#look at me being productive mateys.

[detectivechandler]

✩ — 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒.

▸ IS YOUR MUSE TALL / SHORT / AVERAGE? at 6'2 he is considered 'tall' by most people's standards. ▸ ARE THEY OKAY WITH THEIR HEIGHT ? He is, yes. I think he would be a bit aware of the fact that it does (rather unfortunately, in his line of thinking) tend to sometimes draw attention his general way. I think in those instances where he'd rather float through something 'under the radar' so to speak, that particular consequence does bug him. but he is also aware that it is not just his height that calls attention from others and he's accepted that. ▸ WHAT’S THEIR HAIR LIKE? blonde. leans more toward thick rather than thin, medium in length and (if left alone and unstyled) can be a bit unruly. at work and other public places, he styles it perfectly. there's no other word to describe it. that professional side part is his pride and joy, leave him alone. ▸ DO THEY SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON THEIR HAIR / GROOMING? yes. seeing joe slightly disheveled and not 100% together is kind of like catching sight of a woman's ankles back in the day. scandalous ! he spends about 30-45 minutes on his hair every morning and checks up on it throughout the day. like i said .. pride and joy. back off. ▸ DOES YOUR MUSE CARE ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE / WHAT OTHERS THINK ? yes...and no. he definitely cares about his appearance. i think the way he presents himself (especially his clothing choices) acts as a sort of armor, even if he won't admit it. that sense of nothing can be out of place, i need to control everything before it all falls apart bleeds into how he carries himself and how he appears. He cares what others think in the sense that he wants to be well-groomed and he wants to appear capable (and professional in work settings) and powerful (i hesitate to use that word bc i feel like people are gonna take it differently than what i mean but my brain isnt working right now) and he does, on occasion, get self-conscious about certain people's opinions .. but at the end of the day, the way he dresses etc gives him confidence and he's not going to sacrifice that for the sake of opinions.

✩ — 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒.

▸ INDOORS OR OUTDOORS? indoors. ▸ RAIN OR SUNSHINE? overcast, but no rain.. ▸ FOREST OR BEACH? beach ▸ PRECIOUS METALS OR GEMS? gems. ▸ FLOWERS OR PERFUMES? perfumes ▸ PERSONALITY OR APPEARANCE? both. but appearance gets judged first. not from an 'are you attractive' standpoint, but more 'do you look like trash'. ▸ BEING ALONE OR BEING IN A CROWD? he would rather be alone. ▸ ORDER OR ANARCHY? absolute order. without a doubt. ▸ PAINFUL TRUTHS OR WHITE LIES? painful truths. ▸ SCIENCE OR MAGIC? science. he doesnt believe in magic. ▸ PEACE OR CONFLICT? peace. though he is aware conflict is what leads to growth and change. ▸ NIGHT OR DAY? day. ▸ DUSK OR DAWN? dawn. ▸ WARMTH OR COLD ? cold. ▸ MANY ACQUAINTANCES OR A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS? few close friends. ▸ READING OR PLAYING A GAME? reading.

✩ — 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐄.

▸ WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR MUSE’S BAD HABITS? he is very stand off-ish. he can be very critical (both of himself and others) and often jumps to judgments before having all of the facts. He is stubborn and has a tendency to ignore the ideas of other parties once he is 'certain' his answer is the right one.

▸ HAS YOUR MUSE LOST ANYONE CLOSE TO THEM? HOW HAS IT AFFECTED THEM? At the age of 32, he's lost a few people in his life but the one that affected him the most was his father's suicide at the age of ten. Finding him, trying to save him, the guilt that came with it, the questions that followed .. they left a mark on Joe''s psyche. While he can acknowledge that he has always had the tendencies associated with his obsessive-compulsive disorder, he easily pinpoints that particular event as the catalyst that set the more severe aspects into motion.

▸ WHAT ARE SOME FOND MEMORIES YOUR MUSE HAS? Growing up with Adam. Things were always a bit harder for Joe in the sense that he always seemed right on the edge of any social circles, but his brother always ensured he was included as much as he wanted to be. Some of his best memories are the nights one of them would climb into the other's bed and they'd whisper stories and jokes to each other, never acknowledging that either one of them were afraid. sometimes, when things get overwhelming and he feels like he's going to have a breakdown (we've all been there) he remembers those nights and remembers that his brother is only a phone call away if he truly needs him.

▸ IS IT EASY FOR YOUR MUSE TO KILL? absolutely not. he believes he caused his father death by certain inactions that left his father 'vulnerable', but other than that .. he has never taken a life.

▸ WHAT’S IT LIKE WHEN YOUR MUSE BREAKS DOWN? He's one of those, I'm about to lose it guys. He can get teary eyed but its not often out of sadness or despair, more anger and frustration..that feeling of helpless desperation. Joe has crafted the ability of 'keeping it together' like its an olympic sport and he's in the running for a gold medal, but when that facade breaks .. it can be very ugly and very messy. It takes a lot to get through to him after that point.

▸ IS YOUR MUSE CAPABLE OF TRUSTING SOMEONE WITH THEIR LIFE? yes. he could name 4 people off the top of his head who he knows without a doubt would keep him safe and alive. Six if you're counting people who would probably try their best.

▸ WHAT’S YOUR MUSE LIKE WHEN THEY’RE IN LOVE? very committed. vulnerable. loyal. romantic in a very old-fashioned way. self - sacrificing. dependable. one of those guys who texts good morning and good night at the same time every day as part of a routine but means every word of it. joe is his partner's very best friend and their biggest supporter.

tagged by: stole it from @caracarnn (thank youuu!) tagging: @gentlemanstarkey , @volchtsa (amren or talia), @senstrike (tell me about kreese in love buddy), @homebehind (elaine!), @dodgedabullet, @theresastargirl, @wornkindness + you !! tag me.

#headcanon. it's not a disability. it's a gift. #look at me being productive mateys. #proud of my dumb self today

[xtruss]

Forget 'Walking The Plank.' Pirate Portrayals—From Blackbeard to Captain Kidd—Are More Fantasy Than Fact.

How we think famous swashbucklers walked, talked, and dressed didn't come from the history books, so where did these pirate myths come from?

— By Jamie L. H. Goodall

An illustration from 19th-century artist Howard Pyle depicts a man being forced to walk the plank. Although there is no record of this type of punishment, it remains popular in pirate mythology. Photograph By Image Courtesy of Bridgeman Images

Say “pirate,” and people envision grizzled men with eye patches, parrots, and treasure maps. They picture buccaneers forcing their victims to walk the plank, and crying “Shiver me timbers” as they fly the Jolly Roger flag. It turns out, many of these stereotypes are not true. Pirates have been around for nearly as long as people have sailed the world’s waters, and, in fact, still exist. It’s just how they’ve been depicted that’s often misleading. So where did these misinterpretations come from?

A replica pirate ship cruising the Caribbean Sea near the Dominican Republic. Photograph By Thomas Grau, Alamy Stock Photo

Pirate Fashion

Pirates are commonly portrayed wearing colourful attire. He may sport as a loose-fitting shirt with a bandana around his head, a scarf around his waist, ripped pants, wearing tattered boots, like Captain Jack Sparrow from the Pirates of the Caribbean film series. Or he may appear a bit foppish, much like Stede Bonnet, the "gentleman pirate" in the 2022 series Our Flag Means Death.

Common pop culture depictions of pirate garb, as shown here in this early 20th century artwork, are often based on fanciful descriptions of their attire and language. Photograph By Image Courtesy of Bridgeman Images

Unfortunately, these looks are just not true. Much of this ostentation came from American artist Howard Pyle, who took his inspiration from Spanish bandits of the late 19th century. Sailors in the 18th century, pirates included, wore things such as loose pants cut off at the knee and thigh-length blouses.

Prosthetic limbs are another common pirate trait. It’s true some pirates had a wooden leg or hook hand, though it probably wasn’t the norm. More often than not, amputations at sea were likely a death sentence. While ships carried medicine chests, and medical care was often meted out by someone on the crew, infection and blood loss could lead to death. Even if a pirate survived an amputation, his ability to fight would be limited. But losing a limb didn’t mean one could not continue on the ship; the person might serve the crew, for instance, as a cook.

Many pirate clichés stem from the 1950 film 'Treasure Island,' featuring Robert Newton as the fictional pirate Long John Silver. Photograph By United Archives GMBH, Alamy Stock Photo

Pirate Talk

Common pirate phrases—such as Arrrrr me mateys!” and “Shiver me timbers!”—are common in pirate movies and pop culture. But they’re not legitimate things a pirate would actually have said. Robert Louis Stevenson imagined some of them for his 1883 novel Treasure Island, published more than 150 years after the “golden age” of piracy.

The trope of talking like a pirate is mostly a product of 20th-century Hollywood. In particular, British actor Robert Newton, who played both Blackbeard and Long John Silver. His portrayal of the fictional captain in the 1950s rendition of Treasure Island used an exaggeration of his own West Country accent and would define the sound of a pirate's accent. His portrayal also popularised many of the sayings associated with pirates today. In reality, pirates most probably spoke in a manner similar to all sailors of the time.

An artist imagines the often-willing markets pirates found throughout the Atlantic world for their stolen loot. Transatlantic trade was critical for the success of European colonies. Photograph By Gregory Manchess

Treasure, Buried or Otherwise

Captain Kidd may have buried his treasure, but that was a rare exception for most pirates. Typically, they spent their ill-gotten gains on women and alcohol at pirate-friendly ports as quickly as they could. Burying treasure would be dangerous due to shifting sands and tides, so one might easily lose their treasure. And there was a distinct lack of trust, not knowing if others might deceptively go back to dig up the treasure on their own.

Also, much of the loot pirates collected was not in the form of silver or gold. Such treasure would have been difficult to come by. The more common "booty" would have been whatever goods or commodities they could get their hands on, including timber, furs, silks, cotton, spices, and medical supplies. They also loaded up on items to perform necessary repairs on their ships, including cable, rigging, and sails.

Top Left: A gold bar and coins recovered from the Spanish galleon 'Las Maravillas' that wrecked in 1656 near the Bahamas. Photograph By Jeff Rotman, Nature Picture Library, Alamy Stock Photo Top Right: Prized Spanish coins, or pieces of eight, recovered from the wreck of the 'Whydah Gally'. Photograph By Zuma Press Inc., Alamy Stock Photo Bottom: Wooden treasure chests were typically studded with metal to reinforce them. Photograph By Andyroland, IStock, Getty Images

Pirate Codes

There is evidence that many pirate crews adopted a code of honour or articles of agreement, mostly to keep order on board the ship. These codes dealt with everything from how to divvy up loot, to what happened to pirates if they became injured in the line of duty, to how bad behaviour would be dealt with, to how prisoners would be treated. Some pirate articles have survived to this day, including the code of Englishman George Lowther and his crew, which, for example, compensated a person who lost a limb during a skirmish.

The 1724 articles of Captain John Phillips of the 'Revenge' discuss matters such as theft on board the ship and compensation for limbs lost during battle. Photograph By British Library Board. All Rights Reserved, Bridgeman Images

If a pirate violated the code, it is unlikely they were made to "walk the plank." Little to no historical evidence exists to support that practice, which was largely pulled from fiction, including Treasure Island. If victims were punished in some way, it was typically via keelhauling. Keelhauling was arguably a more hideous fate that involved an individual being tied to a rope and dragged under the ship. Victims of keelhauling either died by bleeding out from injuries inflicted by barnacles on the hull of the ship or by drowning. Other forms of punishment ranged from being thrown overboard to being lashed to being marooned on a desert isle.

Pirate Ships 🛳️ 🚢

Most pirates did not sail Spanish galleons, or even the frigates such as Captain Jack Sparrow’s Black Pearl. They favoured small, more manoeuvrable vessels, which allowed easy escape from larger warships that chased them. During the 16th and 17th centuries, sloops were the most common choice for pirates. They were quick and had a shallow draft, making easier escape into shallow waters. Schooners were another favourite of pirates. Similar to sloops, schooners were fast, simple to manoeuvre, and could easily hide in estuaries because of their shallow draft.

Top: A replica of the 17th-century Spanish galleon 'Neptune'. Photograph By Volodymyr Dvornyk, Shutterstock Middle: A crew raises the anchor from what is believed to be the remains of the pirate Blackbeard’s flagship, 'Queen Anne’s Revenge.' It was discovered in Beaufort Inlet, in Carteret County, North Carolina. Photograph By AP Photo, Robert Willett, The News & Observer

Bottom Left: The National Museum of the Royal Navy in Hampshire, England, displays a Jolly Roger that once belonged to Admiral Richard Curry, who seized it from pirates off the North African coast in 1790. Photograph By Andrew Matthews, Getty Images Bottom Right: Coves, such as this one near Bridgetown, Barbados, would have made perfect hideouts for pirates. Photograph By Fabio Mauri, Eyeem, Getty Images

And, despite popular myth, most pirates did not fly the famous Jolly Roger—a skull and crossbones symbol on a black flag. Some flew a black flag, which meant the pirate was willing to give quarter, while a red flag meant blood and certain death. Blackbeard’s flag showed a skeleton holding a spear pointing at a bleeding heart. Pirate crews also often held the flags of several different nations so they could raise a particular flag to signal being “friendly” to a passing ship, only to raise their pirate flag once they were in close enough range to attack said vessel.

Pirate Fights

One thing that most of the pop culture depictions of pirates got somewhat right is that they liked versatile weapons. Cutlasses, short swords with a slightly curved blade, could be used to effectively fight in the confined areas of a ship and could also be used to butcher meat.

Top: Bar shot were common tools for pirates, who used them at close range to destroy the rigging and sails of enemy ships. Due to the weights on either end of the bars, they would spin uncontrollably after being fired from a cannon. Bottom: This musket’s barrel and stock were cut down, likely so a pirate could more easily use it in close combat. Photographs By Kenneth Garrett

Pirates also enjoyed using a gun known as a blunderbuss. It had a distinct flared muzzle that sprayed small lead balls at intended victims. Cannons were also common onboard pirate ships. They could be loaded with chain shot (two cannonballs chained together), grapeshot (small cannonballs), or basic cannonballs. Their targets often didn’t stand a chance.

While books, movies, and popular culture may have taken liberty with descriptions of pirates through the ages, these pillagers have terrorised the seas for more than 2,000 years in one form or another, plundering victims and striking fear into their hearts. The most recent pirates work off the coasts of Somalia and Malaysia, looking far different from the “golden age” of piracy depictions. But one thing remains true: They are just as intimidating.

The 18th-century painting 'Anne Bonny, Female Pirate' by Fortunino Matania depicts Anne Bonny and an accomplice taking two sailors prisoner. Photograph By Image Courtesy of Historia, Shutterstock

#Culture | History #Pirate Portrayals #Blackbeard | Captain Kidd #Fantasy | Fact #Pirate Mythology #Pirate Ship 🛳️ 🚢 #Pirate Garb #Fanciful | Descriptions #Attire Language #Treasure Island #Transatlantic Trade #European Colonies #Bahamas 🇧🇸

[tothedarkdarkseas]

16, 33, 41?

16. Can they stay up all night just talking?

Definitely. This is aided by substances, usually, but between the music and the drugs I think they've had their share of late nights, not all as productive as they'd like; some spotted with regrets, but many just... genuinely good memories, good "matey" nights pouring over the dizzy thoughts and playing a verbal game of MASH about their rockstar futures. (This is, of course, more true of the early years.) I'd say it's rare that "just talking" truly excludes the initial excuse for time spent together, be it writing and recording or smoking and snorting, but it can exclude any physical contact beyond the socially appropriate.

33. Who’s the better cook?

It's honestly hard for me to hedge bets on this. Neither. The answer is surely neither. I simply cannot see Stuart having any ability beyond feeding himself, for nothing more has ever been necessitated; I cannot see Murdoc having any ability beyond feeding himself, for that core survival ability was necessitated. I think some years into their celebrity Stuart has slightly more interest in food, specifically through his dabbles with vegetarianism, religious and spiritual bases for eating or not eating something, the cuisine of other cultures when he becomes a more seasoned traveller. I wouldn't say that translates into a gift for cooking itself, though. Murdoc has had to know more of the fundamentals of preparing something even on limited resources, but I think he's promptly forsaken that for the glory of wealth and convenience.

I'm going to ultimately give it to Murdoc, I think, but that comes with a half-dozen asterisks beside it. The two smoke so heavily that they can only be so critical. No one else eats their cooking; no one else is as inoculated against the taste.

41. Which one would take their jacket it off and drape over the other one because they were visibly shivering?

This also threatens to be a bit more tender than I portray them, but probably Stu. It's a headcanon of mine that Murdoc is often cold, but isn't really willing to admit to it, or can function with a bizarre unawareness of those charmless human needs; maybe it's a result of heavy drinking fucking around with his bodily awareness. Stu's certainly not offering out of a fondness, but a knowingness of what isn't being said.

He might ask something like "D'you need a coat or are you having a fit?" or mutter about "drunk shakes." He might tell him if he didn't dress like a tart Stu wouldn't have to be so put-upon, how he probably looks like a real tit without his jacket now. He sort of likes it though, being put-upon, if only for the very low-stakes upper hand it gives him. There is a sick sort of traditionalist dominance that overrides his lack of natural chivalry toward Murdoc, you know, ah-- it's embarrassing, he thinks. Murdoc ought to be embarrassed. Murdoc ought to feel small, the way he's been made to feel small by Murdoc tying his shoes or stealing from his nightstand or picking which of his least-favourite shirts he'll have to wear for the next four days. Whether or not that image consciously enters his mind, there is a certain smug satisfaction that accompanies the instinct that the gesture is emasculating to the other. (We know, though, that this is not the same issue for Murdoc. Win/win from his end, really.)

#ask gamez

[moonmanager]

Treasure island movie

He discovers that Silver hired his old shipmates, and all of them are pirates from Captain Flint’s crew. Once on the ship, Captain Smollett expresses misgivings about the crew, especially since their “secret” voyage appears to be common knowledge.Īfter days at sea, Jim is sitting in an apple barrel when he overhears Silver and the crew planning a mutiny. The Squire hires Captain Smollett and his ship for the expedition, and hires a cook, Long John Silver, who befriends Jim and claims he can rally up a crew. Jim shares the treasure map with the Doctor and the Squire, and the Squire at once declares the three of them must go on a voyage to uncover the treasure. By the time Jim returns with Doctor Livesey and Squire Trelawney, however, the pirates have already looted the tavern and Bones is found dead. Bones knows the pirates are after his treasure map, so he gives it to Jim for safekeeping while Jim goes to fetch help. The second pirate hands Bones a black spot-a mark of death. While young Jim Hawkins is looking after the tavern his mother runs, two different pirates come looking for William Bones, a sickly man who’s been hiding there. (Feel free to skip ahead to our review.) Synopsis In case you fell asleep part way through, here’s a quick synopsis of the story. Treasure Island is the thirteenth movie in our Disnerd Movie Challenge, and after watching it last night we have a few thoughts to share. The apple barrel scene with young Jim trying to avoid being skewered by Silver's knife made my kids scream, and what more can you ask from a kid's movie than a good, safe scare? This is a must have movie for any serious video collection.Arg, ya mateys! Welcome back to this here blog. The story is a little long in the tooth, but the key points, such as the delivery of the black spot by Blind Pew, and the recapture of the Hispaniola, are still tense and exciting, even to a generation weaned on Stargate and Spiderman. The last time I viewed it was probably about ten years ago when my youngest child was still a pre-teen, and Newton's performance as the quintessential rogue who can slit your throat without a qualm while you are laughing at one of his jokes was just as impressive to me when I was 50 as when I was 10. (apparently it also impressed Richard Dreyfuss, who does an homage to Newton's Long John in 'Jaws'). I saw this flick fifty years ago, when it was first run in the theaters, and it left an indelible impression in my memory. Robert Newton, however, is the definitive Long John Silver. The Charlton Heston version has the advantage of a wonderful Chieftains soundtrack, and some richer production values than were possible in 1954, but somehow Heston never comes across as the kind of man who could weld a band of misfits, convicts, perverts, murderers and general misanthropes into a functioning pirate crew.

Wallace Beery is always worth watching, and his black and white version has many strong points, but he never quite convinces me that he is the black hearted devil who is second only to Captain Flint himself in his cruelty. I'm not sure if this is the cinematic version which best captures the ethos of Robert Louis Stevenson's book, but it is the version which provides the best movie experience for the viewer, and probably the film that most people think of whenever some one mentions Treasure Island.

#Treasure island movie

[glittersister]

Kat’s Bjelland’s 12 Favorite Songs interview - text sourced from here, a now defunct fansite created by “hersir.” Date and publication source unknown

The Replacements - Unsatisfied "It was played 20 times a day. It was always on our turntable. What does it make me think of? Paris. Perfume. An empty Fillmore Street Victorian flat. San Francisco Haight Street. Being very poor. No cigarettes. Cockroaches. Being in a band with Courtney called Sugarbunny Farm. Jennifer throwing her bass at Courtney. Why? It had something to do with migrating to Minneapolis. That's why they wear flannel. It's cold in Minneapolis."

Hair - The Soundtrack "I went to this play with my parents in about fourth or fifth grade. I was the only kid there. I got to see the whole cast naked in the finale. When my parents went out, I'd open the drapes so I could see my bell-bottomed, head-banded reflection, dancing. They sang songs about fellatio, sodomy, cunnilingus, pederasty, drugs; that song "Frank Mills"! I loved it. All that I wanted then was to be a hippy like my mom."

K-Tel - Haunted House Sounds "This was my very first LP. My father obviously didn't realise how cat's screeching, ladies screaming in terror, aliens landing and psychotic laughter could infect/affect and scare little minds. At the time I was really into staring myself down in the mirror until I left my body, then I'd just jerk back and forth to this record or turn into some scary-faced creature. I was grounded a lot but I flew around inside my head."

Rush - 2112 "I was very metal then. Judas Priest, Scorpions, Maiden, Girlschool, Ozzy. Shut up - at least I'm honest! "Cygnus X-1" on "Farewell to the Kings" fairly ruled. Also, no girls I knew really liked Rush, only boys, they sang about weird lands and mystical places."

Miracle Workers - Inside Out "Sixties garage kings, loving it, looking it, the whole part. I dyed my hair black. Matt Rogers from the band helped me pick out my Rickenbacker, inspired me a lot and turned me on to so many bands like the Cramps, plus "Pebbles" compilations, old Fender equipment, tube amps, old pedals....the whole deal. Plus they were the coolest live band ever, except for...."

The Wipers - Alien Boy - Positive Negative "Portland, Oregon, where I was living, was pretty great for bands in the early Eighties. Sage is the perfect last name for The Wiper's Greg. G S = Genius Sage. He taught me about feedback and had a real honest singing style and stage persona. They were my favourite band, and the music reeks of Portland back then. His solo stuff is a definite depression inducer. Perfect."

The Cars - Candy 0 "That song drove me all over Woodburn, Oregon. I was 15 years old. The Dragstrip! Muscles. Cars. Sneaking out at nights. Skipping school. Sex. Keggers, bongs and puke. No, I wouldn't care to explain that."

Kiss - Destroyer "I had the biggest Kiss poster you could get. Me and Alfredo Garcia would open the windows before recess so we could sneak back in and air-guitar to Kiss. I had to be Gene Simmons, God of Thunder: all that is evil is good. The God of Thunder himself said to Maureen that she had a "nice bottom". As in bass. A Rock Pig Joke."

Pixies - Surfer Rosa "Pop sensibility without compromise. Nice spaces and dynamics. Sorta scientific. Great production, great songs. Kim Deal's voice! I love The Breeders. "Pod" is great - beautiful songwriting! I wrote our track "Vomit Heart", after listening to that record.

The Rolling Stones - Exile On Main Street "Acid. I was having my heart ripped out by a guy whose last name was actually Letcher, which inspired most if not all of "Spanking Machine". Depression and wallowing around in it for too long. Stitches. Bandages."

Sonic Youth - Sister "Courtney owed me some money, the exact cost of this record, so she bought it for me. I'd only heard the "Kill Yr Idols" '45, with Kim screaming. I felt reassured after that and realised I actually was writing "songs". I hadn't grasped the concept of "No Rules" right away."

Staple Sisters - Uncloudy Day "It reminds me of living in London. Being in love in a different country. Eating too many eggs. "Old Matey". Manor House. James (Johnston, Gallon Drunk singer and ex-beau) bought me this record. It's so beautiful it makes me cry. I listened to it when I found out that my mom had died. That line "Tell Heaven I'm Coming Home" hurts my heart."

#Kat Bjelland #Babes in Toyland #my posts

[invisibleicewands]

Staged's Anna Lundberg and Georgia Tennant: 'Scenes with all four of us usually involved alcohol'

Not many primetime TV hits are filmed by the show’s stars inside their own homes. However, 2020 wasn’t your average year. During the pandemic, productions were shut down and workarounds had to be found – otherwise the terrestrial schedules would have begun to look worryingly empty. Staged was the surprise comedy hit of the summer.

This playfully meta short-form sitcom, airing in snack-sized 15-minute episodes, found A-list actors Michael Sheen and David Tennant playing an exaggerated version of themselves, bickering and bantering as they tried to perfect a performance of Luigi Pirandello’s Six Characters in Search of an Author over Zoom.

Having bonded while co-starring in Good Omens, Amazon’s TV adaptation of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s novel, Sheen, 51, and Tennant, 49, became best buddies in real life. In Staged, though, they’re comedically reframed as frenemies – warm, matey and collaborative, but with a cut-throat competitiveness lurking just below the surface. As they grew ever more hirsute and slobbish in lockdown, their virtual relationship became increasingly fraught.

It was soapily addictive and hilariously thespy, while giving a voyeuristic glimpse of their interior decor and domestic lives – with all the action viewed through their webcams.

Yet it was the supporting cast who lifted Staged to greatness,Their director Simon Evans, forced to dance around the pair’s fragile egos and piggy-in-the-middle of their feuds. Steely producer Jo, played by Nina Sosanya, forever breaking off from calls to bellow at her poor, put-upon PA. And especially the leading men’s long-suffering partners, both actors in real life, Georgia Tennant and Anna Lundberg.

Georgia Tennant comes from showbiz stock, as the child of Peter Davison and Sandra Dickinson. At 36 she is an experienced actor and producer, who made her TV debut in Peak Practice aged 15. She met David on Doctor Who 2008, when she played the Timelord’s cloned daughter Jenny. Meanwhile, the Swedish Lundberg, 26, is at the start of her career. She left drama school in New York two years ago and Staged is her first big on-screen role.

Married for nine years, the Tennants have five children and live in west London. The Lundberg-Sheens have been together two years, have a baby daughter, Lyra, and live outside Port Talbot in south Wales. On screen and in real life, the women have become firm friends and frequent scene-stealers.

Staged proved so successful that it’s now back for a second series. We set up a video call with Tennant and Lundberg to discuss lockdown life, wine consumption, home schooling (those two may be related) and the blurry line between fact and fiction…

Was doing Staged a big decision, because it’s so personal and set in your homes? Georgia Tennant: We’d always been a very private couple. Staged was everything we’d never normally say yes to. Suddenly, our entire house is on TV and so is a version of the relationship we’d always kept private. But that’s the way to do it, I guess. Go to the other extreme. Just rip off the Band-Aid.

Anna Lundberg: Michael decided pretty quickly that we weren’t going to move around the house at all. All you see is the fireplace in our kitchen.

GT: We have five children, so it was just about which room was available.

AL: But it’s not the real us. It’s not a documentary.

GT: Although some people think it is.

Which fictional parts of the show do people mistake for reality? GT: People think I’m really a novelist because “Georgia” writes a novel in Staged. They’ve asked where they can buy my book. I should probably just write one now because I’ve done the marketing already.

AL: People worry about our elderly neighbour, who gets hospitalised in the show. She doesn’t actually exist in real life but people have approached Michael in Tesco’s, asking if she’s OK.

Michael and David squabble about who’s billed first in Staged. Does that reflect real life? AL: With Good Omens, Michael’s name was first for the US market and David’s was first for the British market. So those scenes riffed on that.

Should we call you Georgia and Anna, or Anna and Georgia? GT: Either. We’re super-laidback about these things.

AL: Unlike certain people.

How well did you know each other before Staged? GT: We barely knew each other. We’ve now forged a friendship by working on the show together.

AL: We’d met once, for about 20 minutes. We were both pregnant at the time – we had babies a month apart – so that was pretty much all we talked about.

Did you tidy up before filming? AL: We just had to keep one corner relatively tidy.

GT: I’m quite a tidy person, but I didn’t want to be one of those annoying Instagram people with perfect lives. So strangely, I had to add a bit of mess… dot a few toys around in the background. I didn’t want to be one of those insufferable people – even though, inherently, I am one of those people.

Was there much photobombing by children or pets? AL: In the first series, Lyra was still at an age where we could put her in a baby bouncer. Now that’s not working at all. She’s just everywhere. Me and Michael don’t have many scenes together in series two, because one of us is usually Lyra-wrangling.

GT: Our children aren’t remotely interested. They’re so unimpressed by us. There’s one scene where Doris, our five-year-old, comes in to fetch her iPad. She doesn’t even bother to glance at what we’re doing.

How was lockdown for you both? AL: I feel bad saying it, but it was actually good for us. We were lucky enough to be in a big house with a garden. For the first time since we met, we were in one place. We could just focus on Lyra . To see her grow over six months was incredible. She helped us keep a steady routine, too.

GT: Ours was similar. We never spend huge chunks of time together, so it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. At least until David’s career goes to shit and he’s just sat at home. The flipside was the bleakness. Being in London, there were harrowing days when everything was silent but you’d just hear sirens going past, as a reminder that something awful was going on. So I veered between “This is wonderful” and “This is the worst thing that ever happened.”

And then there was home schooling… GT: Which was genuinely the worst thing that ever happened.

You’ve spent a lot of time on video calls, clearly. What are your top Zooming tips? GT: Raise your camera to eye level by balancing your laptop on a stack of books. And invest in a ring light.

AL: That’s why you look so much better. We just have our sad kitchen light overhead, which makes us look like one massive shiny forehead.

GT: Also, always have a good mug on the go [raises her cuppa to the camera and it’s a Michael Sheen mug]. Someone pranked David on the job he’s shooting at the moment by putting a Michael Sheen mug in his trailer. He brought it home and now I use it every morning. I’m magically drawn to drinking out of Michael.

There’s a running gag in series one about the copious empties in Michael’s recycling. Did you lean into lockdown boozing in real life? AL: Not really. We eased off when I was pregnant and after Lyra was born. We’d just have a glass of wine with dinner.

GT: Yes, definitely. I often reach for a glass of red in the show, which was basically just an excuse to continue drinking while we were filming: “I think my character would have wine and cake in this scene.” The time we started drinking would creep slightly earlier. “We’ve finished home schooling, it’s only 4pm, but hey…” We’ve scaled it back to just weekends now.

How did you go about creating your characters with the writer Simon Evans? AL: He based the dynamic between David and Michael on a podcast they did together. Our characters evolved as we went along.

GT: I was really kind and understanding in the first draft. I was like “I don’t want to play this, it’s no fun.” From the first few tweaks I made, Simon caught onto the vibe, took that and ran with it.

Did you struggle to keep a straight face at times? AL: Yes, especially the scenes with all four of us, when David and Michael start improvising.

GT: I was just drunk, so I have no recollection.

AL: Scenes with all four of us were normally filmed in the evening, because that’s when we could be child-free. Usually there was alcohol involved, which is a lot more fun.

GT: There’s a long scene in series two where we’re having a drink. During each take, we had to finish the glass. By the end, we were all properly gone. I was rewatching it yesterday and I was so pissed.

What else can you tell us about series two? GT: Everyone’s in limbo. Just as we think things are getting back to normal, we have to take three steps back again. Everyone’s dealing with that differently, shall we say.

AL: In series one, we were all in the same situation. By series two, we’re at different stages and in different emotional places.

GT: Hollywood comes calling, but things are never as simple as they seem.

There were some surprise big-name cameos in series one, with Samuel L Jackson and Dame Judi Dench suddenly Zooming in. Who can we expect this time around? AL: We can’t name names, but they’re very exciting.

GT: Because series one did so well, and there’s such goodwill towards the show, we’ve managed to get some extraordinary people involved. This show came from playing around just to pass the time in lockdown. It felt like a GCSE end-of-term project. So suddenly, when someone says: “Samuel L Jackson’s in”, it’s like: “What the fuck’s just happened?”

AL: It took things to the next level, which was a bit scary.

GT: It suddenly felt like: “Some people might actually watch this.”

How are David and Michael’s hair and beard situations this time? AL: We were in a toyshop the other day and Lyra walked up to these Harry Potter figurines, pointed at Hagrid and said: “Daddy!” So that explains where we’re at. After eight months of lockdown, it was quite full-on.

GT: David had a bob at one point. Turns out he’s got annoyingly excellent hair. Quite jealous. He’s also grown a slightly unpleasant moustache.

Is David still wearing his stinky hoodie? GT: I bought him that as a gift. It’s actually Paul Smith loungewear. In lockdown, he was living in it. It’s pretty classy, but he does manage to make it look quite shit.

#Michael Sheen #David Tennant #Staged #Staged 2 #Georgia Tennant #The tidy corner #we noticed it #Staged2 #SwedishFishAL

[whatever-lola-wants]

SPOOPY SEASON MOVIE RECOMMENDATIONS : PART II

Stage Fright/Deliria/Aquarius (1987)

A giallo-lite movie about a musical troupe rehearsing a play about a fictional serial killer, only to realize there's an actual killer -- an insane former stage actor in an owl mask -- in the deserted theater with them. There are elements of the classic giallo horror as I've mentioned before -- a dreamlike, almost hyperreal quality to everything from the dialogue to the gore -- but this one veers more towards the artsy side. A surprisingly tasteful take on the slasher genre but never afraid to go all bloody disgusting when it needs to. That owl mask is actually pretty good looking, too. Also has some of the best cinematography you've ever seen in a horror film, period. It's an Italian production with American actors though, so expect some weirdly stilted writing/dubbing.

Ever notice how weird it is that giallo horror movies always have totally bopping soundtracks?

The Fly (1986)

Like The Thing, this is another masterpiece I've been waiting to gush about. Yes, much like the former, the practical effects and makeup are gorgeous, gross, and breathtaking, but what sets The Fly apart from other horror movies with great practical effects/makeup/animatronics (like, say, The Void (2017) which is otherwise devoid of any redeeming value) is its near-flawless writing, specifically, the character development and the slow build to the payoff. If we chart the path of the protagonist and the antagonist in this movie, they're actually twisted inversions of each other. The antagonist is a rapey douche and stalker who ends up being the savior for all the wrong reasons, and our protagonist is a genuinely good guy who you empathize and root for, but who succumbs to ego and pride and his good intentions are corrupted as he becomes the titular monster of the movie. I absolutely love The Fly. It accomplishes everything it sets out to do, and it's right up there with The Thing for me in terms of one of the best movies ever made regardless of genre.

Also, FUCKING JEFF "DADDY" GOLDBLUM. That's all the recommendation one could realistically need.

Black Christmas (1974)

Look, as cliched as it is, as overrated as you think it might be, you can't have a list of spooky movies without mentioning the best slasher movie of all time, John Carpenter's Halloween (1978). That one transcends its genre and is one of the most influential movies of all time. Just watch it if you haven't already. I'd much rather talk about Black Christmas (1974) instead, a Canadian film which actually originated the slasher flick genre (yes, you heard that right.) and influenced John Carpenter to make Halloween in the first place. It's an exceptional example of the genre, but more interestingly, it's also unique in every way in the genre. Every character is developed, and every death matters. There's no cookie cutter tropetastic pretty girl who gets murdered in seconds here, no idiotic decisions and random deaths just to add to the body count. Because you empathize with these characters, the psychological embodiment of the killer in the form of disturbing, disgusting phone calls are as scary as the actual physical embodiment of the killer when he shows up. It's such a...dark, depressing, cynical take on Christmas and I hate and love it at the same time. Kind of difficult to find it these days though, but there's an uncensored version floating online (arrr matey 🦜🏴‍☠️) that's easy enough to find if you're willing to look.

Frankenhooker (1990)

"A terrifying tale of sluts and bolts". One of the most well known 'cult' classics ever. I'm pretty sure anyone from this era has at least heard of this one. A beautiful, creative, whimsical take on the classic Frankenstein story that doesn't let its low budget hold it back from what it wants to accomplish. A saccharine sweet happy relationship comes to a tragic end in a...um. A comically gory lawnmower incident. The guy just can't let go, preserves the girlfriend's head, and works to bring her back to life. He needs female body parts to rebuild her though, and naturally resorts to killing sex workers in seedy alleyways, porn theaters, and peep shows to collect enough of them until...well, that would be spoilers. The editing, pacing, writing are all near-perfect, and honestly, I think it's only the grim premise and black comedy that has held it back from being considered one of the best movies of all time. It's not for everyone, but damn if it isn't an expertly made movie and some of the most fun you'll ever have watching a spoopy thing.

REC (2007)

Fair warning : this Spanish movie is one of those fancy shaky-cam-found-footage films, so if you get motion sick easily you might want to steer clear. That being said, it's one of the best examples of the genre. REC keeps things super simple plot wise -- reporter and cameraman (hence the title) get caught in an apartment, in the middle of some sort of zombie outbreak with a demonic touch -- and is paced perfectly, making for a very enjoyable watch. There's some really cool setpieces throughout, the CGI is so subtle you'll never notice it, and the ending is absolutely shocking. Unfortunately its Hollywood remake (Quarantine) and many sequels could never live up to the original.

Event Horizon (1997)

You've probably heard of this movie at least once on the internet, and any time you have, the subject has been the infamous goretastic cannibalistic orgy scene and how its original, uncut footage has now been lost. Missing the forest for the trees. That scene was exactly as long as it needed to be (all of five seconds maybe) to drive home the predicament the protagonists were in, and more importantly, even without it, the movie itself is one of the most disturbing, unsettling sci-fi x haunted house x cosmic horror crossovers ever. While it does get predictable in parts, the premise is interesting (no upsetty space alien ripping people apart), every jump scare is earned, every visceral moment is properly built up with suspense, every actor does their job earnestly (Sam Neill is always good, and Lawrence Fishburne plays one of the most pragmatic horror leads ever), and the special effects, makeup, set designs, all hold up to this day. Also, soon to be re-adapted into an Amazon prime miniseries.

#horror #movie recommendations

[pikapeppa]

Cullen/Lavellan and FenHawke pirate AU: Fine

HAPPY NEW YARRRR MATEYS, @schoute and I are back on our bullshit with Chapter 33 of Where The Winds Of Fortune Take Me!

In which the forest adventures continue and Piper and Rynne are the best and we love them okay. The chapter is a long one, ~9200 words, so only the first section is here; read it all on AO3. 

*******************

- RYNNE -

The forest was incredible. 

They’d broken camp about half an hour ago, not long after dawn heralded the lilting rise of birdsong through the thickness of the leaves. The soft and heavy scent of damp soil and sun-kissed leaves filled Rynne’s lungs as she and the others followed Merrill’s trail. 

Merrill was still following the ineffable voice that only she, Piper, and Fenris could hear, and Rynne was only too happy to trail along in her wake. Since she didn’t have to pay attention to where they were going, she could enjoy the bursting blooms and the wild sounds of insects and birds as she picked her way through the foliage at Fenris’s side. 

Part of her mind still couldn’t quite believe that their path was being laid out by a strange elven sixth sense. It was like something straight out of the stories that she’d been devouring since she was a child. It was fascinating and marvelous and totally unexpected, and if someone had told her a few months ago that she would be wandering barefoot through a pristine untouched forest with a handful of pirates — herself being a pirate too! — and following a voice that only her elven companions could hear, she would have told them to bugger off and go bother some other gullible noble idiot with fanciful tales.

It was also somewhat unnerving. 

She quickly shunted the worried little thought aside. Of course it was unnerving; it was an unknown situation, and everything strange and unknown was bound to be a little unnerving. But Rynne was determined to approach this odd situation with the same open-armed zeal that she’d employed during every other adventure she’d had thus far. Her headfirst approach had yet to fail her; it was that same headfirst approach that had gotten her out of Kirkwall, after all. And sure, maybe there was that brief hiccup when throwing herself headfirst at Fenris hadn’t worked out the way she’d hoped, but that had fixed itself in time. 

There was also that terrifying moment in the infirmary two days ago when she’d been cornered by that pirate and she’d genuinely thought she might die. But she’d launched herself headfirst into that fight with all the defensive and dirty tactics that Fenris had taught her, and that had ended up fine as well. 

Everything ends up fine if you try hard enough and give it enough time, she reminded herself. And she was sure this forest-y quest would be no different. There was no place for worrying or being unnerved here, not when there was an exciting mystery beckoning them forth. 

Besides, Fenris was worried enough for the both of them. In Rynne’s opinion, it was far more productive to bounce wholeheartedly into this adventure so that he might enjoy himself a bit as well. 

She glanced up at him. His face was creased in a frown, and his hand was hovering vigilantly over the handle of his scimitar. 

Rynne reached over and took his hand. He looked down at her, and she beamed at him.

He raised one eyebrow. “What?” he said.

“Nothing,” she chirped. “I’m just having a nice time.” 

A hint of a smile lifted his lips. “Of course you are,” he said sardonically.

She poked him playfully in the arm. “What’s that dig supposed to mean?”

He shrugged. “You take pleasure in the mundane. That is all I meant.”

Rynne laughed. “My father has this tongue-in-cheek saying: ‘simple pleasures for simple minds’. You sound just like him right now.”

Fenris scoffed. “I’m uncertain if I should be flattered or concerned to be compared to your father.”

“In this case, flattered,” Rynne assured him. “He might not be around much, but he’s full of pithy pearls of wisdom, that’s for certain.”

“So you’re saying I speak in platitudes and clichés?” Fenris said. Despite his sarcastic tone, his lips were curled in the most kissable smirk, and Rynne grinned at him. 

“Well, you’re saying I’m easily amused,” she retorted.

“You are,” Fenris said. “And I mean that nicely. Taking pleasure in small things is… enviable. It’s a good trait. I’m…” He trailed off for a moment, then met her eye once more.  “It is good to see you enjoying yourself,” he finally said.

“Of course I’m enjoying myself,” she said. “I’m walking with you.” She gave him a winning smile.

He snorted softly. “Kaffas, Hawke, you will make me blush.”

“Oh good!” she chirped. “That’s my goal in life, you know. To make those handsome cheeks of yours turn red.”

He chuckled and shook his head, and Rynne waited happily for his witty retort. But before he could speak, Cullen joined them.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” he said with a nod of greeting. “But I was hoping for your counsel, Fenris.”

“You don’t want to speak to me?” Rynne said. She widened her eyes dramatically and held one hand to her bosom. “I’m awfully offended.”

Cullen gave her a smile and a tiny half-bow. “My apologies, Hawke. I will come up with something to ask your advice on later, if you like.”

Rynne playfully fanned herself. “How very kind of you, Ser Rutherford. I’ll look forward to advising you as best I can.” She did a mockingly formal curtsy, despite her lack of skirts, then fondly pinched Fenris’s chin before skipping forward to join Piper, who was walking a few steps behind Merrill and Dorian.

She elbowed Piper. “You and Cullen didn’t come back to the camp before I fell asleep. What were you up to out in the forest for that long?” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Piper grinned at her. “Wouldn’t you like to know, you filthy-minded wench?”

“I would, I would!” Rynne said eagerly. “Tell me every sordid detail. Quickly, before Cullen comes back and his face goes up in flames.” 

Piper laughed, but to Rynne’s surprise, her cheeks were turning slightly pink. It wasn’t like Piper to blush over a little lewd back-and-forth. What could she possibly be blushing about…? 

Rynne’s eyes went wide. “Oh Maker,” she breathed. “You’re not–” She broke off and lowered her voice. “Are you pregnant?”

“What?” Piper exclaimed. “No! Why would you ask that?”

“Because you’re blushing,” Rynne said matter-of-factly. “Noble ladies always do the whole blushing pretend-to-be-coy thing when they tell everyone that they’re ‘in the family way’.” She rolled her eyes. “As though we’re all supposed to be titillated because a baby makes it clear that she and her husband have had sex. It’s all very boring if you ask me.”

Piper snorted. “Well, I’m no noble lady. And I’m definitely not pregnant.”

“Well then?” Rynne said curiously. “What’s the blushing about?”

Piper scoffed and shoved her playfully. “You’re a fucking nosy one, you know that?”

To Rynne’s amusement, Piper’s cheeks were turning even pinker. Rynne laughed and linked her arm with Piper’s. “I am, it’s true,” she said cheerfully. “But only because you’re actually interesting. I never had interesting friends before. Please, Piper,” she batted her eyelashes, “tell me your gossip so I can ooh and ahh and pretend I’m going to tell everyone whilst actually telling no one at all.” 

Piper rolled her eyes, but she was grinning still. “Fine, fine,” she said. She rubbed her nose, then gave Rynne a secretive little smile. “I asked Cullen to marry me last night, and he said yes.”

“What?” Rynne shrieked.

Piper burst out laughing, and Rynne clapped her hands over her mouth, but it was too late; Fenris was instantly at her side, and everyone else had come to a dead stop at the sound of Rynne’s shriek. 

“What’s wrong?” Cullen demanded. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, what’s happened?” Dorian said. “I do hope I’m not being left out of anything fun.”

Rynne turned to Piper with wide eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she gasped. “I just – oh, Piper, I’m so–!” She broke off and did an excited little hop. “I’m so happy for you! Oh, but you didn’t want to…” She covered her mouth again to stop her chatty tongue from spilling Piper’s news, but Piper was still laughing. 

She waved her hand dismissively. “It’s fine, it’s not like it’s a secret. We’ll tell the whole crew anyway once we get back to the ship.”

“Oh,” Cullen said in a softer tone. “You’re talking about our news?” He smiled goofily at Piper, who was grinning back at him very proudly indeed, and Rynne couldn’t help herself: she flung herself at Cullen and hugged him.

“Congratulations!” she squealed, and she hugged Piper as well. “I’m so happy for you both! I’ve never seen a pirate wedding before! This is going to be so exciting!”

“A wedding?” Merrill gasped. “You’re going to be married? Oh my, how sweet! I’ll make traditional saotabradh for you, Piper, but we might have to go back to Rialto so I can get some fine chocolate! And I’ll need pistachios too, the good kind from Rivain, oh–”

Dorian chuckled and quirked an eyebrow at Cullen. “Are you sure you know quite what you’re doing, marrying Captain Mad Piper? It’s rather like tying oneself to a wild Fereldan horse: thrilling and entertaining, with a high chance of personal injury.” 

Piper laughed and flicked his ear. “Says the man who basically invited himself to join my ship one day.”

Dorian delicately dusted off his sleeve. “Precisely. That’s how I know what I’m talking about.”

Cullen chuckled. “I appreciate the concern, but there’s no need. I’m… truly, I am thrilled.” He smiled at Piper again. “I… yes, thrilled really is the word.”

Piper beamed at him, and Rynne clasped her hands together with delight. “Oh Cullen, that is just so fucking sweet. You should write your own vows!”

His smile fell into a look of surprise. “Ah. Vows. Yes, I had wondered – Piper, who will be actually, er, marrying us?”

She planted her hands on her hips. “I’m the captain,” she announced. “I can declare us married.”

“That’s not how that works,” Fenris said dryly.

Piper smirked at him. “Are you volunteering to marry us, then?”

He folded his arms. “I believe it will be Varric who has that dubious honour, given that he’s the other first mate.”

Piper snorted with laughter and punched him in the arm. “‘Dubious honour’, my ass. Come on, you gossip-hounds, let’s get back to this trail of ours.” She pinched Merrill’s cheek playfully. “Lead the way, you wily wayfinder.”

“Of course, Captain!” Merrill chirped. “Oh, but I’ll have to start thinking about what other dishes to serve for your wedding. We’re running low on salt fish, but we can pick up more of that in Rialto too, and I wonder if I can get my hands on some deep mushroom? If you prepare it carefully, it makes the most wonderful stew.”

Dorian chuckled. “You might as well get some of those Orlesian cakes with deep mushroom and anise while you’re at it. You know the ones called la misère exquise?” 

Merrill gave him an affronted look. “‘The exquisite misery’? Why would we want those at Piper and Cullen’s wedding?”

“Because that’s how we’ll all be feeling when our dear Cullen makes the Captain caterwaul on their wedding night,” Dorian drawled. “I for one shall be eating cakes in my cabin while covering my ears, I assure you.”

Rynne guffawed while Cullen awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, and Piper pinched Dorian’s gold-studded ear. “No one asked you to listen in, you pervert.”

“I assure you I’ll have very little choice in the matter,” Dorian said loftily. “You can be incredibly vocal for such a small elf. Good work, by the way,” he added to Cullen.

Cullen cleared his throat. “I, er, am not sure how to respond to this.”

“Say thank you,” Rynne said gleefully. “It sounds like quite a compliment to me.” She elbowed Piper, who smiled very smugly indeed.

“No, don’t thank him,” Fenris put in. “You will only encourage him to taunt you further.”

“Oh please,” Dorian scoffed. “I hardly need encouraging. You, for example, also seem to be doing a decent job with our fair lady Hawke, based on the sounds that come from your quarters.”

Rynne gasped in offense. “‘Decent’?” she exclaimed. “I’ll have you know that Fenris–”

“Look at that,” Fenris said loudly. “Dorian just stepped into another pile of shit.”

Dorian flinched, bumping into Merrill in the process. “Where?” he squawked. 

“Ah, my mistake,” Fenris said casually. “It was just some regular dirt.”

Rynne and Piper cackled, and Dorian scowled. “Very funny, Fenris. Kaffas.”

“Not this time, no,” he said. “Best watch your step, though.”

Dorian wrinkled his nose in disdain, and Piper playfully bumped him with her hip. “Oh Dorian, just take off your fucking boots already.” 

“And step barefoot into a pile of unidentifiable animal feces?” Dorian retorted. “No thank you.”

“Would it help if we identify the droppings first?” Merrill asked. “Because I can help with that.”

They all looked at her, and she smiled innocently in return. Dorian’s jaw dropped. “Merrill, are you making fun of me?” he asked incredulously.

Merrill giggled, and Piper laughed harder still while Cullen began to laugh as well. They continued to joke and tease each other as they wandered through the forest, and Rynne twined her fingers with Fenris’s.

“Aren’t you happy for Piper and Cullen?” she asked quietly.

He gave her a surprised look. “I am. Why do you ask that?”

She opened her mouth to reply, then paused. It was on the tip of her tongue to remark that his reaction to Piper and Cullen’s engagement was rather subdued, but it occurred to her now that his stoic response wasn’t unusual. Even when Fenris was amused, his smiles and laughter were quite muted. The only times he was really expressive was when he was angry or upset.

This was different with Rynne, of course. When she and Fenris were alone, he was far more demonstrative in his affections. He smiled more widely, and his hugs were tight and warm, and his laugh… Maker, the rare and treasured sound of his laugh was enough to make her melt every damned time. But even then, it was more common for him to reciprocate Rynne’s affectionate gestures than to initiate them. 

But Fenris and Piper were close in their own way, too. Rynne still remembered how she’d briefly envied their teasing camaraderie the first time she’d met them in the Lowtown market. Despite their obvious friendship, however, Fenris hadn’t even congratulated Piper on her engagement. And despite Rynne’s attempts to dismiss them, Anders’s words on the Lady Luck ran through her mind: Fenris doesn’t talk. Even Piper doesn’t know his story. You're the only one he really talks to. 

She hated to admit that Anders had a point, given how snarky he was about Fenris. And yet…

Fenris was gazing quizzically at her. Finally she shrugged. “No reason. Just checking,” she said.

“Hmm,” Fenris murmured. “I’m surprised you’re so pleased for them, in fact.”

She looked at him in surprise. “Why?”

“Because I thought…” He paused for a moment, then gave her a serious look. “I had assumed you were opposed to marriage, given what almost happened to you.”

“Oh! Well, I think it’s awful to be forced to marry someone,” she said. “Especially if that someone is thirty-odd years older than you with a reputation for mistreating his female servants. But two people who want to get married? And who can actually do it and not get shunned by their families for marrying below their station or marrying the wrong type of person or any of that shit?” She gazed at him with wide eyes. “Fenris, this is something I’ve only ever read about in stories. It’s the stuff of fantasies, literally. And a pirate wedding to boot? It’s going to be such fun!”

“You don’t even know what a pirate wedding will be like,” Fenris pointed out.

“I know it’s going to be nothing like the terrible stuffy weddings I’ve been to in Kirkwall,” she retorted. “That alone means it’s going to be fantastic. Besides, it’s Cullen and Piper! Whatever sort of wedding they have is going to be marvelous because they’re absolutely marvelous together.” 

Fenris shrugged. “I suppose.”

“Exactly,” Rynne said in satisfaction. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go pester the bride-to-be for details about what a pirate wedding looks like.” She grimaced. “Maker, I hope there are no heels or corsets involved.”

He huffed in amusement. “I would be shocked if there were.”

She grinned at him, then skipped back over to Piper, who was strolling hand-in-hand with Cullen. 

“So,” she said keenly. “How did you propose? Did Cullen burst into tears when you asked him? Tell me everything.”

Cullen gave her a chiding smile, and Piper grinned and ruffled her silvery cloud of hair. “Oh, you know, I was just looking at him with his shirt all half-opened and I thought to myself, ‘you know what would be nice? Having that fine body in my bed for the rest of my dastardly pirate life. Best make him marry me so he’ll get naked with me until the day I die.’” 

Cullen cleared his throat. “Excuse me, I, um. Why don’t I let you have this conversation on your own? I wasn’t finished, er, speaking to Fenris…” 

Piper and Rynne laughed as he fell back to join Fenris, and Rynne linked her arm companionably with Piper’s. “Really though, I’m so happy for you,” she said warmly. “You and Cullen have been like a fairytale since the moment we met.”

Piper grinned. “The lecherous pirate captain and the prim navy commander? I haven’t heard that fairytale before.”

Rynne chuckled. “Not that bit, maybe, but the way you look at him. And the way he looks at you!” She sighed dramatically and fanned herself. “I could tell how much you loved each other from that very first day.”

Piper scoffed. “What are you on about?”

“Remember when Cullen came to drag me back to Hightown?” Rynne said. “You saw him coming and you lit up like a lantern. And he took one look at you and his face went white because he was so worried you were going to be caught. It was so sweet, I thought my teeth would fall out.”

Piper scoffed again and poked her in the arm. “You’re such a romantic sap, you know that?”

Rynne laughed, but she noted fondly that the tips of Piper’s ears were turning pink again. Then Piper bumped her with her hip. “What about you and Fen, then? You were making eyes at him from the moment we met.”

“Oh, I know,” Rynne said with relish. “It wasn’t love at first sight because that’s nugshit, but it was definitely ‘he made my heart speed up from the second I looked at him and I want to know everything about him’ at first sight.”

Piper snorted a laugh. “That kind of sounds like love at first sight.”

Rynne suddenly perked up. “Actually, speaking of first sight – did you know that Fenris and I actually had seen each other before that day in the market?”

Piper’s eyes widened. “What? When?”

“A few weeks before,” she said. “I was standing at the mouth of the market trying to find the balls to go in even though my handmaids and my guard were with me, and I saw Fenris. He looked at me, completely by chance I think, and… he was frowning,” she said thoughtfully. “But for a split second, his face just… relaxed.” She pressed her hand to her chest. “I swear, Piper, I stopped breathing for a moment.” 

Piper smiled broadly at her, and Rynne rolled her eyes in a self-deprecating way. “I’m making an idiot of myself, aren’t I? I sound like a girl from a romance novel.”

“Yes, you do,” Piper said.

They both burst into laughter, and Piper elbowed her. “Ah, I’m just picking on you. I’m happy for you, really. And for Fen. Fuck knows he deserves to be happy.”

Rynne squeezed her arm. “He’s happy for you and Cullen, too.”

“Oh, I know,” Piper said. “That’s why he’s not saying anything. If he wasn’t happy, I’d hear all about it.” She snickered.

Rynne smiled, but with a little pang in her chest. Piper’s words were an odd echo of her earlier thoughts. 

A moment later, Piper shot her a little sideways look. “Do you ever find it strange?” she asked.

“Do I find what strange?” Rynne said.

Piper shrugged. “Being, you know.” She jerked her head to indicate Fenris and Cullen, who were talking quietly behind them, then lowered her voice. “Being, um, in love.”

“Oh, it’s extremely strange,” Rynne said earnestly. “I didn’t think I’d ever feel this way about anyone. Maker’s balls, I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance. I thought I’d end up as some old asshole’s breeding cow.”

Piper stared at her. “Fenedhis. Well, that’s fucking grim.”

“I know,” Rynne said matter-of-factly. “And look where I am instead! I’ve ended up with Fenris. And he’s just…” 

He’s everything, she thought. His intelligence, his snark, his anger and his tenderness… Maker’s balls, he was absolutely everything. His deep and thoughtful voice was the first thing she wanted to hear every morning, and the warm skin of his scarred and tattooed back was the last thing she wanted to feel before she fell asleep every night. 

Nothing could be worse than the thought of living without you, he’d told her. And Rynne felt exactly the same way about him. 

She smiled at Piper. “I never imagined this. I have an active imagination, believe me, but I didn’t imagine this.”

Piper cleared her throat. “Yeah,” she said gruffly. “I know what you mean.”

I know you do, Rynne thought fondly. Piper’s face was half-hidden by her gorgeous wavy hair, but Rynne could still see her smile. It was the same sort of smile that Cullen had when he and Piper had announced their engagement. It was the same sort of smile Fenris wore when he looked at her every night as they lay curled together in his spartan bed. 

Rynne leaned in a little closer. “Did you ever feel this way about anyone before Cullen?”

“No,” Piper said immediately and very firmly. “Not even a little bit. That’s why I want to marry him.”

“That’s a great fucking reason to marry someone,” Rynne said softly.

Piper shot her a tiny smile. “I like to think so.”

Rynne beamed at her. Just as she was about to start asking about pirate weddings, however, Piper looked up suddenly.

Up ahead, Merrill came to a stop and also looked up. Rynne looked at them both with wide eyes. “What’s–?”

Piper held up a hand, and Rynne closed her mouth. She glanced back at Fenris, and her heart did a little flip of alarm: he had also stopped, and his face turned in the same direction as Piper’s and Merrill’s.

“Something’s happening,” Piper murmured vaguely. “It’s…”

“Look out!” Dorian barked. A second later, a group of strange pirates burst from the waist-high ferns and attacked them. 

Rynne squealed in alarm and whipped out her dagger. She dodged swiftly away from the grasping hands of a swarthy female pirate, who cried out in agony when Piper’s épée sank through her gut.

An instant later, Fenris was by her side. “I will guard your back,” he snarled.

“All right,” she panted. A skinny but furious-looking man was advancing on her with a large sword in hand, and Rynne swiftly slid around to his sword-bearing side, forcing him to circle sideways to face her. He swung at her a few times, but his aim was haphazard and careless, and Rynne evaded him quite easily. 

He lashed out and grabbed her wrist, but Rynne quickly twisted her arm, forcing her attacker’s shoulder down into an awkward position. Once he was distracted, she jammed her blade into his eye. He released her with a howl of pain, and she stabbed him in the neck.

Then someone slammed into her side, ploughing her to the ground and knocking the air from her lungs. She struggled to breathe, but her attacker was on top of her and his meaty hand was shoving her head down and into the ground…  

Her heart was a panicked tattoo in her ears. Dirt and leaves were all she could see. Unable to see her attacker properly, she stabbed wildly backwards with her dagger, and a little bit of satisfaction diluted her panic when the blade grazed solid flesh. 

All at once, she was free. She gasped in a breath and scrambled onto her hands and knees. Fenris was crouched in front of her with his scimitar drawn, and her attacker was dead at his feet.

She quickly took stock of the others as she shakily shoved herself upright. Cullen and Piper were fighting back-to-back and taking on three pirates at once, and Dorian was driving his opponent back with a gilded dagger in each hand. As Rynne watched, Merrill darted toward her attacker and beneath his beefy arm before slashing a vicious gash across his belly with her shortsword. Blood poured from the wound, setting Rynne’s stomach to roiling, but there was no time to ruminate; there were two attackers left, and both of them were focused on Fenris, who was holding them off with his customary silent snarl. 

Rynne darted out from behind Fenris and kicked one of his opponents in the back of the knee, causing the woman’s leg to buckle and bringing her crashing to her knees. Before the woman could do more than gasp in surprise, Rynne stabbed her in the neck, then once more for good measure. By the time Rynne spun around to look at Fenris again, his remaining foe was dead. 

Rynne whipped around to the others to see if they needed help, but their enemies were dead as well: eleven dead pirates in total against their six. Maker’s balls, they’d been outnumbered. This could have been bad, and they hadn’t even seen it coming… 

Her stomach lurched, and she forced herself to breathe deeply through her lips so she wouldn’t vomit. It’s fine, she told herself firmly. We survived, we’re fine, everyone’s still standing, there’s no reason to be scared–

Fenris squeezed her shoulder. “Are you all right?” he demanded. His eyes were darting over her face and body for injuries. He was bloodied too, but with no major injuries that she could see. 

She took another deep breath, then smiled. “I’m fine,” she said. She pointed at the woman she’d just killed. “This dame here, not so much.”

Fenris let out a breath. “Venhedis,” he muttered. He gently stroked her neck before ushering her over to the others, who were searching the now-dead bodies.

Piper shoved her hair back and looked up at them as they approached. “They’re the same crew as that bunch from last night,” she said. She pointed to one of the dead men’s forearms, which bore a tattoo of a jackal’s head. “That’s Ianto’s sigil.”

“Shit,” Rynne breathed. 

“We should be prepared for more violence,” Cullen said. “Ianto’s people take prisoners, and I do not mean that in a positive way.”

Rynne shot him a guarded glance. His face was more stonelike and stern than she’d ever seen. “Have you had run-ins with him before?” she asked.

“Yes,” Cullen said curtly. “But now is not the time to elaborate. From now on, we should be more careful. More cautious of our surroundings.” 

His tone was slightly censorious, and Rynne’s belly twisted. Was she to blame for this attack? Had she and Piper been talking too loudly?

Fuck, she thought in dismay. But there was no time to apologize; Merrill was talking now in a worried tone. “We must be quick,” she said urgently. She looked at Piper and Fenris in turn. “You felt it before the attack, didn’t you? Something is wrong.”

“Wrong with what?” Dorian said.

“With the forest,” Merrill said tensely. “It was trying to send us a message. We have to help.”

“Help who?” Dorian said irritably. “Try and remember that you have three lumbering humans along for the journey.”

“The forest!” Merrill said impatiently. “The spirit that’s calling to us, the spirit of–”

“Fen’Harel doesn’t exist,” Fenris snapped. 

Rynne stepped close to him and soothingly stroked his arm, but Merrill glared at him. “Say whatever you like, Fenris, but you can’t ignore this. You felt it too.” She turned to Piper. “Please, Captain. We have to hurry.”

Piper nodded, and Merrill relaxed slightly. “This way,” she said to them all, and she set off at a brisk jog. 

They all fell into step behind her. No one spoke for a time, which didn’t help the ominous wriggling feeling in Rynne’s belly; she would have much preferred if everyone was joking around like they had done before, but if Cullen thought they needed to be quiet… 

She chewed her lip to stop herself from speaking. When Fenris broke the silence and spoke to her, she was pathetically grateful.

“You handled yourself well,” he said quietly. 

She shot him a smile. “You smooth talker. That’ll get you everywhere with me.”

He continued to frown at her. “When we run into the rest of these slavers, stay by my side,” he said. “I will keep you safe.”

“Maybe I’ll be the one keeping you safe,” Rynne replied. “I handle myself quite well, you know. Someone extremely smart and handsome once told me that.”

To Rynne’s pleasure, the corner of his mouth quirked in a tiny smile. “You are truly irrepressible,” he murmured.

“I try,” she said cheerfully. After all, what other choice was there but to keep trying and hoping for the best? 

She took Fenris’s hand as they continued to lope along in Merrill’s wake. It’s going to be fine, she thought. She and the others would keep fighting and staying safe, and they were going to discover the source of this mystery voice and find some lovely treasure like Piper said, and everything was going to be fine. 

Everything was going to be absolutely fine, just like it always was.

Pick up from Cullen’s POV on AO3!

#where the winds of fortune take me #pirate au #cullen rutherford #fenris #cullen/lavellan #cullen x lavellan #cullavellan #piperford #fenhawke #fenris/hawke #fenris x hawke #fenris/f!hawke #fenris x femhawke #fenris x f!hawke #fenris/femhawke #fenrynne #pikapeppa writes #schoute draws #pikascout

[ahiddenpath]

AU Collection Blathering

I’mma chat about my AU collection fic ideas beneath the cut!

PS:  You can totally still send me prompts!

I jotted down some ideas for the fic’s name today:

As much as I like Kaleidoscope and Motley Yarns (arrrrr, matey), I’m leaning towards Sea of Bottles.  But...  I’m not sure if my meaning is clear?  The idea is that each bottle contains an AU.  Stories in a bottle, sent from you to me (via prompts) and back (via updates).

Motley Yarns is really great, though.  And Kaleidoscope is a very sensible name for an AU collection...  

I could use some help.  What would you pick???

Here are the stories I’m planning so far:

Puits D’Amour

Requested by: me, myself, and I

AU: bakery/royalty

Characters/pairing: Sorato

Setting: Non-specific old-timey vaguely Japan?  Or maybe vaguely France.

Summary:

Yamato is the product of a highly political royal marriage.  His parents wed after a period of strife between two countries, cementing the tenuous peace.  He and his younger brother were raised in both locations as visible, living symbols of good will. 

But when Yamato reached adulthood, he was made to focus on the country he will someday rule, while his brother settled into the other country to serve as a symbol.  When Yamato visits the other country after years away, his return balloons into a spectacle, much to his dismay.

This is all background noise to Sora, a woman who owns and runs her own bakery with a few friends.  When a man rushes into her kitchen one day, looking like a cat who wants to scramble under a bed, she takes pity on him and feeds him in the back...

Read My Lips

Requested by: @missroxiepluto

AU: bookshop

Characters/pairing: Daiken

Setting:  Modern day Tokyo

Summary:

Takeru drags Daisuke to a used book store to browse for a vintage specimen he’s coveting.  Daisuke just wants some damned lunch, thank you very much, but his tide of complaints breaks at the sight of the unreasonably cute employee who helps Takeru find his book.

Days later, Daisuke finds himself asking Takeru if he needs another book.  Takeru, being his troll lord mischief self, is able to connect the dots... and decides against telling Daisuke that he knows Ken and could easily set them up.

Because where’s the fun in that?

Confident Queens

Requested by: @wimzik

AU: youtuber

Characters/pairing: Mimi and Eimi

Setting:  Modern day Tokyo

Summary:

Mimi’s Youtube channel, Confident Queens, is all about making women feel confident and well, covering topics such as: makeup, hair care, dressing and personal style, work place tips, mental health, meditation, exercise, and more.  Eimi loves her content and is drawn to Mimi’s vibrant, upbeat personality, but despite her best efforts, she doesn’t seem to be growing more confident.

Once day, Mimi announces a local contest, and the prize is a personal makeup and style consultation.  Eimi writes in, explaining that she really wants to approach her crush, but doesn’t know where to start.  Her letter is so sweet and earnest that Mimi can’t help choosing her.  But Eimi soon learns that she might have taken on more than she can handle...!

That’s what I am planning so far!  Big thanks to everyone who left suggestions.  I am still accepting prompts, so hit me if you have ideas (guidelines here)!  Do let me know which name you like best for the fic itself, too, I’m rather stuck on that.

#AU collection #alternate universe #AU #fanfiction #digimon fanfiction

[captainkurosolaire]

Forever Isn’t Never

(Finale! Of the Black Devil Saga. This was written almost out of tv movie-size so gave cut. Also with some of the bold lines there will be hidden-links of music to fit the temporarily mood of that moment in scene. Shouts to the players who played supportive roles in building up the scene and overall creating a means of survival and credit to the artists and composers of the songs linked)                                                                                         -  Behind the Monocle.

Falling... fading... soundless. Then in suddenness pain that once prolonged was overly diminished. Though he swore and revisited the memory of the cold-noble once again, bearing stricken with that rapier directly on contact. The silver rapier of the noble was held by his white-gloved hands and given a wipe down from the puncture that was not taken in a lethal spot. This was all calculated, for you might ask, ‘why’. The Mol’usa carried by the Lord was no some a-typical weaponry it was refined for excellence. It held the distinct unique attribute or so claimed to alter ONE of the Five Senses upon first-strike but at random. This allowed an intelligent mind to strategically dissect a battle or morph it into their design depending on the handicap, though they had no control over which, sense was stripped from a foe. The cold noble held no qualm even here, there was a gamble taken to his rival that wouldn’t be shared. It seemed the pirate managed to survive this long among luck alone out of percentage rates, what more could it hurt to spin against the fate’s wheel again?

 He was certain that either way uselessness would be met from the pirate that’d this encounter would surely most likely be soloed anyway out of his abundance of egotistical pride.

By surmising the Captain wasn’t complaining in pain with cries of agony or mumbling it. All the answers were spoken of which of the senses were extracted temporarily. “Are you just going to lay there?” Palms of the pirate wiggled and clawed out at the crag soils the emptiness of the plane. Before he stood looking himself over everywhere, painless, nothing was felt. A lightness felt that caused him to spring upward in a feathery jump. The crude and icy Lord gave piercing hues towards the buffoon, “What you were hit just now was a superior esteemed weapon cased by the Elite of Ishgard. You are currently experiencing the effects to be blessed to be hit by me, while also cursed, as the fact remains you’re still inferior... Your sense of Touch has been lost, you are not invincible despite you may feel otherwise. Its an illusion. All you were faded and dampened this is no different than currently being heavily dosed and pumped with potent medicinal pills and herbs. -- Now, since I have you on your feet. Our advisories are still waging again another one another before they regain reality themselves, I advise you become useful, I require a sword. But.., seeing how you’re weaponless. It’s mighty fine that we’re connected to the Void and I brought an old familiar gift.” Pulling off his white-tuxedo jacket and wrapping it up he’d give it a toss a strapped on and hooked set of scimitars remained nestled for the ruffian to uncover with old roots. One of the many relics that caught them in this mess and warranted the attention of these same monstrosities. This one in particular was of the First collected in the Captain’s ventures long ago. Mhachi Gems remained in the hilts and allowed the absorption and siphoning of a Voidal’s own energy with each strike successful after three hits it could entirely drain a fiend in storage or be used to transfer the aether between a Voidal to another or saved in stock.

“Alrighte, matey. I think this’ll do well. Ye can be shown how its done! You just stand and look like a pretty princess, I got this!”  Spinning the old dual-wielded weapons in a twirl before scurrying off and giving a jolly set of laughter to hide bravery his true emotions. A heavy eye-roll induced between the noble and a small aneurysm between the brain was mixed in as his words were thrown to dust by the over-zealous rule breaker and none-caring reckless mongrel of a pirate. The voidal duo currently were slamming each-other back and forth and countering beam struggles with one another constantly matching while one of the older was trying to hold back from using the blunt of his power but becoming irritated how one mage managed to treat them like entire nuisances in their own landscape this was intolerable...unacceptable! It could see the look of acceptance emitting from the blood-gem etched into its brethren forehead. It gave plead to allow its older to digest and devour its younger to become the avenger required. Overpowering and pinning it’d take bite while wrapping its tentacles, wings, tails all around and feasting the nutrients. Empowering in a sinister that begun chaotically creating a vibrant and trip-twisted storm. It wouldn’t stop until there was nothing left to extract and being merged with an unbridled amount of aether to spare. Tremors shocked the realm and a ominous wind crept through the air of foreboding.

By the time Kuro arrived and saw the shift surrounding... “Why do I get myself into these situations, I thought they made Warriors for these? Damn ye...” Giving a look over towards his newly imbued scimitars.Though he couldn’t feel the effects of what was transpiring feeling even more courageous than before with the lack of touch in his sensory. This was a well-placed lesson to the sins of the men. Hearing the demon form in seething hatred, “....I’ll...Give You.. Realization.” A cosmic set of speed-settling in and rushing towards the Captain. He coiled and gripped tighter. Shiro shot out in a sprint, “MOVE YOU IDIOT!” The Keeper would twirl his rapier like a cane and form a set of obstacles and branches of quickly-crafted ice walls that were being shattered through. Kuro took his sprint he needed to somehow create a means to land a few hits and dampen. Rummaging through his satchel in automation in hasten popping pins of smoke grenades and anything and chunking them everywhere. It was doubtful they’d do much but then again his aether was so weak that the Voidsent have shown they were proficient at readying such a pathetic amount. This rage seemed to be favorable. As Shiro continued to build up defense and distractions constantly creating a course only riling up the hatred already being brimmed. Landing down it’d begin attempting to shatter a close dome around Shiro that was crafted using the previous set of water from the clones of Kuro previously to hold him off and catching an extra set of ice towards the fists. His beholding eyes of piercing blue boldly looked towards the demon in disgust even as his face begun to split apart in horror to four sets of eyes and becoming unrecognizable.

The small window opened and Kuro came as an opportunist throwing one of the scimitars and slicing off the tail and then using his Ghost-Step (Shukuchi) to catch it back using a boomerang effect. A stammering escaped before turning with one hand a big bundle of blast. Shiro used the ice previously to seal up the imbecile as a temporarily ward but reopening the wound from previously to soak up while still holding. The Voidal’s aether with that one hit already felt half as potent before. Coming now out of its senseless and mindless rage to know what was acquired in those foul hand’s of the scoundrel. The stolen relics! Which redirected his attentions towards the pirate. Taking flight and starting to bombard a endless volley as the Captain had no way to get out of this one he’d throw back the relics and hook them with his feline tail and brace himself for impact. Shiro howled back in his own frustration to break his only set of defense into a scatter-gun of shards that were sent back to hit against some of the volley and also catch the Voidal in his wings. Though they were unintentionally doing it, they were working together! And... That was saying something for even in previous carnations the Fates had depicted a carved tablet in unspoken tales of a White Wolf and the Black Lion constantly to be waged historically. Though THE fight of preservation! Atonement - Survival! It was all ON THE LINE. The souls of indifference UNITED. Bound to cause... As if the Sun and the Moon intersect and created an Eclipse and within that moment nothing else mattered. As if the the elements between Light and Darkness bound to gather to form a higher form of creation bigger than itself of Life’s wonders. Here...

Even in the grim unknown, the, secondary name for ‘end’. The roots of change blossomed and HOPE were melding together into one. Broke out to impale despair, depravity, demise, devour, destruction. Terror would be KNOWN to fear against its own trade product! Plummeting down from altitude towards a spiraling crash. Grunts and battle-cries echoed throughout, Kuro ran swiftly with those light-steps while Shiro created an ice-skating surface to quicken as he’d once again get a direct strike between the back side of the Demon which spun around hissing another hefty amount of aether was extracted. Shiro’s piercing stare never-leaving towards the same disgusting creature unknowingly slowing lowly atoms around the atmosphere towards his target when looked back at. The Demon saw before them while being backed up in the corner holding and licking its wound in a step back. As if it could see the glimpses of their spirits manifest. Howling and Roaring for the meal, -- It.

A lasting dash with all his might and energy Kuro up-roared before charging, “FUCK YER TROUBLE, I DON’T WANT ANY! I GOT ENOUGH CHAOS. HAVE A TASTE!!!” A weakened catch to the pirate’s wrist was caught preventing him from being pierced another punch that was known as a nasty upper-hook came barging forward. But it was his tail that was still holding to the other special scimitar! He’d launch it up and re-grip the fiends clutch with all his virile exposed as muscles tensed and bulged, Shiro would freeze them together for unity. The throwing of the scimitar launched forward. Before Shiro would create another ice-layer wall above to ricochet forward into the direct skull of the demon it started sucking up all his aether into the weapon like an aetherfeeder.

While tormented pain was shooting throughout the tormentor the inquisitive mind of the fellow ex-Mhachi and student’s wisdom knew of the regeneration of this particular Voidsent on the hierarchy depriving it of its energy wouldn’t make it cease... No, to beat this threat. Even Captain knew who studied alongside those who crafted the only way to end them was two methods was either Banishment... Or complete obliteration! Slowly in elegant struts he’d pick up the old broken hilt of the scimitars used by Kuro that was useless to most and draw behind the Voidsent and then mold in shape and creation his purest and drawn ice throughout the cellular level of the vile organism that internally and externally started surrounding he’d manipulatively break the old weaker ice with a digit-snap allowing Kuro to stammer back until all that was left was a sculpted figurine statue encased in petrify. The worst thing was the four-eyed stare of being still responsive and alert this high-level threat knew what was happening when imprisoned. But nothing could be mustered or managed out especially with all the aether being drawn it kept funneling into the Relic Scimitar like a sponge! The Captain knew what this was this was where he shined, crackling back his knuckles, methodically. “Seems I’m out of retirement! A shattering punch just for you ordered up! This comes from humanity! We don’t have ANY time for yer shite we got enough flaws! Ye aren’t needed to be anyone’s REMINDER!” His forearm runic designs glowing drawing out in a emotional set of anger before clashing before against the ice and breaking with immensity into crumbles shattering and splintering the pieces all over, what was formed. Was sent out of existence, no return, no thought, was left deserving of the devil. Giving one last victory call-out before giving two middle fingers by the crude Captain before he’d slumming fade to injuries and pass out. The noble shook his head to the bravado showing. “Imbecile...” Once his rival was collapsed there was a notion to leave him in the space forever but an amused smirk passed him a little entertained. “Let us return, you fared well...”  He namely was departing this site for his own personal agenda’s least that’s what often a noble of his stature would think. But somewhere... Beyond even his mental understanding. A hint of respect was formed. Perhaps he found someone worthy to constantly battle, maybe he could even finally be surpassed and know defeat? Only the  Noble VS Pirate Grand Goldbrand Budokai! Upcoming held the lines of a future where these two combatants and rivals would WAGE to prove who was truly superior, which ways were correct. ORDER VS FREEDOM! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [BLACK  DEVIL SAGA] [Prelude Reference : Forever Destined] ~ Master-List of Previous Chapters

#Captain Kuro Solaire #Lord Shiro Elune #Black Devil Saga #Outro song reflects the end of the Saga more so than the new Arc #Original Writes #Tales of the Goldbrand #Black Lion #White Wolf #Opposites #Rivals #Coming together to spank demons #Pirates #Nobles #7 Sins #Devil's Bane #Angel's Aegis #Shouts out #Shur Kha #Crew #Cinna #Ayla Moenwyb #Sivir #Sol Akami #Kahzoo #Musical Writes #I wanted to HBO this #Thanks for the supports #Would have ree quit or found lack of motivation to get through the end without the peeps #I love you all #Not sure if I'll do Epliogue but we'll see

[emmagannonuk]

i blame carrie bradsaw

“Simply walking along with a takeaway coffee in your hand turns you into a belligerent fantasist. You feel like a VITAL cast member of Sex & The City, when of course, really, you're just a schmoo with a brew.” -- Caitlin Moran

Oh no, I’m a walking talking cliche, feeling like a Gal About Town sat in the lobby of a trendy New York hotel getting quite tipsy (it’s 3pm on Friday and my flight is a few hours) and writing a blog. Yes, I am that person who drinks before a flight (if I can, and if it’s a socially-acceptable slash chic enough hour to not look unhinged). I just had a quick scan of this lobby, and everyone is drinking, so, I don’t look like the odd one out, thankfully. Getting tipsy (not drunk) before a flight makes me feel less anxious (the hypnotherapy didn’t work! boo!), and also makes me fall asleep quicker, so win win. 

I’ve had the best 10 days in New York. To the point where I am like, can you fundamentally be changed in 10 days? Am I going home a different person? Maybe that’s possible. Maybe you can go away for 10 days and come back slightly different. I can’t stop thinking about that new Paul Rudd Netflix show “Living With Myself” because it taps into this tempting idea of Our Best Self vs Our Average-To-Poor Self. I just texted my sister to say: “I think I am my best self here??” She replied being like “what do you mean??” I was like “I don’t know??”

I guess we are changing and adapting every single day and you could argue that you don’t wake up as ~the same person~ each morning anyway. Symbolised through our hair, we have good days and bad days. Every single day, we are shaped and moulded and scarred, both renewed and slightly more beaten down. We might be inching closer to death as we age, but perhaps we are also becoming closer to being ourselves.

I saw a palm reader while I was here. I don’t give care if people think it’s woo-woo. I also don’t care if it’s a scam, because all that matters is that the person (which is me, in this case) is going into it wanting to do it. My palm reader was an older lady wearing a headscarf who didn’t smile and as I sat down nervously she said ‘how long have you had that headache?’ and my eyes nearly popped with surprise because I’d had a pumping headache all morning from the anti-biotics I was taking, and from crying out all the H20 in my body at the 9/11 museum. So, obviously I felt like a see-through piece of paper and it meant I started believing all the other stuff she was starting to tell me. My past life. My relationship. My family. My future. My finances. My barriers. I won’t share here what she told me. But, good news: it didn’t totally freak me out. Quite the opposite. It made me feel stable. Good. Relaxed. Certain things in my life, she said, will never be a problem. But, there are certain things that I need to keep a very careful eye on. There is something lacking in my life, she said. She raised an eyebrow. She knew. And I knew. She gave me some more information, she sold me two crystals and told me to put them under my pillow. She also told me not to eat meat or dairy for a few days but then I might have accidentally stop off at Chipotle on the way home. 

The energy in New York is different. The actual vibrations of the city are stronger, louder, faster. Like that Kanye West song. Practically everyone is swaggering around with a brew in hand and sunglasses because most people have chosen to live here. There is a “I made it to NYC, bitch” kind of attitude. A sign of success for so many people. That’s not to say I didn’t see a lot of lost souls wandering the aisles of WholeFoods with sad eyes searching for $20 salads. But on the whole, there is an attitude of LET’S DO THIS. I might be generalising, but in the UK I’m not usually met with this level of enthusiasm. Back home, people say things like ‘wow you’re brave!’ while swigging a drink when you talk about being self-employed, or they say “oof, eek, good luck with that matey!” when you share a new big idea -- but here, in NYC, people are like: “sounds GREAT, I think I know someone who could help???” 

I made impromptu plans with people and we did really great fun stuff. Back in London making a plan often requires a Doodle poll and someone saying: “hi babe!!!! I think I could do Feb 2020, week commencing the 5th, for half an hour????”

I went to a Max Richter concert with my friend Clemmie and realised (late to the game) that listening to classical music live is basically listening to a sound bath and it clears out the dregs of your mind. I went to Jimmy Kimmel live, and I felt like a nerd in my element watching how the production and crew made it all happen. A smooth operation, and a really funny show. I went to an event at The Wing, where Liv Little was speaking about building Gal Dem and representation/misrepresentation in the media, and then a small group of us when to the best dumpling place I’ve ever been to, they were called ‘soup’ Dumplings because the delicious soupy goodness explodes in your mouth. I did a book event (COUGH COUGH my book comes out soon in America) with Manrepeller which felt super special having followed Leandra Medine’s career journey since my early twenties. I bumped into a good friend who I’d gone to NYC with 10 years prior. I kept hearing songs in cafés that reminded me of my twenties. I guess a lot of things felt ‘full circle’. 

Thirty, flirting and thriving!

But seriously, being thirty is great.

E xo

#newyork

[if-i-want-to-dance]

Dance with Devils Headcanons for the boys going lingerie shopping with their S/O for the first time

Shoutout to my irl friend who helped me with this! The first time I write it out, it ended up kind of awkwardly written the first couple shots I took, and she helped me out with it a lot, so thanks for that!!!!

Rem

-Rem has never done this in his life. Ever.

-He walks into the store. There’s so much... lace... and ribbons... Rem.exe has stopped working.

-It’s honestly just funny to see Rem like this. He just stares around, clearly completely at a loss for what he’s supposed to do.

-You grab his hand and he jumps ever so slightly.

-He makes few, if any suggestions, but they tend to lean towards being lacy and white or blue.

-Once you’ve picked out the bras, you ask Rem to run a quick errand to another store and take a look for lingerie. What does you like? You end up picking out an elaborate lacy bra, matching garter belt, and underwear. It’s not quite your thing, but it looks like something he’d like.

-Rem returns and you show him your choices. “While that’s nice... are you sure you like it?”

“...It’s not for me, though, really?”

“You’re the one wearing it. Do you like it?”

-“I... it’s not exactly...”

-Rem leans forward and kisses the top of your head. “While I do appreciate it, you should pick something you like. Why don’t you get dressed and come out again and we’ll take another look?”

-Rem guides you around the room, pointing out items and asking what you like the look of. You take a look at a few items, but nothing really jumps out at you.

-You pull a silky, lacy ice blue chemise off a hanger and hold it up to your body. “Um... I like this. Do you think...”

-Rem stares for a moment. His cheeks turn pink. “I...” His face returns to his usual expression. “I think that suits you very nicely.”

-You add the chemise and some lacy garters to your purchases. 

Urie

-Let’s be honest with ourselves. It’s extremely unlikely Urie hasn’t shopped with someone for bras or some type of lingerie before.

-He’s completely comfortable making suggestions and going through the displays and drawers of bras. He’s also super practical about suggesting bras. Do you have a big rack and need support? He makes sure you’re picking things based on practicality first., looks second. As far as looks go, he suggests a wide variety of bras, from cutesy stuff with frills and bows to sexy stuff that barely covers anything.

-A small part of you starts to wonder how many girls he’s done this with before. How many he’s suggested bras to. How many girls he’s seen in their bras and lingerie. How many he’s taken that lingerie off of. 

-After you’ve picked out the bras you need to try on, you locate several items of lingerie while Urie’s not looking and head to the changing room.

-When you step out of the lacy red bustier and matching underwear, Urie’s smile tightens slightly. “Er... Butterfly.”

Your chest tightens.

“You are lovely. And this bustier is lovely. But it doesn’t quite seem like your style.”

-”...I thought you’d like it.”

“But do you? There’s no point in wearing something to impress me if you don’t feel comfortable in it.”

You stare at the ground and quietly confess how you’ve been feeling.

-Urie steps forward and pats your head. “That’s a very reasonable way to feel. But I don’t want them - why would I want them when I can have you? Now, why don’t you take that off and I’ll find you something that suits you.”

-He ends up returning with a pretty silky, pale pink babydoll. “What do you think? Do you like this?”

You nod.

Mage

-The bras don’t bite, Mage.”

He says nothing and his eyes continue to rove, looking for a safe place to land and finding new horrors no matter what way he turns.

-There’s terminology for the types of bras. Why? Why does underwear need so many types?

-What? Are those underwear? That’s just a couple strings!

-You hold up a pink bra with little bows on it. “What do you think of this one?” Mage turns absolutely scarlet and pushes your hand down. “Oy! Not so loud!” He doesn’t want anyone else to get the mental image he just did 

-Eventually, he gets over his discomfort and ends up suggesting you try some stuff he likes the look of. And when I say some, I mean it takes two people to carry it to the changing room.

-You end up trying on his suggestions and none of them really suit your style.

- “Um, Mage? I don’t think any of this stuff really works for me...” You set down the bra he suggested and move towards a display with some other styles.

- “W-what’s wrong with any of this?” demands Mage.

“Nothing’s wrong with it, exactly. It’s just not my thing,” you say.

“What? Don’t you just wear this stuff for me anyway?”

-You turn around slowly. “Mage. You think I don’t wear bras outside of trying to impress you?” You pull a lacy bra off the rack and hold it up. “Look at the way these places market themselves. You think they’re trying to appeal to men, who never actually wear their products?”

“Uh...”

“I do take into account what you like. It’s not unimportant to me. But I’m also going to be wearing this. How about we look together for something we both like?”

-Mage and you work together to pick out something you both like, but he never bothers you about it again, strangely enough.

Shiki

-Shiki doesn’t care what underwear you wear. You practically have to drag him into the store. He just stands around, bored and asking to go home.

-He does perk up when he sees you hold up several bras which are white or pastel colors, in simple styles. He remarks how innocent you would look in them.

-He usually prefers you to look innocent and cute rather than sexy. He definitely wouldn’t say no to the second, but his perverted, sadistic side likes the idea of dirtying something innocent.

-Until he spies some other odds and ends in the store that are more his speed certain lingerie stores sell handcuffs and things along those lines let’s just leave it at that. Things go quickly... downhill from there.

-You are both summarily kicked out of the store and banned.

Lindo

-Lindo has faced many, many foes in his life. Vampires, devils, the works. And yet somehow, a store for underwear makes some small part of him want to turn tail and run.

-Not that he’d let you in on this. He walks into the store holding your hand - and very pointedly staring ahead and not looking to the left or right at any of the displays or posters or at any of the other customers.

-He’s outwardly pretty calm until you hold up a lacy red push up bra. “Lindo, what do you think?”

-Lindo.exe has stopped working.

-Once you’ve both been in the store for a while, he grows a bit more relaxed with the situation. He picks up a thong from one of the displays and holds the actual fabric part in front of his eye. “Aye, Matey!” You both start laughing.

-He end up suggesting a few things, but his suggestions are more on the practical side than about the actual appearance of what you’re buying.

“If you’re wearing this every day, these glittery bits are definitely going to leave a pattern in your shirt, is that going to be a problem?”

“Is that bra going to provide enough support for you?”

Roen

-He’s new to this and doesn’t know how it works, but just sees it as another thing that has to be done.

-He’s completed unfazed by how suggestive some of the displays are though you do catch him rolling his eyes ever so often because he thinks it’s so silly. His eyes don’t wander and you don’t see him so much glance at the pictures of scantily clad models on the wall.

-Throughout the entire shopping trip, he’s composed and doesn’t seem affected by anything around him.

-Then you get to the dressing room and find several bras in your arms that you don’t remember selecting. They’re all simple in style, but look good on you.

-You can’t help but notice Roen smirk when you emerge with one of the mystery bras in your “to buy” pile.

#dance with devils #dance with devils imagines #dance with devils headcannons #dance with devils headcanons #rem arlond #rem kaginuki #urie sogami #shiki natsumezaka #mage nanashiro #roen #roen lilyknight #lindo tachibana

[idiopath-fic-smile]

Fic: The Curious Case of L’Ami

Fandom: Les Mis/Starship Iris crossover

Pairing: Enjolras/Grantaire

Summary: Some say L’Ami is a legend, a figment of a void-addled imagination, like that former gambling boat turned ghost ship, or the giant astral squids floating in The Deep.

Notes: Commission for Brynn. (Prompt: Enjolras, Grantaire, and any other amis that strike your fancy in the Starship Iris universe.)

Fic: 

Officially, Adrien Enjolras and his fellow conspirators are dead, killed in an accidental explosion during the failed student protests of 2180. No bodies were ever recovered from the site, but there are eyewitnesses, death certificates, security camera footage which places Enjolras and the others at the scene moments before the fatal detonation.

Unofficially, though--Mathieu Combeferre was always top of the class when it came to hacking video feeds, and it’s true that during his brief stint at the school’s drama department, Sebastien Courfeyrac demonstrated an almost disturbing flair for pyrotechnics.

Beyond that, well, people have a knack for seeing what they expect to see.

Enjolras hates being called a pirate, so naturally, Grantaire does it as much he can.

“What we do is not piracy,” Enjolras insists at dinner that evening. They’re down to only protein tablets again, but Bossuet insists on nightly crew meals anyway, citing some half-remembered psychology paper on the importance of group cohesion. “They were out for gold--”

“--and glory,” Bahorel cuts in.

“And other, non-gold forms of wealth,” Prouvaire offers from the corner, where he’s sharpening knives. “Jewels. Silver. Tobacco.”

“Really, this piracy thing is sounding better and better all the time,” Grantaire declares. “And we haven’t even gone into the clothes yet. Those long swoopy coats? Those hats? They don’t even make saboteur hats.”

“Not yet, they don’t,” says Joly, a needle and thread in his hands and a troubling gleam in his eyes.

Some say L’Ami is a legend, a figment of a void-addled imagination, like that former gambling boat turned ghost ship, or the giant astral squids floating in The Deep.

Others claim to have seen it firsthand. These people are, for the most part, lying.

Feuilly and Musichetta worked for many hours in Joly’s lab to create a series of light wave-neutralizing panels which, when applied to the outside of the ship, render it close to invisible in flight. Scanners are a little harder to fool, but it’s not impossible to scatter a signal, and anyway, Combeferre didn’t get his reputation for nothing.

When the Regime’s local radio fails, when a supply line breaks down, when a piece of unjammable IGR tech becomes hopelessly jammed, when satellites plummet from the sky like shooting stars, a low-level lackey will sometimes blame the crew of L’Ami. Sometimes, this person will be correct.

The thing is, sometimes they’re wrong. Sometimes, the resistance comes from much closer to home: orders not carried out, protocol ignored, a devastating weapon left to suffer a mysterious number of production setbacks. When a simple functionary of the Regime acts out of conscience, allows the gears of the machinery to grind close to breaking, even for a moment, L’Ami is there to take the blame. That’s half the reason it exists.

Grantaire calls it The Good Ship Plausible Deniability, but that’s just Grantaire.

Éponine has a job for them. This is not unusual; Éponine is the one with the most contacts on the ground. Scouring the ‘net is one thing, but she’s the one who picks up on the whispers, the thoughts nobody dares commit to keyboards or transcribers.

A prominent politician on New Jupiter has been working with the mafia since before Neuzo.

“The Estonians?” asks Bahorel; “The Sicilians?”

“More small-time than that,” Éponine tells him. “They call themselves the Jondrettes.”

Cosette turns from her pilot’s chair to frown at Éponine. The two share several seconds of complex eye contact, the kind with multiple layers of meaning, and then Cosette reaches up and squeezes Éponine’s shoulder, supportive.

“We go back a ways,” Éponine explains to the others. “But it’s fine. Won’t be an issue.”

“Are you sure,” says Enjolras.

Éponine smiles wolfishly. “I think Bossuet would say it’ll be good for my sense of closure.”

The mission is complicated. Wiretapping mob lines from the air is a no-go; criminals have the best encryption on the market. Planting a bug in-person means infiltrating either the Jondrettes’ headquarters, or the offices of a minor chancellor.

“Chancellor’ll have less security,” Bahorel points out. “Fewer armed guards--”

“But we’ll need a better cover story,” Éponine finishes. “High clearance. You know what that means.”

Enjolras does.

Grantaire shows up to the briefing wearing thick black eyeliner. “It’s my form of protest,” he explains. “I will rock this look until you at least give me a small plank to walk people off.”

Enjolras, who has consumed more piratical factoids than he’d really care to admit, says absently, “They didn’t even do that” before he’s thought better of it.

“Aha!” Grantaire shouts. “So by not allowing me a plank, you admit we’re pirates!”

“In other news,” Courfeyrac interjects brightly, “the briefing!”

To pull off this latest mission, the crew will need at least two sets of convincing ident cards, badges, and scannable contact lenses to create the illusion of a bodyguard and a mid-level aide. (Bahorel and Courfeyrac, respectively. Éponine is out due to the chance she could be recognized by one of Jondrette’s thugs. It remains to be seen if the Chancellor is brazen enough to invite known criminals directly to his office, but it’s not beyond the realm of possibility.)

“Simple,” says Grantaire. “Child’s play. A grievous waste of my talents. I could be counterfeiting money on a tropical planet, sipping absurdly conceptual cocktails on a hover-beach, and here I am instead--” “And why is that, exactly?” Enjolras fires back. Grantaire just shrugs one easy shoulder, eyes shockingly blue against all that black. It reminds Enjolras of the way Earth stands out in photos taken from space.

“Who’s got the attention span to stay put?” Grantaire replies. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my quarters.” He reaches the door, spins, and adds with a grin, “mateys.”

The irritating thing about Grantaire--and there are many, but the chief one among Enjolras’s concerns--is that it is almost impossible to get a straight answer out of him.

Grantaire of a dozen years ago would never so casually take orders, would certainly never then turn around and perform the tasks required. Maybe he just prefers fucking shit up over trying to rally the people. But then again, the work Grantaire does--falsifying records, forging credentials, crafting careful replicas of retinas--is not just an act of creation but an act of incredible precision.

Everyone aboard L’Ami has made sacrifices. Everyone left behind people, places, the chance for anything resembling a steady life. They are all legally dead, after all. Most did it from a place of deep conviction, the same conviction that once drove them to pledge their lives to the cause back on Corinth.

Grantaire was not one of them then. The only change between those days and the day Grantaire chose to run with them was the total failure of the student uprisings.

Why this, why now? Certainly, Enjolras has other things to think about. They’ll need more rations soon, and both Cosette and Feuilly have been after him about some new engine part that should be able to up their speed by something like fifteen percent. Combeferre is only a year’s worth of work away from being able to implant a virus inside the Regime’s intra-government mail system. Courfeyrac’s disguises get more promising every day. And if nothing else, there’s an endless expanse of stars out the window, endless thoughts to have about the scope of the universe and the promise of a brighter dawn.

Most of the time, this is more than enough to keep his mind occupied.

Most of the time.

Enjolras is waiting by the comms when word comes that the plan’s gone south. Fifteen minutes after Courfeyrac successfully managed to slip into the Chancellor’s office and plant the bug inside of his desk, Bahorel was spotted and recognized by a freelance guard.

“How,” says Cosette, calm tone belying her white knuckles on the dashboard.

“Not sure.” Courfeyrac’s voice comes in a whisper; from the sounds of it, he’s ducked behind a corner. “I know he was on the amateur boxing circuit, back in the day--”

The name on Bahorel’s ident card won’t match up with the name he went by then. It’s a matter of time until the small talk branches off into questions and they are discovered.

Enjolras has to fix this. It was his call to send Courfeyrac and Bahorel, his call that put them in danger. He paces the cockpit.

“I’m going in after them,” he announces.

“No,” says a voice from the doorway. Grantaire is standing there, shoulders tense, still wearing that ridiculous eyeliner. “We don’t have the numbers for a confrontation.” His voice is quiet, devoid of irony or sarcasm. Somehow, that’s the strangest part of the whole scene.

“I’ll keep it covert,” Enjolras says. “I’ll pretend to be Bahorel’s superior--we’ve still got that spare IGR uniform, right?”

“We do, but we’d still need a new ID for you,” Combeferre replies. “It’s the same problem.”

“The guard’s less likely to check the credentials of a superior, you know that,” Enjolras snaps. Every second they debate is a second Courfeyrac and Bahorel lose.

“Let someone else do it,” Grantaire adds, grave. “We’ve got four or five working aliases between us--”

“Nobody with the clearance to extract them,” says Enjolras. He sighs, rakes his fingers through his hair. “How fast can you make a new ID, Grantaire.”

Grantaire shakes his head. “Not fast enough.” “Then I’ll have to go without.”

“Please don’t do this, Captain.” Grantaire swallows, stares unblinking at Enjolras. “We can’t lose you.”

Later, Enjolras thinks. Later he will pause to examine this moment, the way Grantaire’s voice cracks on ‘you,’ the way his own throat aches in sympathy. Later, because there will be time, because this plan will work.

“Cosette, get ready to make a fast exit,” says Enjolras, already peeling off his captain’s vest. “Tell Feuilly to stoke the engines. Bahorel, keep stalling. Courfeyrac, make your way back to the ship as discreetly as you can. And Grantaire? Have a little faith.”

Grantaire’s choking, hysterical laughter follows him out of the cockpit.

The sun is bright and surreal in his eyes after so many days shipside. Enjolras strides forward, trying to make his speed look commanding and not desperate.

“You there!” he shouts at Bahorel and the guard. “You’re not paid to stand around chatting!”

“Sorry, sir!” Bahorel barks.

“Sorry, sir!” the guard echoes.

“Report back to your stations immediately!” says Enjolras.

“Yes, sir!” Bahorel jogs off, and Enjolras’s heart lightens.

The guard blinks back at him.

The best way to stem critical thinking and divert suspicion is to play into strong emotions. Fear works well. Enjolras launches into a lengthy, furious lecture on the importance of professionalism, of duty and obedience and manning your goddamn post.

“Sir,” says the guard slowly, “I was on break…”

An actual official of the IGR would know this. An actual official of the IGR would be able to access the roster.

“Meadows dismissed me at 09:00,” the guard continues, “Senior Officer…?” One hand is on his radio. There are people everywhere, no way to stop him without making a scene. Enjolras prays that Courfeyrac and Bahorel are already back on the ship.

“Sir!” someone is yelling from behind him. “Sir!” Enjolras spins around. Grantaire is running towards them at full speed. He’s wearing Feuilly’s mechanic coveralls with Musichetta’s leather gloves, to hide the knuckle tattoos, and a pair of goggles jammed over his dark curls to cover the eye makeup. “Sir!” Grantaire calls, “beg pardon, but you left this in the transport!”

In his outstretched hand is a pristine new ID card, emblazoned with the words Major General Hugo.

The guard looks a little pale.

“Would you like to continue to question me,” asks Enjolras, deadly calm.

“No, sir!” The guard executes a sloppy salute and turns on his heel.

Grantaire is doubled over, breathing raggedly. He must have sprinted the whole way. Feuilly has a slighter build; the mechanic suit strains at the shoulders and biceps.

“Thank you,” says Enjolras, as dispassionately as he can, mindful of the crush of people on all sides.

“No...tip...necessary,” Grantaire manages between pants. “Just...glad...to be...of service.”

Once they are safely back in space again, the mood on the ship is messy and ebullient. They may be down to protein tabs, but it turns out there’s still wine.

Bahorel is cheerfully regaling everyone with the story, including a spirited impression of Enjolras as a tyrannical senior officer. Enjolras half-expects Grantaire to be in the thick of the festivities, but he is absent from the mess hall. Nor is he in the cockpit or the engine room or the training room.

Enjolras finds him, finally, in the hydroponics lab.

“Thank you,” he says, and Grantaire jumps.

“You already said,” Grantaire replies with a crooked smile. There is a measure of truth in that smile, but something else, too. Enjolras allows himself to remember that argument in the cockpit, and it’s as though that glimpse of the slipping mask has granted him a better sense of it now.

“I mean it,” Enjolras pushes. “You risked your life, and I appreciate it.”

He’s not sure what he expects, but it’s not laughter. “God,” says Grantaire, bitter and amused, “don’t. Please don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Act like this represents magnificent sacrifice on my part. I acted with extreme selfishness.”

Enjolras frowns. “I don’t follow.”

“Do you really?” Grantaire’s voice is climbing. “Come on, Enjolras, I refuse to believe you’re this obtuse. You must know.”

It’s beyond confusing. “Know what?” Enjolras repeats. “If you’re going to talk in riddles, at least make it rhyme.”

“Well, fuck,” says Grantaire, and an edge of that hysterical laughter is back. “Fuck, what rhymes with, ‘I’ve been desperately in love with you since I very first heard you preaching fire and brimstone and freedom on the quad?’ It’s a little, it’s a little tough to make that scan, but Jesus Christ, give me a second--”

There is a long pause as every neuron in Enjolras’s brain swivels, reconfigures, sputters back into life. Several things suddenly make more sense. Several things also make less sense, but he’ll have time to sort that out.

They’re alive. They have time.

“Grantaire,” he says, hears himself say, “will you go out with me?”

There is a much longer pause. “...say again?” mumbles Grantaire.

“Grantaire, will you please take off those stupid goggles and go out with me?”

“Wow, uh.” The goggles land on the floor, and Enjolras watches those blue eyes widen.

Enjolras fits his hand to the side of Grantaire’s face because he can, because they’re both still breathing and the skin of Grantaire’s jaw is warm and rough with stubble. When Enjolras presses their mouths together, Grantaire’s lips are soft, almost hesitant until something inside him seems to snap and then they are kissing with abandon as the hydroponic system softly mists the air around them.

Presently, Grantaire pulls away. “Are you sure, I mean, are you one hundred percent sure this isn’t just gratitude at how I totally saved your ass?”

“I’m sure,” says Enjolras. “Although, I do think you deserve a reward for that.”

“Yeah?” says Grantaire.

Enjolras takes a deep breath, carefully schools his face. “Shiver me timbers,” he says, totally deadpan, before reaching out to reel Grantaire back in.

Grantaire’s grin is brighter than a supernova.

#fic #not posting this on AO3 bc how do you tag a crossover of a 19th century literary classic + your own handmade space opera #does it count as self-indulgent if someone else came up with the prompt? #idk but i had fun doing it

[dailyaudiobible]

01/23/2019 DAB Transcript

Genesis 46:1-47:31, Matthew 15:1-28, Psalms 19:1-14, Proverbs 4:14-19

Today is the 23rd day of January. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and it's great to be here with you today as we continue forward and take the next step in our adventure that we have embarked on as a community to take one step a day every day for a whole year and read the entire Bible. So, we’re reading from the English Standard Version this week and we are rounding the corner and, you know, in a few days we’ll finish the first book of the Bible, which is the book of Genesis. We’re not quite there, we have a few days to go, but we are also rounding the corner on this Joseph story that we've been tracking for a while and what a drama it is so. So, Joseph, you know, Jacob, Joseph's father has now discovered that Joseph, in fact, isn't dead and all the grief that he's had for all of those years mourning him may turn into joy. And, so, we’ll pick the story up. Genesis chapter 46 and 47 today and we’re reading from the English Standard Version. Sid I already say that? I don’t know. We’re reading from the English Standard Version this week.

Commentary:

Okay. So, we’re beginning to see the antagonism between Jesus and the religious establishment and we kind of know where this story goes. The religious establishment is gonna do everything they can to ill Jesus in the end and in the end they’ll succeed. So, in today’s reading, the religious establishment is questioning why Jesus does the things that He does and why He does them the way that Ge does them because He is breaking the religious traditions. And Jesus pushes back by simply exposing the fact that they also break their own religious traditions. What he's trying to do is help them understand their religious traditions and what they have made of the law is not what it was intended to be. And, of course, this calls into question all kinds of things, you know, what the religion is about, how God will feel about these changes, how to control the population and keep them devout. Like, all kinds of things begin to come up and it's antagonizing because what Jesus is talking about is deconstruction. Ironically, the kind of antagonism that Jesus faced with the Pharisees early in his ministry, you have to wonder if He wouldn't be in just as much trouble if He came here today speaking the same message to Christians. I know that sounds odd but at the end of Jesus confrontation today He said it all, “for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God. You hypocrites. Well did Isaiah prophesy of you when he said this, this people honor me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. In vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.” Okay, Jesus spoke this 2000 years ago when He was speaking of a prophecy that was like 700 years older than that. So, this has been going on a long time and it's still going on. And I'm a product of the church, right? I grew up in the church, the son of a pastor. I have been in ministry a long time. Like, if there's something that I do understand I think it's…it’s the ways of the church and it's been an interesting journey for me over the course of 14 years reading the Bible every day. And looking at stuff that Jesus is saying and then going back in the context of why they're mad at him and realizing that we’re repeating the same cycle in so many ways, right? So, for example, what is the message of the gospel? If like…if we were…if we were to articulate what the message of the church and the gospel of Jesus Christ is, we would say, “it doesn't matter where you’ve been, it doesn't matter what you've done, it doesn't matter what has brought you to this point, if you will believe and accept Jesus as your Savior, your sins, all of them, no matter what they are, no matter what they have ever been, they will be washed away and you will be clean and God's mercy will overshadow you and you will be born into the family of God and become a part of the body of Christ, brothers and sisters all over the world.” Right? So, that’s what we would say and that is what we believe. That is absolutely the truth. Ironically, that grace, that hovers over you in the pitch, right, to accept Jesus, that seems to go away after you do because after you do you better never sin again, or your brothers and sisters will crucify you. This is the behavior Jesus is pressing in on here. The religious establishment had gotten about the business of trying to corral the people into a fundamentally uniform process of obeying the law, and yet the spirit of the law had been lost. And, so, we have wrote traditions to follow with the whole thing being about modifying behavior as opposed to experiencing union and intimacy with God. And if you do a 360 around you we see this is still going on. We just have Christian traditions instead of Jewish Hebrew traditions to enforce. And this so quickly turns to judgment and, O my gosh, and you can just go out on social media and find the wars. And so often they boil down to what somebody did say or what somebody didn't say or what opportunity somebody missed when they should have said this or how they might be believing something that we don't believe and that that can’t be right. And, so, we’ve absolutely become Pharisees thinking that we are protecting God and that we are holding onto the traditions and enforcing what God would have us do in protecting the true doctrine. But the bottom line is the true doctrine, like, the true religion can be destroyed over time when mankind tries to interpret and enforce everyone else about it. So, Jesus is pressing into exactly this with the Pharisees today, but all we have to do is just harken back to what he's been saying all along. “judge not lest you be judged. The way that you judge others is the way you are going to be judged. Forgive and you will be forgiven. If you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven.” These are all things Jesus has been laying out all long since we started the journey. So, we have to consider our own posture of heart in the way that it is that we look at our fellow brothers and sisters all around us, especially, especially our brothers and sisters who do not see things the same way that we do. We can find ourselves being very, very pharisaical and then we have to listen to Jesus words, “for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God.” So, may we not be people who will honor the Lord with our lips, but our hearts are far from Him, because that is vain worship which means not doing anything and may we be very careful not to teach as doctrines the commandments of men.

Prayer:

Jesus, we come to You, these are Your words that we are speaking about, so we come to You. You said these things and they do prickle us, they do make us go, “wait, what are we talking about here”, because on some level we don't want to be the Pharisees but on the other side of it we want to do right. And, left to our own devices, this will lead us to judging others, this will lead us to unforgiveness, this will lead us into all kinds of things that make our religion nothing more than a tradition when what You are inviting us into is a personal, dynamic, always on, never off, life-giving relationship with You, and that is what we seek. But we do have the tendency to try to box that up and make it dogma and tradition as opposed to life-giving relationship. So, we need You. So. We’re coming to You Jesus. What are You bringing up? What are You speaking to us in this regard? Come Holy Spirit we pray. In Jesus’ name we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, its where you find out what’s going on around here. So, be sure to stay tuned and stay connected.

If you’re at dailyaudiobible.com and you click the Community section, that's where you’ll find all the links to different social media channels and as I’ve mentioned a couple of times, it's a good idea to follow us on Twitter and maybe follow us on some of the other social media channels like Facebook .This way, if there’s an announcement, if there's something going on, if we’re having technical difficulties which we…I mean…this is a seven day thing so occasionally something's not working on one of the servers or whatever, it just is helps us to get the word out. So, that's a good idea, but there are also other groups like DAB Friends to get involved with where there’s conversation juts happening naturally and kind of always. So, you can find all those things in the community section at dailyaudiobible.com.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that dailyaudiobible.com as well. There’s a link that is on the homepage. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi DAB family my name is Walla, I’m calling from London. Hi Brian, hi Jill and happy new year to all. This call is for, I think his name is Brendan. He just called for the community prayer, so, the week starting the 20th. And Brian you’ve liked the girl for 11 years…I’m sorry, Brendan, you’ve liked the girl for 11 years but you’re not sure if you should ask her out. Matey, ask her out and if she says no, so be it. __ in her, please talk to this girl, and I’m assuming you’re not called to singleness. So, I mean, if she’s not the right person God would bring someone else. And, yeah, God bless you, I had to pause the community prayer to just talk to you. I’ll be praying for you brother. Alright, have a blessed day, I love you all. Bye.

Hi this is __ from northern Colorado and I wanted to pay for the young man who just called in and said that he’s been diagnosed with MS. Lord, I just lift him up to You and I just pray that he would feel Your comfort in a way that he’s never felt before. Lord, I pray that You would bring a strong support group around him of Christians Lord that would help him to look to You Lord. I just thank You that he has been doing that and that has changed his life Lord. We just thank You that, yeah, he’s had the courage to go another day and that we pray that You would continue to fill him with Your courage Lord and that that courage would grow and multiply in his life Lord. Help them to find his way in this Lord. But if You don’t want to do that and You want to heal him, we’ll take that too Lord. Just pray that You would have Your hand on his life and that You would guide him and that You will provide for his finances, that You’d provide for his support, that You were to reach out and comfort him in a way that he’s never been comforted by the Holy Spirit before Lord. Just do a mighty work and help him to shine Lord, help him to realize while he does have a __ disease that he’s not worthless at all Lord that You can still use him and that You have a plan for his life and I pray that You would help him to complete all the plans that You have ordained for him to do. Amen.

Hey Daily Audio Bible family, my name is Kat and I am a first-time this year listener. This is my first year going through it. My boss really recommended that I start doing it. She’s a wonderful Christian lady and I love it. I love waking up at listening to it. So, I just thank you so much for providing that. And I just…I’ve had this on my heart for a couple days now or a couple of weeks now but I recently had sort of been talking with a young guy who…we just sort of were dating but I realized very quickly that he is Buddhist and does not know the Lord and his name is Aaron and I just had to end things basically with him and it was very painful but I just knew that…I know that God is gonna work in him. Like I have this hope that he belongs to Him and He has that work, but I would really appreciate any prayers that he would just find Jesus. I just feel like it’s hopeless right now…I mean I don’t really…obviously I know God can work but it’s hard for me to believe that I guess, but I just pray that not even for my sake but just for his own sake that you would just…that he would find God and that he wouldn’t be satisfied in his own faith but that he would just hunger and thirst for righteousness and that he can only be filled by the Holy Spirit. So, yeah, thank you so much for your prayers. I listen to everybody else’s prayer requests on here and there’s some really amazing people of faith. And I know we’ll all meet one day, which is very exciting. Alright, thank you, have a great day.

Hi, my name is Dr. Russ, I live in California and I am responding to God’s Light request for being uplifted in prayer. I’m a first-time caller and I’m not calling for prayer, I’m calling to pray. I’m calling for God’s Light. God’s Light I was diagnosed with MS 25 years ago. I have lived a full life depending and relying upon Jesus every day since that time. And take note of this thought, pray through this thought, if we choose to end our lives, if we choose to take things in our own hands, do we not then say that Christ’s blood was spilled in vain and is worthless? Because if it is worth something then it redeems and if it redeems then it changes. And I can assure you, it does change everything. So, hang on. I’m praying for you, you have hundreds and perhaps thousands of people in the DAB family praying for you right now as I’m going to at this moment. Dear Father, for those who are afflicted with disease or things that they can’t understand and we all at one time or another are in that boat. Lord, show Yourself strong the week. Make Yourself that strength that is needed, the gap between where my brother says he is and where You are. Show Yourself Lord, strong to every individual has disease, who has shortfalls, who has shortcomings, and that includes all of us in this human race. Lord, may there be a collective strength of your body for that person. My dear friend, God’s Light…

Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is Kat in the UK. I’ve been listening for number of years now and have called on a couple of occasions but I’m now trying to call more regularly having missed the Christmas greeting last year. I really felt inspired this month to call and pray for those suffering with poor mental health. So here goes. Lord, we just thank You for who You are, for Your grace and mercy. We thank You that You are a God who wants us to have a spirit of love, and power, and of a sound mind and not a spirit of fear. Lord I just lift You, everyone in the Daily Audio Bible family who is struggling with poor mental health. I pray that You will be their rest, You will be their safe place, and You will be their anchor. Lord, in Your grace restore them, make them whole, and let them feel a lightness that comes from knowing You. In Your name. Amen.

Hi family this is Viola calling from Maryland I hope you’re all doing well. Brian and Jill God bless you. China, I’m watching all of the posts on Facebook. Congratulations again for your upcoming wedding in April. Woo hoo. You will make a great bride. O, I have just two minutes to say this. This sister that’s been calling about her son who has been saying horrible things, had a gun, talking about how he will kill somebody and everything. Sister, remember the __ women in the Bible who went to Jesus pleading on behalf of her child. You can still that. It’s __ authority over whatever has gotten in that boy and be gone in the name of Jesus. I am telling you sister this works. So, we are praying with you. Every time you call I’ve been praying, and I pray you will call back and give your testimony. And if he comes and he says everything __ , you begin to refute him with the word of God and say in the name of Jesus. The word of God says that you will be __ the Lord and it will bring you peace. I declare that peace for you right now in the name of Jesus. I bind every spirit harassing you. Begin to speak that to your son’s life and see everything come around you __. And I pray that will be true for you in the name of Jesus. Condon, I’m praying for your marriage. London from Maryland I pray that God will reconcile both you and your wife and there will be much forgiveness, you will make allowance for each others faults and God will just make everything afresh and just make it new again. In the name of Jesus. Lastly, I want to pray that sister who called in about her green card and paying the Lord will make away for you, the Lord will step into your situation, He will give you favor with the authorities, with ICE, and everything will be perfect quickly and speedily. Family, lastly, if you could pray for my son Daniel __ from college. Woo hoo. He’s looking for a good job and we pray that he will get one. God bless you.

[postpunkpontypandyphantomthief]

6th Comedy Monologue

“So folks, that whole Brexit rubbish is finally over isn’t it?”

“I know, some of us could see it coming and Teresa May looks like the spitting image

of the stepmother from Cinderella

how come nobody has noticed that yet?

we all have politicians we don’t like don’t we?

at times like this, I have to remind myself Teresa May is a very well liked woman

but then I remember back in the day Margaret Thatcher was also a very well liked woman

don’t you think she and Teresa may are quite similar?

well this is how she’d treat a political problem

*attempts impersonation*

“what’s that? ok men I did you to do this and then this and then this and this”

whereas Teresa may would handle the situation like…

*attempts impersonation*

what’s this? oh leave it for a few months

but the main thing is they both hate poor people so who cares what they think

I actually sort of understand why people like Jeremy Corbyn but I had written that previous gag back in late June of last year, speaking of outdated gags

Pirates were the communists and socialists of the 17th century

they wanted money, disagreed with colonialism and didn’t care what the government thought of them

like with communists they were accepting and inclusive but they wanted gold

the pirates accepted many on their ship they allowed homosexuality, they allowed women in strong roles  there were great times had on the high seas

even with the loot, they got they’d share it evenly what other power was involved with being inclusive with most things except money Oh Yeah! the communists

Yes, Yes we’ll handle it we’ll accept you but give us all your money

communism is a good concept but in the end, people get greedy for the money

like with pirates

we’ll accept you matey but give us some gold

however they didn’t agree about the government, they had their own independent pirate crews and disagreed with colonialism and capitalism

kind of like some of us, I think

we criticize politics, we like to party and we accept most people except colonialists …and capitalists...

Oh well, at least there’s been good music with Marina and the diamonds, Ariana Grande and the 1975

We, humans, love music

which makes me think about bands related to Homosapians

in the 60s we had the Monkees good band good name

and now we have Arctic Monkeys, Gorillaz, Rang a Tang and Apes

what about the lesser known homosapian types

Chimpanzees and Baboons

if music existed in Planet of the Apes

the Kate Bush hit Babooshka would be about a

monkey looking for love after getting his heart broken seeing his wife cheat on him with an older mandrill

only to fall in love again with who he’d call his baboonska

Animals are interesting creatures whether they are made of glass, made of 1960s haircuts or made of the first songs of a math rock band

Another good thing about music and animals is that Roger Taylor is going to help us save the bees

Thinking bee! Thinking queen! thinking bee! Thinking queen!

Speaking of which there’s been a whole glam rock/synthpop revival going on

And I love that

although as a kid I watched media from all sorts of different decades

While they watched Jersey Shore and Love Island I was watching Disney and CBBC sitcoms mixed with Japanese cartoons and shows from years before like Jem and the holograms, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the original my little pony series.

I would also watch funnybones, the original noody series from a VHS I “borrowed” from my neighbours, as well as the Muppet show and some classic cinema.

I think it’s amazing that this revival is happening it’s like the 60s,70s,80s,90s and early 2000s are all going on at the same time.

Revolutionary anarchic protests, Androgynous rockers, Neon colours, post-punk indie shows, peculiar fashion trends and reality shows as well as the cybernetic future beyond

But I’m also cold and angry about how this is happening because on the other hand, there are things carried over from previous decades that shouldn’t still be around...fascists in positions of power, nonces in the entertainment industry, Threat of a nuclear war, low economy, Jamie Oliver, Piers Morgan, Death, Pollution,Misogyny,Misandry,Sexism,Racism and White Supremacy

I could list more, but I can’t think at the moment I’m focusing on my work while morons on Twitter and Tumblr are yabbering on about vegan sausage rolls.

I’ve never tried Greggs before but I’m sure the vegans and vegetarians are happy that a mainstream chain like Greggs has made a product catered specifically for them, whereas before if you asked for a “vegan option” at a restaurant the waiter would scratch their neck.

However not all restaurants are like this,having to work overtime dealing with angry parents,screaming children and the odd nazi at Mcdonalds is not an easy task,yet so many waiters and workers across the world are able to somehow keep those businesses afloat,you guys, girls and comrades don’t get enough credit,you should be paid more,no wonder so many mainstream restaurants are having strikes or running out of food and people are either going to more independently funded places or ordering online to get their daily dose of fast fried convenience.

and while I would be interested in trying a vegetarian diet,It would be hard for me to give up eating chicken that quickly but I don’t really eat meat that often,and before you say anything as long as cannibals don’t use their choice of food in a dangerous way they’re ok with me, it’s no different to when our prehistoric ancestors had to hunt to find food in order to survive,some people still have to do that,it’s sad...it really is,while Christianity isn’t something I believe in anymore, it did say in the bible that Jesus shared his bread and food with his people,and I think some of us should start doing that,and if you already do whether it’s a snack you have or leaving out leftover food from your side takeaway business, that’s brilliant your making more people happy and your allowing more people to enjoy food and to have access to that basic human necessity that we all should be able to have to access to.

Sharing is another primary school lesson it feels like half of humanity has forgotten about outside of basic decency and kindness, but I’m probably not the one to talk about that since I was called “Rude” for most of my life.

there’s a big difference between telling someone they’re a plonker and making someone more aware of how they can improve themselves as a person.

Most of us all have flaws, most of us have had toxic moments,

we’ve all at times had moments where we’ve said something wrong that we didn’t mean,

or times where our cowardliness has accidentally caused misunderstandings and drama

or times where we didn’t intend to sound hurtful but that’s how it came across, or times where we’ve blindly followed toxic people, imitating their actions without meaning to or just generally times where we’ve been ignorant little eijjits.

Even people some would say were flawless had flaws or problematic aspects about them

David Bowie wasn’t too nice to his wife Angie in later years, Graham Lineman and Robert Webb are transphobic, Rowan Atkinson supports Boris Johnson’s “so-called” jokes and Ricky Gervais doesn’t like hearing people with different opinions than him.

Overthinking however can exaggerate this, overthinking can take that one time you were a bit rude as a child and that problematic “fandom” phase you had as a preteen and make you feel like your worst person in the world.

Your not, but most of us have had moments,there’s also the “not like other girls/boys phase” sometimes it’s just a light-hearted comparison drawing or blog post taken out of context other times it’s the grown-up equivalent of saying “I like this thing over your other thing that means I’m better than you”

Considering my at times cold thoughts it’s weird that I’m the person of all people telling you this

It’s perfectly ok to be prideful and narcissistic just don’t be so arrogant that you forget about your morals and the people that you're close to, but if at times because of mental health you question your levels of empathy, sympathy and compassion that’s ok too, your voices deserve to be heard, and there is help available you can find it through helplines, organizations or even your own comrades.

Outside of all the twits in this horrid fishbowl of a world, there are also millions of very kind nice people, I don’t know where I’d be now without my comrades

The offline pals who are like my sunshine because they brighten up my day,the old secondary school friends that made me feel less alone,the online people who I can vent to, converse with and joke with,the bloggers from years ago that I still sometimes keep in touch with and the creators who through their work in Media, Theatre and the Arts were able to encourage me to keep going, keep working, keep creating.

I think your all lovely and beautiful and creative human beings, no matter what identity you are, what music genre you listen to or what topping you prefer on your pizza

I will most likely adore you and if I haven’t it’s probably because I haven’t met you yet

You are one biscuit of cells, on this fishbowl planet, your mind is a land of wonder and your body is the garden surrounding it, take care of yourself like how you take care of your garden, your pets or the fictional characters you write about.

Your future might not be the future you expect, but it’s one you’ll enjoy.

if you are doing something you love which harms nobody, be as happy and passionate about it as you like

you are a person who deserves the world

Don’t push yourself too hard, if you know you’re doing a good job keep at it, don’t stress yourself too hard, but remember not to procrastinate, your mental health is important, some people might not understand all of the issues you’re going through, but you can make it out alive.

You're, not a number or statistic you're a person, your a beautiful, Kind, incredible, wise person

spread some love and don’t forget what the late Freddie Mercury said,

Keep yourself Alive!

#comedy monologue #original monologue #joke

[carmenshenk]

I wallpapered the closet in my office! Not that anyone will ever see it, but don’t you love a wallpapered closet? I was surprised with how much wall damage this peel and stick wall covering was able to hide. Pretty impressive. ⚜️ When my Austrian took down the paneling, we found two sizable holes in the plaster. Oops. This wallpaper was magic! Covered. Gone. No worries Matey! 🧡❤️💜 ⚜️ It’s wallpaper, so it’s still a beast to hang! And I did it all by myself, which was not. Fun. I really love how it turned out though! And yeah, the light and momentary struggle was totally worth it. ⚜️ I suppose this is the point in our conversation where I tell you there is an Amazon link in my bio where you can purchase your very own roll of glorified contact paper. I have mixed feelings about that. There are products I really love, and this one is worth a tepid shout-out. But does EVERY online conversation have to have a marketing agenda? I don’t know. Sometimes I love it and find the info useful and then hurry off to go buy the product, and sometimes I’m just like... yeah... No. Unfollow. ⚜️ What do you think? Do you follow any influencers? What do they do that you don’t mind? What do they do that you hate? ⚜️ I have very mixed feelings about this. I nearly unfollowed someone over the weekend until I realized that she’s a single mum just trying to make her way. I took my finger off the unfollow button. So her concern over being able to meet her obligations was showing a little with how hard she was hocking her wares... but that’s a matter for compassion. We’ve all been there. And it’s a brave new world where many people are actually making a living by sharing their lives online. ⚜️ I would really love to know what you think about this? I have looked at some of the #influencer options and part of me finds those deals kind of interesting and part of me is just... Ewww. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we weren’t all trying to sell each other schnitzel? But there are times when the info is genuinely helpful. So I don’t know. Tell me your thoughts in the comments. I really want to know! #amazonaffiliatesales #influenster #marketing #minimalism (at Staunton, Virginia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CAnkxC5H1wA/?igshid=1aiiq6j4zbky2

#influencer #amazonaffiliatesales #influenster #marketing #minimalism