#like man. jayce has his own set of problems and VIKTOR NEVER TALKS ABOUT HIS so how is jayce supposed to know | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

angelltheninth · 2 years

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What normal day life jobs would arcane characters have? I feel like Sevika would either own her own gym or be a firefighter

This is a really fun ask Anon! I never thought about this before.

Pairing: Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Ekko, Silco, Sevika, Viktor, Jayce, Mel x Reader

Tags: fluff, established relationship, overworking, teasing, flirting

A/N: Arcane time again! It feels like it's been forever since s1 aired right?

Jinx would be an engineer. She always comes home covered in motor oil and grease. Even though she always wears gloves she gets blisters from working a lot and has pretty rough hands.

Sometimes she gets tired but she tries not to let it show too much, she just says she needs her powernap while cuddling with you and she's all set to go for another day.

"Ya were waiting up for me sugar? Ya didn't have to do that, I called you when I closed up didn't I? Had a little trouble on the way home so I had to improvise, might need to take the car to a shop soon. Or I can... what? I can fix it! The engine went poof one time sugar! One time."

Vi has her own gym, she used to be a MMA fighter before but now she works for herself, her own rules. It makes you worry less about her too.

As much as you loved seeing her in the ring you were also very worried about her well being a lot of the time. Now you have less to worry about when she goes to work and she still gets to show off for you when ever you visit the gym. You have a special membership.

"Here to work out with me sweet stuff? Or maybe you're here to watch? I'm fine either way, you know I love you watching me. We can hop into the shower later, I'm gonna be all sweaty and... wet. Hey don't hide behind the towel, let me see that cute face I missed so much."

Caitlyn would either be a police officer or a private detective because of her brilliant deduction skills. She tries not to talk about work a lot but sometimes you can see her mind wonder to a case she's working on.

Her work comes with risks of course but you know she's always being as careful as she can. She often comes home late, especially if it's a bug case she's working on but she also doesn't mind when you visit her in her office. In fact you're more then welcome to.

"Darling what is it? That time already? Time flies I suppose. Yes, I'll finish up soon. Just need to sort out some paperwork for the man we arrested. What's the arrest for? Oh come now, you know I can't disclose that. For your safety too. It wasn't that interesting anyway. It's always interesting when I'm talking about it? Are you flirting with me? Right now? Well good thing these walls are soundproof then."

Ekko works as a repair man, on anything from kitchen appliances to car engines. Because of this he too can come home a little smudged but he's never too dirty for a kiss and hug.

Because of his work he can fix up anything you need around your home, and he might do it for a little longer then needed just to put on a little show for you.

"Broken again? Firefly be honest, is it really or do you just want to see me on my back again? Ha alright, alright I'll take a look, but I swear if its... oh... that is... really, really broken. What the hell did you do to it? Not to worry, as you know I'm very good with my hands."

Silco would be a pharmacist. But he'd also be into pharmaceutical development as well. He's very passionate about what he does and often has books stacked up on his desk, even at home.

You could listen to him talk about his work for hours even if you don't fully understand everything. And no he will not prescribe you just anything, he knows how hooked people can get on those.

"Books on the desk? I'm sorry about that darling, I'll gather them up later I promise. A customer of mine had an allergic reaction to something that was prescribed to them so I'm trying to work out what I could suggest that would help with their problem. You also have a problem? Oh, that kind of problem. I see. Well let's see what I can do about that."

Sevika is a bodyguard but she does have a wide martial arts background. Due to her intimidating stature she can resolve most conflicts without force but she does enjoy a little skirmish every now and then.

You actually met because she was hired to guard you. Of course it was a little inappropriate at the time but when her job was finished she was more than happy to take you out on a date.

"What you looking at me like that for sugar lips? I look handsome? Well I should damn well hope you find me hot since we're dating. It was hard to keep your hands off me when we met? Oh I would have been more than happy to pin you against a wall and spread your legs. But I am a professional. Lucky for me you wanted to see again after."

Viktor would be a science professor. He does like inventing as well but he likes to take the opportunity to teach people the things he knows and maybe be an inspiration for them.

He loves reading and grading papers, seeing how his students think and encouraging them to look a different angles for solutions. You always feel happy when you see him grade a test and then he gets that proud smile on his face while doing so.

"I'll be done soon darling, just have a few more of these to get through. I think they are improving yes, quite quickly I might add. Because they have a great teacher? You flatter me my love. But thank you. What exactly do you want me to grade you on? Oh. Oh! Well I'm no expert at the topic myself, perhaps you could demonstrate for me?"

Jayce would be an inventor. Definitely has a membership in the gym so he could easily be mistaken for having a different job. He's too passionate about his job to do other things through.

Well other then you. You're his absolute favorite thing to do. When he gets home that is. He has been known to send flirty messages sometimes and has had an eureka moment while talking to you. He's very cute when he's concentrated.

"Hold on babe, this will just take a second, I need to write this down before I forget. Then you can have my full attention again. I swear you're some kind of lucky charm or something. Maybe you can go to work with me sometime, having you there might get the juices flowing faster. Not those juices! Get your mind out of the gutter."

Mel is a really good painter. It started out as a hobby but she took the initiative to make it her full time job. Has considered teaching it but is happy just drawing for now.

Will sketch you a lot, her book is full of sketches of you. She calls you her artblock destroyer. It also helps that you're really pleasing to look at. And no she will not show you each and every one since in her opinion some are too rough and scratchy.

"Hold still darling, I can't capture the pose if you keep moving like this. Yes I have other paintings to work on but you... it's relaxing to look at you. And if you be a good model for me I might be convinced to give you a little reward later. That's right, so keep still for me just a little longer."

#arcane #arcane x reader #jinx x reader #vi x reader #caitlyn x reader #ekko x reader #silco x reader #sevika x reader #viktor x reader #jayce x reader #mel x reader #arcane imagines #arcane headcanons #league of leguends #league of legends x reader #league of legends imagine #league of legends headcanons

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selenestarmoon · 2 years

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Jayce Tails: Impotence and Lack of Control

Maybe everyone dislike Jayce but that doesn't take away from the fact that he's a well written character.

Many people believe that Jayce's story is about the acquisition of power and how it can corrupt you but in reality Jayce's story is about how changing society for the better isn’t easy and how you can lose control of your own life even if you have much power.

Let's go from the beginning to demonstrate this.

Due to him and his mother almost die in a snowstorm until they're saved by an arcane magic user, Jayce gains an admiration and curiosity about arcane magic and this makes Jayce think about how he can help society with it. and leads to experiments with it but he never expected that Vi and her companions destroy his workshop and expose his illegal experiments.

This causes Jayce to go to trial and there he explains from the bottom of his heart about his belief that magic can be controlled through science and how it can improve the lives of others but no one believes him or they just don't care. This is the first contact that Jayce has with the system and he can perceive how he is a small unimportant gear, so much so that if it were not for his mother he wouldn't be able to continue living in Piltover.

Jayce feels betrayed that he was forced to undermine both his work and his dreams and, in desperation, tries to commit suicide in what used to be his workshop.

This scene is important because it makes it clear that what Jayce cares about the most are his inventions, he is a scientist at heart and if he doesn't have control over his inventions then he has nothing. Viktor stops him and they both continue to experiment with arcane magic until they achieve what they set out to do, they both manage to create hextech technology.

Years pass and Jayce becomes a symbol of Piltover: the Man of Progress. The people who despised him now want favors and alliances with him. This can be seen at a high society party during Jayce's speech.

Now everything revolves around him, the Man of Progress. It's a very big title that he must carry on his shoulders.

At this point Heimerdinger suggests that they postpone the experiment while Mel wants them to go ahead. Jayce doesn't know what to decide and more importantly he doesn't understand why he should decide because Viktor has the same amount of merits as him, both were the ones who created hextech technology but Jayce is credited with leadership for stupid and superficial reasons: he isn't disabled, he has good looking and he was born in Piltover. Obviously Jayce has this in mind and that is why he isn't happy when he goes on stage because he just wants to be a scientist who invents things to do good.

Shortly after Jinx steals the hextech gem and Jayce takes responsibility before the Council and proposes to stop all investigations until the matter is resolved but they don't support him. Jayce realizes that instead of being concerned about the safety of the citizens, the leaders of Piltover care more about appearances and the solution that the Council proposes is equally questionable since they name Jayce, a scientist with no experience in politic, as one of their members but this isn't a security measure nor does it solve the problem, but rather it's a way to keep the masses calm, giving them a false sense of security since they will think that there will be no way for something bad to happen if the Man of Progress is one of the leaders of Piltover.

Jayce, being the only member of the Council who really cares about the safety of its citizens, decides to increase the security measures behind the back of his fellow Council members, which makes them not happy with him and make illegal transactions, this shows the fact that they only care about benefiting themselves and not the population. Jayce to make amends for his actions must talk to each of them and earn his favor through empty promises and fake smiles.

Something that I liked is how during the scene where the promises that Jayce makes with the members of the council take place, the instrumental becomes more unrestrained and chaotic because it symbolizes Jayce's lack of control over his own life.

Not only is he making a lot of promises that he had not previously premeditated or discussed with his partner, but he no longer has control of his inventions and, even as part of the Council, he doesn't have the control to change the things that he considers to be necessary.

Little by little the conflict between Piltover and Zaun is increasing and Jayce, despite being a member and leader of the Council, he doesn't know what to do, everyone suggests and even demands how she should deal with this delicate situation: Mel says something, the Council says another thing, Viktor thinks differently, Vi wants to act, Caitlyn wants diplomacy, Ambessa wants war. All this confuses Jayce and the fact that he can't make a decision and stick with it makes the audience annoyed with him, it's like Shinji who doesn't want to get on the EVA, but there's the funny thing: Jayce doesn't know what to do, he is only a scientist who never aspired to have the responsibilities he has today, he has no experience, leadership or will to play this role and he knows it better than anyone.

Remember the suicide scene? At this point in the story Jayce has no control over his inventions and the only reason he doesn't plan on ending his life is because it doesn't even belong to him anymore. He is similar to All Might from My Hero Academia or Satoru Gojo from Jujutsu Kaisen because, like them, Jayce has gradually become a tool that everyone depends on, he as an individual is nobody, he has no value and people don't care about Jayce as a person, they just care about his role and fachade as the Man of Progress.

After going with Vi to fight in Zaun he realizes that he can't solve anything by this way. He kills a child unintentionally and this marks him for life for which he decides to take the diplomatic way to solve the conflict.

At this point it isn't known if the negotiation with Silco is because Jayce genuinely doesn't want to exterminate the inhabitants of Zaun or if he's simply afraid that they will end Piltover, the only thing that is known is that Jayce is tired and desperately wants to find an immediate solution to all this conflict.

After a great discussion with the Council, Jayce manages to convince them that diplomacy is the best solution and it's shown that if you can make a decision that does not have selfish ends involved, but as said before, changing things isn't easy by many external factors, this is seen when Jinx decides to end Piltover. It's the only time that Jayce as a political figure manages to do something good, something that could bring benefits in the future but it does not matter because something that he cannot control (Jinx) will ruin everything he achieved.

That's what his story is about, about impotence and lack of control. As I said before, Jayce's situation is reminiscent of Shinji's, they are disowned by people because they both function as a mirror. Both Jayce and Shinji reflect as a real life person who is given so much power and responsibilities and so little experience overnight, it's easy to say that Jayce and Shinji made mistakes because we are bystanders but what would we do if we were in a situation like that? If we were in Jayce's position we would obviously make the same bad decisions as Jayce and even make worse decisions than him.

That's why Jayce easily upsets people because he reminds us that we are inexperienced, that we have little control over things and that we are but an insignificant part of a society that will advance with or without us.

#arcane #arcane jayce #arcane meta #arcane analysis #arcane spoilers #jayce #jayce tails

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lemonmangosorbet · 2 years

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Hello, I am back with my hot takes (aka in-depth analysis) of Arcane episode 4 as I rewatch it and pay excrutiating attention to every scene with Jayce and/or Viktor (actually, I rewatched the episode last week, but then spent hours just taking screenshots of every frame, so I forgot everything I wanted to write in this post sdghkjf)

This one ended up being.....long, so I’ve popped it under a ‘read more’ so it doesn’t clog up people’s feeds - I hope you’ll still read it!

* First point: how many years have passed between ep.3 and ep.4? Going by how much both Jinx and Ekko have grown up, I’ve gotta say it’s been at least 10 years?? But I’m mad that they skipped all that time when they could have been showing us Jayce & Viktor working together in the lab! I’d literally pay to see a spin-off series that’s just Jayce & Viktor messing around with Hextech for those 10 years between the two episodes :’)

* I don’t understand anyone who can watch Arcane and think that Jayce is egotistical??? The first few minutes of this episode set him up as someone who is modest - Heimerdinger tells him the council have decided Jayce should give the Progress Day speech and Jayce’s instant reaction is “m-me?!” and he stutters and is flustered. These are not the actions of a man who’s got a big ego (Honestly reminds me of some irl mathematicians who dedicate their lives to solving particular famous problems, and when they do solve them, they do not want the fame or glory)

* I also can’t help noticing (and loving) how uncomfortable Jayce looks in any big social situation, and it happens TWICE in this episode. Both times he seeks out someone he knows (first Caitlyn, then Mel) and end up talking in a 1-on-1 conversation with them to get away from the crowds. This man is an introvert - I can feel it in my own introvert bones

* On my first watch of Arcane, I didn’t think much of Viktor using the Hexclaw during the presentation, but now that I know a bit of League of Legends lore, I’m like (Beyonce meme) THE HEXCLAW???? sdghkjf (I guess Viktor using the Hexclaw now is supposed to be foreshadowing for Machine Herald)

* The way Jayce and Viktor look to EACH OTHER FOR APPROVAL after their presentation to Heimerdinger. brb, just crying and throwing up thinking about it

* Heimerdinger telling Jayce & Viktor to spend 10 years refining the new Hextech portable devices really hurts. I understand it from Heimerdinger’s POV - it’s dangerous to put such powerful devices in the hands of everyone. However, Heimerdinger has a much longer life-span, so to him a decade is a blink of the eye. It’s not like that for Viktor (I suspect he already knows he’s sick but not how sick because they do show him coughing in this episode). Viktor knows his time is limited and he wants to help his fellow Zaunites while he still has a chance to see it. Seeing his disappointment hurts. Seeing Jayce’s big concerned eyes while he looks at Viktor hurts ;-;

* When Jayce has that 1-on-1 conversation with Mel it is yet again obvious how modest he is. She’s telling him he could be a leader of Piltover and he’s like “Me?? Are you sure???” This man never intended on becoming a leader; he just wanted to play science in his lab

* Just before Jayce’s speech when Viktor looks sick with worry because Jayce isn’t there yet, and then Jayce tells him he should join him to make the address and Viktor’s like “in front of all those people?!” If Jayce is an introvert then Viktor is the super-introvert lmao

* Arcane did something very clever in this scene. Jayce tells Viktor to join him to give the speech because it’s their Hextech dream - Jayce is not trying to steal any of the credit from Viktor (he always says they are partners in Hextech). However, there is a frame of Viktor standing on his own and then (due to the forced perspective) when Jayce puts his Man of Progress mug down, it completely blocks Viktor from view. Definitely foreshadowing of what will happen in the future - Viktor will be expelled from the Academy, become the Machine Herald, and the world will forget his involvment in Hextech and assume it was all Jayce

* Mister Jayce “oh god I’m forcing this smile and I hate public speaking” Talis

* When Jayce is giving his Progress Day speech and he says “No one in my life expected very much of me” and the camera immediately cuts to Viktor smiling fondly at Jayce (because Viktor was the one who believed in Jayce at his lowest moment)

* Viktor looked so disappointed when Jayce didn’t reveal the new Hextech innovations they’d been working on and I feel like we were robbed by not seeing how that conversation went down between them after the Progress Day speech

* When they’re brought before the council and Viktor tries to stand and speak up, but Jayce stops him, I know a lot of people have mixed feelings about Jayce’s actions, but he stops Viktor from speaking only so he can take responsibility for the explosion and theft. I am pretty convinced that Jayce is trying to protect Viktor

* This scene is pretty key at setting up Jayce an idealist. He wants to suspend all Hextech use and research to safeguard the population because he thinks it’s the right thing to do. But then the council are like “but think of the economy!” and Jayce is like “what about the safety of the people?”. The man wants to do what’s in the interest of the greater good, and this is gonna keep happening throughout the rest of the series

* When Mel suggests to the rest of the council that Jayce become a new council member, there are two important things that happen: 1) Jayce is reluctant and it’s evident not only in the way he looks, but he actually says ‘no’ out loud. And 2) when Mel is making her proposition, the camera cuts to a shot taken from just behind Viktor and you can HEAR AND SEE HIM take this deep breath, like he is extremely nervous for Jayce and what him becoming a Councillor would mean for them and their Hextech work.

Ok, I think that’s it. Sorry this ended up being so long, but if you read until the end, then THANKS! ;3;

#jayvik #jayce talis #viktor #arcane #arcane meta #league of legends #lemon mango rewatches arcane #long post #these two boys are going to be the de*th of me sdfghjk

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viktorredemptionarc · 6 years

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Title: For a moment we get to be glorious.

A/N: Hozier possessed me at 1am.

Word Count: 2150.

Characters/Relationships: Jayce/Viktor.

Rating: G.

Summary: I couldn't utter my love when it counted, but I'm singing like a bird about it now. And I couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted, but I'm singing like a bird about it now.

Link to AO3 again.

Viktor loved Jayce in ways he couldn't grasp or comprehend. It hurt him, and it elevated him, and it destroyed him, and it rebuilt him, and it made him weak and strong and all the things that mattered and all the things that didn't. It was a feeling so enormous that not even giving emotions up could smother it.

It did change, with time, warped by scorn and resentment. It was only natural, Viktor reasoned, for a lifetime of disappointment to make him bitter. It wasn't his fault that Jayce, when given the chance, betrayed him. It was the way of life when the heart was involved, and he would be better off without its petty and capricious whims. Nothing good had ever come of them, after all.

"There is something on your mind, creator," Blitzcrank says, standing tall by Viktor's side in his laboratory down in Zaun, and he corrects himself. One good thing did come out of his impulsive and idealistic youth, and it was Blitzcrank. And nothing else. "Is there anything worrying you?"

"In a way, yes," he circles Blitzcrank and bends down to reach a bolt that needs screwing on what would be its ankle. It buzzes with static, but doesn't comment farther. "Have you seen Jayce lately?"

"Yes," Viktor's fingers tighten around the wrench, yet he keeps on working. Refuses to give into his own weakness. He did ask, after all. "He was in Zaun this Monday. He has changed."

It pauses. Viktor twists the bolt one last time and stands. Blitzcrank is looking up at the ceiling, a hand on where its chin would be. Viktor waits, leaving the wrench on a stool while Blitzcrank chooses how it wants to speak.

"He said hello. He looked tired. He asked about you, too. I think that he misses you," it thinks, Viktor muses, and there's a sense of wonder to it all. To an artificial intelligence making that kind of statement, thinking, maybe trying to understand complex human relationships, attempting perhaps to fix them to the best of its capacity. Viktor feel proud of Blitzcrank like, he suspects, a father must do of a child. "I think that you miss him too."

Blitzcrank looks down, directly at him from above, and Viktor looks up, meets its eyes and finds that he is incapable of lying to it.

"What do you reckon I should do, given the situation?" he asks, partly to test Blitzcrank's thought process' boundaries and partly to have any kind of advice. Blitzcrank buzzes and hisses, drops a hand so Viktor can put his over it, and makes a drawn out metallic noise that sounds almost like a sigh.

"Humans are complicated. I do not know what you should do. You are unhappy. The other human is unhappy. How could you stop being unhappy? I am not equipped to solve this kind of problem," it says, voice booming, and Viktor hums. "But I know you, creator. You are good. You want to do good. You have been sad for a long time. Be good to yourself."

Viktor watches his hand, dwarfed and fragile as it rests on the tip of Blitzcrank's finger, and decides not to tell it that he's afraid of having forgotten how.

-x-

It's almost dawn and Viktor is awake. He has been thinking about what Blitzcrank told him for days, but hasn't reached a satisfactory conclusion. What an ambiguous statement considering what Blitzcrank is. It's as fascinating as it's frustrating, and he would like to know who taught it abstract thought to that extent but he's sure that might have been just Blitzcrank itself.

"This is ludicrous," Viktor starts at the voice, looking up from his workbench and at a woman enclosed in shadow crossing the door to his laboratory as he, albeit reluctantly, gets ready to fight. "Viktor, we need to talk."

When the green light graces her features, Viktor relaxes upon recognizing Camille. She stops by a window, several feet away from him, frowning as much as she's able to. It's rare to see her in any kind of mood.

"Do we?" he asks, and she clicks her tongue. "I'll take that as a yes. What's the matter?"

"It's Jayce," she spits the word with such disdain Viktor is worried for Jayce's life. Camille turns to him, eyes set on Viktor's, and he can see her lips twitch down for a fraction of a second. "He has requested to see you."

Viktor has been lured into traps before, and it does not sound like Camille's style but he isn't willing to rush into one.

"That isn't something he'd do," Camille sighs, in a way that makes Viktor himself feel tired.

"This is all so very delightful, Viktor, but I don't have time to lose with your fits of nostalgic longing," she steps his way, her sharp legs clanking on the floor, and Viktor huffs. "He's a gruelling imbecile but I expected better from you."

"Why send you?"

She quirks an eyebrow at him. "Blitzcrank is busy. Who else both knows Jayce and would brave Zaun at this hour and come out of it unscathed?"

Camille doesn't wait for him to answer before turning around and walking towards the door, only stopping to look at him over her shoulder until he stands.

-x-

Jayce has changed.

Standing in the street in front of his workshop, alone with him now that Camille is gone after guiding him there, Viktor observes and categorizes and tries to rebuild what he once knew about Jayce to avoid thinking about how he's feeling.

And Jayce has changed.

Viktor remembers how he was the last time he saw him. There was something about him, his stance, that was off-putting in how arrogant it was. As if he believed that the world owed him, that Viktor owed him. Eyes set on the future, a blind trust in his own judgment, often ignoring that he made choices with too much haste.

He's looking at a defeated man now, slouching his shoulders and unshaven, in a ratty t-shirt and old pants. Jayce doesn't look like the defender of tomorrow, but Viktor recalls that he never wanted to be so either. He's blocking the open door; yet it isn't a hostile posture, just a place to be at. There is not heat in his eyes. No weapons in his hands.

Viktor is at a loss.

"You came," Jayce says, after what feels like years of silence. His voice is hoarser than Viktor remembers and it breaks his carefully built composure, memories of times long gone bringing with them an onslaught of emotions that he's relieved to be able to hide behind a mask. "I didn't think you would. Not alone, at least."

"You requested to see me," he answers, and Jayce nods. "Is that all?"

"I requested to see you, not your mask."

Reluctant as he is to let Jayce see him, Viktor also feels as raw as he hasn't in years. There's love, and animosity, and blinding hatred, and scorn. There's the aching certainty of things lost that cannot be recovered. A lifetime of missed chances and mistakes.

"Why should I indulge you?"

Jayce shrugs. "Why not?"

It's the simplicity of it that gets to him. The nonchalance. The way Jayce doesn't try to fight or argue. He looks open, vulnerable. Viktor doesn't understand why.

"You've changed," he says, and Jayce laughs. It's something that Viktor hasn't heard in, perhaps, twenty years. It makes his heart clench and his breathing stutter.

"I do hope so. I've had some time to think," he reaches out then, and Viktor only avoids stepping back out of pride, to tap on Viktor's mask. "Please, Viktor."

He sighs as he reaches back to unclasp the mask, letting it drop to the floor. Jayce locks eyes with him the second he looks up, and breaking that contact isn't even an option.

"Why," Viktor breathes out as Jayce traces the line of his nose with a finger, not seeming like he's even listening to him. "Jayce. Why are you doing this."

"You needed me," Jayce mutters, and drops his hand with a grimace.

Viktor scoffs. "That's presumptuous."

"But you did. And I wasn't there."

"That happened twenty years ago."

"It's still happening," Jayce points at his arm, at his hand. At himself. He smiles, rueful and lopsided. "I'm tired of living like this."

Viktor closes his eyes and breathes through his nose as he counts to three to keep his emotions at bay. The sudden, blazing, rush of fury. The undercurrent of longing. The way he loves him, still, quiet and ridden with regret. When he opens them, Jayce sighs.

"I'm exhausted, Viktor, and you seem to be too."

"When haven't I be," he says, and Jayce shakes his head.

"I should have told you then, you know? That I loved you. When you...when everything happened. I might have done things differently."

It takes a beat for Viktor to understand what Jayce has said, and once he does he gets the sudden urge to punch him. He doesn't, but he's angry. Bitter. Can't fully believe what Jayce has said. Can't fully believe that it would have changed anything.

"You might have done things in the exact same way," he answers, and Jayce's smile is genuine then.

"Maybe. Who am I to say. All I know is that hating you is vexing, and I can't do it. Even Blitzcrank could tell that I couldn't. And I'm over it, I'm beyond trying to."

"My hatred is genuine," Viktor can only answer with the truth, and the second Jayce opens his mouth to talk he rises a hand, remembering Blitzcrank's words at the mention of it. "And I did love you, I somehow still do. Not in the same way, never in the same way. But admitting it could be what's best for me. Denying it hasn't done any good."

They stand in front of each other in silence. Jayce won't stop looking at Viktor's eyes as if they're a lifeline and he were drowning. There's desperation, Viktor can see. Muted and buried deep. A plea that Viktor isn't sure he can answer to.

"What now," Jayce says, and Viktor is as lost as he's ever been. There's too much to talk about to get it over with in the wee hours of the morning. There are too many emotions tangled together in regards to Jayce to make peace with them in a day. So he doesn't know, and he can't answer. "I know that look. It's okay. I just...I needed you to know. It was important that you knew. I was too stupid to say it then, might as well do it now."

"Why now."

Viktor knows that Jayce will understand that he means it both literally and figuratively. Why then, in that very moment. Why then, after twenty years. Why after they've fought. Why when things seem too bad to fix. Why when they don't know how to exist together in a way that isn't full of regrets, contempt and sadness.

"Because it has changed, and it has changed me, but it holds the same truth now as it did twenty years ago. What's different is me."

Jayce bends down and puts Viktor's mask on his hand as he stands, closes his own finger's around Viktor's wrist loosely. Viktor stares down at him in wonder.

"I am different, too."

"Yes," Jayce sighs, squeezes his wrist once and drops it. Viktor feels the absence of that touch like he's never felt it before. "Guess I'll let you go, for now."

'For now' sounds like a promise and Viktor despises himself for harboring hope, yet what else can he do if he wants to at least attempt to be good to himself. He'll have that, at least, and he'll reach out to Jayce and drag his organic fingers across his cheek and tuck a strand of hair behind his ear before he loses his nerve. Jayce closes his eyes to the touch, opens them only once Viktor's clasped his mask back on.

"I'm sorry," Jayce says, and Viktor would cry if he were alone. He has waited so long to hear him say that. What's the price he's going to have to pay for getting this? "We'll talk about this, okay? I really needed to...tell you. I had to."

"I understand," because he does. He's intimately familiar with the way emotions can become too big for his own skin and try to burst out of him without his control. It makes him weak. "I do."

Jayce nods, takes a deep breath, and pats his metallic hand once before stepping back.

Neither of them says goodbye. Viktor doesn't think they can stand it. He knows he can't.

He turns on his heel and walks away feeling Jayce's eyes following him until he's out of sight.

#league of legends #fic #jayceviktor #jayvik #jayce #viktor the machine herald #haha yes

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