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charlienozaki · 6 years

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Hi May i ask for you to rank the strawhats in terms of intelligence and alcohol tolerance? Thank you

Anon, you sent this like last weekend—I’m sorry I’m just getting to it now! 💀

Intelligence is kind of difficult to rank tbh, because we know the Straw Hats are all smart in their own special ways and pretty much geniuses/prodigies in their various areas of expertise. So I feel bad ranking intelligence when it comes in so many different forms. But I guess, if we’re talking like…book smarts/test score-wise, then it would go like this…(I’m gonna tack alcohol tolerance on too)….

1 - Robin. I mean the girl is scary knowledgable (emphasis on scary 😂) about most things in the world, so she’s gotta be number one.

Alcohol tolerance ranking: 3 (out of 10 Straw Hats). I’m puttin’ her pretty high. I think alcohol would affect her. I can see her getting kind of giggly and cute after a few drinks. But I think she’s super self-aware, so she wouldn’t show the effects as outwardly as some of the other crazies on the crew. She is a dignified goddess of darkness at all times.

2 - Chopper. Also scary smart when it comes to medical things. I was tempted to rank him lower though, because otherwise, he can be pretty naive. But ultimately, I’m not sure I would equate his sometimes childish behavior with being unintelligent. He’s still our lovable little nerd.

Alcohol tolerance: 9. HORRIBLE. And he’s underage! Keep this boy away from the booze. Holy hell.

3 - Nami. Arguably the most all-around sensible member of the crew, until money comes into play, but even then, she’s budgeting and managing shit constantly. Honestly I think she could easily be equal to or even switched with Chopper. I’m only gonna put her lower simply out of respect for Chopper’s studying efforts and dedication. Nami’s put a lot of time into her craft, of course, but she seems to be more of a natural talent to me.

Alcohol tolerance: 4. I think she can handle her liquor, but when it gets to her, BOY it gets to her. But only after a lot.

4 - Jinbe. I mean, Uncle Jinbe’s older so he knows his shit about the world, and he’s proven to be very tactically proficient. I wanna see him interact with the crew more….like how will he fit in during day-to-day life or when they’re all just goofing off during their adventures? I still think he’s intelligent, but I really wonder what kind of personality he’ll display once he’s a fully integrated member. It’s still kind of hard for me to imagine at this point, tbh.

Alcohol tolerance: 2. He’s a fish, but he’s hUge so I think his tolerance would be pretty high. Second to ONLY ONE…. (o_+);;; (gee, I wonder who…)

5 - Sanji. He’s a smart dude when he’s not being an IDIOT. But no, he can be a crafty bastard when he wants to be or when he’s not distracted in various ways. He is very emotionally driven though, so sometimes I feel like he doesn’t always make the smartest decisions, but he’s definitely aware of what those decisions are.

Alcohol tolerance: 8. SHIT TOLERANCE, at least in my mind. But he just strikes me as the type to fall apart after one wine. Especially when ladies are involved. Get him some water and send him to bed. Or just knock him out. For his own safety. 👋

6 - Usopp. Ugh, I feel bad ranking his intelligence this low because he’s NOT DUMB. He’s really brilliant and he certainly has some of the best common sense and self-preservation skills on the crew. But I think his intelligence is a little quirky and unconventional, so by traditional standards, others on the crew would be higher.

Alcohol tolerance: 7. I don’t think he could handle too many drinks before it sets him into his ultra cool manly mode and puffs up his bravado in silly ways. Keep him away from tall cliffs and make sure he remembers he can’t fly.

7 - Franky. Again, technically brilliant at his craft. Of course you need intelligence to build fucking ships and all the weaponry and machinery he designs. I think he definitely sees the world through that one lens though. If there’s a problem, his mind isn’t necessarily going to jump to the most straightforward or streamlined method of dealing with it. Oh, the fridge is broken? I’ll fix it, but how ‘bout I also mod it into a fighter jet that can walk on water and serve you breakfast in bed?…. There’s a time and a place, Franky. 😉

Alcohol tolerance: 5. Pretty good. But is that really alcohol in his mug? Methinks it is cola. 🤔

8 - Brook. “He’s not unintelligent!” I continue to scream as I justify ranking these last few so low…. But for real. He’s obviously got the life experience to trump all of his crewmates. No one could survive as he has if they didn’t have something going on in their brain—-except he doesn’t have one. Yohoho. I think his loyalty and emotional attachment to the crew and the comedic extremes of those emotions sometimes hinder any outward displays of intelligence we could get from him. So, compared to others, here he is, at number 8.

Alcohol tolerance: 6. Just prop him up at the piano when he gets too loud and obnoxious. Let him channel that energy into song. 🎶

9 - Zoro. Now this child really is dumb. That’s all I have to say about that. 😘 (Kidding, of course. I love him……………..but come on…)

Alcohol tolerance: 1. Heyo though, he’s the world’s greatest boozeman, so congrats on that!!!!! 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺

10 - Luffy. And our captain comes in DEAD LAST. Loof, you’re the best, but if thinking hurts you this much, then you just keep doing you and burst into shit without a plan. 🤷 It literally works more often than not.

Alcohol tolerance: 10. Also sticking him at DEAD LAST for this. I actually think it’s a rarity that he drinks. Give him meat and he’s good. This boy though….he’s a wild child every second of every day. If he did drink, would there be much of a difference? I can see him becoming a lot more wiggly, just limbs everywhere. Like those tube man things they have outside of car dealerships. Now there’s something Japan should get on tbh. Give me all the Straw Hats wobbling around outside of Tokyo Tower. I digress.

Anyway, there you have it. 😎

#ask #straw hat pirates #one piece #opinions

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