#like a mandela effect but with your own life lol

[softandwildx]

It is absolutely hilarious to me that my own memory of my childhood, and my mother's, can sometimes differ so wildly.

For example, I have a very vivid memory of a specific night when I was like 10 or something, I remember every detail. My mom thinks I'm insane and refuses to believe this thing actually happened. (Nothing bad, just funny.)

Alternatively, I have a brief recollection of memories from my early childhood summers spent at my great grandparent's home. My mom has confirmed that this was in fact only one summer, not many, and it must just be a significant time for me because it was a long time for a baby brain to comprehend.

She also apologizes a lot for things she did/said when I was younger that she regrets, but I have no memory of at all.

I know we all retain memories differently depending on trauma, joy, how meaningful events are, etc. But it's wild to me that two people can remember two completely different versions of the same timeline.

And like, we're kind of both right?

#anyways this is long and convoluted but i wonder if anyone else experiences this with their parents or siblings or whatever #like a mandela effect but with your own life lol

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Are you trying to find yours, and if not, where would you start?    6-30-19

I've been writing a lot about change and acceptance of change and staying grateful through it all, which I am. My real life has a tendency to not always reflect what I write in the heat of a moment, which is why I write. It's why it's necessary for me to reflect on stuff. So if you meet me in real life remember I am still a work in progress, and will probably remain that way for quite some time. lol I am absolutely at a place in my life now that allows me to get through tougher times with a bit more comfort than ever before though.That whole saying "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" is only true if you're in that place in your head and in your heart. Those struggling with depression, anxieties, addictions, etc, probably aren't getting stronger. It can absolutely keep people sick, beaten, and broken, even the strongest people. It can make people act in ugliness as well. It is a hard-won battle to get to share in the spoils of being one of the ones who really did get stronger when something didn't kill me. Others are not so lucky. Hell, some of the people don't even realize it. The capacity inside the human heart for showing love and kindness to others knows no bounds. It is as limitless as you will allow it to be. You hold your own discontent, your own resentments, your anger, and fear. By keeping a hold on any of those you are only hurting yourself, but as an added bonus it's probably displayed as being an asshole toward someone undeserving, or at least, a lesser deserving person or person(s). I came close to giving my Facebook another shot this week, but I opened it up straight onto some shit that reassured me why I need not apply. Lol I've been doing pretty well without it actually, albeit I can still jump on and share a song or picture without scrolling through and accidentally seeing any "ignorances". I'm good on that nonsense. The fact that my writings might seem to be getting redundant because they play really close to a continual repeat, has not been enough to influence me to swerve because its what I need too. I need to write it, hear it, re-read it because it's where I'm at in my life right now. Even if I've been here for quite some time it's what my head and heart need or, obviously, I wouldn't be writing it. Struggles, just like perspectives, are specifically wired to you, by you, for your benefit. A little like when you do a crossword puzzle and words like ass and sex seem to stand out almost immediately to most people? You look for the words that are on the list and you circle those. Life is the same. Circle or emphasize the things, or people, on your priority list or in your gratitude list. Retraining of the brain, of my brain, can and does take time. Rest assured that the constant reminders help me stay above all the bullshit, except for that stress and worry all parents have for the well being of their kids. That struggle is ongoing, and a hard fight, as I tell myself it's out of my hands (which most of it is, and almost all of it probably should be). If you're looking for hate/negativity then you'll find it everywhere, but if you're like me then looking for the love and the kindness of the world will become more prominent as we look for it more diligently. Plus its easier to do away with the hate and negativity of others in this way. Not easy completely but easier overall. I hope everyone has a great week ahead and awesome July 4th. Let that true freedom ring for which it truly came where our freedoms and true independence came from originally. "I like to see the sunrise, See the love in my woman's eyes Feel the touch of a precious child, And know a mother's love It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most Not where you live, what you drive or the price tag on your clothes There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind this I've come to know I thank god for my life, And for the stars and stripes May freedom forever fly, let it ring. Salute the ones who died The ones that give their lives so we don't have to sacrifice All the things we love" - Chicken Fried by the Zac Brown Band All the things we love! From my momma's house today, to yours wherever that may be, please remember to always be kind to one another. Civility should be the backup plan always. Share the love and the laughter you feel with those around you, and remember gratitude is how we keep it all. All internal and external conflicts are manageable through love and a little insight. Until next week; "One effect of sustained conflict is to narrow our vision of what is possible. Time and time again, conflicts are resolved through shifts that were unimaginable at the start." - Nelson Mandela

[kingstonjael]

“The 8 Worst Places To Meet A Guy (The Don’t Believe The Hype Edition”. I am a single woman out in these streets. I hear it all and just about seen it all. There are some places that many swear by as good places to meet men and I just have to refute some of them. Now if you want any man then any place will do but if you want quality...you may want to avoid these places when on the man hunt (I don’t believe in looking for a man but hey...I get why some women do). Before I get into this list, keep in mind that there are exceptions to every rule and your love story just may be it. 🙌🏽 Also, I think finding the right person is less about location (or else we would all be running there) and more about luck and blessings! 🙏🏽 Time to get into this Tom Foolery of a list! Here are the 8 Worst Places To Meet A Guy: 8. THE CLUB! Now I know we have all seen that article about the sista that met a prince in the club but the chances of that being your story is slim to none! I have never thought of a club as a good place to meet guys and maybe that’s why I have not outgrown club life.😍 To me, the club is a place to dance off stress and kick it with my friends. I don’t look for men there though I did meet one guy in a lounge in NC during the 2008 Democratic Convention but that was just luck. He was cute, hardworking, not crazy, and clearly not the man for me or we would be together. But that’s one positive experience out of the 8 million Lil’ (fill an ugly rapper’s name here) that I have met. And the further South you go...the more they look like they haven’t washed their asses!😐 So what can you find in the club? Most likely a shitty one night stand but less likely a prince. Lol. 😳 I wish Essence and XoNecole would stop running that damn article! I’m glad my sista met her prince in the club but let’s keep it all the way real...that’s not where quality men hang out especially as they mature. 🙌🏽 7. ONLINE! With just one click the love of your life may be available. 😩 But why didn’t someone scoop him up already? Could it be the dead bodies buried in his backyard or his fetish for eating those bodies?! 😳 Now before I go in on online dating let me say two things (1) I tried it and I don’t like it for myself and (2) I do have friends that have successfully met a good partner through it but I’m gonna warn you now...for every online love story...there are hundreds more of psycho stories! I mean men are chopping up and killing women they met online! 😭 But to back away from these extremes, I have found that people online are meeting folks with severe issues they wouldn’t normally have to deal with if they had met them in the streets. For example, folks who are catfished! Looks may not be everything but making sure that the person you are falling for is the gender you prefer is huge! 😳 Then there’s the socially awkward folks! Seems harmless at first until you are dating them! 😩 These are things you typically can pick up on right away if you meet someone in person. Yes people can lie face to face but it’s so much easier and the lie may be so much bigger when you date online! Like I always feel like the guys with no pictures up of themselves are married!!!! 😳If you do decide to go this route, meet up ASAP in a safe public place. I prefer day dates for the first date as well. 6. THE GYM! You have a great chance of meeting a very materialistic person at the gym. If you want a gym buff that brags about how many sets and reps he can do...then the gym is the place for you! 🙄 But if you want a man with a thought in his head and a bigger dick size than his arm muscles...stay away from the gym! Yes smart men go to the gym but your treadmill lustful eyes will probably miss them! The gym is a bodies in motion place. Might be suitable for hookups or one night stands (like the club) but I wouldn’t bet on long term. I actually wouldn’t even risk the hookup! It takes me forever to commit...even to a gym membership! I probably do a better job of choosing gyms than I do guys! 🙄Plus most of us are under a yearly contract so why risk it if the relationship doesn’t work out? I can hear the sound of my automatic monthly debit payments coming out of my account while saying...trick this ain’t the place for love cause you already love your gym, don’t want to have to switch gyms if things don’t work out, and if under contract your old gym (the lustful yet smart business place it is) will still get their money! 😩 5. WORK! Now I do have some couples’ friends that met through work but they are few, far, and in between! Work is really a place where a lot of affairs start! Not to mention...many Human Resources employee manuals have chapters written on sexual harassment alone! It’s just not worth your bread if the relationship does not work out! ✌🏾 Work relationships lead to more drama and less marriages! I don’t have the numbers but I feel it in my gut! Lol. 4. WHERE YOU LIVE! Now why the fuck would you want to date someone who lives in your building or next door to you?! Your home is where you are most vulnerable. You want some distance between y’all to grow and...in case the relationship does not work out! Can you imagine having a new guy over when your ex boyfriend lives next door?! 😩 3. IN ANOTHER WOMAN’S BED! Ain’t nothing good can be found if your dating pool starts their day in another woman’s bed! 🙌🏽 Not to mention...you cannot date a married man because...he’s married! 🙌🏽 Now I definitely tip toed with Phoenix during times he may have been on with his baby mama (this is wrong even in dating) but he always lived on his own, I always left him where I found him, and I never tried to claim him! I am physically and mentally attracted to him but realized that once he had a kid...there’s always going to be a woman waiting on him and it damn sure won’t be me! ✌🏾 One cannot build their happiness off of another’s misery! What’s in that woman’s bed is for her. Stay away from the husbands and try to avoid boyfriends too. Nothing good can be found in another woman’s bed! 🙌🏽 2. JAIL! Now I’m irritated I had to even put this one on the list. Free single men are datable men! Locked up ones aren’t! Of course, if you were with your man before he got locked up and want to do a bid with him (wait for him) that’s your choice. However, I am definitely not down for it unless my man got locked up for some Nelson Mandela type shit! If he wasn’t fighting for civil rights...I’m good! ✌🏾 What’s bizarre is some women purposely seek out men in jail! Folks even marrying men locked up for life with no option of parole AND men on death row! 😳🙄😩 Am I missing something? When did jail become the hot spot to find a man? Cross that shit off your list! There are a thousand and one reasons why jail is not a good place to find a good man but really the number one reason should be...he is simply not in a position to be there for you! 🙌🏽 1. CHURCH! Now the Christians are going to side eye me for this one. Church is not a good place to meet a man except if your culture/religion promotes arranged marriages. Outside of that one exception...the real pimps and hoes aren’t at the club...they in church! 😐 Now hear me out. Church is the best game running out in these streets. It mixes the online dating and club dates effect! Many men know that many women want a God fearing man so they run game right up in the church! I have visited churches where all the men are married but a few short years later they are married to younger sistas that they cheated on the first wife with...all from the same church! Leave dating in the church alone! ✌🏾 Pastors cheating. Affairs everywhere! Yes the true sin is up in the church! 😳 A man can be God fearing and not attend your church. He may have his own place of worship and that’s okay because maybe you both won’t start attending the same church until you are engaged. First and foremost, church is a place of worship! One should not go there for the sole purpose of finding a man. Yes folks do meet in church and get blessed with their union but unless you want to be changing your place of worship every year when a relationship does not work out...I suggest you not treat finding a spouse in your church lightly! Now it gets even better...hold on for this! Besides online dating, I have heard the most bizarre and unfathomable stories in the church. Some of our family friends found out huge lies that the church covered up AFTER they married the person they met there! Nobody keeps secrets like church folks when they want to marry someone off or when they want to bury something! 🙌🏽 Trust me...I know....I am Catholic! 😳Think about it...you can pick just about any scripture in the Bible and misinterpret it to justify any evil deed! 😳🙄😩😐 Lawd have mercy! ~KJM on Throwback Thursday. Be very careful out there!

#throwbackthursday #throwback #thursdaymood #thursdaymotivation #thursdaymorning #online dating #dating advice #dating #grown men #strong women #blackgirlswhoblog

[samantha-girlscout]

@captainkirk13 tagged me 

Okay, here are my 11 questions

1. Dining out or Dining in and why?

Out. I really don’t like doing dishes if I can help it lol 

2. What is your favorite character development to see?

Hands down Chrome Dokuro from Katekyo Hitman Reborn. At the beginning she was very dependent on another character to the point where she would have died without out his help. By the end she is able to stand on her own and fight. 

3. What is your fave trope (fic, tv, movie, whatever)?

Friends to lovers. I just... hit me with that slowburn okay? 

4. Do you believe in the Mandela effect? Why or why not?

I’m not sure which part your referring to? But I think it’s very possible for a whole group of people to remember something that didn’t happen. Many successful leaders use this tactic to maintain support or dominance over their people. Also I wouldn’t be surprised if there were parallel universes. 

5. What superhero would you want to be and why?

None of them really. 

6. What is your favorite scent?

Humid air at night. It reminds me heavily of memories I’ve made in Texas throughout my life. 

7. Do you have any nervous ticks?

Sorry, passing this one. 

8. What do you like most about yourself?

I like that, when I’m focused, I can write a lot all at once. 

9. If you could be pen pals with any one person in all of history who would you choose?

Probably someone adventurous. No one specific person comes to mind though... 

10.  Phone on silent or ringtone at full volume?

silent

11. If you were given the power to change your past BUT only five minutes total, what would you change if anything?

I would get into a different car at the age of 14. 

#tagged #that got deep holy crap #anyways not tagging anyone 'cause I've done this one before #I would have tagged you last time but it wouldn't let me! #T.T