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chacusha · 5 years

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FFVI live-blogging (1/?)

While I wait for all my game consoles and my PC to make their way here, I decided I would replay Final Fantasy VI on an emulator. In particular, I’m trying out the GBA edition for the very first time. Exciting!

Little known fact: I have never finished FFVI despite it being one of my favorite games. I have probably started a new game and played through a significant portion of the story about five or six times (the farthest I got was the World of Ruin after having re-collected most of party again i.e. able to fight Kefka at any point but still dicking around with sidequests).

Followup fact: This is because there are some aspects of this game that I struggle with because I’m really obsessive about how I play games. In particular, the magicite/Esper system is really hard for me to deal with, because I obsessively try to make sure every person in my party builds up a fairly complete repertoire of magic, which takes an insane amount of grinding. (And then I don’t really use magic other than healing spells, so uh... I don’t know why I do that.) The second thing is Gau’s Rage skills. I also get really obsessive about building up a fairly complete collection, which usually involves HOURS of grinding on the Veldt (an activity that doesn’t even give EXP, apparently? somehow I never realized that...).

So anyway, I’m now at the point where Terra rejoins your party after turning into her esper form (and Celes is back in the empire). In other words, I am now at the point where I have a new flood of magicite and the Veldt is newly accessible again and uh... it might be a while before I move on. 😅

Anyway some thoughts:

One thing I like about the early Final Fantasy games is how obviously inspired they are by Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, and I think FFVI is the game that makes that inspiration most clear. The story framing of a small group of people (each of them a distinguished person in their own right -- a king, a general, the strongest knight of a kingdom, a gambling airship pilot, etc. etc.) band together to take down an expansionist empire against all odds, even if that means sneaking behind enemy lines to carry out a dangerous mission. (I forever love Biggs and Wedge, and the “Aren’t you a little short to be an Imperial trooper?” line.)

I love the maximally steampunk aesthetic of Figaro Castle going into submerging mode.

Edgar is a very similar character to Ringabel -- charming and flirts with every woman in a kind of gallant way. Despite how that kind of behavior would be irritating in real life (and occasionally crosses into sketchy territory, like when flirting with children), they are both perennially popular characters among women. I find that fascinating. Like, I also know I’d find that behavior annoying if I encountered it in real life, but I also really enjoy both of these characters??

The reveal of Locke’s literal dead girlfriend in a basement will never not be amazingly hilarious, creepy, and very sad all at the same time.

Guy in Jidoor: “After they threw out all the poor people in town...” Me: After they did what now? (Not sure how I feel about the class politics of “all the poor people are pathological liars” that is Zozo. Then again, they also had a “rich dude betrayed everyone in South Figaro to fascists the empire for money” so maybe that makes up for it.)

The opera scene is still A+++. Like, one of the things that make it so great is that the sets (like the balcony that Celes is on) would be crazy amazing if they actually existed in real life. Like, imagine going to the opera, and they have this amazing multi-level tower, complete with a balcony, pillars, and a beautiful night sky backdrop. You’d be like, holy shit, they didn’t hold back!!

Having played FFIX, I now can see how much of FFVI is in that game. The theatre troupe, the auction house, the lady-protecting thief, etc. are all very familiar.

The scene with Celes and Locke in the Magitek Factory (where Kefka claims that Celes was on the Empire’s side the entire time) reads differently to me than it did in the SNES version for some reason. I always thought that Celes was obviously what she appeared to be (a deserting general) and that Locke’s “omg is it true, Celes?? 😧” reaction was just him being dumb/gullible. But during this playthrough, this scene makes it seem like Celes actually WAS meant to infiltrate the Returners and she had a change of heart halfway through. I think the reasons it reads differently are (1) that there isn’t as much flavor text that indicates Celes’s character or personality (the SNES description of Celes having “a spirit as pure as snow” makes it sound like she deserted the Empire because she could no longer stand its crimes, but the more accurate GBA description that people have never seen the woman that lies underneath the general simply suggests that she is hard to read AKA a good spy), and (2) Kefka’s more detailed claim that Celes “deserted” and was “rescued” in order to infiltrate the Returners seems too specific for him to be making that up on the fly. I wonder if that was the writers’ intention, though... Okay, wow, looking up information on the FF Wikia and comparing game scripts, and I think spy!Celes is canon: “Celes was originally meant to be a ‘conflicted spy’ archetype—a spy working for the antagonists, but swayed by the benevolence of the people she was supposed to be spying on and how nice Locke was to her.” Woolsey translation: Cid: Can it be true that you came here as a spy, seeking to cause an uprising!? Locke: !? Celes...? Kefka: So that's it! Magicite... Cid, you miserable blockhead! Now... General Celes!! The game's over. Bring me those Magicite shards! Locke: Celes! You... decieved me!? Celes: Of course not! Have a little faith! Kefka: G'hee, hee, hee! She has tricked you all! Celes, that's so... YOU! Celes: Locke... Please believe me... GBA translation: Cid: Is it true you worked your way in amongst the rebels as a spy? Locke: ...!? Celes...? Kefka: Oh, I see! Magicite...! Excellent work, Cid! General Celes! We needn't keep up the charade any longer. Bring me those magicite crystals! Locke: Celes! You...tricked us!? Celes: Of course not! Please, trust me! Kefka: Hee-hee-hee! The sweet taste of betrayal! Oh, Celes! That's so...you! Celes: Locke... Believe me... (Cid’s line is no longer ambiguous which side Celes is spying for. Coming from Cid (a more reliable character than Kefka), the story that Celes is a spy is not so easily dismissed. Kefka is also so unruffled at encountering Celes in a secure empire facility that it just doesn’t seem like he’s improvising either...)

I love the Maduin flashback. I don’t know if it’s significantly different/pared down in the English SNES version or what, but those scenes never really stuck with me before... But seeing them this playthrough? OMG the feels. First, the ominous esper music playing throughout is so Atmospheric and Foreboding. You really get the feeling that the events depicted changed the fate of the world. (Also, it reminds me of this track from the Sailor Moon RPG, which is also a great track.) Second, Madeline is such a clear and striking character given how little screentime she has. The one trait she most clearly has is, like, a misanthropic hatred of humanity. And throughout her scenes, you get this really strong impression that she’s really fierce, bitter, and almost... thorny? Like really hard to get close to -- a determined loner. Third, the Maduin/Madeline relationship -- first off, I appreciate the metaphorical sex scene where they dance/fly around a cave together and drop two sparkles that combine to form a baby. Second, that last scene where Madeline kind of foolishly runs off and Maduin chases after her and they have this “you’re being a dummy” “I know” “let’s go home” kind of tender moment before EVERYTHING GOES WRONG. Ouch my heart.

Also, it strikes me that Terra and Aerith are very parallel characters -- half-human, half-supernatural race, captured and experimented on as a baby, mom dies trying to save her, etc.

Also, I find Gestahl a very unsettling character. I feel like Kefka is the Voldemort or Bellatrix of Final Fantasy VI -- unstable, weird, very over-the-top, god complex villain who screams “eeeeevil” with his design -- while Gestahl is the Umbridge of Final Fantasy VI -- civil, polite, reasonable, functional, and yet utterly uncaring and dismissive of other people’s concerns. Whereas with the Kefka type, you’re like, “who would follow this person?” and don’t feel threatened, Gestahl is not only a person people would follow; he’s a person many people already ARE. That’s scary to me.

#final fantasy vi #video game liveblogging #ffvi liveblogging

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justanotherwannabeclassic · 6 years

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Fighting This War

“If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it.” Lieutenant Duckling AU

Author’s Note: Merry Christmas, everyone, especially to @seastarved , to whome this fic is dedicated. Surprise! I am your Hub Secret Santa! I hope you enjoy this Enchanted Forest AU. I’m so glad we share a mutual love of Enchanted Forest AUs. Special thanks to @sambethe , who helped me with this fic many moons ago. Can also be read on AO3.

Fighting This War

Snow gently falls outside as skirts twirl inside, ladies being spun around the ballroom by their suitors, laughing and loving and forgetting the potential disasters that await them on the other side of the castle’s walls. At least, all appear to forget except one, Princess Emma of Misthaven.

She hates the balls, hates what they symbolize when a war is being waged outside of these walls. It seems so superfluous to her, if not downright insulting to those fighting and dying to be hosting one fete after another. Her father tells her that these balls are the best way to honor the men who risk their lives in honor of the crown. Her mother says they are to distract their people from the fear of war, give them something to celebrate, a momentary reprieve.

Emma simply finds it to be a waste.

Men are dying for this kingdom, and here they are, drinking, dining, and dancing within the safe confines of the castle. It’s all so very hypocritical. She knows the cause of the war is just – the opposing kingdom will stop at nothing to see her family’s lands razed to the ground, still so very offended for trespasses of which Emma is no longer sure. So war must be fought, and lives must be lost. The cost, otherwise, would be much too great.

(“What are a few dead soldiers compared to an entire kingdom?” One of her parents’ advisors had once so cruelly asked. His statement may have been true, but no less unaware and detached.)

The war is taking its toll on the kingdom and its people, but if a passerby were to look at this fete, no one would know the wiser, save for the naval officers dressed in their finest uniforms. The truth is that Emma’s parents may be right. Those in attendance certainly appear happy and joyous. Besides, it also gives the men choosing to risk their lives some recognition of their own.

Emma has spent much of the evening charming these men, thanking them for their service to the crown. She walks through the crowd, entertaining some with dances, others with pleasant conversation. Her cheeks hurt from forcing a smile so much, but she thinks this is a small price to pay. They are the ones making the sacrifice, not her.

Towards the end of the evening, one of her parents’ most trusted knights, Sir Lancelot, waves her over. He is standing by two naval officers. Estimating by their decorations, one is a Captain, the other Lieutenant. They’re both handsome, tall with dark hair and blue eyes. Judging by the way the Lieutenant has been carrying himself the entire night, he certainly knows it, too. Not that Emma’s noticed him previously, not at all.

“Princess Emma, I would like to introduce you to two of our finest officers, Captain and Lieutenant Jones,” Sir Lancelot begins. “They serve on our flagship vessel, The Jewel of the Realm. I have been informed by the Admiral that we would have lost a number of battles without their quick maneuvering.”

To the credit of the Captain, a hint of a blush crosses his cheeks.

“Thank you both for your service,” Emma says, nodding her head politely. Captain Jones nods and bows, ever the model of respectability, but his brother catches her eye with a devastating grin.

“The pleasure is all mine, Princess.” He reaches for her hand, bowing dramatically as he brushes his lips against her knuckles. “If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it.”

“So you believe our meeting is worth the blood of hundreds of men, Lieutenant?”

The color drains for Lieutenant Jones’ face, his jaw drops and eyes widen. Whatever response the man had been expecting, it certainly wasn’t this. Emma takes certain pleasure in her knocking the arrogant naval officer off guard. He attempts to stammer a response – “What…No, Princess…that’s not – “

“Because, trust me, Lieutenant, the safety of our kingdom is the only thing worth that price.”

With that, Emma turns away from the men without so much as proper goodbye. As she disappears into the crowd, she can hear Sir Lancelot’s distinctive laugh intermingled with the Captain scolding the silent Lieutenant about “bad form.” Emma doesn’t know why Lieutenant Jones’ words rankled her so, just that when he said them there was a surge of annoyance. She supposes it probably was a result of her own underlying feelings regarding the frivolity of the party.

Later she finds herself standing on a balcony, peering at her blanketed kingdom. The chill of winter provides a nice contrast to the heat of the ballroom, and the stillness of the outdoors serves as a contrast to the revelry indoors. Emma doesn’t understand how the world can appear so peaceful when it really was the opposite, fraught with war and death.

“Does everything have to be a contradiction?” She asks aloud to herself.

“It doesn’t have to be,” is the reply, and Emma jumps at the sound of the unexpected voice.

“It’s not proper to sneak up on a princess, you know,” Emma says, not bothering to turn around to properly greet the interloper in an attempt to gain control of the situation.

“My apologies,” he says, and Emma finally recognizes the voice as Lieutenant Jones. Emma half expects him to leave or wait for further acknowledgement, but instead he steps forward to stand by her side. It’s a daring move. “I actually came to find you to apologize for offending you earlier.”

“For offending me? I believe what you said went far beyond offending me, Lieutenant. You sullied the sacrifice of good men, for what? To meet a princess?” Emma asked, her voice biting and sharp. She finally turns to him only to be met with blazing blue eyes and a set jaw. He looks annoyed, and that frustrates Emma even more.

“I stand by what you think I said,” he replies, his voice gruff. “But don’t for a second believe, Your Highness, that I do not care about the sacrifices of my fellow sailors. They are my brothers in arms, not yours. They only served you. I bled with them.”

“Then why make light of the war?”

“Because with all of the death and destruction, it has to mean something, don’t you think?” Lieutenant Jones asks her. He moves closer to her, and she can feel his breath on her skin, warm against the cool night air. “If not for the war, neither my brother nor I would be able to honor our names. I never would have had the chance to travel to new lands. And this lowly lieutenant never would have had the chance to converse with his sovereign. I have to look toward the light to continue fighting the darkness.”

Emma scoffs. “It’s war. Of course it is dark. Men are dying. Villages are being destroyed.”

“But that doesn’t mean that there can’t still be good among the bad.” Lieutenant Jones’ expression is so earnest, she almost wants to believe him. It sounds like something her parents would say, and Emma doesn’t know if that makes his words more or less receptive to her ears. “I can prove it to you, if you’d like.”

She smirks. “I’d like to see you try.”

-/-

Lieutenant Jones sticks to his word, almost going out of his way in an attempt to prove to her that light can be found in even the darkest of places. It annoys her at first, the presumption that he could challenge and change her viewpoint. It’s not that she’s close-minded, but it’s the arrogance at which he approaches the situation that gets her, so sure that he will be proven right in the end. She actually ignores his first few letters from him as a result, unwilling to encourage his audacity. He is not deterred, however, instead finding encouragement in her silence, almost as if he believes it means she knows he could win.

It probably violates some sort of code or expectation, him writing to her and her writing back. Even as a lieutenant in the Royal Navy, he is still far below his station, and is therefore playing a dangerous game. Should Emma get too irritated with his attentions, she could very well have him decommissioned…or worse. Such is the power of the Crown Princess. The Lieutenant must be well aware of this fact, he is not an idiot, but still he persists. This is what draws Emma to him and leads her to finally read and respond to his letters – not his optimism, nor his persistence, but his fearlessness in approaching her. He treats her not as a prize to be sought, but as a mind to be challenged. It is refreshing change to the eligible men who normally approach her. Not that the Lieutenant has made any advances since the first night they met.

It does not go without notice that he writes beautifully. His letters detail his exploits, highlighting the bright moments bookended between battles. He speaks of strange ports, unfamiliar tongues, and overzealous merchants. His stories don’t convince her that he is right about the possible upsides to war, but she still finds value in his words, especially when he talks of his battles.

He writes of those in such vivid detail that Emma can almost imagine she was there with him in the heat of the fight. His words make her feel less trapped within her castle walls, allow her to pretend she has a deeper understanding of war and what it entails. As a child, she once overheard Lancelot and many of her father’s knights commiserate over their war stories, but they pale in comparison to the narrative Lieutenant Jones weaves.

Her heart aches for him, because she can tell the pain he feels when he drafts eulogies for his fallen brothers in arms. She now knows he truly meant what he said that night at the ball, how he truly hates the death of each and every sailor. It seems silly now, and she Emma feels embarrassed by the fact, that she doubted his words back then. She doesn’t tell him so in her responses, she’s a bit too prideful for that, but she does attempt to send back comfort, hope, and support, whatever she feels can uplift his spirits. She hopes it works. Her words seem to, because he often thanks her for acknowledging her letters, a bit of humor shining through here or there.

“I see I’m beginning to win you over, Princess.”

She doesn’t quite understand how the introspective and caring man who writes her these letters can be the same one who so callously reduced their meeting to one of the benefits of war. As their correspondence continues, Princess Emma cannot deny one simple fact.

She is increasingly becoming more and more thankful that they met.

-/-

Months pass, letters are traded, and balls are held.

Tonight is one such night. Just as with the night Emma first met Lieutenant Jones, snow is creeping steadily from the sky, blanketing the gardens and castle in white. Though it is the early vestiges of spring, winter is unforgiving on its hold of the kingdom. Unlike the night where she first crossed the path of Lieutenant Jones, however, she’s spent the weeks leading to this night waiting in high anticipation.

Not that she tells him that.

Instead she smiles coyly as he spins her around the ballroom in an intricate waltz, unwilling to let on just how happy she is to her lieutenant again. Emma’s long since stopped trying to discover when he became “her lieutenant” in her head – a person isn’t one to own – but he is reserved in a special place in her heart and mind that no one’s quite occupied in the same way before. It’s equal parts thrilling and terrifying, but instead of running, she chases the feeling.

“You’ve cut your hair,” Emma comments, her fingers lightly brushing against the nape of his neck. The last she had seen of him, he wore his hair in a neat queue. Now, it is cropped short. She thinks he looks better this way. Not that she tells him that, either.

“Aye, but it wasn’t by choice. I came a bit too close the wrong end of a blade,” he responds, his wince at the memory exaggerated for her amusement. “Thankfully, a bit of a haircut doesn’t detract from my devilishly handsome good looks, so no harm done.”

“You didn’t tell me that!”

“That I’m devilishly handsome? Princess, I was hoping you would have noticed by now.” Lieutenant Jones throws at her a wicked, teasing smile, his eyes alight with mirth. He sobers quickly at her responding glare. “Honestly, I didn’t know you wanted me to tell you everything. I can, if you so desire.”

“I do so desire, Lieutenant.”

“Killian. If I’m to reveal my darkest of stories, you should at least call me by my given name,” her Lieutenant – Killian – responds. For a moment, he looks nervous, as if he knows he is overstepping his bounds, but he recovers quickly. “What would you like to know?”

“Anything. Everything. You painted me the most wonderful pictures in your letters, Killian, that I really do want to hear them all,” Emma answers, noting how blushes at her compliment and the sound of his name on her lips. “But since you apparently were not so keen on telling me of your more dangerous exploits, then I want to hear that. What else was so dangerous that you felt like you couldn’t tell me?”

He is silent for a moment, his movements slowing as he considers her statement. Emma doesn’t care that they’ve begun to fall out of step with the music, far too intrigued by the series of emotions that are playing out across his handsome face. “You want something dangerous then? Truly dangerous? The most dangerous one of all?”

“Do as your princess commands, Killian.”

“Okay,” he says, steeling himself. “There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think of you.”

His statement may have not been what she expected, but Lieutenant Killian Jones is right – this is the most dangerous story of all.

Lieutenant Jones – Killian – looks at her with such deep blue eyes. They’ve since stopped moving, standing still in a storm of spinning dancers. He’s biting his lower lip, looking completely uncertain and doubting the leap of faith he just took. It wasn’t a declaration of love, but certainly one of intention, and his intention is one not meant for someone of his station.

He is lowborn, has not even an acre of land to his name. He confessed as much in his earlier letters, conveyed his desire to make something of the Jones name that meant so little to generations prior. She is a princess. She has expectations to marry, produce heirs, carry on her family’s name and reputation in an entirely different sort of way. Any sort of match or romantic liaison between them would be wrought in scandal. Emma can already envision the fit her parents’ advisors would throw if she were to announce that she intended to court a Naval Lieutenant.

But still…she remembers that her mother married a shepherd, and that her parents raised her with the promise of True Love, even if she doesn’t really know what it means. She recalls that in the early planning stages of the ball, her mother made passing comments about the man whose letters Emma held close to her chest, a knowing look in her eyes. Maybe, just maybe, she thinks, revealing a bit of herself to her Lieutenant would not be so terrible.

So she follows his lead, and takes a leap.

“Good.”

His answering smile is wide and brilliant, and one of the most beautiful things she has even seen. She’s starting to believe that maybe he was right the first night they met – there might be some light worth the cost of the darkness of war.

Not that she tells him that.

-/-

She kisses him on the docks, his fellow sailors whistling and her guards glowering as their lips meet in goodbye. She tells him that she wishes that he stay safe, and he tells her not to worry, that he will be fine.

“I’ll only be an ocean away,” he says with a wink, not at all addressing her real insecurities, the ones that invade her dreams and warp them into nightmares of him dying in the heat of battle. “I’ll be back, Emma, I swear it.”

“Just promise me that you’ll stay safe.”

“Of course, love, I’m a survivor.”

He kisses her one final time, stronger than before, and she returns it with just as much fervor, earning more jeers from the crew and a distinct clearing of throats from her guards. And then he is gone to his ship and back to the war, with the promise of more letters, one every time they make port, and she is left waiting, always waiting for a peace that won’t come quickly enough.

If she struggled with the war before Lieutenant Killian Jones entered her life, she has no idea how to describe her feelings now. Her sleep is plagued by nightmares of watching him die, her standing by unable to do anything to save him (And she can’t, so far away in her castle.) Blockades take new meaning, and she hangs onto every word of reports from the fronts when she sits in on council meetings. If anyone notices her renewed interests in the more tactical aspects of the war, they don’t comment on it.

They do, however, comment on other things, namely her blossoming romance with the naval lieutenant. Her parents seem happy for the most part, and encourage her along in her quest for True Love – not that she would call what she and her lieutenant have that. (Yet.) The councilors, who care not for her heart, balk at the idea, some more open than others. One night she thinks she finds hope when she hears one of her father’s more trusted men argue to “Let them be. We all know how young love is,” only for her hopes to be truly dashed when it is followed with, “Chances are, the boy will be killed and we won’t have to worry. ‘Tis the way of war.”

Her heart seizes at that, hearing confirmation that her nightmares could become a reality. She doesn’t like being powerless like this, having her heart held by someone in a place and situation over which she has no control. It makes her feel weak, and she loathes the emotion. Her mother finds her crying in her chambers one night, unable to reconcile bother her overwhelming love and terror while simultaneously drowning in the loneliness of not having her lieutenant by her side.

Her mother holds her, whispers soothing words in a way that reminds Emma of her childhood. She feels foolish crying like this. She is one and twenty, not a toddler afraid of the dark, but that thought only makes her cry harder.

“I know it hurts. Love is rarely easy. That’s what makes it special,” her mother says, fingers stroking Emma’s hair. “Early on, your father and I were separated quite a bit, and every time we parted, I would worry. It gets better, though, easier with time. I promise.”

Emma tries to take her mother’s words to heart. The whole thing is just so confusing to her. She wants to talk to Killian about it, her conflicting emotions, her fears of her death, how members of the council seem to even be wishing for it. She begins dozens of letters, and plans to use her mother’s birds to send them, but the words don’t come easy and guilt consumes her when they do. She doesn’t want to worry him with her own trivial concerns. He is fighting for his life and the kingdom as she sits idly in her palace. It would be unfair of her to unload on him. Besides, in the letters she does receive from him, he sounds so hopeful and happy. She can’t take that away.

His letters are just as powerful and descriptive as before, but this time his words are laced with flirtation and innuendo, each letter beginning with “My dearest, Emma” and closing with “to the best of women.” He tells her how the golden rays of the sun’s early light simply cannot compare to the brightness of her hair – “a pale imitation of your beauty, my love.” He tells that he dreams of her smile, and muses that his brother’s ship must have been named after her, because truly she is the greatest treasure in this, or any realm. He tells her that he cannot wait to return to her, that nothing can stand between him and her – not even a war.

“I hope you’ve realized by now that I am right about this whole war. It’s a terrible, terrible thing, but it’s brought me to you. You’re proof to this orphan that amidst darkness, there can be bright, brilliant light. You are my light, princess, the reason I keep fighting.”

After she didn’t rebuke him for his original confession that he constantly thought of her, he initially followed it with a tease about the reason being that he needed to stay alive to prove her wrong, because he “does so loathe anyone considering him to be in the wrong.” His letters tell a different story, though, one that warms her heart and encourages her to face her own torment of inactivity.

When her own doubts begin to overtake her, she thinks back on that one week that they shared together after the ball and before he returned to see. They had been so happy then, flirting and courting, taking long walks around the gardens and stealing kisses in shadowed corridors and empty rooms. They had talked then, not as princess and lieutenant, but as a young man and woman on the cusp of young love. It had been nice to talk to him face-to-face, to hear and not read his words. In person, he had been just as witty, charming even, no matter how ardently he denied it – still denies it, even. “I’m not your father, love.”

And he isn’t. Killian Jones is his own man, but just as Snow White fell for the shepherd-turned-prince, Emma takes certain delight in the fact that she’s falling for someone of lowly birth, as well. There’s a certain poetry to it. Her parents found True Love in one another, and though she’s not ready to admit she and Killian are there quite yet, the thought grounds her. But rest assured, Emma is ready for two simple things: for the war to end, and for her to see her Lieutenant again.

-/-

The war ends.

A blockade followed by a siege is what convinces the opposing kingdom to surrender, unwilling to allow any more of its citizens to starve and bleed. It’s a nasty business, war, and on human level, Emma feels uncomfortable with just what had to be done to ensure victory and protect their kingdom. Treaties still need to be signed and drafted, of course, but those will come quickly. As princess, she’ll be joining her parents in the negotiations. A not small part of her is eager to flex her diplomatic skills, to learn the nuances of soft power after a hard fought battle. One day, she will be Queen and the responsibility will fall to her shoulders. She hopes that time is far away. She’s not quite ready for that duty, nor does she want to lose her parents ever. But, her ascending to the throne is an inevitably, so Emma must learn.

In her spare moments, Emma counts down until she can once again see Killian. The war’s end means he can return home, and when he returns home, their courtship can continue. Every now and then, she finds herself glancing down to her bare finger, and wonders how soon it will be adorned with a ring. She also wonders that if – when – they become engaged, how Killian will fare by her side as a member of the royal family. He’ll be Prince Consort, of course, as he has no titles nor any land. Emma doubts he’ll mind.

She’s never been one to fantasize about weddings, but more often than not, she finds her thoughts drifting to balls and white dresses adorned with jewels, Killian dressed in Naval regalia. She daydreams of a marriage, of becoming a partnership, him and her. They compliment one another quite well and he certainly challenges her. Her mother always advised her to fall for someone who doesn’t allow you to be complacent, and that suits Emma just fine.

But then the worst happens, and Emma’s dreams go up in smoke.

News of the war, it seems, had not spread to everyone. An enemy vessel had seen a ship with Misthaven banners, and a skirmish had erupted. Her father tells her this gently, her mother by her side, and it’s then that Emma realizes that it hadn’t been any ship that was attacked, but the Jewel of the Realm. Captain Liam Jones is dead, they tell her. There’s no word on Killian.

For as many tears as Emma had shed during their early separation, Emma cries little now. She is oddly resolute. In shock, some say, and maybe she is. But Emma knows she cannot allow herself to fall apart, not when Killian’s world has been upended.

Killian isn’t dead. That she refuses to believe. She would know, wouldn’t she? Her parents have that sort of bond, why shouldn’t she and Killian? They love one another, don’t they? So, no, he isn’t dead.

But Liam is. That she knows. And if Liam is dead, Killian needs her. His brother means everything to him. She can tell by the reverent way Killian had written about him in his letters. Emma had been hoping, perhaps naively, to someday meet that man that means so much to the man she loves. But, she’ll never get that chance. Killian will also never get the chance for everything he’d been dreaming of. It’s the beginning of a nightmare, and she knows not when she’ll wake.

It grows worse after the Jewel is spotted heading toward port. She’d commanded that she be alerted when it was seen on the horizon, and she hurries down to the docks, her skirts swirling around her legs when a courier brings word. Her parents follow along, diligent in their care for her. They don’t speak it aloud, but they also believe Killian to be dead. But they’re wrong. They must be. They stand together as the Jewel comes closer. Surely, it’s an odd sight watching the royal family huddle so close together. It’s against normal protocol, surely, but Emma doesn’t care and neither do her parents. Killian means something to Emma, after all. After what feels like an eternity, she can finally make out then men on the Jewel. Most of them are strangers to her, but there are a few familiar faces she recognizes from the balls. The Jewel, itself, appears worse from wear, but it’s sailing. That’s what matters. It’s seaworthy enough to bring these men home, and she prays to every god she can think that one of those men is Killian. Then, she sees him. Emma is unable to make him out particularly well, but she knows it is him, knows it deep down in her bones. She exhales deeply, and her father claps his hand over her shoulder when she does. He’s home. He’s safe. After what feels like an eternity, the ship is docked and the gangplank lowered. Emma watches as the sailors disembark. Her parents thank each one, and they look grateful. Hollow still, but the appear to appreciate the gesture. Rarely anyone gets greeted by the King and Queen this way. Emma ought to greet them, as well, but she’s too busy waiting on Killian. Then, realizing that she doesn’t actually have to wait, she rushes up the gangplank to the deck of the ship. “Where’s Killian?” Emma asks one of the remaining stragglers, and he indicates that Killian had gone down the Captain’s Quarters. It would be the height of impropriety to go down unattended, but Emma hardly cares at this point. She gathers her skirts and climbs down the ladder. If Killian notices, he doesn’t acknowledge her. Instead, he remains sitting a desk, quill scratching into a thick book. A captain’s logbook, Emma thinks.

“Killian?”

He looks up then, and Emma’s heart sinks. His expression is so broken, so sad. Dark circles are under his eyes, and his beard is thicker. She wants to run to him, to wrap her arms around him and tell him everything will be okay. But that would be a lie, so she remains standing by the ladder.

“Princess,” he greets, and there’s no warmth in his tone. She pretends it doesn’t hurt.

“Killian, I’m…” She stumbles over her words, unsure of what to say next. Everything that comes to mind sounds so small compared to his monumental loss. Knowing she needs to say something, she settles on the simplest phrase, even if it does make her feel stupid. “I’m so sorry about Liam.”

“You should be,” Killian says, and it’s as if he’s just slapped her. He stands from the desk, pushing outward with an excessive use of force. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to report to the Admiral regarding the mission and my brother’s death.”

Emma holds her ground, even as she feels like crying. This is not the reunion she imagined. Not anything close. “Killian, what are you saying?”

“I’d rather not talk right now, Princess.”

“Well, I’d rather, so we are,” she says. She moves in front of the ladder. He’d have to physically move her out of way to leave, something she doubts he’d do. “What did you mean, by I should be sorry?”

“It was your war, wasn’t it? Liam wouldn’t have been dead if not for that,” he explains. He doesn’t look her in the eyes when he tells her this, but she can hear the bubbling rage beneath her words.

“I didn’t ask for this war, and I certainly didn’t want him to die.” She doesn’t shrink away from him, even as her heart breaks. “Besides, he knew what he was getting into when he—“

“You don’t get to say what he knew or didn’t know!” Killian argues. He looks up to her then, and Emma can see the red rimming his eyes. She wants to reach out to him, but doesn’t.

“I suppose I don’t, but I also don’t think you need to be yelling at me like this,” she says quietly. “I didn’t want this, never.”

“Then leave, Emma.”

“I don’t want to leave you right now. You’re hurting.” This time she reaches out to him, but it is Killian’s turn to shrink away.

“Go.”

Tears in her eyes, she acquiesces to his request. She does not tell him she loves him, and thinks maybe, just maybe she had been right all those months ago when they’d first met. There is no light.

-/-

It’s been weeks since she last spoke to Killian. Her heart feels as if it’s been torn from her chest, and crushed in front of her. She’d cried after she’d left him. Her father had been out for Killian’s blood, but her mother must have talked him out of anything too drastic.

She misses him. He might have hurt her, but she misses him. What’s left of her heart longs for him. Despite his silence, she still wants to comfort him. Is this what love is like? It’s something she asked her mother.

“He shouldn’t have spoken to you that way, but grief can make even the best of us lose our minds,” her mother had told her, her words providing a small comfort. Her mother offers no assurances that Killian will come back around, a clear sign that she doesn’t expect him to. There have been many times over the past few weeks that Emma has considering taking that step and offering an olive branch. But then she reminds herself that she did nothing wrong in this. The war hadn’t been her choice. Liam joining the Navy hadn’t been her choice. An enemy ship attacking hadn’t been her choice. Nothing had been her fault in this. If Killian wants to speak to her, he will have to make the first move. Recalling his grief, Emma doubts he will. But just as he done so before, he proves her wrong yet again.

He visits her on a snowy day. White snow blankets the castle’s grounds, and cold envelops the land, similar to the day they first met. In fact, it’s almost the year anniversary of that day. Emma is sitting by a roaring fire, a quilt thrown over her legs, when he comes. She’d been trying her hand at needlepoint, and her fingers have been pricked more times than she can count, but she carries on.

It is her mother who tells Emma he is here. “I can send him away if you’d like. Your father would surely prefer it, but this is your choice.”

“Send him in.”

Her mother gives her one parting look, and then privacy. Her mother trusts her to do what’s best for her heart, and that is something Emma appreciates.

“Hello,” Killian greets when he enters the parlor. Emma doesn’t rise to greet him, but she sits her poor attempt at needlework aside.

Killian tries to approach her, but thinks better of it. Instead of talking, they sit in silence for a few moments. There have been so many words left unsaid between them. Emma thinks about how months ago, she’d longed for nothing more except a moment to be with him, however now she is afraid of having her heart crushed further.

“Why are you here?” she asks, and she hates how brittle her voice sounds.

“I came to apologize. I behaved quite dishonorably the last time we talked,” Killian tells her. He moves closer to her, even if his movements resemble those of a skittish kitten. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way.”

“You shouldn’t have.”

“I know. It doesn’t absolve me in any way, but I was hurting,” he explains. “Liam was,” he voice cracks, “he was all I had for the longest time, and I didn’t know how to act without him. Rest assured, had he been alive, he would have cuffed me for treating you like that.”

“Had he been alive, I doubt you would have acted that way.”

“No, I wouldn’t have,” he admits. He looks away from her and toward the fire, shamefaced. “After you left, I immediately regretted what I said. I wanted to follow after you, and beg for your forgiveness, but I was a coward.”

“I would have given it to you,” Emma says immediately, and it’s true. She would have forgiven him, she would have welcomed him back into his arms.

“And now?”

“You hurt me quite a bit.”

“Aye.” Killian rakes his hand through his hair. It’s a bit longer than the day he had departed once again for the war, but nowhere near as long as it had been when they met. “Before all this, I had a plan, you know.”

“Oh?” She doesn’t mean to sound so interested, but she does.

“I was going to ask your father for your hand. I’d already had a ring, and I had been practicing how I’d ask with Liam. He said I was abysmal, but your father would still be a fool to turn me down,” he explains. His eyes take a glassy quality as he speaks, and Emma knows her own eyes reflect the same. A tear rolls down her cheek, but she refrains from wiping it away.

“I would have liked that.”

“And now?”

“And now I think my father would definitely turn you down,” Emma says with a small laugh. It’s not a confirmation of her answer, because she truly doesn’t know how’d she respond. Her heart had swooped when he’d made his confession. It had been everything she’d wanted, but his previous silence still hurt her, far more than his words ever could.

“I’ve been thinking about the night we first met,” Killian tells her, changing the topic of their conversation. Emma leans toward him, but says nothing more in a silent encouragement for him to continue. “I was naïve then, talking to you of all those grandiose ideas of how meeting you was worth the war.”

“So you don’t believe it now?” She asks, unable to keep the hurt from her voice.

“Yes and no. I’d told you about how I’d lost brothers in arms, but it wasn’t a loss quite like…like Liam,” he says softly. “I wouldn’t have said anything of the sort to you had I lost him then.”

“Oh.”

“But at the same time, if I’d never met you, I probably would have drowned myself in the bottle,” he tells her. He reaches out to take her hand, and Emma does not pull it away. “Thinking of you kept my grief from completely consuming me. I stumbled, clearly, the day I was reunited with you. And these few weeks without you have been hell. But if you had never come into my life, if I had never fallen in love with you, I don’t think I could have survived it.”

“You’re stronger than you think.”

“I’m not, not after how I behaved to you,” Killian tells her. “I know I don’t deserve it. I doubt I will, but I hope, someday, to find forgiveness.”

“Of course.” They don’t say anything after that. Emma squeezes is hand, and pulls Killian into a hug. In the comfort of her arms, he cries.

She doesn’t let go.

-/-

Killian proposes in the early spring, and they wed in the summer.

The heat is unbearable, but they solider through. Killian spins her around the ballroom for the first dance, and Emma laughs. The kingdom is in peace, and the happiness and frivolity does not feel misplaced. In fact, it feels deserved after everything they’ve been through. Liam’s presence is missed, but they find their ways to honor him. She commissions a painting based on a drawing Killian had made of Liam, and it hangs in one of the royal halls. Killian wears his brother’s sabre during the ceremony, and no one stands by his side by choice as they recite their vows.

It’d taken some time for Killian to win her father over, but he had done so. It had taken numerous talks between the two men, and a personal conversation between Emma and and father, one where he’d asked her where he heart lay. She’d told him the truth – it was, and will forever be, with Killian Jones.

She might not have met him if not for the war. He wouldn’t have been without his brother if not for the war. The war had made their lives fuller and shattered them all the same. But in the end, they found the light amongst they darkness. They found one another.

And they lived happily ever after.

#captain swan #cs ff #cs au #captain swan ff #lieutenant duckling #s writes fic

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themattress · 6 years

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Sailor Moon Story Arcs - Opinion Ranking

My opinions on the story arcs of Sailor Moon from the manga, original anime, and Crystal - and I am discounting the live-action show and musicals because of how different they are.

15. Nehelania (Anime) - Wow. This arc was bad. It has no excuse even existing and has little to do with the rest of the Stars series it’s in - all it does is wrap up all the loose ends the anime team found themselves left with because they couldn’t follow the manga. Chibi-Usa was still around at the end of Super S but she leaves by that point in the manga - best get her out of here in this arc, then! Oh, Sailor Saturn plays a role again in the manga? But we baby-fied her at the end of S and kept Professor Tomoe alive to raise her again! Quick, take her away from him and re-age her! But the absolute worst part of this arc would be everything about Nehelania herself, which not only pisses on her excellently dark characterization and fate from Super S, but tries so hard to make her a sympathetic villain that it crosses into downright patronizing. We are expected to believe that Haruka and Michiru, who were so coldly pragmatic that they were willing to kill a child in order to save the universe, would break down in tears over how oh-so-saaaaaad poor Nehelania’s lonely childhood was!? And that after all the horrible, heinous things she did, Nehelania gets a free pass to Heaven!? Seriously!? Ugh, I really fucking hate this arc. There are no redeeming qualities to it, at all.

14. Stars (Anime) - As the final arc of the anime, you’d expect something big and new and epic, something truly fitting as a conclusion. But nope! It’s just more of the same formula and elements we’ve already seen done before and done better in other arcs, plus stuff that wasn’t done well the first time (more forced angst regarding Usagi and Mamoru’s relationship!), and the largest butchery of the source material to date - Shadow Galactica is the weakest villain group of all when it should be the most formidable, Sailor Galaxia’s entire backstory and motivations are changed for the worse, Chibi Chibi is drastically changed as well to weaker effect, many characters and elements are absent altogether, and the Sailor Starlights go from peripheral characters to main characters, a huge mistake given how horrifically unlikable they all are. And do I even need to bring up the Usagi/Seiya “romance”? Most notably, after a drawn-out and boring finale, it just ends on a mundane kiss between Mamoru and Usagi. That’s fine for a season finale, but for the whole series? Weak, just like the whole damn arc.

13. Dark Kingdom (Crystal) - What a disappointment this was. A new Sailor Moon anime that is more faithful to the original manga, and it looks like shit! But even putting the animation aside, this arc’s big problem is that it didn’t know whether it did want to be truly faithful to the manga, or if it wanted to veer off into its own direction. And as a result, they try to play it both ways, to have their cake and eat it too, and it just doesn’t work. Maybe it could have worked if they had spread the arc across the 26 episode order they had, allowing them time to flesh things out. But instead, they kept things the same length as the manga, splitting the 26 episodes between the Dark Kingdom and Black Moon arcs...to the detriment of the former.

12. Black Moon (Crystal) - The second arc of Crystal was better than the first, if only by a margin instead of a mile. This would mainly be because this time around the staff decided to just stick to the manga exactly rather than try to have their cake and eat it too like before. There might be minor alterations here and there, such as giving the originally evil-to-the-end Prince Demande a more “redemptive” death (more in line with how he became known in the anime and musicals), but for the most part it’s scene-for-scene accurate. It would rate higher if not for the continued problem with the animation, which looks incredibly stiff and restrictive.

11. Dreams (Anime) - A 39-episode arc, and how many episodes are truly relevant to the plot? 15. So yeah, that’s a big problem right there. Other problems include the overtly light and childish tone, overfocus on Chibi-Usa at the expense of everyone else, and the demeaning power upgrade for Sailor Moon that means she has to rely on Pegasus in order to get anything done. It’s not all bad - the villains are great, and the 6-part finale is excellent. But on the whole, it was clear at this point that Ikuhara needed to just go make Utena already.

10. Infinity (Anime) - The first half of this arc was pretty damn solid. The new trio of Sailor Uranus, Neptune and Pluto was interesting, Chibi-Usa’s return as Sailor Chibi-Moon was late but still welcome, the dark undertones and Holy Grail mythology were done perfectly, and we had two of the best villains the anime has ever had in Professor Tomoe and Eudial. But things go off the rails along with Eudial’s car, with Infinity Academy, Hotaru Tomoe / Sailor Saturn, Mistress Nine and Pharaoh 90, the rest of Witches 5, Sailor Pluto’s belated death, and even a resurrected Kaolinite all thrown in haphazardly, causing the pace to crumble and the quality to decline. It all ends with an almost incomprehensible finale, which is followed by two more episodes even though the main conflict has already wrapped up! The arc even ends on the exact note that the manga’s Black Moon arc did, which just further hammers home what a mess this all was. Many people think S was the best season, but sorry, I just can’t agree.

9. Dreams (Manga) - While certainly better structured than the Dreams arc of the anime, I can’t help but find the Dreams arc of the manga to be its weakest. Not only is a chapter short of what the two arcs before it and the arc after it were, but aside from further character development for the main characters, there wasn’t much to offer compared to all the other arcs. The Dead Moon Circus was the weakest villain group in the manga, the twist of the Amazon Quartet being pre-destined Sailor Senshi who were brainwashed was weak and took away from their characters, Helios is one of the least memorable characters the series has to offer, and the whole Elysian, mirror, fairy tale mumbo-jumbo was just weird and didn’t quite fit with the usual tone. Again - better than the anime, but it still feels almost as much like filler.

8. Dark Kingdom (Manga) - The first arc of the original manga, and originally all that Naoko Takeuchi planned to make. It’s a pretty solid story, with a tragic Romeo and Juliet-style background to the reincarnation romance that’s at the center of it, and retroactively becomes even stronger with the full Sailor V manga attached to it. The main downside is the lack of strong characterization for the characters who aren’t Usagi and Mamoru . Of the Senshi and Shitennou, only Sailor Venus and Kunzite receive any significant development. The cats, Luna and Artemis, and the main villain, Queen Beryl, are also portrayed fine. But the rest of the Senshi and Shitennou, not to mention the entire supporting cast, are all very thinly drawn and don’t leave much of an impact. If you aren’t invested in the central romance, then you’re probably not going to get much out of this story arc. But I still think it’s fine as a debut outing.

7. Stars (Manga) - The final manga of the arc. Unlike its anime counterpart, it is a fitting, epic conclusion to the series, with Sailor Moon fighting a fierce war against the forces of Shadow Galactica, losing all her loved ones in the process, and being taken all the way to the source of all life in the universe, the Galaxy Cauldron, and her ultimate enemy, Chaos. The main problem with this arc is that, at only 10 chapters, there are so much new characters and ideas packed into it and not enough time for them to breathe and have the full impact that they should. Toward the end, things get downright confusing. But the emotions still come across very clearly, and an emotional send-off to Sailor Moon is really all I could ask for.

6. Makai Tree (Anime) - Now this is how you do a “filler arc”. For starters, it’s not entirely filler since it bridges the gap between the anime’s Dark Kingdom and Black Moon arcs. It’s also the perfect length - 13 episodes - with very clearly defined beginning, middle and end sections. And lastly, the villainous duo of Ail and En are great characters, walking the line between being credible threats and being goofy, and their development in having to learn what love really is and see the error of their selfish ways is very well-done and touching. The only real problem is the Moonlight Knight, who is just plain irritating. Tuxedo Mask he ain’t.

5. Infinity (Manga) - Magic and space have been part of Sailor Moon from the beginning, but science, a natural compliment to them, had been largely absent outside of Sailor Mercury’s skills. Takeuchi changed that with her third arc, where a science academy was the chief antagonists, with their plan mixing magic and a distant galaxy for good measure. Add to this the introductions of all the rest of the Sailor Senshi - Uranus, Neptune and Saturn - and we have one of the manga’s best arcs. In fact, the manga arguably reached its peak right here.

4. Infinity (Crystal) - Why is the Crystal version above the manga’s even though it’s basically the same? Because it has 13 episodes as opposed to 10 chapters, which means that the story and characters get more time and expanded depth. And with the animation finally looking good thanks to Chiaki Kon, this stands as the definitive version of the Infinity arc.

3. Black Moon (Manga) - This arc is the best one in the manga, IMO - it’s when Takeuchi really came into her own when it came to plotting, with a story that’s more interesting and less generic than the previous one. And in a manga where only one or two villains per arc tend to be really fleshed out, this arc has four - Demande, Safir, Rubeus, and Esmeraude - who feel like full characters with real depth, history and motivation behind them. It also uses the concept of time travel well, which is very hard to do. Add to this some good character development for the main characters, a heroic death that isn’t reversed by the end, and a truly intense final battle, and you have the arc that really proved Sailor Moon’s staying power.

2. Black Moon (Anime) - It was a really close call between the Black Moon arc of the manga and the Black Moon arc of the anime. But despite the three big shortcomings of the anime version (a lack of the titular Black Moon, that horrendous Usagi/Mamoru break-up subplot, and the notorious dinosaur filler episode), I feel the three big improvements it made over the manga make up for them. First of all, it actually keeps Sailor Mars, Mercury and Jupiter around for the entirety of the arc and allows the ensemble dynamic that made the series such a hit to stay in place. Second, I prefer the way Chibi-Usa’s development is handled and concluded here, with the big climactic moment not relying on Sailor Pluto and instead putting the focus where it be should be, on her parents Usagi and Mamoru. Finally, while a lack of Nemesis is a shame, the Black Moon Clan and their Malefic Black Crystal actually making it to Tokyo in the present day for the finale actually ups the stakes dramatically - it’s not just the future in danger anymore, but everything and everyone the Sailor Senshi hold dear right now. The manga may have peaked with the Infinity arc, but the anime definitely peaked here.

1. Dark Kingdom (Anime) - To my dying day, I will always maintain that Sailor Moon was never better than it was in its original anime arc. The show’s first season took Naoko Takeuchi’s concept for the manga, which was being serialized co-currently with the anime, and perfected it. The writing, the pacing, the atmosphere, the characters, the music, the animation - just about everything is excellently pulled off. Oh, and the arc’s finale puts the manga’s to shame, being dark, gut-wrenching, heartfelt and powerful in all the right ways.

This moment right here? It can never be topped.

#Sailor Moon #Opinion #Analysis

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lunadensmidnightprowl · 3 years

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New Moon Dreams - Chapter 4

Finally, I’m posting Chapter 4!

(Even though no one seems to be reading the story...)

~~~ Liar, Liar... Why Aren’t Her Pants On Fire? ~~~

Lila returns and of course goes back to spreading her embellished falsehoods. Just like Ladybug, Alexia's not having it, there won't be any attention-seeking liars on her watch. While during the process of attempting to best Lila's lies, exposing her true intentions, shocking surprises are unveiled. Even without these revelations, things are not like they were last time, a little extra force is required to take the liar down. Who said you could never fight fire with fire?

~ Lunaden POV ~

So that's it, I guess. Me and Chat are dating.

Come to think of it, maybe it was to be expected, we both sort of hit it off with each other when we first met. I can only assume really because I can't just flit in and out of Little Cat's head.

Don't get me wrong, having a boyfriend will be a hella of an adventure, something I can't wait for. School, something I would rather die waiting.

***

Walking down the street the next day, my mind kept going straight back to the events of the night before. I kissed someone, I had my first kiss, and well, my first 'significant other'. I don't want to straight up call it boyfriend because if I'm bi, I could easily have had a girlfriend if the situation had been different.

Compared to what's going on in my life, school is something that's not even worth 2 cents. But heck, if I stop going my parents are going to make my death slow and painful, so, why not?

I had come earlier today, Claire was still eating breakfast when I went out the door, I was mainly trying to avoid her endless mirage of teasing. Unfortunately, I sit next to her in all my classes so my moment of victory is pretty short lived.

Mari, late as always, was still nowhere to be seen so Alya was the only person there to talk to out of my close friends when I got there, even Adrien hadn't shown up yet. My orange tipped, brunette friend was almost always on the money, spotting clues that most people missed, she caught my sudden change in mood straight away.

"Girl what're you thinking about that's got you all crazy?" she asked me as soon as I approached her.

"Uhhh..." my face flushed a bit, what could I tell her? If I told her the truth that I was dating Noir then she would be all over me, pressuring to get an interview from Chat. When the city finally did find out that Lunaden and Chat Noir were dating, then Alya would be able to expose me as Lunaden, no questions asked this time and evidence irrefutable.

"Oh my gosh, you didn't....! Do you have a boyfriend or something?" Darn Alya and her being so smart, she was right on the dot as usual!

My face only flushed darker as a reply.

She squealed, "You do! C'mon girl, tell me all the deets!!"

I shook the question off, lowering my head in embarrassment and heading to my seat. Almost exactly as I sat down was when Claire came in through the door, Adrien a second later.

"What's got Alya all riled up?" Claire asked me as she sat down.

My blush must've said it all.

Claire was giggling, an unusual occurrence for her, "Oof, she found out you have a boyfriend, didn't she?"

"I didn't even say anything and she guessed it right away!" I said exasperatedly. Glancing down at the front I saw Adrien looking quickly up at me. For some inexplicable reason, him looking at me made my face go redder, HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?! What really was the kicker was that with sharpened vision from my miraculous, I could see that he was faintly blushing, WHY IS HE BLUSHING?!

I just ignored it as Mari came into the class on time for once, the teacher then starting the class when the bell rang. Ms. Bustier however wasn't standing up at the front alone, a girl with long, brownish-auburn hair tied in ponytails, olive green eyes, and of all things, a romper, was standing with her. (Personally I have nothing against rompers, right here its just the person in it, Lila - the lying bitch)

"Lila has returned to Paris from her trip to the kingdom of Achu!" Ms. Bustier said happily, the girl beside her waving and smiling at everyone.

"Who's this 'Lila' girl?" a voice in my head asks. The other part of my brain, the rebellious sailor mouth answers it, "A real pain in the ass I'd bet." A third voice, my Lunaden side, is telling both of them to shut the fudge up.

The girl opened her mouth, "It's so nice to see all of you again after spending so long in Achu for my charity work!"

Right now I'm agreeing with Sailor mouth Lexi, this 'Lila' is definitely going to be a pain, she's sucking up to the entire class and LYING to them about charity work. How do I know she's lying? Being a superhero means I have to constantly lie to keep my identity a secret, with that practice I can see through almost everyone else's lies, though I have to admit that Lila's seem pretty well crafted.

Claire was looking over at me, no doubt waiting to hear my take on the person. She knew my knack for seeing through deception and being able to easily analyze a person's real character. I just glared at Lila for another minute, wanting to be sure that my suspicions were correct, I wanted to make sure she was completely sinister before I said anything. However, after a minute of staring down the oblivious liar, nothing changed my feelings toward her.

"Don't trust the lying bitch," I mumbled under my breath for Claire to hear, never breaking my gaze on said liar.

Claire nodded, she was starting to see Lila's lies all around I could tell. Lila really was a brat, more than even Chloe. We both pitied Nathanial who had to sit next to her.

Even though Lila was pretty much sucking up to everyone, there were a few differences I could see when class finally got into gear. Lila would glare at Mari, Chloe even, when no one was watching. In the same circumstance with no one viewing her, she stared longingly at Adrien. I could tell all this just by staring at the back of her head, which for the record, was right in front of me. Piecing together well thought out assumptions, ah yes, Lila must be irritated between Mari and Chloe because they also have crushes on Adrien.

"Big mistake bitch," I thought, "You take on my friends, and even my unofficial enemy Chloe, who's more friend than you'll ever be, you take on me. And believe me, you don't wanna do that."

***

I was walking down the steps after school, Mari and Alls were held back at the last class, the teacher wanted to talk to them about something. I don't know to be honest, I was spaced out and glaring at Lila the entire day, oblivious to whatever they had been doing. Claire jogged up next to me, slowing down to keep pace with my walk.

"How are you doing?" she asked.

Snapping out of a trance, mainly thinking about how I could possibly expose Lila's lies, I jerked my head to face Claire with a confused expression, "What d'you mean?"

Claire shrugged, "You just seemed off today, I'm guessing it has something to do with Lila?"

"It's obvious I guess," I sighed, my posture slumping a little, "That's all today is about isn't? Lila. I heard so many people gushing over her today, how cool she is, everything she's done, etc. I even heard her say that she met Lunaden once when she was in Nashville, as if! For one, I never went to Nashville except for the whole HB thing, second, I've never seen this girl before in my life! I can't believe they believe all her lies, all day it near drove me out of my mind how dense some of these people are."

Claire nudged my arm, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth, "Well sometimes you can be pretty dense too."

"And oblivious!" a smaller voice said. Skai poked her head out of my bag, "And sometimes she can be both."

"I second that notion tiny wolf... thing," Claire said matter of factly, pointing a finger into the air.

"Shush Skai! Get down before someone sees you!" I hissed, trying to shield the view of Skai until she disappeared back into my bag, away from prying eyes. I turned to address Claire, "I keep forgetting you haven't met her yet. I have a lot to tell you when we get back home."

We had barely made it two steps farther down the steps when a voice called out to us, "Hey! You two!"

Turning to face this person, we came face to face with none other than Lila. Holding back curses and refraining myself from glaring, I greeted her, "Hi Lila! Whatcha need?"

"Hi," she said, "You're Alexia and Claire right? I just wanted to ask if you two are new or something, I've never seen you guys before."

"Uhh, kinda," Claire started.

"Yeah, me and Claire moved here about a month ago," I finished, eyeing her, "Why did you want to know."

"I just wanted to see if we could possibly become friends, I can always help if you guys need it. I'm sure you'd probably do the same for me," she smiled sweetly. I was not. Having. It.

Looking to Claire for confirmation, she nodded, knowing what I was asking to do. I got right into Lila's face, no longer holding back my glare, if looks could kill, Lila would have been 6 feet under right that second. "We will never be friends," I spat, "You may have everyone else fooled with your lies and trickery but we are not so easily duped. Stop before you regret your actions you lying brat."

Lila glanced around before she responded, no one was paying attention to our little 'chat', there was barely anyone around anyway. She smirked, this time getting into both of our faces, "I'm not the one who's gonna regret their actions, you two are." Lila's smile dripped with venom and malice, each word punctuated in the most threatening and confident way possible, "You're new but that doesn't mean I don't know enough about you to ruin your lives, everyone believes me. I won't be the liar, you two will."

"Yeesh, what a villain," Claire complained to me as we watched Lila sashay away.

"She's almost as scary as Hawk Moth," I commented in agreement.

***

Trying to get Lila's threat off of our minds, I dragged Claire to my room when we got home. Closing the door and curtains before I spoke to her.

Skai flew out of my bag, circling around Claire's head a few times before coming to rest on my shoulder. "Claire," I said, gesturing to the little wolf, "This is Skai, my kwami."

Claire looked confused to put it mildly. I held up the end of my braid so she could clearly see the bow on the end of it.

"This bow is the wolf miraculous," I explained, "A miraculous is a piece of jewelry connected with a certain kwami, Skai is the wolf kwami. Kwamies are basically little gods that when merged with their miraculous, can give the user powers, they transform the user into a superhero."

"So... how does this all work? How is this a little god, that can connect with that?" Claire asked, first gesturing to Skai then to my bow.

"My most scientific analysis, with all means of science and technology in mind, is that it's magic," I replied, quoting one of my favorite books.

Claire rolled her eyes at my reference, but I ignored it, my mind had already moved onto something else. "Hey, you want to see something cool?" I asked excitedly.

My sister nodded, "Sure."

I turned to Skai perched on my shoulder, "Ready?" I whispered.

She smiled, "Let's do it!"

"Skai, Howl Time!" I transformed into Lunaden. Laughing at Claire's agape mouth, I smiled, "It's pretty cool right?"

She nodded.

I was debating about destransmorming but, heck, I was already in this form. "Well," I said, "Since I'm like this I'm gonna patrol for a bit. See ya later Claire." I waved, opening my window, jumping out of it when I was sure no one was looking, well, other than Claire.

"You owe me for this," Skai said inside my mind. Recently she had started talking to me when I was transformed, why, I don't know. Maybe it was just to bother me, but I didn't care, I appreciated the company.

"Would a bag of candied fruit suffice Alpha?" I thought back, a smile forming on my face.

"Indeed it would Beta," she said, I could hear the amusement in her voice.

I laughed out loud at that, before going back to focusing my attention on where I was going as I ran across rooftops. It was strange, when I went on patrols I almost never went out in the daytime, that was more of a Ladybug thing. Chat and I liked to go out at night when we blended into the darkness, using our night vision when Lady could hardly see at all. Hey, speaking of that, maybe Lady was out, even with Skai inside my head I still could use someone to talk to, preferably one that was solid at the moment.

"Hey!" Skai shouted inside my mind.

I snickered, imagining my kwami pouting, her cute little paws crossed and her tail twitching irritably.

Sure enough, when I opened my disc, Ladybug's symbol was there as she did her patrol. She stopped moving abruptly and I was kind of confused, was there an akuma or some other kind of trouble?

Snapping my disc shut, I took off in her direction, not really sure where because I hadn't looked close enough before I started moving. Swinging from the rooftops more spaced out, I crossed streets, occasionally I would hear someone cry my name in joy, I was a rare sight to see in the day without an akuma.

I spotted the red clad figure on a very familiar rooftop, why had she stopped there of all places? Landing beside her on the roof of my school from a jump from across the street, I think I nearly scared her out of her suit. Lady visibly jumped with my sudden appearance, a little shriek accompanying it. It was then that I noticed that the fencing team was running practice at the time in the open area of the building, maybe she was just into fencing.

"I didn't know you were into fencing Lady," I smirked, still amused with her reaction when I showed up.

"Er, yeah, let's go with that," she replied.

I rolled my eyes, okay, so she wasn't actually into fencing, just here to watch I guess? About ready to pressure her further, something else caught my eye and I stopped myself. Lila, walked into the area, sitting down on a bench to watch the practice. The instructor came up to her not long after she had seated herself, at first it seemed that he wanted her to leave but in the end she ended up, staying? Was that a smile on the instructor's face after he had talked to her?

My confused train of thoughts was interrupted when I heard a low growl. Surprised, I looked around, normally it probably would have come from me but this time it didn't, it actually belonged to Lady.

Now that I was shocked by, she wasn't usually so... vicious, towards anyone, even akumas. Did she really hate Lila that much?

"So," I mused, "You hate Lila too I'm guessing?"

"I just can't understand how people believe her lies! Why can't they just see she's a liar, a bad person, she nearly got away with getting me expelled!" Bug ranted until the last line, she slapped her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide.

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion, did she just say that? The only person I knew that got expelled, even though extremely brief, because of Lila was... "Mari?..." I voiced my conclusion out loud, my eyes bugging out in surprise too as I turned to face her. Now that I thought about it, Ladybug really looked like Mari, how had I not seen it before?

However, Lady's eyes narrowed when I said what I thought, she voiced her entire thought process out loud, "The only people who call me that..." Her eyes went wide as she looked at me, "Lexi?..."

We just kept looking at each other, unable to comprehend what just happened, maybe even willinging that it never did. (Stares in shock lol)

"I can't believe I never saw it earlier, how could I be so stupid?..." I mumbled.

"Same, Alya was right then, she told me that she suspected you were Lunaden. I kind of refused to believe it..." Ladybug said quietly, more to herself than to me really.

"I'm glad she dropped the investigation though, one more slip up and she probably would have had me," I laughed, Lady was giggling too.

Something just popped into my head, these random thoughts jeez, "Well, now I feel awkward."

"Why?"

"Now you know who I am and I'm also dating Chat," I replied, more sheepishly than usual.

"I shipped it!" she cried, not loud enough for anyone else to hear though.

I laughed again, turning my head I saw the fencing class starting to pack up, Lila was approaching one of the fencers. Said fencer removed his mask, Adrien, I should have known.

"So that's why she's here," I growled, crouching forward on my hands, looking ready to pounce and like a real wolf, ears flattened and tail twitching.

Ladybug saw what I saw, it did not seem she was happy about it either, oh that's right, she's actually Mari who has a crush on Adrien too. Yeesh, this is getting confusing, and kind of old, real fast.

3rd Person POV

The practice ended and everyone was leaving to change and head home soon after, Adrien was on his way to do just that when Lila approached. He had to be honest, he didn't remember any of what she said, he had kind of tuned her out as he focused on something else. Something had caused him to look up, and that's when he saw them, Ladybug and Lulu, they both were on the roof, seeming to have watched the practice, but now they looked angry, possibly glaring at someone.

Events from several months before came back to him, Ladybug had unintentionally hurt Lila, trying to stop her from lying when she discovered what the girl was doing. Unfortunately the event had left Lila bitter, she succumbed to one of Hawk Moth's akumas and became Volpina, a fox themed miraculous user, hoping to prove to everyone that she actually was a superhero, turning her lie into a reality. They had defeated Volpina for what seemed like the final time a while ago, she was never seen since.

What confused him most was how Lunaden was glaring at the oblivious auburn-brunette as well, did Ladybug tell her the story or something...? Wait, no, that wasn't it. Lexi had seemed... off, all day, ever since Lila first arrived in homeroom that is. Maybe she just didn't get along with Lila or something.

Aforementioned girl was waving in front of his face, calling his name. He quickly apologized, telling her he had zoned out. Lila went to repeat everything she had said but stopped when she realized Adrien wasn't looking at her at all. She followed his gaze to see the two superheroines on the rooftop. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of Ladybug, a small spark of fear in them when they landed on Lunaden. Did the wolf hero know she had lied about meeting her?

Lila shook it all off, turning back to Adrien but he had already disappeared from her sight. She cursed the bug and wolf themed heroes, they had ruined her chance of talking to Adrien yet again. Lila went to glare at the figures perched on the roof but they had probably realized they had been seen because they were now gone.

This time it didn't seem like it was just Ladybug though that had ruined her chance of talking to her crush, when she had followed Adrien's gaze to see the heroes herself, Lila had seen him looking longingly, almost lovingly, at Lunaden, not realizing in that exact moment what it was. Now she knew, now Lunaden stood in her way to him too. That worthless dog would be running home with her tail between her legs when she was done with her.

***

The large window of Hawk Moth's lair opened, the butterflies rising as light poured into the room. Hawk Moth himself stood in the center of the room, which was barren of anything but the butterflies. He felt the young teen's powerful emotions, those of hatred, heartbreak, and the strongest, desperation. What a combination, this girl when akumatized before had proven to be a very valuable ally, now with these emotions she could prove herself to be of even greater worth.

A pure white butterfly flew into his open palm, he embodied it with darkness, his powers, the malediction of it showing as the butterfly now had a dark and grisly color. The evil little messenger flew out of a small opening in the window, flying across the city until it reached the targeted girl, being absorbed into her bracelet. The all too infamous, glowing purple butterfly outline of Hawk Moth when he spoke through the akuma to his victims, shone on her face.

"Volpina..."

"Hawk Moth."

~ Lunaden POV ~

When I noticed that not only had Adrien seen us, but Lila as well, I grabbed Lady's wrist, ready to run. Adrien had already left the scene, probably using us as a distraction to get away with Lila. At school he seemed to tolerate her, he wasn't all impressed with her but more just regarded her as a normal person, more or less.

As Lila turned, expecting to face Adrien, who was no longer there, I pulled Ladybug along with me as I made my escape, vanishing from the rooftop. She seemed surprised by my actions but I would explain once we were far enough away.

2 blocks away from the school I stopped, looking around anxiously for Lila, could she have followed us? I knew, mainly from discovery that something had happened between Lila and Lady, both as her superhero self and just as Mari. Whatever it was, I hadn't wanted to stick around to see Lila's vendetta against the ladybug clad hero.

"What was that about?" Lady asked me, somewhat irritably as she pulled her wrist out of my grasp.

"They saw us. I wanted to get away before... You have something against Lila, don't you? As Ladybug and as Mari." I replied, my anxiety somewhat calming down when I realized we were absolutely alone, at least on the rooftop, no Lila in sight on the ground.

"Yeah... She hates me, resents me probably because I ruined her chance to talk to Adrien several months ago," she sighed.

"Wow, so many girls who have the hots for Adrien," I smirked, "Can't say I'm not surprised, he kind of had it coming."

"Lexi!" she flushed embarrassed, "I'll ha-"

"Shush!" I held up a hand to silence her, my wolf ears were swiveling furiously to pinpoint a sound, it came from a distance, not within range to hear our conversation, thank goodness. But the sound, it was sort of like a... swoosh.

"We're not alone..." I growled low, just loud enough for Lady to hear. Snatching my disc off of my back, I held it ready, the air was taunt with tension, something was definitely up. "Show yourself! We know you're there!" I called, eyes narrowed, scanning.

A familiar dark figure appeared from behind the cover of a chimney, "Wow, I can never get anything past you Lunaden."

"Chat!" Ladybug said relieved, "We thou-"

I threw an arm protectively in front of her. "That's not Chat," I hissed. Hearing something approaching behind us, I expanded my disc to a shield and glanced back.

"Chat...?" Lady said again, more hesitantly this time.

I nudged Bug, making it clear in that one action what I was about to do. She swung her yoyo like a shield, prepared for instantaneous action as I tackled the newly approaching Noir.

He squirmed under my grip, "Lunaden, it's me!" he pleaded.

"Oh yeah?" I snarled, "Then you won't have any trouble answering this question." I dropped my voice to a whisper, "What is my real name?"

"Lexi," he whispered almost inaudibly, just loud enough for me to hear.

My eyes widened and quickly got off of him, "Sorry about that Little Cat."

"Nah, its cool," he shrugged it off, "You did what you had to do." His voice turned sly as he grinned at me, "I knew you would recognize me sooner or later Lulu, you can't resist me."

He went in for it but I gently pushed him away, a light blush dusting my cheeks, just barely peeking out from under my mask, "Later, kitty."

Ladybug sighed out in relief as we rejoined her, her face then turning inquisitive as her eyes landed back on the Chat Noir several feel away. "But if he's Chat... then, who's that?"

"I have my suspicions..." I growled, retracting my shield to a disc, I threw it at the fake Noir. When it should have made contact with him, he just vanished in a wisp of orange mist, the disc returning to my hand. "Volpina," I spat.

Having been revealed, the vixen villain jumped up onto a roof vent, smirking maliciously, "Well, apparently you aren't as dumb of a dog as you look."

Both Noir and I gave her a warning growl, however the way she was going, they weren't going to be warnings much longer.

Taking her down should have been a sitch, but heck this damned deceptionist had brains, I'll give her that. She always seemed to know which illusions to use and when to use them to best benefit her with our few disadvantages. Always managing to allude our grasp, I was growing desperate, she annoyed me to the moon and back. Lady still hadn't used her Lucky Charm yet, no plan seemed to be able to go against Volpina, at least just yet.

If she wasn't going to use her power, then I would, already having a plan in mind. Throwing my disc into the air, "Eclipse!" I shouted.

When the light parted I was revealed to be an almost exact replica of Volpina, except that my eyes were my normal electric blue. My reasoning was to fight fire with fire, the only way to beat Volpina was as Volpina. I had become Lupina, and when it comes to powers, I have something the Volpina doesn't, something I added when I thought of a form to transform into. (Lil quick thing here: Luna can't use her powers to transform into things, like creatures and such, from her own imagination. However, she can change things of an already existing form. Ex. She could transform into you but have feather wings on her back. Make sense? I hope you get it, and another thing: No matter what form she takes, her eyes will always be the shocking blue. Okay, sorry for disrupting the chapter, just wanna clarify all that) I can create SOLID illusions, only one at a time, but still.

"Try me little foxy!" I taunted Volpina.

"You're on little wolfie!" She called back.

3rd Person POV

Both Volpinas clashed in the middle, hands trying to hold the other back. It was evenly matched, one couldn't seem to get the upper hand over the other.

Both vixen themed characters pulled back, pulling their flutes out on each other. Volpina played a few quick notes on her weapon, an orange ball of light forming at the end of her flute, summoning an army of herself to hide in. Lupina played a longer tune on her flute, the notes clear and smooth, dripping like honey dew, the ball of energy at the end of her flute became much bigger, not glowing orange like the original Pina, but a pure blue-white, a Lunaden clone appeared. One of the Volpinas smirked, throwing her flute at the clone, expecting it make the illusion vanish, it didn't. The Lunaden clone caught the flute, getting a grip on it, she held both weapons, flute and her disc, into a fighting stance.

It was only a second before a section of Lupina's fox miraculous pendant vanished. "4 minutes left..." the tail seemed to say. The battle was four on one, what should have been an easy victory for the heroes but Volpina held them off, reclaiming possession of her weapon, swinging her flute left and right, kicking and punching, blocking attacks, and so forth.

Time ran out for Lupina, in a flash of blue light that covered her body, the transformation disappeared and she became Lunaden again, the clone vanishing with the shift. While she was just coming out of the change of powers and appearance, Volpina got the drop on the wolf heroine, with a sharp kick to the stomach the girl clad in blue went sprawling to the ground.

Ignoring the throbbing pain that originated in her midsection and spread through her body, Lunaden raised herself, preparing to fight the fox girl who seemed to be momentarily distracted. What had taken away the attention from her made all the agony in her muscles leave Lunaden at that very moment. Chat Noir was charging at Volpina, staff raised as if it was sword, anger clearly clouded his thoughts.

"Batter up," Volpina said, smirking and holding her flute like you would a baseball bat. She hit Little Cat straight in the ribs, sending him flying back into the brick wall of a taller building. After the impact, he crumpled back onto the roof, not moving for a minute before beginning the stir, weakly trying to raise himself to stand.

"Chat! That's it," Lunaden growled, "No more nice little wolfie." She charged at Volpina with a feral yowl of fury, her jaws snapping, and her sharpened claws raking through the air. She wasn't satisfied with the level of harm she caused until she felt her claws rip through Volpina's suit, drawing blood.

"Lulu!" Noir called, the black cat had managed to find the strength to start running towards her, adrenaline no doubt pulsing through his veins as an aid. The blue diamond in the center of her bow started to flash, less than a minute left before her identity would be revealed.

Lunaden felt something tackle her, pulling her away from Volpina. The force of her and said person, Chat she saw, launched both of them off of the roof and into an alley. Out of sight just a second before Luna transformed back

Alexia struggled to raise herself after she landed, the wind knocked out of her. She groaned, putting her arms beneath her and pushing herself up. Chat seemed a little more okay, he had his miraculous powers to protect him, Alexia had to rely on just physical strength and hoping her body was strong enough to take the hit.

~ Alexia/Lunaden POV ~

I groaned, raising myself, everything hurt, no bones broken, still, everything hurt. "You okay...?" I coughed, trying to get my breath back, and asking Noir a question at the same time.

"I'm fine," his reply was a little shaky, as he recovered from the impact with the ground. "But why are you asking me that question? You're the one who just feel three stories without any powers to help cushion your fall!"

Sitting up with a grimace, I shrugged, "I care about you," I rolled my eyes like this was the most obvious thing in the world.

Arms wrapped around me, not tight because you know, things hurt, but still comforting as Chat hugged me. I just managed to process that he had tears at the corners of his eyes as he buried his face into my neck. Sitting there like an idiot, it was a second before I hugged him back, closing my eyes as I warmed up to the action. (Lil Lexi/LunaXChat fluff for ya there ^w^)

"Can't... breathe!..." A little voice gasped.

We both came apart at the voice, Skai flying feebly upwards. She shook her head, fluffing out her flattened fur, "Woo, I'm all for LunaNoir and stuff but we still have an akuma or have you guys forgotten?"

Reaching inside my bag, I pulled out several pieces of candied fruit, offering them to her in my palm. The little wolf grinned broadly and went to town on them, getting her energy back up.

"I think I may have a plan," I smiled.

"I hope it's better than your last plan," Noir smirked.

"Oh, don't worry," I grinned confidently, "It will be."

Leaning close I whispered my plan in his ear, "What I want you to do it pretend like I'm seriously hurt, make sure she doesn't see me as a threat. I'll join you and Lady in a little bit to set my plan into action, see you soon Little Cat." And with those words of parting, I snuck out of the alley and onto the street.

~ Time Skip - brought to you by the contact lenses store ~

Coming back to the alley where I had left Noir, to find it empty, I went on with my plan. Putting a small bag to the side so it wouldn't vanish as my superhero suit appeared, and making sure the light of the transformation wouldn't be seen, I became Lunaden. With enhanced hearing I could hear the battle between Ladybug and Chat Noir versus Volpina, they were still on the same roof as before. I was proud of how well Chat had explained my plan to Lady, in between the grunts of the fight I picked up small sobs and traces of anger, good acting Chat.

Using the same process as before, I used my power, "Eclipse!" I whispered this time, throwing my disc just a few inches above my head.

When the transformation was complete, I quickly grabbed the small bag I had brought, this needed to be quick, I was running out of time. Taking a small mirror out of the bag, I saw my new reflection. I had transformed into Adrien, planning on using Lila's crush on the guy against her, the only difference was my shocking blue eyes. I reached inside the bag once more, pulling out some contact lenses, sticking them in my eyes, they turned green.

Scaling up the fire escape of the building with more agility than you can imagine, I peeked over the edge to see the good versus evil fight still raging. Pulling myself into character, I got onto the roof, ready to draw attention to me.

"Stop it Lila!" I called, but with Adrien's voice.

Everyone turned to me, Lady and Chat seemed extremely confused, Lila was just looking at me in shock. Oh gosh this would be awkward with Mari's and Lila's crushes. Behind my back, I crossed my fingers, showing it to Noir before I spoke again.

"Don't let Hawk Moth control you Lila, don't let your anger get the best of you," I said, seeing Chat's recognition out of the corner of my eye.

Lila's crush on Adrien had taken full control of her now, and while that awkwardness was going on, Bug and Noir went in for the strike. They grabbed her when she was inches from my face, probably about to kiss me or something... ew. My time went out at that very moment, turning myself back into Lunaden, oh thank goodness.

"AcK," I sputtered, "That was so weird." Rubbing my face rapidly to rid it of the feeling of Lila so close as they freed the akuma, Lady purifying it and throwing her Lucky Charm into the air. She must have summoned it when I was gone, dammit, I missed all the action!

They just kept laughing at my disgusted reaction of how things turned out, Ladybug's earrings beeping made her leave though. Chat, having used his Cataclysm recently, still had some time left once we brought Lila back to the ground. The 'event' with Lila sparked a song in my head, something I had never thought of for awhile, Copycat by Billie Eilish (I don't own the lyrics!)

Don't be cautious, don't be kind You committed, I'm your crime Push my button anytime You got your finger on the trigger, but your trigger finger's mine

Silver dollar, golden flame

Dirty water, poison rain

Perfect murder, take your aim

I don't belong to anyone, but everybody knows my nameBy the way

You've been uninvited

'Cause all you say

Are all the same things I didCopycat tryna cop my manner

Watch your back when you can't watch mine

Copycat tryna cop my glamour

Why so sad, bunny? Can't have mineCall me calloused, call me cold

You're italic, I'm in bold

Call me cocky, watch your tone

You better love me 'cause you're just a cloneBy the way (by the way)

You've been uninvited

'Cause all you say (all you say)

Are all the same things I didCopycat tryna cop my manner

Watch your back when you can't watch mine

Copycat tryna cop my glamour

Why so sad, bunny? Can't have mineMine

I would hate to see you go

Hate to be the one that told you so

You just crossed the line

You've run out of time

I'm so sorry, now you know

Sorry I'm the one that told you so

Sorry, sorry

I'm sorry, sorry

PsychBy the way

You've been uninvited

'Cause all you say

Are all the same things I didCopycat tryna cop my manner

Watch your back when you can't watch mine

Copycat tryna cop my glamour

Why so sad, bunny? Can't have mine

I had whisper sung the song when I returned to the rooftops, about to go home. The song had just screamed "Lila" to me, she was a copycat, I had heard about her little escapade as the akuma 'Chameleon', copying things and making up others just to make her look good. When she was Volpina for example, to defend herself, she made copies of herself to hide in.

(I wrote almost the entire chapter before I realized I hadn't put a song in it, so I kinda hastily put this song into it, sorry how it fits into the story feels pretty forced)

***

The now autumn breeze blew through the city, swirling around me as I sat on my perch on the Eiffel Tower. Leaves were starting to change, soon they'd be flowing on the breeze, a feeling of fall was in the air. The bright colors of the leaves already changed glowed in the fading light of the setting sun, the trees popping in the darkness of dusk.

"How can you stand it so cold Lulu?" Chat asked me, a disbelieving look on his face as he shivered.

I snickered, "It's because I'm a wolf Little Cat. Wolves naturally can stand colder temperatures, significantly better than cats."

He pouted, obviously unhappy with my answer. Having fully warmed up to the idea and practice, I snuggled closer to him.

"Get used to it kitty, things will only get colder," I sighed content.

"With you, I know I'll never be left out in the cold," he said, kissing my forehead.

"That was so cheesy, not to mention you missed," I giggled.

Noir was confused, until I kissed him.

#miraculous #new moon dreams #miraculous ladybug #chat x OC #chat noir #alexia darner #lunaden

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millepara · 7 years

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idol time pripara episode 30 spoilers (well, not anymore but)

finally!! finally!! finally!! aagaghhhh this week has been so busy anyway

Michiru!! even when she’s making the inevitable Yui team be put off longer she’s still cute and perfect. I wonder if she’s ever actually going to form a unit with Shuka first though

ah, they joined the treasure hunt. and ofc Shuka is using her coupon-hungry fans to search for her... I hope she doesn’t win. I guess it might make sense for Yui to win in order to be able to beat everyone to make Michiru join her team...? hmm

Galala’s cutesy baby talk is really irritating

so we’ve established that jewels are idols’ dreams, but Yui proves that someone can have? make? more than one at once. that makes the origin of all other jewels in the show a little less dubious I guess

Galala said that when she sent Pakku to eat Michiru’s dreams, there wasn’t anything for him to eat... nooo that’s really sad, is she still like that?? I mean Miichiru is technically? a different person than Michiru? right? so it’s highly likely that Miichiru’s continent of Pu stuff doesn’t count as ‘a dream that Michiru has’, and Michiru herself still has absolutely no dream...?? nooooooo

ohhh NOOO Pakku ate the big dream that Nino used to have too... why does Galala have to ruin everything.. .

NINO FUCKING SPIKED PAKKU....... WAY TO GO NINO!!! YAY NINO, BEST AND STRONGEST GIRL

Shuka turned her dream into stone cold reality before Pakku could eat it. she’s.... too strong... and I have to say with Galala here to compare her with she’s way more tolerable

Gaaruru: “Your name is just like mine!” damn she just came right out and said it

oh!! apparently while Falala watched over Genesis Pripara in the daytime, Galala is the one who watched over it at night, when no one else was there. that explains a lot of design choices and other stuff they’ve dropped here and there about her. also why she wants everyone to go away and Falala to sleep forever.

...but not why she talks like that!! ugh

the ageage item is that GOLD MEGANII BUST....!!!! what the heck I want it

MIKAN THREW IT OUT!! NO GIVE IT TO ME

oh, Mia. oh..... doorstop........

yaaay Gaarmageddon live. also no one’s worn the ‘’’’new’’ ‘ halloween coords at all in this ep. really getting that ‘this is the last year of the current machine which is why they can’t be bothered to make a new non-recolor coord even for a holiday’ feeling

oh, Galala’s room is cool, kind of sailor moon villain meets Futuring Girl. anyway what’s that rainbow jewel furnace pit or whatever

AHHHHHHH FALALA LIVE NEXT WEEK AHHHHHHAA AHHHH H!!!!! (on.. the real halloween though lmao)

#i think this is the longest ive had to go before i could watch an ep? maybe

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empresspilaf-blog · 7 years

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these are actually hella fucking cute y’all

I’m answering all of these because as previously stated I have a real thing for filling stuff out. I like being asked questions it’s fun, keeps my brain workin’ :D

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk. And I never drink it at the end. I can’t, I’ll get sick. I can’t drink milk, and if I have cereal too often I’ll get sick. But it’s just not right if there isn’t lots of milk D’: 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? NOOOOOOOOOOO DDDDD: 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Anything? I think there’s a Mythology book around here somewhere with a peanut M&M’s wrapper in it.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I don’t put anything in tea, and I’ll drink black coffee, but sometimes I put creamer in it. If it’s available. I like peppermint mocha best yum :D

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Nope! I think it’s pretty nice, actually. It’s one ofthe few things I actually like about myself lol. I hate my body and my acne but I think my nose, eyes, and smile are decent. I had braces so my teeth are straight. I didn’t wear my top retainer though so there’s a small gap, but it doesn’t bother me. Except when I eat apples. The skin always gets stuck >:( My teeth could be whiter, and they’re small and square looking, but I think my smile is alright.

6: do you keep plants? No, but I want to. I just can’t keep up with that stuff. And my room faces a very shaded yard so sunlight really doesn’t come in.

7: do you name your plants? I totally would! 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I prefer to draw with pencil/colored pencil, charcoal, and I’m trying to use inking pens. I suck at painting lol. I did just get a tablet, though, and Autodesk Sketchbook. So that’s been fun to play with. 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Oh yeah. I would love to be able to sing really well. So far I can do a decent Marilyn Monroe impression lol. My favorite thing to sing along to is No Doubt. I love Gwen’s voice. It’s a good exercise too, all the vibrato and crazy patterns she does. I also like to sing Heart, too. My boyfriend says I sound pretty good, but I still won’t let anyone else hear me lol. Even though he’s a musician and probably knows what he’s talking about, I still don’t think it’s that great haha 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Yes.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? Hmm I can’t think of any that don’t require a long explanation lol. Well okay, how about this. I didn’t ever really drink until I turned 21 (almost exactly a year ago, January 17!), and then when we’d hag out with friends and I’d get drunk, I’d start going up to people whispering “Hey. I’ve never been drunk before” in their ear lol. Like ever time it happened (which wasn’t all that much, I’m still not a huge drinker). It got to the point that now if I drink, everyone goes “Watch out for Robyn, she’s getting drunk for the first time!”

12: what’s your favorite planet? Uranus ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Hehe uhm Jupiter, because it’s full of gas, like me? I’ve honestly never really thought about this. I think Neptune is the prettiest, and I like the idea that humans may be able to live on Mars. ~Sailor Pluto is my favorite Sailor Scout. :D

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? A mess hahahahahahahahahaaha. She has three cats and I have a dog. We both have depression, anxiety, BPD, OCD, and ADHD. (fun fact, our diagnoses are identical. We both have PTSD as well). But we love doing crafts and not cleaning our rooms, so I imagine there would be glitter, scrap fabric, pencil shavings, and wadded up paper everywhere. Among the pet hair, of course! 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! 99% of the solar system’s mass is the sun! (shit!) 16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? S P A G H E T T I

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Uhm well I’ve literally had every color lol. But right now, I’m having a lot of trouble getting red to stick to the lengths, it keeps fading to brown immediately. My hair is very damaged so it’s not too cooperative at this point :/

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. Uhm ok so I have IBS pretty bad, right? My friends and I went to Denny’s one night. We came back to one friend’s house, and I needed to fart (Sorry, this is gonna be gross lol). So as my friend Nick was coming up the stairs, I stuck my butt out and farted on his chest area. Only I didn’t fart. I pooped on him. HAHA and now everyone laughs at me because I shit on the bass player! The best part was I ran to the bathroom and I had my boyfriend get my spare undies from the car (gotta have those when you got that Irritable Bowel), and when I went back downstairs, Nick had no idea what had happened lololololol 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Nopeee 20: what’s your favorite eye color? I mean as far as what I find attractive, brown. Big brown eyes. On guys and girls. But especially guys. Girls with light eyes can still be cute but I think dark eyed men are just the best <3 That’s not to say there aren’t also some attractive men with light eyes (points to Bradley Cooper, Chris Hemsworth, Conrad Veidt, J o n a t h a n J o e s t a r). 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My smiley backpack! I just started really using it about a year ago, but I got it when I was like 3. so it’s around 19 years old. I actually just ripped one of the straps out partially last night, and I gotta sew it (thanks for the reminder!). It’s about a foot in diameter, and it’s just a giant yellow circle with a simple black smile and eyes and two straps. 22: are you a morning person? If by morning person you mean I stay up all night and am awake still when morning comes. Though I was up from Thursday evening to last night with no sleep, so I slept all last night and have been up since 6:30 this morning. 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Well since I’m pathetic and I don’t have a job and the Kent State University won’t let me have Financial Aid (due to dropping my classes last semester because of HEALTH ISSUES, wtf), every day is like that. I hate it, actually. I do nothing but sleep. I stare at my computer for hours, scroll tumblr and Facebook, get out drawing supplies and then stare at the paper and cry, lay in bed and cry, cry and cry ;u; 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? My boyfriend, Mr. Alexander Tortorella. He��s been one of my best friends since 2010, and my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. Also my two closest friends, Taylor, who I’ve been best buds with for over ten years (we even got tattoos together) and my friend Ryanne who I mentioned before (the one with all the problems like me lol). 25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? No where, I’ve never broken into anyplace. Other than my car once because I locked the keys in it lol. 26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I actually have these flat slip on clogs that have like a brown sweater fabric that I got in 2006. I wear them pretty much all fall/winter if I’m just running to the store or to someone’s house. If there’s no snow, of course lol. I also have Converse I got in 2007 that have the British flag on them, and The Who’s logo on the tongue. there’s smiley faces drawn on the rubber at the toe, and along the side banding one one of them are lyrics to “What a Catch Donnie” by Fall Out Boy.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? I love regular bubblegum’s taste but it doesn’t last long enough to bother. 28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset 29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Uhh…? My friends aren’t really “cute” people hahahahaha. I mean Taylor has called me “Bobert” for years and that’s funny lol 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yeah this one time when I was little I floated too far on a raft in Lake Erie and thought I was gonna end up in dying lol. I mean compared to other things that have happened in my life that really isn’t anything too bad, but the fear I felt at the time was so immense. 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love socks! Cool socks. I’ve got Marvel hero socks, whale socks, Star Wars socks, Sailor Moon socks, Winnie the Pooh sicks, sailboat socks, and funky pattern socks. I hate sleeping in socks though. I also have a collection of black dress socks from marching band haha 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I got naked and chased a friend down the street when I was 17. That was my one experience being drunk before I was 21 lol 33: what’s your fave pastry? Friggin Oreo Poptarts. They count. 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Little Pooh! And Big Pooh! I have a like 2 and a half foot sitting Pooh Bear and a small one. I dragged them both everywhere when I was little. I still slept with the small one until I was like 16. But it’s so worn and falling apart, I needed to switch to a larger version to cuddle lol. Now I just kinda cuddle whatever teddy bear or stuffed animal I grab haha 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yes, but I don’t really have them. I do have some super cool Norman Rockwell notecards. And I have rainbow pens I use to color coordinate notes. I’’l freaking rip a page out and re-write everything if i mess up. 36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Well I’m currently listening to “Fly” by Sugar Ray and I’d say that’s doin’ it pretty well :D 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Yeah so have you seen a tornado’s aftermath? 38: tell us about your pet peeves! People who chew their nails (Glares at Alex, even though he’s not here). Girls who talk all hood, and act dumb for attention, then get offended when you don’t take them seriously. 39: what color do you wear the most? Black lol 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I wear a ring everyday, I only take it off to shower. Alex has one too. They’re silver bands, and they have the coordinates to our high school engraved in them (that’s where we met). One has the latitude, one the longitude. Inside mine it says “Alex”, his says “Robyn”. 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? White Oleander by Janet Fitch. 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I just like Starbucks. I’m a white girl. Sue me. 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Alex 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? əʇndɯoɔ ʇou səop 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Oh, no. I overthink everything 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I can’t just do this on the spot!!! The other day a friend asked if I was going into the medical field, because I was really nursing my beer lol 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? BEANS. All beans. Fuck beans. 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Yep, spiders. 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? The last CD I bought I think was Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge by My Chemical Romance. I’ve had every word of it memorized for like 10 years, but I never actually owned a hard copy. The last record I bought was probably Houses of the Holy by Led Zeppelin. *note; as I was moving on to the next question, the song “Houses of the Holy” came on my iTunes o.O (though let it be noted as well that the song “Houses of the Holy” is actually on the album “Physical Graffiti). 50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Souls. And old empty bottles. Like empty pop bottles. Not so much anymore, but I have a ton of them in my room that I use as decoration 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Pretty much anything from Def Leppard’s Pyromania or Van Halen’s 1984 reminds me of my dad because those are his favorite albums (and 2 of mine) 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? I mean the salt guy is funny? I’ve really been slacking in the dank meme area lately. I am truly ashamed. 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I have only seen Beetlejuice of those (I knowwww), and I like it, but the heavy late 80′s asthetic creeps me out a bit. Not the stuff that’s supposed to be creepy, but all the black and white checkerboard and stripes, bright colors, and things like that lol 54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My dog, because I wouldn’t let her have her bone back (it was bed time!) 55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? We don’t need to discuss that. Once again; I have BPD. That should tell you plenty. 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Not being an asshole. That’s about it. 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I mean I do sometimes, other times I just listen and enjoy it. My friend Nick did a project for school (he’s a music production major) where he mixed the original tracks differently, and he made the bass and snare more prevalent and now the original sounds empty to me hahaha 58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? Lol what??? I mean I drink wine more than anything, but I probably drink more vodka than anyone else too lol. Most of them just smoke that reefer to be honest. Alex and I don’t, he doesn’t drink either. And I rarely drink vodka. But no one else ever does lol 59: what’s your favorite myth? The brown sound lol. The idea that there is a decibel so low that if you hear it, you’ll poop yourself! They proved it to be false on Mythbusters, though. 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I used to write poetry a lot. I actually was published in a national anthology of selected student poets in 9th grade. I have trouble being creative anymore, though. I like Thoreau and Walt Whitman. We studied them in 11th grade. 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I’ve never really given a gag gift. Though one time I wrapped a robe I got my sister in a series of boxes and duct tape just to mess with her :D I wouldn’t say I’ve ever received anything “stupid”. 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Nope. I like apple juice, though. Orange juice makes me sick. Acid reflux issues. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? OOOOHHHHHH Gotta be in alphabetical order. Though currently my books are strewn across my floor, mixed in with clothes, my Sailor Moon VHS collection, shoes, makeup, blah blah blah 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Really light grey. Ohio is bland and gross. 65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? My friend Taylor. she doesn’t live very close so I don’t ever see her anymore :’( 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? I have a few I made over the summer. My favorite is just a bunch of daisies. I love daisies <3 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Lol indifferent. That’s what today looks like, and pretty much everyday around here. 68: what’s winter like where you live? Well when I was younger, it was snowy and bright and fun. Now it barely snows, and it’s always gloomy and muddy and gross. My basement flooded a couple days ago because it rained so hard. 69: what are your favorite board games? MONOPOLYYYY. I got a Dogopoly for Christmas hehe. I like Sorry and Clue a lot too. 70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Green tea, and the youthberry/ wild orangeblosson tea from Teavanna 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yeah pretty much. And I still always tell myself I won’t forget shit, and then I do. 73: what are some of your worst habits? Smoking cigarettes, sleeping too much, drinking pop instead of water, picking my nose lol. I’m twitchy and fidgety but that’s just the OCD and ADHD. 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Uhhhhhhhhh “Big fat faggot”. (that’s actually how he would describe himself, he likes going up to people and saying “I’m REALLY gay”) 75: tell us about your pets! I have my darling baby Mae Mae, she’s around 9(??) she’a a black mutt that looks like a bear/wolf lol. I got her from the Humane Society. Then there’s Bellatrix, who my mom got from the HS. She’s a brindle boxer, almost 4 years old. We have a 7 month old kitten named Hosta. My mom found her in the hosta bushes outside this summer, so we named her after the flowers lol. We also have a guinea pig, of my sister’s, named Alfie. He’s about 2? 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? I could use a shower. 77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink <3

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I thought they were cute in Despicable Me, but it’s gotten way out of hand. 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Alex once bought me ice cream and flowers and made a sign that said “sorry for being a douche”. I don’t even remember what he did wrong, it was cute :3 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Well a few months before we moved in, I painted them purple. Then I decided that was boring like a couple weeks before we moved, and I got tihs cool 70s-looking (or even 30s really) floral wallpaper with like gold and pewter flowers and I put it on two walls. I painted the one wall orange, the tiny bit around the closet sage green, and the area around the door with chalkboard paint. Then I got mad one day about a year later and went and bought light green and covered the orange. I still don’t really know why lol. 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Dude what? I don’t stare at anyone’s eyes? 82: are/were you good in school? HAHAHAHHA. I got suspended for mooning someone. That’s all you need to know. 83: what’s some of your favorite album art? Queen’s News of the World has a sweet cover. Def Leppard’s High N’ Dry, Smashing Pumpkins’ Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, Aphex Twin’s “Windowlicker” single, of course. Green Day’s Dookie, Dio’s Holy Diver. There are aa TON but you know. I’m getting sick of typing lol 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I’m planning on getting a lot lol. Currently a Ginger Rogers close-up on my forearm. I have a Pooh sketch on my side, “You’re braver than you believe” (Pooh quote) written in my friend’s handwriting on my right shoulder, and “There’s still time to change the road you’re on” on my right foot (”Stairways to Heaven” lyrics). 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Yes, Marvel, Infinity Gauntlet is my favorite. (not including manga because I’m ready to be done with this lol) 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Yeah, they’re cool! Currently I’ve been listening to To Pimp a Butterfly a lot, actually. 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Star Wars (original 3), Back to the Future, A Clockwork Orange, Metropolis 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? A R T D E C O, art nouveau 89: are you close to your parents? My mother. I don’t talk to my father much. He was abusive to me, he’s an alcoholic. 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I don’t really have any? I don’t live cities very much. 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I’m going to North Carolina for a wedding, that’s about all I can think of. Probably going camping. 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? CHEESE ME BABY 93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Well I’m mostly just at home doing nothing so it’s just kinda down and pushed back out of my face. But when I go somewhere it’s usually something pinup-y or 2 buns on top of my head. 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Taylor’s was December 29. But mine is Tuesday! :DDD 95: what are your plans for this weekend? Alex has a show tonight, so there’s that. 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? ”Remind me tomorrow” 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Don’t know, I’ve never taken one of those tests. I’ve started to, but I can’t really answer the questions right. My answer can go either way, my mood is always changing. I don’t believe it’s easy to pin down a BPD patient’s type. I’m a Capricorn, and I’m not really into Harry Potter. My IQ is pretty high though, lol. I’m proud of that. It’s the one thing I have haha. 98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? I don’t remember, but I know I whined the entire time because I’m out of shape lol 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Uhhhh. My brain isn’t functioning at a very deep emotional level right now lol I can’t think of any? I guess “Blown Away” by Carrie Underwood, it reminds me of my father. 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Neither. I don’t want to change the way things are now. Sure, I’d love to tell myself “Don’t gain twice your body weight” and “don’t drop our of high school or college” but like, Butterfly Effect. I know somehow that would make it so I never reconnect with Alex, or I end up dating someone I wasn’t happy with, or what if somehow I got in a car wreck and died as a result of something stupid? And I don’t want to see the future. What happens happens and I don’t want to live in anticipation.

Feel free to talk to me about any of this stuff! I welcome friends, I’m lonely haha

#i did it #it's been two hours #TWO #HOURS #long ass post #oops #me #personal #someone please read this #lol #I doubt anyone will #but the sound of my keys is nice #long #read me #my life is boring

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