence of episode 7 thank you very much #another scene that this reminds me of is in dark blue kiss #with pete's conversation with his father long after he's come out and they can talk comfortably about it #i am obviously not saying every show needs to do this or that its a universal queer experience #but its something that really stood out to me #moonlight chicken meta #thinking thoughts #gaipa moonlight chicken #khaotun #khaotung thanawat

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wen-kexing-apologist · 1 year

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Isn't It Difficult Enough to Be Born Poor?

Once again, I must start this post out by saying...Fuck you @respectthepetty. You did this to me, I currently have eleven (11)...ELEVEN (this will be 12) long as all hell analysis posts about Moonlight Chicken and at least half of them are your fault. Because you started posting about colors and then I had to start thinking about my feelings when I watched television. And here we are. If you are worried about what your legacy will be as a role model. Don't be. Your legacy has been talking about colors so much you have converted half the interest in to color analysts. This one isn't about color though, I just needed to curse you out for creating an analysis demon.

All that said, let's get in to Jim and Li Ming this episode.

So, Li Ming has just had a very emotionally draining conversation with his mother, and he is trying desperately to leave the house and just go, go anywhere cause Heart's not home, when Jim comes waltzing in and accidentally blocking his exit. "Where are you going now?" and GOD LI MING DOES NOT HAVE FUCKING TIME FOR THIS.

The most exasperated face to date. But it's not really Jim's fault that Li Ming is acting like this, he's just a casualty of war. A safe vessel that will hold all Li Ming's emotions.

"Outside." "Where?" "Don't know yet," "What do you mean?"

Guess who's making eye contact again after a conversation with his mother where he very rarely looked in her direction????

Side note: I love this line "I haven't decided where I want to be yet," because it can be relevant to so many things and is a foundational theme of this episode, with no one acting on the choices they have before them until Gaipa's mother dies

"Then stay home and study," and here we go, another adult, telling him what to do, not being there for the conversation beforehand and having no idea they are plucking at an already frayed cord.

"I'm going to Heart's home," he tries to leave, Jim stops him.

Li Ming already knows exactly what Jim is implying here. But his mother is home, and he's already exhausted, and he just...he just wants to leave. But he's not afraid, he's calm, if annoyed.

He's happy to entertain the conversation, just not right now. Right now he is tired, and he just wants some time alone, some time with Heart.

Jim, once again, does not respect Li Ming's question, and forges ahead, because he needs to know, needs to confirm his fears.

Get, his ass Li Ming! To me, it helps so much prevent a fundamental breakdown in Li Ming and Jim's relationship here to have Li Ming know that Jim is gay as well. I think that knowledge, coupled with the exhaustion he is already feeling, just lets the rest of this conversation go over surprisingly smoothly.

"Li Ming, I'm your uncle," "Adults can do no wrong? Adults can kiss but kids can't? Is it the wrong thing to do? Is the world coming to an end?"

For Jim? The answer feels like a yes. Because Jim grew up in a very differently world than Li Ming has. He has internalized so much homophobia, not just from society but from his own sister, the person he had to rely on the most when he was young. A person whose opinions are very clearly shown to matter to Jim. Everything Jim has repeated so far in this show that is homophobic is a direct quote from his sister.

To Jim being gay has made life so much harder for him. Hell, he himself was a victim of the legal system, with Beam's family taking all the money he and Beam had saved, because gay marriage is not recognized so they could not open a joint bank account and everything was in Beam's name. This is a very real struggle, and a possibility Li Ming himself could face one day. A reality that Li Ming has no concept of because he's eighteen, and he hasn't lived his life yet, he hasn't faced society the same way Jim has...

But to Li Ming? Being gay isn't a big deal. Because Li Ming was raised by an openly queer man. Even if Jim is far more careful and restrained about showing physical affection or giving too much attention to Wen men in public, his friends all know. Leng teases him about it, Leng teases Gaipa about it. Jam knows about Jim. Beam's family knew. Wen literally walked in to Li Ming's room the night Wen and Jim had their "one night stand". Li Ming knows Jim is gay.

So while Jim and Beam were navigating being queer even just ten, twenty years ago with no one obviously queer elders around them to guide them, Li Ming has grown up around multiple queer seniors, one of whom is his uncle. Of course he has an entirely different perception of how significant it is to be gay. He had nothing but positive queer role models around him to guide him as he grew. Role models who were open. And I love the post from @respectthepetty and this post from @heart-ming that talk about the pressure Jim puts on himself, especially after he realizes that Li Ming is gay. All he can think about is every way that he has failed, when the fact that Li Ming is able to say so casually, so quietly, with a touch of disgust on his face: "So what? What's the big deal [that I'm gay]?" proves that he has succeeded at being a queer role model. Because Li Ming does not hate his queerness.

I love this shot once Li Ming leaves, because there is a moment of recognition. Oh shit, Jam is here.

Followed by Oh shit, I outed Li Ming to his (historically homophobic) Mom. Yet another thing for him to be able to blame himself for.

Something that I have really appreciated about the two Fourth and Gemini shows from this year, is that in both of them, the children are spared from their own parent's ignorance. Li Ming does not know he has been outed to his mother, and he will not hear her say the homophobic things. Jim is the one that will carry that weight. He is the one that will address her concerns, and tell her she is wrong. Li Ming does not need to experience that.

"Was it my fault I left my child in your care?"

YEAH JAM. GIVE HIM A BREAK, HE'S FUCKING RAISED YOUR CHILD FOR YOU.

And God this moment sucks so bad because you know that she is voicing his worst fear. He already blames himself, the sentiment Jam states, and Jim repeats "Li Ming might not have become gay if he didn't live with me," that is 100% what I knew Jim was thinking in this moment in Episode 6. "oh shit, Jam is gonna tell me that I rubbed off on him,"

And it's so interesting to me the way they placed the sequence of events in Episode 7, Jim talks to Jam and Jam asks if she can blame Jim for Li Ming being gay because he wasn't gay when he lived with Jam, and JIM IS IN THAT MOMENT ABLE TO BE LIKE "what if he was that before living with me?", "What's the point of placing blame? He does nothing wrong."

When confronted with ignorance, he is able to stand up against it, speak out about it, and confront his sister's biases. But when he goes to see Wen, he repeats the same thing she did "Li Ming might not have become gay if he didn't live with me,"

Also, best part of the talk between Jim and Jam was this moment:

Jim is finally starting to listen to his nephew's wishes. He will not make a decision as big as having Li Ming move back in with his mother. He understands that Li Ming needs to choose this. And, I will note that this is a conversation she has already asked Li Ming about, and she didn't get the answer she wanted so she has resorted to asking the family member Li Ming loves and trusts to get him to change his mind. And she holds the deed title over Jim's head about it, trying to give him the ultimatum that he can only get the deed if he helps her rob Li Ming of even more of his autonomy. And Jim finally says no. "Don't do this" he begs, and at the end of the episode he returns the deed to Jam.

Cut to soon-to-be-father Leng, talking about how expensive it is to have and raise a child. And this is something Li Ming is painfully aware of in his own right, he's held Jim's "I pay your tuition" statement right back over his head. Li Ming is aware that Jim is struggling to make ends meet, he's aware that they live in poverty.

"Don't have kids," Leng says, only partly joking, but with a smile on his face. And Li Ming has just come from a terrible conversation with his mother where he was faced with the thought of actually having to leave Jim to go back to a home he didn't used to be wanted in. "Did you ever consider abortion?" is a very answer-seeking question, it's intentional, and it's not about Leng, it's about Li "I didn't ask to be born" Ming. Leng is honest "I thought about it, but Praew's parents want a grandchild so I'm okay ot have this baby. But I can barely make it through the day, how am I supposed to raise a child?" and I think that is a wake up call for Li Ming in a way.

Jim is his parent. Jim is barely making it through the day. How is Jim supposed to raise Li Ming? No one knows, but he does it. And he does it cause he loves Li Ming.

To preface this, if Li Ming ends up going to America and doing the Work and Travel thing, I am completely fine with that, but I am on the Interpreter!Li Ming train so I at the very least want a seedling of doubt to be planted in Li Ming's mind. And I am choosing to believe it is this moment. Right after Li Ming is faced with the actual, very real potential threat of having to leave Pattaya, Heart, Jim, his community here, he asks Leng if he would still want to stay with his parents if they were alive. Leng says "Probably not. Everyone has their own life to live. And parents cannot be with us forever," (I see you P'Aof and P'Best, you evil evil motherfuckers)

This is Li Ming's face after Leng makes that comment. That boy is haunted and that boy is thinking. The wheels are turning. He is evaluating.

Cut to Wen and Jim. "What fight did you have with your nephew?" is literally the first question Wen asks when Jim shows up at his apartment. And I both love and hate that Wen so often has to act as the go-between. I mean from the sense that he is between the two generations and can be respected at both ends of it, it's great, and it's nice that we establish that Li Ming trusts, values, and listens to Wen, that Wen fits in this family. On the down side, I really wish Li Ming knew and could see how many times Jim has sought out council to better understand his son nephew.

Heart is Li Ming's safe zone when he feels misunderstood, Wen is Jim's.

Jim gets done denying everything his sister said, telling her she is wrong, that being gay does not work like that, that there is no one to blame, but he internalized that shit and immediately went to Wen to try to process his feelings.

"I can't help blaming myself for it. Li Ming might not have become gay if he didn't live with me."

"How come Saleng is straight? He's been with you for a long time as well. Trust me it has nothing to do with you."

We need this scene to explain Jim's behavior. To show the struggles he is having with his internalized homophobia. To how how deeply he loves and looks up to his family. That he catches and carries the shame, the guilt, the blame of his queerness when it's called in to question by his sister. But that he is able to recognize and shed that shame when Wen asks him very simple questions. Because he knows the answer to them, you can't catch queerness, Li Ming isn't gay because of Jim, in fact, Jim being queer was a protective factor in Li Ming's own relationship to his queerness.

"And what era are we in now?" Wen says "No one really looks for reasons why people are gay anymore."

That is the question of the hour for Jim isn't it? What era are we in now? Jim is stuck in the past. He is trapped under decades of struggle and strife, and the behavior he had to have to survive. He is shifting his paradigm, slowly but surely, and this is the question that Jim will need to answer for himself in order to better understand his nephew and in order to shed some of the weight he carries.

"What era are we in now?"

Not Jim's era. We're in an era of change.

Jim does not remove Wen's hand. We are in an era of change.

"You are gay, aren't you? Why can't you accept your nephew is gay?"

"I can accept that. I'm just worried about him,"

This is Jim's fundamental character trait in his relationship with Li Ming. He's just worried about him.

"You do know that it's not easy being gay in this country. I can't see how he is able to lead a good life."

We are in an era of change.

"If [Li Ming] wants to tell someone you will hear it before me, trust me," Jim says.

"Because you are strict,"

Li Ming has been telling him this from the beginning, but that's his child, and it's difficult to give up that need to protect him. We are in an era of change. It is time for Jim to accept that Li Ming is growing up, and he has to start seeing Li Ming as an adult if he wants Li Ming to trust him.

So it's time to listen:

"No,"

"Why?"

"I hadn't seen her in 5 or 6 years. Out of the blue she showed up and told me she loves me. Do you expect me to love her back just like that?"

"Can't you love her simply because she is your mother?" Jim certainly loves her just because she is his sister. Even though she's hurt him. Even though the blame he places on himself, the internalized homophobia, all of that comes from her.

"I know I owe her gratitude. But being a mother or father should not be an excuse for everything,"

Li Ming is smart in this way, he is showing Jim that he has opinions, he has justifications for his behavior, and they go against tradition, sure, but that has always been li Ming's thing. Why do powerful people have the right to hurt us? Why do I have to love someone who's hurt me?

"But I think your mother loves you too,"

"Love can't be forced, right? Just because she gave birth to me, must I love her back? If you ask me if I love you or not, I can answer that more easily,"

"I can easily say that I love you,"

Moonlight Chicken is a show about family, found or otherwise. Li Ming has shown his love for his uncle repeatedly in this show. In the way he steps up to take responsibility for the broken alcohol so Jim doesn't have to stress about money. In the way he listens to Jim and calms down when his emotions get too out of control. In the way he shows up for Jim's birthday party even though they fought. In the way he always looks Jim in the eye. But he hasn't said the words "I love you," to Jim, not since we've been following them at least.

Jim gives Li Ming a olive branch beer.

"Get a taste of being an adult," WE DID IT FOLKS! WE GOT THERE!!! JIM HAS FINALLY DONE IT, HE HAS FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT LI MING HAS BEEN ASKING FOR THE ENTIRE GODDAMN TIME!!!! *airhorn noises*

And because this is literally all Li Ming has been wanting, the apologies, the trust, the honesty, the willingness and need to explain, to help Jim better understand his actions follows quickly. And Jim reciprocates that gift with his own, "I wasn't mad at you for the cigarette, I was mad at myself for demonstrating that behavior,"

"What about Heart?" he teases "Have you tried him out already so you know you like him?" and it's not really an apology, but it doesn't have to be. Because I do think Li Ming understands where Jim was coming from, it's difficult to be gay. Uncle Jim is worried about him. But this, again, is Jim's way of showing Li Ming he is on board with their relationship. He is teasing him, and they are back to their regularly scheduled program after this.

God, Jim loves his nephew so much. And God, this is the happiest and most carefree that I have seen Li Ming be outside of when he's spending time with Heart.

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