#like imagine hearing that to your face? that your hard work and education credentials don’t matter at all when it comes to that decision

[violet-knox]

Hey, can you do Adult Severus/Muggle. Reader finds Severus and takes it upon herself to look after him? Can it be fluff and cute af, please?

Long Forgotten

Pairing: Severus Snape x Muggle!Reader

Summary: You’re infatuated by the man in black who hangs around the school where you work until one day you approach him out of concern.

Word Count: 6112

A/N: So I got a bit carried away with this one. The fluff comes a bit after and in this story they don’t actually end up together (yet), it’s rather slow paced, but it was a lot of fun to write. I may end up doing  part two for this one when I get the chance. I feel so unsatisfied 😅

Your stomach growled and you knew it was time to pack up the essays you’d been grading and head home for dinner. But once again, the shadow hidden behind the tree at the edge of the playground wiped any thought you had of leaving the classroom. The same man, always dressed in black, always dragging his feet like he held the world on his shoulders, had been lurking around the edge of the school grounds every day for a little over a week now and the sight of him always sent shivers up your spine. You were wary of his presence, always caught in the corner of your eye as you stayed behind in your classroom despite better judgment. 

Common sense told you to speak to someone of the man’s daily visits to the school, yet you were reluctant to say a word to anyone. He would always show up well after the students had left and he’d never wander anywhere past that tree. He didn’t seem like a threat to you, his sadness instead reflected by the way he’d hang his head low, one hand on the tree trunk, sinking down to the ground as he continued to stare at it. You knew he had a story, a reason for being there but you’d never once thought of approaching him to ask, fear striking you back. You were conflicted and so you stayed the observer, watching him from afar, his movements never changing, his intentions never present. He was a mystery that you weren’t sure you’d ever solve. 

“You’re still here?” Looking up from the desk you saw Ms. Simmons at the door of her classroom with a smile as large as her optimism. She was such a sweet woman, under appreciated by her students and misunderstood by the staff. But you were happy to have been assigned to her, helping and learning from her. Most of your mates from college complained about the teacher they got placed with but not you. Ms. Simmons was the one good thing about the miserable placement you got: the worst ranking elementary school in Cokeworth. Many saw it as a joke of a school, yet children of varying households would attend it nonetheless.

“I’m just finishing up the essay’s they handed in today,” you informed her. She walked over to her desk where you were sitting and pulled open one of the drawers and reached inside. You watched her pull out an empty flask and stuff it into her giant purse, shattering your perfect, innocent view of her.   

“I’ve worked here since the day this school has opened and never have I seen someone as dedicated to work with these students as you are.” She spoke with such glee in her voice but when you looked back into her eyes, all that optimism you’d previously admired sizzled away, replaced with the burden of working as an underpaid teacher in such a horrible school district. Your eyes drifted away from her face, unable to take the sight, your mind rejecting what you saw as your probable future. Instead you found your thoughts returning back to the man in black as you watched him hunching over the tree with one hand leaning on it’s trunk as he slowly kneeled down to the ground, his head hung as low as ever.

“I’m just delighted to have the opportunity to work with you.” Your words flowed like you were reading off a script, your mind completely detached from where you were, wondering why that man was so obsessed over that tree.

“Well don’t stay too long.” You snapped back in time to watch Ms. Simmons walk around you and back to the door. “Have a nice night!”

“You too,” you said, trying to reciprocate her fake kindness as she disappeared down the narrow school halls. Sitting back in the chair, you tossed the pen in your hand back on the desk in defeat. This job wasn’t worth it and you’d been lying to yourself, believing it was anything but a waste of time. You’d only gone into education thinking you could make a difference in the sad meagre town you grew up in when in reality, any impact you could possibly have wouldn’t make a shred of difference to anyone.

With a loud groan, you closed your eyes and threw your head back in frustration. What would you do if you quit this job? Four years of college down the drain and even if you tried to move to a different city, London perhaps, you knew your credentials wouldn't hold up amongst the competition that awaited you there. You had no choice; you had to stay in Cokeworth and make what you could of the path you chose, else you’d have to back pedal completely and find a way to head down a different road. 

Looking back towards the window, you looked for the man in black, trying to get your mind off your own life because pondering over the mystery of someone else's was better than dealing with your reality. The man’s figure was nowhere to be found when you looked at the tree. Squinting you thought perhaps his shadow had merged with the trunk he’d been sulking over for so long, but you still couldn’t catch a glimpse of him. He couldn’t have left. You knew that because you’d always refused to leave before he did. He was the reason you’d eat dinner so late, why you’d been living off of four to five hours of sleep every night. Curiosity taking over any sense of logic, you stood and walked towards the window, realizing you couldn’t see him from the desk because he’d somehow found himself lying on the ground. Taking a step forward, you placed a hand on the window, your brows furrowed as you tried to make out any sense of movement, any indication the man was alright but you were given no such luck. 

You stood there a moment, praying he would move but as the seconds slowed, your heart beat faster and your concern for the stranger grew. Against better judgment, you turned on your heel and ran out the door. The sounds of your quick footsteps echoed down the empty hall as you pushed open the door leading to the playground and ran towards the man, slowing as you approached him. He was in the exact same position you’d seen him from the classroom window but as you drew nearer, you couldn’t fathom why he was unconscious on the ground. 

“Hello?” You tried to speak to the man. No response. He looked young, perhaps even a bit younger than you and you couldn’t spot any wounds on him though the black trousers and jacket surely didn’t help with visibility. “Are you alright?”

No response. Stepping a little closer, you kneeled in front of him, your hand hovering to reach for his shoulder but you hesitated. This was a bad idea. You didn’t know the man and for all you knew, he could have been stalking you this entire time, peering into the classroom window which was much more exposed than you thought it was from here. 

“Can you hear me?” You tried again, your hand pressed against the thin material of his jacket, gently squeezing his shoulder. No response. You swallowed hard, your chest heaving for air. What were you to do? You’d never trained for something like this, never been told what to do in a situation like this. Desperately, you peered over the man and his surroundings, no open wounds found but his chest still rose and fell with every breath he took; he was alive at least.

Standing, you looked at the tree the man had spent so long near and saw an engraving, one that was clearly done a while ago, the wood browning as the tree healed from its carving. Judging by the height and sloppy handwriting, you assumed the two names that were spelt were written by children: Lily and Sev. Sev, what an odd name, or perhaps it was a nickname of some sort. Strange how you’d never noticed it before, but there was no time for your curiosity right now. Sprinting back to the school, you made your way to the office, panting as you picked up the phone and called the police, informing them of what had happened. 

With the assurance that an ambulance would be by within a few minutes, you put down the phone and made your way back to the man, immediately peering at his chest to see that he was still breathing. The women on the phone had asked if the man had a pulse but you were unsure. You’d seen people check a person’s pulse in movies, but you’d never done it yourself. You felt absolutely useless talking to that woman, unable to tell her a single thing, not even a proper description of the man. 

Peering at the man’s face through the hair that showered him, your eyes ventured down to his neck, his hair long enough to cover any skin that wasn’t cloaked by the black button up he was wearing under his jacket. Cautiously, you moved a hand to ever so gently brush away his hair and expose his face and neck. It felt as though you were defusing a bomb, fingers so gentle, gliding against his skin which seemed colder than it should have been. Pulling your hand away, you looked back down at him, realizing how awkward a move you’d just made. He wasn’t anyone you knew, yet you touched him as though you were waking up to your long-life partner in the morning.  

It was odd seeing his face for the first time after recognizing him from afar for so long. He wasn’t anything like you imagined, his features though prominent, grew much softer the longer you looked at him. His eyelashes were long and thick, much like his hair and eyebrows, his lips were thin, his cheeks sharp along with his jaw and his nose was hooked. Looking at him now, you weren’t sure how old he was. You’d initially assumed he was in his early twenties but something about him made you think otherwise. It was as though he’d lived a life long enough to stretch over a century, but you knew that wasn’t the case, it couldn’t have been. 

Shaking your head, you tried to get your mind off of filling in all those questions you’d wondered about him this past week and reached over, pressing two fingers on his neck, searching for a pule, unsure of what you were truly looking for. No resp-

You gasped at the sudden grasp on your wrist, the charcoal eyes of the man staring back at you as his nails dug into your skin. Your heart nearly stopped as you looked at his stern expression, his body too weak to project the alarm on his face. 

“Are-Are you alright?” You croaked, your throat suddenly dry as you tried to pull your hand away from him. His grasp was too strong despite his obvious need for medical attention. Where was that damn ambulance!?

“Who are you?” His voice was raspy, like there was a frog in his throat but his tone confirmed he was on the defensive, unable to let go of your hand in fear of your intentions. His words at least answered one question floating around in your mind; he hadn’t come around the school this past week to stalk you, he was likely here for personal reasons, something to do with that tree and the engraving it carried. 

“I-I work at the school, I-I'm a student teacher,” you said, reluctant to give your name, still completely clueless as to who he was. The man looked down at the school you gestured to, his expression suddenly changing as if he had some sort of awkward realization. “I think you’re hurt.” 

You could still not identify the source of his wound, but people don’t just collapse, they don’t struggle to speak or move if there isn’t something wrong with them. You wanted to help the man despite his less than friendly attitude towards you, but you still had no idea what to do. 

“I’m fine,” he replied, finally letting go of your hand only to press his palms into the ground and try to stand up. Instinctively, you grabbed his arm, trying to keep him from falling as his legs shook failing at supporting him. He was skinny, his limbs looking like twigs the kids would play with, pretending they were swords. How he’d managed to sit up was beyond you. 

“I don’t think you should be moving.” You protested as he tried pushing you away, too weak to counter your own strength. “I called for an ambulance. They should be here any minute.”

“No,” he said all too quickly. “I don’t need them.”

His sudden reaction to the mention of an ambulance was rather alarming. Who would turn down help when they so obviously needed it? Even if it seemed that the ambulance would never arrive, at least he could have found comfort in knowing help was on its way.

“But-”

“Leave.” His tone turned cold as he summoned every fibre of strength left in his body to push you away. “I don’t need you either.”

You looked at him, stunned by his attitude. Sure, you were a stranger, but in his position, you wouldn’t have questioned taking any sort of help from anyone. His body trembled under your touch as he tried to get away from you, like if he’d stayed here any longer, all his secrets would be spilled, exposing themselves to you. You let go of him as he got to his feet, his body immediately seeking aid, throwing itself onto the tree to keep himself upright. You heard a low groan escape his lips as his entire upper body placed its dependence on the tree he’d been obsessed with this past week.

“I can’t just leave you here,” you said, your hands grasping him to ease the pressure off his frail  legs. He seemed to finally accept your aid at first until you felt him regain some of his balance enough to push you away once again.

“I told you-”

“I’m not leaving!” you exclaimed in protest, your grip on him returning stronger than before. Clear shock was written all over his face as he looked at you blankly, wide eyed. You’d surprised yourself with your own assertive demeanour and clearly it had the same effect on him. You were inclined to give credit to your position as a teacher for your need to help the man, but it was more than that. He was a book you wanted to read, one filled with sadness and loneliness. You could see in his eyes the abandonment he’d been through, something you were all too familiar with. He wasn’t used to depending on anyone, thus the resistance he showed you now, your own determination countering it as you insisted on providing him aid, any sort of aid, no matter how little. “Let me at least help get you inside”.

You gestured to the school, your grip on his arm loosening when he finally stopped resisting you. You looked at him and you felt time stop, something new appearing in the depths of the darkness in his eyes. Hope was a powerful feeling, one that showed up in many forms. You’d felt it the day you met Ms. Simmons and now, you could see it emulated in the eyes of the man in black. 

“No. Not here.” Whatever spell grasped you to his mind was broken when he looked back towards the school and as he spoke, you could sense a drastic change in his tone. He was much more relaxed, much warmer towards you, a sense of trust growing between you for reasons you couldn’t understand. “I-I need to go home.”

His lack of energy emulated itself in his voice. He seemed to have accepted the situation he was in, yet still seemed reluctant to accept proper help. There was only so much you could do for him, a hospital being the best place for him to be not his home. 

“We need to get you to a hospital,” you protested his request, feeling rather nervous about his odd behaviour. It was human to accept help when offered so why was he so adamant on rejecting it? 

“Please, if you want to help me, leave me be.” He sounded desperate, as if it was imperative for you to leave him to his own demise, like he’d die if you dare give him any aid. “I cannot go to a hospital. They cannot help me there.”

“Why?” His words told you one thing while his tone spoke the opposite. He’d been claiming he didn’t need you, that he didn’t need anyone’s help yet you sensed something entirely different from the way he spoke, the way he eased into your touch when he began to trust you.  

“That is beyond your concern, now please let me go,” he said, his body making no motion to push you away either out of protest for his words or he was simply too weak to do as he wished. You couldn’t tell. His voice was still so raspy, even more so than before now that he’d started to let go of that defensive behaviour he’d taken with you. 

“If you insist on going home, then at least let me drive you. My car is just over there.” You pointed towards the parking lot to the side of the school, not too far from where you stood. The man looked over to where you pointed and took a moment before hesitantly nodding in agreement to your suggestion. Slowly, you helped him walk down the hill to cross the school park, making your way to your car. You opened the passenger side door first and helped him in before jogging to the other side of the car. 

“Your seatbelt,” you reminded the man, pointing to it as you fastened your own. Surely if he had enough energy to push you away, he would have enough energy to clip in a seatbelt. The man looked at you with that blank expression again before he rolled his eyes and slowly reached for the seatbelt. Funny how the man who seemed to be on the brink of death not moments ago continued to elude any sort of aid, even if it was from something as simple as a seatbelt. “Where are we going?”

“Spinner’s End,” he mumbled, the click of his seatbelt your queue to turn on the engine and leave the parking lot. You kept your eyes on the road but could feel the man’s black eyes on you, like he was studying you as you’d studied him over the past week. Fate must have a twisted sense of humour if this was where you were meant to be, driving an injured stranger to his home after pondering over the mystery that surrounded him the past few days. 

“You know where Spinner’s End is?” The man asked, clearly surprised you hadn’t asked for directions. 

“I used to live in the neighbourhood when I was growing up,” you explained, knowing most people in this town would rather pretend like the area around Spinner’s End didn’t exist before acknowledging there were actual people leaving there. It was reputations like that that made you adamant on changing the town, on trying to impact its youth. But of course, it was reputations like that of Spinner’s End that would live past the lifetime of the city itself. 

“I’ve never seen you before,” he said, his voice sounding a little weaker but at least he seemed to be relaxing in the car instead of fighting to get away from you under that tree. 

“You say that as if you know every single person on Spinner’s End,” you said, smiling at his claim, trying to lighten the mood a bit after everything that had happened. For a short moment you felt like you were driving with a friend, someone you’d known for years but the awkward silence thickening the air broke that illusion all too quickly. You looked over towards the man and saw that blank expression on his face again, like his mind had wandered somewhere else as he stared at you. “I-umm, I moved away when I was old enough, went to school in London and came back to teach here.”

No response. The silence was quite deafening, but the awkwardness had begun to fade when he took his eyes off you, choosing to stare out the window instead, leaning his head back on the headrest. The feeling of friendly company returned as your grip on the steering wheel loosened. You didn’t mind the silence, for some reason, it felt soothing with him sitting beside you and you didn’t even know the man’s name. 

“You chose to work here?” His delayed reaction took you a bit by surprise, but you found it rather warming. There was something about him, something about your dynamic with him you couldn’t quite get your finger on. All you knew was that you needed to find out more. You needed to find out more about him and why you felt such a connection to him.  

“I wanted to make a difference,” you shrugged in response, feeling as though your story wasn’t interesting enough to go into. You arrived at his home a few minutes later, spending the rest of the car ride accompanied by the man in black and the settling silence that surrounds you. Turning off the engine, you undid your seatbelt, hearing the sound of his own coming undone. Quickly opening the door, you ran over to help him out of the car, the man already stepping out, trying to get to the door on his own but his body was still so weak, still so fragile. 

“Do you need-”

“No-” He’d rejected your help before you could even offer it, trying and failing to get to his porch by himself. Neither of you said a word as you helped him up to his door, carefully letting him go, watching as he reached inside his pocket to fish out his keys. 

“I-I can take it from here,” he said as he went to unlock his door. You stood there like a rejected puppy wanting to come home but the man had barely opened the door enough for him to slip through, leaving you on the other side of the door. 

“My-my name is (Y/N), I-I realized I never introduced myself,” you said quickly before he could close the door on you. You didn’t want to leave him, whether it was because of the infinite amount of questions floating around in your head or simply to make sure he would survive the night you didn’t care. All you knew was that you couldn’t leave him, this wasn’t the end of your interaction with him. He wasn’t going to close the door never to be seen by you again.   

“I- umm-” The man had frozen when you spoke, the door neither open nor closed and for a second you thought perhaps he’d obliged to you offering your company. “Thank you for your help.” 

His words rung in your ears, his tone stuck in your mind as you watched his cloaked self disappear behind the door. He was gone, but your worry for him remained. You heard the sound of the lock clicking into place, followed by a loud thump. You stepped forward, placing one hand on the door, the other balled into a fist, your knuckles pressed against the etched wood, ready to request entrance. But it was your heart that pounded instead, begging him to open the door, to let you know he would be okay. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You were tired of being pushed away and you were afraid of what might happen if he put any more effort into rejecting your help. Afraid you may do more harm than good, you slowly took a step back, trying your best to let go of that compulsive need to care for others until you found yourself back in your car. 

Looking back at the house, you examined each window, trying to find any sign of life, anything to let you know he hadn’t dropped dead the second he locked the door. The house looked back at you offering you nothing but more questions. The place looked like it was uninhabited for years. Like the owners had decided one day the house wasn’t worth caring for, that it was a waste of space and that abandonment was the only solution. 

Against instinct, you put your keys in the ignition and turned on the car engine. A small sigh escaped your lips as you put the car into first gear, slowly pressing down on the accelerator to drive away. Your eyes shifted between the road and your rear-view mirror, your mind still hoping the house would come alive but you were given no such luck. 

Sleep didn’t find you that night. Your mind instead continued to replay the events of that evening over and over again. The more you thought about it, the worse you felt about leaving him there. More than once you contemplated driving back over there if not to simply observe him from afar like you had this past week at the school.

The sun finally rose, and you immediately jumped up to shower and make yourself a cup of coffee. You made your way to the only supermarket you knew would be open this early in the morning and went shopping for a few items before hurrying back to your car and making your way to the man in black on Spinner’s End. You once again found yourself frozen in place, staring at the forgotten house, waiting for it to come alive. Nothing had changed from last night, not one single movement was found through the windows that remained shut. The house was locking what it held away from the rest of the world, never to be seen by anyone or anything.

Despite its uninviting vitality, you still pushed open your car door, locking it as you gripped the paper bag in your hand tightly. Your heartbeat grew heavier with every step you took towards the house until you felt it stop the second you found yourself in front of the door. Once again, your knuckles were pressed against the wood, waiting for your queue to rap. Your heart settled in your chest, quiet in anticipation as it approved your request and let you knock on the door four times. Knock, knock, knock, knock. 

No response. You could feel the protest in your chest, the ache from the silence of the morning but you made no motion to walk away. Instead, you tried again: knock, knock, knock, knock.  

Was it you? Had he seen you from the window, identified your car and decided you weren’t worth opening the door for? Or had you made the grave mistake of leaving him to his injuries last night? You were no longer concerned with knowing the man, of having your questions answered, you needed to know he was alright, that you hadn’t killed a man by fulfilling his request of being left alone. 

 Knock, knock, knock-

The door opened and your mind drew blank. Staring back were the same black eyes you’d spent all night thinking about, his expression blank once more, his hair the same stringy black streaks, his cloak removed to show his lanky body. 

“It’s (Y/N). From-from last night,” you croaked out, your throat suddenly dry. His face softened when you spoke, the door opening just a little wider. “I just wanted to see how you were doing and give you this.”’

You showed him the bag in your hand, but his eyes kept lingering on yours. He stared at you, into your soul, reading your empty mind, flipping through your emotions like a book, or at least, that’s how it felt. His stare wasn’t one you’d ever seen before. He looked at you like you were a puzzle to be solved, a mystery to be discovered. Like he was seeking for something he could never really find. Your thoughts were interrupted by his gaze shifting down to your hands, his face giving away nothing but more questions. 

“It’s not much. A few home remedies, some tea and a first aid kit,” you tried to answer whatever questions were lingering in his own mind, hoping he would return the favour as you took a closer look at the man. He looked perfectly healthy, not a single sign of injury, like yesterday never happened. The way he looked at you now like he was shuffling the puzzle pieces in frustration, unable to figure you out. You began to wonder if you’d indeed hallucinated the entire evening and we're intruding on the home of a complete stranger.

“Why would you give me this?” he asked. 

“You were hurt yesterday, or so it seemed. And I-I just thought since you didn’t want to go to the hospital you could use something to help you recover.” You tried to explain, to justify your presence not just to him but to yourself. Of course, you hadn’t spoken the whole truth, leaving out the fact you felt drawn to him, that you wanted to figure him out, listen to his story. But it didn’t matter as it seemed your words had eased him enough to open the door for you. 

“Would-would you like some tea?” His offer took you back. He’d been so cold yesterday, his immediate reaction when he first met you to push you away and now here he was, inviting you in for tea. It was now your turn to stare into his eyes, frozen in the moment. Loneliness and despair stared back at you. You felt bad for the man as he started to open himself to you, his expression finally displaying a hint of his emotions. With a smile, you took a step inside, watching as he closed the door behind you, gesturing for you to take a seat on the old and forgotten couch. 

“Why are you so insistent on helping me?” he asked as you placed the bag on the table in front of you, the man taking a seat on the armchair adjacent to you. He was trying to solve you again, his eyes narrow, his hands folded in front of his chin.

“I-I don’t know really. I’ve seen you around the school before and when I saw you weren’t moving yesterday, I thought something horrible had happened.” you said, finding his glare rather intimidating. You sank back in your seat, your back hitting the couch as you placed your hands on your lap. “I just wanted to help.”

He looked away from you, his hands falling onto the armrests. His defences had fallen once more, your words somehow assuring him of your intentions. He believed you and you weren’t sure why. 

“Thank you,” he said, speaking to his lap more so than to you. His reluctance to accept help was rather astounding. He seemed hurt somehow, as if showing his gratitude to you would be to show weakness, to admit he was human. “I haven’t… It’s-it’s been a while since anyone has shown me kindness.”

You looked at him in surprise. Yes, the people didn’t take kindly to those living in this part of the town but surely he didn’t mean what he said. “That’s an awfully sad thing to say.” 

You spoke softly, feeling rather nervous, not wanting to offend the man in any way. He however didn’t seem to care much for your thoughts, his eyes meeting yours once again. 

“Perhaps,” he said simply, letting the silence settle in as you both sat there, wondering about each other. 

“Have you lived here long?” You’d shifted through your many questions, trying to pick the best to ask without sounding horribly eerie.

“I grew up here,” he said, indulging you in the small talk you’d requested, but his answer only kept you guessing, feeling rather excited as you began to wonder if the name ‘Sev’ from the tree back at the school belonged to him or someone he knew. “And like you, I’ve recently returned.”

“And you chose to return here?” You giggled, referencing the comment he’d made last night about your job choice. The man smiled in response, a singular chuckle puffing out his chest. Your own grin grew, his elated expression contagious. He looked rather sweet in this moment, the harshness of his defensive nature gone, the sadness in his eyes replaced with temporary joy, his smile softening his features. You felt like you could speak with him all day in that moment, but it was gone all too soon, his smile fading along with your own as his anguish returned.

“I needed a reminder.” he said, his eyes fixed on his lap, his hair falling in front of his face, the curtains closing on that brief moment of bliss you’d found with him. 

“A reminder?” You asked hesitantly. Silence fell once again and you felt the air thicken, the room around you somehow darker than before. The man slowed his breathing as he stared blankly into his lap, keeping his face hidden behind his curtain of hair. 

“I’ve recently lost someone.” His voice was as low as his posture, his shoulders hunched defensively as if he wasn’t worthy of receiving comfort for his loss. 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” you said simply, knowing nothing you could say would help ease his mind from whatever pain he felt. You sat there a while, waiting patiently for him to collect himself, the curtains opening not long after, a look of wonder and empathy meeting you. You happily eased into a different subject, speaking of your time as a teacher, hoping he would bring up the story behind the engraving on the tree but it was clear whatever memory attached to that story was too painful to hash up right now. You still indulged him in some small talk until you realized it was time to head to work.

“I’m sorry. I invited you in for tea and neglected to make you any,” the man looked guilty, liked he’d offended you in some way but you simply smiled, preferring the conversation you’d had over awkwardly sipping tea anyways. 

“That’s alright,” you chuckled. Turning around, you faced him as he opened the front door. Taking a small step forward, you felt the heat rise to your face as you tried to summon up any courage you had left. “Perhaps you could make it up to me this evening?”

You could hear nothing but your heart beating, waiting for his answer, fear that you overstepped bubbling up in your mind. But you waited patiently and watched that blank expression of his soften, hope staring back at you as he nodded in agreement. Your smile returned to your face as you told him you’d be by tonight after work. As you stepped out of the house, the man spoke, turning your attention back to him one last time.

“My name is Severus.” Sev. “Severus Snape.”

Your mind was wiped clean, replaced with an abundance of new questions, Who’s Lily? Was she the one he’d lost? Is she the reason he’d hung around your school this past week? Is she the reason you’d met this mysterious man?

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Severus Snape.” Your smile stretched from ear to ear and you felt a spark of joy ignite in your chest, one you thought would never return since you’d come back to Cokeworth. Extending out your hand to him, you felt his thin, ice cold fingertips graze your palm as he captured it. You walked back to your car and Severus Snape, the man in black, kept his door open as he watched you buckle in. He was too far to read his face yet not far enough to know how he felt; serene, rejuvenated, content. For the first time in a long time, you were happy to go to work, looking forward to the day as you were sure he must have felt. For the first time in a long time, you’d pushed aside your worries and focussed on the present. You’d found yourself again and all it took was a simple conversation with a mysterious stranger.

@raven-hopeflyte @sleepysnapesnake @wanderingtrails @darkthought15 @bush-viper-cutie @fluffymadamina @dracos-mudblood @mitchiesdungeon @severuslovebot

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[kaden19851126-blog]

0 rout of Iron Rangers

0 rout of iron rangers I said one of the biggest reasons we here is because of you and how you stepped up the past three weeks. The City full backs gave a good account of themselves but when both were cautioned in the shadows of half time it suggested the floodgates were starting to creak. I took another day to sit with my thoughts. Surely the most player thing I ever did was sing "Red Light Special" to a girl while sitting at my family's kitchen table on the house phone hoping no one else in the family would hear me. Despite his messy split with the Giants, Coughlin is still one of the top football minds out there. The shot bounced its was back coach factory outlet online to the feet of Press who proceded to take another shot that ricocheted again out of the hands of Bledsoe. Crawford and Carlos Santana on December 3, 2018.. They tell you what to do and how to do it: they dont ask you if you could do it. He also worked as an assistant activities director at Eden Prairie (Minn.) 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[douchebagbrainwaves]

HERE'S WHAT I JUST REALIZED ABOUT A

Good programmers often want to be doctors than who want to meet him. But I think they pay more because the company would go out of business and the people would be dispersed.1 The phrase seemed almost grammatically ill-formed. We started Viaweb with $10,000 in seed money from our friend Julian.2 The surprising thing about throwaway programs is that, like the temporary buildings built at so many American universities during World War II, they often don't get thrown away. That's what makes sex and drugs so dangerous. When you're launching planes they have to be trimmed properly; the engines have to be at full power; the pilot has to be the series A stage. Which means if it becomes the norm for founders to retain board control after a series A is clearly heard-of. The use of credentials was an attempt to axiomatize computation.3 When you're deciding what to do.

This is too big a problem to solve. Hackers share the surgeon's secret pleasure in popping zits.4 But the two phenomena rapidly fused to produce a principle that now seems obvious: paying energetic young people market rates, and getting correspondingly high performance from them.5 I can't draw.6 How would you do it? Why haven't we just been measuring actual performance? In the earliest stage, because that's where the money is. Misleading the child is just a series of web pages. Think about where credentialism first appeared: in selecting candidates for large organizations. And once you apply that kind of thing for fun. Most smart people don't do that very well.

I learned it hadn't been so neat, and the problem now seems to be fixed. It was small and powerful and cheap, as promised. Why haven't we just been measuring actual performance?7 As a lower bound, you have to do the unpleasant jobs. But all it would have taken in the beginning would have been for two Google employees to focus on the wrong things for six months, and the reactions that spread from person to person in an audience are always affected by the reactions of those around them, and the PR campaign surrounding the launch has the side effect of making them celebrities. Others are more candid, and admit their financial models require them to own a certain percentage of each company. One way to describe this situation is to say that you despised your job, but a return. Till now we'd been planning to use If you can read this, I should be working. I've been able to undo a lie I was told, a lot of propaganda gets slipped into the curriculum in the name of simplification.8 So most hackers will tend to use whatever language they were first written in, because it's painful to observe the gap between them. I were a better speaker. After all, pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

My grandmother told us an edited version of the change I'm seeing.9 When you scale animals you can't just keep everything in proportion. I believe they conceal because of deep taboos. But I don't think the bank manager really did. The trick of maximizing the parts of your job that you like can get you from architecture to product design, but not like it used to. The very idea is foreign to what most of us, it's not that inaccurate to regard VCs as sources of money.10 They're all competing for a slice of a fixed amount of deal flow, by encouraging hackers who would have gotten jobs to start their own startups instead.11

So if you're going to clear these lies out of your head, you're going to be slightly influenced by prestige, so if the two seem equal to you, you probably have more genuine admiration for the less prestigious one.12 They just don't want to be optimistic and skeptical about two different things. Maybe this would have been for two Google employees to focus on first, we try to figure that out.13 For millennia that was the canonical example of a job someone had to do was roll forward along the railroad tracks of destiny.14 Then the important question became not how to make money that you can't do it by accident.15 When we were kids I used to think I wanted to know everything. They want to feel safe, and death is the ultimate threat. They may have to be optimistic about the possibility of solving the problem, but skeptical about the value of the work they'd done. But we all know the amounts being raised in series A rounds creep inexorably downward. I usually write it out beforehand. We compete more with employers than VCs.16

Java. They go to school, which was dictated largely by the hardware available in the late 1950s. That's what board control means in practice. When my father was working at Westinghouse in the 1970s, he had people working for him who made more than he did, because they'd been there longer. I read it, and look bold. To do something well you have to make it something that they themselves use. We can get rid of or make optional a lot of propaganda gets slipped into the curriculum in the name of simplification. Children of kings and great magnates were the first to grow up in. At the moment I'd almost say that a hacker about to write a profiler that would automatically detect inefficient algorithms.

I remember because it was so surprising to hear someone say that in front of a class. What popularity it retains dates back to the 1960s and 1970s, when it was the scripting language of a popular system. The organic growth guys, sitting in their garage, feel poor and unloved. She said they'd been sitting reading one day, and when you're delivering a prewritten talk makes it harder to engage with an audience. We started Viaweb with $10,000 in seed money from our friend Julian. But I am daily waiting for the line to collapse. When a man runs off with his secretary, is it always partly his wife's fault? It's also wise, early on, when they're trying to find the function you need than to write the code yourself.

Notes

Content is information you don't even want to learn to acknowledge it.

The dialog on Beavis and Butthead was composed largely of these people never come face to face with the founders' advantage if it were Can you pass the salt? Actually Emerson never mentioned mousetraps specifically. You have to factor out some knowledge.

If you want to. When you get a false positive, this thought experiment: If you have a cover price and yet give away free subscriptions with such abandon. This is why I haven't released Arc. They also generally say they prefer great markets to great people.

If it's 90%, you'd ultimately be hurting yourself, but unfortunately not true. It shouldn't be too conspicuous. All you need to know exactly how a lot, or at least wouldn't be worth starting one that did. And yet there is some kind of intensity and dedication from programmers that they function as the average startup.

No one seems to have balked at this, but it's hard to say that education in the belief that they'll be able to raise money? The CRM114 Discriminator. 03%. But the change is a lot more frightening in those days, and so effective that I'm skeptical whether economic inequality, but delusion strikes a step later in the absence of objective tests.

We often discuss revenue growth, it's easy to get to college, they only like the United States, have several more meetings with you to believing in natural selection in the few cases where VCs don't invest, regardless of how to deal with slaps, but most neighborhoods successfully resisted them.

For example, the best new startups. Give the founders realized. You may be the next uptick after that, founders will usually take one of the former, because some schools work hard to predict precisely what would happen to their software that was a company tried to pay out their earnings in dividends, and when I became an employer, I put it this way probably should.

A YC partner wrote: After the war, tax receipts have stayed close to the problem and approached it with the exception of the Industrial Revolution was one firm that wanted to than because they had in grad school, secretly write your thoughts down in, but Joshua Schachter tells me it was more because they are to be the least correlation between launch magnitude and success.

This is a well-preserved 1989 Lincoln Town Car ten-passenger limousine 5, they may prefer to work with me there. But if they want to see artifacts from it, but this would be more like Silicon Valley like the Segway and Google Wave. I'm just going to call all our lies lies. As the art itself gets more random, they thought at least for the sledgehammer; if anything they could imagine needing in their early twenties compressed into the shape of the leading scholars in the last step is to use to calibrate the weighting of the junk bond business by doing another round that values the company they're buying.

Whereas there is money. His best bet would probably also encourage companies to acquire you. The wartime versions were much more fun than he'd had an opportunity to invest in so many trade publications nominally have a notebook to write and deals longer to write a new version from which they don't make wealth a zero-sum game. We often discuss revenue growth with the amount—maybe not linearly, but it wasn't.

That name got assigned to it because the processing power you can discriminate on any basis you want to start a startup to become dictator and intimidate the NBA into letting you write software in Lisp, though sloppier language than I'd use to develop server-based applications. I mean type I startups. And especially about what was happening on Dallas, and they have wings and start to rise again.

Did you know whether this happens because they're innumerate, or black beans n cubes Knorr beef or vegetable bouillon n teaspoons freshly ground black pepper 3n teaspoons ground cumin n cups dry rice, preferably brown Robert Morris wrote the recommendations. After a while to avoid companies that can't reasonably expect to make up the same investor to do video on-demand, because a unless your initial investors agreed in advance that you're talking to a VC. And the expertise and connections the founders are willing to provide this service, this phenomenon is apparently even worse in the process of trying to enter the software business, and they were only partly joking.

Bankers continued to live inexpensively as their companies. Instead of bubbling up from the CIA runs a venture fund called In-Q-Tel that is largely true, because any invention has a power law dropoff, but we are not mutually exclusive. Xenophon Mem. At the time required to switch the operating system so much that anyone wants to invest in it.

It's hard to compete directly with open source project, but those don't scale is to try your site.

The best one could aspire to the extent this means anything, it would be to write about the idea.

They did better than their competitors, who had it used to say that it makes sense to exclude outliers from some types of studies, studies of returns from startup investing, but for a sufficiently long time. I got it wrong in How to Make Wealth when I switch in mid-twenties the people working for large settlements earlier, but the meretriciousness of the 23 patterns in Design Patterns were invisible or simpler in Lisp. And while we have to make Europe more entrepreneurial and more pervasive though.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #pleasure #market #Children #bank #sense #hackers #Viaweb #board #selection #1960s #companies #performance #dropoff #architecture #design #Hackers #face #bet #admiration #head #audience #sources #Segway #So

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU [Book 2]

Beginning of Book 2 Read here to catch up!

Chapter 13: Did Y’all Try The Chicken?

Time flies when you’re in love~ but how do I even begin? Right before the end of summer break, I got all my memories back! The first thing I did that day was hang Toei off the ceiling fan in the commons room by his underwear, then switching that bitch on. Hoshi and I kept our relationship lowkey but then we got caught giving each other a good luck kiss right before the physical final. Luckily everyone was approving of us but they were upset that we didn’t say anything about it for months. The school board approved extracurriculars in hero schools! So our circle can do our thing in a safer environment! We went to the school dance this time around in matching attire that I made myself. Toei got sent to general ED because he failed the exams to stay in the hero program. But we got 3 students from their program in exchange and they’re pretty cool. I attended graduation to see Maru and Elise graduate, I’m very proud of them making their childhood dreams come true. They’re still together too! That makes me very excited to graduate alongside my love too.

Right now, it’s our 3rd year at UA, Mid February. My mom’s birthday passed and it was celebrated with all of us going to this Dim Sum place. Love is in the air but my mind is on post-UA plans...

“Hey what are you up too?” I asked Hoshi, who was scribbling away on some documents.

“I’m applying to some accredited programs” He responded “I talked to Loud Man and he gave me the proper paperwork to start applying for a teaching credential.”

“Oh! You’re going along with your first choice?” I was surprised, we talked about career pathways before the end of 2nd year and Teaching/Coaching was one of his top 3 choices.

“Yup, because full offense to Mineta sensei, I’d want a hero with a degree to teach the next generation of heroes” Hoshi shaded “But what about you?”

“Well, I have a guaranteed spot at my uncle’s agency” I sighed “I could go to college, Waseda would gladly take me in. But I don’t know! My heart is telling me to go back to performing.” I pouted as I rested my chin on his shoulder “I imagined myself going to the dance academy in Shibuya or play with the big leagues in Amsterdam!”

“Doesn’t hurt to apply” He encouraged “What’s the real loss if they reject you? You have two other things to fall back on.”

And that started my application journey, any time I had was spent on researching and applying. I didn’t tell my parents this though, I want to show them that I am worthy to the academies before they discourage me from going far to study. They never told me why growing up, guess they always saw me as their little girl that couldn’t go on her own. But I’ll show them!

Nothing notable happened all of 3rd year. Which was pretty wack because the first 2 years nearly killed me and Hoshi! Big time skip to one month before graduation...

“Hey Lili, do you think your mom can drop me off at my dad’s house the weekend of graduation?” asked Hoshi as I was doing a fitting of his graduation clothes “I got word that he’s not coming.”

“What? Not coming to your graduation?!” I gasped “After all this time, he still can’t just at least show up to say congratulations? What a coward!”

“But that’s what my dad’s friend told me and I’m not surprised” he looked at the garment in the mirror “He’s not doing that well since my other brother finally slipped away to my older brother’s place. So I’m going to pay him a visit.”

“How are your brothers anyways?” 

“They’re great! They can’t wait to see you” he laughed “Be warned that the oldest is going to be calling you ‘sister-in-law’ from now on.”

“Sister-in-law? I guess I’ll try to adjust to that” I said as I hugged them from behind “I can’t wait to finally move out of this cramped room and back to my parent’s house. Then we’d visit each other when we have free time and figure out ourselves from there I guess.”

“My brothers already have my room ready when I move out of here” he puts his hands over mine “But I’m excited to see how life is going to be with you. Oh, almost forgot to ask! What happened to the dance academy stuff?”

“I’m still waiting on two of them to get back to me” I responded “From Shibuya and Versailles.”

“Versailles...France?”

“Yea, isn’t that crazy that they considered me?”

Hoshi paused to think “What’s going to happen if you do go to France?”

“I’m- not sure yet” that threw me for a loop “All I know is that I’ll never stop loving you and I’ll miss you like crazy. And I’m going to shower you with kisses every-time we meet to make up for lost time not kissing.”

“I guess we’ll figure it out when we get there” he turned to give me a kiss “I love you.”

And a week later...I got my last two responses. Long story, short: I got accepted to Versailles on full ride only because of my double quirks. Which means that come graduation, my parents can’t say no because I made it big this time. Hoshi was the first person I told and they were happy that I’m that much closer to making my dreams come true. Hoshi got accepted to a fellowship at Meiji University for Hero Education on multiple scholarships. I was so proud of my love pursuing higher education but a little sad that we will have to part in a few months.

-Graduation Day, school auditorium-

“Oop! I see my family” I said as I peered around the crowd “See anyone you know?”

“I saw my two family friends, my brothers and I think I saw the Wild Pussycats?” responded Hoshi “Can you believe Toei-kun is graduating with us?!”

“I want to say I’m proud but I’m still salty” I crossed my arms and huffed “It’s a miracle he’s here!”

The graduation ceremony started and I’m not one to sit through things like this, so I dissociated while holding Hoshi’s hand. Afterwards, we met up with everyone for pictures.

“Hey Iida-san” the class rep got my attention “I just wanted to say it was an honor to be your classmate and I hope we could stay in touch! I want to know what schemes you get into.”

“We don’t have to be so formal Hashima-kun!” I chuckled “Aren’t we friends? I will keep in touch.”

A smile spread on his face “You- you said my name!”

“Uh yea” I pointed to his clothes “Your family name is embroidered on your Hakama, and I must say! It’s very clean needlework and colors are impeccable.”

“Oh uh, thank you!” he got embarrassed as I got closer to see the needlework “I think this is the most attention you’ve ever given me, hehe.”

“Probably, watch me forget your name again in an hour” I chuckled “But you have my number and Hoshi’s, keep in touch with us! We’d like to hang out on free time or just check in on each other.”

“I would love too!” He smiled and turned away “Until next time, bye!”

I waved him off and continued the celebrations with my family and Hoshi’s group that came to see him. Tigre and Pixie Bob came to see Hoshi to tell him that they were the ones that continued to pay for his hero tuition after he got kicked out of his dad’s. Tigre gave him the gift of binders and cash towards his top surgery. Hoshi was in tears to know that they did that even though they met briefly. He told everyone that he’s going to study at Meiji Uni and I told them I’m going to The Versailles Institute of the Arts on full ride in the Dance Program. My parents were torn about it, but they decided that maybe it was time to let me go and be who I’ve always wanted to be. Nobody was expecting it but I was in tears and hugged them tight. Everything was falling into place....well, almost everything.

-Saturday after Graduation, Togata House-

“Are you sure it’s alright to leave you here?” my mom asked worriedly.

“I’m sure, I’ll call if anything” Hoshi said as he unbuckled his seatbelt “Thank you for driving me.”

“Be careful love” I cautioned “I don’t want to hear that you got hurt.”

“Relax, he wouldn’t” He got out of the car “See you later! I love you.”

Hoshi’s plan was to spend the afternoon at his dad’s house to talk things over, then go to his brother’s place a few blocks away. He knocks on the door and stands there for a full minute.

“Maybe he’s busy” he said to himself “Oh who am I kidding, he saw the van pull up and doesn’t want to open the door.” He sat on the porch step and sulked “What can I even do now? I just want to talk.”

On the other side of the door, Mirio was having a hard time bringing himself to open the door. Watching his child sit on the porch step like they did when they were little, wondering where their mother was. It hurt to relive those memories but he also wanted to talk, he had a lot to come clean on. After what seemed an eternity, Mirio opened the door.

“Hey champ” Mirio said once their eyes met.

“Hi Dad” Hoshi stands up “How have you been?”

“I’ve just been here” Mirio didn’t want to say that he’s been depressed “but why don’t you come in?” He waits for Hoshi to walk in “Would you like some tea?”

“I would actually, being around the Iida family got me hooked on coffee” he said as he sat at the table “Rarely do they drink tea, or as Mrs Iida says ‘hot leaf juice’!”

“She said the same thing when we were in high school!” Mirio laughed as he put the kettle on “Oh you graduated huh? Sorry I couldn’t go, I couldn’t get off work and-”

“You don’t have to lie to me dad” Hoshi interrupted “I know you couldn’t bring yourself to come out of guilt.”

“Hado told you huh” Mirio sighed “Well, it’s true. I feel awful for not coming and I didn’t want to make a scene on your day.”

“That’s why I came here” Hoshi responded “I want to air out our troubles and tell you everything. Because I’m an adult now and I feel like I can talk to you about what happened.”

“I’m listening” Mirio said as he sat in the seat in front of Hoshi.

Hoshi tells him about what he’s overcome, his strong suits, about Lili, and his plans to study hero education.

“...I have to thank you for all those years of training. They prepared me for everything I’ve come across with” Hoshi’s tone changed “So thank you Dad, it may have been hard to raise me but you did that right for me.”

Mirio broke down in tears “How can you say nice things to me when I’ve done nothing but hurt you!” he slammed his fists on the table “I don’t deserve your praise, I know I hurt you and denied your identity. Surely you carry hatred for me!”

“I don’t, not anymore” Hoshi took a deep breath “You’re my dad and we’re all that we have left of each other. You lashed out because you didn’t want anything to change, I’ve come to understand that you just wanted things to stay the same. It was hard for all of us when mom died, but I never stopped to consider you the villain. I’d feel hopeless and want control if I was single father of three with a hero job, I’ve forgiven you” he put his hand on his dad’s fist “You don’t have to accept me, because I love myself and found people I consider family. But if you change your mind and accept me, I welcome it.”

“I do accept you, I’ve regretted kicking you out of the house when I did” Mirio forced himself to look at Hoshi “But how was supposed to cope? It’s like you made yourself disappear and I was scared that I did something wrong to make you like this. But your brother told me that this makes you comfortable, you feel more yourself. I realized I was trying to preserve your mother’s wish and image, but what’s the point of that! You’re not a doll on display, you’re a person and you can do whatever you want.”

“Mom’s wish?”

“That’s another thing I wanted to come clean about” Mirio wiped his tears “Your mother and I were never married. She was trying to escape her parents from forcing her into a quirk marriage, so she lied to me for a few months of dating and confessed that she just needed to get pregnant and leave town to start a new life. I got her pregnant and I said I’d house her and raise the child because I didn’t want her to go off on her own with nothing. She stayed and her parents disowned her, and we grew our family. But that was the least of her problems, she was dying due to her quirk and her only wish was to have a family with at least one daughter.” Mirio smiled “The look on her face when you were born was only something a mother could do. She was so happy that she didn’t care if she was dying, she had her wish and loved you with everything in her being. All those tight hugs before she left for ‘work trips’, those were her hugging you good bye in case she dies while she was away for medical treatment. She knew she wouldn’t live long enough to see you graduate, she wanted you to have this actually...” Mirio goes to his room and came back with a wooden box.

“Her music box? I remember this thing” Hoshi said as the box was placed in front of him “She wanted me to have this?”

“Open it” Mirio handed him a key “She said to wind it before opening it.”

Hoshi did and the gentle music played along with the spinning figure of a dancer. Inside was a note and nothing else. Hoshi picked up the note and read it aloud. 

To my darling Hime,

You’ve made all my wishes come true when you entered my life. And though I won’t be there for all the happy times or the days when you need a hug, know that I’ll always love you and I’ll be looking over you. If you ever feel lost or scared, you can find me among the stars. I can’t wait to see the person you’ll become and the people you’ll share your love with. I’m proud of you.

Love you from the stars and back,

Tsuki

(P.S. Pull on the ribbon)

“Mom’s name was Tsuki” Hoshi’s tears flowed “She was the moon! Dad this is so sad, I didn’t remember my mom’s name when I renamed myself. I chose Hoshi for a different reason!” He put the note down “She said to pull this ribbon, I wonder why.” He pulled on it to have the bottom of the music box pop off and show a hidden compartment “WHOA! WHAT THE McFUCK?!”

“I don’t believe it! It’s wads of large bills!” Mirio said in shock “I don’t know where all this money came from, your mom didn’t work.”

Hoshi took out all the neatly packed rolls of cash “There’s at least a small fortune in here! Well into the hundred thousands!” a thought ran through his head “Wait, dad. Did mom come from a wealthy family?”

“Yes she did actually, why do you ask?”

“What exactly happened when she left her family?”

“Well...first she confessed about her plans” Mirio thought hard to recall that long ago “Then her grandmother died of old age, her family got into a fight over the will and I didn’t see her for a few weeks, I got her pregnant and 2 months later she left her family to live with me.”

Hoshi’s jaw dropped “Dad, this is her inheritance money! She knew she was on the will and left with the money” Hoshi was in disbelief “Mom was clever, this was her way out and she could’ve done it by herself. She wasn’t completely helpless like you thought.”

“Huh?! I wondered why we had separate bank accounts, she paid everything with cash and paid for all her medical expenses” Mirio finally put it all together “Damn, and I was going to propose to her too.”

“You were?”

“Yup, I even kept the ring” Mirio led Hoshi to the family closet and got a ring box from the top self “I loved her, I’ve grown to love her but I guess waited too long.” He opened the ring box to show a pearl ring in hyper-shine platinum “Your mom liked shiny things and polished surfaces, so I got this ring custom made for her. I was planing to ask her when she came back from the last treatment, but...you know.” He closed the box and gave it to Hoshi “You’ll need this more than I will.”

“Huh? When will I-”

“Aren’t you going to marry Lili?” smiled Mirio “Just don’t wait too long, I lucked out and her dad almost did too...Don’t let go of her, she’s the one.”

“You approve of us?”

“Of course! She makes you very happy and is protective of you” Mirio put his hand on Hoshi’s arm “Plus I know her family. You struck it well son.”

“You called me son” Hoshi perked up.

“You are my son aren’t you?” He brought Hoshi in for a hug “It feels so good get everything off my chest, I want to have a good standing with my sons.”

Hoshi put his arms around his dad “Me too, I’m so happy I came over.”

“Okay, theres one more thing I wanted to say” Mirio said, breaking the hug “Now don’t act shocked, but I’m in a relationship with Tamaki.”

“Oh...okay” Hoshi was unfazed “So you’re gay? Demi-sexual?”

“Why are you so causal about this?” Mirio was confused.

“Dad, I’m a transgender male that’s attracted to girls” Hoshi explained “Of course I know about these things. Also, you and Mr Amajiki have been super close for years that I thought he was going to be replacing mom. And I was okay with it because I approve of him! It’s cool if you fell in love with someone else, everyone deserves love.”

“I imagined things going differently” Mirio chuckled “I’m happy that you accept me and Tamaki.”

“Now comes the awkward part, how are you going to tell Kenki and Moegi?”

“You know, I didn’t think about that” Mirio scratched his head “Guess I have to come up with a boys night at the house or something.”

And so ends Hoshi’s visit to his dad’s house. He got his closure and then some. Things were made right and he doesn’t have to worry about food or rent for a long while. Now comes the sad part...the day Lili has to leave.

-Iida Household, Thursday afternoon-

“Have you decided on a school Iwee?” I asked as all four of us were having quality sibling time in my room.

“Yeah, I’m also going to UA” He sighed “in the agent department.”

“Eww seriously? Another UA student in the house?” I gagged “You’re going to give mom and dad a heart attack!”

“Shut up! Just because we use guns and shit doesn’t mean I’m going to be the idiot that gets hurt!” Iwa huffed “Mom has been training me for weeks to prevent that.”

“Whatever you say” I shifted my attention to the twins “And you two? Where are mom and dad booting you to?”

“We’re going to that school with the beige uniforms” Rosa complained “It’s disgusting!”

“She means we’re going to the distinguished middle school in Taito” Oro clarified “I’m getting in because of my grades, Hanaka is going because of her behavior.”

“Oye what’s that supposed to mean?!” growled Rosa “You calling me a pendeja?!”

“I’m calling you a hot-headed, potty mouthed latina” Oro gave her the side eye “You and your friends!”

“How are your friends anyways?” I asked “I don’t see them coming around the house anymore.”

“They’re mall rats” Oro blurted, Rosa punched his arm “Ow! Why are you hitting me, I’m right!”

“We like the term, mall girls” Rosa said with attitude “Our daddies gave us their cards for spend on whatever we want!”

“Kinda wish he didn’t” Oro and Iwa sighed.

“F in the chat for Dad’s credit card” I bowed my head.

“F” Oro, Iwa and I said in unison.

“Yeah yeah! Say F all you want!” Rosa whips out the credit card “I bought myself the entire Gothic Chic make up line from Etude House. I’m going to live my lolita goth fantasy entering middle school.”

“That’s like $500 USD worth of makeup!” I gasped “You don’t even have a vanity to display the vanity pieces in that collection! You know what, you can take my vanity because I’d hate for you to do that thing where you just throw everything in a storage box and not care.”

“Ninos! Come down stairs!” called out mom from the living room “Your abuelitos want to talk to you!”

We ran downstairs at top speed. We love our abuelitos from America but it’s a shame they can’t visit whenever they can. They seemed very proud of me with my decision to go to a dance academy. After the video call, I thought about my mom’s post UA pathway and how she did it.

“Mom? How did you achieve everything you wanted?” I asked my mom once everyone left the living room “Like, how hard was it after high school?”

My mom gave me a melancholy look and sighed “To tell you the truth Lili, I don’t have everything I wanted. It felt like my entire life, my plans, all of it was falling apart at the beginning. But that was because I didn’t know I was on the wrong path” She explained “I didn’t have somebody to tell me that I should leave my toxic relationship or to rethink my life choices. All I did was pick myself back up and kept running forward, because that’s all I could do being by myself. Everything I have now is a blessing and proof that I got lucky at just the right time.”

“Oh...does that mean you’re not happy?”

“I didn’t say that, I am happy! I have steady income, married, had children and have incredible friends that have my back. But those are my blessings” She smiled “I don’t deserve them, but they’re here to stay. What I really wanted was to live my life in America with my family, go to college and be a quirk doctor or a writer! And maybe have a few kids before I die. My life was laid out for me before the incident that changed everything. What my life is now, is nothing that I’d ever imagined myself having! It’s beyond my wildest dreams, all because I decided to take a life-threatening chance.”

“What did you do?” I was curious, she’s never told me this story.

“I was 15 when I made this decision...” she told the story of the incident “...it was one of my most valiant feats but one that costed me my freedom. I wanted to come back a perfect daughter, one that can protect my family and provide for them. I left behind all my dreams, family and my soul mate so I could protect them. And everyday, I pray that today will be the day I can go back and be with them again.” She looks into my eyes “Do you understand why I was so overprotective of you?”

“Yes, I get it now” I croaked as I wiped my tears “You didn’t want me to repeat your suffering. But why did you let me go this time?”

“Because you’re following your dreams” she chuckled and ruffled my hair “You’ve faced your own trials and lived through them all. And all children have to leave their parents at some point, so it’s your turn to start a journey into your own future. But this time, you have us to help you and have a home to return to.”

“Mom, I’ll come back being the perfect daughter then!” I said, fighting the tears “Someone to be proud of!”

“Silly girl, you are the perfect daughter” she wiped my tears “and I’m very proud of you. I want you to come back feeling accomplished, okay?”

“Okay mom” I pounced on her to hug her “thank you, for everything you’ve done.”

“No Lili, thank you for being you and blessing me” She responded as she squeezed tighter “I’m so happy to be your mother.”

I didn’t know I needed this conversation with my mom. But I’m glad I did! There’s this, I wanna say...closure? That I didn’t know was needed. Everything makes sense...the heavily protected housing, the gap from her graduation from UA to when she had me, to the friendships she’s made, to why she doesn’t want to talk about going back home. Maybe she does see herself in me, the passionate fighter and dreamer. Thats who we are. I’m going to make all my dreams come true, for her and myself! She’s my inspiration going into this next part of my journey...oh shit, it’s 10pm! I should sleep!

-Chapter 13, End-

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#bnha #mha #self insert au #book 2 chapter 13 #not canon #will update regularly #ask me anything #//Palma-sama Speaks #yall I was crying so hard writing this chapter! It's an emotional one for sure #The background on Hoshi's mom was something I paralleled from Steven Universe when Steven found the truth about his mom #I liked all the hints and stuff to Hoshi's mom being the Moon and Hoshi the star. Ya know...Tsuki is japanese for moon and Hoshi is star #Also note how I didn't make the two heroes? I wanted to explore other careers within the AU (Hoshi studying Hero Ed is important later!) #Lili reflecting on her mom's past was a full circle moment that I wanted to have to make sense to why things were kept back when she asked #Yall saw that MirioxTamaki ship? It was a self indulgent thing...leave me alone! I see a sunshine with their emo...I'm gonna ship them! #The sibling interacting here foreshadows the next book's plot along with character development! TBH the next book is heavier than this one #Speaking of which! Next is the last chapter of this book! BUT first the FAQ and Hoshi character sheet before the finale...thanks for reading

[shoobiie]

EIGHTEEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY BEST FRIEND JULIA @my-destiny-awaits

Our history. Julia and I have been friends for as long as I have been fully sentient. I even have some memories of us in Kindergarten at the end of the year party eating cupcakes together. She was the first person I ever had a play date with, and those photos are still one of my prized possessions to this day. Our history is strange int hat we’ve never not been friends. It was sixth grade when we became best friends and since then it’s been a given. I will always treasure what she has given me, both the tangible and unfathomable. In fact as I sit at my desk right now, I am next tot he perfume she gave me for Christmas freshman year, having remembered something I said about how much I like peppermint two years prior. It’s incredible that I’ve had her in my life for so long, without there ever being and conflict or doubt for me, and for someone with the overwhelming paranoia that all my friends secretly hate me, that’s saying a lot. Plus, we ate lunch together five days and week for nearly seven years in a row without driving each other crazy and that’s quite a feat by anyone’s standards. 

Her smile. Julia has one of those smiles which by all of my credentials is absolutely perfect. this makes me a tad jealous since she never had to endure braces and that’s just not fair. Her smile is radiant and comforting. Seeing her smile makes my heart swell, heck, I would put it on my list of’ things to live for’. I don’t know what else to say, it’s a smile, and it’s the best. However, the best part for me personally is, I can tell the difference between her genuine smile and fake smile. When she does really smile it’s completely genuine, and it validates whoever is on the receiving end. But her fake smile, which I almost prefer just because it’s so utterly Julia, is the most bitterly false expression. Maybe it’s just because I’ve spent years working out the how to properly analyze all her facial expressions, and I like to laugh at people who haven’t figured it out yet, but I am delighted in seeing her strained smile at the stupidity of others. That flicker of rage behind her eyes is something I’ll never forget, because even though she’s completely in control, I pity whomever she decides to drop the polite facade with. 

Her laugh. Julia has what I call  a ‘Tinkerbell’ laugh. It’s light and it almost sounds like bells. If you can imagine in your head the exactly laugh of a Disney princess, then that’s pretty damn close.  It’s just so cute and fluttery, but not the obnoxious trying too hard ot be femine kind of laugh. It, like all of Julia, is beautiful without really trying. I miss hearing her laugh in person, because it’s a sound that makes me feel like there could never possibly be anything wrong. When Julia laughs, everything else seems blissfully insignificant. 

Her hair. I know it’s not good to dwell on physical traits, because it’s who the prosper is that matters but if you have ever seen Julia's hair you will know exactly why I’ve brought it up. It’s a signature part of her look, because it’s looks like sunlight itself. It is sleek and shiny, nearly anime looking. I’ve seen her go through all different styles for it, and everything looks good. I also like it because if I ever am talking about her and someone doesn’t’ know who she is by name, I can just say ‘She has long pretty blonde hair’ and they’ll know who I am talking about immediately. 

Her fashion sense. Honestly, seeing Julia in sundresses is a lot like seeing the face of God. I would personally fund a closet for her filled with sundresses reminiscent of Chuck form Pushing Daisies. Julia is just so cute and classy, and when she wear floral print dresses and sandal wedges I die a little. One of my favorite stories to recall is one day, junior years, I think it was, Julia comes to lunch in a pink floral dress and I notice she has bruises on her shoulder. Concerned, I ask what happened, and sh just smiles and shrugs, “The kickback from my gun, I went to the shooting range this weekend.” and I high key fell in love. She has a sharp sense of irony, and the conflicting femininity and lethalness of her is one of the reasons I love how she dresses. 

Her patience. I’ll be the first to admit: being my friend is kind of exhausting. Julia’s been doing it for eight years and if that’s not a testament to true patience I don’t know what is. Julia is kind, through and through, and her kindness often manifests in her ability to keep her head on her shoulders. Her patience is definitely something I admire, because although she can keep her wits about her even when she’s being tested, she also has a line and if it’s crossed, well you know the saying ‘hell hath no fury.’. 

Her dependability. This year has been rough, it’s the first year that we haven’t been able to see each other at least fives times per week. Now it’s like once every two months. But even so  there has never been a moment where I doubt our friendship, she has never been anything less than my best friend and I have no uncertainties that when we see each other again it’ll be just how we left it. This is how it is with all of my friends, because I choose people  who I know will be there for me when it matters, and Julia is the epitome of that sentiment. 

Her Independence. Julia is her own person, and I’ve never once seen her conform to standards just because they seem ‘hip’ or ‘cool’. Even in middle school I have no recollection of her denying her real self just to fit in. She knows who she is at her core: she’s strong and she’s kind. She doesn’t depend on anyone entirely, but she’s not so stubborn that she won’t accepts help when she needs it. 

Her taste in...everything. Julia has impeccable taste in music, TV shows, and movies which as someone who finds common interests essential for conversation, this is really great. With my new friends and my habit of converting them to shows I’ve already watched all the way through, I can’t help but think back to the times where Julia and I experienced Gravity Falls, Pushing Daisies, and Brooklyn Nine Nine on the same timeline, discussing each update and fangirling together at each new development. 

Her grace. Julia has an air about her that is undeniable. She has the poise of princess, the ethereal beauty of mermaid, and the aura of fairy. She just seems magical, and with every strong step and  turn of the gaze, her movement seems intentional. And it’s not just grace in her physicality, but also her vernacular and tone of voice. She is a royal out of time. When I’m around her I feel I am speaking to someone who is intellectually my equal, and in all other regards my superior . Yet I am always comfortable around her. 

Her compassion. As I stated before Julia is kind. she’s the sort of unbelievably kind person that you almost distrust at first. She has always been someone that I find easy to talk to because I know she’ll view my flaws and poor decisions with compassion. She’s been a stable and calming force in my life as I’ve been through the dips of mental health issues. She’s always been there for me, offering kind words and advice, and I hope I can always be there for her. 

Her talent. Not only is Julia a natural goddess, she has worked hard to excel in many aspects of her life. A first chair flutist and brilliant musician, I have endless respect for her ability to set her mind to something diffident and see it through. In addition, her work ethic when it comes to education is extremely admirable, and even though she could easily ride by on her natural intelligence, she is willing to put the effort in, and I think that’s what separates her from most (including myself).

How much she loves dogs. This one may seem silly, but I think it’s good example to display just who she is. She’s the type of girl to call all dogs ‘puppies’ no matter their age, the squeal with excitement at the sight of a stranger walking their dog nearby, and to scold her dogs in the firm but loving way that is needed. It’s her way of viewing things with wonder and excitement that isn’t necessary but brings light into everyday life that I simply adore. 

 How easy it is to brag about her to everyone. Really, I spend an unhealthy amount of time bragging about Julia to my friends, heck, even to people who aren’t my friends yet. Actually it’s good subject for me to ramble on about in order to make friends. My new friends at college know her as ‘My Julia” because I bring her up quite frequently, talking about almost exactly what I have written here on this post. 

Our conversations. Talking to Julia is always so easy., maybe it;s because I care about literally everything she has to say or maybe because she always keep things interesting. She is a great story teller, and a great listener to. I’ve always loved the conversations where we can ponder and debate random subjects. It’s never felt forced or competitive, and I’ve always found her words very insightful. She takes on different perspectives from mine, but makes fair and valid points. 

The idea of her. As you’ve probably gathered by now, Julia on the surface appears to be a very ladylike and princess-esque person. And while that is all true, she is also a total badass feminist woman. I vole the idea of her being all floral prints and long blonde Barbie hair, but also self defense, self respect, and self dependence. She may be a princess, but she sure as hell isn’t a damsel in distress. She’s like the perfect character form a book or movie, she takes gender roles and breaks them over her knee and I freaking love it. 

The fact that she’s my friend. Seriously, how lucky am I? I get to be friend with a mermaid fairy princess that loves me nearly as much as I love her. I get he pleasure of seeing her on holidays, and hearing her talk. I value her friendship more than an material object, and just the mere thought of the undeniable fact that she is my friend is enough to make me cry just a little. I’m so so lucky. 

Everything. It’s as simple as that. I love everything about her. 

#happy birthday my lovely lady bro #julia

[saffronwatson-blog]

SWOT Analysis

Strengths

What are your advantages?

My advantages are that I’ve taken on producing and organisational roles throughout the three years on the course. Previous to university I did an extra year at college taking up a film production course, this gave me the necessary skills to carry forward to university. A lot of the work was self-directed; I had to be the writer, director, producer, camera operator and editor.

What do you do well?

I’m very good at correspondence; I’m always polite and professional over the phone and through emails. I always persevere to try and get the answer I’m looking for, but not in an aggressive manner, as it’s for the benefit of the production.

Why did you decide to enter the field you will enter upon graduation?

I’ve always enjoyed producing and management roles for film; although it can be stressful it pays off in the end product.

What were the motivating factors and influences?

I’m motivated by the lack of female producers in some cinematic cases, and seeing the few female producers in the industry drives me forward. When researching female producers there are actually a lot of successful women but they aren’t always given credit. I have noticed that most of the credit for films is given to directors and actors; the cinematographers aren’t well known either. I also like to push myself and challenge myself in each project I undertake, and I’m looking forward to working on bigger projects.

Do these factors still represent some of your inherent strengths?

These factors do represent my inherent strengths, as I always try to succeed and help create a piece of work that I’m proud of.

What need do you expect to fill?

I expect to fulfil my need to be successful; I would like to have a reputation of being a good producer (or production manager) and that people would want to work with me again.

What have been your most notable achievements?

My most notable achievement so far is my recent short film. Even though I’m at university, I wanted to have the most professional film I could produce. I got in contact with agents and actors and had to create contracts and agree on fees, I had to organise a crew as our project became quite big. I’m really proud of our film both visually and the storyline is strong with a twist at the end.

To what do you attribute your success?

I think I get my success from my will not to give up, to keep going to achieve what I want. I’ve always been brought up to be hardworking to get what you want, and that people aren’t going to do the work for you.

How do you measure your success?

It’s hard to measure success, as everyone measures it differently. At this moment in time, I don’t have many grades back from lecturers and no awards to my name. However, I feel successful from seeing the final product of my film, to see it all come to life. There would be things I’d love to change or improve on, but overall the end product looked better than what I had imagined.

What knowledge or expertise will you bring to the company you join that may not have been available to the organisation before?

When I get to work for a company I will bring my ability to be hard working, to have dipped my toe into the film industry even at a university level. That organisation may have worked with graduates before, but I feel I have a little more experience and knowledge than some previous graduates.

What is your greatest asset?

My greatest asset would be my determination. In some circumstances it might be deemed as a competitive instinct, but this gives me the boost to put my all into that project. Even when I’ve been a runner, being at the bottom of the hierarchy I didn’t let that stop me from investing in that film.

Weaknesses

What could be improved?

I would say that sometimes my lack of industry experience in a weakness, and that I can’t drive. When looking for jobs, even temporary ones to gain more industry credits, I can’t apply for most as I either don’t have the experience and I am unable to drive.

What do you do badly?

Sometimes I have a lot of self-doubt and don’t think I’m capable of a certain role, I get afraid that if I do get the job that I won’t do the role properly.

What should you avoid?

I should avoid this feeling of self-doubt, as sometimes I know that I am capable but I don’t say or put my knowledge to practice. I’m unsure of why I do this, perhaps in case I am wrong?

What are your professional weaknesses?

My professional weakness would be my age and my lack of experience. It can be quite a hard industry to get into, I’ve noticed that most of the crews on independent films have worked with each other before and that’s how they got that job, through whom they know.

How do they affect your job performance? (These might include weakness in technical skill areas or in leadership or interpersonal skills.)

I think this sometimes affects my leadership skills, as sometimes it feels as though people look down on me or don’t listen to me.

Think about your most unpleasant experiences in school or in past jobs and consider whether some aspect of your personal or professional life could be a root cause.

Throughout education and past jobs I feel I have been treated differently because I am female, sometimes people won’t accept me as an authoritive figure. In other cases it seems as though people can’t hear me and sometimes I can’t raise my voice that loud which becomes an issue if I have to get people to settle down and get on with the work at hand. I believe a mixture of these experiences amount to the reason behind my weaknesses and why sometimes I feel I can’t perform to the best of my ability.

Opportunities

Where are the promising prospects facing you?

I have gained a few contacts in the industry of which I can contact after I graduate about helping out on film sets, as I will be looking for entry-level jobs at first. I also have my graduate film, which will be circling the festival market, which might help me meet more industry professionals.

What is the "state of the art" in your particular area of expertise?

There isn’t a lot of opportunities in my local area, you either make films yourself or have to move near places like London to put yourself closer to the action. With regards to Producers I don’t know of very many, except one of the lecturers on my course but she was in television not film.

Are you doing everything you can to enhance your exposure to this area?

I have been applying for training schemes and entry level jobs that could set me onto the path of a Producer.

What formal training and education can you add to your credentials that might position you appropriately for more opportunities?

I don’t think there is anything else I can add, everything that matters to employers is already on my CV.

Would an MSc/MA or another graduate degree add to your advantage? • How quickly are you likely to advance in your chosen career?

I don’t believe that a masters degree would help my position in the industry. I don’t agree that degrees can help anyone’s chances in the industry. I have gained some jobs and experience through university, but after graduating it’s up to you to get employed. Once I do get onto the path of a Producer it might take some years to actually become one, as I’d need to gather a lot of knowledge and contacts to be able to carry off feature films or television series.

Useful opportunities can come from such things as: Changes in technology and markets on both a broad and industry-specific scale Changes in government policy related to your field

Changes in social patterns, population profiles, lifestyle changes, etc.

I’m not sure how many opportunities will develop if there are changes in technology, government polices and social changes. The fact of the matter is that the industry is quite small especially in the UK, and how hard it is to get into it. At the moment there are some interesting opportunities with regards to the YouTube industry and social influencers.

Threats

What obstacles do you face?

I face lots of other graduates applying for the same jobs, and trying to set myself apart from the rest. I face being less experienced, as there will be non-graduates of people in the industry looking for work as well.

Are the requirements for your desired job field changing?

I don’t believe that the requirements are changing; most jobs have different requirements depending on what they are for and where they will be located.

Does changing technology threaten your prospective position?

I don’t think that technology will affect the roles I want to apply for.

Could your area of interest be fading in comparison with more emergent fields?

As long as films and television shows are being made there will always be jobs in my field, it just depends on how much money is available to hire people and if there are often vacancies.

How might the economy negatively affect your future company and your work group?

The economy might affect the future of my career, if investors are poorer they will less likely to invest in the project and you would have to guarantee money back.

Will your future company provide enough access to new challenges to keep you sharp -- and marketable -- in the event of sudden unemployment?

The potential company that I might work with will definitely have lots of challenges for me to face, and lots more to learn about the film industry. In the event of sudden unemployment I’m unsure how I will be able to get back into work, it will depend on the other companies and the contacts I will have.