#love the fucked up zombie experiments of re as well bc it lets me do aaallll sorts of things to azure

[chryzure-archive]

this is also unrelated to everything and u dont have to answer!!! but i know you like RE and had RE aus…and since i’ve been afflicted by …l*on…i’m absorbing the series sm <3..ANYWAYS THO CAN I PLZ KNOW ABOUT THE RE AUs…. what ships do u have them for and any specific game… im sorry this is random💔i want to think about something that is RE but not…That Man.. 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

IVE GOT YOU, RYNE!!!!!!!

okay okay okay, so the re2 remake did damage to me in my junior year of high school<33 so i have a generic re2 au w chryzure,,,, not bc i ship leon and claire bc.. icky, but i do think it tracks that chrysi and azure would only go through the events of that game after having a heartfelt conversation in the rain on opposite sides of a chain link fence… they could only be separated frm each other via zombies, and even then, they find each other again… also azure turns around after finding chrysi and he finds that she has adopted a child. he is now a father. he didn’t know that would end up happening, but boy, did it!!!

speaking of chryzure re aus, sdldjflskjflksjdfslkdjf…… re7 chryzure au breaks my heart. azure doesn’t care that chrysi has been supposedly dead for YEARS—he gets an email frm his girlfriend wife soulmate and he is ON HIS WAY. nothing will stand in front of him!!! even chrysi made murderous by sentient mold!!!!!!!!!!! it’s okay, he can fix her!!!!!!!!!!!! but the scene where she shoves him out into the hallway and effectively separates them before she goes murderous again KILLS ME!!!!!! he loves his wife!!!! he wants her to come back with him so bad! AND THE HELICOPTER SCENE WHERE CHRYSI’S ALL LAID OUT ON THE MEDICAL COT AND THEY’RE FLYING AWAY FRM THE HOUSE AND THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS FINALLY, AFTER YEARS OF BEING SEPARATED…. IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY!!!

i have a variation of the re7 au where azure’s the one that went missing and AUGH. it hurts more, i think? bc he’s normally so careful, so the fact that he was captured and infected w mold is upsetting to chrysi. again, the shoving-out-of-the-room-to-protect-her scene kills me, but it makes me even sadder when it’s azure doing it,,,, bc he’ll sacrifice himself for chrysi over and over again, he’ll do anything to keep her safe above all else, and even though it feels like tearing out his own heart, he’ll leave her if it means her safety…. in that universe, the helicopter scene is chrysi being very exasperated and frustrated w azure. meanwhile, he’s like “omg,..,,, i get to be w my soulmate gf wife for good this time!!!!!”…. cut to chrysi getting involved in zombie cases again bc there’s no stopping her. sigh.

it’s not super an official au, but i do like thinking of re3 scenes in aa chryzure context?? or jst chrysi being a cool agent being tracked down by a deadly lab-grown zombie creacher… i jst think chrysi kicks ass and she would look cool doing all the same things jill valentine did. azure is a prettyboy special agent that knows abt chrysi’s past and he’s always admired her frm afar,,, this is only so that i can have the scene where chrysi gets infected and azure starts tearing through zombies to get a cure for her bc he has such a major soulmate crush on her. umm ummm, the scene where that scientist guy is holding carlos in front of him and trying to get to safety under the context that jill won’t shoot, but he does that w azure and azure’s like “go ahead. kill him. i know your aim is good enough to not hit me” and chrysi’s like “i appreciate the confidence in me, i jst think that maybe you shouldn’t have it.” but she does have good aim, so bye bye!!! (i haven’t seen gameplayof re3 in a while, so pardon me if the details are hazy ;;;; )

UMMM, i don’t know if these count, but the live action resident evil movies that are not at all related to the games (not truly) have some moments that i’ve superimposed soooo hard on chryzure zombie aus. like azure slowly developing the telekinetic powers of the third one (??? i think??? i also haven’t seen the movies in a while), or him dying and being brought back wrong (…can’t remember the context for that either, but umm it’s because chrysi was going to be hurt by some flying shrapnel and azure shielded her with his body instead,,, causing the shrapnel to travel straight through his body and he dies apart from chrysi bc she’s dragged away from him by somebody trying to keep her away from zombies. it is a sad moment that i like to turn aroudn in my head like a plate in the microwave),,, meanwhile chrysi keeps building up her groups of survivors over and over again.

OHHH, ANOTHER RE MOVIE SCENE I THINK OF IS HAVING AZURE BE INFECTED AND HE’S SLOWLY TURNING BUT HE HAS TO HELP THEM, SO HE KISSES CHRYSI ONE LAST TIME BEFORE SACRIFICING HIMSELF BY BLOWING UP ALL ZOMBIES AROUND HIM. i don’t have this be canon most of the time (or maybe it is… maybe i’ll go with the “azure brought back to life” thing being that he’s jst clone after clone of himself, with new zombie powers each time.), but it is something i like to think of…

but yeah yeah yeah, i love the movies and how silly they are + i think azure deserves to be a new, fucked up zombie clone of himself each time, and that he should find his original body being kept in stasis with chrysi, and so there’s a whole moral issue of, “i’m not the actual person she loves, but i love her and i want to be with her… even though i know the original version of me deserves it more.” now i am thinking abt this rlly hard. fuck. i could make a whole, unique storyline frm this alone bc i looooove this little rabbit hole.

there’s also that chrysijacks re7 au, and with that, i mostly like to imagine chrysi chasing jacks with a chainsaw <3 it’s what she deserves. it’s also what jacks deserves. get his ass, honey.

(that helicopter scene haunts me so mmuch btw, so i always imagine a ship in that setting, bc it’s so genuinely romantic in its peak form… going through and hell and escaping it, and clinging to each other as you go to someplace better… it makes me cry every time i think of it. i always make it more touchy-feely bc IT SHOULD BE!!!

#.asks #s.chryzure #s.chrysijacks #m.moon🎀 #I THINK ABT AZURE HAVING SUCH A HORRIBLE TIME IN A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE SETTING BC IT MAKES ME SMILE #i’m sorry.. i jst think he needs to be hurt.. not bc he deserves it but bc he’s sooo pretty when hes in torment #it’s like a form of art. #love the fucked up zombie experiments of re as well bc it lets me do aaallll sorts of things to azure #i get to torture him TENFOLD!!!!

[transsexualhamlet]

the many sins of tokyo ghoul :re

or: 13 reasons why :re is fucking terrible not clickbait

Disclaimer: I think no matter how long this post gets I’m missing something, so let’s just outline the worst ones. And I mean to be transparent, the only reason I actually read :re was so I could make this post... (and bc i wanted to see the what, five panels of hide) Well, I couldn’t stand hating it without evidence beyond hearsay and General Vibes. But I knew it was gonna be bad, I knew it was going to ruin me jesus christ. Obviously I’m not hating on people that like it, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with genuinely enjoying it (I do genuinely enjoy parts of it, and by parts i mean chapters 1-50 with exceptions and 75) I think it’s wonderful if you can derive joy from it (lmao) but I can say that through my lens in life, there’s so much fucking wrong with this goddamn fucking piece of shit manga and I feel the need to yell about it because i am ✨autism✨ so let’s get going (this is r e a l l y long just a warning)

tl;dr Ishida stay in your fucking lane

1. Transphobia and Homophobia:

alright here we are first off with the big one and if I had to choose, one of Ishida’s greatest sins here. It’s quite unusual in mangas like these to have any sort of representation for such things in and of itself, and yeah of course that annoys me, but having no represntation at all is like so much better than getting actively harmful representation. Most manga that aren’t specifically about those things shy away from those topics, and it’s tiring but it’s normal. You wouldn’t want a mangaka to try to write about something like that without experience or informed opinions. So I say if you can’t write something correct, just don’t write something like that in at all. Ishida clearly,,, does not get this.

And it’s not just the case of Mutsuki, who, well, gets it bad enough, there are three full fucking trans characters Ishida made like, just to shit on. 

Big Madame- god, made like that specifically to perpetuate the predatory trans woman trope jesus christ is Ishida friends with JK fuckface Rowling. Ah yes the ugly, human trafficking, predatory, pedophilic killer that tried to make their male child more feminine? Has a dick. Really? Could you be a single bit more transparent about your fucking agenda here? I really don’t have to say much here.

Kanae von Fuckwald- Technically Ishida says here that basically this bitch was just like??? Pretending to be a guy for years just to what?? I don’t even know?? Get together with Tsukiyama? Cause he’s fucking gay or something? I don’t even get it but like i read this post yesterday and that’s a whole ass thermian argument. It’s like “oh well this is fine because well this person’s not actually trans and therefore the representation thing doesn’t apply”... it’s useless. You created the character that way and you made it intentionally to for whatever way promote this idea that people would “pretend” to be a different gender and that eventually they’ll realize that it’s a “lie” and they never really wanted it. This is what you’re saying about the real people who are,,, actually trans? Jesus christ. Also thinking that a twink like that would be trans? God yeah trans guys can be feminine but buddy that’s clearly not what you’re going for here.

And of course, Mutsuki- There’s just... so much wrong here. I mean like. Before we even get into anything about his character and what they did to him let me just discuss his entire design. Buddy like if you had to choose one person in that show to be trans that’s the least likely one. Ah yes, the feminine one. With the androgynous haircut and the shy disposition and the physical weakness compared to the others. God that’s like, a fujoshi’s take on ao3 of what character should be trans. As much as yeah of course, trans guys can be feminine, they are in no way obligated to be such and you shouldn’t make them more so to be more “believably” so. Ask any actual trans person ever. A character like that is just perpetuating the notion of trans guys being inherently more feminine or trying to pretend to be otherwise.ThEn, of course, there’s the ridiculous sexualization, infantilization and fetishization of this character, going through a thousand plot hurdles to make him constantly stripped, put in girls clothing, chased by perverts, assaulted, ET FUCKING CETERA. Give him a fUCKING BREAK. Creating this character the way he’s portrayed in canon (including so called backstory of murdering parents because of sexual and physical abuse) is perpetuating a notion that someone would be a trans guy because of internalized misogyny and/or trauma instead of because they’re just... a guy. It’s just it’s just it’s just Really bad. Plus taking his character, demonizing him and making him like, supposedly love haise (which i Really hate for a thousand reasons, god that’s like, a parent and child type relationship they have there not romantic,,, god,,,) try to like fucking murder touka and stop seeing sense, and then just... return him to being infantalized. God. Jesus christ fucking goddamn it I love Mutsuki and he deserves better.

Oh yeah and then the homophobia, this one’s smaller because... most of the trans people are here to go “it’s gay... wait it’s not Really gay so it’s ok” but I would like to leave a small note here for all the gay characters who got thrown under the bus not just in re but in the original, like, you know, Nico and shit? I really do not know shit about Nico but all the things about Jason? God if I had a thing for one person that you shouldn’t try to portray as representation it’s Jason. IDK what’s up with him and Naki but god it wasn’t healthy. (i’d like to say here that i love naki and i think naki deserves the world but honey there are better heroes than yamori) Anyway yeah I think that’s also bullshit and Ishida should stay in his fucking lane. (or her i guess, i just feel like it’s probably a guy bc of just... so much sexism)

Ok, now that we have the big one out of the way-

2. The mishandling of portrayals of various mental illnesses:

I’m not an expert on this one like I can say about the gays TM but just like in general, the whole manga’s very messy and portrays a lot of gritty stuff, and Ishida clearly attempts to throw in some mental illness for fun, but god fUcking damn it they’re bad. I couldn’t really even give you examples bc it’s pretty widespread and i’m stupid, but it was really like trump throwing paper towels “and you get a demonization, and you get an infantalization, and you get a butchered character, and you get a fetishization-”

3. Ishida having no fucking clue how science works

This particular factoid led me to have a very hard time reading this manga because it went from being about like, yknow, torture and fights and crying and stuff to weird experimentation bullshit and mutated whatever and everyone’s a hybrid now I guess. When I heard this thing about the quinxes, I thought that made no sense, because I was like “yeah but wait,,, how tf does that work didn’t Ishida say earlier that kagune literally were fueled by human meat isn’t that like the entire point the ccg is against?” and then Ishida’s explanation of how they’re not just exactly like Kaneki is that “oh yeah well there’s like, metal around it, so it’s different.” OH YEAH OK THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE NOW, THANKS.

The thing is... there’s no way of actually regulating that. You couldn’t move a kagune unless it was attached to your cells, and if it’s attached man, it’s attached and it’s part of you. Also yelling “frame two” won’t like make it any bigger lmao, either you’re gonna have it based on theoretical science in this universe or you’re going to have a dumb supernatural magic pokemon fight deal. The whole thing makes no sense. The science issue isn’t just about this either, it’s also about how the entire thing basically undermines the point of the whole story. When you blur the lines between human and ghoul with little to no real rules or basis in real science, every rule kind of just becomes cheap plot convenience.

So the Quinxes can eat human food unless they use their kagune too much, alright, but Kaneki couldn’t eat human food before he’d even ever used his though the only difference between their bodies was this,,, theoretical metal thing?? And Haise... was never really covered, before he went black hair emo bastard and like vored Eto, did he eat human food like the rest of the CCG? He certainly cooked it. And the squad that lived with him wasn’t aware he was a ghoul until he pulled out the kagune. So I’d assume so, but then how could he have a kagune, how could he survive when his body still was like that?

Is it the RC suppressents? Then couldn’t he just have taken those and lived as a human the entire time? Is that all he fucking needed, is that the only difference between human and ghoul? It doesn’t make sense and the rules are bent so much they don’t function anymore. Ishida like write down your rules somewhere even if they’re bullshit, they shouldn’t contradict each other.

Damn man I’m not even going to go into the dumbass rules of the half humans or the special fast aging thing or the fucking,,, folded up cells deal,,, or the Imagination Kagune, or the fucking,,, Dragon, or the zombie ghoul apocalypse or the “whole new species made of just kagune” i don’t even have the time it is fucking ridiculous and I can’t even with it. Physics. Laws of physics. If not biology, at least follow physics Ishida??? Please???? And if you’re not you need to do that consistently??

4. character glow ups actually being character glow downs 

(with the exception of nishiki, he baby now, and akira, i think her development was valid af)

God, this one gets me every time. Touka was cool. Touka was fucking badass, she had a complex character with many motivations and wants, and in the original having her eventually kind of soften bc of Kaneki is valid. But taking her and turning her into like literally nothing but Pretty Housewife Yearning For Husband At War? God, kill me. She’s a strong person. She can like Kaneki without the guy being her only character trait. Also uh, Touka and Kaneki being a couple was valid before this change, now I honestly can’t stomach it. Like they were the kind of “both bisexual” m/f couple that we stan. No longer I guess.

She’s the most egregious example, but I’d also like to point out Juuzou, not everything they changed about him is bad, honestly we fucking stan his knife legs, but he’s kind of like a rip off L now? You got rid of his ~unhinged~, we do not stan. I’m on the fence about him bc i think that kind of is a valid transition to adulthood and I guess he’s grown up, but again, why change his fucking hair color? What is the explanation for this?

Also Hinami. I mean, I don’t really care about her a lot in general, but it’s weird to see her as like an adult when Ayato emo boy looks like exactly the fucking same and they’re like,,, supposedly the same age. 

There are definitely more I’m missing here. Honestly, Hide was valid. God him with his fucking burlap sack. With a fucking lenny face on it. I can’t with him. That’s so Hide. But there were some bad ones.

5. one hair color change was my limit, enough said

black white black and white black white more white god bitch get some variety

6. Showing me great new characters and then promptly ruining them

And you can tell this one’s about quinx squad, my favorite bastard children. God, I love them. They’re the only good things about Re other than Hide and Haise and like everything else, Ishida took them and went “what if i *guts*” god why. I love these kids with all my heart. Why. Why. Why did you do that to Mutsuki. Why as soon as Haise isn’t in the room they all get themselves tangled up with pedos. Why they gotta break up the squad. Why make all of them lose all the wholesomeness and lessons they learned from Haise. Why do you ruin them all with weird unreciprocated random crushes on each other when they’re like basically siblings. Why fuckinG KILL SHIRAZU HE IS THE APPOINTED CHIEF DUMBASS OF THE SQUAD WHY HIM. WHY. WITH SO LITTLE IMPACT. YOU COULD FUCKING MISS IT SO EASILY. THAT’S NOT RIGHT. AND KANEKI JUST FUCKING ABANDONS THEM BC HE HAS HIS MEMORIES AGAIN N O ? NO ACTUALLY NO.

7. the casual racism and sexism :)

i just :) can you stop having girls constantly bring themselves down for being female :) and making them be oversexualized, less full characters :) always in some way connected to a guy :) more weak and hurt more often :) my fucking god :) also yeah it’s way less prevalent but there were a few racist caricatures thrown in there for taste if you don’t know how to draw lips just don’t

8. Ishida being too much of a pissbaby for a real death scene

Basically: undermining the impact of “deaths” fom the first series while also randomly and badly killing off new characters. Oh that character that died in the original in a really cinematic way that made you cry and think about the meaning of life and how beautifully tragic this story was? Oh lol they’re not Actually dead. (x10) Doing that with Hide (at least in the manga, not the anime, god root A really did it with him but we’re not talking about that) was valid, seeing as I love him your honor and in the manga one of the lessons that his character hinges on was like in chapter 75 to live on instead of giving up even if it hurts and all that... (this is obviously kind of the opposite from root A where his character was like more about sacrificing for kaneki since kaneki had already done so much, i think both are valid but we’re Talking About The Manga) he was done well. That was right (even though i think they should have done More of it) but there were so many characters this kind of thing was done to without the proper adjustment in the handling of the messages given here. 

Like with Koma and Irimi, who,,, honestly should have stayed dead because their entire character arc kinda ended there and showed how they were sorry for their actions and this was how they were making it up. And then they just like... come back. And fight more. Really? This wasn’t the only instance either, same deal with Shinohara (though him coming back made me cry) it like, kind of undermines it if you’re going to have Juuzou derive his character development from that. Either Juuzou gets to keep his unhinged and his dad, or he loses his dad for real and he also grows up. God guys choose. What’s the message you’re playing here. (at least they kept Yoshimura dead, his death made me cry and I would have stabbed something if it wasn’t real, probably Ishida.) And even with Kaneki himself, god, if he can’t die from being stabbed straight through the fucking eye, what COULD kill him? It really diminishes the anxiety you feel about “omg is this person gonna die i want them to be ok” if they basically evade the laws of physics and their own previous character arcs 70 times. I’m definitely forgetting more of the same, Ishida can’t write a good death, he needed the anime writers to do it for him.

9. Kaneki. Just. Kaneki. 

God they fucking butchered this man. I could go on about his character is weird and confusing in the manga from the beginning, but we’re focusing on mostly all his weird :re character development, the bad handling of Haise and his memories, and all his iterations.

Before I read :re, what I could glean from fanart and the occasional fic that wasn’t tagged properly was really confusing and kind of a mixed bag. I knew Haise was Kaneki but without his memories, now in the ccg trying to be a pacifist and going :DDDDD a lot yknow. And what I came up with in my own mind for that change was a deal of (this makes more sense with the anime canon tbh, the manga honestly doesn’t do any of this well) like Kaneki after The Shit Went Down With Hide (whichever canon you’d like to interpret that as) he basically realized that he really couldn’t be a ghoul, he didn’t want to be, he didn’t want to hurt people and he wanted to be happy and make other people happy instead of what he thought was right before (trying to fight to protect others on his own etc) because that mentality had gotten people he loved hurt, and well subconsciously I guess that kind of factored into his development into Haise and maybe caused his memory loss (along with the, yknow, shanked eye.) So when I started to read it that kind of checked out, this is what he’s trying so hard to be now. But then this whole bullshit of the whole other like, 37 different versions of kaneki complicated things. 

Haise was scared that when he got his memories back he would cease to be, well, Haise, and he would just like revert back to what he was before everything. Which I can understand him being scared of and I think was a good point in the plot for him to worry about that, but I was like “oh honey don’t worry that’s not how it works” and was kind of vying for him to eventually get his memories back, come to terms with the fact that those were his memories, he did do those things, he was half a ghoul, and maybe come back to his original fight of wanting to bring the humans and ghouls together, still caring about his human people in the ccg and all. That development was real, and it wouldn’t just go away if he got his memories back, he learned a lot and grew a lot and he has a different outlook on life now. Right?

Fucking wrong I guess. Dude gets his memories back (very ambiguously, it was really hard to tell when that even happened tbh) and like. Turns into a flaming ass looking like ebony darkness dementia raven way. Haise gone. Fucking completely. No trace left. Doesn’t care about his kids anymore. When he’s done with that and goes white again he’s just Kaneki again and there’s really not enough left of things that like, really wouldn’t go away? He loses the flair? The dumbass? The :D? The Extra? WHY? Why would those things go away? Haise shouldn’t have been right that he would disappear when he got back his memories. That killed me. I love Kaneki and all but H a i s e. He is my b o y. H i m. With his e n e r g y  s h o r t s. And his m o m. And his c o o k i n g. And his k i d s, I l o v e him. And Ishida doesn’t seem to realize that they’re... literally the same person. Haise isn’t just some stupid bastard occupying Kaneki’s body, he’s a valid part of Kaneki himself and to be honest, peak Kaneki. Should have stayed that way. Would have been great for Hide tbh. Not just having him pretty much revert to his old self, but basically respond equally to both names and balance the world between human and ghoul. I would have loved that. What happened for real? It doesn’t make sense and it breaks my heart.

Some people on the interwebz try to kind of even that whole deal out by trying to say he like, has DID, which although is obviously a valid thing, like, so does not apply to him. God I’m like so not an expert on this but I feel like it’s not that hard to tell. His 87 little Kanekis in his head aren’t separate personas, they’re metaphorical representations of his past morals, experiences, and ideologies that all conflict. Again Haise here is peak conflict because when he gets his memories back, he has all these different conflicting ideas that were all previously separate. They’re all him. Tortured Kaneki constantly yelling at him in Jason’s chamber is basically again, a metaphor for how he’s denying his ghoulhood and the trauma that he’s been dealt. It’s not that this dude still exists just the way he is ready to show up at any moment lmao. Ishida kind of dealt with that badly too because Haise really said

after his memories happened so I can see why people might, but it’s... not right, and it’s Ishida’s fault about that which is Incorrect

Also just blanket statement, black reaper Kaneki? Fuck him and all he stands for. 0% valid. I can excuse literally every other version of him. But wh y. God he leaves the room and Urie starts misusing his power and getting groomed by a pedo, Saiko is just, left behind and sad, Mutsuki gets captured by a perv and mentally destroyed again, Shirazu dies and the bitch is like like “lol it’s your fault” yeah helpful, die

10. P- the- the porn chapter-

Idk about you but that was so fucking unecessary??? Not even going off of how terribly awkward and weird it was to have it there when the opening was “i’m sad about my best friend who’s gonna get executed what do you do when you’re sad about your best friend” “i simply do not think of him or i might actually just curl up and die” “yo lmao same” “wanna fuck” Like ok um I’m biased bc i’m not straight but I like, really hated that. Even just flipping through the pages as fast as I could to get to the end of it like. God. It’s not a fucking hentai. I’m here for the plot. If you’re not gonna release the director’s cut of kaneki fucking voring hide, i don’t think i need to see 20 pages of straight fucking sex. And if you absolutely must have porn, kaneki is a fucking bottom. That man gets pegged do not try to prove otherwise. You started it out that way god I love how they’re like “oh god wait that looks kind of gay, the woman being dominant, better stop that right now” god Ishida not having a single iota of knowlege about his own characters aND THEN SHE GETS PREGNANT? NO. Excuse me. No. I just. I. Why. This isn’t. A fucking porno. This isn’t tentacle porn i swear oh my god kill me

11. Giving the wrong characters attention

Basically, redeeming characters that should have been redeemed and not going into/discussing characters that should have been redeemed/had more backstory. For example, Tsukiyama can go fucking die. I like, do not even care rich boy. I don’t understand how anyone could think he needed to be redeemed he’s just a gay attention whore who really needs to let this kid get on with his merry fucking life. I don’t care. I literally did not need to read three whole books about his dumbass hangup over eating Kaneki. Kaneki doesn’t fucking want you bitch move on. He didn’t need to be redeemed or seen to be in any way sympathetic, no one wanted it. Same with that bitch ass Furuta, he wasn’t really redeemed but he was given w a y too much time to play out his sob story. God man Rize doesn’t fucking want you. These gross ass simps. I swear.

On the other hand, I kind of liked Eto even though she’s a pile of shit, and I got mad when they didn’t really go into much about her. And you know who could have gotten much more screen time/development? TOUKA. God, I love her and she was just sitting around in the background being straight. Let her have some spicy development. Also obviously, Hide. He was... so underappreciated and underexplained? What happened with him? He didn’t just pick himself off the ground in the sewers and go ‘well i’d better get back to the ccg now’ we have a whole two years which are completely unexplained, most of which he was off mysteriously being involved in things but completely missing the eye of Haise and other major players. Where tf was he? How did he get around? What was he even doing??? I wanna know about that! Not all the characters I hate’s tragic backstories that make me feel 0% more sympathetic towards them :)

12. ARE WE ALL JUST GONNA COLLECTIVELY IGNORE THE WHOLE VORE THING???

Ok like i know i say “the entire reason I read :re was __” but like to be honest this was the turning point, I saw pictures of hide’s vore face and went like

So I was like “god fucking damn it ok, Ishida would you care to explain this to me” *cracks open re*

And then they DIDN’T.

Like. It’s actually laughable how much that entire situation was just glossed over. They gave that maybe like two pages. Like what. I. This manga has more sex scene than no homoing that. They just don’t even bother to. I feel like Ishida had that as a plot point but realized halfway in how it looked (i.e., really fucking gay) and decided that was something that he was just gonna, not deal with. Just act like that’s a completely normal heterosexual bro thing to do. Like of course anywhere would be pretty gay but Kaneki chose his face. His face. Like his face and his wholeass neck and his shoulders and nowhere else. (and assumedly like, his tongue, seeing as how the dude can’t talk... bruh) Dude really said extreme hickey. French kiss to the max. Ishida clearly did realize that generally, you can only get a bitten off face by,,, having your face bitten off, which is just inherently really fucking gay. Like, I’m just at a loss as to how it even makes sense. You wouldn’t think that the skin off his face, and specifically around his mouth, would really be the most nutritious thing to consume? I can get like the shoulders but generally you’d think something like his arm or leg would be 1.less inconvenient, and 2.much more logical and nutritious? But NO, Kaneki was like “you know what i’m gonna do? eat your Face” and hide’s like “lmao sounds cool”

(not to mention, wasn’t there another guy with a vore face somewhere? like that old guy in the ccg with the bigass turtleneck, i wanna know about him) But like... my bro Ishida went “yeah this happened but i’m going to cover it up with speech bubbles and the ends of panels guys they clearly had their socks on” Dude didn’t even TRY to explain otherwise. Like hey man, that’s pretty damn gay, you are kind of at liberty to either tell me why otherwise, or accept those implications and acknowledge them?? It’s really hilarious when you ignore it cause it’s like

kind of

pretty damn

WEAK of you to leave it at that fucking pissbaby

hmmmmmmmmm however could this happen i guess we’ll never know

13. What the fuck was even the plot omg

God I’ve been writing this post for like five hours so like, I’ll keep it short but like it made sense in the original, not to be like an anime fan but the anime made fucking sense (not re i mean like the original) this lore is so fucking stupid god, the horrors of the entire fucking dragon arc bleach my eyes, unresolved plotlines who???? (the whole ‘oh yeah also ur dying of old age’ thing etc, is kaneki like??? still doing that?? or was that randomly resolved with the whole spewing ovary bullshit i’m going to fucking kill myself) and to top it off, good job Ishida at a real fucking cheap ending. 

You gave them. Fake human. Really? They just come up with artificial human at the end. Kind of undermines the entire fucking story my guy. Ah yes throw out our whole plot. That was the whole tragedy. You gotta eat human. The ghouls have to eat human and that’s tragic bc they have to kill people or whatever. Or i guess they fucking don’t well fucking ok. God you could have just had them negotiate a kind of peace where the ghouls can get dead humans and such, there are plenty of them and no one has to kill anyone then, there could be a rule system for it, it would be messy but eventually everyone would be ok with it, and I think that would work a lot better than “quick fix i made some hamburger helper human you can eat it fine” guys wtf. It’s like Ishida started plotting out the ending for re approximately 2 hours before his deadline. Anyway yes I hate re and I love yelling about it thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul re #essay post #god just fucking kill me #rowan's hyperfixation essays

[mghtynana]

Dirk Gently and the search for the holy sleep.

(So, yeah, the worst scenario possible has arrived and I’m writing again. This is my first brotzly-ish fic bc i’m a sucker for whump!dirk and soft bf!todd (bf as best friend or boyfriend, who knows). It takes places just right after 2x03. Be aware: english isn’t my first language, so… yeah, sorry about any possible mistakes, i’ve tried my best. (Pd: i have a very unhealthy relationship with brackets, sorry about that too)).

[You can also read it on AO3]

 Ah, sleep, what a wayward thing. Wayward and fanciful, because Dirk is starting to think it doesn’t exist such a thing called “sleeping”, and it’s only a tale people tell other people, a mythical entity such as unicorns, witches and pretty pink-haired princes. 

 Or maybe sleep doesn’t like him anymore. Maybe it is avoiding him because, somehow, he’s ruined its life too.

Be as it is, Dirk can’t sleep. Again. He’s left wide awake in what it must already be the middle of the night, the pale and weak light from outside the police station being the only thing breaking the almost suffocating darkness that reigns the cell. 

Opening his eyes (because doesn’t matter how hard he tries to trick the sleep by closing them hard), Dirk sighs and lays on his back. He stares at the rusty screws and springs of the top bunk, where Todd is sleeping (see, sleep is very clever, it likes Todd more, and well, here they have something in common: he also likes Todd (a lot)), and then he has a somewhat feel of deja vu, his new clothes being only thing different from his previous sleepless night. 

 Tonight is the second night since he’s escaped Blackwing and the second one he’s incapable of doing something as easy as sleep. 

 Truth to be told, the quality of his nappings at Blackwing HQ wasn’t ideal, all his nights plagued with false hopeful dreams and ugly nightmares inside the own nightmare his real life had become; or more accurately, re-become. But at least he could snooze for a bunch of hours, most of the days succumbing into the land of dreams due to pure tiredness (being wrong all the time on the awful experiments and test they put him through was exhausting).

 It seems like that is not enough now, though. This night he’s exhausted too. All of him is exhausted, in more than one sense. His back hurts there where he went through that bloody doghouse, and every single one of his muscles seems to fight him, rancorous, uncooperative on the task of relaxing. His head hurt too, not so much for being used as a rag doll by a zombie caveman, but for his even more painful thoughts.  

 Dirk can feel them, almost as physical as a bruise, bouncing and hitting the walls of his skull, mixing and spinning without any pause, chaotically, creeping and scratching at every inch of his mind. Last night, they were infested by the words “medication” and “paralibulitis”, by the image of a spidery web, a web that represented the universe in its purest, cruelest state, the same web he’s always been trapped into (and where he’ll always be); but, now, the people he loves the most were tangled too, suffering and awaiting slowly, agonically, until it devours them all. And, on top of all that, there was a stain, a burning wave that tainted everything, that made him felt like drowning:  guilt (because of course, of course, it was all his fault). 

 Those thoughts haven’t disappeared, following him like a shadow even at daylight, but tonight, on top on them, more thoughts share his mind, thoughts about the pink haired Prince and that awful prophecy. Yeah, sure, apparently a whole kingdom depended on him and his ability to find a mysterious boy. Great. 

 He turns around again on his bunk, frustrated, closing his eyes and opening them just a few seconds later. He stares at the grey wall and his frown deepens. At least Sheriff Hobbs was considered enough to let them sleep in the farthest cell from that bloody murderous woman and the proclaimed prince. If Dirk had to sleep (fake sleep? try to sleep) near them, he’d end having a nervous breakdown.  

 Little noise can be heard, some crickets on the outside and the deep breathings of his incarcerated companions. Dirk is the only awake one and, suddenly, that makes him feel so alone. He hugs the thin pillow and closes his eyes, hard, this time not in search of sleep, but in an attempt of containing the stinging tears that threaten to fall from them.  He feels again like the little child, scared and lost, and for fuck sakes, he hated being that little child. He even sniffles quietly like one, a trembling shaking his whole body. He can’t cope anymore, everything should be alright, he almost had everything he wanted (a detective agency, a family) at the tips of his fingers and then the universe slapped him right on the face… he’s so tired of all this… ok, so he’s having a breakdown anyway, awesome.

 Unexpectedly, in the middle of the sad mess he’s turned into, something touches his shoulder, and Dirk flinches and bolts into a sitting position so fast he almost knocks his head with the top bunk.

“Hey, hey, it’s me”, a soft whisper comes from a cut-out silhouette crouched over his bed. Dirk tries to convince himself that the reason why he takes almost ten seconds to recognize Todd relies on the darkened room and not because of the  tears that cover his eyes.

“Todd!”, Dirk exclaims, and then modulates his voice volume, lowing it, his arms crushing the poor pillow in a terrified grip, “Todd, what… mmm, what are you…? You shouldn’t be awake, tomorrow we have a lot of things to do and you’ll need to rest because…”

“Yes, I…” Todd stops him, then keeps silence for a moment, his hand (the one which almost gives Dirk a heart attack) half way extended in an awkward position, “I was asleep, but I’ve heard you, you know…” he makes a vague movement, “ and you were trembling so hard the bunk was shaking a little… so…”

“So I have woken you up” finishes Dirk, and yep, that’s it, the last string. Hello, tears, now you are free! He curls into himself, his knees against his chest and his face against the pillow, because now he’s not just sniffling but sobbing for real and he doesn’t want Todd to see how much a crybaby he is. “I’m sorry. Oh, god, I’m so so sorry.”

He keeps muttering shaky, dull sorrys, until he doesn’t know for sure what he’s apologizing for anymore. At one point, Todd sits by his side, the mattress creaking and sinking. The hand returns to his shoulder, careful, like it’s approaching a frightened wild animal, and it’s warm, and steady, and Todd’s and then it rubs small, soothing circles in his back, with such care Dirk feels like crying even harder.

“Hey, it’s okay”, Todd keeps his voice low, but his tone is firm, and Dirk knows Todd knows he’s not apologizing for waking him. “It’s okay, Dirk". 

“No, it’s not.” he manages to say, his quivering words muffled by the pillow. “Everything is not okay. D-definitely not okay. And it is going to get worse, not better, and I don’t know how… all of this…” It is too much. 

“Okay, lay down.”

The hand disappears from his back abruptly, the lost making him whimper, and he feels Todd moving until he’s the one laying down. Dirk is so surprised and confused that he lows the pillow, resurfacing just a bit, his redded, wet eyes darkening beneath a crumpled frown.  

"W-what?" 

Todd taps the white-ish sheets next to him, a little space between his body and the wall.

“Lay down. Here. C’mon, I don’t bite.”

Dirk hesitates, his cheeks colouring a bit at the idea of laying beside Todd on the same bed. Todd sighs and rises a little on his elbows. Dirk couldn’t be sure, but he swears Todd seems a little nervous. 

"When Amanda was little and get scared by nightmares, she came to my room. She’d scooped into my bed and we laid next to each other and I helped her calm down.”

 Todd face goes all soft while speaking and Dirk can’t help but be amazed by him: the way he loves Amanda, so deep, so loyal and strongly, was always something he admired a lot. And, well, yeah, ok, he also wished someone loved him that fiercely. However, he’s not sure anymore it’s wise for someone to love him, seeing what the universe makes to them…

"I-I’m not little. And I’m not scared.” says Dirk, though, in a very childish voice.

 And then Todd smiles again, the Dirk’s smile, that one between amusement and annoyance, all soft at the corners, the one that makes the detective melt and his stomach ache with butterflies. 

“Of course you’re not. Now, lay down”. 

 Dirk hesitates but finally complied, adjusting his long frame at the narrow space. He holds his breath when Todd turns to look at him (they are so close, so close!), his hands carefully extracting the poor strangled pillow from his arms just before returning to his shoulder. “Now focus on my breathing. C’mon, in and… out.” Dirk tries, his eyes wandering nervously, and his hand still shaking.

“I-I can’t.”

“Shh, try”, and that it is, that word, “try”, the same word used by Friedkin at Blackwing, but this time it sounds different: not harsh, not demanding, but reassuring. So he tries, closing his eyes at the same time Todd starts humming a tune Dirk doesn’t recognize, but that he feels thrumming through his bones, lulling him.  And then, slowly, his still shaky breaths become calmer, his eyes still sore but no longer tearful.  Seconds turn into minutes, and bit by bit Dirk quietens down, the agonizing oppression on his chest, the fear and the hopeless feeling  dissolving  a little.

“See, better?” Dirk nods a little, opening his eyes just to be meet by Todd smile and by his blue eyes shining proudly (of himself but also of him) in the dark, and, lord, Dirk is so, so in love. “If it helped Amanda overcome her fear with the fairy tooth, it can help anyone.” he jokes, but then frowns a little, the corner of his mouth lowering when he realizes he’s just revealed one of those embarrassing secrets only siblings know, “Although… please, don’t tell her I told you about that fear or she’ll kick my ass.” 

Dirk promise, a grin in his voice. 

 They lay like this, in silence, for quite long time: Dirk breathing slowly, his hands wrapped beneath his chin and his eyelids open enough to carefully mapping Todd face between the eyelashes; Todd’s hand still touching him, although it has fall a little from the shoulder and now his thumb is petting unwittingly Dirk’s neck (and that definitely isn’t making Dirk insides go all warm and flutter-y); the humming lower than before, now that he seems to be dozing off.

“I…” Dirk whispers with a such a small voice it’s almost inaudible, not sure if Todd is already asleep. But now he feels safe, safer than he remembers, and vulnerable but in the right way, and he really needs to say it out loud. “I don’t know if I can do it. You know…the prophecy, the case, find the boy. Find… find Amanda”.

Todd’s eyes don’t open, but he moves closer, his arm now circling Dirk in a loose, protective hug.

“We’ll figure it. Together.” his voice is almost a mumble, but it sounds so sincere and determined that Dirk’s fears and intrusive thoughts about guilt, and failure, and loneliness and prophecies and the universe’s web recoil, at least for tonight. “Now, sleep.”

Dirk smiles and, finally, sleeps.

#dghda2 #dghda #dghda fic #dirk gently #todd brotzman #brotzly #ok so here it is #ive spent like 4 hours writing this and im not even kidding #todd is the sweetest bf #fuck you universe #my ficlet #my tag

[severalbakuras]

and now let’s finish season 4!

long post warning!

episode four:

i’m telling you i just don’t trust those nier-qiraji looking spire temple things. if they’re trying to spin this as the heartland of all good things it’s not working it just looks eerie. doesn’t help that there’s not a lot of aliens running around doing normal living stuff so it looks dead too.

god there sure is a lot of interesting action happening off-screen thanks for the info firo. sure is a lot of planets keith’s helping to liberate that y’all apparently aren’t because of ~parades~

i’m getting the feeling this episode won’t have anything actually mattering happening so there’s a non-zero chance i’ll end up skipping.

ok yeah jumping around there’s a dude bitching about them not being there on time and ice skating and then “~lover boy lance~!” and there’s no action scenes or cuts to the real zarkon or anything so i don’t think i’m going to miss much skipping this one lol

might watch it for real some other time i do like coran and his coranigans but his comic moments are best in small doses rather than like the entire episode imo.

episode five:

didn’t they already have a map before?

ok so i was under the apparent mistaken impression that the galra had conquered a shitload of the universe, not a couple of galaxies. noice i can use this for the warcraft au to explain how the galra never ran into sargeras, the legion or the draenei. (that will likely never be more than scattered hcs lol).

matt’s in the furry squad i see. i’m gonna say... fox, or perhaps squirrel.

lotor’s leggy looking ships made me laugh idk why.

snippy lotor.

oooh dissension in the ranks acxa.

SHAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!

i can’t believe allura’s got a :I face on talking to Best Girl.

is that it for shay aww...

lotor i feel like you not explaining shit to your generals, while understandable given what happened with narti, is probably going to bite you in the ass like do you not trust them enough to know what’s going on or what.

related did you explain narti bc if you did it didn’t sound like you explained it to ezor very well before.

uh maybe stay away from the death planet of death?????

who’s this secret team?

lotor if you know enough about honerva’s experiments re quintessence that that’s what happened then you know what quintessence does to people who fuck with it.

if he crosses this barrier he’s gonna hit the hell-dimension where the voltron materia came from but he’s also going to hit the shit that killed daibazaal AND his parents. lotor. lotor are you sure about this.

iF ZETHRID GETS EATEN BY THE HELL-DIMENSION I SWEAR TO GOD LOTOR.

i can’t tell if that thing drifting off-screen is his ship or a bit of debris, it’s the only other thing moving in the shot but its colours are off.

but like it’s annoying enough with firo around i don’t need to worry about notor and zethraint coming back to acxa and ezor tyvm.

hey it’s those two! uh, three.

SHAAAAAAAAY

FUCK YEAH HUNK GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO

ok maybe hunk would survive LFR after all.

is that our first lady galra in charge of one of these things? i love her.

holy shit that wasn’t the voice i expected to come out of the dog-person. i swear to god they sounded just like dub honey in ouran.

there goes furry squad i guess.

that knifework keith!!!

that was a very visceral death squish noise, ick.

dropping the charred remains of the enemy ship on the enemy is a+ psychological warfare.

oh god those poor three galra. a normal day and then voltron lands on theHE FUCKING HOPS AWAY... I LOVE HIM...

oh fuck you show you skip the transformation, make them defuse and then immediately make them transform again AND IT’S THE FULL SEQUENCE.

this music’s surprisingly melancholic, i guess lotor’s more sad then mad his plan failed again.

see lotor i told you this would bite you in the ass.

wow the fps dropped like crazy for her walking animation was that meant to be viewed from further away than it was?

FOR NARTI OOOOOOOOH YOU FUCKED UP LOTOR this is why you explain things like ‘why i sliced our friend in half and left her cat behind’.

i like the shot of his eyes it’s like ‘god dammit really?!’

oh nice they captured galra lady alive.

zethrid actually seems kinda sad about this and so does loTOWHAT THE FUCK LOTOR!!!!!!!!

YOU PUT ZETHRID SOMEWHERE SAFE RIGHT NOW I SWEAR!!!

oh thank god.

are they gonna join the rebellion??? or just try and harvest the super quintessence on their own?

did the druids always slide around like they’ve all got heelies under those robes?

uh oh haggar had a cunning plan. this whole ‘never explaining shit to your allies’ gene is from both sides of the family i see.

episode six:

‘a new defender’ so we’re probably getting a new semi-permanent character on the squad for the next season noice.

MACROSS LASERS

another lady galra!!! she reminds me of toriel for some reason i think it’s the ear growths. feels like there’s a lot more variation on the appearances of the galra and the aliens in general this season i approve.

i wonder what keith’s mother looks/looked like.

oh so no wonder haggar is confident, zarkon’s off doing something entirely unrelated.

lotor how are you even moving your arms right now i know a guy who dislocated his shoulder. that shit hurts and keeps on hurting.

damn that’s depressing he’s just entirely alone in space. he doesn’t even have the comfort that firo did of having people to search for and people who’d care enough to try and find him for good reasons. he’s just hounded like an animal.

what is that... mass on cyberkon’s back? like there’s got to be something underneath that plating it can’t just be his neck orb. it’s giving me vibes like the thing in Inside  i don’t like it.

ok as much as i laugh at his leggie space ship lotor does manage to make it look damn graceful.

holy shit the texture on the sun. you know you’ve got a good lava/very hot thing texture if it makes you wanna stick your hand in just like with real lava.

i wonder if haggar’s magic is corrupted altean magic or something she’s learned as a zombie. i wonder if lotor could pull off altean magic, or something close to it? magical boy lotor.

does naxzela have a world soul???

for a second there that sphere looked like one of the resurrection seeds from drakengard ending B. that would be the most fucked up AU.

is the planet actually a giant robot????

oh fuck so is it turning itself into a neutron star?

it’s a bomb oh ok.

ten solar systems from one planet jesus.

VICTORY OR DEATH SPACE ORCS CONFIRMED (again)

go keith!!

lotor are you going where i think you’re going...............

............... i don’t want to be hopeful i’m almost always wrong...............

aww lance!!! it seems like he’s real good at team stuff so long as he’s inside the lions. weird.

i really like the spacy dust background here.

aaaaa coran ;A;

keith what’s with that look.

keith what did you just say.

KEITH WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

NONONONONONONONONONOONONONONONONONONONONOONOONNOONONOON

LOTOR DID YOU JUST

LOTOR DID YOU JUST

ok so overall not the strongest season but it had its good moments even if i was salty for a while.

i’m more hype for season 5 than i was for this half of the season i will say.

(also keitor has been shuffled from ‘entirely crack’ to ‘they will probably meet face to face at some point’.)

(so naturally now it’s my Everything especially with my ot4 gone and zethura still being crack as all hell. maybe with this new season the content will be less old-school deathshipping and more millennial deathshipping)

#voltron #vld #sb watches voltron