#lilh asks

[lilmerh]

me when i fucking BOOP you

Did you know that I love you

#lilh asks

[whumpsday]

I thank Jim for the towel and wrap it around my shoulders like a cape. I make the phone call. It is a very normal call, for the most part, I get the number wrong like four times. And then I am yelling about how "This was the worst camping experience ever, Please just get me, I'm in someone's house and this is awkward!" The person on the other end promises to be there in a couple of hours. I AM NOT PLEASED. I am pleased about being out of the rain and wrapped in a towel. I hang up the phone and wander in the direction Jim had gone in.

Jim tells you that you can hang out here until your friend comes to pick you up. He's very hospitable, asks if you want something to eat or drink. Asks that you just keep out of the basement, as it's... under renovations.

#ask #k&j ask #lilh

[lilhdram]

20210412

Hello, tumblr

I've been off for soooo long, he he

Lately I've thinking a lot of what this space used to mean to me.

Like I said in my last post, this used to be my safe space.

But I really don't wanna start this with a sad note, not at all.

When I left here I was starting in my new job (I'm still there).

I've been teaching at a school for almost 4 years now. I work with elementary school kids, and at first I had my doubts, you know? I was never good with kids, not that I don't like them, but I'm just naturally calm and shy.

But...

I was totally wrong with my second guessing, I totally loved my students. Yeah, they are not perfect, but I don't expect them to be, they are kids after all. But I discovered a lot about human nature just by watching them. And I found myself learning alongside my students.

I'm really shy, so I didn't approached my peers at the school since I'm the youngest with a gap of almost 15 years. So I felt really intimidated by them (without reason since most of them are really nice people). So I sat in the children's space, in a small bench, watching them play while I ate my lunch.

Sometimes a pair of students would look curiously at me, but wouldn't come near since I have a serious case of resting b!tch face. But all it took was a small smile from my part for them to run to me and ask me a few questions between giggles and surprised expressions.

They honest to God treated me like a celebrity (I work at a small town school). They were so excited to know about me, and how was my life in the city (since I live in the capital of my state, well... Near the capital). They were the sweetest, and they even shared their precious lunch with me.

The second day at work, they would all hug me when they saw me and ask me my age again and again since "you are like my mum's age, but you don't look like my mum at all".

The hardest to get to know where the oldest ones (6th grade), I believe they never saw me as their superior, since I was just 10 years their elder. But I got to know a lot of them once they started to open a bit, one of them, a girl, was an ARMY and she bought me posters and some thingies from BTS she found here and there, I was truly endeared (she wrote me letters & I never got the courage to tell her she addressed me with the wrong name 😭 I mean, it was close enough so I was happy anyways).

It's been 3 years since I started working there (3 years and a half), and the baby students that I meet there for the first time are in 5th grade now. And I kinda promised myself that I wouldn't relocate till I saw all of them graduate.

But now with the pandem!c happening it's been a whole year since I last saw them.

I'll acknowledge that I might not be the most patient person in the world, but I really enjoyed being there, not only teaching, helping them when they had a problem, listening to their jokes or their horror stories, playing UNO with them, finding their missing things, freaking out at someone's bleeding nose (istg I always get the goosebumps when they start bleeding out of nowhere).

They helped me a lot to get better. Even tho the 1 hour in bus trip to their community was a bit tiring I was really happy every time I saw them and hug them.

I wish that I get to see them all again, and I wish for them to be happy and healthy, I know that their situation right now might be difficult since most of them came from merchants parents. So with the low economy in these days I can already imagine all of the troubles they are having with daily life situations and school.

I might be updating on my life regularly now (not daily, but you know what I mean). Since this is my blog I decided that I can. After all writing has always helped me to reflect about life and having a place to vent when needed is precious. Since I'm facing a massive writers block, I'm doing this in hopes for it to FINALLY go away!

I didn't intend for this to be this long nor this "work focused" but, I just wanted to update you all: I'm alive! He he

And yeah, I'm still an ARMY.

Anyway I hope you all have an amazing day.

Yours, Lilh!

#about me #Fishing my muse bug #Slice of life #If you feel like I should tag this any other thing please tell me #Dear Tumblr #Personal

[onedirectionthekings]

That sounds nice *smiles* who would watch Rosie though *grabs my lotion and starts to put it on*-lilh

*finishes getting dressed and looks over at you* we can ask my mom and we can drive her down there and do something around there and stay the night in a hotel so we are alone -Harry

[lilmerh]

🐰

Bunny..... one of my favourite creatures. Bunny kaomojis jumpscare!!

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

/)/) ( . .) ( づ♡

♡ ∩_∩ („• ֊ •„)♡ |￣U U￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣| | I love these things | ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

/) /) ପ(˶•-•˶)ଓ ♡ /づ づ

₍ᐢ. ̫ .ᐢ₎

૮₍˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა

ᘏ ⑅ ᘏ   ഒ    zᶻ ꒰˶  - ˕ -꒱ ⌒)ᦱ

/) /) ( • ༝•)

┌ /) /) ( ᵕ .ᵕ) ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 cᐟ ل ل ┘

ᐢ⑅ᐢ ꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ ./づ~ ♡

(\_/) 💕 ( •-•)💕 />💌

#lilh asks #this pleases me #screenreader unfriendly

[lilmerh]

payback: what’s your favorite thing about donnie?

Not detailed answer bc tired :( apologies

But it's how he cares about his family. And how silly he is

#lilh asks

[lilmerh]

🖼️ Find and share an image in your camera roll that describes your current mood. Do not, under any circumstances, elaborate.

#hefjdjheffj #lilh asks #lilh art

[lilmerh]

ask game!!

⚡️ What’s your favourite Pokémon that has the same first letter as the name of your blog?

Probably Lilligant!

#lilh asks #she's just like me (a pretty girl)

[lilmerh]

top five breakfast foods?

In no particular order,

-Rice crispies with milk

-Semolina seed porridge

-Wheat cereal and pear-flavoured fermented milk

-Chicken-flavoured ramen

-Toast with salami slices

#lilh asks

[lilmerh]

Who is your favorite SatW character

Sis!USA, sis!Japan, Sweden, Denmark, sis!Sweden, Estonia, Finland and Thailand are some of my darlings. (✿◠‿◠)

#lilh asks

[lilmerh]

Are you still in the SatW fandom? :[

Sure I am! I haven't posted or interacted with it in a long time, but I still enjoy it when it crosses my path.

#lilh asks #sis!usa x sis!japan my rarepair

[lilmerh]

📢

🔊: im really glad i started following you!

Woagh. Enjoy your stay!!

#lilh asks

[lilmerh]

📌 Pick two seemingly completely unrelated things. Now explain how they’re connected. (You do not have to be, by any measure, correct.)

Green Day and the bigender flag I have in my room

Green Day consists of three main members. Mike Dirnt, the bass player, Tré Cool, drummer, and of course, Billie Joe Armstrong, the band's singer. Billie Joe happens to be a bisexual man. The word "bisexual" begins with the prefix bi. You know what else begins with that? The word "bigender". A label I happen to use, hence, I recently purchased a bigender flag to display proudly in my room.

#lilh asks #sorry it wasn't very funny

[lilmerh]

🍂 Describe your favourite colour in terms of nature (e.g. the grey of a building storm, the green of an almost-ripe fruit). The more excessively long-winded and poetic, the better.

Blue in all its forms.

All the different hues of blue the ocean has to offer. The cerulean blue of the open ocean. The bluegreen where the water nears the shore and the sand. Crystalline water. An ocean so bright and clear it resembles pool water. An ocean so dark and deep you're not sure what resides in it.

The variety in blue gemstones. Light blue aquamarine bringing to mind tears or a marine blue lapis lazuli. Blue gems who lean towards teal or indigo.

Blue animals. Animals whose blue you know means danger (blue-ringed octopus, blue poison darts). Animals who've evolved to be eye-catchingly bright, or animals with a more grey disposition.

Also, rich reds. Whether a saturated crimson or a deep wine red.

Lively red things like fall leaves, poppies, and red squirrels, or darker reds, beautiful and mysterious: rubies, roses, cherries. The red of fresh blood.

#lilh asks #blue and red my beloved

[lilmerh]

new pfp!! what is it?

It's me :D disabled guy for disability pride month

I had planned to draw myself a new icon for the first day of july (start of disability pride month), but I forgor. So now I'll keep this one a little longer

#ask time #lilh art #ty for asking!!

[lilmerh]

for pride asks!!

3, which pronouns do you use?

7, are you the token queer person in your family?

14, how do you think other factors like neurodivergency or upbringing have impacted your identity?

21, what message would you give to your younger self?

25, which part of queer discourse frustrates you the most?

3. She/they/he and also secretly fae prns!! I don't like telling people my pronouns. It makes me gender dysphoric for some reason I can't quite figure out

7. I think so! At least I'm the only openly gay person I know in my entire fam

14. My upbringing definitely helped bc I wasn't raised by homo/transphobic people, nor were surrounded by them in school or other places. This led to me having no shame upon learning I was gay (I did have a bit of a struggle with not being "trans enough", but overtime I worked through that).

My Autism Sense Of Justice made me very stubborn in my beliefs of LGBT rights, equity n equality, and I try to speak in favour of this whenever I can (in class, assignments, and such, mainly).

My autism itself didn't impact my gay identities much... except for figuring out my romantic identity. A major question I asked myself used to be "am I aromantic or just autistic???". Those two may seem unrelated, but being autistic, it made me question my aromantic identity a lot. The main reason was basically "am I actually aromantic, or does my autism just mean I dislike/experience differently the societal expectations of romance?" f.ex. kissing, that weird eye contact thing, other body language "signs" of crushing, playing hard to get n other things that were viewed as romantic that I just hated.

Over time I came to the conclusion that I should just... try calling myself aromantic and follow other aros and read their experiences and see if my mind changed. If I was wrong, I could always just... change the label I use for myself. An' now I confidently identify as aromantic lol (technically more accurately greyromantic and biromantic, but I just say aromantic because it's easier + I don't have to care too much about defining myself)

21. I don't have much I would say to myself tbh. If anything, I would tell my younger self to not watch like... Steven Crowder and other cringe ppl's LGBT videos. During a short period of time (that I grew out of bc I stopped agreeing with their views), I used to watch conservative's vids on LGBT because I believed I "had to remain neutral" (for whatever reason) and so had to "respect" their takes even if I didn't agree with em.

I don't know if I would actually tell my younger self to not watch them, though, bc I think in some way, having had that short phase was beneficial to my development?

-It makes me slightly more understanding to people who don't know much about the LGBT and might say off things. Since I fell for the cringe ppl's words for a short bit, I can extend a certain degree of understanding to people who aren't outright hateful, but still say off things/agree with the cringe ppl (note "a certain degree")

-The embarassement from having listened to bigoted ppl for some time makes me wore open to learn an be against exclusion + be more firm in my own beliefs because OMG I do NOT want to repeat that mistake again *skull emoji*

25. If I were to pick one... probably the insistance that labels are set in stone and no person can ever break them or use contradictory or confusing labels.

Gayness, for many of us is hard to define, or we might just not want to, for whatever reason. For some, using a broad label like "queer" is more comfortable. For some people, their labels might change with time or how they feel (say, a genderfluid person who identifies as achillean "despite" being a girl sometimes). Sometimes it's a matter of community (like, a transmasc still calling himself a lesbian, even though that label is mainly assosciated with women, because he identified as a lesbian for years and still does bc he still has ties to the community). Sometimes people choose one label over another more "accurate" one (like me!! I think omnisexual would technically describe my attraction the most accurately, and yet I choose bi. It's more well known + it's just always been there for me, yk?)

Being gay is confusing!! Not everyone can decipher the exact labels that describe their experiences perfectly. Not everyone wants to, either. Some people feel more trapped by doing that than just calling themselves "trans".

I am all for people making super-specific labels to describe their experiences, and I ALSO think no one should force another gay person to use/conform to a specific label.

In my opinion, LGBT labels are mainly useful for two things:

To understand your own experience, describe your experience to yourself

Communicate that experience to others, find community, have a word for your similar experiences, use that word + community to fight against anyone who tells you you're lesser than or don't exist

I think the more important factor is that people feel comfortable with the label they choose, rather than fretting about which label to choose.

Policing labels never does anything helpful for the community, it just brings infighting. Also, it ignores the fact that each label has a different definition depending on who you talk to. Many labels also have a long history, which means people are gonna have different opinions of what it means because language naturally changes and evolves. (One term is "lesbian". I've seen so many different definitions and flag variations, I probably couldn't list them all. Another one is "transgender", which evolved from "transsexual" which evolved from "transvestite".) No label in the LGBT community is viewed 100% identically by every person. Therefore, we should just let people assign whichever label they want to their own experience.

Everyone experiences being gay differently; forcing everyone with a specific experience to use a specific identity kills the biodiversity and variation within that community.

#ask time #this doesn't feel very... coherent... but i hope you will still enjoy reading #lilh text