#like we talked abt it but we've both been too anxious to like. Do It. and then this month we're like ykw fuck it let's go shopping‼

[kkujo]

meeting mj is scary bc they always dress super cool so i have to pull out all the stops or i will look like connecticut clark beside them .

#THEY SAID WE'RE GONNA BE LIKE THE MEME W THE BLACK AND PINK HOUSES 😭 #i rarely dress up but i will NOT let mj show me up. so i am wearing a cutesy outfit lest i stand next to them looking like adam sandler #IT'S SO CRAZY TO ME THAT WE ARE GOING TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM TOGETHER IN 1 WEEK. #we made friends on tumblr in 2018 over miraculous ladybug it's a little funny. and next week we r going to Hang Out. #IT'S MY FIRST TIME EVER MEETING AN ONLINE FRIEND ACTUALLY. it's funny bc we've lived like an hour away for almost 6 years #and been best friends #and just. never met up . #like we talked abt it but we've both been too anxious to like. Do It. and then this month we're like ykw fuck it let's go shopping‼

[lunicho]

Saw this on another blog and wanted to send it to you too ☺️

Pick any 5 moots and describe them using 3 words! <3

ooh this is so cute, i love when ppl ask me to talk abt my moots cuz i love bragging about them!! the hard part is picking 5 moots to do this with hmm

@adoresol - passionate, honest, and devoted. i have actually been good friends with her for a good like four years now i think omg so there's many words to describe her but i think these are the best ones for now. she feels deeply and is very genuine in her emotions which is something i admire about her. she's also extremely honest, i love this about her because if i ask her something she'll be straight up with me. she's also very devoted bc like why is she still my friend LMAOOO she's so loyal and just like!?!?!?!?!?!??! my pookie wookie bear fr, i've told her so much cheesy corny shit abt how i feel abt our friendship so i'll spare y'all

@kissohee - its so hard to describe her with just three words! but i would say chaotic, lovable, and genuine. i never feel stress when talking to her and we've grown comfortable with one another quite quickly. i think we just have had this connection from the beginning and she just made me so so comfortable. she's also so loveable like im gonna hold her hand fr she's so cute. and she's so genuine, i always feel that she means everything that she says and it makes me even more comfy with her. she's also just like me we're both so random and we both talk a lot so its the perfect pace for me. the convos are always so fast like idk if ppl would be able to keep up with us and how much we switch topics LMAO but yeah! i hope that we just get closer and closer in the future and that she's always happy <3 (also open-minded would be a rlly good one for her but only her and i know why and that's the way its gonna stay LMAO)

@sminiac - saiii!!! i never include her in my moots posts so i wanted to this time :3! i'm gonna say kind, inviting, and adorable. she's literally so so kind, everytime i send smth or interact with her she's like "my dearest bunny!" AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY SO SO HAPPY!! she's always so sweet to me and like idk smth abt her is just so adorable. plus her blog rn is so adorable i love the layout. i do still get anxious to send too much stuff and things like that but ur so so welcoming and inviting that ik im always welcome but im scared to be annoying LMAOGDJ. i hope we can yap more and more abt 8turn tgt and just chat some more!!

@bubblegyu00 - energetic, humorous, and chatty,, our convos are extremely fast paced and go on for the entire day. i'm always laughing at smth or we're always losing it over smth someone did (usually a zb1 member or nicho tbh). she's energetic and keeps up with my pace and i do the same with hers. she also makes me laugh which is why i said she's humorous. we're always going on and on abt the same 3 things yet we never get tired of it like its gonna eat every single time PLS. BUT YEAH she's super fun, her nonnie to friend storyline is very very iconic and i love that for her. can't wait to keep screaming about kyungmin over and over <33

@xhdream - we've started to talk in the dms now and dinna's such a sweet girlie :(. i would describe her as easy-going, charming, and friendly. dinna's sooo so cute and always so sweet to me and she has been since the beginning. talking to her has been so fun so far cuz she's very approachable and she engages in the conversation so so much. our time difference is very big so we have to catch each other at a specific time but it's worth it everytime. there's just something about her that's so fun and so kind and that's why i said she's charming. her and her blog just have this good and sweet energy that i really really enjoy <3

#⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ bunny chats <3 #ILY GUYS SOOOOOOO MUCH

[talictries]

friendship vent (agane LMAO)

i didnt say this before because i was too embarrassed LMAO but a little over 2 weeks ago i ruined my best friend of 5 year's 21st birthday by getting way too drunk, breaking up the whole event, and having a ambulance called on me LMAO. i am ok (obvi) but I've always been the one who's leeched off her for emotional support shit (because i have no friends except her lol) and we've had these similar arguments in the past but because it was supposed to be her big day, and it was in front of all her friends from uni and shit, and her family (which had to deal with me and house me for that night) none have ever been this bad.

because my mental health is so shit, she often worries if I've like kms-ed even tho i wouldn't do that. but i gave her space for 2 weeks and finally messaged her today being like yo hope you're well all that shit. she messaged back (a good sign) and we talked for a tiny but but she was like I'm still mad at u abt the party thing but I'm also worried about your mental health.'

and like, sure, i could have just said 'dw I'm all good' and moved on, but in the past 3 years where I've lost all my other friends and family (no one died dw, just stopped talking to friends and family moved far away) I've always kinda leaned on her the most. and over the past few months when my mental health was at its lowest, i could tell she was starting to get anxious just by my mere existence (thinking i was dead or smth) and its been weighing on my mind that she doesn't really need that shit in her life, because her life comparatively is a fuck ton more stressful atm.

so basically i info dumped (not a slay) and was like look i was giving u space, but I've been thinking about our friendship which i am the one who always messes up, and ik we've had a few conversations abt it before but i just wanted to state my piece. already from my side this has been a slightly unhealthy relationship because i know i am far too dependant on you, and i don't want this turning into a more unhealthy friendship because before that was a v internal me thing whereas now its actually impacting your life. so i love our friendships and its happy moments but i want you to really evaluate your life and make the final decision as to if you want me in it or not. maybe not for a few weeks, or moths, or ever, but i feel guilty that YOU feel guilty about it.

and ik it isn't my place to dictate her feelings or whatever but now i fear if i just kept my mouth shut we'd be on the path to getting back to normal. but at the same time, if i didn't say this then i feel like I'm mental-health-trapping her because she thinks if she leaves me ill kms??? like baby trapping but not really. anyway idk. she said 'this is a lot, i need time' which is totally fair and i will give it to her, but honestly now i feel I've been TOO real and she'll be like 'yeah i actually don't need talic in my life' and that may send me spiralling because i have zero support systems (apart from ao3 LMAO) without her.

oh well. if it works out it will, if it doesn't then its better for both of us in the long-run ig. just sad I've ruined another 5 year long friendship because of my alcoholic clingy stupid mental-health-issue-ridden ass.

lol

im ok dw. i truly want what's best for her and if its a life without me then i accept it. i will not be selfish and take more from her like i have. besides having zero friends will legit make me go out and make more because i die without social interaction (i say not showing up to uni for the third day week in a row because I'm lowkey agoraphobic and high-key depressed)

slay. perhaps i will write the most gut-churning sad angst to cope

#talic.life #tw: mental health #tw vent

[aplaceforthesoul]

21/f hi, am I bad a person for resenting my bf's past? He's my 1st for everything&we've been going out for 10months. I love him very much but sometimes I get frustrated&bothered by the fact that he's had sex w/ multiple people in the past/has 2 exes. He's loyal kind&understanding even when I get moody. For example, sometimes I would get jealous fits where I'd start thinking abt the sexual experiences & get mad @ him for apparently no reason (to him) I think I'm jealous that he's had [cont.]

experiences before he met me & I don’t know what it’s like to also experience it. For some reason it makes me wish I could somehow get those experiences too. Like with his prev. ex they lived together on campus&bonded over photography&nature. I feel so jealous sometimes & even inadequate. He hooked up w/ someone before too (all of this happened b4 he met me) & I don’t know why but I’m getting emotional even as I type this. I guess when it comes down to it I just want to also have had some of these experiences. but i also love him so much? i don’t understand it. i’m trying so, so hard to come to terms with his past. It gets bad sometimes where I have to steer clear from thinking abt it or else it just ruins my mood. We’ve talked abt it before&we both agreed there’s nothing he could rlly do abt it bc it was in the past before he met me. I’ve been feeling this way every now&then for the past few months. How can I come to terms w this easier?

I don’t think that you’re a fundamentally bad person or anything? but this is definitely something that you need to move past from. the jealousy and resentment isn’t fair to your boyfriend, and it’s only toxic for you to keep getting anxious and upset over something you can’t change. 

I guess maybe it’s a case of ‘fomo’, fear of missing out? I can remember that I once was irrationally angry and jealous over a group of my friends going to a music festival, and I couldn’t come! \: and I spent the entire weekend being angry and jealous over thinking about all the good times they were having, and I wasn’t, it was awful. the resentment you feel is understandable, but not fair. and like your boyfriend’s past has nothing to do with you or your current relationship together! his past isn’t bad or morally wrong, it’s not something that can changed. 

how to deal with anxiety and future panic attacks over this? this post and this post could help you out too. plus!! sometimes saying things aloud can help? people really do underestimate the power of affirmations! so saying out loud “I’m not going to let my thoughts get the best of me today, I’m going to stay grounded, I’ve got this” or something like that really can help – it makes things feel a lot more real, and a lot more believable, it gives your words power, and gives you the strength to believe in your own convictions. so if there’s days where your thoughts are becoming too loud to cope with? stop whatever you’re doing, take a few deep breaths and say aloud to yourself “I’m not going to let my thoughts get the best of me today, I’m going to stay grounded, I’ve got this”. repeat it like a mantra if that works, whatever helps you.

it’s hard to move past something like this, when your emotions feel so powerful? but all you can is keep reminding yourself that your thoughts / feelings aren’t fair -- reminding yourself of that means that you stay aware of the fact that you need to change this feeling, it means that you’re less likely to get caught up with a skewed perception of things. remind yourself that you love your boyfriend and he loves you, that all you can do is focus on the present moment and not the past. take care

- tash

#advice #resentment #jealousy #relationships #21f #Anonymous