#like. yeah ok you're 400+ years old the things that happened to you were such a comparatively small part of your life

[allgremlinart]

haiiiiii friend can you explain jianzhu to me I keep seeing you post about them and I’m nosy and wanna know (<- stopped watching atla bc I realized zutara was never gonna be canon)

also jetko. can you explain jetko too (I’m thinking they’re more on the ghostbat spectrum where it’s like. intense friendship that left both emotionally scarred for the rest of their lives)

TEEHEE HEEHE HEE <- me when I get the opportunity to explain/infodump cross-fandom stuff to mutuals

ok so Jianzhu... ahhh Jianzhu... ((SPOILERS for anyone reading the Kyoshi novels))

This is Jianzhu and also like... probably one of maybe 4 canon images/art there is of him... he's not from the original cartoon he's from the Avatar Kyoshi spin-off novels that take place abt 400 yrs before the events of the show (idk how much you know abt atla lore from osmosis so this might get a little tedious? I'm just gonna explain as succinctly as possible.)

To be brief, he's a cunty old man. But unlike when I call, say, Minhkhoa a cunty old man it's not really loving ... its more like... I love to hate him. He's a REALLY good villain.

He's a politician. He made 500 people dig their own graves and then buried them alive. He beheaded his friend of like 20+ years. He drugs and kidnaps teenagers. etc. It's great.

His whole character arc is like... He's in control. You start off the book and he is very clearly in control, and he knows what he's doing, and he even sounds halfway reasonable sometimes but over the course of the novel he gets more and more desperate to grab hold of a situation that spirals wildly away from him and you get to watch it happen. His justifications for his actions get crazier, he gets sloppier and sloppier with his murders....

OH also you know how sometimes people think Bruce is some callous asshole who was only using his adoptive son who worshipped him as a weapon, and when he died he quickly sought to replace him without remorse ? Yeah he's like that but. Like actually this time. His dead adoptive son also then comes back after eating an eyeball in the spirit world (idk) and kills him by pressing a pebble through his sternum so. More successful than Jason at patricide I'd say. Look there's a lot I didn't cover, here's his wiki.

ok Jetko... ah... the ancient yaoi..

Important required reading before I explain this ship is this post. What you have to understand about Zuko is that for basically like... 40 episodes the only person he shares significant screen time with is his uncle so when him and Jet met in s2 and had a decent 3 episodes worth of interactions ... it was enough, lets just say that.

The basic Jetko timeline is they meet on a ferry while Zuko and his Uncle are disguised as refugees and they steal food together -> Jet tries to get Zuko (who he only ever knows as "Li") to join his emo band gang which Zuko refuses -> Jet sees Uncle Warcrimes heating his tea and correctly deduces that they are firebenders (ie not who they say they are; the enemy) -> Zuko and his Uncle work in a tea shop while Jet stalks them and steals things from their house and watches them from behind clotheslines (yeah) -> Jet confronts them in the teashop, sword fight, Jet gets arrested and brainwashed by the secret police (yeah) -> Jet dies under a lake which Zuko only finds out about a season later.

So they never had the 4 years of intense homoerotic cohabitation that ghostbat had,.. their chemistry and potential are pretty much instigated by a few of Jet's weird intense lines, such as "As soon as I saw your scar I knew exactly who you were - you're an outcast, like me." And the crux of the ship is like.. Jet both does and doesn't know who Zuko is.

He knows he is also angry and restless, like himself - he knows he is running from his past, like himself - and he knows he is going to Ba Sing Se to create a new identity. These things are all true, for both of them; what Jet doesn't know is that Zuko is from the imperialist nation that brutally murdered his parents and invaded his home and he incorrectly assumes that the anger he recognizes in Zuko stems from the same need to enact violence on those who have taken everything from him.

So I guess the "thought you were exactly like me but then I found out you're not which enrages and humiliates me so know I'm going to beat the shit out of you" thing from BTK no. 6 is something they share with ghostbat but.. Jet's anger is probably a little more justified than Minhkhoa's lol...

In conclusion it's your basic "doomed relationship/they work great together but that doesn't fix anything" ship premise. It used to be more popular back in the day... pretty sure I owe my life to maybe 3 different Taiwanese/Chinese doujin artists from 2009... yeah that's the gist of it.

#wow it is harder than I thought to explain atla lore without like. ACTUALLY explaining atla lore (because trust me that would take too long) #also I'm literally so tortured and enthralled by the end of that first sentence North. its so funny to me but I'm so lost. #how did u hear about z/tara ?? why was it the crux of your interest in the show ?? when was this ?? but also yeah like I've said before #that ship is queerbaiting for straight pairings sdshdsh so you weren't the only one #allgremlinasks #atla #jianzhu #jetko #north tag

[mbrainspaz]

I knew this company's pay raise system was gonna be shit as soon as I found out they had a system, so what happened yesterday was not that surprising. After working my ass off through one of the hottest summers on record, innovating some stuff, basically puppeteering the actual manager to get things done right, and forging great relationships with clients who all wrote me glowing reviews, I got a 30 cent raise. Sorry—a 31 cent raise. The boss tells me it was calculated by how many good vs bad reviews the whole community got or something, and apparently we (the whole community) had gotten some bad reviews in the last year. Whatever? I didn't ask? She even went on to explain that that had nothing to do with me, personally. But you know, she can't help that the system works this way. If it were up to her she'd give me more, obviously. Spare me.

What that means is I'm still making less than $35k as a 30 year old with management experience who's been working in this field (in the fields lol) for around 15 years now. In f*cking H-town Texas, where it would cost me about half that income to live in an RV or a shed. I should know, I lived in an RV behind a shed for the last two years. (If you missed it I live in company housing now, which is the only reason I tolerate any of this nonsense.) The really weird thing was that the new corporate boss sits me down for this meeting and instead of just saying 'here's your raise, peasant,' she decides to play it up a little. She starts telling me this weird story about how the company always gives out christmas bonuses according to how much they value the employee. "You got yours, right?" I say, "yeah." And I'm sure to smile politely. It was $250 in visa gift cards. Nothing to sneeze at, but I've worked at a much smaller company that tried a profit sharing model before and I was getting an extra $400 a month there (until they realized they'd rather hoard the profits and stopped it after two months lol). Anyway, she goes on to recount this weird story about driving home from a company party and discovering an envelope full of $100 bills in her company gift baggie. "It was almost $1000," she told me with exaggerated awe. "Wow," I said politely. "So you know, the company sees your work and appreciates you." "That's great," I said politely.

I guess she doesn't know I got a $1000 pooled tip from the clients. 😬

That whole spiel was sickening though. "Ooh if you're a good little worker you'll get a fun treat!" I'm sure for her $1000 means a fun time like shoe shopping or fancy dinners. For me it's a drop in the rain barrel of my constantly leaking 'stay alive the next time rich people try to kill you' fund. I've been saving for years and I've still got a ways to go before I could even afford a downpayment on a moderately ok old van. I already used my company 'bonus' to buy a new pair of work boots, knee bandages, and some gloves because mine wear out every 6-8 months on the job.

sheesh.

#life of a texan peasant #worker's rights #essential worker life #millennial life #personal problems #things that happened #corporate american hellscape #capitalist hellscape #thanks I hate it #money nonsense #ugh rich people

[littorella]

So you want to start figure skating

You've seen the tiktoks, now you want to be in one. It's getting cold in northern hemisphere and that means it's time for you to get into skating. WINK

If you want to start, it's important to make careful decisions and to know what you're getting into. Skating is honestly a kind of meh community—people (actual skaters, not the fandom) mean well but they’re snobs.

I feel like I got super questionable advice when I started. Most of it straight up were LIES. I am a pleb, a low ambition skater. I find most of the experiences and advice originates from the context of elite-competitive skating. And it's mostly from parents of skating children. I don't know about you, but I am not a preteen trying to get to the olympics by age 18.

TLDR;

Just do whatever the fuck you want.

Age

No, you’re not too old to skate. If anyone said that, they're a lying sack of shit.

I once joked with a girl who was jumping doubles that if I lived at the rink all day maybe I’ll do that too. Her teenage eyes looked at my old ass self, and said “I don’t think so. You kind of have to start little”. Yeah ok bitch, you'll never learn anything new in life with that attitude.

Confidence

So yeah, um, not gonna lie. You will feel pretty awful about yourself. There will be an 8-year old who zooms by you and dominates and your inner shame will explode. But you get over it. Don't feel bad about feeling bad. It's natural and it will go away. I have written a lot about this before.

Money

Figure is expensive AF. just a true fact.

Ice time is 5-25 USD per hr, and you pay that EVERY time. You can choose wheels to cut cost, but nice skates are $400-1k no matter what discipline you pick. And as a grown ass person that weighs a reasonable amount, you need nice skates if you want to feel secure and not like you might break an ankle. Group classes run 10-25/lesson usually. Private coaching is more like 75-100/hr yikes.

You can try to cut costs by buying second hand, start on cheap skates, or use tiktok and instagram tutorials instead of a coach. That can only go so far; it will limit your level. If that's ok, cool, but know it's not realistic to learn to jump an axel on your own with a pair of $30 pond skates. If you get serious, it's pricey no matter what.

This is why skating is snobby. It's full of privileged rich bitches.

Injury

You will fall. Often. Don't be scared. In the beginning if you aren't falling, you aren't taking enough risk to learn. As you progress, it will stop. It hurts to fall, but it’s rare to seriously hurt yourself. Get some padding (crash pants for butt, knee pads, elbow pads, etc). Ice, you tend to slide so falls aren't bad. Ground, you get road rash so gear is way more important. Volley ball pads are great because they still allow you to move. You won't look cool, that's fine.

Expectations

Be realistic. If you want to be an elite skater like Nathan Chen, it ain’t happening. The fact you're reading this means you're not a toddler. There are rare exceptions (start ~12), but mostly, you just don't have enough time to learn the moves you need to be competitive before you acquire shitty incurable body, aka aging.

With that said, you can still accomplish amazing things. I find the tripleJumpOrBust! mentality damaging to the sport. It's as inaccessible and unpopular as it is because we can't just be cool with amateur skills. Nobody starts learning guitar expecting to be a chart topping musician--we're satisfied if we can play a song. So why not that with skating...

You don't even need to be able to do extremely difficult elements to be a professional (shows, teaching, etc). You decide what feels fulfilling for you. All you can really do is to master the next skill as it comes.

Inline vs. Quad Roller vs. Ice

These feel different, but you can accomplish almost all the same moves. Inline/ice are transferable skills. Quad roller doesn't really transfer to either. Be strategic and consider your access when you pick.

Ice is expensive and not always available, that's the only downer for me. I tend to prefer the glide feeling of it and the more forgiving falls. It is also the most "established" so there are more resources and coaches available, etc.

Wheels...people will try to convince you that you can roll anywhere. That's like a total fucking lie. These are not designed for textured surfaces like streets. You vibrate with chatter from bumpiness, and if you hit a crack, you're going down. To practice figure moves, you will need a large flat surface: parking, plazas, roller rinks, etc. And access is surprisingly hard--do you know where you will skate? I have lost count the number of times security guards have asked me to leave. Idle abandoned pavilion? I’ll take it.

Boots

Chatter everywhere on boots. Grand debate about quality, angles, ankles, whatever. If you're just starting, none of that matters. You aren't skilled enough to appreciate the diff. However, do not buy those shitty skates on Amazon. You will sprain your ankles. Try to buy your first pair in person so you know it will fit. Beginner skates like Jackson Softskates are around 60USD and a great way to try before committing more money. Impalas are pretty reasonable for roller.

If you have the dough to buy nicer ones (you're all in!) or are upgrading, ignore the pearl clutching about overbooting. This advice originates from fitting tiny children. You obviously don't invest in boots above a kid's level because their feet grow faster than their skill. Lucky for me, my feet don't grow! I most certainly invest in boots that last longer.

You don't need to jump doubles to wear a boot for doubles. There are some top level boots that might be uncomfortable, but again, you'll know if you try it on. I get told I am overboot in Edea Ice Fly all the time. Like, wtf dude, can you not keep that unsolicited opinion to yourself?

Look at these beauties, so drip.

Blades / Wheel frame

Same old story as boots. If you're starting out, whatever blade/frame comes with the boot is fine. As with boots, until you are advanced, the nuance is lost on you. You won't appreciate rocker differences unless you are doing like...camel spin. I have tried different blades, some fancy, some not. Honestly all freestyle blades feel similar.

The best blade is the one you skate on regularly and learn how to work with. Don't blame the equipment for your own lack of practice. There's lore and fuss about how magical John Wilson blades are. They're nice, a flex, that's all. If you suck, JW ain't going to make you not suck. (RIP me, I have JW CoroAce)

Same story with wheel frames. (I'm on Goldenhorse avant)

Coaching

Everyone insists you absolutely need a coach or you will learn things wrong, develop bad habits. Myth, bullshit, awful elitist lies. You can absolutely teach yourself the basics with resources on IG/YT (Adam Jukes for inline, Coach Julia, Michelle Hong, etc for ice are all amazing).

I have met so many skaters with coaches that have terrible form and habits. I have also met incredible self taught skaters. Bad habits and form is from your own lack of discipline and effort.

What you need is not coaching, it is feedback. And feedback you can get from fellow skaters, from filming yourself. Film and compare yourself in slo mo to other skaters and then see what you need to adjust. It's painful, but works. Most other skaters are also happy to help you with tips or a quick demo.

HOWEVER, I will say some advanced elements are going to be really hard on your own. Toe loop is one of these. You inevitably teach yourself a toe waltz and can see it but don't know how to fix it. Coach 1 told me to curtsy, fucking useless. Coach 2 told me to kick a soccer ball sideways and that worked. You have no idea what that means, but see, even coaching is a crap shoot sometimes.

If you can afford a coach or lessons, go for it. If you can't, you can still be ok. I have a coach for the tough stuff but I teach myself most things first so I can optimize the coaching time. Taught myself this bad ass move.

Testing / competitions

This is mostly for ice. I haven't seen too much organized roller / inline events. I personally find most events to be kinda scams. You don't need to do them to be a "real" skater. Tests and competitions are for you to participate in the community if you want. They're great ways for you to show off your skills if you want to be a performer, but they're not gates.

Test guidelines (just google them) are a great curriculum because they are organized in terms of difficulty. Some people find it useful to have a goal post motivator like a test event, that’s valid.

What's awful is that some people are super snooty about test levels. There was a rink director who refused to let me book freestyle ice time because I never tested FS to prove my level. Thank you for making your rink welcome and inclusive, Karen.

DIY Upkeep

I love the skate shop, but it's far away. I don't have the luxury of being able to drive 2hrs to go every time something bothers me. Every post online insists you cannot DIY without ruining your skates. Big fucking privileged lie.

You can and should DIY if you are comfortable. If your boots feel tight, use a shoe stretcher. If it feels too big and you can't exchange it, stuff some cotton/wool into the loose places. If your blade/frame feels off, get your screwdriver and move it around. I have done all of these things successfully. There are video and blogs for just about all issues.

#figure skating #advice #start skating #dispelling bullshit

[nachotrash]

MORE INCORRECT QUOTES

ft: @catchmewiddershins n @paradise-creator

Yaku: Dumbest scar stories, go! Pauline: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Iwa: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned. Shiyu: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Wid: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn. Akaashi: I have emotional scars.

----------------

Suga: What does “take out” mean? Yaku: Food. Iwa: Dating. Akaashi: Murder. Wid: It can be all three if you’re brave enough.

-------------------

Suga: Remember what I told you. Wid: Don’t be a cunt.

-----------------

Iwa: From now on we will be using code names. Iwa: You can address me as Eagle One. Iwa: Yaku is “been there done that”. Iwa: Akaashi is “currently doing that”. Iwa: Suga is “it happened once in a dream”. Iwa: Wid is “if I had to pick a dude/gal/enby”. Iwa: And Pauline is.. Iwa: Eagle Two Pauline: Oh thank god.

----------------

Akaashi: What do you call disobeying the law? The Squad: A hobby. Akaashi: *crosses their arms* The Squad: That we do not engage in.

-------------------

Suga: Hey, I see those leaves, where are you from? Shiyu: Illinois. Suga: AAYYYE, I KNEW IT! ME TOO! Pauline: Did you just identify a state by looking at its leaves.

------------------

Suga: *chokes on something* Wid: Jees, Suga, don't die on us. Suga: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

--------------------

Akaashi: You're a lying piece of shit! Shiyu: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Yaku: I'm leaving and I'm taking Iwa with me! Suga, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

---------------------

Pauline: I just want someone to take me out. Yaku: On a date? Iwa: With a sniper gun? Wid: Both if you're not a coward.

(YES YAKU X PAULINE)

------------------------

Shiyu: Holy shit, Pauline, do you know what this means?! Pauline: Kid, whenever you start doing this, nobody knows what you mean.

(pretty sure im the youngest here-)

---------------------

Pauline: Shiyu isn’t answering my messages. Iwa: Allow me. Pauline: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi- Shiyu: *replying to message* Hello.

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Yaku: Shiyu- Shiyu: *sighs* Pauline used to call me Shiyu... Yaku: ...Because it's your fucking name.

-------------------------

Shiyu: Rules were made to be broken. Wid: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Iwa: Uh, piñatas. Akaashi: Glow sticks. Pauline: Karate boards. Suga: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Shiyu: Rules. Wid:

--------------

Shiyu: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Yaku: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back... Akaashi: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Suga: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Pauline: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Wid: Mental stability, my old friend! Shiyu: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

----------------------

Pauline: Hey Suga, do you have any hobbies? Suga: Swimming.. Pauline: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to- Suga: In a pool of self hatred and regret.

------------------

Yaku: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Akaashi: No, that's not how you make cookies. Shiyu: FLOOR IT!! Yaku: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Akaashi: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Yaku: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Suga: DO IT! Akaashi: NO-

---------------

Yaku: How did none of you hear what I just said?! Wid: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Akaashi: I got distracted halfway through. Suga: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

----------------------

Iwa: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok? Yaku: Okay. *later* Pauline: Yaku! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble. Iwa, whispering: Deny everything. Yaku, loudly: That isn't a chair.

-------------------------

Pauline: Iwa doesn’t look very happy. Yaku: That's their happy. They're just a bitch.

-------------------

Iwa: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat? Suga: >:O language Shiyu: Yeah watch your fucking language Akaashi: Okay, who taught Shiyu the fuck word?! Pauline: 'The fuck word'. Wid: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time Shiyu: Oh my god they censored it Pauline: Say fuck, Wid. Shiyu: Do it, Wid. Say fuck.

(sounds like an actual conversation ngl)

-------------------------

Yaku: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends. Wid: ... Your what? Yaku: My friends. Suga: Are they saying “friends”? Pauline: I think they're being sarcastic. Shiyu: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Yaku! All of your friends are in this room.

---------

Yaku: Where's Iwa, Pauline, and Suga? Wid: They're playing hide and seek. Yaku: Where? Wid: I don't think you get how this game works.

------------

Wid: Akaashi, what are you doing? Akaashi: Making chocolate pudding. Wid: It's four in the morning, why are you making chocolate pudding? Akaashi: Because I've lost control of my life. Akaashi: Here's your pudding, Yaku. Yaku: Oh that's okay, I'm not hungry anymore.

-----------

Iwa: Hold on! I’m having one of those things….a headache with pictures. Yaku: What the fuck? Pauline: They’re having an idea.

----------------

Wid: Yaku's first detention, I'm so proud. Akaashi: Whoa, back up. Why did they get detention? Iwa: Because they're an idiot. Pauline, terrified: They can do that??

------------------

Pauline: *about Iwa and Wid* They make a cute couple, huh? Yaku: They certainly are standing next to each other.

(OK BUT LIKE, 👀👀👀👀👀)

-------------------

Wid: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant. Suga, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you. Yaku, who broke into their house an hour ago: Two sugars, please. Suga: Coming right up.

---------------

Akaashi: What's wrong with you? Yaku: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

----------------

Yaku: Why is Shiyu crying on the floor? Wid: They took one of those 'what person are you?' quizzes. Yaku: And? Wid: They got Pauline.

(id cry of happiness ngl)

------------

Wid: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Akaashi: Several traffic violations. Shiyu: Three counts of resisting arrest. Yaku: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Iwa: Also, that’s not our car.

#incorrect nacho

[frattynattyladdie]

McQueen: OK... Here we go. Focus. Speed. I am speed. McQueen: One winner. 42 losers. I eat losers for breakfast. McQueen: Breakfast. Wait, maybe I should have had breakfast. A little breck-y could be good for me. No,no,no, stay focused. Speed. McQueen: I'm faster than fast. Quicker than quick. I am Lightning! Mack: (knock-knock)Hey Lightning, are you ready? McQueen: Oh, yeah. Lightning's ready. Song McQueen: Ka-chow! Song Seller: Get your antenna here! Fans: You got that right, Slick. Bob Cutlass: Welcome back to the Dinoco 400. I'm Bob Cutlass, here with my good friend, Darrel Cartrip. We're midway through what may turn out to be a  historic day for racing. Darrel Cartrip: Bob, my oil pressure's through the roof right now. If this gets more exciting, they're gonna have to tow me outta the booth! Bob Cutlass: Right you are, Darrell. Three cars are tied for the season points lead, heading into the final race of the season. And the winner of this race Darrell, will win the season title and, the Piston Cup. Does The King, Strip Weathers, have one more victory in him before retirement? Darrell: He's been Dinoco's golden boy for years! Can he win them one last Piston Cup? Bob: And, as always, in the second place spot we find Chick Hicks. He's been chasing that tailfin his entire career. Darrell: Chick thought this was his year, Bob. His chance to finally emerge from The King's shadow. But the last thing he expected was...Lightning McQueen! Bob: You know, I don't think anybody expected this. The rookie sensation come into the season unknown. But everyone knows him now. Darrell: Will he be the first rookie to win a Piston Cup and land Dinoco? Bob: The legend, the runner up, and the rookie! Three cars, one champion! Song Chick: No you don't. Fans: Oohh. What a ride! Chick: Hahaha Fans: Go get'em, McQueen! Go get'em! Fans: We love you, Lightning! Chick: Dinoco is all mine. Race car: Ahhhh! Darrell: Trouble, turn three! Chick: Haha. Get through that, Mcqueen. Bob: Ouw.. A huge crash behind the leaders! Fans: Wahh!! Bob: Wait a second, Darrell. McQueen is in the wreckage. Darrell: There's no way the rookie can make it through! Not in one piece that is. Mia & Tia: Lightning, ahhh. Darrell: Look at that, McQueen made it through! Bob: Man, a spectacular move by Lightning McQueen. McQueen: Yeah! Ka-chow! Fans: McQueen (7X) Fan: Yeah McQueen! Ka-chow! Bob: While everyone else heads into the pits, McQueen stays out to take the lead! Broken car: Don't take me out coach. I can still race! Chick: Haha. What do you think boys? A thing of beauty. Chick's coach: McQueen made it through! Chick: What? Chick's coach: He's not pitting! Chick: Come on! Get me out there! Let's go! Get me back out there! Come on! Bob: McQueen's not going into the pits! Darrell: You know the rookie just fired his crew chief. That's the third one this season! Bob: Well he says he likes working alone Darrell. Chick's coach: Go, go, go! Bob: Looks like Chick got caught up in the pits. Darrell: Yeah, after a stop like that, he's got a lot of ground to make up.Get ready boys, we're coming to the restart! Chick: Come on, come on, come on! McQueen's crew: We need tires now! Come on, let's go! McQueen: No,no,no,no! No tires, just gas! McQueen's crew: What! You need tires, you idiot! Darrell: Looks like it's all gas-and-go's for McQueen today. Bob: That's right. No tires again. Darrell: Normally I said a short-term gain, long-term loss, but it's sure is workin' for him. He obviously knows somethin' we don't know. Bob: This is it Darrell, one lap to go and Lightning McQueen has a huge lead. Darrell: All he's got it in the bag. Call in the dogs and put out the fire! We're gonna crown us a new champion! McQueen: Checkered flag, here I come! Darrell: Oh, no! McQueen has blown a tire! Bob: And with only one turn to go! Can he make it? McQueen's crew: You fool! The King's Coach: McQueen's blown a tire!, McQueen's blown a tire! Go,go,go! Darrell: He lost another tire! The King and Chick are coming up fast! Bob: They're entering turn three! McQueen: Come on. Darrell: I don't belive what I'm watching, Bob! Darrell: Lightning McQueen is hundred feet from his Piston Cup! Bob: The King and Chick rounding turn four. Darrell: Down the stretch they come! And it's, and it's... Bob: It's too close to call! Too close to call! Darrell: I don't belive it! (2X) Mia & Tia: Lightning! Bob: The most spectacular, amazing unequivocally, unbelievable ending in the history of the world! And we don't even know who won! Darrell: Look at that! Security: Hey, no cameras! Get outta here! Kori Turbowitz: We're here in Victory Lane, awaiting the race results. McQueen that was quite a risky move, not taking tires. McQueen crew: Tell me about it. Kori Turbowitz: Are you sorry you don't have a crew chief out there? McQueen's Crew: Hah! McQueen: Oh Kori. There's a lot more to racing than just winning. I mean, taking the race by a full lap... Where's the entertainment in that? No no no... I wanted to give folks a little sizzle. McQueen's crew: Sizzle? McQueen: Am I sorry I don't have a crew chief? No, I'm not. Cause I'm a one-man show. McQueen crew: Whats? Oh, yeah right. Kori Turbowitz: That was a very confident Lightning McQueen. Coming to you live from Victory Lane, I'm Kori Turbowitz. Cameramen: Hey, get out of the shot! McQueen: Yo, Chuck, what are you doing? You're blocking the camera. Everyone wants to see the bolt. McQuenn crew: What? McQueen: Now, back away. McQueen's crew: Ahh! That's it. Come on guys. McQueen: Whoa, team! Where are going? McQueen's crew: We quit, Mr. One-Man Show! McQueen: Oh, OK, leave. Fine. Hahaha. How will I ever find anyone else who knows how to fill me up with gas? Adios Chuck! McQueen's crew: And my name is not Chuck! McQueen: Oh, whatever. Chuck: Hey, Lightning! Yo! McQueen! Seriously, that was some pretty darn nice racin' out there. By me! Hahaha! Chick's crew: Zinger Chick: Welcome to the Chick era, baby! The Piston Cup... It's mine dude. It's mine. Hey fellas, how do you think I'm look in Dinoco blue? Dinoco blue! Hahaha! McQueen: In your dreams Thunder. Chick: Yeah, right. Thunder? What's he talkin' about, "Thunder"? McQueen: You know, cause' thunder always comes after lightning. Pew, Kaka-phow! Chick: Who here knew about the thunder thing? Chick's crew: I didn't. Cameramen: Give us the bolt! Cameramen: That's right. Cameramen: Right in the lens. Cameramen: Show me the bolt, baby! Cameramen: Smile, McQueen! Cameramen: Show me the bolt, McQueen! Cameramen: That's it! Tex: Ohh we, that was one close finish. You sure made Dinoco proud. Thank you, King. The King: Well, Tex, you've been good to me all these years. It's the least I could do. Dear: Whatever happens, you're winner to me, you old daddy rabbit. The King: Thanks, dear. We wouldn't be nothing without you. Mia: I'm Mia. Tia: I'm Tia. Mia & Tia: We're like your biggest fans! Ka-chow! McQueen: I love being me. Security: OK, girls, that's it. Mia & Tia: We love you, Lightning! Some guys far away: We love you more!! The King: Hey, buddy. You're one gutsy racer. McQueen: Oh, hey, Mr. The King. The King: You got more talent in one lug nut than a lot of cars has got in their whole body. McQueen: Really? Oh, that... The King: But you're stupid. McQueen: Excuse me? The King: This ain't a one-man deal, kid. You need to wise-up and get you self a good crew chief and a good team. And you ain't gonna win unless you got good folks behind you, and you let them do their job, like they should. Like I tell the boys at the shop... McQueen: A good team. Yeahhh. Dreaming Song. Mia & Tia: Oh, McQueen. The King: If you figure that out, you just gonna be OK. McQueen: Oh, yeah, that.. That is spectacular advice. Thank you Mr. The King. Speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in Piston Cup history... McQueen: A rookie has won the Piston Cup. Yes!! Speaker: We have a three-way tie. Chick: Oh, ho. Hey, McQueen, that must be really embarrassing. But I wouldn't be worry about it. Because I didn't do it! Hahaha! Speaker: Piston Cup officials have determined that a tiebreaker race between the three leaders will be held in California in one week. Chick: Well, thank you! Thanks to all of you out there! Thank you! Hey, rook, first one to California gets Dinoco all to himself. Ahh! No, not me! No, you rock, and you know that! Balloon: Oh, yeah! Woaah!! McQueen: First one to California gets Dinoco all to himself. Ohh, we'll see who gets there first, Chick. Huh? Mack: Hey, kid! Congrats on the tie. McQueen: I don't want to talk about it. Come on, let's go, Mack. Saddle up. What'd you do with my trailer? Mack: I parked it at your sponsor's tent. McQueen: What? Mack: You gotta make your personal appearance. McQueen: No. No! No,no,no,no! McQueen: Yes, yes, yes! Lightning McQueen here. And I use Rust-eze Medicated Bumper Ointment, new rear end formula! Nothing soothes rusty bumper like Rust-eze. McQueen: Wow! Look at that shine! Use Rust-eze and you too can look like me! Ka-chow! Rust-eze Car: Hahaha. I met this car from Swampscott. He was so rusty he didn't even cast a shadow. Rust-eze Van: You could see his dirty undercarriage. Hahaha. McQueen: Uahh! I hate rusty cars. This is not good for my image. Mack: They did give you your big break. Besides, it's in your contract. McQueen: Oh, will you stop please? Just go get hooked up. Rust-eze Van: Winter is a grand old time. Rust-eze Car: Of this there are no ifs or buts. Rust-eze Van: But remember, all that salt and grime... Rust-eze Car: Can rust your bolts and freeze your... Rust-eze Van: Hey look! There he is! Our almost champ! Victory ran to your rear end in here, kid. Fan: Lightning McQueen, you are wicked fast! Fan: That race was a pisser! Fan: You were booking McQueen! McQueen: Give me a little room guys. Fred: You're my hero Mr.McQueen. McQueen: Yes, I know. Fred, Fred, thank you. Fred: He knows my name. He knows my name! Rust-eze Van: Looking good, Freddie! Rust-eze Car: Thanks to you Lightning, we had a banner year! Rust-eze Van: We might clear enough to buy you some headlights. Rust-eze Car: Are you saying he doesn't have headlights? Rust-eze Van: That's what I'm telling ya. It's just stickers! McQueen: Well, you know, racecars don't need headlights, because the track is always lit. Rust-eze Car: Yeah, well,so is my brother, but he still needs headlights. Hahaha McQueen: Hahaha! Ha!! Hahaha!! Rust-eze Car: Ladies and gentlemen, Lightning McQueen! Fans: Free Bird! McQueen: You know, the Rust-eze Medicated Bumper Ointment team ran a great race today. And remember, with a little Rust-eze...And an insane amount of luck, you too can look like me. Ka-chow. Rust-eze Car: Hey, kid. Rust-eze Van: We love ya. And we're looking forward to another great year. Just like this year. Hahaha. McQueen: Not on your life. Rust-eze Car: Don't drive like my brother! Rust-eze Van: Oh Yeah, don't drive like my brother! Mack: California, here we come! McQueen: Dinoco, here we come! Song McQueen: I needed this. Hello? Harv: Is this Lightning McQueen, the world's fastest racing machine? McQueen: Is this Harv, the world's greatest agent? Harv: And it is such a honor to be your agent and it almost hurts to take ten percent of your winnings and merchandising. And ancillary rights in perpetuity. Anyway, what a race! Hot champ! I didn't see it, but I heard you were great. McQueen: Thanks, Harv. Harv: Listen, they're giving you 20 tickets for the tiebreaker thing in Cali. I'll pass 'em on to your friends. You shoot me the names. You let Harv rock it for you. All right, baby? McQueen: Right. Friends. Yes, there's a... Harv: OK, I get it, Mr.Popular. So many friends you can't even narrow it down. Hey, when you get to town, you better make time for your best friend! You gotta break bread with your mishpoacheh here! McQueen: Yeah, yeah, that'd be great! We should totally... Harv: Ok, I gotta jump, kid. Let me know how it goes. I'm out. McQueen: What? A minivan? Oh, come on Mack, you're in the slow lane. This is Lightning McQueen you're hauling here Mack: Just stopping off for a quick breather, kid. Old Mack needs a rest. McQueen: Absolutely not. McQueen: We're driving straight to all night till we get to California. We agreed to it. Mack: All night? May I remind you, federal DOT regs state... McQueen: Come on, I need to get there before Chick get hang with Dinoco. Mack: Ahh, all those sleeping trucks. Hey kid, I don't know if I can make it. McQueen: Oh, sure you can, Mack. Look, it'll be easy. I'll stay up with you. Mack: All night? McQueen: All night long. McQueen: Zzzzz... DJ Song Snot Rod: Ah, ahh, achowww! Wingo: Hahaha! Boost: Hey, yo, DJ. DJ: What up? Boost: We got ourselves a nodder. DJ: Hahaha. Mack: Pretty music. Boost: Yo, Wingo! Lane change, man. Wingo: Right back at ya! Hahaha. Snot Rod: Yeah! Boost: Oops! I missed. Snot Rod: You going on vacation? Tuner team: Hahaha. Boost: Oh, no, Snot Rod... Wingo: He's gonna blow! Snot Rod: Ahh...ahhh...ahhh...achoowww!!! Mack: Gesundheit! Hoho. One should never drive while drowsy. McQueen: MACK! McQueen: Mack! McQueen: Mack! McQueen: Hey,Mack! Mack! McQueen: Mack! McQueen: Mack,wait for me! McQueen: Mack! McQueen: Mack! Mack! McQueen: Mack! Mack... McQueen:...wait up! Mack. McQueen: Mack! Mack! McQueen: What?You're not Mack. Peterbilt: Mack?I ain't no Mack!I'm a Peterbilt, for dang sake! Peterbilt: Turn on your lights, you moron! McQueen: Mack... The Interstate! Sheriff: Ahh!. Not in my town, you don't. McQueen: Oh, no...Oh, maybe he can help me! He's shooting at me! Why is he shooting at me! Sheriff: I haven't gone this fast in years. I'm gonna blow a gasket or somethin'. McQueen: Serpentine! Serpentine, serpentine! Sheriff: What in the blue blazes? Crazy hot rodder. Filmore: I'm telling you, man, every third blink is slower. Sarge: The sixties weren't good for you, were they? McQueen: What? That's not the Interstate! Ahh ho, Auw, auw,auw! Ahhhh! No, no, no, no! Filmore: I'm not the only seeing this, right? Sarge: Incoming! Filmore: Whoa man. Sarge: No! Ramone: Hey, you scratch my paint! McQueen: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Luigi: My tires! McQueen: Phoah! Red: Huh! McQueen: Uargh! Red: Huh! Filmore: Fly away, Stanley. Be free! Sheriff: Boy, you're in a heap of trouble. Kori Turbowitz: We're live at the Los Angeles International Speedway as the first competitor, Lightning McQueen, is arriving at the track. Cameramen: Is it true he's gonna pose for Cargirl? Cameramen: Lightning, what's your strategy? Woahh! Mack: What? Did I forget to wipe my mud flaps? News: McQueen's driver arrived in California, but McQueen was missing. News: Racecar Lightning McQueen was reported missing. News: He scheduled to race an unprecedented... News: Sponsor stated they have no idea where he is. Junior: I hope Lightning's OK. I sure hate to see anything bad happen to him. Jay Limo: I don't know what's harder to find, Lightning McQueen or a crew chief who'll work for him! Hummer: Lightning McQueen must be found at all costs! News: They're all asking the same question: Where is McQueen? McQueen: Oh, boy. Where am I? Mater: Mornin', sleepin' beauty! McQueen: Ahhhhh!! Mater: Hahaha! Boy, I was wonderin' when you was gonna wake up. McQueen: Take whatever you want! Just don't hurt me! a parking boot? Why do I have a parking boot on? What's going on here? Please! Mater: You're funny. I like you already. My name's Mater. McQueen: Mater. Mater: Yeah, like "tuh-mater", but without the "tuh". What's your name? McQueen: You don't know my name? Mater: Uhh, no, I know your name. Is your name Mater too? McQueen: What? Look, I need to get to California as fast as possible. Where am I? Mater: Where are you? Shoot! You're in Radiator Springs. The cutest little town in Carburetor County. McQueen: Oh, great. Just great! Mater: Well, if you think that's great, you should see the rest of the town. McQueen: You know, I'd love to see the rest of the town! So if you could just open the gate, take this boot off, you and me, we go cruisin', check out the local scene... Mater: Dad-gum! McQueen: How'd that be, Tuh-Mater? Mater: Cool Sheriff: Mater! What did I tell you about talkin' to the accused? Mater: To not to. Sheriff: Well, quit yer yappin' and tow this delinquent road hazard to traffic court. Mater: Well, we'll talk later, Mater. Haha. "Later, Mater." That's funny! Sheriff: The Radiator Springs Traffic Court will come to order! Ramone: Hey, you scratched my paint! I ought take a blowtorch to you, man! Luigi: You broke-a the road! You a very bad car! Fillmore: Fascist! Commie! McQueen: Officer, talk to me, babe. How long is this gonna take? I gotta get to California, pronto. Sheriff: Where's your lawyer? McQueen: Tuh, I don't know. Tahiti maybe. He's got a timeshare there. Sheriff: When a defendant has no lawyer, the court will assign one to him. Hey! Anyone want to be his lawyer? Mater: Shoot, I'll do it, Sheriff! Sheriff: All rise! The Honorable Doc Hudson presiding. Luigi: Show-off. Sheriff: May Doc have mercy on your soul. Doc Hudson: All right, I wanna know who's responsible for wreckin' my town, Sheriff. I wanna his hood on a platter! I'm gonna put him in jail till he rots! No, check that. I'm gonna put him in jail till the jail rots on top of him, and then I'm gonna move him to a new jail and let that jail rot. I'm... Throw him out of here, Sheriff. I want him out of my courtroom. I want him out of our town! Case dismissed. McQueen: Yes! Mater: Boy, I'm purty good at this lawyerin' stuff. Sally: Sorry I'm late, Your Honor! McQueen: Holy Porsche! She's gotta be from my attorney's office. Hey, thanks for comin', we're all set. He's letting me go. Sally: He's letting you go? McQueen: Yeah, your job's pretty easy today. All you have to do now is stand there and let me look at you. Listen, I'm gonna cut to the chase. Me, you, dinner. Ka-chow! Sally: What the...? Auww! Please! McQueen: I know, I get that reaction a lot. I create feelings in others that they themselves don't understand. Sally: Ohhh, auww! McQueen: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I scare you? Mater: Well, a little bit, but I'll be alright. Sally: OK. I'm gonna go talk to the judge. McQueen: Do what you gotta do, baby. Oh, but listen. Be careful. Folks around here are not firing on all cylinders, if you know what I mean. Mater: Ka-ching! Auww! Sally: I'll keep that in mind. Hey there, Mater. Mater: Howdy, Sally. Sally: Hi, folks! Folks: Good morning! Sally. McQueen: You know her? Mater: She's the town attorney and my fiancee. McQueen: What? Mater: Nah, I'm just kiddin'. She just like me for my body. Sally: Doc, you look great this morning. Did you do something different with your side view mirrors? Doc: What do you want, Sally? Sally: Ah, come on, make this guy fix the road. The town needs this. Doc: No. I know his type. Racecar. That's the last thing this town needs. Sally: OK, I didn't want to have to do this, Doc, but you leave me no choice. Fellow citizens, you're all aware of our town's proud history. Doc: Here she goes again. Sally: Radiator Springs, the glorious jewel strung on the necklage of Route 66, the mother road! It is our job and our pleasure to take care of the travelers on our stretch of that road. Sarge: Travelers? What travelers? Filmore: Ignore him. Sally: But how, I ask you, are we to care for those travelers if there is no road for them to drive on? Luigi, what do you have at your store? Luigi: Tires Sally: And if no one can get to you? Luigi: I won't sell any...tires. I will lose everything! Ohho. Sally: Flo, what do you have at your store? Flo: I have gas. Lotsa gas! Sally: OK boys, stay with me. And, and, Flo, what'll happen if no one can come to your station to buy gas? Flo: I'll go outta business and... we'll have to leave town. Sally: And what's gonna happen to all of us if Flo leaves town and closes her station? Folks: Without gas, we're done for! Lizzie: What? Sally: So, don't you think the car responsible should fix our road? Lizzie: The only guy strong enough to fix that road is Big Al! Ramone: Lizzie, the guy left, like, 15 years ago. Lizzie: Then why are you bringing him up, you lemon? Sally: Oh, he can do it. He's got the horsepower. So, what do you want him  to do? Folks: Fix the road! Sally: Because we are a town worth fixing! Folks: Yeah!!! Doc: Order in the court! Seems like my mind has been changed for me. Folks: Yeah!! McQueen: No! Filmore: Nice rulin'. McQueen: Ohh, I am so not take you to dinner. Sally: That's OK, Stickers. You can take Bessie. Mater: Oh man, you got to work with Bessie! I'd give my left two lug nuts for somethin' like that. McQueen: Bessie? Who's Bessie? Doc: This here is Bessie, finest road-pavin' machine ever built. I'm hereby sentencing you to community service. You're gonna fix the road under my supervision. McQueen: What? This place is crazy! Mater: Hey, I know this may be a bad time right now, but tha, you owe me $32,000 in legal fees. McQueen: What? Doc: So we're gonna hitch you up to sweet Bessie, and you're gonna pull her nice. McQueen: You're gotta be kidding me. Doc: You start there where the road begins, you finish down there where the road ends. Mater: Holy shoot! McQueen: Whoa, whoa, whoa! How long is this gonna take? Doc: Well, fella does it right, should take him about five days. McQueen: Five days? But I should be in California schmoozing Dinoco right now! Doc: Then if I were you, I'd quit yappin and start workin'! Hook him up, Mater. Mater: Okay-dokey. McQueen: Freedom!! Mater: Maybe I should've-a hooked him up to Bessie...and then-a...then took the boot off. McQueen: Wuuuhuuu! Goodbye, Radiator Springs, and goodbye, Bessie! California, here I come! Yeah! Oh, fell that wind. Yes! No,no,no,no! Outta gas? How can I be outta gas? Sheriff: Hahaha. Boy, we ain't as dumb as you think we are. McQueen: But,but,but how did, how did...you...? Sally: We siphoned your gas while you were passed out. Ka-chow. McQueen: Auw,auw,auw,auw,auwww!! Sheriff: Hahaha. Sheriff: Gentlemen. Sarge: Sheriff. Filmore: Hai, Sheriff. Luigi: Why the tires are here? Guido: Sono sempre stati qui. Luigi: They were better well before. Guido: Stai sempre a parlare. Luigi: Guido! Lizzie: Red, can you move over? I want to get look at that sexy hot rod. Mater: You know, I used to be a purty good whistler. I can't do it now of course, on account of sometimes I get fluid built up in my engine block, but Doc said he's gonna fix it dough. He can fix about anything. That's why we made him the judge. Boy, you shoulda heard me on Giddy-up, Oom Papa Mow Mow. Now, I'm not one to brag, but people come purty far to see me get low on the "Mow-Mow". McQueen: Ah? Ah, man, that's just great! Mater: Hey, what's wrong? McQueen: My lucky sticker's all dirty. Mater: Thaah, that ain't nothin'. I'll clean it for ya. McQueen: No,no,no! That wouldn't be necessary. Hey! Hey, big fella! Yeah, you in the red! I could use a little hose down. Help me wash this off. What, where's he goin'? Mater: Oh, he's still a little bit shy, and he hates you for killin' his flowers. McQueen: I shouldn't have to put up with this. I'm a precision instrument of speed and aerodynamics. Mater: You hurt your what? McQueen: I'm a very famous racecar! Luigi: You are a famous racecar? A real racecar? McQueen: Yes, I'm a real racecar. What do you think? Look at me. Luigi: I have followed racing my entire life of my whole life! McQueen: Then you know who I am. I'm Lightning McQueen. Luigi: Lightening McQueen! McQueen: Yes! Yes! Luigi: I must scream it to the world! My excitement from the top of someplace very high! Do you know many Ferraris? McQueen: No,no,no. They race on the European circuit. I'm in the Piston Cup! What? Luigi: Luigi follow only the Ferraris. Flo: Is that what I think it is? Sally: Customers. Customers! Customers, everyone! Customers! OK. Lizzie: Customers? Sally: All right, everybody calm down for a long time. Just remember what we rehearsed. Make sure your "Open, please come in" signs are out. And you all know what to do. All right, nobody panics. Here we go! Minny: Van, I just don't see any on-ramp anywhere. Van: Minny, I know exactly where we are. Minny: Yeah, we're in the middle of nowhere. Van: Honey, please. Sally: Hello. Welcome to Radiator Springs, gateway to  Ornament Valley. Legendary for it's quality service and friendly hospitality. How can we help you? Van: We don't need anything, thank you very much. Minny: Whoa, honey ask her direction to the Interstate. Van: There's no need to ask for directions. Minny, I know exactly where we're going. Minny: He did the same thing on our trip to Shakopee. You know, we were headed over there for the Crazy Days, and we... Van: OK,OK. Really. We're just peachy, OK? Filmore: What you really need is the sweet taste of my homemade, organic fuel. Van: No, it doesn't agree with my tank. Minny: We're just trying to find the Interstate. Sarge: Good to see you, Soldier! Come on by Sarge's Surplus Hut for all your government surplus needs. Minny: Ohh, honey, surplus! Van: I think we have too much surplus. Sally: I do have a map over the Cozy Cone Motel. And if you do stay, we offer a free Lincoln Continental breakfast. Minny: Honey, she's got a map. Van: I don't need a map! I have the GPS. Never need a map again, thank you. Flo: How 'bout somethin' to drink? Stop at Flo's V8 Cafe. Finest fuel on Route 66. Van: No, we just top off. Luigi: And if you need tires, stop by Luigi's Casa Della Tires, home of the Leaning Tower of Tires. Minny: We're just trying to find the Interstate. Ramone: But you do need a paint job man. Ramone will paint you up right. Hey, anything you want! You know, like a flame job. Minny: No, thanks... Ramone: Maybe ghost flames! You like old school pinstripin'? Von Dutch style ha? Minny: Oh, honey, look. Von Dutch. Van: Oh, ho, OK, no. Ahahaha. We're gonna be going now, OK? Auww! Lizzie: A little somethin' to remember us by, OK? Van: Oh,ha,ha. OK! Sally: Come back soon, OK? I mean, you know where we are! Tell your friends! Van: HohohOK! Yes. You bet. Minny: Thanks again, folks. Bye-bye now. McQueen: Psst! Psst! Hey! Hey, hey,hey! I know how to get to the Interstate! Minny: Oh, do ya? Van: Minny, no. McQueen: Yeah, yeah,yeah. No, not really. But listen. I'm Lightning McQueen, the famous racecar. I'm being held heren against my will. And I need you to call my team, so they can rescue me, and get me to California in time for me to win The Piston Cup. Do you understand? McQueen: No,no,no,no,no. No, It's the truth! I'm telling you! You gotta help me! Don't leave me here! I'm in hillbilly hell! My IQ's dropping by the second! I'm becoming one of them! Sally: OK, don't worry. They know where we are now. They're gonna tell their friends. You'll see. Radio: And we'll be back for our Hank Williams marathon... Sally: That's good. Radio:...after a Piston Cup update. Still no sign of Lightning McQueen. Meanwhile, Chick Hicks arrived in California and today became the first car to spend practice time on the track. Chick: Yeah, well it's just nice to get out here before the other competitors. You know, get a headstart. Gives me an edge. Dreaming Song Chick: Yeah. Chick: Hey, McQueen... Eat your heart out. McQueen: Mater, let me get this straight. I can go when this road is done. That's the deal, right? Mater: That's what they done did said. McQueen: OK. Outta my way. I got a road to finish. Mater: He's done! Doc: Done? Mater: Ahmhm. Doc: It's only been an hour. McQueen: I'm done. Look, I'm finished. Just say thank you, and I'll be on my way. That's all I gotta say. Mater: Weehoo! I'm the first one on the new road! Ahho! It rides purty smooth. Sally: It looks awful! McQueen: Well, it matches the rest of the town. Sally: Ahh. Red: Umph, huhuhuh. Sally: Red. Who do you think you are? McQueen: Look, Doc said when I finish, I could go. That was the deal. Doc: The deal was you fix the road, not making it worse. Now, scrape it off! Start over again. McQueen: Hey, look, grandpa, I'm not a bulldozer. I'm a racecar. Doc: Hohoho. Is that right? Then why don't we just have a little race? Me and you. Sally: What? McQueen: Hohoho. Me and you. Is that a joke? Doc: If you win, you go and I fix the road. If I win, you do the road my way. Sheriff: Doc, what're you doin'? McQueen: Hahaha. I don't mean to be rude here Doc, but you probably go zero to sixty in like what? Three-point-five years? Doc: Then I reckon you ain't got nothin' to worry about. McQueen: You know what old timer? That's a wonderful idea. Let's race. Sheriff: Gentlemen, this will be a one-lap race. You will drive to Willy's Butte, go around Willy's Butte and come back. There will be no bumpin', no cheatin', no spittin', no bittin', no road rage, no maimin', no oil slickin', no pushin', no shovin', no backstabbin', no road-hoggin' and no lollygaggin'. McQueen: Speed. I'm speed. Float like a Cadillac, sting like a Beemer. Luigi: OhHohohoo. My friend Guido, he dream to give a real racecar a pit stop. Guido: Pit stop. McQueen: Aa, haha. The race is only one lap, guys. Uno lappo! Don't need any help. I work solo mio. Luigi: Fine. Race your way. McQueen: No pit stoppo. Comprendo? Guido: OK. Sheriff: Gentlemen. Start your engines! Ramone: Hijole! Check that out! Filmore: Whoa. Flo: Emm, emm. Sally: Great idea, Doc. Now the road will never get done. Sheriff: Luigi. Luigi: Hohoho. On your mark, get set. Uno for the money, due for the show, tre to get ready, and quattro to... I can't belive it. Go!! Hahaha. Doc: Yehaa! Hahaha! Sally: Yeah. Luigi: Huh? Doc, the flag means go. Remember the flag. Here we go. Go. Ramone: Uhh, Doc, what are you doing, man? Doc: Oh, dear. It would seem I'm off to a poor start. Well, better late than never. Come on, Mater. Might need a little help. Mater: Ahh, OK. Doc: You got your tow cable? Mater: Well, yeah. I always got my tow cable. Why? Doc: Ohh, just in case. McQueen: Ahh,auw,auw,auw,no,no,no,no,no! Ramone: Oh, man! Auww!! Filmore: Whoa. Bad trip, man. Doc: Hey! Was that floatin' like a Cadillac, or was that stingin' like a Beemer? I'm confused. Mater: Eh,eh,eh. Doc: You drive like you fix roads. Lousy! Have fun fishin', Mater McQueen: Ahhh! Mater: I'm startin' to think he knowed you was gonna crash! McQueen: Thank you, Mater. Thank you. McQueen: I can make a little turn on dirt. You think? No. And now I'm a day behind. I'm never gonna get outta here! Ramone: Hey, ese! You need a new paint job, man! McQueen: No, thank you. Filmore: How 'bout some organic fuel? Sarge: That freak juice? McQueen: Pass. Flo: Whooh, watchin' him workin' is makin' me thirsty. Anybody else want somethin' to drink? Mater: Nah, not me, Flo. I'm on one of them there special diets. I'm a precisional instrument of speed and aero-matics. McQueen: "You race like you fix roads." I'll show him. I will show him! McQueen: Great! I hate it! Hate, hate, hate, hate it!! Doc: Haha. Music. Sweet music. Sally: Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. McQueen: Radiator Springs, a happy place. Bessie: Peckkk. McQueen: Whoa, OK, Bessie you think that funny? Great! I'm talking to Bessie now! I'm talkin to Bessie!! Mater: Hahaha. Sally: Wow. Mater: Mornin', Sally! Hey, look at this here fancy new road that Lightnin' McQueen done just made! Sally: Yes! Amazing! Ramone: Yeah! Flo: Ohh, Ramone, Mama ain't seen you that low in years. Ramone: I haven't seen a road like this in years. Flo: Well, then let's cruise, baby. Ramone: Low and slow. Luigi: E Bellissima! It's beautiful! Guido, look, it's a like it was paved by angels. Ohhh. Mater: Oh, I tell you what. I bet even the roads on the moon ain't this smooth. Sally: Doc, look at this. Shoulda tossed him into the cactus a lot sooner, huh? Doc: Well, he ain't finished yet. Still got a long way to go. Luigi: Guido, look at Luigi! Hahaha. This is fantastico! Sally: That looks like fun! Mater, I got dibs, next turn! Lizzie: Hey, Luigi, this new road makes your place look like a dump. Luigi: Ahhh, that crazy old devil woman. Ohh, ohh. She's right! Sally: Ohh, ahh! Luigi: Guido! Doc: That punk actually did a good jab. Well, now... where the hack is he? Doc: Sheriff! Is he makin' another run for it? Sheriff: No,no. He ran outta asphalt in the middle of the night, asked me if he could come down here. All he's tryin' to do is make that there turn. McQueen: No,no,no,no! Ohh, great. Perfect turns on every track I've ever raced on. Doc: Sheriff, why don't you go get yourself a quart of oil at Flo's. Doc: I'll keep an eye on him. Sheriff: Well, thanks, Doc. I've been feelin' a quart low. McQueen: Ahhhhh! Phuahh, thahh! Doc: This ain't asphalt, son. This is dirt. McQueen: Oh, great. What do you want? You hear to gloat? Doc: You don't have three-wheel brakes, so you got to pitch it hard, break it loose and then just drive it with the throttle. Give it too much, you'll be outta the dirt and into the tulips. McQueen: So you're a judge, a doctor and a racing expert. Doc: I'll put it simple. If you goin' hard enough left, you'll find yourself turnin' right. McQueen: Ooo, right. That makes perfect sense. Turn right to go left. Yes! Thank you! Or should I say,"No thank you"? Because in Opposite World, maybe that really means, "Thank you"! Tuh, crazy grandpa car. What an idiot! Doc: Ahhh. McQueen: Turn right to go left. Oh. Whoa, auwwww. Oh, that... AUUUUUWWWWWW!!! McQueen: Turn right to go left. Guess what. I tried it. You know what? This crazy thing happened... I went right! Lizzie: You keep talkin' to yourself, people'll think you crazy. McQueen: Thanks for the tip. Lizzie: What? I wasn't talkin' to you. Sally: Oh, Guido, e bellissimo! Guido: Che cosa? Sally: It looks great! This is great! Guido: Ti piace, eh? Si, si, bellissimo. Mater: Ummmph. Oh, lord. Hehehe. Sheriff: Mater! I need you to watch the prisoner tonight. Mater: Well, dad-gum! Wait a minute, what if he tries to run again? Sheriff: Just let him run outta gas and tow him on back. But keep an eye on him. Mater: Yes, sir! McQueen: While I'm stuck here paving this stinkin' road, Chick's in California schmoozing Dinoco. My Dinoco. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who's touching me? Luigi: You have a slow leak. Guido, he fix. You make a such a nice new road. You come to my shop. Luigi take a good care of you. Eventhough you not a Ferrari. You buy four tires, I give you a full size spare absolutely free! McQueen: Look, I get all my tires for free. Luigi: Hohoho.. I like your style, eh? You drive the hard bargain. OK. Luigi make you a new deal. You buy one tire, I give you three for free! Flo: Aaa... Would you look at that? Ramone, Ramone! Ramone: Hm,hm,hm. Luigi: Then Luigi make you a new deal McQueen: No,no,no,no. Deal me out. Pass. No, thank you. Luigi: No,no,no,no,no. This is it. My last offer. You buy one tire, I give you seven-a snow tire for all free! Done. You interested, you call me. You know where I am. McQueen: Fuuuhhh. Ahhhh. Stop! Let me...Tuhh, puahh!! sally: Oh, Red, you missed a spot. See it right there? On the hood right there. McQueen: No, no! Noooo!! Stop, stop! That cold!! Help! Please! Stop! Sally: Thanks, Red. McQueen: What was that for? Sally: Do you want to stay at the Cozy Cone or what? McQueen: Huh? Sally: And if you do, you gotta be clean. 'Cause even here in hillibilly hell we have standards. McQueen: What,I...? I don't get it. Sally: Nothing I just thought I'd say thank you for doin' a great job. So I thought I'd let you stay with me. I mean, not with me! But there. Not with me there, but there in your own Cozy Cone. And I'd be in my cone, and it's... McQueen: Wait. Wait, you're being nice to me. Sally: I mean if you want to stay at the dirty impound, thats, thats fine. You know, I understand you criminal types. McQueen: No,no,no,no. That's OK. Yeah, the Cozy Cone. Sally: Ehhh. It's newly refurbished McQueen: Haha. Yeah, it's like a clever little twist the motel's made out of caution cones, which, of course, cars usually try to avoid, now we're gonna stay in them. Haha. That's funny. Sally: Figure that all out on your own, did you? Cone number one, if you want. McQueen: Auuhhh. McQueen: Hey, do I spy a little pinstriping tattoo back there? Sally: Auuww. Haha. That's just a... Ahhahaha. Auuww. You saw that? Yeah! Just gonna be going. Gonna...Yeah. Mater: You know, I once knew this girl Doreen. Good-lookin' girl. Looked just like a Jaguar, only she was a truck! You know, I used to crash into her, just so I could spoke to her. McQueen: What are you talking about? Mater: I don't know. Hey, I know somethin' we can do tonight, 'cause I'm in charge of watchin' you! McQueen: No, Mater, I gotta finish this road, and I have to get out of here. Mater: Well, that's all right, Mr. I Can't Turn On Dirt. You probably couldn't handle it anyway. McQueen: Whoa, whoa, easy now, Mater. You know who you're talkin' to? This is Lightning McQueen. I can handle anything. McQueen: Mater, I'm not doin' this. Mater: Oh, come on, you'll love it. Hehehe. Tractor-tippin's fun. McQueen: This is ridiculous. Mater: All right, listen. When I say go, we go. But don't let Frank catch ya. Go! McQueen: Whoa! Wait! Who, who's Frank? Mater. Wait, Mater! Mater: OK, here's what you do. You just sneak up in front of 'em, and then honk. And they do the rest. Watch this. Mater: Hahahaha. I swear, tractors is so dumb! I tell you what, buddy, you don't get much better than this. McQueen: Yep, you're livin' the dream, Mater boy. Mater: I don't care who you are, that's funny right there. Oh, you turn, bud. McQueen: Mater, I can't. I don't even have a horn. Mater: Baby. McQueen: I'm not a baby. Mater: Puuuck, puck, puck. McQueen: Fine. Stop! stop, OK? All right. I'll do something. Mater & McQueen: Hahahahaha!!! Mater: That's Frank. McQueen: Ahhhh!! Mater: Run, hahaha , run!!! Mater: Run! He's gonna get ya! Hahaha!! Sally: Customers! Mater: Tomorrow night we can go look for the ghostlight! McQueen: I can't wait, Mater. Mater: Oh, yeah, I'm tellin' ya! Oh, boy, you gotta admit that was funnn unn! McQueen: Oh, yeah...yeah. Mater: Well, we better get you back to the impound lot. McQueen: You know, actually, Sally's gonna let me stay at the motel. Mater: Aaaa... Gettin' cozy at the Cone, is we? McQueen: Oh, come...No. No, are you kidding? Besides, she can't stand me. And I don't like her, to be honest. Mater: Yeah, you probably right. Hey, look, there's Miss Sally! McQueen: Where, where? Mater: Hahaha. You're in love with Miss Sally. McQueen: No, I'm not. Mater: Yes, you do. McQueen: No way. Mater: Way. McQueen: Come on, look Mater: You're in love with Miss Sally(2X) McQueen: OK, that's real mature Mater, real grown up. Mater: You love her (7X) McQueen: Wait...All right. OK. Mater, Mater, Mater, no. Will you stop that? Mater: Stop what? McQueen: That's driving backwards stuff. It's creeping me out. You're gonna wreck on somethin'. Mater: Wreck? Shoot! I'm the world's best backwards driver! You just watch this right here, lover boy. McQueen: What are you doing? Watch out! Look out! Mater? Mater! Mater! McQueen: Hey take it easy, Mater! Mater: Waaaaaaa! Ha,ha,ha! Hee,hee. McQueen: Hahaha. He's nuts. Mater: No need to watch where I'm goin'. Just need to know where I've been. McQueen: Whoa, that was incredible! How'd you do that? Mater: Rearview mirrors. We'll get you some, and I'll teach you if you want. McQueen: Yeah, maybe I'll use it in my big race. Mater: What's so important about this race of yours, anyway? McQueen: It's not just a race. We're talking about the Piston Cup! I've been dreaming about it my whole life! I'll be the first rookie in history ever to win it. And when I do, we're talkin' big new sponsor, with private helicopters. No more medicated bumper ointment. No more rusty old cars. Mater: What's wrong with rusty old cars? McQueen: Well, I don't mean you, Mater. I mean other old cars. You know? Not like you. I like you. Mater: Nahhh, it's OK, buddy. Hey, you think maybe one day I can get a ride in one of them helicopters? I mean, I've always wanted to ride in one of them fancy helicopters. McQueen: Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure. Mater: You mean it? McQueen: Oh, yeah. Anything you say. Mater: I knew it. I knowed I made a good choice! McQueen: In what? Mater: My best friend. Mater: See you tomorrow, buddy! McQueen and Sally parked beneath a tree, K-I-S somethin'-somethin'-somethin'-t!! McQueen: Hahaha! Whoa, whoa. Haha. McQueen: Number one. Number one...Ahhh...Number one! McQueen: Ahh, this is nice. Sally: Hey, Stickers. McQueen & Sally: Huh!! Sally: I'm sorry. McQueen: Wohho!! You scared me. You gotta be careful. Sally: I scared myself scaring you scaring me. McQueen: I mean, I wasn't like "scared" scared. Sally: No, of course not. Not. McQueen: I was more... Sally: Just I overheard you talkin' to Mater. McQueen: When? Just, just now? What, what did, what did you hear? Sally: Oh, just something about a helicopter ride. McQueen: Oh, yeah. Yeah, he got a kick out of that, didn't he? Sally: Did you mean it? McQueen: What? Sally: That you'll get him a ride. McQueen: Oh, who knows? I mean first things first. I gotta get outta here and make the race. Sally: Ah, hah. You know...Mater trusts you. McQueen: Yeah, OK. Sally: Did you mean that? McQueen: What? Sally: Was it just a "Yeah, OK", or "Yeah...OK" or"Yea-yeah, OK" McQueen: Look, I'm exhausted. It's kinda been a long day. Sally: Yeah, OK. G'night. McQueen: Oh ah. Hey, thank you. Sally: What did you just say? McQueen: You know, thanks for lettin' me stay here. It's nice to be out of the impund, and this is... It's great. Newly refurbished, right? Sally: Yeah. McQueen: Good night. Sally: Good night. Sally: Huhh. Sarge: Will you turn that disrespectful junk off? Filmore: Respect the classics, man. It's Hendrix! McQueen: Ahh...huh...please...huh... Dreaming Song McQueen: No!! Frank: Uarghhh!! McQueen: Noooo!!! I gotta get outta here! McQueen: Hey, have you seen the Sheriff? Oh! Oh, my gosh. Oh! Doc: Hey, what are you doin'? Sheriff: Get a good peak, city boy? McQueen: I,a..a..I just need my daily gas ration from the Sheriff. Doc: Wait for him at Flo's. Now get outta here. McQueen: I've been trying to get outta here for three days! Sheriff: Hope you enjoyed the show! McQueen: Whoaho, Doc. Time to clean out the garage, buddy, come on. McQueen: What? He has a Piston Cup? McQueen: Oh, my gosh. Three Piston Cup? Doc: Sign says stay out. McQueen: You, you have three Piston Cups. How could you have... Doc: I knew you couldn't drive. I didn't know you couldn't read. McQueen: You're the Hudson Hornet! Doc: Wait over at Flo's, like I told ya! McQueen: Of course. I can't belive I didn't see it before. You're The Fabulous Hudson Hornet! You still to hold the record for most wins in single season. Oh, we gotta talk. You gotta show me your tricks. Please. Doc: I already tried that. McQueen: And you won the championship three times! Look at those trophies! Doc: You look. All I see is a bunch of empty cups. Filmore: You know, some automotive yoga could really lower your RPM's, man. Sarge: Oh, take a car wash, hippie. Flo: Yeah, look at my husband, y'all. Hooo...That's your color! Ramone: Yellow, baby. Hahaha. Flo: Mmm! You smokin' hot! Sheriff: There he is! McQueen: Oh, my gosh! Did you know Doc is a famous racecar? Folks: Hahahaha! Sheriff: Doc? Our Doc? Sarge: Not Doc Hudson. McQueen: No,no,no,no, it's true! He's a real racing legend. He's The Fabulous Hudson Hornet! Flo: Fabulous? I never seen Doc drive more than 20 miles an hour. I mean, have you ever seen him race? McQueen: No, but I wish I could have of. They say he was amazing! He wins three Piston Cups. Mater: Phooah!! He did what in his cup? Sheriff: I think the heat's startin' to get to the boy! Lizzie: Well, I'll say! Look how red he is! Ramone: Yeah, I think he needs a new coat of poly, man. Mater: Are you sick, buddy? Sheriff: You are lookin' a little peaked. Ramone: Yeah, he needs a new coat of poly for sure! Sheriff: Hey, hey! What are you doin'? Sally: It's OK, Sheriff. You can trust me, right? Sheriff: I trust you, all right. It's him I'm worried about. Sally: Mmm... I trust him. Come on, let's take a drive. McQueen: A drive? Sally: Yeah, a drive. Don't you big city racecars ever just take a drive? McQueen: Ahhh...No. No, we don't. Sally: Hey, Stickers! Do you comin' or what? Flo: Ahmm. And you thought he was gonna run. Ramone: Hey, can you believe it, man? He actually thought Doc was a famous racecar! Hahaha... That's so too much!! McQueen: OK, you got me out here. Where are we goin'? Sally: I don't know. McQueen: Whoa! Yes. Sally: Hahaha. McQueen: Whoa! Hahaha. Uahh!! Sally: Hahaha. McQueen: Thahhh! Sally: Ah.. hahaha! Sally: Ah.. hahaha! McQueen: Hahaha! Thuhhh!!Thuhh!! McQueen: Wow! What is this place? Sally: Wheel Well. Used to be the most popular stop on the mother road. McQueen: This place? Sally: Yeah, imagine...Oh, imagine what it must have been like to stay here. McQueen: You know, I don't get you. How does a Porsche wind up in a place like this? Sally: Well, it's really pretty simple. I was...an attorney in LA livin' life in the fast lane, and. McQueen: Oh, you were, were you? Were you rich? Sally: What? McQueen: Just...clues to the puzzle. Sally: Yeah, OK. Well, that was my life. And you know what? It never felt...happy. McQueen: Yeah. I mean...really? Sally: Yeah. So I left California. Just drove and drove and finally broke down right here. Doc fixed me up, Flo took me in. Well, they all did. And I never left. McQueen: Yeah. You know, I understand. You need a little R & R. Recharge and old batteries. But you know, after a while, why didn't you go back? Sally: I fell in love. McQueen: Ohh. Sally: Yep. McQueen: Corvette? Sally: No. Sally: I fell in love with this. McQueen: Whoa. Look at that. Look, they're drivin' right by. They don't even know what they're missing! Sally: Well, it didn't used to be that way. McQueen: Oh, yeah? Sally: Yeah. Forty years ago, that Interstate down there didn't exist. McQueen: Really? sally: Yeah. Back then, cars came across the country a whole different way. McQueen: How do you mean? Sally: Well, the road didn't cut through land like that Interstate. It moved with the land, you know? It rose, it fell, it curved. Folk: Mornin'! Folk: Nice day, huh? Sally: Cars didn't drive on it to make a great time. They drove on it to have a great time. Song McQueen: Well, what happened? Sally: The town got bypassed just to save ten minutes of driving. Song McQueen: How great would it have been to see this place in its heyday! Sally: Ohh...I can't tell you how many times I've dreamed of that. But one of these days, we'll find a way to get it back on the map. McQueen: Yeah. Hey, listen, thanks for the drive. I had a great time. It's kinda nice to slow down every once in a while. Sally: You're welcome. Mater: Hey, listen, listen! If anybody asks you, we was out smashin' mailboxes, OK? McQueen: Wha... What? Ramone: Oh, man, the paint's still wet! Luigi: No,no,no,no! Get out of the store! Hey! Don't eat the radial! Here, take-a the snow tires. Sheriff: Mater! Mater: I wasn't tractor-tippin'! Sheriff: Then where did all these gol-durn tractors come from? Mater: Whoa, boy! Whoa! McQueen: Hahaha. Hey! Hey guys. There's one goin' this way. I got it. McQueen: Come here, little tractor, come here. Yeah, that's a good tractor. No,no,no,no, come here. What are you doing? You're not supposed to go wandering off all...alone. McQueen: What are you doin' with those old racin' tires? Doc: Huuhhh. McQueen: Come on, Doc, drive. Doc: Ahhhh. Yeah. McQueen: Wow! You're amazing! What are you doin'? Doc, wait! Mater: Giddup right in there! Come on, Rusty. Weee...heyy! McQueen: Doc, hold it! Seriously, your driving's incredible! Doc: Wonderful. Now, go away. McQueen: Hey, I mean it. You've still got it! Doc: I'm askin' you to leave. McQueen: Come on. I'm a racecar, you're... a much older racecar, but under the hood you and I are the same. Doc: We are not the same! Understand? Now, get out. McQueen: How could a car like you quit at the top of your game? Doc: You think I quit? McQueen: Right. Your big wreck in '54. Doc: They quit on me. When I finally got put together, I went back expecting a big welcome. You know what they said? "You're history". Moved right on to the next rookie standing in line. There was a lot left in me. I never got chance to show 'em. I keep that, to remind me never to go back. I just never expected that that world would...would find me here. McQueen: Hey, look, Doc, I'm not them. Doc: Oh, yeah? McQueen: No, I'm not. Doc: When is the last time you cared about something except yourself, hot rod? You name me one time. And I will take it all back. Ahhuh? I didn't think so. These are good folk around here, who care about one another. I don't want 'em depending on someone they can't count on. McQueen: Oh, like you? You've been here how long and your friends don't even know who you are? Who's caring about only himself? Doc: Just finish that road and get outta here! sarge: Will you turn that disrespectful junk off? Filmore: Respect the classics, man. Mater: He's done. He must've finished it while we was all sleepin'. Doc: Good riddance. Flo: He's gone? Sarge: Well, we wouldn't want him to miss that race of his. Sheriff: Hisk...hisk. Ramone: Oh, dude, are you crying? Sheriff: No! I'm happy! I don't have to watch him every second of the day anymore! I'm glad he's gone! Red: Hahaha. McQueen: What's wrong with Red? Mater: Oh, he's just sad 'cause you left town, and went to your big race to win the Piston Cup that you've always dreamed about your whole life and get that big ol' sponsor and that fancy helicopter you was talkin' about. Mater: Huuhh! Wait a minute! Folks: Hahaha. Mater: I knowed you wouldn't leave without saying goodbye. McQueen: Hahaha. Sheriff: What are you doin' here, son? You're gonna miss your race. Don't worry. I'll give you a police escort, and we'll make up the time. McQueen: Thank you, Sheriff. But you know I can't go just yet. Sheriff: Well, why not? McQueen: I'm not sure these tires...can get me all the way to California. Yeah, does anybody know what time Luigi's opens? Luigi: Ah..haha! I can't-a believe it! Luigi: Four new tires! Grazien, Mr. Lightning. Grazien! Flo: Would you look at that! Luigi: Our first real customers in years! I am filled with tears of ecstacy, for this is the most glorious day of my life! McQueen: All right, Luigi, give me the best set of blackwalls you've got. Luigi: No,no,no,no! You don't-a know what you want. Luigi know what you want. Blackwall tires. They blend into the pavement. But-a this...white-wall tires! They say, "Look at me! Here I am! Love me." McQueen: All right, you're the expert. Luigi: Eh, hehehee! McQueen: Oh, and don't forget the spare. Luigi: Perfetto. Guido! Guido: Peet stop! Song Luigi: Hahaha! What did Luigi tell you, aey? McQueen: Wow, you were right. Better than a Ferrari, huh? Luigi: Aaa, No. McQueen: Wow! This organic fuel is great! Why haven't I heard about it before? Filmore: It's a conspiracy, man! The oil companies got a grip on the government! They're feedin' us a bunch of lies, man. McQueen: OK, I'll take a case. Ramone: Ahh.. Yeah. Ka-chow. Mater: Here she comes! McQueen: Places, everybody. Hurry! Act natural. Folks: Hi, Sally. Sally: All right, what's goin' on? Mater: Ladies and gentlecars, please welcome the neeewww Lightning McQueen! McQueen: What do you think? Radiator Springs looks pretty good on me. Sally: I'll say. Rrr. Ka-chow. You're gonna fit right in in California. Oh my goodness. It looks like you've helped everybody in town. McQueen: Yeah, everybody except one. Hey, is it getting dark out? Lizzie: What? What'd he say? McQueen: Let me say that again. Is it getting dark out? Lizzie: Now, what was I supposed to do after that? Song Sally: They fixed their neon. Flo: Low and slow? Ramone: Oh, yeah, baby! McQueen: Just like in its heyday, right? Sally: It's even better than I pictured it. Thank you. McQueen: Shall we cruise? Lizzie: Oh, thank you, dear. I'd love to! McQueen: No,no,no. Sally: Lizzie! Lizzie: I remember when Stanley first asked me to take a drive with him. Mater: Hey, Miss sally. May I have this cruise? Sally: Of course, Mater. Sheriff: A,a,ah! Lizzie: ...and again and I said, "No," and he asked me again, and I said, "No." But, oh, he was a persistent little burger for a two-cylinder. Finally I said, "All right, one little drive." Mater: Hahaha. McQueen: Hey! Sally: Thanks, Mater. Mater: Good evenin', you two. Lizzie: Oh, Stanley, I wish you could see this. Flo: Is that what I think it is? Sally: Oh, I don't know, Flo. I haven't had a chance to find out. But I am going to find out. Hello. Flo: Not that. That. Sally: Huh. Customers? Flo: Customers, everybody! And a lot of 'em! You know what to do. Just like we rehearsed. Mater: It's the ghostlight! Helicopter: We have found McQueen. We have found McQueen! Cameramen: McQueen, over here! McQueen: Aaa, wait, excuse me. Cameramen: Is it true you've been in rehab? Cameramen: Did you have a nervous breakdown, McQueen. McQueen: I'm sorry, what? Cameramen: McQueen's wearing whitewalls! Cameramen: Are the tires you wearing are turning balding? Sally: Stickers, McQueen! Cameramen: Was Lightning McQueen your prisoner? Mater: Shoot, no! We're best buds! I ain't braggin' or nothin', but I was in charge of huntin' him down if he tried to escape. McQueen: Sally, Sally! Kori: McQueen! Will you still race for the Piston Cup? Sally: Stickers? McQueen: Sally! Cameramen: Come on, give us some bolt! Mack: You're here! Thank the manufacturer! You're alive! McQueen: Mack? Mack: You're here! I can't belive it! Oh, hoho. You are a sight for some headlights! I'm so sorry I lost you, boss. I'll make it up to you! McQueen: Mack, I, I can't belive you're here. Harv: Is that the world's fastest racing machine? McQueen: Is that Harv? Mack: Yeah. He's in the back. Cameramen: Show us the bolt, McQueen! Mack: Get back, you oil-thirsty parasites! Cameramen: Hey, where's the old McQueen? Mack: Actually, this is my good side here. Cameramen: Show us the bolt! McQueen: Harv! Harv! Cameramen: Give us the bolt! McQueen: Harv? Cameramen: Come on! Harv: Kid, I'm over here! McQueen: How you doin', buddy? Harv: My star client disappears off the face of the earth! How do you think I'm doing? McQueen: Harv, I can explain. Harv: I'm doing great! You're everywhere, baby! Radio, TV, the papers! You can't buy this kind of publicity! What do you need me for? That's just a figure of speech, by the way. You signed a contract. Where are you? I can't even find you on my GPS. McQueen: I'm in this little town called Radiator Springs. You know Route 66? It's still here! Harv: Yeah, that's great, kid. Playtime is over, pal. While the world's been trying to find you, Dinoco has had no one to woo. Who are they gonna woo? McQueen: Chick! Harv: Bingo. In fact, check out what's on the plasma right now. Cameramen: Show us the thunder! Chick: You want thunder? You want thunder? Ka-chicka, ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! McQueen: Hey, that's my bit! Harv: You've gotta get to Cali, pronto! Just get out of Radiation Stinks now, or Dinoco is history, you hear me? McQueen: Just give me a second here, Harv. Harv: No,no,no, wait. Where are goin'. Get in the trailer, baby. Kid! You want, you want a bigger trailer? McQueen: Sally, I...I want you to... Look, I wish...Ahhhh. Sally: Thank you. Thanks for everything. McQueen: Ah. Haha. It just a road. Sally: No. It was much more than that. Mack: Hey, kid! We gotta go. Harv's goin' crazy! He's gonna have me fired if I don't get you in the truck right now! McQueen: Mack, just... hold it for... Sally: You should go. McQueen: I know, but... Sally: Good luck in California. I hope you find what you're looking for. Cameramen: McQueen, come on! McQueen: Sally! Cameramen: Show us the bolt, McQueen! The bolt! Hey, Lightning, show us the bolt! Cameramen: Where's the old McQueen? Harv: Come on, get in the trailer. That's it. That's right kid, let's go! You're a big shining star. You're a superstar. You don't belong there, anyway. McQueen: Whoa... Wait...Whoa,whoa,wait,wait! Cameramen: Hey, guys! McQueen's leavin' in the truck! Kori: Hey, are you Doc Hudson? Doc: Yeah. Kori: Thanks for the call. Sally: You called them? Doc: It's best for everyone, Sally. Sally: Best for everyone, or best for you? Mater: I didn't get to say goodbye to him. Bob: Hello, race fans, and welcome to what has become, quite simply, the biggest event in the history of racing. A three way battle for the Piston Cup! Darrell: There's a crowd of nearly 200,000 cars here at the Los Angeles International Speedway. Tickets to this race are hotter than a black leather seat on a hot summer day! Bob: The King, Chick Hicks and Lightning McQueen in a 200 laps, winner-takes-all, tiebreaker race. Darrell: You know I got a lotta miles on me, but let me tell you somethin' buddy. I never thought I'd see anything like this. Wow! Man. This is exciting! Bob: In fact, the country has almost shut down, to watch what many experts are calling "the race of the century." Junior: Hey, King! Good luck in your last race. You've sure been an inspiration to me. The King: Thanks, Junior. Appreciate it. Dear: Hey, be careful out there, OK? The King: Yeah, mam. Mia: He's hot. Chick: Wanna know the forecast? I'll give you the forecast. A 100 percent chance of thunder! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Say it with me! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Security: Hey, you! No admittance without a garage pass. Fred: Oh, it's OK. Lightning McQueen knows me! Andretti: Hey, Marco, it's a beautiful day for a race, isn't it? Security: Absolutely, Mr. Andretti. Andretti: And good morning to you, Fred. Fred: Mario Andretti he knows my name! You gotta let me in now! Security: Sorry, pal. McQueen: OK, here we go. Focus. Speed. I am speed. Victory, one winner, two losers. Speed. Speed. Speed. Speed... Mack: Hey, Lightnin'! You ready? McQueen: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I'm...I'm ready. McQueen: Mack, thanks for being my pit crew today. Mack: Nahh. Don't worry about it, kid. It's the least I could do. After all, "Gas Can" is my middle name. McQueen: It is? Mack: Nahh, not really. Small aeroplane: A. O. TV Crew: Nelson! Zoom in. Ready, 16? Take 16. Bob: And there he is, Lightning McQueen! Missing all week, and then he turns up in the middle of nowhere! In a little town called Radiator Springs. Darrell: Wearin' whitewall tires, of all things. Chick: Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Hahaha. Hey, where you been? I've been kinda lonely. Nobody to hang out with. I mean, except the Dinoco folks. Ohhh and the twins. Of course. You know the twins the one that used to be your fans, but now they're my fans. Anyway, listen to what the twins think... McQueen: Ahh. Shoot! Fans: Boogity, boogity, boogity, boys! Let's go racin'! Dear: Come on, you can do it! Tex: Come on kid, make us proud, boy! Bob: Fifty laps down, and The King is still holding a slim lead. Darrell: Hey, McQueen's got a run on him! He's lookin' to the inside! Ohh! Chick slammed the door on him! Bob: Chick's not making it easy on him today. Darrell: Oh, man, he lost so much momentum, and now he's gonna have to chase him back down! Bob: Ohhh, McQueen spins out in the infield! Chick: Hahaha! Just me and the old man, fellas. McQueen just doesn't have it today. Mack: Hey, kid, are you all right? McQueen: I don't know, Mack. I..I... I don't think I... Doc: I didn't come all this way to see you quit. McQueen: Doc? Guys: Yey.. Hahaha. McQueen: Guys, you're here! I can't believe this! Doc: I knew you needed a crew chief, but I didn't know it was this bad. McQueen: I thought you said you'd never come back. Doc: Well, I really didn't have a choice. Mater didn't get to say goodbye. Mater: Goodbye!! Okay, I'm good. McQueen: Hahaha! Doc: All right, if you can drive as good as you fix a road, then you can win this race with you eyes shut. Now, get back out there! Hot snot, we are back in business! Guido! Luigi! You're goin' up against professional pit crews boys, you're gonna have to be fast. Luigi: They will not know what bit them! Doc: Kid, you can beat these guys. Find a groove that works for you and get that lap back. Chick's Crew: Is that? Chick's Crew: Oh, wow. That's him! TV Crew: Is that...? That's the Hudson Hornet! Bob, Darrell! The Hudson Hornet's back! Bob: Darrell, it appears McQueen has got himself a pit crew. And look who he has for a crew chief! Fans: Wow... Look, man. It's the Hudson Hornet! Biggest fan: Whoa!! Fans: Well, dip me in axle grease and call me Slick! It surely is. Biggest fan: Hahahahaha! Bob: Wow, this is history in the making. Nobody has seen the racing legend in over 50 years! Lizzie: Hey, Doc! Come look at the fellow on the radio. He looks just like you. Bob: McQueen passes them on the inside! Darrell: But he's still nearly a lap fail. Bob: Can he catch up to them with only 60 laps to go? Doc: You're goin' great, kid. Just keep your head on. Guido: Vai! Vai! Vai,vai! Chick's crew: Hey, shrimpie, where did McQueen find you, huh? Those round things are called tires, and they go under the car! All Chick's Crew: Hahahahaha!!! Guido: Con chi credi di parlare? Ma, con chi stai parlando? Luigi: No! No, no! You'll have your chance. You will have your chance. Chick: Oh, kid's just tryin' to be a hero, huh? Well, what do you think of this? Yeah, that's it kid. Whats?? Mater: Whoa! Git-R-done! Hahaha! I taught him that. Ka-chow! Chick Crew: Auuww! Bob: What a move by McQueen! He's caught up to the leaders. Darrell: Oh, yeah. This is what it's all about. A three-way battle for the lead, with ten to go. Tex: Hahaha! Look at that boy go out there! Chick: No, you don't. McQueen: Doc, I'm flat! I'm flat! Doc: Can you get back to the pits? McQueen: Yeah, yeah. I think so. Doc: Hey, got a yellow. Bring it in. Don't tear yourself up, kid. Mack: We gotta get him back out there fast or we're gonna be a lap down, and we'll never win this race! Doc: Guido! It's time. Chick Crew: Hey, tiny, you gonna clean his windshield? Hahaha! Darrell: I don't believe it! Bob: That was the fastest pit stop I've ever seen! Darrell: It was a great stop, but he's still gotta beat that pace car out! Bob: It's gonna be close. Mater: Yeah!! Biggest Fan: Yeah, baby!! Fans: Yeah... Hahaha! Darrell: Yeah!! He's back in the race! Guido: Peet stop. Luigi: Guido, you did it! Mater: Way to go, Guido! Ramone: Yeah!! Bob: This is it. We're heading into the final lap and McQueen is right behind the leaders. What a comeback! Darrell: A hundred and ninety-nine laps, and, baby, it all comes down to this! Doc: This is it, kiddo. You've got four turns left. One at a time. Drive it in deep and hope it sticks. Go! Chick: We'll see about that! Bob: McQueen's going inside! Bob: Chick and The King are loose! Darrell: I think McQueen is out of the race! Darrell: McQueen saved it! Bob: He's back on the track! Doc: Float like a Cadillac... McQueen: Sting like a Beemer! Biggest Fan: Ka-chow, ka-chow, ka-chow! Fans: Wooowww! Folks: Yeeehaaaa! Hahaha. Darrell: Lightning McQueen is gonna win the Piston Cup! Sally: Come on! You got it! You got it, Stickers! Chick: I am not comin' in behind you again, old man. Dear: Oh, no! Chick: Yeah... Woooww! I won, baby! Yeah! Oh, yeah! Flo: What's he up to, Doc? The King: What are you doin', kid? McQueen: I think The King should finish his last race. The King: You just gave up the Piston Cup, you know that? McQueen: Ahhh. This grumpy old racecar I know once told me somethin'. It's just an empty cup. Bob: Darrell, is pushing on the last lap legal? Darrell: Hey, man. He's not really pushin' him. He's just givin' him a little bump draft. Chick: Whoaa.. Hohooo!! Hey. What? What's goin' on? Fan: That's what I call racin' right there. Tex: Hahaha! Luigi: Bravo il mio amico! Mater: Way to go, buddy! Filmore: There's a lotta love out there, you know, man? Sarge: Don't embarrass me, Filmore. Lizzie: That's my hot rod. Chick: Come on, baby, bring it out! Bring out the Piston Cup! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Yeah! Now, that's what I'm talkin' about! Hey, how come I'm the only one celebrating is me, huh? Where are the girls? Bring on the confetti! Auuww! Auuww! Easy with the confetti. What's goin' on? Come on, snap some pictures. I gotta go sign my deal with Dinoco! Ka-chicka! Say it with me. Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Cameramen: Booo! Mia & Tia: Booo! Chick: What's wrong with everybody? Where's the happiness? Hey! This is the start of the Chick era! Dear: Thanks, Lightnin'. McQueen: You're welcome. Fan: Way to go, King! Fan: You're still the car! Biggest Fan: You're The King! Yeah! Rust-eze Folks: Yeah! Hahahaha! Mack: Wahh! Hoo! Rust-eze Car: You make us proud, kid! Mack: Congrats on the loss, me bucko! Doc: You got a lotta of stuff, kid. McQueen: Thanks, Doc. Tex: Hey, Lightnin'. How 'bout comin' over here and talk to me a minute? Son, that was some real racin' out there. How'd you like to become the new face of Dinoco? McQueen: But I didn't win. Tex: Lightnin', there's a whole lot more to racin' than just winnin'. Rust-eze Van: He was so rusty, when he drove down the street. Hahaha. Buzzards used to circle the car! Folks: Hahahaha. McQueen: Thank, you, Mr. Tex, but...but these Rust-eze guys over there gave me my big break. I'm gonna stick with them. Tex: Well, I sure can respect that. Still, you know, if there's ever anything I can do for you, just let me know. McQueen: I sure appreciate that. Thank you. Actually, there is one thing. Mater: Whoah! Hoo! Aaaa! Hey look at me! I'm flyin', by golly! Whoahh! Hoo! I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park! Luigi: I think it's about-a time we redecorate. Michael Schumacker: Chow! Hi, Lightning McQueen told me this was the best place in the world to get tires. How 'bout setting me and my friends up with three or four sets each? Luigi: Huh. Guido! There is a real Michael Schumacker Ferrari in my store. A real Ferrari! Punch me, Guido. Punch me in the face. This is the most glorious day of my life. Michael Schumacker: Wow. Spero che il tuo amico si riprenda. Mi dicono che siete fantastici. Sally: Uh..huh!. Hahaha. Just passin' through? McQueen: Actually, I thought I'd stop and stay awhile. I hear this place is back on the map. Sally: It is? McQueen: Yeah, there's some rumor floating around that some hotshot Piston Cup racecar is setting up his big racing headquarters here. Sally: Really? Well, there goes the town. McQueen: You know, I really missed you, Sally. Sally: Well, I create feelings in others they themselves don't understand and, blah, blah, blah,  blah. McQueen: Hahaha. Mater: McQueen and Sally parked beneath the tree, K-i-s-s...i-n-t! McQueen: Great timing, Mater! Mater: Hep-non, hip-hep, hi-li-lilly! Weeeee!! McQueen: He's my best friend. What're you gonna do? Sally: So, Stickers, last one to Flo's buys? McQueen: I don't know. Why don't we just take a drive? Sally: Mmm. Nahh. McQueen: Yeah! Ka-chow! Mater: Yeeeehoooo!!!!! Song

the entire script of cars (2006)

#you're welcome #cars #mine

[omglr]

patiently momming the shit out this fuckin' potential serial killer...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like feminism.

You: hi

Stranger: hi

Stranger: asl

You: 33 f

You: canada

You: you?

Stranger: m22 canada

Stranger: feminist?

You: yes

You: you?

Stranger: fuck no

Stranger: feminism is sexism and hatred of men, why would I support it?

You: meninist?

Stranger: not really

Stranger: just knowing the truth

You: where do you get this information from?

Stranger: online

You: ok

You: have you considered.... reading a book?

Stranger: no

Stranger: because with the ability to be anonymous online people will say the truth without fear of being outed for it.

You: interesting

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: Feminism isnt about equality, its about hatred of men and female superiority

You: ok, if you say so

Stranger: how is it now?

Stranger: not*

Stranger: women demanding a safe space free of men is seen as just fine

Stranger: a male only space is seen as "sexist"

You: uh, do you think their aren't men only space though?

Stranger: feminism cries about male dominance in politics and management positions , but when it comes to male dominance in jobs like trucking, mining, construction etc, feminists dont say a word

Stranger: there is men only, and to feminists thats seen as sexism

You: you seem a little worked up

Stranger: I mean, Boy scouts of America now allows girls in... wtf its the BOY scouts, girls want to be a scout? there is a thing called girl scouts of America too

You: yeah girl guides is a much better organization anyway

You: they also accept boys

Stranger: LMAO wow what guy would joint girl guides.

You: idk, a kid who likes camping and cookies

Stranger: I do like cookies

You: yeah, cookies are great

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: women are also entitled and selfish and think they should get stuff just because they are a woman

You: i think the word entitled gets thrown around a lot to describe people

Stranger: women expect a man to pay for the date.

You: but its mostly about folks asking for respect

Stranger: but I thought you bitches wanted "equality" oh wait...

You: like millenials are real entitled

You: for wanting jobs that pay a living wage

You: says boomers

You: who dont want to pay a living wage

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: but you NEED a living wage

You: yeah, we all need a living wage

Stranger: but women are entitled and think they deserve only the best of the best of the very best men who will do whatever she says and wants and no matter what shes always right

You: this seems like a narrow focus on what women are like

Stranger: its the truth

You: like, this is a pretty shallow stereotype that might be true for like 10% of college girls

Stranger: lol its true for all girls

Stranger: girls are shallow

You: but i guess if thats who you put on a pedestal, shallow girls

Stranger: all girls are shallow

You: mmmm, i mean, you might be misinterpreting women's intentions

Stranger: how so?

You: like if i saw you at a coffee shop and over heard you talking this conspiratorial feminist is evil game, i wouldn't be interested in you

Stranger: Im not 6'0 or taller, im not ripped af and I dont drive a BMW, your not interested in me

You: eh, again, i didn't say that

You: i'm not interested in cars or money or height

Stranger: sure

You: or muscles

Stranger: sure

Stranger: so your a lesbian?

You: but i can tell a dude is a self loathing weirdo pretty quick

You: i'm bi

Stranger: ok

You: women are easier to date

Stranger: sure

Stranger: im 22 and still a fucking virgin

You: for me anyway

You: yeah, that happens

You: some folks are late bloomers

Stranger: LMAO no, women are shallow

You: alright, well if you want to believe that that's up to you, but your world view determines your world

You: so if you can't open your heart and learn to trust women, you'll probably keep thinking worse and worse thoughts about them

Stranger: well im not good looking so...

Stranger: LMAO trust women... that is horseshit.

You: and find yourself in more situations where you can prove yourself right

Stranger: women are nothing but cheaters and liars

Stranger: let me tell you something?

You: ok

Stranger: I met a girl on here 2 yrs ago, shes down in Tennessee, we kept in contact on skype, became friends, fell for each other, admitted our feelings, fell even more for each other, hoped to meet one day, have our first times, maybe end up married and be forever. She met another guy and threw me away.

You: so, you were 20 years old and an internet girlfriend ruined your life forever?

Stranger: nope

Stranger: it just proves how unloyal and unloving women are

You: idk, that sounds kinda stupid

Stranger: plus my 3rd ex cheated after a month, not to mention other BS she did, I'll share if you wanna know,

1st and 2nd ex never even liked me

You: like, i'm being pretty patient with you here

You: this self loathing rap is pretty pathetic

Stranger: lol its hatred of women

You: yeah, its called misogyny

Stranger: and feminism is misandry

You: eh, not really

Stranger: sure

Stranger: women are hypergamous whores

You: eh, i mean, if you and i were the only people on the planet, i would say men are toxic dudes who have little self awareness and say abusive bullshit with so little life experience its kinda tragic if not a little dangerous, and that women are extremely patient and nurturing even to weirdos who don't deserve it

Stranger: sure.

Stranger: if you think im ever going to trust a woman again your insane

You: i guess it was more advice for your sadness but its up to you

Stranger: im not sad

You: eh

Stranger: I just know the bitter truth of life

You: i mean you sound angry, but its obvious where its coming from

Stranger: yeah

You: lol, what is the bitter truth of life?

Stranger: that women are nothing more than shallow unloyal unloving whores who only care about themself, love isnt real. together forever doesnt exist

You: are your parents divorced?

Stranger: never married, dont know my father

You: what's your relationship with your mom like?

Stranger: its fine

You: does she love you?

Stranger: yeah

You: is she loyal to you?

Stranger: i guess. im her only child

You: would she give you her kidney if you needed it?

Stranger: idk, shes not in great health herself tbh

You: would you give her your kidney if she needed it?

Stranger: yeah

You: well that's good

You: have you heard much about internet feedback loops and how it can hurt your self-esteem?

Stranger: yeah

You: i kinda think you should look into your online peer group and figure out if thats who you want to be?

Stranger: Im not on any forums or anything like that

You: like... behind the "women are all cheating selfish shallow whores" is like "a woman would never be loyal to or love me or find me attractive"

Stranger: that is true

You: and that says something about you that isn't true

You: that you aren't unlovable

Stranger: Im not

You: eh, you probably are, or could be

You: just maybe chill with the incel stuff

Stranger: im not. for one im not anywhere near cute. That alone keeps love away.

I have huge trust issues. A short temper,

You: have you considered seeing a therapist?

Stranger: no

You: i've been seeing therapist for like 6 years, they are pretty great

Stranger: well I dont need one

You: what about the trust issues and the short temper?

Stranger: you cant fix those.

You: yeah, that's what therapists do

Stranger: and all it takes is one asshole to come along and destroy it

You: they help you work through those things

Stranger: honestly, I rather just blow up when im man

Stranger: mad*

You: eh, again, you do you, but this is real good advice honestly

Stranger: im fine

Stranger: as for trust issues, I tried to get over it, just to be fucked over again

You: eh, yeah,

Stranger: so I will stay single

You: i have had shit come up in cycles through my life too

You: its hard

Stranger: yeah

You: anyway bud, i should go, but take care of yourself, enjoy this summer :)

Stranger: yeah, but you know whats painful

Stranger: ?

You: what?

Stranger: seeing a hot af girl at the beach in a bikini and knowing I'll never get to smash that

You: dude, just see a sex worker

Stranger: I dont wanna pay for it

Stranger: or get aids

You: eh, don't be cheap and use a condom

Stranger: I am very cheap

You: ok, well, put a fuckin tin can in your room, and everytime you think to yourself "I'm unlovable" but a dollar in it

You: or what ever mean things your brains says to you

Stranger: I've got a peanut butter jar of like $400 change in my room. just because why not

You: yeah, well $400 will get you a good looking woman

Stranger: yeah.. or it can sit here and be mine.

You: or like half an xbox

Stranger: ok

You: ok, good luck

You have disconnected.