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eats-the-stars · 1 year

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Consider Machines Over Customers

don’t know how useful this is, but for people who hate the customer interaction part of their jobs, like, if you think that is the worst part of your job, consider looking for a job that does not involve you interacting with customers. the hard part is that all the “basic job that you don’t need a college education to get” kind of jobs that I could think of to look for on job sites were like call center work and waitress and hotel staff and front desk work and retail and, you know, customer service positions. so I was searching job sites with those key words and did not know about a lot of other options. namely...machines. yes, that’s right. turns out there are so many machines out there and they all need people to operate them. there’s also warehouse stocking jobs but i haven’t tried one of those so I can’t endorse or diss them. BUT...I am working a machine operating job right now and I actually love machines. they are great. they also have yet to yell at me about an expired coupon. i mean, sometimes they do complain about thread breakage or refuse to read a positioning mark that is RIGHT THERE, but still...I love machines. I also do not have to see customers at all. like, I know the orders go to customers eventually, but I do not need to help them place the orders or receive the calls when their package does not arrive on time. I just need to fill the order and I’m done. whatever happens next is out of my hands. actually...the delivery workers might be another “customers are not my problem” option. they pick up orders from us and I think they just need to whip those at the front doors of customers, but they don’t actually need to talk to them.

just...the main point is that I spent a long time stuck thinking that all the “non-career” jobs I could get required customer interaction. unless you were, like, a cook in the back or stocking jobs, and i can’t cook or lift that much. so my advice is...just try getting creative with the keywords you plug into job sites. I hit on my current job by pure chance, no idea why it showed up when I was typing in stuff like “front desk” and “call center representative.” If you want machine stuff, try typing in “manufacturing” or “assembly” or “operator” or “production.” I am mostly just throwing this out there into the void in case it helps anyone. I spent way too long doing customer service and hating how draining it was and how much I would dread going to work. but now I am shocked that I actually do not mind going to work. it is tiring, but only physically, and otherwise actually enjoyable. so...consider machines over customers.

#job stuff #i don't think most ppl are generally aware of these kinds of jobs #especially since whenever i mention that i'm an industrial embroidery machine operator #people tend to have no idea what that means or what i do #i literally needed no experience or education either. i think these type of jobs have a lot of entry level positions #and they did train me to do it and there's nothing that would require college education #i am not saying this is true for all jobs like this but i did spot some similar jobs on Indeed #usually it looks like they just require high school education #some look like they're more high end than others and give benefits but might require prior experience #if you wanted one of the nicer higher paying jobs that say 'prefer 3 years of manufacturing experience'#i feel like you could easily do a few years of a lower-paying 'no prior experience necessary' jobs like the one i have #and then upgrade once you've got the experience #also this may or may not be a factor in how much i am enjoying my new job but i am very autistic #so a job that focuses on attention to detail and sorting and matching and also colors and lots of repetition...#yeah it's like they made this job just for me as a treat #and i'm not saying your jam is definitely machines. just that i really love them but i never thought they were an option #for like your average person who did not get some kind of welding certification or engineering degree or something #because i did not do any of that. they just let me touch the machines right away #i'm not even good at math this feels like a sin #but i love these machines way more than i've ever enjoyed a customer interaction #so i highly recommend trying to look for more 'obscure' jobs that you didn't hear about during school job fairs #also some other jobs i did know about w/no customer interaction but have not personally tried #are data entry clerk and transcriptionist #also i love animals so i looked for jobs where i work with animals but no dice for me #i don't really want to work at a doggy daycare that's too high energy and lots of cleaning but i did consider it #my friend was a dog groomer for a while but that is also not my jam #oh and a lot of teaching assistant/teaching positions don't actually require an education #they seem to be always hurting for staff #my sister is an aide at an elementary school and she didn't go to school for that #hmm...janitorial jobs. landscaping. delivery

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eldragon-x · 1 year

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well anyway

#I'm just gonna ramble in the tags a bit #I put Pacifica lower in the og list because her development was just. gone in weirdmageddon but man. I do like her and wish the writers-#-didnt bungle it 😔 SAD! well theres other sad rich girl characters #wendy has being the character who I wanted to be like as a child privileges and also she literally deserved an episode #I dont Dislike gideon but man he was done dirty after being the s1 main antagonist #like the ep before the s1 finale builds up to gideons peak in the season finale but it mostly consists of introducing bill who was-#-summoned by gideon and immediately steals the show. especially once gideon gets shelved for most of s2. and only really becomes relevant-#-again to help bill with weirdmageddon for a little bit. do you get what I mean with gideon ended up so far in bills shadow in terms of-#-major antagonists #its fine tho. gid's just an over the top comedic child villain anyway. cozy glow type beat except he got redeemed.#I talked so much about gideon despite caring so little for him lmao #anyway I dont care for robbie. they couldve been onto something with him in love god but No.#Like The Concept of mabel seeing that hes miserable and trying to help was nice but the episode sucks #and outside of it he's basically just dippers rival mostly with the whole wendy crush storyline so. yeah.#normal about this show btw #gf

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anti-transphobia · 2 years

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Loving yourself and loving your body is such a blessing and there's nothing I recommend more than leaving self depreciating jokes behind and starting to casually compliment yourself instead

#so it's funny. i have a very violent trigger surrounding hair #ESPECIALLY facial hair #but hair on various parts of the body #it makes me downright violent and a danger to myself #i end up bloody with gashes all over my body #open infected wounds #and yet there's hair that doesn't bother me at all #hair i find attractive‚ even #and i look down at myself and i see that hair #the hair covering my stomach #the little bit of hair on my chest #the hair on my arms #the hair on my upper legs (i actually recently epilated the hair on my lower legs for the hell of it. LOVED it)#all this hair i find attractive on other people #and i go. yeah. it's attractive on me too #i don't have a lot of self confidence issues with my body and when i do it's y'know not forever and I'm just feeling awful #but like it's still nice #to recognize that yes. these features you're attracted to are attractive on you too #and obviously body positivity isn't about whether or not someone is attractive #but holy shit #it truly does wonders #i do think I'm very attractive tho. like I'm only attracted to men‚ which i am not‚ and i catch myself checking myself out in the mirror #and for that I'm braver and stronger than every person who constantly puts themselves down and refuses to get better and gets offended by #the idea that doing that isn't okay and just makes things worse for yourself #looking at you moon snail

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noxtivagus · 2 years

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SHADOWBRINGERS.... listening to the song again n oh god i love the lyrics so so much we r ignoring the fact that i have to wake up in like less than 4 hours

#🌙.vent #i just have 1 assignment due tmrrw n i don't want to do it :') like yeah i'm definitely still going to but. it's a letter to ourselves....#i write a lot to myself that is very much evident but it's so hard to actually organize it. & fuck too bcs it's due 10 pm later today #i hate doing things for the sake of academics. says me w my grades lmfao but despite how well i manage i really do hate the school system #i wanted to ramble abt ffxiv oh no i get so distracted when i start writing. but. god my mind rn i don't understand #🥹 this stupid mental block ???? w the break nearly ending there's sm more i have to do but i need to sleep . but not having this started is #messing me up sm rn. i want to put a lot of effort into it but i'm at a loss for words. i wrote some ideas days back but i've changed a bit #this moment ideally right now where i'm in a better mood than i have been for the past few days but not as brain empty #a balance of fiction and reality. enough to keep me not sad but enough to keep me stressed?#i would like to get it started now. i know i want to. but i can't. i just can't seem to. it's not lack of motivation right now. it's.#....maybe a fear? a fear that gives me some sort of mental block. because i really really want to at least start writing something but #i can't start. & goddamn this is not what i meant to write about i wanted to write of shadowbringers & maybe a little of today #but i guess this just has been. bothering me for a while. buried somewhere in my mind #i've been this age for like. more than a week now huh. it's daunting it's scary but i've always loved & sought the thrill of challenges. bu #alright i wasn't able to read anything i wanted to. nor did i watch as much as i would've liked. & i didn't really bond with my friends #save for texts here n then. talking in ffxiv w that one too. & that very one call on bday yh. & tumblr too ofc c: but i didn't do the schoo #stuff i wanted to do this break. but my rank in pjsekai's lowering. nor playing arknights/nier again yet. & fixing my sleep. but....#i didn't wake up any later than 4 pm. i went out for a walk earlier with apollo. i wrote asks to a friend here on tumblr. new books.#new game. plans to make an fc in ffxiv. i ate what i could. i got up even when it hurt. i'm playing gbf again. i'm rlly happy abt that #perhaps it's not enough for me. i can't get rid of my heavy regrets so easily. but acknowledging what i have done that was good enough #trying my best to be kind to myself in this moment even though i feel like crying. acknowledging my pain. maybe. maybe that's #i'm listening to ashes of dreams rn fuck i'm actually going to cry i think bulbel is next in my queue i #it hurts yes n i feel like crying right now but there's. this ache in my chest that replaced the cold emptiness earlier #maybe that's not a good thing uhh but the warmth. that warmth. i'm alive i'm real n there's a tomorrow n that's enough hope #it has to be. it fucking has to be. just. little steps. guide my own self slowly n softly like i do for others. i deserve that too.#i'll give it to myself. surely i must owe myself at least that much. being human comes with its many burdens but i don't need to be #so harsh to myself right? ironic saying that right now while i know there's something so dear to me i'm denying right now #it's like i'm a wilting flower fighting against time to stay alive. but the petals slowly decay n it gets colder the longer the dark night #would an outside light help the blossom find its own light? or would it make it disappear. i wonder #did the flower grow to be meant to be undeserving of such kindness? or are there thorns on its petals that serve as an unbeknownst barrier?

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kissyboystyles · 4 months

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...

#don't mind me using this old blog to just speak for a minute #personal post time!!#i've started having anxiety attacks at work #and they're kinda brutal and i can feel my threshold getting lower and lower #because i never REALLY fix the problem that is causing them #i just have enough catharsis that gets my brain back on track for a little and then it builds up again #and then i crash again and again and again for like three hours straight #i am thinking about work tomorrow and i'm just already hoping #i don't know i hope i wake up with SOMETHING worthy of calling out sick or like. being able to say uncle #every day at work is torture not because of any other reason but i CAN'T focus because i'm overwhelmed #and i'm overwhelmed bc i feel like my tasks are just NOT being done fast enough (bc i can't focus)#and to know i can't stay late because i have to get myself fed and then start on my other job so i can get in bed #and then try to have some time to myself before i have to start all over again #and even on a good day i only get 4 hours of sleep so what's the point #i don't know what to do because i'm too Beaten Down to even have the energy to think or make a decision #i feel like i don't have the Time to think #i have to be Focused On Something at all times because there's always something i could be doing #and if i spend time to do anything (me time at the end of the day) that's just wasting time i need to sleep to be alert to do more work #... so yeah i'm starting to have anxiety attacks or stress something idk but i'm not doing Great #del

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shotmrmiller · 3 months

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it turned to smut in seconds, i cannot control my own hands, ok. 18+ (implication of breeding kink or something and simon's a jealous boy)

ex-husband simon who signed the divorce papers without a fight. it'd stung, you're not gonna lie, but it needed to be done and the fact that he didn't make a big fuss about it made things easier for you physically. (emotionally you were in shambles because did he not even want to try and fight for you?)

he comes over only on the weekends when he's on leave.

he's a good father to his boys. he takes them to their softball games when he can, buys them the ice cream and takes them toy shopping.

and then there's a sharp knock at your door on a wednesday afternoon.

"simon?"

he walks in like he owns the place, which technically he does- even pays the mortgage because there's no way you would be able to afford living here with your own measly income.

"what's this the boys are tellin' me 'bout a man bein' in here?" his voice is calm, steady. but you know simon better than you know yourself, and he's furious.

"i- i'm not sure-" he swipes his hand in the air and your mouth clicks shut.

"don't lie t'me, poppet, or i'll be findin' him myself an' you really don't want tha'."

what man? there hasn't been any since the divorce! you're digging through your memories, scrambling to find what the hell he's talking about when-

"oh! it's the plumber!" you take steadying breath. "i called a plumber on sunday. i needed the kitchen sink fixed."

his dark eyes are piercing, so sharp they could cut. simon's always been a walking lie detector, and it's unnerving to be on the opposite end of that analyzing stare.

he nods imperceptibly, then flicks his gaze to behind you, over your head. "show me."

you scoff indignantly. "show you what? the bloody sink?"

simon wordlessly heads to the kitchen and his knees pop as he kneels-

he's actually checking the fucking sink.

with a grunt, he leans his head into the cabinet and twist awkwardly which is no doubt causing a familiar pain to flare up in his lower back. you can't help but wince in sympathy.

lo and behold, there's a shiny, white elbow in the middle of the rest of the dirty, scratched pipe.

he hums, and rises to his feet, closing the cabinet with his leg.

simon approaches you slowly, fingertips touching the kitchen island as he rounds it. "palms flat on the counter, sweetheart."

oh. oh you know exactly what that means, and your pussy throbs almost in reflex. months without his touch and your body still responds the same.

your protest already at the tip of your tongue, almost involuntarily because principles, but he sees right through you, as he's always done.

"jus' a reward for all o' your hard work. takin' care o' the boys is a stressful job all on its own." his worn hand cups the underside of your jaw tenderly. "aren't i always good t'ya?"

your exhales are weak, just like your resolve. "okay."

simon's eyes glint with satisfaction as he lifts his hand, index pointing upwards and twirls it in a slow, deliberate motion.

your palms are flat on the counter when he curls his fingers into the waistband of your shorts and knickers, tugging them downward.

they're flat on the counter when he lowers himself to his knees and taps the inside of your foot, indicating you to widen your stance.

they're curled into fists when his breath puffs against your slick cunt and his warm tongue slides through your folds, drawing lazy circles around your bud. a tingle of arousal shoots up your spine, his mouth sparking a fire right under your navel.

they're reaching for simon, nails sinking into the delicate skin of his wrist as your back bows when you come on his tongue, vision spotted with black, blurry dots and white hot ecstasy coursing through your veins.

your hands are now crossed at the base of your spine, your cheek pressing into the cool kitchen counter as he bends you over it.

"15 minutes before the boys are home from school. tha's plenty o'time, yeah?"

a rhetorical, if you've ever heard one.

your knuckles stain white as you clench your fists at the heavy, hot weight of his manhood stretching your walls to take him in, a sweet burn that you've always loved. he's gentle but sure, bottoming out in one smooth stroke that pushes the air out of your lungs. the sibilant hiss simon lets out is never fails to elicit a whimper out of you.

"fuck," he groans. "i could stay inside this pretty pussy forever."

and the dirty talk. how much you've missed it.

"would you like tha', pet? be inside of ya til you don't know where i end and you begin?"

a garbled mhm slips past your lips. your head already empty at just the sensation of being so unbearably full that it feels like you're tearing at the seams.

"another time, then, since the kids'll be home soon."

he begins to move, shallow but firm thrusts that drag his cock along your nerves deliciously- a sure fire way of getting you to climax around him in minutes.

your walls begin to squeeze down as the knot in your stomach tightens, and he lets go of your wrists, looping an arm around your waist and straightens you- his broad chest to your much smaller back.

his clever fingers wind downwards, and rub precise, little circles on your slippery clit, and it's all too much, you're hurtling toward the precipice at neck break speed- "god, simon, please-"

his pace never falters, not his hips nor his fingers as your moans begin to rise in pitch. "i'll get ya there, love."

he does, he gets you to your highest peak- blindingly intense- one that chokes the very breath out of you and slackens your knees. "i've got ya."

there's no strength left in you to brace for the spine-jarring thrusts he gives after, the only thing keeping you from sprawling forward is the arm that's looped around you as he pulls you to him.

"on anything?" he rumbles.

your ears ring at that because he can't possibly- your head shakes unbidden.

"good."

the last four thrusts are heavy, backed by his weight, and he smothers a loud groan into the junction of your shoulder as he finishes inside of you- thick, viscous cum filling you until it begins to drip and fall to the floor with an audible plop.

he presses tender little kisses to your sweaty shoulder and nips the side of your neck. "just in time."

the clock on the stove says 5 minutes before the bus gets there.

he helps you redress, chuckling under his breath when you won't look him in the eye. "i'll get the kids, go get cleaned up."

the knot in your chest loosens when you hear the boys' laughter at seeing their father on the driveway. it loosens when simon picks both of them up, one in each arm, and glances up at you as you look down at them from the window.

heat licks up your cheeks when he gives you a smarmy little grin.

idiot.

#call of duty #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x f reader #simon ghost riley smut #simon ghost riley x reader #cod mw2 #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley smut #cod smut #cod mwii #simon riley #ghost smut

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ashtonisvibing · 7 months

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so, guess who's ipad screen got borked

it was admittedly a hand me down from my friend, and had some minor cracking and stuff due the case warping cuz of the sun, but like-

it was so fine the day before, and even seemed fine yesterday morning. then suddenly there was a little glitching at the bottom of the screen that just got worse and worse every time i turned it on... until the screen stopped showing anything. it still turns on cuz the glitching is there, it just won't display anything now.

friend's gonna bring some photos of the damage to a repair kiosk near his dad's house to see how much it would cost to repair it, and then hopefully if it isn't too much he said he can pay for the repair as a christmas present. so fingers crossed that can happen, cuz i don't really have any way to pay for the repair (doubt my parents would have the money suddenly, and i have no job. i'd open commissions of some kind for the money but i also have no bank account, so no way to get the money)

so uh... probably not gonna be any art until it gets fixed. or, even worse since it'll take MUCH longer, i get a new one. i'll see how drawing on my chromebook is cuz it can act as a tablet as well, but i won't be able to use procreate (plus... chromebook-) so... who even knows

obviously this doesn't mean i'll stop posting stuff in general, my chromebook works totally fine. just probably won't be able to draw. which sucks cuz no more normalcy au drawings.

i'll have a virgil ref sheet to post later since i thankfully finished that before the screen died, but yeah.

#ashton is talking #man this sucks #i know it was already broken but i was so careful with it #i have no idea why the screen just started glitching out like that #and you KNOW now that i can't draw is when i'm gonna wanna do nothing BUT #hopefully the screen fixing will be on the cheaper side #apparently at the kiosk my friend'll go to they charge ~$75 - $100 for an ipad mini #which is what i have #so yeah hopefully it's on that lower end

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hxzbinwrites · 4 months

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Hi! I just saw that requests are open, yeah!! I'd like to request an Alastor x fem!Reader where Vox has a crush on her so he sends her a set of different tea flavor as a gift. The problem is that these contain a drug that inhibits the person (thanks, Valentino). Basically, his plan was to wait for her to drink the tea and then show up at the hotel and seduce her so he could have her for himself (my boy thinks she loves him, lol). The problem is that she had graciously offered the tea to Alastor, who drinks it. Vox asks her if she enjoyed the tea she lies saying it was delicious so he immediately shows up at the hotel but ends up finding Alastor who is being super affectionate with her, revealing his true feelings for her. Eventually Alastor attacks Vox as soon as he sees him forcing the other to flee. Fluff and comedy, basically. xD

Alastor x Fem! Reader x Vox | Tea Time Troubles

Warnings ⚠️: Cussing, drugs, controlling and manipulative Vox, out of character Alastor.

"I dunno 'bout this Voxxy" Valentino said, handing him a baggie of the drug, a weak aphrodisiac lining the walls of the bag.

"Don't worry about me Valentino, I'll be fine" Vox reassured him, holding the bag up to his screened face. He smirked deviously as he put his hands behind his back.

"But you tell me all the time 'bout 'public image' and all that shit." Valentino retorted, crossing his lower arms against his stomach.

"Don't you worry your pretty little face about it Honey" Vox sneered, rubbing his cheek in a falsely affectionate way. "Vox is a big boy and can handle himself. I just gotta put this into some tea bags. (Y/n) WILL be MINE."

"Ugh" The moth groaned, taking a puff of his cigar,"She's not even worth it. She hangs out with radio, fossil trash. If she was good shed know who to choose. Besides, I'm better than she is, right?"

"You're wrong." Vox said, his left eye radiating hypnotizing waves out of anger,"(Y/n) is perfect. She's everything, and she will be mine."

Vox's demonic laughter could be heard across the building, sending chills down anyone who heard it's spine.

--------

"Honey!!" (Y/n) exclaimed, holding up the box of tea that arrived at their house,"Your tea shipment came!"

Alastor, who was reading the paper at the kitchen table, looked over to see his dear (Y/n) carrying two large cardboard boxes.

He teleported over, making his shadows place them atop of the counter. His keen eyes narrowed at the second box, seemingly almost identical to the first one.

"How peculiar!" Alastor said, tapping his cane on the second box, almost poking it as if it was a foreign object.

"What's peculiar about it?" The fellow deer demon asked, peering over at the box her partner was so intrigued by.

"I did not order two shipments of tea from the catalogue this month!" He replied, his smile tightening in irritation. Could someone be trying to plant something in this hotel? Trying to hurt any of his friends, his beloved, or him?

"Maybe it's a promo box?" (Y/n) suggested,"I mean, you are a loyal customer of theirs. Maybe they want you to try a new product, I hear that's the new rage."

"Ah" Alastor replied, walking closer to the counter to rip open the second box to be met with a letter and a large box of tea.

"Thank you for your loyalty Mr. Alastor. We're reaching out to our most loyal customers to give this Promo box to! We're asking that you try our newest flavor, a (your favorite flavor) but with a twist! Despite the erratic sounds at night in Hell, this tea should help you fall right asleep! If you enjoy it, please promote so on your beloved Radio Show!"

"I was right!" The doe said, looking up at her partner,"They must've given it to you because they know you're famous and can promote their tea! Very smart people, I wanna try one tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow? Why not today my doe?" Alastor said, looking down at his partner.

"My stomach isn't feeling the best. Charlie's cake wasn't fully cooked through, but I didn't want to be rude and not eat it. Especially because no one else was!"

Alastor chuckled, petting her sensitive ears. "Now now (Y/n), you should've listened to me! I know all!"

"Al..." She said, batting her eyes up at him,"Do you mind trying it for me? I wanna know if it's good, but I don't want to throw up in my sleep!"

"Why should I?" He inquired, smirking down at (Y/n). "It seems like this predicament could've been easily avoided my little doe! Hahaha!"

"Please" She softly asked, smiling at him back.

"I suppose I can try one cup of it." He said, sitting down at the table, fully expecting (Y/n) to make him the cup as he finished reading his paper.

She giggled at him and began to start the kettle. Moments like these can't be replaced, a docile and homey moment between the two of them. (Y/n) loved seeing this side of him. The Alastor side of him, not the Radio Demon.

(Y/n) opened the smaller box that was enclosed in the large one, picking out the first tea bag. She smelled the bag, the fumes of blended herbs wafting in her nostrils. It smelled lovely, she would've to drink one alongside Alastor.

But she held back on picking up another bag, knowing its sleeping effects. (Y/n) really didn't want to throw up while in her sleep, and potentially on Alastor, who would be as knocked out as her.

Sighing, she finished preparing the tea, pouring it in Alastor's favorite teacups, the one (Y/n) gifted him on their second anniversary many years ago.

She walked back over to him, placing the teacup on his saucer, putting the sugar cube in as well.

"Thank you dearest" Alastor said, his eyes skimming over the newspaper,"I shall be in our room in a moment, why don't you go ahead and get in your nightwear?"

"Alrighty" (Y/n) replied, patting the back of Alastor's chair. That was something the two of them did, (Y/n) knew when to touch Alastor and when to not. Still wanting to show him affection, she'll pat an object close to him.

Alastor gave her a soft smile before returning his focus to the newspaper.

The doe walked up the stairs in the hotel to their shared room. She got in her fluffy pajamas, completed each and every step to her skincare routine, and crawled into bed with a book.

The silence was only broken by the occasional turn of a page, this was (Y/n)‘s daily quiet time, as Alastor liked to read the paper before turning in for the night.

This normally is for about an hour, but tonight it was a mere 30 minutes as the door busted open.

The doe yelped, her skittish nature causing her to flinch at the sudden jolt of noise. Her partner flittered into the room before crawling on top of her, his eyes droopy from the affect.

“Hi sugar” He said, burying his face in the crook of her neck. His ears were pressed against his head as he affectionately nuzzled (Y/n). Alastor grabbed her waist and flipped her on top of him, allowing him to bring her closer to his body, her chest atop of his.

“Al-Alastor?!” (Y/n) exclaimed, tensing up. What has gotten into him!? He’s not one to ever make such…bold advances.

“Oh my love” He said, a dreamy lilt in his voice,”you’re just perfection incarnate. Such a lovely little fawn you are.”

Blushing heavily, she let him rest himself on her, snuggling contently. It was rather peaceful, she did not know where this sudden chance of behavior came from, but it certainly wasn’t the worst by far.

(Y/n)’s ears perked up hearing a notification sound ding from her phone. She slowly grabbed it to check what it was.

Alastor was not very keen on allowing this sort of technology in the house, especially knowing Vox is over all of it. So they made a compromise, he’d take out the camera and microphone and she could have the phone.

Seeing it was a message from Vox, she opened it.

Vox: “Hey sweetheart, I pulled a few strings and got a shipment of some new tea of (your favorite flavor) that was being tested. How did you like it baby?”

(Y/n): Oh, it was good, thanks!

Vox: Just good? You sure sweet stuff? Wasn’t it so good you could just kiss the lips off of the person who got it for you?

(Y/n) sighed, shutting her phone off and curling up with her lover.

“I think that’s a yes!” Vox said, throwing his hands in the air ceremoniously. He quickly put on his best bow tie, in hopes it would get taken off by fingers other than his, and made his way towards the Hazbin Hotel.

————

Vox searched through each room until he found the one you and Alastor shared.

He scowled at the door, seeing a heart with the initials scribed on it “(Y/i) + A”

Pathetic. He could give you so much more than that. He could give you the most advanced technological sign known to mankind just for some silly initials, not some shitty hard with nearly illegible handwriting.

He opened the door, his signature smirk dropping as he saw Alastor, his arch nemesis (in Vox’s eyes) peppering small little kisses all over (Y/n)‘s face, making her giggle.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Vox yelled, his face was blue-screening.

Alastor took one look at the fellow Overlord and let out a long string of laughter, sitting up as he pulled (Y/n) into his lap.

“Vox?! What are you doing here?!”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE TO DRINK THE TEA!! AND THEN YOU’D BE MINE!!”

Alastor hooked a arm around (Y/n)‘s waist, looking at his opponent across the room.

“This is my doe, my love, and we all know if she would’ve drank the tea, she would’ve always chosen me.”

Lets just say, the power around the Pride Ring went out after that comment.

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Word Count 1,524

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voyeurmunson · 5 months

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Drunk Dial: Eddie Munson blurb

18+ Minors DNI

"I just wanted to tell you something, as a friend." Eddie goes on. You've been on the phone for 15 minutes now. You can tell he's had one too many beers. His words running together a bit, his voice a little louder than usual.

"Of course." you tease, a giggle falling from your lips. You had just finished a joint when your phone rang, Eddie insisting he had something important to tell you.

"Your body is bangin.”

"Bangin' huh?" you giggle, your cheeks reddening immediately, grateful that he wasn't standing in front of you.

"Listen.. even friends can appreciate their friends uh-parts." he slurs, a little giggle slipping his lips.

"That skirt the other day, baby. Fuuuck." He groans dramatically. "Your ass.. your fucking curves."

"Eddie." you whisper, barely able to speak as compliments continue pouring from his lips. This wasn't the first time Eddie had said something like this but he wasn't usually so blunt.

"Shhh! I'm just trying to tell you." he chuckles again, "I would have bent you over right then and there if you woulda let me." his playful tone darkens in an instant.

"I-" Suddenly you wished he was standing in front of you.

"Mmm.. I can picture it now." he hums. "Pushing your skirt above your hips. Teasing you first. Do you like to be teased, sweetheart?"

"Fuck, Eds." you breathe out, your heart pounding in your chest, your pussy beginning to throb from his words.

"Shit, sorry baby.. I'm a little," he pauses to hiccup loudly, "a little drunk."

"It's okay.. I-I do like to be teased, by the way." you whisper into the phone, not wanting the conversation to end. Your high giving you a little boost of confidence.

"Yeah? Can I tell you what I'd do first?Hypothetically.” he rasps.

"Please." you whimper.

"Shit.. yeah, okay. First I'd bend you over.. like we talked about." he says giddily.

"Mhmm."

"Then I'd run my fingers up your thigh slowly until I reach your panties. I bet they'd be wet. Would they be wet, sweetheart?"

"So wet." you purr, escalating the situation further, resulting in a deep moan from Eddie.

Fuck, he's hot.

"I would bring my fingertips to your clit, starting slow. Teasing you just a bit. Then I'd move lower, feeling your soaked panties."

"Soaked?" you egg him on.

"Fucking drenched." he groans.

"What next?"

He chuckles lustfully at your eager tone. "I'd slip them to the side.. what color are they, baby?"

"Red. Lacy."

"Fuck me. Mmm.. okay. I'd slip the lace to the side, finally feeling you on my fingers.."

"Fast or slow?"

"Slow, in and out, I bet you feel so fucking good.”

“How many fingers?" he moans growing hard at the thought.

"Two?"

"Two.. yeah.. two sounds good. I'd start slow, gliding them in and out, speeding up, listening to your sounds.. finger fucking you real good, sweetheart. Make you cum all over my hand. God, know you'd be so wet."

"So wet for you, Eddie. My pussy would be so wet for you." you purr, surprising yourself with your words.

"Sweetheart... you're gonna make me cum." he blurts out at the same time that you blurt out your own sentence. "Do you wanna come over?"

"Yes. God, yes." he answers hastily.

"Wait, Eddie.. I don't think you should drive right now."

"No, no, no. I'm not driving. Stevie here is gonna drive me. Aren't ya buddy? Oh, here. You wanna say hi?" You hear a rustling on the other end of the phone. Oh god.

"Uh.. hi." Steve mutters awkwardly through the phone.

"Heh.. hi Steve." your face blushes profusely as you realize Steve must have been there the whole time.

"So. uh- need me to bring him?"

"Mhmm.. yeah. Please."

"I'm about to fuck your brains out." Eddie's voice comes through the phone again. CLICK.

#Eddie Munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson blurb

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