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#like its so magical you guys! how many people can say a knight sold them a sword? its the best
sweater-equestrian · 2 years
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god ren faire takes so much out of me (as in, it gave me a stress migraine by the end of the day and i am now very sore and tired the day after), but it is The Best. I am still so hyped about being sold a sword BY A KNIGHT last year. Like, are you kidding????
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demonfox38 · 2 years
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Completed - Tales of Vesperia
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World, hard. TItty, soft. Even man titty.
So, life can be a bummer sometimes. Not even in an outwardly splashy way, like with disasters and death. It’s just…well. Nostalgia. A bittersweet twinge of pain from time passing.
I was visiting my sixty-year-old parents, sitting in the living room they have had since 1993, left the only human conscious as they napped from enduring a long, exhausting work week. My entertainment was either what I could get on my mobile phone or what I had packed with my Nintendo Switch. One of the games I had on hand was the Definitive Edition of “Tales of Vesperia.” It was a game I had fond memories of—a game I had purchased for a university buddy who was getting married within a few weeks. I hadn’t touched it since 2010—certainly, not the fancy new version. I figured, what the hell? Why not give it a replay?
“Tales of Vesperia” is one of Namco’s Tales action-styled RPGs, as the name suggests. Originally released in 2008, it was notorious at the time for being one of the few games that actually could get the xBox 360 sold out in Japan. Granted, it wasn’t released in the best shape initially, having many pieces of cut content (including an entire damn character they didn’t have the time to work in) and some fun bugs that could break the game in multiple ways. Like with “Tales of Symphonia,” “Tales of Vesperia” was later reworked for the Playstation 3, re-releasing with the Definitive Edition years later to several consoles, Steam, and probably a couple of toaster ovens. Not sure if they too will lock up if you abuse particle effects, but hey. Anything’s possible!
This particular iteration deals with the world of Terca Lumireis and its subfactions—particularly, an empire and a conglomerate of independent groups called the Guild Union. The characters scurrying atop this world are living in the aftermath of a Great War which almost completely wiped out a magical species called the Entelexeia (pronounced en-till-eh-kay-uh, FYI). Whatever’s left of humanity lives within cities protected by magical stones called Blastia, which consume a crude form of magic called Aer to function. Also, the emperor’s dead, nobody knows who is taking over what’s left of the empire, and the magic sword that would pick the empire’s ruler is gone.
Okay. Got your vocab all written down?
Into this setting, you are handed the main character of Yuri Lowell, a sardonic drop-out ex-knight who enjoys all too well taking justice into his own hands (and dunking people into rivers when they get in his way.) Initially motivated to fix a plumbing problem, of all things, he ends up getting jailed several times, rescuing a princess, chopping his way back through half of the globe to get a magic rock back, then escalates shit a bit by killing twisted bureaucrats when imperial law fails to hold them accountable. And yes—this eventually extends to the head of the knights too, because this is an RPG, after all. Then, when that’s not enough, he and his buddies get together to fix the ultimate plumbing problem of their planet by not only changing how magic is used, but by recreating the summon spirit ecosystem seen by default in other Tales RPGs.
Honestly? Best Tales lead protagonist.
Like, I’ve got other favorite Tales characters. (I have a weakness for…let’s say, a particularly regal man.) But, in terms of the lead character that the game expects you to play by default? Best one of the franchise. The dude’s not book-smart—frankly, he might have low-grade ADHD—but he is both insightful and willing to get shit done. He not only figures out other people’s secrets within milliseconds of meeting them, but is willing to keep cover for them, even when it puts him at odds with other party members. He also gets his hands really, really goddamn dirty, especially when no one else can or wants to. Dude helps someone commit seppuku. Like, someone he respected. Also? He cooks pretty well, too. And then, there’s the open shirt situation. Guy’s a champ.  
Really, this is a solid set of characters and locations, all around. If I praise “Tales of Symphonia” more than this game, it’s because “Symphonia” caused a change of character within myself. Frankly, “Vesperia” aged better than it had any right to. Like, all of the corrupt politicians and bum knights are supposed to be over-exaggerated in their evil and/or incompetence, right? Fuck. I survived/am surviving a global pandemic, U.S. president #45, a regressive Supreme Court, and several economic collapses. A dude feeding kids to monsters might be more than our reality can emulate. But, hey. How far off is that from separating migrant kids and putting them into camps? Nobody’s just using rattlesnakes or mountain lions to torment them. Just dudes with guns.
Yeah, I know. Ha, ha, video games! They aren’t real or reflective of reality, right? It’s just really hard not to throw a copy of FF7 like a shuriken into the head of the brilliant executive that decided Square needed to focus on crypto blockchain bullshit. Know what I mean?
The best RPG players are just a talking tree and a magic sword away from going full tilt.
Right! Swords. Gameplay. “Tales of Vesperia”, like its kin, is a fighting game built into the engine of an RPG. While there are healers and mages, it’s assumed that a human player is going to want to take combat sharply/bluntly by force, chaining moves together to make flashy, effective combos. All of the available characters in this game are built in such a way that someone could go full melee, if they wanted. Yes—even the main party healer, who packed her own sword and shield. The average Tales player is likely to stick with Yuri, but switching to maining Repede (Dog! Dog! Playable Dog! Good boy!), Flynn (Cress standard build), or Judith (aerial combo enthusiast) is also feasible. Your A.I. buddies are likely to be Estelle (healer), Rita (mage), Raven (ranged whatever unit), Patty (manic pixie whatever unit), or Karol (slow fighter), but hey. The dude I bought this game for really liked Rita. That, and hard-locking his xBox 360 by spamming spells.
Word of warning—this game does commit the grand Action RPG sin of locking you into a boss fight with the slowest character available. (See also: “Rogue Galaxy.”)  Even if you don’t like Karol, you might want to do a little prep work on him.
Like “Tales of Symphonia”’s exsphere system, “Tales of Vesperia” has its own skill system that controls a character’s abilities and statistics. Instead of sponging off magic rocks, the game grants skills based on using weapons enough to make a bar go ding. This also includes elemental modifiers to change your artes (and yes, I do want to call them techs! I am that old and busted!), which can be permanently learned by spamming their base moves either 50 or 100 times (spells vs. melee.) To offset the outrageous cost of weapons/armor and maximize equipment manufacturing, the game also has a crafting system to make items cheaper using crap picked up in battle. And trust me—you’re gonna need a fair amount of this extra crap. (Or, when in need, you can always hock the extra crafting materials for 100 gald a pop. Weird that it's a flat rate, considering the intrinsic value difference between pelts, ore, insect gunk, and gemstones, but okay.)  
You know what the batshit thing about this weapon focus is? Weapon strength in this game is literally inconsequential!
How can this be? Well, the game added a system called Fatal Strikes that allows a player to instantly kill (or highly damage) an enemy once an internal combo bar has been depleted. This breaks down into three different colors, of which each monster has different levels of resistance (red, green, and blue.) Use the right moves, drain a color bar, and then squeeze a trigger to do ‘em in! Bonuses and grade are granted upon their use, so if you are a combo pro, you may want to switch on the Minimum Damage skill and farm this system for all it is worth. It feels weird, but it can be rewarding, particularly if you plan on doing a New Game+ run.
Recipes are still around as well, with a nice little deviation. With this game, certain characters will modify certain recipes to create whole new meals! It’s cool, particularly when you see how one character’s modification can be used by another person to make a completely new dish. Like, one chain goes Sandwich -> Rice Ball -> Beef Bowl -> Pork Stew -> Japanese Stew -> Sukiyaki. Wild! Though, pro-tip: all Repede makes is dog food. And you know what? Yuri’s okay with that. Dude’s totally gone home drunk and eaten some Purina is what I’m saying.
Titles are still present, as well as costumes. Hell, the Definitive Edition throws you a bunch for free. The big controversy around this back in 2008 was that several of the titles could be purchased in DLC kits to skip the events necessary to trigger them. Honestly? I was okay with this. You could still earn the titles in game via certain events or minigames. It’s when they were taken out completely in later games as DLC exclusives that I started having problems.
Oh. Best get a spoiler-free guide for this game. There’s definitely some Guide Dang It! threads here.
As for changes from the default game? Honestly, the only thing I was 100% pleased with was including Flynn as a playable character for…well, more than a handful of battles. Granted, it’s not until the end game before you can run with him entirely as you please, but the game does try to give you a few opportunities to use him in each act. (I didn’t get the opportunity to hit up the bonus dungeon tacked onto this port post playthrough, but I figured I could talk about this game well enough without that.) There are a lot of improperly balanced audio files in the English tracks, which is a bummer on otherwise pretty solid voice acting. (The “Tales of Symphonia” Playstation 3 ports had a similar issue. Guessing that someone wasn’t checking the volume balance and left everything too quiet.) Probably the biggest disappointment is Patty, the character that was undeveloped and dropped from the xBox 360 release. It’s one of those situations where her backstory is cooler than she is. We could have had a rough, bitter middle-aged pirate queen, but ya know. Market trends demand little girls hitting on adult characters, so boop goes a plot spoiler. Hooray. (Although, I do love that Yuri drops her flat on her ass every time she tries this.)
Man, the balls on this game to pull a Samus three times!
Having said that, I think this game has aged significantly well. Better than the rest of the planet, anyway. Its systems are complex and smooth, and its audio/visual elements remain strong. (Frankly, Yuri’s hair animation is perfect. It’s not focusing on every little thread from his head. Just a little polygon sway! All that’s needed, particularly with this art style.) There are probably a few translation elements that may have been handled differently now, but it’s all good and clear. Maybe heavy on the vocab, but hell. I’m not giving you a quiz.
If you felt the need to play “Tales of Symphonia” after my rattling about that game, check out “Tales of Vesperia” as well. There are a lot of elements here that I think outshine “Symphonia” and Tales RPGs that followed “Vesperia”. At the very least, it is equal parts slick and in-depth when it comes to fighting and its systems. “Vesperia” doesn’t have the same nostalgia sting as “Symphonia” does, but a good game’s a good game, you know? At the very least, maybe watch for a Steam sale on this one (although, apparently some people have controller issues with it, so mind the gap.)
Yes, I did use the Switch controller shaped like a Gamecube controller for this one. How did you know?
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mst3kproject · 3 years
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Voodoo Island
Leonard Maltin thought this movie was boring, which is, honestly, kind of terrifying.  Its ostensible star is Boris Karloff, who somehow managed to avoid ever being on MST3K, but it was produced by Howard Koch, the director of Untamed Youth, and was written by Richard Laundau, who did the same for Lost Continent (uhoh).  It’s also got Jean Engstrom from The Space Children, and if the voice of the radio operator sounds familiar that’s because it’s 🎶 Adam Weeeeeest.
A hotel company wants to build a resort on a tropical island, but the scouting party they sent never came back – except for one guy, Mitchell, who has been reduced to a catatonic state by whatever it was he saw there.  Worried, the hotelier sends renowned skeptic Mr. Knight to find out if it’s true that the island is under some kind of voodoo curse.  After much wasting of the audience’s time, Knight’s party reaches the island and finds it infested with man-eating plants, coconut crabs, and unfriendly natives.  I wish I could tell you more of the plot, but that’s basically all there is.
Voodoo Island is unusual as bad movies go, in that you don’t actually realize how bad it is until it’s over.  Things that seem to be the plot move merrily along, always feeling like it’s building up to something cool… and then at the last moment it just deflates like a gas station tube man with his fan turned off.  In hindsight, the audience realizes that very little of what they just saw had anything to do with what was supposedly going on. In many ways, you never do find out what was going on at all!
The middle section of this movie is not quite as obviously padded as Lost Continent with its endless rock climbing, but almost all of it is, retrospectively, pointless.  On the first leg of their journey to the island, the party’s plane is caught in a storm and forced to make an emergency landing – only to find that the weather has mysteriously cleared right up!  After repairing their radio they set off again, and nothing much comes of the incident.  They stop on another island where they have trouble hiring a boat, and where somebody puts a curse of some sort on them.  Nothing comes of this.  Later still, their boat stalls out and refuses to start again, even after they’ve cleared a blocked fuel line.  This has no real consequences, because the tide carries them in anyway, and the movie never deals with what happens when they try to leave the island again.
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Along for the ride is Mitchell, the guy who was so terrified by what he saw on the island that he hasn’t moved or spoken since. He has a couple of medical emergencies that resolve themselves without long-term consequences, and then simply drops dead before they ever reach the island.  They don’t learn anything from him or his condition.  A similar fate later befalls another character, Finch, but this time the movie ends before he has a chance to either die or snap out of it. Mitchell is only in this movie to make it longer, and possibly so it could claim it had a zombie.
With the movie already half-over, we finally reach this mysterious island.  The group are greeted by a trail of clues that make Knight thing somebody is trying to lead them somewhere… perhaps to answers, perhaps to a trap.  Eventually they’re captured by the natives, but there’s no reason they had to be in a particular place for this to happen – the natives have been following them the whole time and could have intervened at any point.  None of this stuff reads as padding because it feels like it’s going to lead to something.  Again, it’s only when the credits unexpectedly start to roll that you realize almost the whole movie was irrelevant.
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Padding is not Voodoo Island’s only problem – the dialogue is awkward at best.  Most of it is on a Revenge of the Sith level, where characters just say exactly what they’re thinking in a way that might have sounded poetic on paper but just doesn’t work out loud.  The boat captain, Gunn, gets a Gunslinger moment in which he narrates his traumatic backstory in a single talking head shot.  Knight is forever going on about Rational Explanations and then suddenly declares his change of heart when confronted with a voodoo doll.  There’s no meat to this arc at all, no sense of Knight questioning his worldview or coming to terms with anything – he just says I do believe! like he’s in a Santa Claus movie and then it’s over.
The worst of both the dialogue and the supposed character arcs occur in the love story.  There are girls in this movie, so of course there has to be a love story, and it’s terrible.  The lady half of this one is Knight’s assistant Miss Adams, who is very poised and professional and doesn’t smoke or drink, and spends the first half of the movie being tutted at by just about everybody.  The other woman in the group, Claire, tells her she could just be so pretty if she’d only change the way she did her hair.  Gunn calls her a ‘machine’ and asks if she even knows how to be a woman.  This raises some hackles in the modern viewer, who wants to see Adams appreciated for what she is rather than what she has the potential to be if she changes everything about herself.
But Voodoo Island was made in the fifties, when changing yourself to please a man was what women aspired to!  Miss Adams therefore swears off being a nerd and kisses Gunn, whose main personality trait is being a stunning asshole.  He’s drunk and bitter, and earlier in the movie he tried to hit on Claire, who had to tell him to fuck off about four times before he got the idea.  Later he insults and threatens Adams because her intelligence makes him feel like less of a man.  Apparently one kiss from her completely undoes his PTSD and he’s a better person now.
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These two getting together also totally dismisses the healthy and supportive friendship Adams has with Knight, who is not only her boss but has some fatherly affection for her.  He praises her work ethic and tells her that she shouldn’t listen to people who think she’s boring.  I guess we’re supposed to think it’s good that she quits working for him so she can run off with a drunk who’s threatened to slap her, because Gunn will make her life more exciting.
At the supposed climax, the natives (an assortment of ethnic-looking extras who never speak) take the group prisoner, and they are brought before the chief (a white guy in dark makeup), who tells them why outsiders aren’t allowed on the island.  The prisoners are taken to a hut where they are tied up.  One of them is possibly murdered by voodoo, and then the chief… just lets the rest of them leave.  No conditions specified, although it’s implied that the islanders have more voodoo dolls and plenty of pins.  We don’t even find out if they actually made it back.  To get to their boat, the party will have to pass back through the carnivorous jungle without a guide, and once they reach the beach, they’ll have to fix their engine.  It really feels like there ought to have been more of a climax, never mind a denouement. As the credits begin, I was just going, “that’s it?”
The actors are mostly mediocre.  Boris Karloff tries really hard to rise above the material but never gets there, which is understandable when his lines are things like, “no, you fool, they’ll slaughter us to bits!”.  All this badness really is a terrible shame, too, because Voodoo Island’s setpiece monsters, the man-eating plants, are actually incredibly cool.  They never look real, but they’re much more creative than the standard giant Venus’ flytrap.  There’s a thing that wraps long bean-like leaves around a swimmer and drowns her, another than catches its victims with a sticky bulbous stem, and yet a third that folds ferny fronds around prey and digests it!  A movie that made proper use of these monsters would be a great time. I hope the prop people went on to the better things they deserved.
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(At the other end of the effects scale are the coconut crabs I mentioned.  These are not actual coconut crabs, but dead specimens of some other, much more gracile species.  This, too, is unfortunate, because coconut crabs are living crustacean nightmares capable of killing and eating seagulls.  One theory about Amelia Earhart’s ultimate fate is that she was devoured by coconut crabs.)
As for Voodoo Island having anything to say… it has some kind of muddled point about not dismissing the supernatural out of hand, but its ‘magic’ is pretty lame, and Knight’s arc is handled so badly that it passes by without making much of an impression.  The story does seem to have another possible theme, though.  As usual I can’t tell if this is intentional or not, but Voodoo Island seems to have something to say about concepts of ownership.
The hotelier has taken an interest in the island because he did an inventory of his properties and discovered he owned it. How he came to do so, we have no idea… it must have been sold to him by somebody else who’d likewise never been there, since the tribal chief tells us that Mitchell and his companions were the first white men to ever go there.  What made that person think they owned it?  Does the concept of ownership even mean anything when you don’t know that you own something?  Does owning something entitle you to destroy it?
The natives own the island in the much less abstract sense that they live there.  The chief tells the party that his people went to this island on purpose, because they thought its nasty flora would keep white people from following them there. They want no part of modern civilization, and seem completely unaware that somebody outside their community is claiming he owns this land.  Whether the idea of ‘owning’ land is even a meaningful one to them, we can’t tell. When the Lenape allowed the Dutch to live on Manhattan Island, they probably had no idea the settlers would consider the land exclusively theirs.
These are some things that still need thinking about in the twenty-first century, and if you’re going to watch Voodoo Island do it for that and for the fun monsters.  Even then, you’re likely to be disappointed.
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deletingpoint · 5 years
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destiel fic recs part 3
Part 1
Part 2
I’ve added heart to the ones i really-really love for perhaps personal reasons, but otherwise these are all beautiful fics and you won’t regret reading them! (same goes for my previous lists obvi :))
<10 k
The Secret Santa of Cubicle Land by followyourenergy  Castiel Novak has never loved the workplace Secret Santa tradition, but he loves watching his coworker (and his very straight, secret crush) Dean Winchester’s enthusiastic responses to his daily gifts. Dean is so enthusiastic that he declares he’s going to ask his Secret Santa on a date.
Dry in the Downpour by almaasi  Dean was in half a mind – nay, three-quarters of a mind – just to turn back, go home, make coffee, call in sick and watch wrestling and porn all day, when the rain stopped abruptly.
He glanced around in surprise, then looked up.
An umbrella. Someone had put an umbrella over him.
Adagio by noangelsinthegarrison 
<3 “His name’s Dean," Cas sighs, "And he’s really stupidly attractive, and when he dances, he feels it, you know? And it makes me feel like I know him, even though I don’t. He makes me feel like… like he’s dancing just for me.”Gabriel rolls his eyes, “Wow, you’re over-dramatic when you’re horny.”
He Thought He Was Reckless by MajorEnglishEsquire  Cas settles back and rolls his head on the seat. Tugs on the corner of Dean’s jacket.
Sits there. Pathetic-looking and unnecessarily bleeding.
(a.k.a.: Dean is a super Soft Boy.)
The Age-long Rivalry Between Pilots and Engineers by Winglesss <3 Living on a space station isn´t easy. Especially when you share your quarters with someone like Castiel Novak. 
Irresistible by raths_kitten
<3 Castiel is a lonely wizard longing for a familiar to bond with. Dean just really wants a taste of this pie that’s luring him in somehow. 
so this is the miracle by deanniker He doesn't believe in magic, or fairytales, or happy endings. If someone were to ask his opinion, he'd say that the ball is nothing more than a clever stunt, something meant to drum up popular support for the new king, that would inevitably come to naught when he married some foreign princess.
No one asks him his opinion, of course.
10-50 k
A Brief Glimpse by cloudyjenn  Castiel is utterly convinced he can't love anyone, but Sam, so when a strange occurrence at a carnival shows him otherwise, he doesn't know what to do. 
Unholy Ground by teacass (Fushigi)  “And I’m not a vandal,” the man shoots back. “My name’s Dean. And I think there’s been a misunderstanding—”
“No,” Castiel hisses. “I have watched you. I have seen you creep around with your shovel and your gun and I have seen you trying to desecrate the graves, my graves, so do not talk to me about a misunderstanding—” Dean holds his hands up and shakes his head. “Shit, man, I swear I’m not trying to—” Castiel has had enough, though, so he flicks his wrist and pushes Dean over one of the tombstones and down to the ground. Dean falls with a grunt and tries to stand up quickly, but Castiel keeps him pinned to the ground with a raise of his eyebrow. “I am the guardian of this cemetery,” he states when he stops and looks down on the struggling man. “I will not be made a fool of, especially not by someone like you.” 
Chili Peppers by justanothersong for literaryoblivion  Dr. Winchester hears an off hand comment from one of his students and find himself browsing a website dedicated to rating university professors. He's not surprised by his rating -- but is a little miffed to see the department chair has an even better one. Clearly, something needs to be done about this. 
The Choice by RedheadedSuperhero  To solidify the alliance between the Houses of Veenah and Winchester, Castiel agrees to marry one of Lord John’s sons. It’s not like he has any say in that matter anyway – as a marriage of convenience is the fate of almost any royal omega. He is even grateful that the king of Winchester had offered him to make his own choice between his three children. From all he had heard, Castiel already likes the scholar Samuel from afar; he certainly prefers him to the infamous Demon Knight or Adam, who is hardly more than a pup. So, he believes his decision is already made as he travels towards his new home.
But unfortunately, things go horribly wrong, and Castiel finds himself alone in an unclaimed forest, with only a strange hunter to help him find his way the castle of Winchester. And by the time he arrives, he might have already changed his mind.
Don't Be So Charming by PieDarling  - Very loosely based on the movie “Prince Charming” -
Prince Dean was always meant to be fortunate, all the fairies and witches in the kingdom of his father would shower him with gifts. However, one of them had a deep darkness in her heart and out of selfishness cursed him instead, condemning him to have everyone fall under his charm and never know true love. His only hope is to break the curse before his 21st birthday.
At first, Dean is lost. How can he fall in love when everyone he meets falls under his charm? He finds hope in a magic coin his mother left him and in search of that hope he sets out on a journey with his childhood friend, Castiel, as his companion. Castiel is the only person Dean has ever met to not be affected by his curse, he trusts him more than anyone else.
Manifest Destiny by KreweOfImp  The year is 1899. The Wild West is in its dying days—but don’t tell that to the outlaws of Eastern Kansas. The gangs are Winchester and Novak, and the feud is bitter and blood-soaked.
The families were friendly once upon on a time, but that time is long gone, and when Michael Novak, the second-in-command to the Novaks, sees the opportunity to have Dean, golden boy and heir apparent to the Winchester gang at his mercy, he takes it. They have history, Michael and Dean, and he’s been waiting on this opportunity for a long time.
What Michael didn’t bank on was that his cousin Castiel, the Novak gang’s resident scapegoat and outcast, would have some sympathy for the prisoner—let alone start to like him.
Eyes Like Knives by jennyfly for palominopup  When rockstar Dean Winchester comes home to Austin to play a stop on his sold-out tour, he's surprised after the encore by a hot cop barging backstage to deliver some awful news. Not only is Detective Castiel Novak the bearer of bad news, but he also wants to question Dean's estranged brother, Sam. Can a frantic police investigation over the course of a single weekend result in a lasting romance? Hey, this is fanfiction; why not? 
Knocking on Heaven's Door by sir_kingsley  Dean Winchester left Castiel Novak in pieces when he broke off their engagement 21 days before they were supposed to get married. Now, a year later, Castiel has put himself back together and is moving on with his life and he seems to be doing okay. Until Dean comes knocking on his door at ass-o'clock in the morning. Now Cas must come to terms with the mess of a man who broke his heart but somehow still... has it. 
Shadow and Storm by zaphodsgirl  One night, a mysterious visitor appears in young Prince Dean's bedroom, and he suddenly finds himself transported to an abandoned replica of his home in an unknown land. He learns quickly that the borders are finite, and none may leave without incurring the wrath of the guardian: a dragon the people call Storm.
Left with no choice, Dean adapts to life as the others have, tending to the animals and working the land to survive. As he grows up, the life he knew as a prince seems more and more distant, until a new person arrives that he remembers from his childhood. Shaken by this arrival, Dean’s desire to escape returns anew, and he discovers more than he wanted to know about the Shadowlands and its occupants -- especially about the mysterious guardian of the castle, Castiel.
Such Familiar Magic by saltnhalo  When solitary witch Castiel finds an injured dog unconscious in his garden, he takes it in. He's expecting to heal it, look after it for a few days, then perhaps return it to its owners.
He's not expecting it to be one of the strongest familiars he's ever met.
The Greatest International Love Story the World Has Ever Seen by MalMuses  Dean wasn’t the type of person who did this kind of thing. He just wasn’t. GISH?? Ugh. The whole thing was just further proof that Dean would do anything his brother wanted him to do. Why else would he be in a Stormtrooper costume, calling up his ex-girlfriend for a private yoga class? Had he been stuck in a rut that long? Given that he’d been pining for the same freakin’ guy, his professor and coworker no less, for three long years… maybe.
Cas was definitely the type of person who did this kind of thing, not that many people knew that. He was one of the most well-respected professors at KSU. His students and coworkers didn’t need to know that he was captain of a GISH team, or that he knitted kinky accessories and made art with his online friends. His TA certainly didn’t need to know either. Just professionalism, of course. Nothing at all to do with the failed attempt at a relationship, three years of pining, and frequent inappropriate daydreams.
A two-person love triangle with online friendships, costumes, and a lot of glitter.
Scintilla by WinchestersRaven  Dean Winchester: ghost hunter extraordinaire! Call now for all your paranormal needs!
He cringes at the flyer. It's tacky and cliche, but Sam insisted it would bring in more customers. And dammit, if he wasn't right--this new case sounds like a doozy.
Dean’s a medium with a unique gift of being an empath. Seeing and speaking with the dead is as normal to him as speaking with his brother, Sam. A new job leads him to Georgia, Castiel Novak, and a historical home that’s tucked away on a mountain. As he investigates, he not only uncovers the secrets of his client’s family but also one of his own that he may not recover from. One that has the potential to destroy the budding relationship that is quickly forming between him and Castiel. Will they make it through to see the light on the other side? Or will the darkness that surrounds the home claim them as its next victims?
If At First You Don't Succeed (Destroy All Evidence That You Ever Tried) byjustkeeponwriting “Three days, Cas,” Dean groaned. “You’re not going to call her tomorrow and scare her off, like you always do! Or worse, tonight! That has ‘creeper’ written all over it.”Or, the one where Dean pretends to be a woman who likes to text Cas in order to teach him a lesson, and finds that he’s way in over his head. (Inspired by How I Met Your Mother's episode 4x21, "The Three Days Rule".)
Pineapple on Pizza by HigherMagic In a world where everyone is colorblind until meeting their soulmate, Castiel suddenly sees color during one of his concerts.
Lois Lane Never Had it So Hard by FunnyWings <3 It started with the most humiliating picture of Dean Winchester's life and just snowballed from there.When a sinister new big bad moves into Lawrence Kansas, will the local heroes (and maybe a few villains) be able to band together and save their home?
Get a Whiff of This by bendingsignpost <3 When no good deed goes unpunished, Dean ends up sentenced to community service for physically defending another Omega at his job. That is, at his former job. It's all a steaming pile of shit, and that's exactly what he has to clean up at the joint animal shelter and clinic he's been assigned to.With a face full of allergies and a horrific mood, all Dean has to do is get through six weeks of this sinus-assaulting torture. That's not so easy with a smartass Alpha receptionist, but at least the weird Beta vet might just end up being kinda cool.
Dean Winchester is Not Afraid of Ghosts by Desirae When photographer Dean Winchester is not capturing momentous occasions like weddings and graduations with his Nikon, he is moonlighting as the cameraman for the South Shore Paranormal; a ghost hunting series on YouTube, headed by his brother Sam, and Sam's best friend Gabriel.Despite his brother's adamance, Dean Winchester does not believe in ghosts. And no one is going to change his mind. Certainly not a scam artist like Castiel Novak. Castiel is a self-proclaimed medium... and Gabriel's brother. When a member of the SSP team has to leave the crew, Castiel is the replacement, much to Dean's dismay. But the more they work together, the more Dean is drawn to Castiel, the man stirring up protective instincts usually only reserved for family.What happens when Dean realizes that Castiel is not the fake he always thought he was, but instead, a generous soul that Dean is rapidly falling in love with?
Looking For Group by athaclena  Dean Winchester is in love with his best friend, a man he has never met, who goes by the handle AngelofThursday. Problem is, Thursday values his privacy and refuses to meet. Dean buries himself in his work at his bakery Slice of Pi and in computer games, desperately trying to move on from a man he can never have.
James Novak has problems of his own. Trying to cling onto what sense of security he can, he drifts around the city from café to coffee-shop to bar, using their wi-fi to keep his online footprint anonymous. He falls in lust with The Beautiful Man at his favourite coffee-shop, Study/Break, and turns to his best friend The_Michaelsword for advice.
A two-person love triangle for the digital age.
Time Still Exists by starespressos Castiel Novak has dreamed of participating in a theater dancing project forever. When a spot opens at Rowena MacLeod's theater, he jumps right in -- even though it means taking over from someone who has recently passed away. Soon enough, he meets Dean, who spends almost as much time at the theater as Castiel does but refuses to share any details about himself. Castiel is intrigued by him, and not only because Dean is the first person in a long time to treat him with anything less than admiration. As their friendship and the mystery around Dean deepen over time, Castiel’s perception of both himself and the universe is changed forever. 
Falling Through The Ice by athaclena for JupiterJames  Dean's finally retired from the Dallas Stars, and he's back at his original home ice-rink for a publicity stunt for his autobiography. Problem is, he has to do something that terrifies him. Second problem is, he has to do it in front of the man he was best friends with as a kid, until the ice cracked under him and he was left on the wrong side of an increasingly large chasm.
A story about smashing expectations (and some pumpkins), what it means to be brave, and how to follow your heart. Also, smut.
Genie in a Bottle by thepopeisdope
<3 When Dean finds (okay, steals) a bottle containing a strange, glowing blue substance, he does so thinking it's a cool novelty, at best. It didn't exactly cross his mind that the substance might be a living being, let alone a grumpy, sarcastic, perpetually-underdressed genie waiting for a new master. But now that he has a bona fide genie at his disposal, well-what better chance will he have to help things along with Lisa?
Except, things don't always go as expected, relationships are complicated, magic is never the solution, and sometimes the person you want isn't the person you need.
Between the Lines by JhanaMay Environmental rights activist Castiel Novak may not have grown up on the Plains, but he has thrown himself into protecting and conserving South Dakota’s natural treasures as if he was a native. When Dean Winchester, Hollywood’s modern day John Wayne, comes to South Dakota to film his next movie, Cas is more focused on preventing the environmental damage Dean’s movies cause than hoping for a chance to meet him. After Cas makes some negative comments on social media about the actor’s authenticity as a cowboy, he is invited to spend a week alone with the star, roughing it in the wilderness. Cas sets out to prove exactly how fake Dean Winchester really is, but he isn’t expecting to find out that Dean is a troubled man running from a past that is just as difficult as his own.
50-100 k
so bitter and so sweet by superhoney  Dean has known about the family curse ever since it claimed the life of his mother: anyone who dares to love a Winchester is fated to die. When he takes a chance on love and loses his husband Benny, his belief in its power only grows stronger.
Two years later, a late-night phone call from his brother Sam sends both of their lives spinning wildly out of control. Then Officer Cas Novak arrives in town, looking into the disappearance of Sam’s girlfriend Ruby, and starts asking questions Sam and Dean can’t answer. Complicating matters even further, Dean feels an immediate, overwhelming connection to the intense, blue-eyed source of their problems.
Dealing with all the secrets, the lies, and a brother slowly crumbling under the weight of his guilt doesn’t leave much time for romance, but as Cas gets closer to the truth, he also gets closer to Dean.
Will you be my ten inch hero? by NotfunnyDean (IronEyes) When John Winchester kicks Dean out, after he saw him kissing another boy, and Dean sees that Sam has a perfect life at Stanford without him, Dean starts a new life in Santa Cruz. He works at a tiny shop as a cook, has found some friends there, and is overall happy enough. That changes when Castiel comes into his shop and his Co-worker Azara, who has a different man every night, starts flirting with him right in front of Dean. Not that he would be jealous or anything, but there is something about Castiel that makes him weak in the knees. Only that Castiel would never want him back, right?
Reality of Dreams by sternchencas for my sister  Dean Winchester has been living a boring life. At least until his brother is missing, the police think he has something to do with it, and a group of people who call themselves 'Liberi Somniorum' and live in an underground bunker ask him to join them so they can teach him how to use his dreaming abilities. As if that isn't bad enough, the police also took his car and then there's this guy in a trenchcoat who's guarding him, and some dark secret. Dean does his best to convince himself it's a dream. But somehow, sometimes, dreams can be very real, and this time, he just can't wake up. 
Green Corners by rustling_pages
<3 After the death of his son, there is nothing left for Dean other than his garden market. His days are tough, the nights are tougher, but at least there's a reason to get up in the morning. And with the new boom on do-it-yourself garden magic, his business is going okay.
Amidst the passing of time, there is only one thing that distracts him from functioning like a normal human being: Diagonally across the street, in the display window of that traditional Herb and Potion shop, plants are dying in masses.
Storming in to confront the owner goes differently than he imagined, though. Castiel Novak may be the kind of guy who wears old-fashioned mage robes and keeps his shop in sweltering heat, but he's also a talented herbalist, the kindest soul Dean has ever met, and utterly beautiful.
Not that Dean is ready for anything other than friendship.
(Not that Cas doesn’t get sick a bit too often.)
And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets <3 Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen.Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.
Turn the World to Gold by superhoney, teacass (Fushigi)
<3 Just as Dean is starting to get comfortable at his new mining job in Nevada, the site is shaken by the announcement of a six-week visit from a team of consultants hired to make changes to the practices and procedures of the mine. Among that team is Castiel Novak, one of the most coolly infuriating, stuck-up, unfairly attractive men Dean has ever met.
The friction between them comes to a head during an unexpected but scorching hot makeout session at a company picnic, and they soon fall into a pattern of hooking up at the site or after work at Castiel’s hotel. But it’s just sex, or so they keep telling themselves. Castiel is only in Nevada for six weeks. They’ll have their fun, and then it’ll be over. But as those six weeks go by and they gradually get to know each other, both of them find themselves wondering if there might be a chance it could become something more.
Where the Lightning Splits the Sea by thepopeisdope Seattle’s hero never fails to live up to his given nickname. Like an angel, he appears when he’s needed most, a miracle when none is expected; he gets in quick, then gets out quicker, and like the angel he is, he goes off to perform his miracles elsewhere, often without any link between one miracle and the next, aside from the fact that he shows up when someone needs help.That’s how Dean met him, after all. The Angel is the only reason he’s alive.And that’s also why Dean is more than a little bit in love with him.But when the Angel is suddenly defeated, Dean’s world turns on its head. His city is in a vacuum, heroless for the first time in years, and to make Dean’s life even harder, his roommate has turned quiet, withdrawn. Dean doesn’t know what happened to make Cas’ mood swing so drastically, but he wants nothing more than to see him happy again. Dean owes the Angel a debt. Choosing between the two isn’t an easy thing to do.When the Hunter is born, the balance becomes nearly impossible to keep up.
Pining Sickness; Or, Murder With One Stone by athaclena, iraeim New York, 1895. The rigid customs of the old century are beginning to fall away, allowing access to the professions for more people than just Omega men and Alpha women. Dean Winchester, the city’s first Alpha male Detective, uncovers evidence that a mysterious new illness killing mated couples might have its origins is the criminal rather than the medical.Castiel Novak is a respectable Omega doctor who has started to see patients dying cruelly of something he cannot cure or even effectively treat. Approached by the Detective to once again give his medical expertise, he is eager to work towards finding a cause and, he hopes, a cure for the unfortunate sufferers. But both men harbour a secret attraction towards the other, and the quest for the truth will stretch their relationship beyond its limits.A historical murder mystery set against a backdrop of a non-traditional Omegaverse.
Silver and Cold by superhoney The death of a young man in an apparent animal attack brings hunter Cas Novak to the small town of Sydnam, Maine. It doesn’t take long for him to realize he’s tracking a werewolf, but discovering the killer’s identity is no easy task. All signs point towards Dean Winchester, a lonely recluse who lives in the middle of the woods and whose antagonistic behaviour does little to lessen Cas’ suspicions.As the investigation drags on, their mutual distrust gives way to a wary alliance. Cas’ instincts warn him that Dean is hiding something, but as he uncovers the man beneath the mystery, his professional interest becomes far more personal. Praying his faith in Dean isn’t misplaced, Cas races to catch the killer before the next full moon rises and another life is abruptly cut short.
The Horse-King by cloud_wolfbane, opal_bullets  When orphans Sam and Dean Winchester get jobs in Horsetown, they figure that being stable boys is just their lot in life. But when King Metatron takes a peculiar liking to an even more peculiar horse they find themselves in the middle of an intrigue they barely understand, leading to an adventure full of magic and mystery, faith and betrayal, and maybe - if they survive it - love. 
In Some Sacred Place by Hellosaidthemoon, schmerzerling  Dean has cystic fibrosis, a brutal respiratory disease that means he can’t cut it in the life his father chose for him, despite his very best efforts. He also has a give ‘em hell attitude and a dogged crush on his childhood best friend. Castiel has an absent father, a stellar GPA, a comprehensive ten-year plan, and—a lot of reservations about all this. 
Should've Just Asked by Annie D (scaramouche) Despite their age gap and differing social circles, Castiel has struck up a warm friendship with Mary Winchester, a wealthy widowed socialite. When Castiel needs a place to stay, Mary invites him into her house, where there’s loads of spare room. Castiel’s aware that they make an odd pair, but he doesn’t fully realize how things look to outsiders, especially to Mary’s eldest son. All Dean Winchester sees is that his mom has apparently hooked up with a hot young guy (who is totally Dean’s type) and that makes things… weird.
100+ k
The Brave and the Bold by manifestingwings  In a world where dragons reign over the mountains and terror looms in the streets of the city of Lavendel, Dean Winchester never expected his main problem to be a surly thief with eyes like the sea and a rare smile. As Captain of the Guard, he knows he has to arrest him for his crimes, but there may be bigger things at stake… 
Shot Through The Heart by peanutbutterjelly-pie (Aleakim)  As a hunter Dean finds himself more often than not relying on the help of the Men of Letters. Most of the time that's not much of a problem - if it wasn't for Castiel, the smartass bookworm with the piercing blue eyes, the messy hair and the rude attitude.
He's been an annoying thorn in Dean's side since day one - and the hunter doesn't see that change anytime soon!
Everyone's a Critic by Englandwouldfall  The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.
(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).
Dreaming in Digital by Ltleflrt for jupiter_james  Set in a Cyberpunk world where global warming and climate change has driven most of the human population into domed cities, Sam and Dean hunt rogue tech and science experiments gone wrong in the shadows, protecting the lives of those the government doesn't care about anymore. On a trip to the dump to scavenge for valuables Dean finds Castiel, an Angel Industries sex bot, which is worth his weight in credits. But when he turns the sex bot on, he learns that Castiel is sentient.
Artificial Intelligence is illegal, and for good reason, but Cas doesn't put off dangerous vibes. That doesn't stop Sam from researching his creators while Dean's off making friends with the android. If there's someone out there creating a robot army unconstrained by the 3 rules of robotics, Sam's going to make sure the operation is shut down for good.
Castiel just wants to exist. He wants to read and work in the Winchester's greenhouse and have movie nights with Dean. But he also wants to understand. Himself. His unexpected reaction to Dean. What it it means to feel.
A Graced Kingdom by angvlicmish
<3 this is a wip but i can’t not add it!!! Ten years ago, the Northern Continent was at peace, angels and humans living side by side until the human King Winchester of Torrin waged war against the angels in an attempt to wipe them out - an attempt that almost succeeded. However, to this day some angels still remain in hiding and with an unpredictable turn of events one of them finds himself as the personal guard to King Winchester’s firstborn son, Prince Dean. With a strange ability no angel has had before - to hide his own wings - no one knows that they have just let their greatest enemy into the heart of their kingdom.
Alone and struggling to deal with being surrounded by the ones who slaughtered his people, Castiel comes head to head with the Crown Prince. But what he finds within the man is not what he expected and they soon become each other’s only comfort.
Will Dean be the strength Castiel needs to pull through or will he be the weakness that will tear everything to pieces?
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the-bi-lion499 · 5 years
Text
A Story I Kinda Came Up With (Ch1)
Two people are in a cubular room in almost complete darkness. Both people begin to gain consciousness and realize they are both bound to the wall. Struggling against their bonds, they eventually break free and explore the room. Upon realizing they aren’t alone they introduce each other: one says, 
“Hey, who are you?”
The other says,
“I’m Sir Maverik Boleson; a knight from the kingdom of the Triple Battalion. Who are you and how did we get here?”
“I’m Bonya; a merchant from the same kingdom, but I have little idea where we are or how we got here.”
They decided to look around the room and try to learn more. They found a small pedestal in the middle of the room. On it was a note of which it was too dark to read and a vial containing some liquid. After a little thought they decided to try to get out of the door. They tried to open it, but it was locked. However, it was in weak condition so Maverik figured he could probably bust it open. He successfully knocked the door off its hinges and caught it before it hit the ground as to not alert any guards. After the door was open the pairing could see they were now it a narrow tunnel lined with torches and a the end of the tunnel was a sturdy looking wooden door. They decided they would try to go and see if the door was locked and if they could see anyone on the other side. Upon reaching the door they saw two guards with spears, helmets, shields and breast plates. They went to test to see if the door was locked but in doing so alerted the guards to their presence. The guards opened the door and shouted,
“GET BACK TO YOUR CELL”
Maverik having no weapon used his one power he did have, his surprisingly large, intimidatingly, muscular figure and charge at the guards. Surprisingly the guards were driven off by this and they ran down the hall to the right. Maverik and Bonya moved into the room outside the door and pondered what to do next. Maverik remembering his time he spent in castles realized they must be near the armory, barracks, and stables. He figured straight was the armory, left was the barracks and right was the stables. After discussing, they figured they had better go to the armory to defend themselves. Once they arrived in the armory they saw spears, helmets and shields with emblems of a kingdom Maverik recognized as an enemy kingdom to his. Maverick grabbed a shield, helmet, and spear. Bonya only could carry a helmet and a shield. They made their way back to the room that led to the different places and heard many sets of feet approaching from the direction of the barracks. Eight guards appeared. Maverick said,
“Go to the stables, I’ll hold them off”
Bonya started running towards the stables, while Maverik prepared to attack the guards. He lunged with his spear at the nearest guard plunging straight through his chest. The guard fell over; dead. Maverik yanked the spear out and turned to the next guard who he swept the legs out from under and sank his spear into him. The third guard however was prepared and parried Maverik’s strike and stabbed him in the leg. Maverik cried out in pain. Upon hearing a scream of anguish Bonya decided she better head back and see what she could do. Despite being injured Maverik was able to fend off many of the other attacks. One attack however caught him it the ribs and sent him to the floor. Another guard tried an attack and Maverik managed to parry and stab the guard killing him. The guards saw how skilled Maverik was and retreated to get back up. Bonya arrived and saw the state Maverik was in. They knew they couldn’t escape while Maverik was in the condition he was in, so they, despite not knowing what was in it, gave him the liquid in the vial. Luckily, the vial partially healed his wounds enough to let them escape to the stables. They escaped to the stables and attempted to break one of the locks on the stables housing a horse. In attempting to break the lock they broke their shields and helmets. They eventually managed to get a horse out of the stables and rode the horse until they got to the end of the pasture and tried to jump to fence but were unfortunately thrown off the horse and it ran away. 
Noticing a town not too far away, Maverik and Bonya quickly decided to head in that direction. Once they got closer to the town, they saw a nice mysterious looking forest near the town that would be able to hide them from unwanted visitors. Noting the forest, they then entered the town to look for some supplies. When they got into the town, they saw vendors selling practically anything a person could imagine. There were stores selling food, clothes, hardware, and even a store selling magical items and potions. All they had was a vial and the note telling them to meet in square. They decided to go to the square of the town and look for the person who sent the note. There was a lot of hustle and bustle but there was one man standing still and staring at them next to a post. Curious they started moving towards the man. Once the man realized they were moving towards them, he moved away and seemed to disappear. They went to post where he had stood. There was a note stabbed into the post with an ancient and powerful looking knife. The note read Here Tonight. Feeling hungry, they decided to try to buy some food. As they didn’t have any money, they went to a store to try to sell what little they had. They tried to sell the bottle they had. Unsurprisingly, no one wanted to buy the empty bottle. They then realized they could sell the fancy knife that the mysterious man left behind. They briefly considered the possible downsides of selling the knife, but their hungry bellies prevailed. They went to the blacksmith, Ryken. They asked him how much the knife was worth. Ryken said very quickly,
“This knife is worth no more then 7 silver pieces.”
Being very hungry they agreed. As they were leaving they thought they heard Ryken snicker. They immediately went to a separate shop to buy food. Deciding to leave the town to avoid potentially getting caught. They went in the woods. They walked for quite a while before they found a river in a clearing and decided to make it their temporary home. Upon further exploration, they found some berries. They considered eating the berries but ultimately decided it was too dangerous. They ate their food but wanted to get more money. They devised a plan to trick some people into buying a “potion.” They mashed the berries in a liquid and put them into the vial. They then returned to the town. They went to the apothecary shop and went to talk to the shop owner. Bonya said,
“Great Apothecary, we have a strong potion for you if you will buy it from us.”
The Apothecary replied,
“Oh, and what potion is that?”
“THIS,” they showed the apothecary the potion. The apothecary examined the liquid for several seconds before laughing and saying kindly, 
“You think you can fool me? This is clearly just berries you mashed up. Good thing you didn’t eat any though because this is highly poisonous. However it is in fact a key ingredient in many antidotes, so I will buy it from you for 10 silver.”
“Deal”
They said in unison. Maverik and Bonya decided to save the rest of their money. They returned to their clearing and waited until nightfall. Once night came, they preceded into the town square.  Though it was dark they made out the silhouette of a shady figure man. They assumed they were there to meet this Shady Figure Man. They approached him and once they got close enough to him the figure said,
“Good, you made it. Now, if you’ll return my knife, we can begin”
Bonya responded,
“Oh, you wanted the knife back?”
“Of course I wanted it back. Not only is it a family heirloom, but it also contains great power. What did you do with it?”
Bonya responded quietly with,
“Sold it for 7 silver pieces. In our defense we were really hungry.”
“Ugh, ok. Well, get the knife back in the next 2 days and meet me here.”
And just like that, the figure disappeared into the night. Distraught and disheartened, Bonya and Maverik returned to their and decided to wait until morning before attempting to retrieve the knife.
Morning came and they woke. Feeling hungry they ate some of the left over food they had left at their camp. They decided to head back into town and just ask for the knife back. Once they arrived in the town they realized that posted all over the town were pictures of them with text saying “WANTED: BONYA AND MAVERIK- REWARD 10,000 GOLD PIECES- DEAD OR ALIVE” They lowered their gaze so as to not attract the attention of the people milling about the square. They went into the store where they sold the knife and Bonya said,
“HEY, you scammed us. We need our knife back it’s a family heirloom.”
The store owner turned around and said, 
“And why should I care about that. Sellers beware.”
Maverik stepped in and said,
“You have to give it back or ELSE!”
“Do I now,” said the owner, “Or do I just have to call some guards because I’m pretty sure you guys are wanted by the King.”
Before they could do anything, the man yelled,
“GUARDDDDSSS, GUARDDDDSSS!!!”
Bonya and Maverik bolted to the door, but before they could leave 5 guards came in bearing spears, shields. Hoping for the best, Maverik charged the first guard. His knight training kicked and he knocked out the guard and took the guard’s spear. The other 4 guards pulled out swords. The first guard lunged and was caught in the stomach by Maverik spear, but the second guard stabbed Maverik in the leg. Falling to one knee, Maverik bellowed and stabbed the second guard. The third guard stabbed Maverik in the chest send him to the ground in pain. Not knowing what to do Bonya grabbed one of the swords on the ground and managed to fight off the guards for a while before one of the guards stabbed her in the gut. As the guards were about to kill them a knife flew into the head of one of the guards. The Shady Figure Man leapt forward and tackled the guard and pulled the knife out in a fluid roll before throwing the knife at the other guard. Before he could retrieve his knife, the final guard backed him into a corner. Noticing a sword on the ground, The Shady Figure Man flipped a sword into his hands and killed the guard before he could even flinch. The man looked at Maverik and Bonya laying on the ground wounded and said, while picking up his knife,
“You aren’t ready, I will find you when you are”
He disappeared out the door. 
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tumblunni · 7 years
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okay HOLY SHIT
I just remembered that show Gargoyles that I loved as a kid, and I decided to rewatch it, and its SOMEHOW EVEN BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS?? Like holy fuck?? It has one of the best introductions to any show ever! Did I just never see the first episode as a kid, or did all the implications fly over my head when I watched it??
Okay so.. like.. I knew the PREMISE but I didnt expect it all happened in the least expected way! The friggin theme tune tells us that blablabla ancient magical guardian creatures fell under some sort of curse and now they’re revived in modern times, such and such, there you go a one sentence plot. BUT HOW IT HAPPENED HOW it happened oh GOD And like the show starts with a whole hour long flashback to the gargoyles back in olden times?? like thats a really bold move! usually in kids shows theyre like ‘you MUST establish the status quo/episode formula right away’. here we literally only saw two minutes of modern times america. TWO MINUTES! some person we dont know finds some mysterious monster. now lets throw that all away and spend a whole glorious hour establishing how much of an upstanding man that damn monster is, and how the universe treats him like shit. like weirdly enough it raises hype for the modern day episode formula even as it shows none of it?? it makes the audience think ‘WAIT WTF THEYRE NOT EVIL, OH NO WE ALREADY KNOW THE MODERN POLICE IS GONNA ATTACK THEM’ :< And then also we get ANOTHER HOUR AND A HALF of establishing the modern day status quo too?? theyre labelled on dvds and stuff as the first five episodes, but really this was just one big 2 and half hour movie premiere! i wish i could have seen it in its original form back when it first aired, i just remember that it was really hard to catch reruns of the multi part stuff cos toon disney had a lot of airing issues
anyway WHY IS THIS THE MOST AMAZING THING EVER?
okay
OKAY OKAY
Here’s our premise! We start off in some ambiguously set medieval kingdom where everyone dresses like a mashup of vikings and englishmen yet have scottish accents ok seriously thats kinda distracting And we’re introduced to this small castle kingdom that’s protected by mysterious guardian creatures of amazing character design. Like seriously i wish they didnt focus so much on this ‘all the main gargoyles have to look more human’ thing, the comic relief teenagers trio was my favourite and also THE COOL GRANDPA EYEPATCH GARGOYLE ok ok im getting offtopic So in this universe gargoyles are a sentient species of winged noble warrior doods, who just happen to have a problem of turning to stone in sunlight. And they protect these humans but the humans are all assholes who’re like WAH BUT THEY LOOK LIKE CHRISTIAN DEMONS THEY MUST BE EVIL even as theyre like.. mid-being-saved. Absolute dumbasses. And seriously YOU BUILT YOUR CITY ON THE GARGOYLES’S LAND! You should count yourself lucky their leader is Niceman Mc Patience who agreed to a peace treaty instead of kicking your ass. Seriously Goliath you kinda comprimised too much! It really fuckin sucks!! The gargoyles are like.. employed by the humans for no form of pay?? They get literally nothing out of it! Except less room to live in their own home, and constant degredation.
Okay so THE HUMAN CHARACTERS AND THEIR CONSTANT DEGREDATION
We’re introduced to the princess and royal vizier dude when the kindly knight captain is like ‘hey you should say thank you to the gargoyles, not me’, and she’s like HOW DARE YOU LET THE BEASTS INSIDE THE HOUSE! Like seriouslt the gargoyles arent even allowed to be seen by humans?? Theyre supposed to protect them every damn day but also should never speak and never have any form of rights as sentient beings. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DAMAGE, MEDIEVAL DOODS?? So yeah here’s our brief summary of the everyone here: * Fucking asshole princess who acts like you let your dog shit on the floor if you give a friggin sentient being and king of another civilization the basic courtesy of being allowed to STAND INSIDE THE HOUSE * Cliche evil vizier lookin dood who doesnt really have much personality shown yet except being a sycophant to her anti gargoyle shit, and like.. from his character design you totally expect he’s gonna be evil. *shrug* * Niceman mc guardman who treats Goliath like a friend and is being all activist for gargoyle rights amoung the court. But also he’s really low ranking apparantly, and doesnt have any power to affect change. It seems that he’s been treated like shit by these royals for a long time... * One innocent nice kiddo who wants to hug the gargoyles for saving him, but his jerkass mum is all OMG HOW DARE YOU TOUCH HIM HEY EVERYONE YOU SAW THEY TOTALLY ATTACKED US RIGHT Like seriously he just fuckin tries to start a conversation with the younger gargoyles, and is all ‘youre my hero!’ and they have a nice talk that establishes a load of worldbuilding like how gargoyle culture doesnt have any form of names and Goliath only has one cos the humans gave it to him. Screw you, worldbuilding interruption predjudice mom!
Okay so now we have our premise, and we see some mysterious guy in a hood sneaking out of the castle to ally with some raiders who wanna overthrow the country and steal all its riches. Also a minor scene of the teen and kid gargoyle group being sent to their room for 'causing trouble’ even though seriously the humans started it >_> So like.. we all know where this is going, right? Its a pretty big omen when you give us a contrived circumstance for the children to be the only ones who can be safe from this impending catastrophe... And the voice was very gruff and deep so its probably not the princess doing this shit, plus duh she already has all the power so why would she need to stage a coup? Really, the question now is just what vizier man’s motives are for wanting to betray her!
... EXCEPT
This is where the story gets fuckin great, and also where My Soul Is Pained
hey guess who was really the traitor? its.... nice guard man! fffffuck its sooo creepy when the princess is running for help and she’s like HEY THANK GOD YOURE HERE and then he has this big slasher smile and reveals his plan T_T And like.. he’s still.. not really evil?? Nobody here is evil, except the personalityless plot device raider guys who just exist to set up this circumstance. The princess is an ungrateful predjudiced asshole, but she’s beloved by her human subjects and i mean., she never actually does anything evil, she’s just rude and nasty. And the vizier was a complete red herring and actually all his mysterious shit was just him hiding a crush on the princess, so he breaks down when he thinks she’s dead :( And then guard guy also wasnt lying about caring about the gargoyles. he tried to get them to leave so that only the humans would die, but then like.. his ambition overtook that one shred of loyalty he had to his friends. He thought he could get through all this without having to kill them, but when the raider guy insists upon it he ends up agreeing rather than lose his chance at stealing the throne. And then its really slimy how he’s all ‘BUT I DIDNT INTEND THIS ORIGINALLY, ITS ALL RAIDER GUY’S FAULT’ after goliath shows up and cries over the corpses of his family, like seriously what the fuck dude dont try and weasel out of consequences for your actions. But still it feels like he was once a genuinely good guy who just gave in to his selfishness and abandoned his morals?? And i mean its super justified for him to be angry at how he was treated by the princess, and to want to affect change in this society. WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU!! Seriously its so fuckin surprisingly deep to have some guy who’s a fakeout hero in the first damn episode. And some guy who’s a villain just because he stooped to any means necessary to carry out his once-heroic ambitions. Instead of changing society for the sake of the people, he’s sacrificing all the people just to gain the throne, and forgetting why he ever wanted it! SERIOUSLY HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO BE EVEN WORSE THAN ASSHOLE PRINCESS
so yeah then the plot just goes in SO MANY UNEXPECTED DIRECTIONS to get to the same expected conclusion! Instead of just being cursed by the bad guys, the gargoyles were betrayed by the one closest to them, while those bad guys all died innefectually offscreen. And the curse wasnt even an evil act! It happens because of a REALLY COMPLEX GREY MORALITY SITUATION, where the princess and vizier were gonna be sold off for cash, but then because the gargoyles tried to save them the guard guy decided to just execute them instead. So after their triumphant rescue of all the villagers, they find the vizier man sobbing over his dead love, and then he tells them its THEIR FAULT IT HAPPENED. And he doesnt want to live without her, so he makes a really stupid reckless decision and decides to attack the last few living gargoyles. And like RIGHT AFTER he casts the spell on them, he finds out the princess is still alive and its all oh Fuck What The Fuck Have I Done So vizier man tries to undo the curse, but his book of spells got damaged in the fight and (OF COURSE) coincidentally the page about curse lifting is gone. Cue fuckin Everyone Crying. SO FEW EVIL PEOPLE IN THIS STORY SO MANY EVIL ACTS DONE BY THOSE WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE THE HERO like even the vizier and princess realize they were wrong about their anti gargoyle bigotry after they have to see the consequences of it here but its just WAY TOO LATE FOR THAT
and then yo the EVEN MORE UNEXPECTED AND SAD BIT cos our protagonist gargoyle was the only one who didnt get cursed thats unexpected and he basically COMMITS SUICIDE TO BE WITH HIS FAMILY THATS KINDA MORE UNEXPECTED Well its more like a g-rated suicide metaphor?? Everyone thinks the curse will never be broken, so he curses himself too cos he cant live without them. And its really depressing cos even though we know they all eventually get uncursed, so many others just straight up died and also theyll never see their human friends again and also the castle is all destroyed so the fate of the kingdom is really ambiguous too?? we just know that the now-redeemed princess and vizier are gonna do anything they can to protect their citizens and atone for what happened. and they take the last few gargoyle eggs that werent destroyed, and promise to raise them with all of the love and respect they nevr gave poor goliath... and seriously they never say whose children those eggs were but he’s like the only person left who could have given them a proper gargoyle childhood. So like its morally grey that goliath is choosing death together with the people he knows, rather than living and trying to ressurect his dying civilization. i absolutely wouldnt blame him for it though, its not like suicide is an active choice, he wasnt exactly in his right mind at the time! But its just REALLY NICE AND COMPLEX! And raises a lot of questions about what will happen to these new gargoyles who’re raised by humans, how different would they be if goliath and co met them someday? i really hope thats actually a plot thats gonna happen, i cant rememebr ANYTHING about this show lol...
so yeah theres all the FUCKIN COMPLEX DARK MORAL AMBIGUITY IN ANCIENT ENGLANDSCOTLANDGERMANYKINDA and it is AMAZING and it absolutely baffles me how they ahve such great plots when other parts of the writing are kinda awful standard disney cliches?? like seriously they wasted so much screentime on Comic Relief: A Fat Guy Exists. Seriously he just.. exists. They show these really slow and overanimated scenes of him just.. eating things. not even exaggerated or comedic. he ate one pie, lets all make fun of him for twenty minutes but man, no show in the 90s was perfect, lol! this is still pretty damn great! AND VERY EMOTIONAL
oh oh oh and i didnt mention THE OTHER CRYING BIT cos the guard guy gets a cliche disney villain death, the whole accidentally falling off a cliff due to his own actions, so the protagonist isnt morally responsible for killing a man but then what makes it a really unique scene is that THATS NOT THE MORAL STANCE THE SHOW TAKES goliath WANTED to kill that damn man or, at the very least, give him some sort of punishment for what he’d done goliath has a fucking huge despair moment over the fact this villain man died and he wasnt the one who did it “you took everything from me, even my chance at revenge” cue ugly sobbing as this buff ass demon man screams at the heavens and cradles the stone dust that was once his damn wife what the fuck show why are you doing this to me
ITS REALLY GOOD
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dccomicsnews · 7 years
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Stephen Amell is the star of the international smash hit TV show, Arrow. This is the series that launched the DC TV universe, which is now collectively and lovingly known as the Arrowverse, the Flarrowverse (Flash and Arrow) or the Berlantiverse (After Greg Berlanti – executive producer on Arrow, and on all it’s various spin-off shows: The Flash, Vixen, DC’s Legends Of Tomorrow and Supergirl, as well as the forthcoming Constantine Animated Series and Black Lightning.)
Mr. Amell is also an athlete, fitness guru, philanthropist and co-creator of The Heroes & Villains FanFest.
DC Comics News, and our sister site Dark Knight News, were on location, at the Kensington Olympia in London, reporting on the convention’s first foray overseas. Whilst there we were fortunate enough to secure six exclusive one-on-one interviews with some of the cast of Arrow, Legends, Supergirl and Gotham. We also covered many of the excellent Q&A panels.
DCN is now proud to present to you, our readers, some of the highlights from Stephen Amell’s sold out session. You can catch the whole panel on video too. It’s here in print form for those who can’t stream video on the move, and for our readers who may be deaf, or hard of hearing.
For those who may not have seen any, or all of Arrow season five, please be aware that this article contains some huge spoilers. You have been warned.
American Arrow Warrior
Stephen Amell: My goodness! Good morning! Wow! This is, if not the prettiest crowd, also the prettiest venue that we’re ever gonna be in. It’s fantastic!
Moderator: You guys have been fabulous, by the way. This is an amazing first time event, the energy is just… it’s like nothing else. Thank you, London. That says a lot for you guys.
(Massive round of cheers and applause)
American Ninja Warrior – the Red Nose Day… That’s been a long time coming. Talk about that, and what it was actually like to run that course.
SA: So, running the course for (American) Ninja Warrior… if you haven’t seen it, it aired this past week. We raised some money for Red Nose Day, which I know is something that originated here, in the U.K. which is very cool. Running the course… it’s terrifying! All the lights… when you see it, they put everything over water. Walk across a balance beam that’s two inches off the ground, but it’s solid ground underneath you… you’ll zip across it. You won’t even think about it. Do the exact same thing, exact same width, and do it over water… and you panic! Immediately, because you think you’re gonna fall in.
SA:  Ninja Warrior was great! I got pretty far, but after the second obstacle – if you see it – you’ll see me, before the third obstacle, go (touching his right arm, like in pain) like that to my arm. It’s because I thought that I’d torn my bicep off of the bone, on the second obstacle. I couldn’t feel anything from (my shoulder to my forearm). So, all things being considered, it went pretty well!
(Applause)
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Mod: Did you make it as far as you thought you were going to? As far as you thought you were gonna go?
SA: I made it as far as I thought I could go. I was really worried about those blocks that rotate when you run past them. They say, don’t worry if they’re tilted off to the side, or if they’re level. Just hit the middle, and go as fast as you can. Which, again, is a great idea, except for when they’re tilted in a weird way… and they’re over water!
(Laughter)
So, you’ve just got to get over it. Just… charge ahead.
Fan: Which obstacle did you find the most difficult?
SA: The one that I fell on. I saw a guy do it, and how they do it, and what you have a tendency to do – if you’re inexperienced with climbing, and you’re used to utilizing your upper body – you make everything very tense, and you make it all about your arms. When, in actuality, you’re just supposed to hang there. It’s supposed to be your core that helps you sway… which is much easier, because then you’re just basically hanging.
That was obviously difficult. I think I could learn that one… but the most difficult one is those floating blocks, that you have to run across. It’s just like (he crosses himself, like saying a prayer to keep himself safe from injury, then points forward)… and zoooooom!
(Laughter)
Which is, basically what I did. That was definitely the most challenging.
The Magic Of The Arrowverse
Fan: In season four you became the “Magical” Green Arrow. Do you think that was really the greatest thing? You would have thought that they would’ve brought back Constantine, or maybe Zatanna… or someone like that. But they had you as the magical person, to take out Darhk.
SA: Yeah. We tried magic on the show, and you have to try things… We’re gonna try things in season six that maybe are going to work, or they’re not going to work.
I was reading a review about season four – and there were lots of parts from that season that I loved that people didn’t like – and there are parts that I dislike that people enjoy, from every season. That’s all a part of viewing a television show. The reviewer said something that I really respected, he said that the most Arrow part of season four didn’t even happen on Arrow itself, it happened in an episode of Legends of Tomorrow, where they showed the older Oliver. I read that, and I thought… s#!+, he might be right.
I just loved having Neal McDonough on the show – so I thought I’d have him back in a second – but I thought that going back to what we’d cultivated in the earlier seasons was the way to go.
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Arch(ery) Nemesis
Fan: Who is your favorite villain on Arrow?
SA: (After a very long pause, and looking around him) Is Josh (Segarra: Adrian Chase/Prometheus) right behind me?
(Laughter from the crowd)
By the way, just quickly. If we get a chance to come back to London, and we’re in this venue… next year for my panel, you have to just let me just rappel down from my booth.
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I thought that Manu Bennet in season two did a marvelous job. I don’t think of John (Barrowman: Malcom Merlyn) as a villain so much… maybe because I know him. I didn’t really know about reaction videos, and then I ended up on a big deep dive on them – after I had an email telling me I needed to see some – and every person, to a man and to a woman, while watching the final scenes of this season were all like, “Full circle… OMG, full circle. It’s season one!” That really meant a lot. So, I think that the personal element this year, between Oliver and Adrian… that Josh as Prometheus probably fit the very best into a season.
From an iconic standpoint, then it’s certainly Deathstroke.
A very young fan: When I’m older I want to be an actor. What do you suggest I do to become one?
SA: The awesome thing about acting is that you don’t have to wait ’til you’re older… you can do it right now! Do you own a phone with a video camera? Yes? Do you have internet access? Yeah? YOU can be an actor!
(Huge applause)
What I mean by that, is in this day and age there’s nothing that can keep you from practicing, and creating content, and putting yourself out on platforms that allow you to get real time feedback. As long as you can differentiate the positive feedback from the people that are being mean for no reason, then you can start to move in the right direction.
I would then find classes, find movies and television shows that inspire you. Then try to emulate that, and from that experience you’ll start to find your groove.
Smoak And Mirrors
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(At this moment the crowd goes wild, as Emily Bett Rickards – Felicity Smoak herself – walks onto the stage)
Emily Bett Rickards: How does one crash a panel effectively? (Stephen greets her with a huge hug)
Fan: You’ve both done a lot, when it comes to Arrow, Flash and Legends. What’s been your favorite part, over all three series for the two of you?
EBR: I fondly remember when we introduced to the universe The Flash as its own show. That was a big change in where we were going, or at least where we thought we were going. It gave us a new bookmark, a new chapter… whole new novels! It’s been awesome.
SA: I like the quieter moments. Emily and I had a lot of fun shooting the episode where we’re trapped in the bunker.
(Huge applause)
The only part that wasn’t fun, is that we filmed that episode right around the time that I shot American Ninja Warrior
(Cheers from the audience)
Where I badly injured my bicep. I had to keep picking up Emily…
EBR: And I couldn’t help, because I wasn’t supposed to have full use of my legs, so I was just dead weight! (She laughs) And he was injured.
SA: Yeah… It was good, though! That was fun… climbing ladders.
In general I like when we have the quieter moments. We’ve all done action scenes, and Emily’s coordinated the team in the field, and been in the field a thousand times. It’s when you stumble into an episode and you find a three and a half page scene that’s just between two people talking… that’s really exciting. I like that.
Fan: After seeing the musical crossover episode of Flash, would you be interested in doing one of your own in Arrow?
SA: No, no, noooooo… (to Emily) I recently just found out how good a good singer you are!
EBR: Oh, well…
SA: People need to know these things!
Fan: Will you sing for us, a little bit?
SA: You want the musical episode now? You’re pressing your luck!
(Laughter)
You should just Google us singing at Comicon last year… it was a one off.
EBR: Nooo waaayyy…
SA: (To Emily) If you were asked to appear on one of the other shows to do a musical episode, would you do it?
EBR: Yeah! As long as John Barrowman was there, I would do it.
SA: As long as John was there, I’d do it.
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Arrow, The Movie?
Fan: If you made a feature length, big budget episode… who would you like to team up with, who would you like to go up against, and why?
SA: If we were going to do a feature-length film, what I would like to do is… I would actually use every single important character from the history of the show that people thought were really important, I’d like to put them all in a situation where they’d all have to work together, and I would like to put the entirety of the amount of money that we put into an entire season into, like, 98-minutes of screen time and see what happens.
EBR: And Batman!
(Massive round of cheers and applause)
SA: (Nodding and giggling) And Batman… played by Robbie Amell.
EBR: I’ll take it!
SA: It’ll be great.
Mod: Could I have a big hand for Emily? Thanks for crashing in.
EBR: Thanks for having me!
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Amell v Arrow
Fan: Have you ever wanted to slap Oliver in the face, and ask him “What are you doing?!?”
(Huge chorus of approval from the crowd)
SA: I do like playing a character that has flaws, for sure. Flaws are what make us interesting. I haven’t talked with the producers a lot about season six, but one of the things that I did say is that – based off of everything that has happened this year – everything about the introduction of a team, and relying on other people, not just getting yourself into a predicament, and immediately drilling down and saying I’ll handle it by myself… I said Oliver has to have learned that’s not the right way.
If we’re still doing that, after everything that happened this year… people are gonna be, like, he’s never gonna learn and they’re probably gonna change the channel.
(Applause and a roar of approval from the audience, as Robbie Amell takes to the stage)
Amell v Amell
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SA: Oh, my God… Did you hear Batman, and just come to the stage?
(Laughter)
Robbie Amell: I was wondering where everybody went! I was standing at my table and… (Spins around, as if searching for somebody, anybody!) I was wondering if you’ve told anybody what you’re doing on Thursday?
SA: Yes! At long last, Thursday is the first day of principal photography on Code 8 (A highly anticipated sci-fi project starring Stephen and Robbie).
(Robbie raises his arms and the crowd goes wild)
RA: That’s all I’m here for, have a great panel.
SA: Thanks, buddy.
RA: Bye!
Mod: Back to slapping Oliver in the face…
SA: As I was saying that, and everyone started cheering… I’m like, Oh my God, does everyone agree with me that much? That timing made me feel awful for about four seconds.
(Laughter)
I think it’s very important that next year, he learns those lessons. It would be nice to see someone being irrational, and brickheaded, and have Oliver go, “You know…maybe think about this one a little bit, for the following reasons.” I think that would be a more interesting thing to play, going forward with the show.
The Arrow Of Inspiration
Fan: What was your inspiration to be an actor?
SA: Inspiration comes at different times. My inspiration to really get on the path that I (am) on now came after being in Toronto, and being in the business for a good 8/9 years. I hadn’t really had a lot of success, and I’d had a really awful year.
I just started thinking about the things in my life that made me happy. Family was one of them, friends, my dog – Louie – was in there… I kept coming back to acting, and how happy it made me. It’s when I started doing it for those reasons, that a lot of the elements of my career that you guys have seen, and that have brought me to a spot like this… that’s when they started to happen.
Fan: What’s your favorite thing to do in your free time?
(The crowd erupts as Josh Segarra – Prometheus himself – walks up on stage behind Stephen and puts him in a headlock)
SA: He actually was right behind me!
Josh Segarra: He lets me do that to him right now, but in real life he’d kill me. It would be the fastest death ever!
(The audience laughs, and while the moderator helps find a seat for Josh, Stephen goes on to answer the question he’d been asked, before the latest surprise guest appeared)
SA: What’s my favorite thing to do in my free time? What’s your favorite thing to do in your free time?
Fan: I just play sports.
SA: OK! My favorite thing to do, right now with my free time, is to hang out with my family. There’s lots of times where – my daughter’s a champion sleeper – and there are lots of times where I have to leave in the morning before she gets up, and I’m back at night after she goes to bed. So I wanna make sure that I’m spending as much time as I can with them, when I’m free.
(To Josh) What about you? Free time?
Prometheus Unbound
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JS: The same, bro. I’ve got an 8 month old son at home, and he’s a pretty hilarious cat! So when it’s not with him… I watch a lot of professional wrestling.
(Cheers of approval)
We’ve connected on that… I’m a big WWE mark.
Honestly, I’m a… we talked about it right before we got up here – we’re geeks man – so, I read a lot, I like to watch my TV that I enjoy and, just kinda, hang out. I eat a lot of food, eat a looot of food.
Very young fan, in Green Arrow costume: (Who’s) your favorite superhero?
SA: Who’s my favorite superhero? The Flash!
(Laughter, cheers and applause)
(To Josh) What about you?
JS: The Flash.
(More laughter, cheers and applause)
SA: Dumb question: Who’s your favorite superhero?
Fan: The Green Arrow!
(Applause from all round)
SA: Is it? Or did your mom tell you to say the Green Arrow?
Fan: My mummy didn’t.
SA: She didn’t?
Fan’s sister, who is dressed as Rapunzel: No, (he) really is his favorite superhero.
SA: He is? I appreciate that very much. (To the sister) Who’s your favorite superhero?
Fan: Supergirl.
(Cheers)
SA: OK! A more important question; who’s your favorite Disney Princess?
Fan: Rapunzel.
SA: OK… I like Rapunzel too.
Fan: What’s the hardest stunt you’ve had to do on set?
SA: I was saying last night… I don’t know if it was the hardest, but (gesturing to Josh) our day on the boat was exhausting! It was really… We were out on a boat for an incredibly emotional scene, that was very delicate, very tricky, and had so many moving parts to it; everyone was worried about the weather, and I was really worried that we would be so caught up in getting the “Cool” shots, that we would miss the important ones, which are the ones that are right there (drawing a circle with his hand around Josh’s face), and right here! (Doing the same around his own face) That’s what the scene was about.
The last thing that we shot that day, before we lost the sun, was a drone shot of the boat… so, it didn’t require anything from me and Josh. It just required us to be in our positions. It was just gonna show the size and the scope of everything. In between those takes – where we had to stand up – the two of us would just be sitting there, like (hangs his head low, looking exhausted… Josh does the same). It was a hard day.
JS: Let me tell you about this guy (gesturing over to Stephen). Do you guys remember that episode in the cell, where I got to torture him a little bit? This man was shackled to the ground! Those were not fake shackles, they were real shackles. We were in that cell for 12 hours! He would take them off, and you could see the marks on his wrists. It was a pretty cool day, and my respect for this guy grew a whole lot… because those were the days that we knew were really important. Those were the days where we were starting to get into the guts of these guys, where you’re starting to see what they’re made of. Those were some fun days, for sure.
Wrestling with your conscience
Fan: You’ve touched on this one already, a bit. I know, Stephen, that you appeared in WWE, and it was one of the better celebrity appearances (they) had.
JS: It was the best one, bro. It was the best one! The man hopped the ropes, dude! He hopped the ropes… OK?!?
Fan: Is that something we can expect to see ever again? Maybe bringing in someone else? Maybe a bit of a villain?
(All the while, Josh is doing his best Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan impressions. Flexing, pumping up his muscles  and grimacing, and the crowd are loving it.)
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SA: The worst thing that I had to do to Josh this year, had nothing to do with what happened on screen. It had to with with when he couldn’t join me at Wrestlemania. It was so sad.
JS: So sad, man… we’d been planning this for about a year. He’s, like, next year, April 1st/April 2nd, we’re going. Cool, man. Two months out we’re like, two months, we’re gonna go! A month out, oh my gosh… we’re gonna go! Literally, two weeks before, he texts me… “Have you heard?” Did I hear what? He’s, like, “You gotta work on Monday, bro!” I was, like, Nooooo… Man! So then on (the) Tuesday before I get a text from him, with a giant cardboard cut-out of my head. It said “Don’t worry, homey… you’re coming with me!”
(Huge laughs)
That day, every hour on the hour, I got a text from him smiling… my head smiling, and the wrestling. Just all day, tracking the day. “Me” in the front row, my head… and I was, like, getting to meet guys. I had the best time, I met so many wrestlers that day, bro…
(Lots of laughter)
SA: I would love to do something in wrestling again… but I don’t know what that’s gonna be. I think that being with the WWE would be really cool. Cody (Runnels/Rhodes), who I worked with… is doing such great stuff with Ring Of Honor and New Japan. That would be cool. I need to get back in the ring one more time! The first time I was so… the second that I stepped outside of the curtain, all the moisture zapped from my entire mouth! I was so nervous! I was so nervous that I literally forgot to get in the ring!
(Laughter)
Fan: We couldn’t tell.
JS: You wanna know a funny story? So, like I told you, I’m a big WWE fan. I was at that Summerslam, where he had his match with Neville, as a fan. So, I became a big fan of this guy, no lie – because I’ve watched a couple of celebrities trying to get in there and do their thing – and, all of a sudden I see this guy, who fits perfectly in there, and I’m fangirling, you know? My hands above my head and (in a real fangirl voice) “Oh, he’s doing amazing! I’m so proud of him!” (Stephen is cracking up, along with the crowd).
Fast forward, I get to work – the first day – and I met him, and (in a serious business voice) like… hey, good to meet you, “Good to meet you” (back to fangirl voice) So… I saw your wrestling match, man… Oh, it was awesome!
(Big laughs)
SA: That’s really how that went, too.
JS: Legit, man! (Fangirl Josh) And I saw Ninja Turtles! You were so good in that, bro! (Stephen and the crowd are laughing).
Looking To The Future… And The Past
Fan: Can you tell us what the theme for season six is?
SA: The theme of season five was legacy. From what I understand, the theme of season six is family.
Fan: So we’re gonna see William again?
SA: (After a long pause)… Sure.
(Laughter)
Fan: What’s your favorite Flash crossover?
SA: My favorite Flash crossover, was when I appeared in the very first episode, of Flash… for a variety of reasons. It was really cool to say a line like, “Saving people… in a Flash!” You live, as an actor, for that moment. The cooler part about it was that – this was during the second season of Arrow – it was an opportunity for me to go back to do a pilot. To, basically put together the exact same crew to do the pilot of The Flash, and just to think back to that moment, and to be a small part of it happening all over again, for someone else – someone else being Grant (Gustin: Barry Allen/The Flash) – that was really cool. That will always be very special to me.
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Changing The Script
Fan: Stephen, we know that you and Emily do a lot of improv, and (they) did release the script for (episode 20 of season five). In the salmon-ladder scene, how did it go? Because it’s nothing like (what) you shot. Did Emily and you just come up with something better, and everyone just went with it?
SA: No. I always explain this… if you come by table, you will see this really awful drawing of a tree, which I was trying to use as an analogy. The script is like a tree. You don’t want to poke a hole in the tree, but you can add additional stuff around it that they can take, or they can leave.
A lot of things that happen on the show that are ad-libs, are not me creating lines. A lot of times that stuff is written, it’s written like speeches, and not like conversation. I think this is a commonality through all of television and film. Just occasionally it’s honest and truthful to react to something, and they can take that reaction, or they can leave it.
Emily and I just had fun with that scene, and I’m sure that there was a version that was close to exactly what was on the page, and we leave it up to the director, and the editors, and the producers to pick the moments that they like. Sometimes they do, more often than not they don’t, and it more closely resembles what you see on the page.
I like playing red wine, drunk Oliver.
JS: Yeah, that’s a good Oliver. Hey… I’m outta here, I’ll see you guys later.
(The crowd cheers and applauds, as Josh Segarra makes his way away from the stage.)
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Sneak previews
Fan: Do you get to see the completed episode before it airs, and if not, do you watch it at home?
SA: That’s a great question. I watch the network cut; (this) tends to be somewhere in the area of 45 seconds to a minute longer than what you guys see, so that they’ll take a minute out of that. Generally that’s not by taking out a scene, it’s more you sort of pluck the air out of things, where you condense something.
The network cut is the equivalent of… do you remember that trend of people that were taking selfies of themselves first thing in the morning with no makeup on? That’s what the network cut is like. If you like the network cut, you’re gonna love the episode. It’s not color corrected, the sound mix is not done, it has a temporary score in it, and it has temporary visual effects. So you really have to focus in on the performance, and the story, because all the other bells and whistles aren’t there.
I watch that episode. That episode is the proper litmus test of; are the performances on point? Do I like the story? Also, at that point too, if i have a note or I find a glaring omission… I can pass it on.
Mod: Do you find yourself too critical of your own acting, or are you somebody that can look past it?
SA: Yeah, I feel like if I notice a tic, I’ll try to deal with it. It’s mostly… if I’m ever upset about something, it’s mostly that I know – due to the nature of our filming – that even if (the first) take is terrific, we’re probably gonna do two or three. So, occasionally, they pick a take and, selfishly, I wish they would’ve picked another one.
My Name Is Oliver Queen
Fan: Can you do your little speech? You know, from the beginning of the episodes where you say. “My name is Oliver Queen”?
SA: I totally forgot it, I swear to God! I don’t even remember what it was this year. Again, I never watch the episode that airs. I record it in August and then I never think of it again.
Fan: From season one, maybe?
SA: Oh, I can’t remember that one! I tell you what… when the next one comes out I’ll Tweet it. I’ll Tweet that I’ve just done what they call “The saga sell” and I’ll make sure that the next con that I go to someone will ask me, or I’ll have James (the moderator) remember to ask me, we’ll do it and we’ll put it on the internet.
No Man Is An Island
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Fan: We saw in the season finale how everyone seems to have (been) killed off on the island. If something was to happen to Samantha, how do you think Oliver would cope with being a full time dad, being Green Arrow and the mayor of Star City?
SA: That would be a very interesting story, I’ll tell you that much. I think Oliver is more equipped to be a father than maybe he realizes. I hope that he’d do a really good job. That would certainly create an interesting dynamic. It’s too bad that at the end of the season everybody died.
(Nervous laughter from the audience)
Fan: If you could get rid of any (of Oliver’s traits) what would (they) be?
SA: Eye shadow?
(Laughs)
No… Oliver is a very linear thinker. He’s a very task oriented person, and – based on the nature of our show – he doesn’t take a lot of time to stop and relax. In our penultimate episode this year Felicity says to Oliver, “How’s this going for you? Kinda relaxing”… and he’s “It’s torture, it’s awful, I hate it!” It would be nice if he didn’t need conflict, and strife, and adversarial people in his life in order to feel normal. That would be nice.
Variety Is The Spice Of Life
Fan: If you could play anyone other than Oliver in Arrow, who would you play?
SA: Diggle!
(Huge applause)
Look, I’m not telling you how to live your life, and enjoy the show… but if that’s not your answer you should rethink your position! I get why other people may be picking someone else, but… Diggle!
Fan: I know that you and John (Barrowman) are good friends, but what was your favorite scene to play with him?
SA: That’s tough to say. I didn’t have a favorite scene, per-se, to play with John… but, when we were filming in the first season they didn’t even tell me that he was the dark archer. No one told me! When I found out, it corresponded with our ninth episode, which was his reveal, our first big fight, and our first time spending all night shooting together.
It also corresponded with Friday October 12th, when the show premiered for the first time on October 10th. I had so many thoughts, and so many questions, and the premiere had been a success, and John with all of the knowledge that he’d derived from his career, from Doctor Who and from Torchwood, from all the different shows, and from everything that John does… I was just able to pepper him with questions. Just like Josh Segarra peppering me with wrestling questions.
(Laughter)
That was one of, if not the most, valuable nights and experiences I’ve ever had shooting the show.
Fan: Would you ever do a charity campaign along with Emily, so we can have both your faces on a t-shirt, and not just the one?
SA: The only t-shirt that I own with two faces on it is Jared (Padalecki) and Jensen (Ackles: Sam and Dean Winchester, from the CW’s non-superhero hit show Supernatural).
(Massive cheers and applause from the crowd)
I think that would be fun. Teaming up for a charity campaign would be fun. If we found the right cause, and the right time, and the right design… I think that would be great!
Fan: I recently had the experience of going for a drink with my hero. Who would yours be, if you could go for a drink with someone?
SA: Can they be a fictional person?
Fan: Fictional, alive or dead.
SA: I’m gonna go with John McClane! (Bruce Willis’ legendary hero from the Die Hard franchise)
(Huge round of applause)
Seems like he’d be a good guy to have a drink with… as long as he was super pissed off about something. I’d love to hear late eighties, still rated ‘R’ John McClane just bitch about politics, or something. Or just aaarrrggghhh millennials, stuff like that. That’d be great!
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Ladies’ Night
Fan: I have two questions. Of all the girls that Oliver’s been with, who would you choose?
(The crowd erupts with laughter)
SA: It’s Sunday morning, and what do you mean “Been with?”
(More laughs)
Do you mean been with, been with?
Fan: Love interest been with.
SA: Oh! You mean like, had a meal with.
(Even more laughs)
What’s your next question?
(The crowd is now cracking up)
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Fan: If you could be in any of our British programmes, which one would it be?
SA: You mean other than Loose Women? (The UK chat show similar to The View) I was on Loose Women on Friday with John, and I found out about the British term for… never mind.
(The laughter continues)
I would love to be somebody in the original UK version of The Office, which is one of my favorites of all time!
(Appreciative applause)
I’d be like the stupid copy guy who’s from Toronto, who speaks super Canadian. I dunno… That’d be fun.
Fan: Concerning Earth 2 Oliver. Do you think he would have treated Laurel better than Earth 1 Oliver?
SA: I think that everything is different for Oliver if he doesn’t get on the boat. There’s a version there… there’s an Earth where it’s Oliver and Laurel forever. But I think that the Queen’s Gambit, Sara and a variety of other things – almost all his fault – sorry, no that’s wrong – all his fault – made it so that it wasn’t meant to be.
And that’s it! We hope you’ve enjoyed the coverage from London’s first ever Heroes & Villains event. Please, as always, leave us some feedback.
The show will be back in the UK next year, so hopefully your mild-mannered British DC Comics News correspondent will be on hand, to get the low-down.
Until then… take care y’all!
Right On Target – Live In London With Stephen Amell Stephen Amell is the star of the international smash hit TV show, Arrow. This is the series that launched the DC TV universe, which is now collectively and lovingly known as the Arrowverse, the Flarrowverse (
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itdisneymatter · 7 years
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Day 01 - Magic Kingdom
Instead of a summary this time around, I'll try to sum up the day in a few words and sentences with a TLDR (too long; didnt read). Mostly to save me from repeating myself too much but also means you can skip on me droming on about nothing.
So the TLDR for today: Magic Kingdom. Custom t-shirts. Magic Bands. Really worth it. Got a good few rides in and hit 2 out of 3 of the mountains. Went for lunch at Belle's castle. Hot, hot, hot. Seen the 3pm parade. Missed out on a few rides but we'll get them in on a return. Everyone really enjoyed it and kicked the holiday off really well. Didnt hit dinner till late. Caught in a thunderstorm on the way home. Soaked.
And now...
First things first, or is that now second. Anyway,  I may have missed one or two details in my less than awake state which had an impact on todays events. We had planned, all going well, that we would head to Disney Springs (previously Downtown Disney) to get some Magic Bands - a watch-y thing that replaces your park ticket making it easier for Fast Passes and the like. With all the delays and the tiredness of yesterday it just wasnt a thing we were able to do. Ah well, best laid plans and all that. It meant however that we now had to try and pick them up when we hit the park today, pushing out our plans slightly. 
Some of us got personalised t-shirts made up (with our name and a specially selected Disney character), so today was a perfect opportunity to wear them.  We skipped on breakfast, and didnt have any bottled water to make a coffee (normally eek but ok for this morning, strangely). Not too hungry anyway so headed to my mum and dad's hotel to pick them up. They are in the same hotel as my sister, so its really convenient as a meet up point as my brother was picking them up in his car and its between both of our hotels. We were pretty spot on time for it being the first day so off we set for Magic Kingdom.
Parked up and within five minutes we stumbled upon a wee gift shop that sold Magic Bands - woohoo!  They have different colours and design so Ann picked up a nice wee 45th Anniversary Limited edition number. Patrick went for Sorcerers Apprentice (to match his tshirt.) Robert went for Up (to match his tshirt AAAND favourite Disney movie). Grace went for Orange Bird, who is a wee orange bird (funnily enough) who used to appear is old, Disney animations. We picked up a cup one time on the first visit to Disney (in 2013) and that cup had Orange Bird on it, and Grace has had an affinity with the character ever since. I went for Aladdin. Mum and Dad picked some funky coloured bands and we headed off to the park entrance. Spotted some of the other party (the ones in the second car) in their custom t-shirts so sped up to meet them just in time to board the ferry to the Magic Kingdom entrance. Tshirts already coming in handy with finding peeps, so colour matching tees in the way to go for future outings I think! Ferry was lovely and all of the kids were getting really excited.
So me trying to Facebook Live the Magic Kingdom entry was a complete and utter failure. I didnt even know how to start the thing - I should be as ashamed, calling myself a techie. Though I did get slightly reprimanded taking my phone out as they had a no selfie policy at security, prior to going in. He had a gun, so I pretty much did what he said and put my phone away. I fell back on my trusty Go-Pro (that I havent used since last time, but how hard can it be, right?). Video to follow as my laptop is ancient and I can barely run wordpad nevermind a full 1080p video clip. 
Full of smiles we headed in and once we stocked up on some water, a first visit badge for Emily and the others picked up their magic bands, we had 20 minutes to get to to our first fast pass - Splash Mountain in Frontier Land (good job I knew the way :P). Bypassed some rides as well as an opportunity to get Dole Whip (marked down on our initial plans), but we made the ride with 5 minutes to spare - phew!
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Magic Kingdom Mountains 1 & 2... check!
Splash mountain. All of the family (save for my Mum, Alessio and Isabella) hit up the ride and it was AWESOME! Grace was quite panicky so was a little clingy (even though she'd been on it before) but Emily and Corrie both first timers absolutely loved it. And for our efforts, our first family ride photo! :D
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Then we headed to Big Thunder straight after - ended up riding on my jack jones which was arite though as I go pro-ed the whole thing (our party's reactions, not the ride itself). We did also get a video for our memory maker which we have never had before but its a really fantasticly amazing this to have (even if the photographers does make you hold invisible fairies and set you up in a variety of cheesy poses).
On a role, we then hit Haunted Mansion, It's a Small World (GG's personal fave), Mickey's Philharmagic AND Peter Pan all before lunch. Not bad, for running an hour or so later off plan.
Be. Our. Guest!
Due to availability and a LOT of pre-planning, our wee family were the only ones booked in to Be Our Guest today. We said our goodbyes to the rest of the party and after arranging a meet up point and time we set off for a now, very much needed, lunch. We decided on some really nice menu choices, including a monster Grilled Cheese Sandwich and Barbequed Pulled Pork. The guys also got the infamous "Grey Stuff" for dessert, which seemed to be the kids favourite course of the day. However the star of the show for me was the French Onion Soup which was sublimely awesome (I'd eat this every day and I'm really really not a soup guy!).
We caught back up with the rest of the party after lunch just in time for the 3pm parade, which was only listed as a might-do due to time so really impressed we managed it. Time to get the zoom lens out! :D A side note on cameras - last time we were here I opted to take a reasonably good performing compact camera instead of my main SLR, for accessiblity purposes. While it was good, I always missed the feel and added control of my main camera, so this year its the exact opposite - Im gonna be a packhorse. Quality over comfort! The parade was really colourful and with the smaller kiddos were put up on shoulders so they had a perfect view (however I must add, its quite difficult to take quality photos through a 70-200mm lens mounted on a 5D with a flashgun, I'll have you know).
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After cycling through most of the main Disney Princess movies in the Parade (except Frozen, which was kinda dissapointing, mainly as *I* wanted to see Elsa), Mickey and Mickey signed off the show to resounding cheers and waves and applause.
ROARRRRRRR!!!
A little time to go before our last listed Fast Pass of the Day - Seven Dwarves Mine Train, so we queued up for Enchanted Tales With Belle beforehand. The main premise is that kids (and some adults), volunteer to get chosen to reeact a little scene with Belle. For one of the main roles, The Beast, kids must roar their loudest and Grace got chosen! (though I shouldnt really be surposed by that). She was all chuffed and kept saying her and Robert had switched roles from last time with Robert now playing the part of the mighty steed Snaggleforp, or whatever the horses name is (its late and and I'm not going to google Belle's hor..., right fine... its Phillipe). Patrick, Robert, Corrie and Emily were also picked to be part of the show. Even Kevin was picked as a Knight in shining armor - which he played brilliantly (mostly it was about standing still, but still, brilliantly). They all got presented with a little bookmark as a small token, at the end for taking part.
By now, everyone was feeling a little drained so decided after Seven Dwarves that we would head for home and grab a bite to eat. We are going to be back at Magic Kingdom at least one other time when we can prioritize Tomorrowland, so everyone was on board. Seven Dwarves, I ended up on my own again after having lost my little sidekick Gracie (who opted out of the ride). I didn't mind though as I had my Gopro already to go again. I was slotted in on the first seat with a lady, who immediately asked my name and introduced herself (as Martha?... maybe, it was loud and after two attempts of saying 'what' you just need to go along with it). She just started chatting away all through the ride. In fact, just today loads of people just started up full blown convo's with me out of the blue - I mustve been rocking a approachable/chatterbox vibe in my backward facing hat and camera loadout. Those of you who know me, know me as anything but (listen I try, but I'm the first to admit I'm pretty terrible with words and interesting conversation at times). That being said, it was great to chat with so many different people around the world and just goes to show how friendly and amazing this place really is.
A wee cheeky ride on the Speedway for a few folk, a quick tee shirt pic in front of the castle and we headed home.
An absolutely amazing day with Splash mountain being the clear favourite for most of the kids. And although we missed out on a section or two, we still got loads of rides in and everyone was content with general flow how the day. With everyone on the same wavelength I think its gonna make this holiday a really magical one (sorry for the being soppy, Im getting tired, but we're nearly there).
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Thunder and Lightning, very very frightening.
Michael & Sarah-Jane decided to grab some dinner and get an early night so we said our goodbyes for the day. We headed out to the shop after getting back to the hotel to grab so Beers and water (in order of priority obvs), as well as a few other bits and pieces. We then met up with my Mum, Dad, Kev, Pauline and Emily to go for a bite to eat (I just realised I havent formall introduced everyone in the party, Ill get around to that tomorrow, promise). With it being a Saturday most places were pretty packed and after checking out a few places (unsuccessfully), we ended up in Johnny Rockets (which Robert pointed out was where we went the second night the last time after failing to find a place - kids memorys are scary at times). We got seated but the service was SLOOOOOW! I can fault our waitress too much though, she brought me over a freee refill pretty much as soon as I finished my first drink. It instantly reminded me of Steve Buchemi's in that infamous Diner scene at the beginning of  Reservoir Dogs...
Mr. Pink: Look, I ordered coffee, alright? And we been here a long *bleeping* time and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee I want it filled six times.
Ok, so it wasnt six times, it was one time, and it wasnt coffee (mmm coffee, I really shoulda went with coffee now that I think about it), but it was the single good thing about the service and one that warranted the tip even if it didnt meet Mr. Pink's stringent tipping criteria.
I actually haven't had an appetite since those prissy little sammiches on the plane. Even at Belle's castle and I wasnt particulary hungry even when we sat down at Johnny Rockets. But hey, do they mak a mean burger! Opted for a Smokehouse, which included some Bacon-y goodness and crispy onion rings - good stuff and nearly worth the wait, nearly... but then again it was a long wait. So the whole experience was fairly ok but then it took a big huge nose dive to round off the night...
When we left the restaurant,  its was bucketing it down. I know coming from Scotland we should be used to a little rain, but this was torrential, and we got huge flashes & bangs of thunder and lightening thrown in, in good measure. Big Rain as Grace so eloquently put it (shes just brilliant with words). Our hotel was right across the road, which was handy, but we had to leave the other guys to struggle to their hotel which was pretty much a mile away :( 
Ok, I'm delivering this really late and have no time to edit so apologies, I must try harder during the day in future. The images are also taking an age to download, so might not have all the ones I want in by the time this goes up, though Ill try to add more later in maybe a weekly slideshow or something. See you tomorrow for Day 02 - Epcot which will which will likely being unofficially subtitled - Battling The Storm!
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Welcome back to the madhouse.Last time on Hawkins Book Club, we learned that Nichols was personally watched over by God, UFO stealth systems can be foiled by college students, aliens can’t design a functional user interface for shit, the Star Wars galaxy is real, furry aliens exist, there’s an intergalactic empire trying to take over Earth, the majority of alien abductions are actually carried out by the government, a floppy disk can contain enough data to reprogram the human brain, there’s a whole bunch of souls of abused kids just floating around and swapping bodies with each other, the CIA is really bad at assassinations, you can find your destination by bleeding all over a map, you can buy your own isolation tank from a commercial supplier, Eleven was a complete pansy who should have punched out the Demogorgon (according to Moon), UFOs were intentionally designed to look like a 3D vagina, aliens are avid gamers, Nichols lives within driving distance of me and God is a Stranger Things fan.That said, we are now at the 1997 book The Black Sun: Montauk’s Nazi-Tibetan Connection. The Order of the Black Sun, as you may recall, was the magical cult in which high-ranking Nazis tried to time travel by screwing each other in a mass orgy while this guy watched, so prepare yourself.Once again, the Prelude is back, and basically recaps the previous books, but with one addition;“In the wake of all this, Long Island experience the horrible tragedy of TWA Flight 800 where hundreds of individuals died as the result of an unexplained in-flight mishap. Although many theories have been put forward, the media refuses to seriously investigate the most probable cause of the situation;Structural failure?“a particle beam emitted from a Brookhaven Labs facility which activated a nuclear missile.…That works too, I guess. So basically those books is going to be all about those dastardly Nazis.The Introduction finally explains what “Synchronicity” is;“Synchronicity is called the fabric of time because it is the principle by which we recognize or know the phenomenon of time. If different actions are aligned and intercede within one frame of reference, they are said to synchronize… What is not so obvious is that people, places and things can also manifest beyond the laws of probability. Synchronicity, but its very nature, enables us to make associations that we might otherwise pass by.”This is genuinely kind of an interesting idea. Moon then reaffirms that the Nazis will be the focus.Chapter 1 retells the story of how a Nazi U-boat landed at Montauk with significant amount of treasure to bury, and how the crew went on to become barbers in Queens. Prior to that, a significant amount of U-boats were spotted by Montauk residents in the water that the US military never fired upon. Moon concludes that his meant the Nazis had access to Camp Hero through an underground dock. He goes on to talk about the German Bund Nazi supporters that had a large camp right next door to the Brookhaven National Laboratory. Apparently these Nazis also conducted “Bon meetings”, which connected to an ancient Tibetan animistic religion which were closely monitored by the FBI.Chapter 2 begins with a woman named Cindy contacting Nichols and Moon, claiming that her husband worked at Camp Hero. She showed them blueprints of the base’s underground and told them that the base was still being used. Specifically, Cindy’s husband was once of three mechanics working at the Camp… to maintain the lawn mowers. I guess even time-traveling Neo-Nazis want to make sure their grass is perfectly mowed in front of their secret base. Immediately after that conversation, her husband was fired the next day. A bit later, Cindy also told the duo about several Bigfoot sightings around Montauk, which Moon interprets as being another connection to Tibet via the Yeti. Soon after that, Cindy’s father called and revealed the following information;“He can stick his finger into a live electric circuit and feel no shock. An hour later, he could shake someone’s hand and they are liable to receive the shock. I decided to meet the man.”Well, with info like that, who wouldn’t? “Max” then reveals that he was fascinated with UFOs since he was a boy, and in fact literally built his own working flying saucer.“Max claims to have travelled around the United States in his home built UFO with eight women. They would travel the countryside looking for luminous spots on mountains where they hoped to find gold. Some of these spots proved to be false leads, but many precious metals were found, processed and sold for a considerable profit. The money was split between him and the eight women.”….Yeah…..This book…..So because of this, the military hired Max and he was stationed at Camp Hero to serve as a courier. He reveals that the Nazis did indeed visit the base several times. He also states that when a UFO crashed in Amagansett in 1995, the military approached him and asked if he wanted it. When he declined, they took it away themselves. He also attended the Bon meetings, which “were held to tell people what they could say and couldn’t say or tell people what they could and could not do.”“Obviously the people at these meetings were tied into a completely different reality… It sounds like an Aryan race outpost that was halfway between this dimension and another.”Moving on.Chapter 3 kicks off with a discussion of the infamous “Birth of a Nation,” you know the film that portrayed the Ku Klux Klan as the saviors of the white race. Well, this film reveals that founder of the KKK was a man named (big shock) Ben Cameron, and the film was semi-endorsed by President Woodrow Wilson. Moon also states that the Klan’s emblem was identical to a symbol revered by both the Montauketts and Crowley’s gang.“The book I read further stated that the Klan decided to put ‘meaningless occult symbols’ on their garments. This is a whitewash if ever their[sic] was one. One has to wonder if the writer was personally deluded, deliberately misleading or just making up his own mind.”Pot, meet kettle. I’m sure you’ll get along nicely.“The Klan was obviously using magic for its own purposes. The inner meanings were for initiates only.”Obviously. The name synchronicities continue;“All of this took on an even more profound meaning when I received a letter from a woman who said that her mother knew both Ewen Cameron, once the head of the CIA’s MK-Ultra mind control project, and also Alexander Duncan Cameron Sr., the father of the same Duncan Cameron featured in ‘The Montauk Project’.Well, well, we finally have a link between the Montauk Project and MKUltra. So it turns out that my previous hypothesis was incorrect, and in reality Ewen Cameron is Martin Brenner.“Ewen Cameron has been written up in several un-biased books as one of the most evil monsters to inhabit the corridors of the noble profession of psychiatry. His systematic torture of patients through what he called ‘psychic driving’ is well documented. It is well documented. It is a system whereby one’s own words, particularly of a traumatic content, are repeated over and over on a tape loop which plays continuously on a tape recorder. Combined with various forms of mental stress and deprivation, psychic driving is designed to make one totally lose one’s marbles. This aspect of Cameron’s work was done in conjunction with the CIA. Most of it took place at the Allan Memorial Institute in Montreal, Canada, where he employed many former Nazis. The CIA settled out of court with several people who were tortured by Cameron while he was working under the auspices of the agency.”Fascinating, but then the woman who’s giving Moon all of this information drops a massive bombshell on us;“She also told me that her mother had very esoteric understandings about time travel and had mothered a child with Ewen Cameron.”Oh yeah, Season 2 theorists rejoice. You might want to hedge your bets on this side. Moon comes into contact with this woman who is described as lucid, but suffering from PTSD. She reveals the following;“Her birth was carefully planned, and she was considered to be reincarnation of Innana, the Sumerian goddess…. Anna’s family is of pure Aryan lineage and is traceable beyond Germany.”….Okay. So apparently the ancient Sumerian Aryans were “enlightened and positive”, but became corrupt, and infiltrated every secret organization on Earth; the Knights Templar, the Illuminati, the Freemasons and everything else. These people are called “the Controllers”. Cameron was one of these people and believed that she was the incarnation of Innana, whose energy he could harness as power. To guarantee this, the Cameron lineage was kept pure since the beginning of time all in order to establish a New World Order composed of Aryans. He may have also been involved with sending Rudolf Hess traveling through time and met with John F. Kennedy’s parents.“At affairs like these, Ewen would put on a show. Women from various programs would attend to the men’s sexual desires. Ewen would arrange sexual partners and engage in what could perhaps be best described as the perverted occultism of the rich and powerful.”Well, now we know where Jack got the urge to go on his infamous sexual endeavors from.“Anna was personally quite traumatized by her association with Ewen Cameron. Consequently she began to study psychology to understand his pathology. She says he was overtly homophobic but also a latent homosexual. He amused himself by brutalizing young men as well as women. Ewen was well aware that Anna hated him, but he was gleeful about this because he knew no one would ever believe her over him.”Charming. Anna then describes that the intent of these Controllers was to afflict their subjects with Multiple Personality Disorder, with one personality serving as the blank, programmable one and the other acting as a cover.“Studies on MPD show that these individuals have an IQ above the normal range, a great amount of creativity and above average psychic abilities. It is also true that if you split a personality, the pineal gland will activate and the person can become psychic. The element of possession also comes into play as one is prone to pulling in exterior forces when being tortured. These forces will usually manifest as a beast of demon. Once MPD is achieved, further programming can be achieved by what is now known as Stockholm syndrome. This is when a victim bonds with his or her captor or controller.”That explains why the Demogorgon was attracted to Eleven. Anna also participated in out-of-body experiences and time travel as well. She also has scars on her lungs identical to that of Duncan Cameron, and the chapter ends claiming that Ewen Cameron’s death was faked and he worked for a foreign intelligence agency and Hubbard was a goddamn hero for calling him out on his horribleness and of course, lots of sex magick was involved.In Chapter 4… wait a minute.I just realized that Moon completely forgot to actually talk about the child in question. Seriously, he mentioned her (I’m going to assume she’s a girl for obvious reasons) twice and then never spoke of her again, instead electing to focus on her mother and his favorite subject; sex magick. Maybe Chapter 4 will explain this?Eh… not really. It basically states that the Camerons’ genetics give them a greater ability to travel between dimensions. Moon speaks with two Celtic shamans named Cameron who elaborate on this.Chapter 5 talks about the “Kennedy Connection”. A friend of Moon’s named Claudette says that she was raped by a German scientist who was connected to the Nazis in the 1950s, and ended up marrying him due to the social mores against giving birth while unwed. He frequently disappeared when they went to Montauk on vacation. Also;“The most bizarre story she had to tell was this German scientist’s dealings with the late Robert F. Kennedy. She said that while Kennedy was Attorney General, he would sometimes visit their house Queens. He always showed up in a limousine. The driver would wait outside while Booby came in the house. These visits were typified by her husband retrieving LSD sugar cubes from the refrigerator which he and Booby would consume and go ‘tripping’.Ah, the good old days, when the Attorney General could go off to trip out with a Nazi rapist and no one would care. Now it’s all “Russian collaboration” this and “Election hacking” that.Moon then goes off on a bizarre tangent when he claims that JFK Jr. was bisexual. He spends a large amount of writing trying to prove this and comes to the conclusion that the only thing that connects this to the Project is that JFK Jr. rented a house next to Camp Hero. Also;“Arnold Schwarzenegger, the poster boy of Aryan genetics also married into the Kennedy clan. He is the star of ‘Total Recall’, a movie that used a device similar to the Montauk Chair as its main theme. His psychic signature has literally been blasted over America’s air waves by nature of his tremendous stardom.”Uh-huh. I have no idea why Moon is so obsessed with linking Total Recall to Montauk, but let's just move on. Moon then describes how Joseph Kennedy Sr. had pro-Nazi leanings in the 1930s and appointed a Nazi sympathizer named Tyler Kent to manage confidential telegrams between Churchill, Kennedy and Roosevelt. Scotland Yard ultimately arrested Kent when they found that he was hiding telegrams in his apartment and Kennedy disavowed connection to him. Finally, a Scottish genealogy book ended up genetically linking the Kennedys to the Camerons.“This book said that both families trace their roots to the Scottish Isle of Skye, the isle of witches. Perhaps the Kennedy mystique of Camelot is real magick at work and not just a media illusion. All of you know that if JFK Jr. was ever nominated for president, he would be elected on the female vote alone. There is also a frenzy people feel about electing a Kennedy. It is magick.”This book….Chapter 6 discusses the Teutonics. It essentially claims that the Teutonics were involved with Egypt due to similarities between Norse and Egyptian mythology. The Vikings tapped into magical powers via runes as well, and the Nazis continued this belief. This is because the Celtic and German people have a sort of sacredness in their blood. Hitler was able to harness this old pagan power that was suppressed by the “ruling clergy” to convince the country to go to war.Chapter 7 talks about Lion Gardiner. He was a part of the Dutch “House of Orange” and had “royal blood”. In addition, every European king traced back to the Sumerian “gods” (aka aliens) who mated with human women, hence their special bloodline. There’s a brief history about the House of Orange that I’ll skip over for the sake of brevity.Chapter 8 covers some of Gardiner’s escapades on Long Island. In 1658 a guy named Samuel Parsons visited his friend’s wife Elizabeth Howell. She handed her newborn baby over to Parsons, started singing a Psalm, and started screaming about a witch, as one does. When her dad Gardiner came over she stated that she saw a “black thing” at the foot of her bed. She clarified that this thing was a shadow or something conjured by the Gardiners’ servant Goody Garlick. Over time, Elizabeth began to fall seriously ill and continued to claim that Garlick was bewitching her with pins. Eventually she died, and Garlick was put on trial for witchcraft. The “evidence” was that she dispensed herbs, owned a black cat, acted as a wet nurse for children and used “counter-magic” to help Gardiner with his animals. She was defended by her husband and Gardiner himself, and managed to get her off. This apparently heralded in “an era of black magic practices on Long Island which still exist to the present day.”Chapter 7 is titled “Project Paperclip and the Hamills”. The former was an Allied plan to save Nazi scientists and war criminals for their own use, and the latter was the family of a Muppet Show guest.“Since I have known Preston, people close to him have disputed his contention that he even knew Mark Hamill. I have asked Preston’s father about this. He remembers Mark as a young boy who cleaned up leaves from their backyard.”…..No, I’m still not convinced; you’re going to need more than that. Regardless, multiple people claiming to have a connection to Hamill have contacted Moon, but most of them disappeared shortly thereafter. In 1992, Nichols ran into Hamill in a Long Island mall, and that actor mentioned that he was prohibited from speaking to Moon. He also said that he was working on a sequel to the Philadelphia Experiment movie that was backed by the government.“When the movie was released, Doug Curtis was listed on the credits and, lo and behold, the Executive Producer was a man by the name of Mark Levinson. This seems to be an obvious play on the name ‘Mark’ and the ‘Levinson time equations’ mentioned in ‘The Montauk Project: Experiments in Time’. It was as if Mark was rubbing it in our faces.”Okay, this I can believe.“Shortly after this time period, it was reported on ‘CBS This Morning’ that when virtually all the homes in a section of Malibu burned during the brush fires, Mark Hamill’s house was miraculously saved. He appeared for a brief minute or two and said he did an occult Indian ritual which preserved his house.”Alrighty then. Also, seeing as how Hamill looked rather different in later years due to plastic surgery from a car accident, Moon begins to speculate that the Mark hanging around now is actually a body double. Moon points out that this accident did occur while the Montauk Project was in full swing. He then starts saying that Mark’s father was a Lt. Col. James Hamill who was an integral part of Operation Paperclip, specifically the acquisition of the V-2 rocket team. The “evidence” for this is that Mark’s father was stated to work in Navy intelligence and the Lt. Col. Hamill looked much like him and was old enough to be his father. This segways into the next chapter.So Moon was contacted by the German publisher of his books, Jan von Helsing. Von Helsing claimed that he was born psychic “from a mother who could read spirits” and his father was involved in psychic research. Despite this, he didn’t care much for the paranormal and became involved with the “punk rock music scene”, until a skinhead of all people told him that he saw Helsing’s aura and that his “crown chakra was not function properly”. This bizarrely helpful skinhead convinced Helsing to stop taking drugs alcohol and, um… meat, which somehow resulted in him falling into a one and a half week coma, during which he saw visions of “pyramids and domed houses.” Later, he met an aura reader, who claimed that Helsing was involved in time travel, and a part of his soul is stuck in another time. He then went on to meet Cameron’s half-brother Al Bielek who informed him that he was one of only eighteen people on the planet who had a “triple aura”, all of whom came from another universe as it was being destroyed. Their souls or whatever emerged to begin a rebirth and rebuilding process. According to Helsing, himself, Bielek, Cameron, Nichols, Moon and of course Mark Hamill are part of this special group. Cameron added that people have seven layers of information that manifest in a double lattice structure. People with triple auras have three of these things. Anyway;“The idea that triple aura individuals come from another universe is paralleled in Duncan’s own readings. Duncan sometimes referred to 637 people who came in from the Old Universe. There is an even further synchronicity at work here because Duncan’s psychic memories parallel the Star Wars movies almost to a tee.”Oh, we’re back to this.“There is a lot more information yet to come forth with regard to the whole subject of Star Wars. Preston Nichols was involved with the sound production and has publicly claimed in lectures that psychics were used to project into the filming so that people would come and see the movie several times.”………….….“The Star Wars series itself was based upon George Lucas’s ‘Journal of the Will’. Although it has not been publically released, this journal contained the dreams and inspirations of Lucas, a man who is reported to have lived at Montauk. The use of the word ‘will’ is a distinct parallel to Aleister Crowley’s concept of the will. When one unleashes the will, whether is through George Lucas or any other individual, the truth has a way of coming forth. The truth we are concerned about, lest anybody wonder, is unlocking the secrets of time.”……………………..“It seems clear that both Duncan and George Lucas were pulling from the same source. When we consider that Mark Hamill was once a roommate of Duncan, a childhood friend of Preston, and eventually became the brother-in-law of George Lucas, there is less room for speculation. There was an active but unseen influence working on all of them. It seems that Hamill, Lucas and Preston (who worked as a sound engineer for these movies) all contributed to remind the population at large of its ancient legacy and predicament.”I….I’m at a complete loss for words right now, so let’s just move on. Chapter 11 is just a long description about how secret societies and the government are suppressing Helsing’s work which has something to do with the Aryans and the Jews and I don’t know let’s keep moving.Chapter 12 starts off by claiming that Steven Spielberg is involved in this whole mess too due to making Raiders of the Lost Ark and Close Encounters of the Third Kind which revealed some of the truth about Nazis and aliens, respectively. Apparently a couple of people gave him copies of the first book. What follows is a colossal amount of horseshit over the course of several chapters that will try to break down here;*Dr. Felix Kersten was the personal doctor of SS commander Heinrich Himmler, who in fact did not want to actually murder every single Jewish person on Earth, and is essentially portrayed as a somewhat sympathetic figure instead of the utter fucking monster he was.*Hitler suffered from syphilis and his mental state was decaying rapidly, and was constantly being shot up with drugs by a “Dr. Morell”.*There was an art dealer who looked exactly like Hitler who was involved with Montauk in the 1960s and the Soviets might have covered up his escape. Also, Hitler might have had literal clones made of him.*Otto Skorzeny was a complete badass and managed to find a hidden Cathar treasure and later went on his own adventures after the war.*The Kaaba in Mecca was part of the Great Pyramid’s original capstone and was given to Abraham by Tahuti, Muhammad derived his “power” from the Great Pyramid as a result and was nurtured and supported by “the Goddess”, Allah is apparently more feminine than masculine in reality.*The Cameron family is literally the lineage of Christ. Also, Montauk was part of Thule, which was the capital of the mythical land of Hyperborea (“That’s what the Greeks called Iceland, you know”). Thule itself was the source of all life on Earth. Seeing as how the Earth geometrically forms out a void, Thule is the center of this void and is thus the titular “Black Sun”. Also, “SS” does not stand for Schutzstaffel, but instead it stands for Schwarze Sonne, meaning “Black Sun”. Thulium is also a “psychic gas”, which aliens require in order to survive on Earth. A whole bunch of “Thulists” met at an Artic base called Point 103 in 1945 to get in telepathic contact with a mystical source “at the center of positive forces on the planets”, called the “Manisolas” which are bio-machines that are manifestations of the morphogenetic grid.*Vrihl is still in play and is described as a magical force “set in motion by orgasm for the purpose of invoking beings from the ‘Outside’”. These beings are called the “Onoma”, the “deepest archetypes of the subconscious and are said to be the keys to evoking the Elder Gods or Forgotten Ones”, which in turn inspired H. P. Lovecraft. The Nazis tried to use it for this purpose meaning that this book is seriously claiming that the Third Reich tried to summon the Demogorgon from the Upside-Down. I’m not quite sure what to feel about that. Also, they used Vril to make flying saucersPutting the brakes on, we arrive at Chapter 22. So the guy in charge of the Nazi Vril project, Dr. Viktor Schauberger, fled to America after the war and was recruited by Brookhaven National Laboratory. There, he created the Cosmotron, a large particle accelerator. However, when he found out that his supervisors were planning on using it to manipulate the grid, he managed to break out of his contract and returned to Germany, where he died a few days later.Speaking of which, Chapter 23 goes into more detail about the Nazi flight from Germany after the war. So essentially the I.G. Farben Corporation worked to move scientists, equipment and money to neutral countries. Farben was responsible for providing the Zyklon B gas for the concentration camps and future Pope John Paul II sold it for them in his youth. The United States government gave them support before the war in exchange for chemical warfare research, but they were investigated after the war. One of the members of Farben was a man named Leo T. Crowley who also running the FDIC and was in charge of all enemy property confiscated during the war. Regardless, the investigation ruined Farber.“Today, I. G. Farben exists but only as a shadow of its former self. That it survives at all is puzzling. I can only guess that it is some sort of weird PR ploy whereby holocaust victims can make claims against it. Perhaps the real goal is to simply haunt the Jews. On the other hand, there may be latent hopes to rekindle the company under the rise of a new Reich.”…..Sure. Oh, and also an SS General named Reinhard Gehlen helped form the CIA and staffed it with some former SS agents.Chapter 24 talks about the Nazi shenanigans in Antarctica. So apparently Hitler decided that Antarctic would be a great place for a secret base called “Neuschwabenland” and sent a navy detachment down there in 1938. This is where the Spear of Destiny was hidden after the war and there might be a Nazi UFO base down there guarding the entrance to the Hollow Earth.Chapter 25 continues an investigation of the National Archives, which revealed that the OSS went to Tibet for reconnaissance purposes that ended up with the agents giving the Tibetans a large radio transmitter. Apparently the trip was actually meant to find traces of the prior Nazi expedition, which segways into Chapter 26. These expeditions were led by a Dr. Ernst Schafer of the Ahnenerbe for studying the Tibetan political and religious practices, specifically their sexual practices.“On his expeditions, Tibetans were filmed having intimate sex in public, the pictures of which included a fifteen year old girl masturbating in public on a bridge beam.”And you thought Jonathan Byers was a mildly creepy voyeur. Anyway, the Tibetans handed over their 108-volume sacred script to the Nazis, which were later taken by the Soviets. Chapter 27 then claims that five days before Hitler “allegedly” shot himself, the Soviets found six Tibetans lying dead in a ritual circle in the cellar of a Berlin building, one of which was wearing green gloves. Apparently this guy advised Hitler for whatever reason, along with a whole bunch of other occultists. Chapter 28 expands on this by stating that the Bon religion is based on the Black Sun and the mysterious “Goddess”. Moon then proceeds to bash Buddhism for a bit, claiming that it was based upon a patriarchal system. Also, Shangri La is a real thing. There’s a whole discussion about the Bon magick that continues through Chapter 29. Chapter 30 discusses the Shensi Pyramids again, and the Nazi expeditions to Tibet to retrieve magical tablets that would teach them how to obtain a “powerful consciousness”, and had a mining operation meant to dig up a substance vital to this goal. Chapter 31 confirms that the Nazis did indeed go looking for the Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail, just like in Indiana Jones. The Romans seized them at first from the Middle East, before the Visigoths took them in the Sack of Rome, and taken to a cave where they were rediscovered by Otto Skorzeny’s commandos. Some of the treasure was dumped in a salt mine and the rest went to Himmler. Somehow the Ark ended up in Ethopia. Chapter 32 talks a bit about magical “White Gold and Occultum”, which was contained in the Ark.Chapter 33 expands on this by claiming that an alien “Blue Race” produced royal bloodlines. Chapter 34 describes Napoleon’s life a bit and states that he used Occultum, which was found in mummies. Chapter 35 talks about Crowley some more and his contact with an entity called LAM, which is linked to the blueprint room Moon mentioned in the previous book.“Magicians in the past have referred to that blueprint room as R’lyeh, a region which contains the sleeping or hidden god Cthulu… All of the gods within R’lyeh are known as the Forgotten Ones which is another name for the Elder Gods or Elder Race. This can be extended as well to the Blue Race.”So Lovecraft was right all along, who knew? Also, Atlantis relied upon an addiction to a phosphorus substance called “Zro”, which allowed them to achieve a higher state of being.Finally, we reach the Epilogue which matter-of-factly states that Prescott Bush, (the father of President George Bush Sr.) literally stole Geronimo’s skull with the Skull and Bones society. Why? So they could eat the residual Occultum residing in the bones of course! This practice apparently continued at Montauk. Moon ends the book with one final exclamation that the Black Sun is the source of creation;“Today, it has come into full view for the world to see. The powers of creation can be accessed by any free soul who wishes to reach for them. The Black Sun is alive and kicking and is no longer reserved for those who would perpetrate evil against man or life. It breathes the fire of life and love. It is the hidden god, Mon, talking. In this sense, it is also the ultimate synchronicity in terms of puns. It is MON-TALK!”And with that God-awful pun out of the way, Moon presents one final Author’s Note warning the readers to stay away from people claiming to sell white gold, with one guy in particular managing to scam a whopping ten thousand idiots.“New Age people are now being targeted for all sorts of scams, particularly in the financial arena. As the Romans used to say ‘Caveat emptor’(buyer beware).“But you can totally trust me guys! Buy my next book!”And with that, we finish Montauk’s Nazi-Tibetan Connection. What did we learn? Well, we learned that there’s a pretty good chance that Brenner may be Eleven’s actual father if we go upon this. Also, we never found out about the child herself in all of this by the way. I guess that’s something to look forward to, right? Also, both the Cthulu Mythos and the Star Wars galaxy are real.Join me next week on Hawkins Book Club and we’ll take a look at Montauk: The Alien Connection.Thanks for reading, and Stay Strange.The Montauk Project: Experiments in Time OverviewMontauk Revisited: Adventures in Synchronicity OverviewPyramids of Montauk: Explorations in Consciousness OverviewEncounter in the Pleiades: An Inside Look at UFOs Overview via /r/StrangerThings
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