#might be planning a shovel talk in a private chat tho

[petite-phthora]

Do you think it was a date?

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 5]

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Part 1

Ao3

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In-chat nicknames:

Daniel = Danny

Sharpshooter = Jazz

TooFine= Tucker

Chaos = Sam

TheCoolerDaniel = Danielle/Dani/Ellie

---

Private chat nicknames:

Bill = Danny

Pants = Jazz

---

As soon as Danny enters his apartment, face bright red, he takes his head into his hands and lets out a silent scream.

He could have said anything, and he panicked and went with Toodealoo Kangaroo???

At this rate, he’ll never get a partner.

As Danny stands there in misery, his phone starts buzzing with messages. Curious, he checks his phone to see what going on.

Uh oh.

---

Team Phantom 👻😎

Chaos: Guys check this out

Chaos: *link*

Chaos: The Joker escaped from Arkham again, but no one’s heard anything of him since, nor have they been able to find him

TooFine: @Daniel 👀

TooFine: ok the @ had been a joke but the fact that he has read it and not replied is concerning

Sharpshooter: @Daniel, what did you do?

Sharpshooter: @Daniel

Sharpshooter: I can see that you’re reading this, don’t ignore me.

TooFine: ohhhh someones in troubleee 👀

Sharpshooter: Tucker.

TooFine: 🤐

---

Danny takes a deep breath.

Well, it’s now or never. Let’s hope Jazz is feeling merciful.

---

Private chat

Bill: ok so you know how you said you would still love me if I was a worm?

Pants: I have no clue how this ties into the previous conversation, but yes. Why?

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: would you also still love me if I

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: accidentally

Bill: vibe checked someone that tried to uh

Bill: hypothetically

Bill: kidnap and or kill me??

Bill: 🥺🥺🙏

Pants: Danny, did you accidentally kill the Joker?

Bill: yes or no Jazz??!? 😩🥺

Pants: Yes, Danny. I would still love you if you, hypothetically, accidentally killed the Joker.

Bill: this is why you’re my favorite sister 🥹🥰😘

Bill: don’t tell Ellie 😳🫣

Pants: Danny, what happened?

---

Danny lets out a sigh of relief before proceeding to tell Jazz what happened.

---

Pants: Oh Danny.

Bill: are you mad at me?

Pants: I’m not mad at you, I just want you to stay safe.

Pants: While I don’t condone murder, I understand that it was self-defense and an accident. I‘m just glad that you’re alright.

Bill: 🥰💞😘

---

With a small smile on his face, Danny goes back to the groupchat.

---

Team Phantom 👻😎

Daniel: you know

Daniel: if I had a nickel for every time I’ve had to fight off an insane clown that attacked me 🤡

Daniel: I’d have two nickels

Daniel: which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice, right? 🤔

Chaos: Damnit Danny, we leave you alone in a new city for a week and you already manage to get into a fight with one of Gotham City’s most infamous rogues

TooFine: actually its been 6 days 10 hours and 17 minutes

TooFine: so not even a full week yet

Chaos: Did you at least get a good few punches in?

Chaos: Danny?

TooFine: @Daniel ???

TooFine: if i had a nickel for every time danny said something concerning and then didnt provide context id be richer than vlad

Daniel: anyway, for completely unrelated reasons, @TooFine I need you to wipe some cams for me 😃

TooFine: danny im not wiping the cams again so no one will have proof of you tripping backward and falling ass-first into a trashcan

Chaos: Speaking of, Tucker do you still have that footage and can you send it to me?

TooFine: already done

Daniel: noo it’s nothing like that this time 😫

Daniel: pleaseeee 🥺🙏🙏

Daniel: I’ll get you an autograph from Tim Drake-Wayne?

TooFine: deal.

Daniel: 🥳🎉

Daniel: ok so the footage from somewhere around 3 am last night

Daniel: around some place named park row??

Daniel: I think it’s called?? 🤔

Daniel: though I’m pretty sure I’ve also heard some people refer to it as crime alley

Daniel: not sure why tho 🤷

TooTine: aye aye captain o7

Chaos: Danny, in an alley getting attacked by the fucking Joker: I wonder why this place is called crime alley

Daniel: stop bullying me 😠

Chaos: No

TooFine: hey danny r u sure thats right? i checked the cams n stuff but theres no available footage from the area n time u described

TooFine: its like someones already wiped it all

Daniel: oh!

Daniel: that’s so sweet of him  😊

Chaos: Wait who is this ‘him’?

TooFine: the joker????

Daniel: oh no not the Joker

Daniel: just some cute guy I met last night  

Daniel: he witnessed me killing the Joker 🫣

Daniel: and didn’t call the cops on me afterward 🥰💞

TooFine: def green flag

Chaos: Oh hell yeah, he’s a keeper

Chaos: Wait you killed the Joker?! I thought you just fought him off!

Daniel: it was an accident!! 😭😭

Daniel: he crept up on me and tried to grab me 😓

Daniel: so I got startled and because all I saw was a clown

Daniel: I just kinda punched his face in with my ghost strength… 😰

TooFine: f

Chaos: f

Sharpshooter: Have you gotten rid of the body yet? Did you leave behind DNA at the crime scene? Will I need to start saving up bail money or getting ready to enact the Fenton Break Out plan?

Chaos: Jazz asking the important questions here

Daniel: well, considering the footage was wiped

Daniel: and also the fact that no one’s found him yet

Daniel: I think it’s safe to assume it’s all taken care of

Daniel: that’s honestly really sweet of him though 🥰😊

TooFine: oohhhhh ur mystery boo??

Daniel: yeah, this random guy saw me vibe-checking the Joker

Daniel: and let me go home without any trouble

Daniel: pretty sure he’s the one who wiped the cams 🤔

Daniel: and then today he showed up at my apartment with flowers 🥺

Daniel: they were sweat peas!!!! 🥰🤩

Chaos: Was that to thank you for the murder orrrr?

Sharpshooter: Oh those are your favorite, was that on purpose?

Daniel: well I didn’t tell him

Daniel: so I’m not sure if he knew or if it was a coincidence 🤷

Daniel: but yeah then he took me out to this restaurant called Pete’s for dinner

Daniel: they had some amazing cannoli

Daniel: you should try it sometime if you get the chance

Daniel: and then after dinner he took me to the observatory!!!!!!! 🤩🥰

Sharpshooter: Gotham observatory?

Sharpshooter: Isn’t that the one with the special telescope, I think you mentioned it before

Daniel: yeah, the crystal-powered telescope!! 😍💞✨🤩❤️

Daniel: and at the end, he brought me home

Daniel: and he asked for my number!!!

TooFine: nice dude!

Chaos: The guy really went all-out and planned your dream date hu? So, what’s this mystery hunk’s name?

Daniel: oh I’m not sure, I didn’t ask 🙃🤭

Sharpshooter: Danny…

Daniel: yes?

Sharpshooter: Did you go on a date with a complete stranger who witnessed you commit a murder?

Chaos: How do you not even know his name?

Daniel: two words Jazz: Johnny 13

Daniel: and he’s not a stranger!! 😠

Sharpshooter: But you don’t know his name?

Chaos: We just can’t leave him alone, can we? Less than a week on his own and he already murdered one of Gotham’s most infamous rogues and then completely forgets the concept of Stranger Danger

Daniel: I mean he probably just found it when he tried to do some research on me or something

Daniel: probably got it from the school’s system now that I think of it 🤔

TooFine: dude who the hell is this guy??

Chaos: Who the fuck did you go on a date with?

Daniel: do you really think it was a date? 🥺😳

Daniel: I wasn’t sure

Daniel: cause he mainly took me out for dinner to thank me for the night before

Daniel: but then again

Daniel: he did get me flowers and ask for my number after he brought me back to my apartment 🤔

Daniel: like I wasn’t sure if I was reading the signals right…..

Daniel: but do you think that was a date? 🫣

Sharpshooter: Danny, for the love of the Ancients.

Sharpshooter: Who was it?

Daniel: oh, it was Red Hood 🥰

TooFine: damn dannys got that vigilante rizz

Sharpshooter: Red Hood? The crime lord?!

TooFine: former, actually

Daniel: what he said ^^

Chaos: Danny, you really have a type huh? Vigilantes with a Red theme. Who’s next? Red Robin?

Daniel: stop bullying me

TooFine: never

Chaos: Never

Daniel: on a different note, who changed my name in the chat again?

Sharpshooter: Ellie did.

Chaos: Ellie

TooFine: @TheCoolerDaniel

TheCoolerDaniel: 😎

TheCoolerDaniel: wait i just read back, danny’s dating a crime lord?? :0 👀

---

Taglist (for now, I’ll probably stop if I cant keep up):

@i-always-say-yea  @uraniumwizard

#i had more planned for this chapter #but this already started to become too long #so the batfam reactions will hae to be in the next chap #sorry #anyway #dp x dc #dp x dc fic #dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc crossover #dead on main #dead on main ship #Danny in an alley getting attacked by the fucking Joker: I wonder why this place called crime alley #team phantom has questions #but then again weirder shit has happened #danny killing the joker and going on a date with red hood is barely in the top 10 of weird/fucked up shit he's done #he seems fine and happy so theyre not too worried #might be planning a shovel talk in a private chat tho #sam: alright ill get the creep stick #sam: jazz-- #jazz: already getting the ecto-skeleton ready as we speak #oh for those who are curious #jazz and danny's private chat nicknames are references to invis-o-bill and jazzie-pants the nicknames #question: would anyone mind me adding some plot? it'll still be mainly crack of course #but i got a thought of how i could add in a lil plot #tho i won't do it if people prefer it like this #so let me know what y'all think

[liannelara-dracula]

Headcannons of S&M&T and Kino using Instagram? What do you think they would post and how would they use it?

Omg you are genius! This is an amazing ask.

I can’t believe I didn’t think of this.

Link to prompt---> HERE

Please join my diabolik lovers group chat! Link---> HERE

Read Laito Sakamaki Fanfic [Dark Theme]---> Here

————————

Shu:

He’s not on too much.

His username is just: shu.sakamaki

He follows his brothers and Yuma to annoy him.

His posts are probably just like landscapes.

Usually of a sunset.

And about his music and classical music he likes.

He also probably posts about the triplets doing something stupid on his story.

While they’re not watching.

He’ll tag them in the story saying, “remember this?”

Even adds special effects just to spice it up.

He has so many followers bc all the girls at his school follow him.

He gets so many dms but leaves them on read.😂😂

He tags his bros to annoy them.

Doesn’t post about his gf very much.

Usually when she’s not looking.

Reiji:

Username: scienceiskey or perfectioniskey

He follows his brothers of course and might even follow Ruki.

He sometimes unfollows his brothers tho if there getting annoying😂😂

But will eventually refollow them.

He posts about his experiments and science in general.

But it’s very aesthetic.

On his story he’ll post pictures of things that are broken in the house and he’ll literally tag all his brothers and ask “who is responsible?” Or “you did it and I know.”😂😂

He’ll also post things about nature on his story.

He never posts selfies.

On his bio he literally tagged shu and said please don’t follow this good for nothing.😂😂

He posts with a schedule.😂

He doesn’t post about his gf at all.

This is cause he doesn’t want to share you with the world.

Laito:

Personal account username is: Laito.is.gay sexy😂😂

He has two accounts: one is a porn one and the other is his personal.

He doesn’t keep them private.

Because he believes in being open.

He follows his brothers and has Ayato on his bio.

On his personal he posts pictures of himself.

Fangirls follow him. So he live streams a lot.

And talks about his day and what annoys him and whose getting on his nerves.

He blows kisses into the camera.

Tells them his plans and has a slogan, “being a hoe never hurt anyone.”😂

He follows the fangirls back.

Answers the dms.

All of them.

On his porn account he says he’s a major in sexology.

If there is an occupation option he types in sexologist.😂😂

If Reiji finds his porn account he’ll block it permanently.😂

With his gf he posts pictures of them on his personal account. And will feature them on his porn account if she’s ok with it.

Kanato:

Username is: teddyisnotbasic or dollsarebetterthanu or better yet, on_wednesdays_we_wear_purple. Even, only.bitches.wear.purple

He is an idol on there.

Every girl loves him.

He sets the Lolita trend.

Posts about doll stuff and it’s super aesthetic.

Everything is very cute.

He uses a lot filters to make the posts all have the same glow.

He also posts about sweets and about teddy too.

He does post about his gf when she wears Lolita clothes with him.

Ayato:

Omg 😱 do not get me started😂😂

His username is: Ayato_Sama_Sakamaki

Which idk if you’ll noticed but his username’s initials spell ass.😂😂

Includes special people in his bio, for example

look @ dee dude: @/laito.is.sexy

Bae: @/y/n’s username

This dude is the meme king and the vine king.

He reposts his favorite vines or memes too.

He makes his own with Laito all the effin’ time!

Which are beyond popular.

Sometimes he features Kino or Subaru in the film and shit just gets wilder.

Literally posts the dumbest shit on his story.

He’ll make live videos about the challenges he does too.

He even has friends from school join his vids.

He has so many followers and he tags his brothers to make them laugh.

Shu usually finds it funny, especially if it’s about dissing Reiji.

And Reiji being the petty ass he is, will just block him for little bit.😂😂

But then he’ll follow him again.

Has a lot of followers like no shit.

He follows a lot of them back too.

Includes his gf in the vines.

Subaru:

Username: im_not_a_damn_car 😂😂😂

He doesn’t follow anyone except for his brothers and his gf.

His account is private so every time Kou sends in a follow request he rejects it.😂😂😂

Doesn’t post anything really.

When he does it’s only for a little bit and then he archives it.

Bc he thinks it’s weird.

Or that the photo turns ugly.

He follows a lot of emo accounts tho.

And emo bands

His bio is emo too.

“how can emptiness be so heavy?”

Will take selfies but ones that don’t show his face very much.

Only uses black emoji hearts.

Doesn’t post about his gf cause that’s private but he has her on his bio.

“Claimed, touch her and you die”

Kino:

Username: ask_yo_girl_about_me

Another vine king

Him an Ayato follow each other.

They r bros—fight me on this but I’m right.

They are always in each other’s videos.

Tags Ayato in a lot of posts

Has lots of followers

Does so many live streams and answers random questions.

Posts late at night, a lot.

He has a lot of reels too.

Uses a lot slang.

Cocky af😏

Has rants sometimes.

He has his gf in his bio and sometimes posts about her.

Mukami

Ruki:

Username: Ruki_grey

He’s not online too much.

Follows his brothers and surprisingly Reiji.

Posts about literature like his favorite book/quotes

But it’s always aesthetic.

He has some pictures of himself but not too many.

He usually has more pictures of his girlfriend tbh.

He is very poetic and on his story he posts about quotes he likes or pictures of his gf.

He has a lot followers and has probably been scouted for modeling.

Yuma:

Username: hotgirlbummer or summerbummer

He posts about the music he likes and gardening.

It’s really about plants and how to grow them.

Has a lot tutorials.

And facts.

Never mind the profanity and his clumsiness in his tutorials.

“Oh shit!” He’d say dropping a shovel.

“Ruki man didn’t set this up right.” He’d complain referring to the space he was using to do the tutorial.

Pots pictures of flowers that have bloomed and veggies that are ready.

He has another account that’s personal where he follows his brothers and posts about rap music.

Or just music he likes.

There are not too many photos.

He posts pictures of his gf on his personal.

He also takes videos of her to annoy her and see her get camera shy.

“Turn it off!” You’d say cover the camera with your hand.

But he of course just doesn’t.

Kou:

Username: koumukami

It’s an official account.

Cause he’s an idol

He has millions of people following him.

He only follows his brothers.

Tries to follow Subaru but it never works😂😂

Calls out people who judge him.

“Hey! I don’t appreciate comments like this on my page.”

He’s slogan is, “I just can’t worry about no haters, I gotta stay on my grind.”

Tags Yuma and teases him about stuff if possible.

He posts about his music.

Has live videos where he talks about anything or where he sings.

Loves to take pictures of himself and he does a lot.

like everyday.

Includes his gf in videos and photos and talks about her non stop.

making fans jelly.

Is very sassy and will post rants if needed.

Responds to his fans’ dms.

Azusa:

Username: softclouds

Has a soft profile.

Things about nature and cute things.

Posts about his gf more than himself.

Or about them together.

Doesn’t have a lot of posts

He gets tagged by his brothers which he follows.

On his story he posts pictures of you or where he’s traveled to.

The filters are soft ones.

He probably has a bio that’s short but simple.

“Hi.....I’m Azusa Mukami.”

Tsukinami

Carla:

Username: imcarlatsukinami or scarftsuki.

He posts about land scapes and literature.

Just really aesthetic.

He has pictures of him and his gf.

Has you in his bio.

Is rarely on.

Follows Shin.

Has a private account.

Doesn’t reply to comments unless it’s from his gf.

Shin:

Username: badassesonly or y/n’s.daddy

He posts so much about his girlfriend and him.

Always about where they go.

He has pics of him and his brother too.

He follows Carla, Kino and Ayato.

He doesn’t make vines but sometimes Kino will ask him to join his.

He posts about food and working out.

On his story he posts about you secretly.

Mostly about your body.

You get mad at him for it.

Tells people to follow you.

Doesn’t live stream.

He’s on a lot.

Loves to use filters on his brother and on his gf.

He posts about animals to.

His account is not private and he has a lot of followers.

#anime #diabolik lovers #anime headcanons #anime requests #laito sakamaki #diabolik lovers headcanons #request #azusa mukami #shu sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #kino sakamaki #carla tsukinami #shin tsukinami #ruki mukami #yuma mukami #kou mukami