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yeoldontknow · 7 years

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do you have any tips for writing? Your writing is the best i've ever read, and I'm not exaggerating. I really want to be better, but i don't know how to improve. Is writing something you can improve in or is it just something you're born with?

hello anon~~

heres the thing: some people are born with a natural proclivity towards a certain skill. like you can be born with a good singing voice if it runs in your family or something - but that does not necessarily mean you are born being celine dion. you still have to work to hone your craft, practice, engage in ongoing trial and error. every talent or craft is something that needs to be continuously worked on - like a muscle! if you dont do the thing for a while, itll revert back to a previous state you might not be happy with. so, while you CAN be born skilled at something, no one is born perfect. AND YES. there are many things you can do to help yourself improve

- read. honestly, most of the authors/writers i admire are also avid readers. when you read a book or a fic or something, your vocabulary naturally expands. certain authors use certain words to describe things, others have various stylistic choices that determine how their story is paced. someone like hemingway might use very brief, short sentence with words that have high impact; while someone like isaac marion might use many sentences to get the same feeling across. its important you read BOTH authors because this will help you develop a style in your own writing, will help your own vocabulary grow - hemingway might say ‘the red seat looked like a feast’; isaac marion might say ‘the seat looked as though it were bleeding, and it made R terribly, terribly hungry.’ same sentiment - different way of explaining something (*note: those are not actual quotes, im just using an example idk)

reading also helps your imagination expand!!

- consume various forms of media/art. what i mean by consume is just engage with different types of arts. listen to music - music ALWAYS helps me get inspired, either in the sound or in the lyrics. and its to a point where i cannot write if the music/soundtrack isnt right. watch tv or films - i can assure you that hero is only as gritty as it is because i was watching sense8 while writing it. show is dark and foreboding constantly, and it definitely helped me structure my mindset to be in that world.

for both reading and tv and music - i dont mean copy the work. dont ever do that. that is plagiarism. but these things all help a person get inspired or feel creative or help them visualize a certain thing for their story.

- destroy the blank word doc. its easy to fear a blank document. EVERYONE fears the empty word doc. something about all that white is terribly imposing and threatening and you immediately start to doubt yourself. its like looking into a void. so how do we combat that? put down a sentence or three. WHO CARES IF THEY ARE GROSS? the void certainly doesnt, the void is just like ‘wtf these words are so itchy’ and youre like ‘fuckin...deal with it.’ put down sentences for your story and get rid of that blank page. these are not final sentences, you are going to edit them. do you know how many times chapter 13 of hero has been edited? literally, over 5 at this point. i cant seem to get it right AND THATS OK!! because i will! and you will too! just throw some shit onto a page and then go back and change it. (more on this later)

- start in the middle. while its also easy to be intimidated by a blank word doc, its also easy to be intimidated by not knowing where to start. if you have a great idea of the middle of your chapter - WRITE THAT PART FIRST!! if you get inspired by a dialogue or by a vision you have, you will kill it almost instantly by going ‘ok but i have to get them there first’ and then trying to wrap your mind around it. immediately, the mood dies and it feels like pulling teeth to get some words down because thats not what your muse wants you to be thinking about. so, write that cool scene first. i PROMISE once its out, more will come. the ending of chapter 7 for hero was written before chapter 6 AND before even the start of 7. WRITE WHAT INSPIRES YOU AND I PROMISE MORE WILL COME!!

- edit, edit, edit. so. you started in the middle, drafted your Cool Scene and burned the white doc down. AMAZING GO YOU!! but youre not done. you have to edit that. the first thing your mind brings forth will not (not saying it cant but when youre trying to burn down a doc it likely isnt) be the final thing you release to the public. once you have your cool scene down, go back and edit. fill it in. make it better and pretty. change some words, fix your typos. when you think its great, move onto something else and THEN GO BACK. AND FIX IT AGAIN. i edit at least 3 times before i post something. no one ever puts a perfect thing down that they like first time round, and the only time thats ever happened to me was when i wrote pusher in a fit of GLORIOUS INSPIRATION THAT LIKELY WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN.

- have a friend read your work/be a hype man. rome was not build in a day and certainly was not built by one man alone. if you have a friend in the fandom or community, or even just a friend you trust enough to share work with, SHARE IT WITH THEM. my housemate likes kpop, but does not care nearly enough about it as i do, and also has no inclination to write fanfic whatsoever. BUT. hes super supportive of me and LOVES reading whatever i write - especially hero. sharing your work with a friend to get their opinion is the most vulnerable you will ever be but its EXCITING. i shared hero with him and all at once he was giving me tips on weapons and how the ear responds to gunfire and like his random interest in military strategy has helped guide hero so much. so while you might be shy, your friend might be dumb excited and become an incredible plot bunny.

and lastly the biggest tip i can give you is:

do not compare yourself to other writers. EVERY SINGLE PERSON has a different life experience or reason of interest that drives them to writing. for me and a few others, its therapy. for others, its simply a way to pass the time. for all of us: it is fun. keep this fun. comparing yourself to someone else almost instantly ruins any enjoyment you can get out of it. if i walked into this fandom expecting to be The Best, i certainly would not ever be that (gross, who does that anyway) and i certainly wouldnt be having fun. comparison pressures you unnecessarily and also taints your enjoyment of the fandom. write, enjoy what you write, DO NOT WRITE FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF PLEASING OTHER PEOPLE, and accept the fact that sometimes its going to be hard. BUT IT WILL ALWAYS. BE. FUN. so pls dont compare yourself. im an old fart who has been writing for a long time. walking in here and going ‘omfg im not that i cant be that jesus’ is not good! no, my hun. you will not be me. YOU WILL BE YOU. AND THATS EVEN BETTER!!!!

i hope this helped you dove

#the cutest anons #writing advice #Anonymous

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spideywritings · 7 years

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🐯happy birthday, hope you had a great day! We're both October babies(: I'm hannah, I'm 5'1, 19, have brown hair & brown eyes (my icon if ya want a visual lol) I've been a dancer for 17 years & will soon be working at Disney World! I love the behind the scenes aspect of productions even though I'm a performer. I'm a pretty big introvert but love making people laugh. Friends say I'm witty but protective. I love traveling/animals/musicals & am interested to see who you think I'd pair well with(:

thank you so much!! i’m sorry this is so late (its midterm season and im dying send help) but i hope you like these anyways! also you’re literally beautiful what the heck

i honestly and 100% think you’d pair well with tom!

you two would probably first connect through your love of dance

dancing isn’t tom’s premier mode of performance, but he definitely loves the art all the same

that being said, he really likes watching you dance

he thinks you’re at your most beautiful when you dance solely because of the way your face looks when you do

yes, of course watching you dance is aesthetically pleasing, but what he really fell in love with was the look of pure contentment and enjoyment on your face when you do what you love

definitely pulls you into slow dances on ocassion

he likes how snugly your body fits against his

goes absolutely bonkers when you tell him you’ll be working at Disney World

“we’re both working for Disney, babe, its meant to be”

you argue that technically he’s working for Marvel but he always counters with “yeah but Disney bought Marvel so if you really wanna get technical about it I’m working for Disney”

gets so so so many ideas about taking you on dates to Disney World

“tom im there for work though”

“yeah but there’s no reason you can’t mix work with pleasure”

when you start he visits you as often as he can

is literally your number one fan - you’ll never get rid of him

also really likes that you like performing, like he does

even though he acts and you dance, he love love loves that your passions intersect

definitely attempts to get Marvel to hire you in some way or another

he also really likes that you appreciates the behind the scenes aspects as well

will 10000% take you on set and show you all of the cool things he sees

somehow he convinces the set crew to let you watch a few takes and everytime they finish a take, his eyes immediately search for you

also, he knows you love traveling so that’s his excuse for flying you out everywhere

honestly, he eventually asks you if you wanna travel with him, his brothers, and harrison

one, so he doesn’t have to be apart for you for such long periods of time and two, because he knows you’re really interested in the entertainment business - both on screen and off

he’ll do anything for you if you ask

is so absolutely in love with the idea that you get along so well with his family

specifically harry

you guys can sit together for hours on end talking about filming

ALSO TESSA

you love animals and animals love you

tessa takes to you immediately and it lowkey makes tom wanna cry

his two fave girls getting along so well

ok but he adores your laugh

will make dumb jokes and puns 25/8 just to hear you laugh

he likes how your smile reaches your eyes and you laugh with your whole body it honestly just makes him wanna hug you

and 9/10 after he makes you laugh he does and kisses your forehead

also really likes your sense of humor

he likes that he can laugh and be 100% himself when he’s around you

tom’s a major extrovert, but he understands that you’re not

he’s totally down for giving you your space when you need it/when you ask for it

he doesnt take offense to it at all

“whatever makes you the most comfortable babe”

he himself cant handle too much space from people, so when you go off on your own 8 times out of ten, he’ll seek you out after like, an hour of being left alone

he won’t distrub your quiet time, but he’ll sit in the same room with you

he just really likes the idea of you being there

sitting in the same room and not talking is, in his opinion, one of the most emotionally intimate things he’s ever done with someone and he’s glad you’re the one he can do it with

silence isnt as intimidating when you’re with him, he thinks

really really just wants you to know that he loves you

will do the most insane ridiculous things to make sure you know how he feels all the time

brings you cute little gifts from his travels if you’re not with him

if he’s gone for long periods of time, he’ll skype you until you both fall asleep

when you wake up you realize neither of you hung up and he’s still on the other line, sleeping

he definitely looks at you when you don’t realize it and GOD the look he gets can only be described as in love theres no other way to slice it

conclusion: the couple people know are in love by just looking at them

#kate's bday celebration

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pigeonacademic · 7 years

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pipermccloud So far, i've made other alien species for the gems to interact with; some they've fought, some they're neutral with, others they've aided (or been aided by) and some they've opened trade with

thegemnants that's cool! i think it's really neat for the gems to actually be involved in intergalatic affairs with other species. considering how much of the universe they must've combed through, it would make sense for them to have at least met ONE species as powerful as them.

pipermccloud Yep! Could also be a reason why they need a lot of planets and why they had to quickly churn out half-baked gems for the war

pipermccloud Because resources were low by fighting an even bigger war

thegemnants in my fic, red diamond once commit genocide against an entire species which the gems were allied with, and because of that, the gems were ex communicated from the Union... which is one of the reasons why red diamond is so awful and yeah, if there were other aliens, it would make sense why the gems need more resources

pipermccloud The Union? I haven't heard much of REd Diamond Are you going to make a post on it? I need to go downstairs to check on my sisters real quick

thegemnants The Union is just a generic term I'm using to refer to the alignment between the other aliens :P and i do think you've seen red diamond, i'm probably going to draw some more intimidating pix of her

pipermccloud ! ^-^ I've seen her before, and she does look like she'll crush you if you so much aas look at her funny

thegemnants yep! because she did that horrible atrocity to the alien species, gemkinds reputation tarnished. but it doesn't end there, because red diamond was also exiled from the gempire as a whole. not just because she commit that genocide, but because of how she did it-- forcing fusion with the other 4 Diamonds.

pipermccloud BIG YIPES

thegemnants So, Red Diamond was cast out, and took her Court with her, vanishing to create her own empire. And she was gone for millions of years before returning, stronger than ever. There's more to it than that, but yeeeeah, that's red diamond's story :'D

pipermccloud DAMN SHE'S HORRIFYING Suggested nickname for her: The Red Death

thegemnants absolutely! :D Sometimes I wanna call her Blood Diamond, which is an actual term! but, you knooooow gems dont have blood :'D

pipermccloud Pfffft! True So, how is her empire like? I bet she was real rough on them now that she was on her ow n

thegemnants it's a dystopian hellscape where gems are shattered for showing the slightest bit of disrespect or noncomfority. yellow wishes she had the heart to be this intense. the only gems free from red diamond's wrath are her pearl and her zirconia, because they've been so brainwashed that they would never even THINK of doing something that would upset their diamond.

pipermccloud sent a GIF

holy cow- So, she's a dictator basically, a warmonger?

thegemnants HellllLLLL YEAH!

thegemnants and the thing is, she and her court live entirely on ships she leaves nothing left of the planets she harvests Gems from

pipermccloud OOH o-o She makes them go ka-boom. Out of not wanting to leave a trace, leave any resources for the others or just because of sadism?

thegemnants mostly just wanting to be undetectable now, what if i told you, that in my fic, there's someone worse than red diamond :'D

pipermccloud Okay, how can anyone other than Space Satan herself be more terrifying- I'm curious how o_o

thegemnants So, you may be wondering this, not just in fic sense but just in SU canon general.

thegemnants Where did the Diamonds come from? Well, a long time ago, a burst of magic born of the gap between universe brought life to a planet of carbon. Not of carbon-based minerals or carbon-based organisms, but purely of the element Carbon. "I want friends, I want friends," she cried, this living Carbon.

pipermccloud O-O

thegemnants So, from her body, she created 5 children: the Diamonds. Red, Pink, Blue, Yellow, and White. "But it's not enough" So, after a while, Carbon sent her children out to make "more friends" Thus, the first Gem Colony was created "But it's not enough, it will never be enough"

thegemnants So, the Diamonds continued to spread out, taking planet after planet, creating Gem after Gem

pipermccloud O_O

thegemnants However, after a supernova, the Diamonds were seperated from Carbon. Even though she no longer had her grasp on them, the Diamonds were still terrified of what would happen if they didn't please her. So they kept grabbing planets and making Gems.

pipermccloud holy cow

thegemnants But then, guess what? When Red Diamond was banished, she went to the other side of the universe

pipermccloud what

thegemnants AND GUESS WHO SHE FOUND AND BROUGHT BACK TO HOMEWORLD

pipermccloud CARBON

thegemnants AND GUESS WHAT CARBON DID WHEN SHE GOT TO HOMEWORLD TO PUNISH THE CHILDREN WHO WERE SO CRUEL TO HER SISTER AND SO RUDE TO HAVE NEVER LOOKED FOR HER

thegemnants SHE TOOK A BIG BITE OUT OF IT AND ABSORBED BILLIONS OF GEMS INTO HER BODY and when i say absorbed, i mean they are digesting forever inside of her while being completely concious and part of a hivemind so yeah, carbon is the "final boss" of the fic

pipermccloud I cannot find a gif for the life of me to express how horrific that is So, Cluster but over 90000 holy shit

thegemnants Yep! And that's the entire reason why Yellow wants the Cluster. What better to take out a planet-sized monster than a planet-sized monster?

thegemnants It probably would've only served as a distraction, though.

pipermccloud How many gems know of Carbon's existence? For the newer ones, is she regarded as a myth?

pipermccloud Also, what does Carbon look like?

thegemnants oooh, carbon being a scary myth that agates used to scare new recruits is actually a really good idea!

pipermccloud :D

thegemnants originally i was gonna go with a 'just diamonds know', but very, VERY old gems probably know, too and carbon is like a giant, black planet, slightly larger than earth, with a face a fucked-up nightmare face and she reflects no light have you heard of hellstar remina? that's what i'm envisioning carbon to look like, but all dark and stuff

pipermccloud I haven't actually, but holy-cow, imagine her eclipsing Homeworld..a dark shadow falls across the gempire, and wait-does it have TEETH AND EYES-

heres a picture of remina from hellstar remina basically something like this mixed with the face of an elderly woman

pipermccloud !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pipermccloud sent a GIF

You got an eye for nightmare fuel

thegemnants awww thank you ;w;

pipermccloud She's VERY terrifying, both in personality AND appearance Red Diamond is practically Mother Thersa compared to her, isn't she?

thegemnants pretty much! :'D even red is terrified of her at first red wanted to pull a "mommy, my siblings were mean to me! aren't you going to punish them?" but when carbon took that nice, juicy bite out of homeworld she immediately went to "WTF MOM THIS ISNT WHAT I MEANT!"

pipermccloud Classic mom, always misunderstanding and doing things her own way-

pipermccloud Is it likely she'll take a bite out of her own kids too?

thegemnants they'd have to do something reeeeeally bad for that to happen, so while possible, not likely not that it's much of a solace, considering she'll still breath down your neck and cause constant anxiety with her moon-sized eyes staring down at you

pipermccloud eugg I feel so sorry for all the Diamonds even Red And this also just gave me an idea for art! How many Diamonds did Carbon have again-

thegemnants 5, but she could probably make more if she wanted. she just chooses not to :D

pipermccloud "Okay, five's enough for me, this bunch is getting out of hand."

thegemnants not to mention, since she literally turns parts of her body into the diamonds, it would probably hurt a lot huhuhu

pipermccloud Ooh, planet-version of labor pain I'm going out on a limb here and guessing she likes Red better than the others? thegemnants Well, in her eyes, Red DID come and find her, even if it wasn't actually intended. So, she probably liked Red the best. Speaking of RD's dystopian style gempire, how much does it differ from Homeworld?

thegemnants i guess it's just really... tight. homeworld as we see it in the show seems pretty bland and generic as far as alien empires go, but in my fic, i want it to be like a mirror of earth where some things are similar but the things that are different are so vastly different that its hard to wrap your head around it. (not saying that my version is better, im just not a fan of the way this show is handling its mythology)

thegemnants Whereas Red Diamond is just a complete warrior culture where none of the members have any free time at all (except for RD's Pearl and Zirconia)They're always training, training, training, working, working, working. Ship builders and engineers and mechanics have to be constantly on their toes, since the Court lives solely on ships Soldiers have to be constantly sparring one another until exhaustion cycles into movation Sapphires have to novelize any and all visions Mages have to work on spells, Tourmalines have to work on maps, Agates have to constantly supervise, etc etc etc There is literally no room for anything else

Architect wise, how do the ships look inside and out?

thegemnants big enough to be cities, but inside, it's mostly just angular and grey monotonousness. but the gems in RD's court are just so used to it that they can tell the slightest differences in these highly-similar locations to find their way around and yes, shattering always is a fear sans those higher-up, who are the only ones allowed to show any sign of slack Do they have a uniform or is it a variety, as long as it allows them to function?

thegemnants it's all uniform per gem race, although, i suppose somewhat thankfully, red diamond does like to get fancy with it thegemnants I feel like she'd prefer to stay sedentary unless she has a reason to move. Although I also think she has a room where she goes when she's upset where she just fucking beats up statues to get her stress out. @ufolotus

#please keep tis safe #omputer is ating te gufuk up and i ant een type a lot of letters i ae to opy and paste and i may need to get a new one but i migt not be abe

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themoneybuff-blog · 5 years

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Inspiration from Sathya Sai Baba, Stephen Fry, Son Volt, and More

Once a month (or so), I share a dozen things that have inspired me to greater personal, professional, and financial success in my life. I hope they bring similar success to your life. 1. Bob Dylan on regrets I dont believe in regrets. Regrets just keep you chained to the past. You gotta make peace with the past. Theres no reason to regret it. Youve done it, just make peace with it. Bob Dylan A few weeks ago, I was digging through some very old journal entries, some of my oldest ones from the mid-1990s. I read an entry about an old friend of mine who passed away several years later. Our friendship had faded and I actually didnt hear about his passing for a while, well past his funeral, and it filled me with huge regret when I heard about it and I actually felt some regret when I read this entry. As I thought about him, Im reminded of what one of the best people Ive ever known, who Ill call Tony, once said about friendships. He told me that some friendships are for a day, some are for a season, and some are for a lifetime. They all fill a need for us, but its okay for some friendships to only be for a day and its okay for some friendships to only be for a season. Just dont let them end with a cruel word. We were great friends at a key point in both of our lives and then our lives went in different directions. I dont recall ever saying anything cruel or intentionally leaving him out; I simply moved several hours away and then, shortly thereafter, he moved away as well and we simply didnt see each other any more. I dont regret letting that friendship end any more. Rather, Im glad we were friends at that time when we needed that other person in our life as someone to hang out with and talk about the inherent difficulties of figuring out what came next in our lives. We both needed that, and then we didnt, and thats okay. [embedded content] This song comes straight out of that time period I wrote about above. This song, the entire album it comes from, and some of the albums of two closely related bands (Wilco and Uncle Tupelo) were the soundtrack of that period in my life. Over the last few weeks, Ive played so many of those albums over and over again, out of a mix of admiration of the beauty of that music as well as the way it can transport me to another place and time if I let it. Music has an ability to do this. Art has an ability to do this. Its somehow tied to feelings deep inside of us, and for me, this song taps into that sense of doing something familiar but knowing that the familiar is about to end. I think it comes both from the song itself and from the period of my life that I identify with it. 3. Sathya Sai Baba on when to speak Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve the silence? Sathya Sai Baba Im trying to move in this direction with my own conversation, moving away from meaningless chit chat and trying to save my words for things that actually have meaning and are better than the silence. The big challenge that I often have to overcome with this is that, for several hours a day, Im mostly silent. I work from home, by myself, and theres no reason to talk. Thus, when my kids and my wife get home, Im anxious to simply communicate with another person and sometimes Ill end up just talking for the sake of talking. Thats a bad habit and I want to trim it out, so Im focusing on being more purposeful with my words. Am I communicating kindness? Am I communicating anything useful? Am I communicating worthwhile information? If not, why speak? 4. The Five Minute Method Im not sure where I picked up this idea, but its something that Ive done both consciously and unconsciously for years and its been particularly powerful as of late. The idea is this: whenever theres something you need to do that you really dont want to do, agree to just do it for five minutes literally setting a timer if you want and then you can quit with no guilt afterwards. Thats it. Dont want to exercise? Agree to just do some exercise for five minutes. If your timer goes off, you can quit, or you can go longer if you want in either case, its a win. Dont want to meditate? Set a five minute timer. Dont want to do that dreadful work task thats hanging over your head? Set a five minute timer. Dont want to dig into that project thats going to take all day? Set a five minute timer. Quit after the five minutes if you want. Do it another day. This really works for me for some reason. Quite often, once the five minutes are up, I want to keep making headway on the project at hand anyway. If I dont, I know I can quit with no guilt because I know I made just a little progress. It goes back on tomorrows to-do list. Try it. Use it with every task that seems miserable in your life. 5. Aaron Sorkin on learning If youre dumb, surround yourself with smart people. If youre smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you. Aaron Sorkin This is spectacular advice. If you want to genuinely understand the world better, surround yourself with people who know things that you do not and learn from them. Theres only one problem with this strategy: there are enough people in the world who are genuinely opposed to being exposed to new ideas that many people have their guard up and immediately get defensive when discussing ideas. If you ask a question, they assume theyre just being attacked by someone who isnt actually genuinely interested in an exchange of ideas, but rather in just creating conflict and discord. In other words, this approach does not work well online outside of specific, carefully moderated situations. It works best face to face, with people youre interacting with directly and who you have some form of real life social connection with. It is that social connection that encourages those involved to put down their defensiveness and exchange ideas. Its why I go to meetups. Its why I like to go to lectures and presentations when I can. Its why I often have really deep discussions with friends I trust. Its why I read books that challenge me. I dont know a lot of things about the world, and even in the areas I do know well, I dont know every perspective or idea. I want to know those things. [embedded content] From the description: Thubten Chodron is a Tibetan Buddhist nun, prolific author, and world renowned teacher. She is the founder and abbess of Sravasti Abbey, and co-author of a book with His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Want to be happy? Join Venerable Thubten Chodron to learn how. By becoming aware of how our actions affect those around us, as well as ourselves, she offers ways to identify and overcome our self-centered attitude that pretends to look out for our welfare, but is actually self-sabotaging and primes us to make unwise choices. The core idea that she presents is that taking purely self-centered actions ones where we dont even consider the impact on others rarely brings us lasting happiness. Rather, considering how the things we do affect others and filtering what we do to center more on things that benefit others and ourselves often becomes a source of lasting happiness. Think about the things you do in a given day. How many of them are things that you do entirely because they benefit you? How many of those things are things that youve even considered in terms of how they affect people besides yourself? Heres a good practice: spend a day logging everything that you do. Then, a day or two later, go through that log and ask yourself how many of those things were done solely because they benefited you. Then, for each of those things, consider alternative things you could have done that might have been good for others, too, without shortchanging yourself (or only having a minor relative drawback for you). I did this a week or so ago and I found a lot of little things that I could do differently. It was pretty surprising how I could tweak lots of little things in my life to be a little less self-centered without adding a whole lot of effort, and then doing things in the less self-centered way felt a whole lot better. For example, I redid my morning routine so that I could make a better breakfast for my kids; in the end, it didnt cost me any time, but by thinking of things in terms of them, they wound up with a better breakfast most mornings that they could eat with their dad. 7. Malcolm Gladwell on self-contradiction If you dont contradict yourself on a regular basis, then youre not thinking. Malcolm Gladwell Its worth noting here that Gladwell is talking about contradicting yourself in terms of ideas, not in terms of behavior or lying about what youre up to. His point is that if youre actually thinking about an idea and turning it over and over in your head, your understanding of that idea deepens and your opinions on that idea likely change a little, and that results in your current views and comments potentially seeming hypocritical compared to earlier views and comments. I think its good for society to move past looking at a persons evolving views as being a bad thing. We should want people to turn over ideas in their head, understand them better, and thus evolve their views on those ideas. Sticking to the same ideas in the face of a lot of contradictory evidence isnt a good thing. Its not hypocritical to change your views when you learn new information. A person who does this isnt a hypocrite. Rather, theyre just being thoughtful. 8. Heath Ledger on happiness Everyone you meet always asks if you have a career, are married, or own a house, as if life was some kind of grocery list. But no one ever asks you if you are happy. Heath Ledger This is a good point, but its also a difficult one. Having a conversation with someone about whether they are happy feels really awkward. Asking someone if theyre happy often opens the door to a conversation that most people dont want to have even with people theyre very close to. Ive been turning this over in my head for a long time and lately Ive moved to using a pretty standard conversation starter that I think hits on this in a meaningful way. I simply ask people Whats good in your life right now? If they dont seem sure of what I mean, I explain it simply: What have you done lately that youve really enjoyed? Have you read a good book? Watched a good movie? Spent time with someone cool? Finished off a big project? I find that almost everyone has something they can talk about here, and its usually something that gets them excited and positive and animated. Not only that, I learn about all kinds of interesting things, and I usually learn something pretty interesting about that person, too. This is the single best free introductory course to computer programming that I have ever found. If I were to point someone toward a resource from which they could learn the basics of computer programming without shelling out significant cash, this would be it. The catch is that its an online course that runs somewhat irregularly. Its often hard to catch it right when it starts sometimes itll be in the middle of a session and other times its not running at all. Im mentioning it here because a new session of this class starts at the beginning of June. Its completely free and its really, really good. This is highly recommended if youve ever wanted to dig into computer programming a little to understand what exactly it is. This is good teaching at its finest. 10. Jim Rohn on discipline and regret We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. Jim Rohn I have dropped this quote before in inspiration columns, but it has been incredibly powerful for me over the years. In general, you have two choices most of the time. You can be disciplined right now, or you can have regrets later on. You can eat that unhealthy meal right now (no discipline) and suffer some negative health effects down the road (regret), or you can eat a healthy meal now (discipline) and be fitter and healthier in life (no regret). You can spend your money on something frivolous (no discipline) and then have to deal with financial difficulties later on (regret), or you can skip by most unnecessary expenses (discipline) and achieve your big financial goals (no regret). Its true for many of lifes challenges exercise, building relationships, and so on. We always have a choice discipline or regret. The catch, of course, is that discipline isnt very painful at all often just a little uncomfortable at the moment while regret can be incredibly painful and long lasting. 11. My in-laws My wifes parents both recently retired. They spent the last decade or so really stabilizing their finances so that they could afford to retire and still enjoy travel and doing things with their grandchildren and having hobbies. They visited us for the first time since theyve both retired and I swear I could tell a difference with them. They both just seemed a little more relaxed, but at the same time, a little more interested in doing things. Often in the past, they would visit us and both seem a bit tired from their busy lives and would treat their visit as a mini-vacation of sorts where they could relax. When they came up this time, they wanted to help us with a couple minor home improvement projects and they threw themselves into painting a room with gusto. They seemed upbeat and happy and possibly more energetic than Ive seen them in a while. They talked about things they wanted to do in the very near future and seemed excited about all of it. In other words, theyre doing exactly what I want to do when I retire. 12. Stephen Fry on depression If you know someone whos depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isnt a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather. Stephen Fry Ive had periods of deep melancholy in my life that probably swung into mild depression, though I was never treated for it. I went through most of a year once where I had minimal motivation to do much of anything at all other than the absolute bare minimum. It took me a long time to climb out of that hole. Lately, Ive been watching a good friend of mine fall into that kind of depression spiral. Hes gradually become more and more withdrawn from me and from other mutual friends. He doesnt respond to text messages or other methods of communication much at all. Even when I do manage to get him out of the house, hes largely uncommunicative. I know from others that he rarely leaves his home. I am really at a loss as to what I can do to help. In the end, I think the best thing I can do is to just keep inviting him to do things, keep sending him positive things about the things weve had a shared interest in, keep checking in and poking without actually talking about the elephant in the room that is depression. If he does decide to talk about it, Ill just listen and empathize, but I wont push him to talk about it. I want him to remember that people care about him without blatantly saying people care about you. I miss him. I wish I had a magic way to help, but I dont. Rather, I think the best thing I can do is to just not let that thread of connection between us wither and die, not push him to talk about the depression, but rather to talk about the positive things we share and if he decides to open up about it, Ill just listen and be supportive and not try to jam my own experiences into it. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/inspiration-from-sathya-sai-baba-stephen-fry-son-volt-and-more/

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feelingsofhope · 7 years

Text

Found this in my drafts. Some interesting stuff here.

So, I’ve been getting a load of flak for how depressed i’ve been lately. well, I’m going to explain here...This is going to be long so get comfy.

I’m always being told to just “Relax” or do it for the “Fun” and not the fame.

See now normally ythis would be amazing advice to someone with a more normal background then mine. See why this is bad advice to me is because i didn’t get into Music cause it is fun. I did this solely for therapeutic reasons. Now comes the part why it was therapy. I have really bad social issues, like o was afraid to talk to anyone cause i was an extremely slow learner. I didn’t understand the world or why people were the way they were. Not to mention i have alopecia totalis. So i lost my hair when i was in middle school 6th grade. And losing your hair in patches tends to kick down your self esteem and worth. I hated who i was, I hated that for some reason i had to deal with all of this myself. Granted i made a few friends that became life long during this time, But, That was cause the common interest of FF7. Back to the hair loss, As you probably already figured out, I was bullied and made fun of a lot at school.Not just a little bullied im talking people used to fight me cause i looked sick and i was near them. the friends that i said i made started taking my side and helping me out with all these assholes. They were bigger than the bullys and they weren’t afraid to throw in a hit or ten. Now see this happened pretty much all the time, It was a daily regiment to get bullied and teased. this happened until like 8th grade. I had to repeat 7th grade so i ended up being a year behoind all of my friends. Now in this year behind i met some more life long friends. great people.

Now that you have that part here is my home life...

My father wasn’t much of a father to me, He used to be someone i looked up to until my niece was born. Now im gonna throw this out so you dont get it twisted. I love my niece and i dont hold any sort of resentment towards er at all. I’m very proud of my niece. But back to the subject.when my niece was born my father basically forgot i existed as his son. Ihe would only talk to me if to dicipline me or have me get him water. I tried to get his aproval on so many levels. But that didnt really happen. I was 11 when she was born, Cue in the stress and depression. Since i was just getting into middle school and all that i couldv’e really used my dads help to get me through all of this bullying and teasing. I didn’t get any respect at school and at home i felt like only my mother loved me and wanted me around. since he wasnt there i had to figure out what a man was all about. how to handle my self, protect myself and how to build my mind up enough to notice things. basically do what my dad was supposed to do. just prepare me for things i know he knew would happen.

There is both home and school life.... Now here is where music was introduced to me...

8th grade i took up band class i played the tenor saxophone. Now at first i was annoyed that i was in a class where i was constantly judged about how i was playing. But i was wrong, Well atleast for middle school i was. i played in band for 6 months and then was advanced to advanced band. I took to it rather fast and i learned how to play the sax withing those 6 months. now this was a replacement for being social. I didnt have to make friends through talking to them and getting to know them. I made friends by playing music with others. This was an unspoken language tthat to me made more sense then any words that could be spoken.Harmony in the room as all of the band played these songs. Me being afraid to talk to people led people to talk to me, Now i can talk to people just fine as long as i dont have to start the conversation. and i made a few more friends like this.

So here is an intermission break down

I was bullied and my father wasnt there. I lost my hair do to stress and depression and i was scared to talk to anyone. Music made me feel like i knew a new language to communicate with the people around me.

Now here is where Raves came into my life. during the summer before high school i went to my first rave called “lucid dreams”, I was terrified cause there were so many people there. I loved the music cause i was already listening to it for a few years already. But this scene had something different to it that i liked immediately. everyone didnt care how i was or why i was. They would just smile at me and be friendly without me saying a single word.it was then ithat i found that the dj basically made the moodand was essentially the god of socialness. it was the first time i really felt at home and welcome in a very long time. After i started raving My hair started to grow back and i started to feel alive again. now just before i went to high school i went to one other rave that impacted me. It was called “Defcon 3″

This rave is what introduced me to the thought of being a dj. I remember me and my friends were stanfding outside and talking to this really awesome guy who always had a backpack on (Trajikk). Now we didn’t know who he was until he got on the stage that night and played some amazing hard house.Just seeing the attention he got when he spun his hour set i was in pure awe. i was talking to this man outside and he was completely coo. rhwn after his set i remember everyone going to him and saying how amazing his set was. This interested me causehe went up and showed off his abilities and was getting attention after. People were thanking him and saying how he made their night so much better. i seen this as he just helped these people have a better night. i mean he helped me that night. From that night i was inspired to become a dj, I went out and bought some turntables and a few records and started to play them. i had no idea what i was doing at all. Then after about 6 or so months i found a website with a forum called “DJTrajikk.com” it was beatfrekz before. but it was the DJ i was talking to outside of the show! so i joined the forum and was like 5th place in posts. I remember putting up a post saying i bought some decks and was wondering if anyone could help me out.

Guess who answered, 2 guys from floorbangrs (Might have been beatfrekz still i am not sure) The first was DJ XLR8, He helped me learn how to count the beats and how to adjust. he disnt show me a whole lot but he let me mix and he would explain how things worked and why it didnt work. That day was amazing. I learned so much that day. Now the second reply was from my idol “Trajikk” he invited me over to his house and he tought me a lot more. I was taught how to count the beats and swith the beats up. Identify and cueing. song structure, how to read a vinyle by the density of the grooves and howhen to mix and how to mix. These two djs taught me everything i needed to get started. a few months later trajikk gave me my first show called “Winter freeze” on December 18 2004. I was so happy that i was shaking. i played and of coarse iu was not so great because i was just starting, I played my set and stepped down. and the people that were there came up to me and started talking with me. They liked the music that i playd and and thanked me.

To me this was heaven on earth, I loved being able to get off the stage and have people come to me to talk to me. I wasn’t scared of people anymore. it encouraged me to get really good at the art. i was beyond myself with how much music connected me back to the world of the living.

lets end this with why im so depressed...

Im so depressed because i’ve lost my hair, Lost my girl of 5 years, my father passed away and i have a lot of resentment still, I cant spin with these new kids anymore because its not to them like it was to me. It was my way of connecting to the world and now i lost my key to get back in the door. back in the day people would literally go to hear the music the dj played and stay for all the djs sets cause it was amazing mussic. now it’s a bunch of these new kids dressing like little hoes and douch bags. they only listen to one DJ and leave to go to a after party to get drunk and do drugs. and if they do stay they stay out in the smoking section the whole time. the music i play isnt what they like, My music isnt ‘Hard” enough for them.

Now lets go to the competition night...

This is the end, I was pumped and ready to go and play the set of my life. I get there and i see so many people there already who were ready to support me. I was happy but i was terrified again. i had no connection to this scene anymore how would i dj? i was always confident in my abilities as a dj but this night i was scared more then ever. I drank a few and then played my set. I see in the crowd as i am Spinning the girl i cherish, My friends and my brother and his wife. My nephew and his friend all in the crowd. I freeze... then i press play on my track that was already playing and shut it off, i freaked out and just replayed it from the start. oh well. But with soo much pressure on me that i have never felt before i played a terrible set. They said it was a great set but to me....I felt like i let all these people that never come to see me down. I raised my normally high standard of my self to way higher than i could ever. I couldnt hear the music even though it was sooo loud. I couldn’t think, I couldnt do anything but hope. The crowd stayed moving the whole time, and cheered me on. .. I felt like i wasted all these peoples time by playing a mediocre set. I let them down cause i didnt bring it like i wanted to. I wanted to impress the girl that i cherish... I put so much pressure on my self that i collapsed. I shut down and got drunk and hated my self....

Well i hope this clears things up a bit. You read this and tell me is im just being a dumb ass....

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