hey don't cry gang i had a really bad day and ordered 4 chicken strips and they gave me like 7
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Where’s that gif of the lobster squeezing a lime?
There we go!
Powerful stuff!
Effortless!
(Credit to whoever initially made and/or posted this gif)
He squeezes it with a righteous fury unmatched by any man!
He is FAR too powerful!
But the squeeze is not enough.
I need to see him CRUSH it with all his might in a vice-like grip!
Get all the JUICE out of it!
FIRMLY GRASP IT!!!!!!!
COME ON!!!!!!
Show them what RAW power looks like!!!
Yeah!!!
Lobsters, bitch!!!!
He actually used to work as the head chef on a cargo vessel sailing between Singapore and Mumbai.
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Hey, Astarion fans
Consider: Sweater Weather for Astarion and Tav. Particularly this cover
All I am is a man, I want the world in my hands
Hmmmm???? At first, this made me think this would only fit Ascended Astarion, but then I realized that such a desire resides in Astarion regardless of route. The world has harmed him so much, that before the choice is made, he thinks, what if the world bent to my will? What if I- and then, what if we used these parasites, used their powers, took over the cult, took over the brain…what if?
The thing with this song is it's also…tender?
And if I may just take your breath away, I don't mind if there's not much to say, sometimes the silence guides our minds, so move to a place so far away
Oh, this line could be taken many ways for him...
In a lot of the encounters in which you seduce him/are seduced by him, the narrator notes that "there's a look about him that reveals he's a million realms away"
Head in the clouds, but my gravity's centered
Touch my neck, and I'll touch yours
Aka, dissociating. Understandable, given what he has gone through, and as someone who has gone through something of the same vein, I relate. I digress.
It also speaks to the understanding Astarion and develop. How if him feeding on you becomes a nightly, consensual occurrence, then you don't have to say much of anything about it, just let him know he can. How you can direct his movements in combat. Also, he just generally takes your breath away.
And of course,
Cause it's too cold
For you here and now
So let me hold
Both your hands in, the holes of my sweater
Cold in temperature, or cold in circumstance? Being an undead, the natural assumption for Astarion's body temperature is, well, cold, but I'm more focused in non-temperature cold.
How if you say you want to end things with Astarion, his first response is "oh shit, did I do something wrong?" instead of "why?". How he views himself as lower, especially viewing his past self as lower if ascended. How he has to be cold to survive.
But either route, he still...makes connection. He still is surrounded by people to have and to hold in the spawn route, and is deeply, tightly holding onto Tav in the ascended route.
Crazy thing being, depending on how you play Tav, or Durge, or hell, another Origin character if you prefer, this could easily be them singing back to him.
My Tav (who is named after me lol) in particular I've made very…morally gray. They don't exactly feel the need to take over the world, as they generally approve of the freedom of the people, but who's to say they don't also want the world in their hands?
At one point, Astarion can say to the player character, "I'm not easily impressed by people, but you're stronger than I gave you credit for." The narrator implies it's empty flattery, but over time, "and if I may just take your breath away" applies to them as well.
You know what I think about
And what I think about
Thank you for coming to my Tedtalk
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hello beloved, it's simon, I just really want to know what howling beasts is, and also want you to know when I was typing this that my keyboard tried to autocorrect it to "bowling beasts" three times!
But seriously I do want to know if you are comfortable sharing, and if it's a secret that's okay too!
i got two asks about this which is so funny to me but i guess if you suddenly start posting 6 million posts with one feral mysterious tag it only makes sense that people would be curious, so i will answer publicly for the interested folks! alas i wish it was more interesting to the masses/about some secret strider writing project i had which would be in theme with the blog but actually its about some of my ocs who i am going a little bit frothing at the mouth feral for rn.
altho... werewolf guardians... :thinking: oh im jotting that down. and they will bowl.
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Wearing life series merch to the family gathering, not beating the queer cousin allegations.
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once again thinking about limes very quick descent into madness surrounding the time when he realizes he might like mochi after the first night he spends cuddling with her. always love the slow start of "Okay she's kinda cute I guess. She has cute tendencies sometimes. There, you happy? I admitted it. Now leave me alone." which in the span of about 3 days RAPIDLY spills into being unable to think about anything else to the point he can barely hold a conversation with anyone because his mind keeps daydreaming back to holding her in his arms. All day feeling like "I can still feel her warmth on me..." and has to keep being snapped back to reality by everyone around him
he can barely even talk to mochi because he keeps thinking about it. has no idea what to say to her the next day. is very quiet. and mochi thinks hes mad/uncomfortable with her now, since hes always so standoffish to girls at school she thinks she might be in that category now. so the next night while lime is about to go to bed, STILL THINKING ABOUT IT, and he gets a text from her that reads something like: [Hey lime!! about last night- sorry i fell asleep on you!! i know your not super comfortable with that stuff!! it wont happen again!! 🙇♀️ see you tomorrow!] and he feels his heart drop to his fucking stomach. lays there reading it back over and over with his thoughts a mix of "Yeah I guess that makes sense, it happened by accident. It was never gonna be a repetitive thing." vs "Won't happen again...? Like....ever? Are you fucking kidding me? I never get that ever again?"
eventually after an hour of tossing and turning, thinks up some bullshit excuse to sneak over to her house and climb up over her little bedroom balcony, knocks on her window and says something like "Hey uhhh you forgot one of your socks over at my place so I brought it back." or something that is absolutely stupid and could've definitely waited for the next day. manages to weasel his way into crawling into her bed with her because every bone in his body is telling him to.
huheuheu love to see lime aching for her eheheh
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