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#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing
ganondoodle · 8 months
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i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
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nonbaznary · 2 years
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ao3 tag game ✨
thank you so much @wellbelesbian for tagging me in this! i really liked reading your answers, lol. sorry it took so long to post this, but here it is!!
how many works do you have on ao3?
currently i have 28! i deleted a few last year, unfortunately, but i’ll work this year to get that work count higher 🤲
what’s your total ao3 word count?
31522! weird number but i’ll take it
how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
on ao3, five. or, i guess, technically four, because two of them are Carry On Series and Simon Snow & Related Fandoms. the other three are BIG BARF EW EW EW Voltron: Legendary Defender, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. ew. ew. i have this thing- sticking to fandoms for authors and sometimes even works i now hate. anyways, i want to start writing for other fandoms too. i used to do stuff for riordanverse (mainly percy jackson, and i still have some WIPs), miraculous ladybug (not the greatest, but im watching it with my lil sis and its fun to try to fix that shit) and uhh i think it was the dragon prince? and she-ra and carmen sandiego? which were fun. so yeah!
what are your top five fics by kudos?
5. Maybe we just lived between hurting and healing
Gen, m/m, snowbaz
After a whole life of hurting, Simon and Baz finally get to healing. Baz adores it.
4. Of queer weddings and family parties
Gen, m/m, snowbaz
Baz and Simon are loudly queer in family events, especially now that they're engaged.
3. Move, I'm gay
T, gen
Inspired by the tweet: "sobbing at this lil girl at target. dad tries to get her a dress and she just YELLS “no I’m GAY I CAN’T” and her dad just sighs so loudly and goes “no you’re not gay, I’m gay. You’re five.”" Or: bad gay humor is generational, and often unintentional! - for @sharing-a-room-with-an-open-fire
2. Here, kitty-kitty…
T, gen + m/m, snowbaz
Simon adopts a cat. Baz pretends to hate him. It's probably safer for everyone this way… - for the @carryon-anon-fest
1. (Spend my days) Dreaming 'bout you
Gen, m/m, snowbaz
Life has been amazing for Simon and Baz. Simon can't stop daydreaming about their future together. He has a million questions to ask Baz. That's easier said than done, though. Written for the Carry On Exchange (Baz's Birthday Flash Round!) - for @letraspal
do you respond to comments? why or why not?
yeah, totally! i mean, at least i try to 🥲 im not really active on ao3 (and not always logged in because i forget to check that) but every time i get in i try to check my inbox and answer as much comments as i can, even if theyre just replies. i LOVE feedback on my fics and i think chatting about fics is really cool
what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
👁👁👁👁👁 uhhh
ive had some pretty bad angst fics. all hurt, no comfort, definitely no happy endings. a lot of main character deaths and shit like that.
BUT none of these are still up, so i’ll go with one that is and i actually remember- recently, (I'll shut my mouth) I'll let you go, which is my least read and interacted fic ever (i mean, FAIR) a nicodemus & fiona fic from when he was Turned. yknow, the nice stuff
have you ever received hate on a fic?
no, i dont think so? not that i recall. ive had people whod send me like . personal hate? but still loved my fanfiction and told me so lol. but i dont think ive ever gotten hate on a fic. if i have, i completely forgot about it, or just straight up never saw it
do you write smut? if so, what kind?
not really? ive experienced and tried to get into it some little time ago but its not really my sort of thing. guess its still too awkward and embarrassing for my developing queer little brain. a few friends keep reminding me to try my hand at that because we do have fun talking about it lol, and im curious to see how itd turn out. and id definitely like to try to write some fics with more of a hint of seggsual stuff and not feel like crap for it!
have you ever had a fic stolen?
nope! (or not that i know of…)
have you ever had a fic translated?
ive been asked if people could translate my fics to spanish (and one in english when i wrote more in portuguese) but ive never actually seen my translated fics posted? 🤔 im fairly sure someone sent me, like, in DMs, a translation of one of my fics, but i dont think it ever saw the light of day
what’s your all-time favourite ship?
i dont really do those! i mean, that definitely are some ships that i will treasure for a long time, but i dont really choose all-time favourites for basically anything fandom-related. my taste changes very often, so thats not reallt a thing for me fkkdkdkd right now, its snowbaz, obviously (snowshaz is also starting to grow a lot in my lil polyamlm heart)
have you ever co-written a fic before?
i have! i used to do that ALL THE TIME when i first got into fanfiction, but lately not so much. i miss it though, it was such fun, and it helped me get even more ideas for fics. we'd have groupchats for fics, and sometimes even go like RPG-wise to develop scenes / dialogue. when i stopped co-writing often, i would still pitch in with a few chapters / scenes for my friends’ fics, and they’d do the same for mine. i loved it, and i think the readers thought it was fun too!, but i stopped writing frequently altogether so its harder to do that, i guess. maybe now that im getting back into writing in general i’ll get back into that too. also, renée and i are planning to co-write something soon, so !!
what’s a wip you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?
wow, so many of my WIPs fit into this... my post break up art teacher simon fic. my band au. full like the moon, which is an exes-to-friends-to-lovers thing i think i posted the prologue to. the watford drama society au. most of my longfics, probably. lol
i have a bunch of fics that i might not even actually start writing. like, self indulgent fics that arent coherent at all and dont make any fucking sense. fics that are basically just a few random scenes splashed together and left aside. i like them, but... eh
what are your writing strengths?
queer stuff. angst angst and angst, i guess. people usually say im good with humor, and dialogues, so these!
what are your writing weaknesses?
as it probably became clear, if it wasnt already obvious; long fics! planning, actually writing a BUNCH of shit, and getting to the end. endings, in general, aren’t really my jam
what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fics?
i like it! dont really have a problem with the concept in general, but i do think its decent to leave the translations in the notes (or make it really, really obvious from context if possible)
what was the first fandom you wrote for?
harry potter, i think! i discovered fanfiction with harry potter, more specifically the marauders fandom, bc i used to look things up about them and only fanworks wouldve touched the subject 🥲 so thats what started my interest in fic
what’s your favourite fic you’ve written?
this is a hard one, because all my current favorites are still WIPs ✨✨✨ as in, do you want me (dead)? and my golden AU, mostly. but im really fond of And if you have nightmares, we’ll dance on the bed. i loved writing it, i love baz and penny’s relationship, and i think people should pay more attention to penelope’s trauma, because it's definitely there. it felt good to adress it. also note how literally all of these are named afted songs / lyrics LMAOOOO
tagging @thesebookishdelights / @aqueeriano / @punkjuliandiaz because i said i would 😌😌
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raevenlywrites · 3 years
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Thanks for the find the word tag @infinitelyblankpage! This is hands down my favorite writeblr game :D
Words: help, water, cup, shadow
Help
They looked to the machine, to the frustrated witch, and to the spikey red readings.
“Do you think it’ll help?”
He shrugged. “It’s worth a shot?” He paused like he was going to say one thing, then abandoned it for another. “I still can’t seem to trust my magic. I have no idea living this close to the sea could through it this much.”
Issa wondered if they should tell him about what they’d seen in his aura. It wasn’t totally unusual for a witch to be particuarly gifted with reading aura. They didn’t think any of them saw to the level that a planar did, but maybe...
But how would he react? Could they frame it in such a way that it wouldn’t freak him out? He’d already seemed to have keyed into the fact that it was the ocean wrecking havoc with him...
Cup and Water both happen here
The moon was less demanding tonight, mostly full, but waning. Daniel didn’t remember what that meant for the tides. It didn’t seem to matter, because Liselle walked straight out into the ocean. And didn’t seem inclined to stop.
 
“Liselle?”
 
Daniel stood at the edge of the shore, within the wet sand line but not so close that the waves did more than kiss his toes. His shoes were tied together and hanging over one shoulder, Liselle’s strappy sandals laced with them.
 
The mer stood out in the water well up past her knees, but not quite hitting her dress. Short dress. He’d noticed that, in the back of his mind, when she’d been dancing with Steve. He tried not to think about how she’d looked pressed up against him, back molded to his front, all that yummy goodness of her on display, but under another’s hands--
 
Liselle touched his cheek, and he blinked. He’d lost time. He stared stupidly down at the mer he loved and thought “Oh. I love her. Well.” As if it was both news and not, important and not. She cupped his face with her other hand.
 
“You have to come stand in the water. You won’t hear if you’re not touching.”
 
He nodded and let her lead him out by the hand, realizing only after that he could have taken off his overclothes and just waded out in his shorts. He was a little surprised Liselle wasn’t full on naked. He hoped this wouldn’t ruin her dress.
 
She led him out until the water passed his waist, his ribs, almost midchest. He thought she must be floating now, by the odd swaying tug of her hand in his. He glanced down, and a long, shimmering tail had replaced her legs.
 
The tail twinkled like the night sky, glittering with tiny points of light. It was iridescent darkness against blacker darkness, tail and water almost indistinguishable. It undulated with the waves, frilly edges seemed to dissolve into the sea, like the point where Liselle stopped and sea began didn’t matter. She squeezed his hand, giving him a sad smile.
 
“It hurts,” he whispered, knowing it somehow to be true. She nodded.
 
“It always hurts now, one way or the other. But like a good hurt, like watching you go to work.”
The look in her eyes told him that she loved him too, but didn’t have the words for it. Maybe this was one of those mer things, or rather, one of those un-mer things that mers came to the surface to understand.
“But if you never leave, I don’t get the happy bubble of you coming back. I like that feeling, So it’s worth it to be apart for a little while.”
Shadow
Daniel felt something ripple, and he realized abruptly that Issa was Not A Witch. He’d known it, he had. But he hadn’t felt it until now. Now, Issa reminded him of the Issa of the fiery eyes, and piercing talons, the image of it layering over her like a bright shadow. Up until that moment, he’d still be thinking of her--them--as a witch. They felt like a witch, acted like a witch, magicked like a witch. But they were Not A Witch.
 
Which made him wonder where they’d gotten the magic to pass.
 
“No thievery, pretty boy,” she cooed. “Just copy-cating. This body was made up of the same thing witches are made up of. It even came with its own affinity--warding, if you’d bothered to ask.”
Tagging back @kryskakikomi @viawrites-andacts @scmalarky and anyone else whod like to do it. Your words are: Friend, Last, Flash, and Voice
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