#like is birthday depression a thing

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags) #shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes) #i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized) #it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can. #we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

[existencebringsonlypain]

honored for these two to be my first (genuine actual) stuffed animal I've ever had!

#got em for my birthday #when i was like five i had these little bean stuffed cats and a grumpy cat with an audio thing #but they were more “put on your shelf” stuffed animals than “sleep with” stuffed animals #i promise it's not like i had a depressing childhood #i just never wanted to sleep with stuffed animals. plus my bedspace was taken up entirely by me and my books #i slept on my books #a lot #thank god i dont do that anymore #flapjack #waffles #toh flapjack #toh waffles #flapjack toh #waffles toh #flapjacl the bird #waffles the bird #stuffed animals #i just looked to the left of me to see two birds staring me down aggressively and wow that took me out #toh #the owl house #palisman #toh palismen #palismen #toh palisman #toh hunter #hunter toh #hunter deamonne #hunter noceda #hunter #by association

[lunarharp]

qifrey's birthday and silly stuff

#witch hat tag #orufrey #excerpt is from my 30k failing eye fic (link in pinned) which has a birthday scene. i revisited and edited it again and it is now 30k :) #kerplunk thing is because of a mysterious game that shirahama has drawn orufrey playing before and to me it looks like Kerplunk. #a kids' game from this 'Real World' which we live in. card game is Cheat from neopets. but it's a real game. i want to play it for real.... #you lie and cheat in it..hence the name..and 'branston the eyrie you are a bold one' classic neopets tumblr post...no....ok then..... #'hey qif i know we're obsessed with witches' kerplunk but we used to play cheat all the time what happened to that??' #'oh. i just..don't like lying to you. i don't like how it feels.' 'oh haha i guess that's a good thing. ok let's play kerplunk instead ^_^' #'mm. *dying inside crying in the rain in my soul*' #i dislike trying to illustrate my writing. i resent myself for having described oru's captivating mysterious smile so perfectly #i can't draw that. i know what it looks like perfectly in my mind and i am right there on that roof but i can't draw it satisfyingly enough #writing comes from a different part of my brain. there's different things in there. i'm glad i wrote out some of what i can't draw. #then there are things that i don't write or draw but which are still a crucial ongoing facet of my orufrey mindscape. #the Written orufrey the Drawn orufrey and the Unspoken orufrey... three faces of a beautiful irreplaceable jewel in my heart... #could a depressed person do THAT.

[musicalchaos07]

I need Jonathan Byers to survive so he can become some Gen z kid's emotional support weird Gen x boss

#him: I'm your supervisor and authority is fake #also him: spends hours with this depressed 20 year old teaching them traditional photography bc he's that guy in the department #the kid comes out at nonbinary and he's like WTF is that #and then they explain and he's like ok but EVERYONE feels that way about their gender #and they're just looking at him like no no they do not #then he goes to the New York public library and goes home and has a little crisis and Nancy's like it's ok honey #him spouting off the most socialist takes and the kid eating it up with a spoon #he gets invited to the kid's birthday and brings along Nancy #and is just CASUALLY like this is my wife she just finished an expose on fraud within this mega corporation #stranger things #jonathan byers

[sergle]

What are you hoping for birthday wise? 🤔

honestly I wasn't planning on making it this far!!! but as it is, I'd probably ask Birthday Santa to bring me a new mattress

#or plane tickets. #that bitch owes me one tbh I'm making a DEPRESSION in the middle of this thing I need to get a new one #I don't generally have Birthday Wishes but if I did. there's nail polish and earrings I've been avoiding buying. as far as PLANS for the da #I'm just hoping to Relax!! idk I am a boring lass! #I usually order indian food and watch ghostbusters or something like that lol #sergle answers

[citylighten]

can we just talk about how depression makes you feel like a terrible writer even when you know you’re a good writer?

#im not even depressed-depressed i just think i have a case of #~birthday blues~ bc thats coming very soon and im getting older and the thought of things i havent done makes me feel bad #but yeah im like that gifset of kermit sitting around/standing around as i tweak sink or swim's outline #i KNOW what i want to do but depression got me like e_e is this even a good scene choice? maybe i should wait it out

[snixx]

I genuinely feel like I'm rotting with time

#finally cut my birthday cake. four days late. call that depression standard time #how can i get worse at EVERYTHING with time #I'm so tired of being this loser #like i swear i used to be smarter. and prettier. and more fun to be around #wow i turn 19 and start relating to teenage dream love that for me #and the thing is the more i grow the more love i develop for my past selves. it's like I'm regressing with time

[paulmccartneygrindr]

I actually think I do tend to gravitate towards characters named James and I kinda wonder if it's because of latent mommy issues because my mom was named Jamie after her grandpa James who died when I was 4

#my mom was completely fucked up by my grandpas death he was like a dad to her #incidentally i think his death is also why i hate birthdays because he died a few days before mine and so every year around my bday my mom #would get super depressed and it ruined the whole thing for me

[drifloonz]

i think how i write steven as a ""retired cryptid"" is extremely funny bc he still lives in pallet town. just in a walled-off part. he would never willingly reintegrate with society fully but just. imagine if he did at least partially. imagine if some delivery guy came to pallet town and was like asking the residents where a "mr. steven" would live and theyre all like

"The guy on the edge of the town???? The cryptid??? Our local boogeyman???" "yea that one"

#wispy chatters #steven strangled red #big tag ramble on this one i have THOUGHTS i LOVE domesticated cryptid steven #its funnier bc his 'side' of pallet to the west or whatever is walled off #and i imagine its walled off enough to the point where its like hard to climb or jump over ( at least if you're short or weak ) #so its just like. the deliveryguy has to go thru that. and has to text steven like. 'Dude i cant deliver the package like this' #and hes just like 'idk drop it on the other side'. #deliveryman just goes 'i am not legally liable if the package gets damaged ok' and steven just groans #and goes outside to reach his hands above the weird stone gates and picks up the package and just goes back in his house #Imagine domesticated cryptid steven is what im saying. #i also like to imagine he'd scare the residents for fun by ominously sitting at the edge of the stone gates at night #and glaring at people w his red eyes. #for literally no reason other than to scare people bc he probably finds scaring people funny #i call him a retired cryptid but hes still pallet towns local cryptid who is really playing into the role after he stopped actually killing #and also probably when he was too but like less so. #imagine theres like a day dedicated to steven in pallet for some reason where people just offer things near the gate for him to pick up #bc its smth the kids of pallet who were told the story of steven just kind of imagined like #'oh well sometimes you give offerings to legendaries or during ceremonies. or so the cryptid at the edge of town doesnt eat us.' #imagining the residents of pallet or whatever and sometimes other people drop him gifts on like... his birthday or the date of The Incident #and also cuz yk during his depression spiral ppl constantly gave him gifts #i think he'd just be very confused and very conflicted esp if they did make it on the Incident Day bc hes just like. #'i dont want your pity.' but then the day after all of the gifts r gone cuz he took them anyways. #almost all of them r prob given to miki bc its 'her' day unless its food then he splits it between em. and his partner if he has 1. #he just sees it as 'oh cool i dont have to go to the grocery store today. thanks.' #also prob happens on other dates too like christmas/halloween/his birthday #I think if steven was more normally adjusted and his side of pallet was open he'd make his house a haunted house on halloween #and would just scare people for funsiez and if he caught them he just throws them out . maybe give candy n then do tht if theyre a kid.

[trinitea-fics]

I hate when you're very sure you're over something, but then you're awake at 4am and clearly Not Over it yet :/

#something something thinking about how my childhood ex-best friend is the reason i think everyone is gonna leave me eventuality lol #and i havent thought about them in YEARS #but the past 8 months it's been bad again #like. it could justify going back to therapy bad #and its gotten better. at least i dont hate my birthday anymore like i did though all of high school #and like. okay it basically stems from how i was the only one who put in effort into maintaining our friendship after #we went to different high school #and they would hang out with the other memeber of our friend trio but NEVER would ask me #and things then slowly fell apart #and that period of my life was when i was the most depressed and heartbroken #it's so much better now #cuz i realized #“well. i cant stop people from leaving me. the only thing i can do is be a good friend and trust them not to break my heart like ***** did” #cuz like. im still best friends with my kindergarten bestie. so like #***** is an outlier and should not be counted #and most of my friends are extremely introverted or on anti-depressants. so i dont mind being the one who makes plans #but sometimes its 4am and the thoughts GET TO ME #sigh sigh sigh #“***** is an outlier and should not be counted” damn. that actually does help. #thanks 4am brain <3 #unfortunately its 5am and im too awake now rip #ive had friends comment over the last year about how much they appreciate the effort i put in #why can't i just cling onto THAT #sigh sigh #it'll get better

[temeraire]

i need something niceys im having such a bummer time rn

#bummer tags incoming -> sorry for getting my gross sad all over you if you read them #my mums pretty sick with two things rn and my dad is.. my dad. my grandmas in hospital again and her memory is getting confused #im lonely and i have like one friend irl and i just want a hug and im so conscious of how naive and childish all my problems are #and then some people in online games are mean to me and its just the little thing that tips me over the edge and makes me cry a bit #so i feel really stupid even More now bc thats such a . babyish thing to do :( im so embarrassed by how easy it is to hurt my feelings #or make me upset or angry or sad when i should get over it. i should have thicker skin but i dont im just Really Bummed Out Right Now Pals #monologues #i always seem to nosedive my mental health around this time which. (a) sucks bc october is when my birthday is so thats a BAD present #and (b) seasonal depression is meant to happen when youre going into WINTER not when when you go into SUMMER. why this happen 2 me :( #im just a little guy :(

[maybege]

.

#you know what #I’m gonna say it #sometimes birthdays can be daunting and very depressing for people and I completely understand #but I also want you to know that if you had a not so nice birthday this year #or if your depression was hitting hard or you felt like an imposter or you weren’t where you thought you were #please please pretty please remember that next year your birthday can look totally different #and by that I don’t mean that all your problems will go away or you’re suddenly ‘cured’ of depression #I mean that maybe next year you’ll look at the friends celebrating with you and realize how loved you are #maybe you’ll be surprised with flowers or maybe you’ll get yourself a beautiful bouquet and can look at yourself in the mirror #and confidently say that maybe you’re not the perfect version you aimed to be last year #but you are alive and the leaves are turning red and the bird are chirping and the sunrises are beautiful #and maybe this gives you just a little bit of hope bc lord knows I needed that last year #and I’m here to tell you #even if your problems don’t dissolve into thin air #but things can and will get better #your will prevail #and I’m so fucking proud of and rooting for you #and with that #happy fucking birthday to me

[antisocialxconstruct]

I feel like my 30th birthday is somehow simultaneously careening toward me at high speed and slowly stalking me through the tall grass and I am a small beast with no idea how to respond

#it's in three days but this first week of january was at LEAST twelve days long #i don't have the kind of baggage that makes me dread birthdays on principle but this year is really just like. ugh. UGH. #and it's not even the Turning Thirty thing it's just... everything else in my life makes the prospect of a birthday really depressing #what do you do for such a big milestone when you have no money and none of the immediate people in your life want to be around you

[srkgirlblogger]

.

#the day was going so well until my mom decided to be mean to me for no reason in a piblic space where i was already feeling scared and over #stimulated. i wanted to try out the skateboards in decathlon but there were too many people and i got scared. and my mom suddenly said that #the skateboard that she was going to buy for me after/on my birthday. she had decided to buy now. since we were alr in theshop and i said no #way bec i hadnt decided which one i wanted yet and i was soo panicked. and then after some time when id calmed down a bit and was gonna try #to skate anyways she started questioning me abt when i planned on peacticing and where i was gonna do it and i obviously just started saying #things that i thought she would approve of. and then she told me i didnt have the time management skills or resolve to make it work. and she #just kept on passive aggressively bullying me until i just couldnt do it anymore and i told her i wanted go leave the store bc she was #spoiling the mood. and then she started bullying me louder and she told me to stop blaming her bc she was only asking me a question and she #didn't want to waste any more money on things that i wasnt gonna do even though ive wanted a skateboard for years now and have been actively #asking her for months. and i just lost my emergy and my appetite and i wanted to leave the mall and go home but insteaf she gook us to a #bagel place that ive been trying to get her to take us even though i felt like throwing up before we even left the mall and i told her i #didnt want to go there. and my brother even told her that she was ruining things for everyone. and he still ended up blaming me in the end. #but whatever. i kept getting flashbacks to insanely traumatic moments where shed yelled at or bullied me or cornered me or tried to #embarass me in public. and this is most likely my last year at home. and my last year of childhood. and its all going to be remembered in my #brain as underwhelming and depressing and mostly horrible. and im going to leave home and never cone back and my last year at home is going #to be just as shitty as every other year and ill just have to deal with that and try to build something good and new and kind when i leave #she shouldnt speak to her own children like this. she shouldnt be looking for reasons to make things miserable for me all the time like this #i should study. my head hurts. my entire body hurts so bad #delete later

[seagullcharmer]

had been planning to do some dale art since tomorrow is. his day. but oops (laura mode)

#libra.txt #like. did the lineart for the idea i had for him (family photo with his parents + mr rabbit) #but then got laura brain #and to be fair this laura art is coming along REALLY WELL #especially for my right shoulder now cramping. lol. haha. aaa #oh well. when have i ever gotten things done right for rusty lake #accidentally got back into it in october but didn't participate in laketober. now it's dale's bday and i haven't drawn any fun dale art #(which is fine tbh bc i don't celebrate birthdays and don't want to give an impression that i would) #idk. whatever #laura my beloved....... #for as much as i didn't care for underground blossom and don't particularly like paradox i really like laura #seasons is a good game!! #and seeing her in bob's dreams in the white door! interesting!!! #i want to know more abt laura. underground blossom was fun but unfulfilling tbh #we know so little abt her!!!!! #okay so she's Depression Barbie(tm) but like. who is she!!!!!! #i mean i guess i can't really expect rusty lake to give us much #like.... none of the female characters are treated particularly well.... #rose kinda skates through but even her game was focused on albert instead! #doesn't matter. just means i can have as much fun as i want in the sandbox (my brain)

[manaosdeuwu]

don't sad emoji at me when I tell you I won't be celebrating my bday. I'm verrry tired and want to rest. I'm not mentally and physically There to organize/participate in a bday celebration. I hate having to explain that jjgjjgjdjajdj AGH

#it just makes me a bit mad when friends I've had for over nine years still ask me things like these #like.... I have not celebrated my birthdays MANY times. you should know its not a depression im sad im going to kms thing! #whatever. i just like lazing around #nero habla