#like a hundred balloons (only 66 people)
Note
Hey, I have a sprite edit of Mobster Kingpin (From MSPA) but he looks really fluffy, thank you.
-Bizcuit
not exactly a look compatible with fluffy. also looking at this sprite upsets me /lh
-mod davesprit
#mod davesprite#problem sleuth#mobster kingpin#uhhh okay so!! crush got there#still like 15 minutes early WHY is my space bar flashing when i hit it#aaanyway#we took some pictures together#the items at prom consisted of#mysterious cake sitting on a table. it was half eaten. there were no plates or forks in the entire room#like a hundred balloons (only 66 people)#snack table only me and some friends noticed#photo booth but the photography teacher just dipped so we had to learn how to use the camera alone#also there was no printer so we are never getting those pictures back#and music chosen by the guidance counselor#so we dicked around for like an hour#it was lame though so one of my friends suggested we go do like. anything else#now the prom venue was right next to the movie theater#and dr strange was showing in like 15 minutes#so we straight up left#bestie and their gf got some very strong edibles first though#apparently no one was supervising well enough to notice the girl running the speakers giving away weed brownies#so anyway. we went to movie :>#movie sucked and i fell asleep like an hour in#woke up at the very end and everyone DIPPED#like didnt even say goodbye but to be fair it wasnt a good movie#so anyway me n crush sat through the credits#and i asked if i could call them my girlfriend#and they said yes !!!! and they asked if they could call me their datefriend (i said yes of course)#we went back to the prom place to wait for their ride home#n they asked if they could kiss me n i said yes :>>>>>>>>>
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Two Hundred Fifty Things an Architect Should Know
by Michael Sorkin
1. The feel of cool marble under bare feet.
2. How to live in a small room with five strangers for six months.
3. With the same strangers in a lifeboat for one week.
4. The modulus of rupture.
5. The distance a shout carries in the city.
6. The distance of a whisper.
7. Everything possible about Hatshepsut’s temple (try not to see it as ‘modernist’ avant la lettre).
The Temple of Hatshepsut
8. The number of people with rent subsidies in New York City.
9. In your town (include the rich).
10. The flowering season for azaleas.
11. The insulating properties of glass.
12. The history of its production and use.
13. And of its meaning.
14. How to lay bricks.
15. What Victor Hugo really meant by ‘this will kill that.’
16. The rate at which the seas are rising.
17. Building information modeling (BIM).
18. How to unclog a Rapidograph.
19. The Gini coefficient.
20. A comfortable tread-to-riser ratio for a six-year-old.
21. In a wheelchair.
22. The energy embodied in aluminum.
23. How to turn a corner.
24. How to design a corner.
25. How to sit in a corner.
26. How Antoni Gaudí modeled the Sagrada Família and calculated its structure.
27. The proportioning system for the Villa Rotonda.
28. The rate at which that carpet you specified off-gasses.
29. The relevant sections of the Code of Hammurabi.
30. The migratory patterns of warblers and other seasonal travellers.
31. The basics of mud construction.
32. The direction of prevailing winds.
33. Hydrology is destiny.
34. Jane Jacobs in and out.
35. Something about feng shui.
36. Something about Vastu Shilpa.
37. Elementary ergonomics.
38. The color wheel.
39. What the client wants.
40. What the client thinks it wants.
41. What the client needs.
42. What the client can afford.
43. What the planet can afford.
44. The theoretical bases for modernity and a great deal about its factions and inflections.
45. What post-Fordism means for the mode of production of building.
46. Another language.
47. What the brick really wants.
48. The difference between Winchester Cathedral and a bicycle shed.
49. What went wrong in Fatehpur Sikri.
50. What went wrong in Pruitt-Igoe.
51. What went wrong with the Tacoma Narrows Bridge.
52. Where the CCTV cameras are.
53. Why Mies really left Germany.
54. How people lived in Çatal Hüyük.
55. The structural properties of tufa.
56. How to calculate the dimensions of brise-soleil.
57. The kilowatt costs of photovoltaic cells.
58. Vitruvius.
59. Walter Benjamin.
60. Marshall Berman.
61. The secrets of the success of Robert Moses.
62. How the dome on the Duomo in Florence was built.
Duomo in Florence
63. The reciprocal influences of Chinese and Japanese building.
64. The cycle of the Ise Shrine.
65. Entasis.
66. The history of Soweto.
67. What it’s like to walk down the Ramblas.
68. Back-up.
69. The proper proportions of a gin martini.
70. Shear and moment.
71. Shakespeare, et cetera.
72. How the crow flies.
73. The difference between a ghetto and a neighborhood.
74. How the pyramids were built.
75. Why.
76. The pleasures of the suburbs.
77. The horrors.
78. The quality of light passing through ice.
79. The meaninglessness of borders.
80. The reasons for their tenacity.
81. The creativity of the ecotone.
82. The need for freaks.
83. Accidents must happen.
84. It is possible to begin designing anywhere.
85. The smell of concrete after rain.
86. The angle of the sun at the equinox.
87. How to ride a bicycle.
88. The depth of the aquifer beneath you.
89. The slope of a handicapped ramp.
90. The wages of construction workers.
91. Perspective by hand.
92. Sentence structure.
93. The pleasure of a spritz at sunset at a table by the Grand Canal.
94. The thrill of the ride.
95. Where materials come from.
96. How to get lost.
97. The pattern of artificial light at night, seen from space.
98. What human differences are defensible in practice.
99. Creation is a patient search.
100. The debate between Otto Wagner and Camillo Sitte.
101. The reasons for the split between architecture and engineering.
102. Many ideas about what constitutes utopia.
103. The social and formal organization of the villages of the Dogon.
104. Brutalism, Bowellism, and the Baroque.
105. How to dérive.
106. Woodshop safety.
107. A great deal about the Gothic.
108. The architectural impact of colonialism on the cities of North Africa.
109. A distaste for imperialism.
110. The history of Beijing.
Beijing Skyline
111. Dutch domestic architecture in the 17th century.
112. Aristotle’s Politics.
113. His Poetics.
114. The basics of wattle and daub.
115. The origins of the balloon frame.
116. The rate at which copper acquires its patina.
117. The levels of particulates in the air of Tianjin.
118. The capacity of white pine trees to sequester carbon.
119. Where else to sink it.
120. The fire code.
121. The seismic code.
122. The health code.
123. The Romantics, throughout the arts and philosophy.
124. How to listen closely.
125. That there is a big danger in working in a single medium. The logjam you don’t even know you’re stuck in will be broken by a shift in representation.
126. The exquisite corpse.
127. Scissors, stone, paper.
128. Good Bordeaux.
129. Good beer.
130. How to escape a maze.
131. QWERTY.
132. Fear.
133. Finding your way around Prague, Fez, Shanghai, Johannesburg, Kyoto, Rio, Mexico, Solo, Benares, Bangkok, Leningrad, Isfahan.
134. The proper way to behave with interns.
135. Maya, Revit, Catia, whatever.
136. The history of big machines, including those that can fly.
137. How to calculate ecological footprints.
138. Three good lunch spots within walking distance.
139. The value of human life.
140. Who pays.
141. Who profits.
142. The Venturi effect.
143. How people pee.
144. What to refuse to do, even for the money.
145. The fine print in the contract.
146. A smattering of naval architecture.
147. The idea of too far.
148. The idea of too close.
149. Burial practices in a wide range of cultures.
150. The density needed to support a pharmacy.
151. The density needed to support a subway.
152. The effect of the design of your city on food miles for fresh produce.
153. Lewis Mumford and Patrick Geddes.
154. Capability Brown, André Le Nôtre, Frederick Law Olmsted, Muso Soseki, Ji Cheng, and Roberto Burle Marx.
155. Constructivism, in and out.
156. Sinan.
157. Squatter settlements via visits and conversations with residents.
158. The history and techniques of architectural representation across cultures.
159. Several other artistic media.
160. A bit of chemistry and physics.
161. Geodesics.
162. Geodetics.
163. Geomorphology.
164. Geography.
165. The Law of the Andes.
166. Cappadocia first-hand.
Cappadocia
167. The importance of the Amazon.
168. How to patch leaks.
169. What makes you happy.
170. The components of a comfortable environment for sleep.
171. The view from the Acropolis.
172. The way to Santa Fe.
173. The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World.
174. Where to eat in Brooklyn.
175. Half as much as a London cabbie.
176. The Nolli Plan.
177. The Cerdà Plan.
178. The Haussmann Plan.
179. Slope analysis.
180. Darkroom procedures and Photoshop.
181. Dawn breaking after a bender.
182. Styles of genealogy and taxonomy.
183. Betty Friedan.
184. Guy Debord.
185. Ant Farm.
186. Archigram.
187. Club Med.
188. Crepuscule in Dharamshala.
189. Solid geometry.
190. Strengths of materials (if only intuitively).
191. Ha Long Bay.
192. What’s been accomplished in Medellín.
193. In Rio.
194. In Calcutta.
195. In Curitiba.
196. In Mumbai.
197. Who practices? (It is your duty to secure this space for all who want to.)
198. Why you think architecture does any good.
199. The depreciation cycle.
200. What rusts.
201. Good model-making techniques in wood and cardboard.
202. How to play a musical instrument.
203. Which way the wind blows.
204. The acoustical properties of trees and shrubs.
205. How to guard a house from floods.
206. The connection between the Suprematists and Zaha.
207. The connection between Oscar Niemeyer and Zaha.
208. Where north (or south) is.
209. How to give directions, efficiently and courteously.
210. Stadtluft macht frei.
211. Underneath the pavement the beach.
212. Underneath the beach the pavement.
213. The germ theory of disease.
214. The importance of vitamin D.
215. How close is too close.
216. The capacity of a bioswale to recharge the aquifer.
217. The draught of ferries.
218. Bicycle safety and etiquette.
219. The difference between gabions and riprap.
220. The acoustic performance of Boston Symphony Hall.
Boston Symphony Hall
221. How to open the window.
222. The diameter of the earth.
223. The number of gallons of water used in a shower.
224. The distance at which you can recognize faces.
225. How and when to bribe public officials (for the greater good).
226. Concrete finishes.
227. Brick bonds.
228. The Housing Question by Friedrich Engels.
229. The prismatic charms of Greek island towns.
230. The energy potential of the wind.
231. The cooling potential of the wind, including the use of chimneys and the stack effect.
232. Paestum.
233. Straw-bale building technology.
234. Rachel Carson.
235. Freud.
236. The excellence of Michel de Klerk.
237. Of Alvar Aalto.
238. Of Lina Bo Bardi.
239. The non-pharmacological components of a good club.
240. Mesa Verde National Park.
241. Chichen Itza.
242. Your neighbors.
243. The dimensions and proper orientation of sports fields.
244. The remediation capacity of wetlands.
245. The capacity of wetlands to attenuate storm surges.
246. How to cut a truly elegant section.
247. The depths of desire.
248. The heights of folly.
249. Low tide.
250. The Golden and other ratios.
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Hidden Hazbin Sins
NOT FOR KIDS! NO COPYRIGHT INTENDED.
For many of the residents in Hell, it was an average day of chaos, murder, sex, drugs, and drama. Poverty-stricken demons smuggled food from dumpsters while others snuck into darkened stores. More disturbingly, other demons even resorted to cannibalism on unlucky citizens who had been killed in gang fights, run over, or stabbed to death by Exterminator harpoons.
The Happy (Hazbin) Hotel seemed to be running fairly smoothly with the addition of the clean-freak cyclops demon Niffty and even the indifferent gambling alcoholic Husk. Charlie, the blond-haired demon princess, stood outside wearing a red bellhop uniform complete with gold buttons, gold threads hanging around the brim of her small red hat and a ruby apple necklace around her neck. Her face was white, eyes yellow, and red blushes were off to the sides of her face. She remembered a week ago when the hotel first opened, cutting a tied up red piece of ribbon with a large pair of scissors, the crowd clapping half-heartedly. Currently, she was holding the door for a line of demons waiting to get in.
“Welcome to the Happy Hotel!” said the princess cheerfully. Razzle and Dazzle were busy lifting up luggage and placing them on a rolling cart to go up into the elevator. Though many of the demons rolled their eyes and snarled at Charlie, she kept up her positive demeanor.
Inside, a banner hung over a front desk with several colorful balloons and streamers off to the sides.
“No more sin, share a big grin!” Charlie recited her motto. “Vaggie will check you in and get you situated at the front desk.”
She mentioned to her moth demon friend, who saw her and blushed with a small smile, blowing her a quick kiss. Vaggie turned to a light blue dragon in the front.
“I have a reservation for a room with a balcony,” the dragon said, his wings folded. He showed her his cell phone in his claw which showed the order he had made online.
Vaggie looked it over and nodded. “Two nights here, room 666, with a cost of…”
Charlie looked over at Vaggie. “They don’t have to pay any souls. This place is free for the first one hundred customers!”
“What?!” Vaggie exclaimed in disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”
“Because I just came up with it today,” she explained. “If we are to encourage demons to come here to get better, why not make it free for them?”
“Your Dad won’t be happy about that.”
“I know. But it’s my hotel, and I might as well leave a friendly impression.”
“Move it, bitch,” scoffed a green snake-like demon with a pink dress and dark green hair who shoved Charlie aside with her hand. Charlie’s eyes glowed red for a second, but she took a deep breath. Vaggie pointed her harpoon weapon at the snake lady and glared. Heeding her warning, the snake huffed, flipped back her straggly green hair and moved on to her room.
Charlie shrugged, as she continued to hold the door. “It’s a start, right?”
Vaggie sighed and continued with her next customer, a werewolf. “Room 66 is currently occupied. 63 is available if you’d like to stay on that floor.”
Dazzle flew into the room, lifted down one of many old fashioned blood-stained key and placed it on the desk.
Vaggie handed the key to the brown furry demon. “The bar is over down the hall to your left. Charlie’s Fun and Games event will start at 7:00pm in the dance room. Ring your room bell and Niffty will fetch you breakfast in the morning. If you have any questions, just ask me or Charlie.”
“I have a question,” said a familiar sounding voice as the werewolf left for his room. The white spider demon Angel Dust strutted up to the desk, with his usual white and pink striped outfit on and pink gloves on four of his hands.
“One second,” Vaggie said. She turned to him. “What, Angel?” Vaggie deadpanned.
“Do you know where the drug vending machine is here? I want some Angel Dust and I’m getting tired of those purple popsies to be honest.”
“What’s in a name!” someone commented from in the line.
Vaggie crossed her arms. “No drugs are allowed here. It’s problematic enough that alcohol is being served here. We don’t need any more of your ideas. I’m busy here!”
Angel continued, “What we also need is a stage with new poles for dancing on. Italian electro music, and a secret strip club in the basement! Man, that’d be the shit!”
A black dinosaur-like demon growled at Angel. “Go fuck yourself, slut.”
Angel just grinned widely. “Only if you watch me, hot stuff.”
“Get out!” Vaggie bellowed, pointing toward the door.
“Oh well,” Angel shrugged. “Time to make some moves on Husk. It’s so easy to warm up to him when he’s drunk…”
Angel happily scurried away while Vaggie face-palmed. “Someone kill me a second time,” she muttered out loud.
“Can I do it?” asked the snake demon, who peered out of her room.
“No!” Charlie and Vaggie yelled at the same time, startling the snake who ducked back into her room. Charlie and Vaggie laughed from across the room. Almost losing hold of the door, Charlie grabbed onto the handle again, smiling back at the visitors.
Later on that evening, the bar was packed full of demons scattered around in every direction. A group of dragons were sitting together, enjoying flaming spirits of liquor that Husk had brought to them. A family of red imps were playing cards over by a booth. Only a group of doll demons seemed to enjoy the rainbow decorated karaoke section that Charlie had set up. They sang at the top of their lungs and danced in a circle.
“See? They’re getting it!” Charlie smiled, sitting next to Vaggie. Vaggie let out a small smile. “Well, I’m impressed, Charlie. Maybe your idea will be successful in the long run.”
Charlie brushed Vaggie’s long white hair from her light gray face, careful not to touch the pink X over her friend’s eye. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
Angel Dust giggled under his breath nearby and began to do a slutty dance on a table.
“Anyone have a lampshade I could use?”
A random one hit him in the face. “Thanks, dick!” he called putting it over his head.
“Wow, he remembered my name,” smiled a blushing Dick, an orange-faced demon with an elongated forehead shaped like…
“Will you cut that out?” Husk hissed as he glanced at Angel shaking his butt as the demons laughed and jeered.
“You like that?” he asked, hearing Husk’s voice. “I figured you would, deep down.”
“Son of a crackhead,” Husk muttered.
“Heard that, cat in the hat! Sadly, it’s true, though.”
The two girlfriends relaxed as the demons chatted (and fought) among themselves. Husk drank more booze behind the counter in several gulps. Niffty scurried to dust off cobwebs, mop the floors, and carry any remaining luggage to the room or outside.
Charlie stared at the nearby stage, the microphone vacant.
“Say…has anyone seen Alastor?”
“Nope, not me,” replied Angel, still dancing with the lampshade on his head. “Then again, I can’t see much of anything.”
“Take that damn thing off!” said Vaggie. “It’s unprofessional!”
“Sorry, tots, can’t hear you over the sound of how sexy I am!” he replied.
“Not me,” Vaggie said.
“Nor me,” said Husk. “Thank Lucifer. That radio punk was getting on my last nerves. Glad I don’t have to hear any more dad jokes tonight.”
“But he always comes on Fridays and the weekend,” Charlie says. “And it’s a new moon on Earth, I think. He always comes up with new tricks to share with us during that time.”
“When’d you get into that stuff?” Husk asked.
“Human studies,” Charlie replied. “Oh what it could mean to be a human for the first time…”
“It’s a shithole if you ask me,” Husk replied. “Lost chances, war, depression, the whole nine yards.”
“Or life can be good,” said Vaggie, “Until, you get…assaulted by a bunch of masculine pigs.”
An old pig demon oinked at her in anger and slurped up a mud smoothie.
“Heh, no offence?”
“It’s alright, Vaggie,” said Charlie. “Perhaps when we go to Heaven, we’ll learn more about all kinds of people.”
“I can’t hear you,” Vaggie mentioned.
Charlie snapped her fingers and the noise in the bar dulled own to a fading hum. The spell would last for several minutes. For now, it was just Vaggie and Charlie talking in the crowded room, no one else noticing.
“You’re the daughter of the devil and a seducing being,” Vaggie pointed out. “You may not ever get redeemed.”
“But how do we know?” Charlie asked. “Think about it. My dad got sent down from Heaven for going to the dark side. There has to be a way for demons to rise up from Hell! There’s like two sides of a large coin.”
“You’re forgetting Earth and tons of other places,” Vaggie said. “Even if that would be the case, how good would we have to be to get sent to Heaven or even back to Earth?”
“Perhaps by showing more…humanity.” Charlie said, wistfully.
“Ugh, not this again.” Vaggie leaned closer and spoke in a low voice. “Look. I’m willing to be open minded about the possibility of Heaven existing. It’s something I learned about in my life, after all. But to think these demons have some connection to humans…”
Charlie cut her off, lowing her hands sideways slightly in a downward motion to make her point. “They not only used to be souls…they are still souls! Deep down, as long as they’re somewhat alive, they retain some amount of their human characteristics from their past lives!”
“Not fuckin’ buying it.”
“Vaggie, it only makes sense. I’ve seen it for myself when my family showed me the Purge. They briefly showed their human forms before they were killed. This proves that they aren’t true monsters. They need help. They need love, just like everyone else. Dad and Mom don’t want to believe it, but…I have a feeling they also know it to be true.”
Charlie continued, changing the topic into something more light-hearted. “Perhaps Heaven has animal-like bipedal creatures as well, but nicer and fluffier! Maybe with angel wings. Humans and animals are everywhere, within many angels and demons!”
Vaggie held on firmly to Charlie’s shoulders, and stared her straight in the eye, raising her voice slightly more toward a normal tone. “Charlie, listen to me. I, too, have…seen things. Earth, Heaven, Hell…they’re all different. From what I heard, angels belong in Heaven and demons belong in Hell. The evil humans come down here, already dead. Living humans belong on Earth. That’s just the way it works.”
Something in Vaggie’s eyes told Charlie that her friend wasn’t entirely convinced of her own spoken words.
“Swear on your afterlife…for your own safety and sanity, you will not tell anyone else about this.”
Charlie looked around, eyes wide. “Do you think…some demons will want to take advantage of me and…my position as heir?”
“Finally out of your childhood comfort zone,” Vaggie mentioned with a solemn nod. “Please, Charlie. I will do whatever I can to help you redeem these sinners. But, promise me, you will be smart and always watch your back. You can’t trust everyone.” Vaggie stared at her scarred chest and put a hand up to her eye. “I learned that lesson the hard way.”
Charlie’s soundproof spell had ended, and the noise of the bar came back in full force.
“Ya girls done?” Angel asked, white hair frazzled from dancing and wearing the lampshade.
“Yep,” said Charlie. “Anything you need?”
“Other than a whiff of coke and a thrill of a fight, I’m good.” He picked up a cherry from a drink and sucked on it.
“Time to go see Cherri Bomb. She’s making actual cherry bombs for our next turf attack! Catch you guys later!” He winked and swaggered out of the room.
“Why did you bring him here, again?” Vaggie asked with a sigh.
Charlie answered. “He was clean for two weeks, and now…well, I’m going to give him another chance. It’s the only thing to do.”
“Whatever you say,” Vaggie answered. She held on gently to Charlie’s hand and the princess squeezed back affectionately.
“But seriously, though…where is Alastor?” Charlie asked, more to herself, looking back at the stage. “He was a big help to starting the hotel and it was fun dancing with him.”
“I swear I’ll gut him if he ever makes a move on you again,” Vaggie seethed. “Let’s forget about that cocky bastard and enjoy ourselves.”
“Sounds like a good plan to me,” Charlie smiled. “But I have faith that he’ll change for the better. You’ll see.”
The red neon Pentagram symbol in the sky was the only thing that lit up the time that was considered night time. Though the sky was constantly red, the demons still kept track of time in their afterlives, despite the fact that such a concept may not exist outside of Earth. The one thing that died harder than any sinner was old human habits.
Two small imp-like demons by the names of Tee and Vee wondered around in the shadows, Tee holding a small black cell phone. Tee was short, fat and dark purple in color, while Vee was thin and red. Both had horns, clawed feet and hands as well as small pointed tails. Both were wearing black suits with blue Wi-Fi logos on them. They were mini mercenaries and spies hired by none other than Vox, the TV demon. On this night, they were sent on another one of their missions.
They spoke in New York accents or perhaps Australian accents. It was hard to tell because they talked so fast.
“Another night, another dollar,” Tee said. He reached for a small arrow and threw it at an unsuspecting ogre. The beast roared as the arrow exploded against his foot. The ogre fell to the ground and Tee jumped up toward his face. In one swift motion, mid jump, he got out a spear from his utility belt and stabbed it right though the ogre’s large yellow right eye. Vee stepped in to finish the job, finally ending the monster’s agonized yells.
The duo had their gruesome eye kabab snack on a spear as they walked along.
“Need at least 66 kills tonight,” said Tee. “That should be doable.”
“But remember what Vox really wants,” Vee reminded him. “A chance to overthrow his rival overlords. Just think, we’ll be internet stars after we help Vox conjure Hell!”
Tee elbowed him sharply. “He will get all the credit, jackass, not us. We’re just doing this ‘cause we have no choice.”
“Oh, don’t be so glum, bum,” Vee said. “Though yours is quite big.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You heard me. Anyway, we’ll still be recognized in some form. Perhaps he’ll be especially pleased with us and beckon us over to his bedroom…”
Tee shook his head, clenching his purple fists. “All Vox does is take selfies with Velvet and talk dirty to Valentino on the phone. He gets the good life, while we’re out here doing his dirty work.”
“Makes it easier on him,” Vee said. “He’s busy making plans, after all. You know about the New World Order? Project Mech Tech? Several secret plans of his involving keeping everyone glued to their screens. Brainwashing, propaganda, convincing ads. It’s already just as powerful as it is in the human world. ‘Xept down here, Vox can bend others to his will.”
“Like…us?”
“Those who are either sheep or foolhardy enough to stand up to him.”
“But they’re demons, not sheep.”
“Tee, you retarded, ass!” He punched his college in the face and the two demons rolled down the street in a snowball spiraling brawl.
They yelled and grabbed onto each other’s tails, biting and screeching insults.
“Tee, pee!”
“Bum, scum!”
“Gas ass!”
“Slut, mutt!”
Nearby, a smoking female hellhound barked in disapproval.
“Butt…what?”
Vee stopped and stared straight ahead.
“Coward, what’s your pro…” Tee began, before noticing the direction the orange demon was looking toward.
“…blem?”
They stood up and saw a long black alleyway in front of them. The ground was littered with broken glass, cigarette butts, and the occasional skull here and there. Graffiti was spray-painted on the brick walls in various colors of red, blue, yellow, and green. They were mostly expletive words, nude women, and crying demon stick figures surrounded by flames. Further up above, someone had spray painted a rainbow with sun rays coming out from it. A foul scent of garbage and rotten flesh permeated the space.
Vee peered into the darkness and heard the faint sound of footsteps and humming. A distinct feel of…electricity? ... hiding among the shadows.
Tee shuddered, holding up his clawed hands. “No, no, no, no, I ain’t goin’ in there.”
“I sense a powerful presence,” Vee stated. “If we don’t take a risk, who will? Besides, if we don’t show up with some special report this time, Vox will have our heads.”
“He…wouldn’t…right?”
Vee grabbed onto Tee’s plump arm. “Just come on!”
“Okay…whoa, slow down,” he called as he was dragged along.
They slowed their pace as they reached the cracked dead end. The path turned off to the left, ending in another wider dead end further away. The walls were on either side of both paths with no windows or doors. Well…save for an old wooden door that was behind a pair of old curtains made from circus tent flaps.
A silhouette of a demon stood in front of the door, drawing a pentagram symbol in the air. A little golden keyhole appeared to the right and a matching old-fashioned key was pulled out from a pocket. The key went in and the door opened with a slow creek.
“Let’s go,” Vee whispered. They followed the figure not too far behind from the door.
They continued walking, occasionally glancing up at the red sky above them. The eerie silence was soon replaced with humming from the demon in front of them. It sounded distinctly male and appeared to be a jolly tune. Vee couldn’t quite name the song the man was singing, but it made him feel strangely at ease. It reminded him of those songs he heard at the circus or at musicals he attended with his parents. Not that it mattered now, since his parents were dead due to the so called “angels.” Tee on the other hand, was quivering, his legs itching to race right out of there.
“Come on, man,” Tee whispered. “Let’s kill this demon and leave.”
Vee let out a silent gasp and tapped Tee on the shoulder. “Look.”
They both stopped as the figure’s footsteps ceased further ahead.
For a moment, all was dark and quiet.
A snap of fingers was heard and five white candles were lit up at the same time. They were at the end of the alleyway, this time surrounded by circular concrete walls. The man was standing in the center of a crimson pentagram surrounded by a red circle that was drawn on the ground, taking up most of the space. The white candles glowed with yellow light at the ends of the five points.
“Whoa, is that who I think it is?” whispered Tee, so low that he could barely be heard. He held up his phone and started to record.
The figure was revealed in the candlelight: a slender man wearing a tattered pinstriped red dress coat, trailing along slightly behind him. Dark shoes with red deer hoof-prints on the bottom soles. Red and black fur upon his head with large furry deer-like ears with black tips. Small dark antlers sticking out from between his ears. Thin neck and slander arms and legs. A vintage microphone staff stood in his right hand.
“Yes,” Vee said in a hushed tone. “The Radio Demon.”
Alastor walked over to a large deer skull stained with blood, antlers still intact. The trophy was attached to the wall via an old wooden plaque. He walked over and slowly knocked on the bone forehead seven times. It was a “shave and a haircut” sounding knock.
The Radio Demon stepped back as the skull’s slanted eyes glowed red. A scroll dropped out from its mouth but with a wave of his hand, it vanished. A spiral symbol in the center of the pentagram lit up: a universal symbol for a portal. The demon hummed some more.
With Tee still recording, Vee excitedly reached for his phone. He had to alert Vox. At last, the duo would be getting their big break…and a hefty sum of souls for their night’s work.
He began to rapidly text, his phone set to silent, the brightness of the screen turned as low as possible:
Vee: “Lord Vox, it’s V, T of 19:29. Radio Demon’s hideout found. Located at west end of…”
“A-CHOO!”
Tee sneezed out loud into his arm, phone in his other hand. The Radio Demon’s ears twitched at the noise. The humming stopped. The candles went out.
Tee and Vee rammed their backs against the nearest wall, not daring to move or even breathe. They heard the shuffling of feet, and the subtle sound of the microphone staff moving slightly side to side.
For an entire minute, nobody made a sound. Vee turned to Tee and both of them moved their eyes toward the other direction. Vee held up three fingers then mimicked tiptoeing side-ways. Getting the message, Tee followed Vee, shuffling three quiet steps to the right. After ten seconds, they moved again. Tee still recorded with a shaky hand in the dark, while Vee was careful not to drop his phone.
Vee pointed toward the exit and Tee nodded. Vee began to tip-toe from the wall, inch by inch making his way toward the open wooden door.
A slow creaking sound made then briefly freeze. For some reason, the door wasn’t moving.
A chilling sensation crept to the backs of the demon’s necks. Both of them turned back to look through the darkness.
But the only lights they saw in the distance were the glowing red radio dials in the Radio Demon’s two eyes. The creaking sound was, in fact, the demon’s head slowly turning backward to stare right at the terrified faces of Tee and Vee.
SLAM!
The wooden door whammed shut, causing Tee and Vee to jump and yelp.
The world turned into a psychedelic mess of vibrant colors. Reds, blues, and greens morphed together in the sky and along the walls. Shadows of deer heads dripping blood danced along a red-lit wall like shadow puppets.
“Open the door!” Vee cried, punching against the wood, which was now colored a strange yellow.
“There’s no handle!” Tee replied, kicking at it in vain.
“Ack! I’m blue!” said Vee, staring at his light blue body in the strange light.
“I think you’re seeing red!” Tee replied, failing to notice his fat crimson body.
Vee grabbed daggers and bomb arrows and threw them rapidly in front of him. The Radio Demon dodged them all and merged into the shadowy ground.
“He’s…gone?” Tee asked, looking through his phone camera.
Vee held on tight his phone and glanced back at the texts, finger hovering over the “send” button.
The red dial-eyes emerged right in front of their faces, rows of sharp yellow teeth appearing below. Though the sudden loud radio static that filled their ears, Tee and Vee screamed. A voodoo spirit shaped like a black lizard with white eyes snatched the phone from Vee’s hand, dropping it by Alastor’s left foot before scurrying off. He brought down his pointed shoe and crushed the device to pieces, sparks flying, screen cracked. The remainder of the pieces burst into flames and vanished.
Before Vee could blink, two black tentacles sprouted rapidly from holes in the ground and latched themselves onto the demon’s arms, pinning them back. He struggled to escape, but they were wrapped too tightly.
Tee was running as fast as his little legs could carry him, the camera phone shaking with every step. He put the phone in his pocket, ran up to the wall, jumped, and grabbed onto a small branch sticking out from a hole in the worn down concrete. Knowing the branch could break at any moment, he frantically searched around for another handhold.
A-ha!
Up off slightly to the right, was a crack large enough for him to dig his claws into. Tee took a deep breath, preparing himself. If he could push off with his legs, swing toward the crack, get ready to let go…
The branch snapped off as he was forcibly brought down with a hard tug coming from near his legs. He phone fell out of his pocket, landing sideways on the ground. The camera showed two more black tentacles wrapping around Tee’s stubby legs, dragging him toward Alastor as he screamed. Even digging into the ground with his claws did no good.
Another tentacle gently lifted up the phone and brought it back as well.
Alastor cocked his head to the side, his mouth in an ever-present smile. Vee was lifted up to Alastor’s level and held close to the wall.
Vee laughed nervously. “Oh, hey, Alastor. Heh heh. Great seeing you this f-fine night. I-I wasn’t gonna do anything, I swear.”
The reply was a dark chuckle mixed with static.
Vee felt Alastor’s four-fingered hands grip his head.
“I…I won’t say anything! Way too young to die again. Please…”
Vee’s head crashed against the wall with a loud thud. He let out a high pitched scream.
“Owww! No! Tee, get outta…AUUUGH!”
Vee gagged as his skull cracked against the concrete. Bile filled the demon’s mouth and dark red stained the wall. He gasped for air, black spots across his vision. After his head was slammed against the wall a third time, Vee’s eyes rolled back and his thin body limped downward, relaxed. Shards of skull and bits of brain spilled to the ground. Alastor reached down toward the utility belt, and pulled out a dagger. He severed the demon’s head, clean off. The lifeless head fell to the ground, rolling until stopping near a restrained Tee.
Tee reeled back as far as he could, yelling through a tendril that was covering his mouth. Alastor smiled down at him, red dials moving, antlers expanding from his head. He held out his palm and flames appeared along with faint symbols hovering around them.
For several minutes, all Tee knew was a searing hot pain consuming his body, the smell of smoke, and the reeking smell of burning flesh around them. He inhaled the smoke and heard the radio static buzzing in his ears. All Tee could do was close his eyes and wait out the agony. Hoping that the heat and noise would soon…
Fade away…
Slipping into…black…
…constant…
…peace.
With that, the Radio Demon tossed the phone into the flames, the camera and screen revealing his demonic face before the device exploded into electric sparks.
The colors returned to normal and the flames went out. The only sound was the sound of static, slowly fading back into the vintage microphone. His eyes returned to their normal full red color and his antlers shrunk until they were small sticks on his head once again.
He snapped his fingers and the white candles lit up again. The skull’s eyes glowed red.
Clearing his throat, Alastor spoke the password in the Creole language:
“Ou pa janm konplètman abiye
San yon souri!”
(You’re never fully dressed without a smile)
The eyes glowed green and the ground below him vanished. Flames rose from the circle surrounding the pentagram. The inner circle was now a portal to a “basement” of Hell.
Several shadowy spirits rushed out of the hole, ecstatic to be free and to roam wild. Though the ground had disappeared below him, he stood perfectly still where he was.
More tendrils rose from the ground and wove together to form stairs starting at the top near Alastor’s feet. He walked merrily down as the portal slowly closed.
He reached the bottom of the stairs and made his way forward.
“My cozy lair, how much I’ve missed you.”
The lair was a sort of mashup between a haunted house and a middle class home from the early 1920’s.
Black walls stood on either side, blending in so well, it looked like the black ether outside. Red metal columns lined the sides and supporting the high black ceiling above. The black floor stopped at an area and wooden floorboards filled the rest of the ground. It gave the appearance of a floor torn up by an earthquake on the edge.
The first room was the living room. An elegant fireplace contained red flames that were constantly burning. A black leather couch faced a red wall that was decorated with various deer head trophies of many sizes. Some were stuffed versions of real brown deer. Others were the rotten partially furry heads of deer monsters from Hell. A fair amount were deer skulls with arching antlers. A resting rifle was displayed on the top of the fireplace, the same one he used as a human long ago. A red rug lay below the couch and took up much of the living room. The walls had borders with antler designs all in a row.
Attached to the living room was the kitchen. The wood floor met black and white checkered tile, a green line separating the different kinds. There was a high wooden countertop with a couple of bar stools facing the living room. Several appliances included an old fashioned stove, wooden cabinets, a metal sink and a mustard yellow fridge with an icebox.
Alastor opened the fridge door and gasped out loud.
“Oh my Satan!”
Among the eggs, food, and drinks was a severed purple demon head, with one eye missing.
He reached in with his hand…and pulled out an empty cartoon.
“Curses, I’m out of milk!” he exclaimed. “How am I supposed to have cereal tomorrow?”
He shut the door and sighed. “Oh well. I can always have a snack, instead.”
There were fans in every room (no air conditioning in Hell). To the left of the kitchen, a darkened path led to the bathroom and two bedrooms. There was also an extra room where Alastor kept all his radio equipment ready: a small microphone, headphones, a control panel of buttons, and even a sign that would lit up and read “on the air” in bold letters.
The bathroom consisted of a toilet, and a vanity with a mirror and a sink with two separate faucets for hot and cold water. Taking up much of the space was a black clawed bathtub in the shape of a cauldron. Alastor turned one of the knobs and a stream of dark red blood jetted out of the large faucet. He turned another knob and streams of red liquid sprayed out from the dish-sized shower head overhead. He tightened the knobs and the blood ceased flowing.
“Good, it still works,” Alastor said, relieved.
He made his way past the guest bedroom to his own room.
A twin-size bed had red satin sheets and a quilt made of soft deer fur neatly folded on the top of the bed toward the edge. The two pillows were neatly fluffed up and propped against the wooden headboard.
Closer to the doorway stood an old fashioned small screen TV with two large antennae jutting out from the top. It was light tan in color, complete with knobs on the front and to the sides. When he pushed the power button on the remote, a black and white show slowly appeared on screen. Unlike many old TV’s and remotes, Alastor had upgraded his with magic, allowing him to go to multiple channels. He watched some picture shows for a while on his bed, then turned the TV off.
He peered out a window, watching the outside world…or lack thereof.
This was a void world, a dimension where the Loas and shadow spirits resided and where the black tentacles originated…from mythical monsters in dark pits. Alastor’s lair hovered in place among the blackness. The demon grinned as he spotted rogue demons being chased, and sometimes mauled on by voodoo shadow creatures. A wrecked blaster from Sir Pentious’ blimp floated in the space. Here was were all the items and victims went when Alastor pulled them into the parallel place. Sometimes Alastor would send unlucky individuals here for entertainment and substance for the Loas. In return, they allowed him easy control of his powers. (Sure he was powerful enough already on his own, but even he knew that dark magic was dangerous for everyone.)
Alastor stepped down and opened his closet doors, revealing an array of suits, pants and shoes, mostly in dark reds and blacks.
But nestled behind the line of clothing was something extra peculiar.
In a large rosewood cabinet was a collection of hand-crafted Voodoo dolls.
Large ones made of cloth and straw with round button eyes and stitched mouths. Miniature ones made of wood. Several of them had pins with rounded ends stuck in various places.
But the ones on the widest middle shelf were the most noticeable. They were small dolls made in the likeness of Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Niffty, Husk, and even an Alastor one. All the heads seemed to be bigger than the bodies.
How ironic that hands who had performed countless killings, were also so gentle and precise when it came to voodoo doll making.
“I’ll start with mine, as usual,” he said. He picked up the figure representing himself, complete with tuffs of his own red hair on its head, red clothing made of cloth over the body and red buttons for the eyes. The arms and legs were black stitched material, no designs on them. Branded on the back of the doll was a voodoo symbol of protection, ensuring that no one else could use the doll against him.
“At least I can always count on myself.”
Grinning, he put the doll back onto the miniature stage. He examined the Husk one sitting by the crafted bar.
“You really are a grumpy cat,” Alastor mentioned. “But, I’ll admit, you were still fun to make.”
The doll had a white face with black fluffy ends, red eyebrows, black buttons for eyes and a red bowtie. He had a slight frown on his face. The ears were made of cotton balls and a black hat sat on his head. Red wings had been sewn onto the back.
“Don’t get into too much trouble. I want you to be the puurfect person for that Hazbin Hotel.” He laughed and paced him back at the cardboard bar.
“Cute little darling Niffty,” he continued, examining the miniature doll with bright magenta hair and an attached fake yellow eyeball. The white shirt and pink skirt were there as well (though Alastor had left out the poodle design on the skirt).
“Keep being handy and we’ll get along dandy,” he said in a sing song voice before putting her back beside the cardboard chimney.
“Oh Angel Dust,” he said with a roll of his eyes. He picked up the white doll, which had a small version of the white and pink outfit that Angel wore. He had a black bowtie, a head a little bit too football shaped, stitched smiling mouth and blue eye buttons.
“You get on my nerves, even in the process of making you,” he said. “I can’t even tell what those pink dots under your eyes are for. And your extra arms…they get all tangled everywhere. Well, at least you’re entertaining much of the time. You’ll have your purpose…and not of any sexual kind, good sir.”
He placed the Angel Dust doll on a web made of black string.
“Hello, naggy Vaggie,” Alastor commented as he observed the gray doll with long white string hair and a pink bow on the top. The white tank-top with the leggings were fastened onto the doll. One button was yellow while the other spot was painted with a pink x.
“Charlie’s best friend, yet different as night and day. No one likes a pessimist around, even in Hell. You got used to Hell, you can get used to anything. Even if it’s something unexpected in the future, perhaps?”
He placed her in her spot by a small paper lantern.
“Your pride is conssstricting isn’t it, Sir Pentious?”
He glanced up at a Sir Pentious doll wrapped up in black string upside down.
“You killjoys will fall again in the trench,” Alastor joked as he looked at a Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench doll stuffed into a hole in the wood.
“Cherri, you’re the bomb,” added Alastor to a doll with strawberry pink string hair and drawings of cherries on her clothes and fake eye. “Just try to control any explosive tempers you may have.”
Finally, up on another shelf, he came to his favorite group of people: Charlie, Rosie, Mimzy, and of course, his dear mother. (Made with deer characteristics like his). The Charlie doll had blond strings for hair, and her face was painted white with the red blushes. From the black bowtie to the white shirt, leggings and shoes, this figure was almost like the real thing. Another Alastor figure was placed in the middle of the three women. Off to the side, a black deer figure representing his father had pins sticking through his chest, head, and crotch.
“Charlie, my charming demon belle, how will you fare in running your hotel?”
Charlie was placed in front of his figure.
“Darling Mimzy, lover of jazz, who are you behind the glamor and pizazz?”
The white-haired, pink-eyed Mimzy figure was to his left.
“A rose by any name is still a rose. We shall see how our collaboration goes.”
The tall Rosie figure with black eyes, and a pink hat and dress was off to the right.
And right behind the Alastor figure was the doll that resembled his mother.
Version one resembled her human form: light brown skin, thick hair, wearing a beautiful dress and holding a bowl of jambalaya in her hands. The second version was her with Alastor’s grayish skin, red hair, red eyes, and antlers, wearing a black dress with skulls and symbols embroidered on it.
“Ma mere…” (my mom)…
“Tu me manques beaucoup.” (I miss you very much.)
His mother’s words came back to him: “Al, my darling, always remember to smile. Keep your head up, leave any doubts and weakness behind.”
Still wearing his grin, he wiped away a stray tear of sadness.
“You’re right mom. I can’t feel insecure now. You sinned in your life…just so you could see me again…still can’t believe it. I won’t let you done and I won’t let myself down…”
He opened up a final section of the cabinet, this one revealing the dolls dressed like overlords. Vox with a pin through his TV head, Valentino with two pins through his straw chest, Velvet restrained in velvet cloth. Most noticeable of all was a cardboard throne standing up straight, but with a visible tear down the center. Lucifer and Lilith wearing white, sitting on the ground covered in necklace chains. A paper apple staff with the apple part detached and the long black part torn in half.
Alastor grinned at a third doll of him positioned on a throne made of antlers and bone.
“…Especially when I have grand plans set in motion. Hahahahahaha!”
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Children of BFFH, Entry 66
Smiling in appreciation of the interior maze Maiko had created, I listened to her explain our battle strategy. She and Doc would be our only defenders. Four, Luce, and Crazy were currently casting spells to mess with Aid and Aiko’s ability to sense the paths. Crazy was going to take the hidden backdoor out of the fortress while I pretended to be her, accompanying Four Maimo, and Luce to the main gate. Stormcrow, of course, would be watching from above for enemy tricks.
The strategy seemed fairly sound to me. Maimo could easily shift the paths of the maze while people were inside, sensing their footsteps through the stone. If there was too much resistance from the others blasting holes, Doc could buy her time, creating telekinetic barriers as needed. Since neither Messy nor Aid would move at full speed during a battle, there was little chance of someone slipping through. Even if someone managed to slip through, mazes weren’t the easiest places to search, proving fairly effective at delaying enemies in the past. Actually...
“What’s wrong, Dea?” questioned Maiko, looking concerned.
“Hopefully, nothing, but I think Valeria can effectively walk through walls. We might have to be extra careful if she slips inside.” I explained, not sure what to think of having the two new members of the game. There was certainly excitement in the unknown, but both members were on the opposing team. Had Ella planned that from the start?
“She’s right.” agreed Four. “We can see how it goes, since Valeria’s still inexperienced, but she might be able to sweep through the corridors without ever even entering the fortress. Even if Valeria doesn’t think of it, the others might have.”
“Are you completely positive that you don’t want me on defense?” questioned Crazy, grinning so madly that Maiko and Maimo both stepped back.
“No, I still think I’ll manage. Our flag isn’t in plain sight, and only Messy should be able to sense it easily.” insisted Maiko. “Let’s just hope she’s on defense. If she’s on offense, you better find their flag extra quick.”
“Are you certain the puddle I left for you will be enough water for some kill shots?” asked Luce dubiously, despite having filled an entire pit. For water battles, Luce liked to keep a large globe of water floating nearby, and wasn’t opposed to sucking the moisture out of the air whenever she needed more.
Maiko and Maimo both nodded simultaneously as Maiko said, “Yes. The water turrets are already loaded, so I really just need a little for refills if they get that far.”
“Looks like they’ve signaled already.” announced Four.
Maiko frowned, but told us “I think we’re ready enough. Any objections?” When no one disagreed, she signaled the timer.
I quickly switched forms, trying not to think about how much I disliked the baggy shirt she had handed me to match the one she had prepared for Crazy. We looked like we had borrowed one of Four’s shirts for a nightgown. She probably had chosen this to give me more freedom for shifting, which I very much appreciated, but I feared the quadruplets took after their dad’s sense of style a little too much at times.
When the countdown finished, my group headed out. A large group was exiting the other fortress too, so I put on my wildest smile, attempting to look as Crazy as possible. Unfortunately, head-to-head fights really weren’t my strong point. If they attacked, the other team would quickly realize that I wasn’t the real Crazy, and probably take me out before I could mimic any of them effectively. Luckily, Four and Luce could surely handle Aid quickly, and then help me with the others. Having most of their team out for a minute might really help our odds of a quick win. Apparently, the other group had similar thoughts.
A large wall of fire encircled us barely a hundred feet out of the gate. The other group started to jog toward the back of our fortress. Stormcrow was immediately on them, having barely left the grounds himself, and launched a lightning bolt toward them. My jaw dropped when I saw an equally large bolt almost knock him out of the sky. Who could have… The answer popped into my head almost as fast as the question. Valeria. Valeria was in that group, defending them. She must’ve redirected his lightning.
“Walking over.” stated Four, having finished creating an illusion over the top of a telekinetic bridge, so we’d know where to walk.
As I hurried up and over the flames, I was thankful that Aid or Aiko was keeping the heat from reaching past the fire’s light.
“Duck!” exclaimed Luce as a child-sized bird hybrid flew at us on the bridge.
If not for Luce, Maimo would have been splashed by one of the water balloons that had been dropped, taking her out. None of us were used to two birds in the air.
“You know… I’d feel bad if I zapped her.” stated Maimo with a frown.
“Just scare her a little.” suggested Luce with a grin as she fired off streams of water from the nearby, floating globe. “Oh. Nevermind.” she stated when Rona’s wing was struck and Momma Mila announced her being out. “I really expected her to dodge that one.”
I rolled my eyes. Luce had obviously sent it a bit fast for most of us to dodge.
“Shouldn’t we attack the other group?” I suggested, feeling more confident that we’d be able to take them all out.
Four shook his head. “Not the mission. Don’t you have faith in Maiko’s defense?’
“Well, I do, but Valeria’s still a bit of an unknown. Cosette’s training her.” I reminded him.
He nodded once as he said, “Fair point. I’ll go slow them down a little more. The rest of you gang up on Messy and get their flag. Aspy’s probably with her.”
Feeling a moment of envy for his eyesight, I temporarily altered my eyes to get a better look at the other group. He was right. Aspy wasn’t there. Valeria was surprisingly adept at redirecting attacks. The other group was almost to our wall.
“Run, guys!” ordered Luce as she started off at what would look like a jog to anyone that didn’t know her. For Luce, this pace was barely more than a walk.
A portcullis lowered behind and in front of us as soon as we passed the threshold. Normal metal would probably bend under Luce’s strength, but this fortress was never made of normal metal.
“Right… Give me a minute.” stated Luce with a frown. The floating globe of water spread out into a large number of rotating streams, sawing away different sections of the portcullis.
“This is why Aika prefers going over walls.” mumbled Maimo.
“We’ll go over on the way out.” stated Luce as she glared at the portcullis.
Sticking with my role, I grinned and asked “Are you sure you don’t want me to…?”
“No, Crazy. I have this.” insisted Luce.
If the real Crazy had been spotted yet, there would be a large amount of noise from walls being torn apart. Crazy’s punch made even Luce’s look gentle, at least when she punched at Messy.
When Luce busted through, I had expected Messy to reveal herself, but I still didn’t see her anywhere.
Luce started to step through the opening, but bounced off thin air. “Cheap, Aspy!” she exclaimed, despite knowing that Doc would probably be doing similar by now. She started punching it repeatedly, knowing that he’d have to exert more effort than she was to keep her out.
“Are you sure I shouldn’t…” I started to ask.
“No!” exclaimed Luce, punching and following the blow through the now empty hole. Running into a large, metal wall that appeared in front of her, she called “Really, Messy!? That’s how we’re playing today!?”
If there was a limit to the number of walls Messy could create consecutively, none of us knew it. She never seemed tired.
The wall vanished to show Messy grinning. “Sorry! I couldn’t resist.” she teased.
“Ready to dance?” I asked, doing my best to look as excited as possible and hoping Messy didn’t accidentally dismember me with her control being a little worse than normal still.
“Nice try, Dea. Serenity’s creeping up the Southeast tower at the moment.” replied Messy, still smiling as her golden gaze rested on me.
“No fair!” exclaimed Crazy, probably from the indicated tower. She could yell really loud when she wanted.
With the gig officially up, I changed to a much larger form, strengthening my muscles and bones. “My turn first.” I announced, lifting the broken chunk of portcullis and charging Messy with it.
She stopped me with a kick, but I was satisfied that the ground was indentend from the impact. There wasn’t a chance that I could beat Messy in hand-to-hand combat on my best day, but I had three allies. I had at least a fifty-fifty chance that Crazy would get excited and abandon the search to try giving Messy a timeout, assuming Luce and Maimo didn’t manage to take her out first.
As Messy dodged my next hit, she was forced to use her power for aerial flips off nothing. Luce was mercilessly trying to tag her out with hundreds of watery streams flying through the air. I doubted even Four could dodge quite that much, but Messy had an infinite number of tricks at her disposal. She twisted and turned through the air, creating floating knight-like shields to deflect streams as needed. The shields would vanish as they fell.
To my surprise, I managed to grab her ankle, so I quickly tried flinging her into Luce’s barrage of water. Instead, she pushed her hands off nothing, hurling me into a hole that opened under me…. a wet hole.
“Dea has been killed, but will be able to return in one minute.” announced Momma Mila.
Auntie Raine had already moved me off the field. Sitting there, I felt confident that I could have dodged that pit if I hadn’t overextended myself, but I had grown too excited. Next time, I’d do better.
I did too. After my respawn, we had managed to get a kill shot on Messy when I distracted her with a few well-timed water spells. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find the flag. We had searched for only around five minutes when Mila announced the first capture, which was followed by the second incredibly quickly.
Laughing, Crazy said, “They used Valeria! That’s awesome!” Going by her unfocused expression, I guessed she was doing that thing where she watched elsewhere without moving.
My group didn’t even bother heading to defense. We all knew that we were beaten, since Ella had taken advantage of a gap in the rules. Without a doubt, we should have seen that one coming, but no one had expected Ella to pull such a trump card.
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TWO HUNDRED FIFTY THINGS AN ARCHITECT SHOULD KNOW
Michael Sorkin
1. The feel of cool marble under bare feet.
2. How to live in a small room with five strangers for six months.
3. With the same strangers in a lifeboat for one week.
4. The modulus of rupture.
5. The distance a shout carries in the city.
6. The distance of a whisper.
7. Everything possible about Hatshepsut’s temple (try not to see it as ‘modernist’ avant la lettre).
8. The number of people with rent subsidies in New York City.
9. In your town (include the rich).
10. The flowering season for azaleas.
11. The insulating properties of glass.
12. The history of its production and use.
13. And of its meaning.
14. How to lay bricks.
15. What Victor Hugo really meant by ‘this will kill that.’
16. The rate at which the seas are rising.
17. Building information modeling (BIM).
18. How to unclog a Rapidograph.
19. The Gini coefficient.
20. A comfortable tread-to-riser ratio for a six-year-old.
21. In a wheelchair.
22. The energy embodied in aluminum.
23. How to turn a corner.
24. How to design a corner.
25. How to sit in a corner.
26. How Antoni Gaudí modeled the Sagrada Família and calculated its structure.
27. The proportioning system for the Villa Rotonda.
28. The rate at which that carpet you specified off-gasses.
29. The relevant sections of the Code of Hammurabi.
30. The migratory patterns of warblers and other seasonal travellers.
31. The basics of mud construction.
32. The direction of prevailing winds.
33. Hydrology is destiny.
34. Jane Jacobs in and out.
35. Something about feng shui.
36. Something about Vastu Shilpa.
37. Elementary ergonomics.
38. The color wheel.
39. What the client wants.
40. What the client thinks it wants.
41. What the client needs.
42. What the client can afford.
43. What the planet can afford.
44. The theoretical bases for modernity and a great deal about its factions and inflections.
45. What post-Fordism means for the mode of production of building.
46. Another language.
47. What the brick really wants.
48. The difference between Winchester Cathedral and a bicycle shed.
49. What went wrong in Fatehpur Sikri.
50. What went wrong in Pruitt-Igoe.
51. What went wrong with the Tacoma Narrows Bridge.
52. Where the CCTV cameras are.
53. Why Mies really left Germany.
54. How people lived in Çatal Hüyük.
55. The structural properties of tufa.
56. How to calculate the dimensions of brise-soleil.
57. The kilowatt costs of photovoltaic cells.
58. Vitruvius.
59. Walter Benjamin.
60. Marshall Berman.
61. The secrets of the success of Robert Moses.
62. How the dome on the Duomo in Florence was built.
63. The reciprocal influences of Chinese and Japanese building.
64. The cycle of the Ise Shrine.
65. Entasis.
66. The history of Soweto.
67. What it’s like to walk down the Ramblas.
68. Back-up.
69. The proper proportions of a gin martini.
70. Shear and moment.
71. Shakespeare, et cetera.
72. How the crow flies.
73. The difference between a ghetto and a neighborhood.
74. How the pyramids were built.
75. Why.
76. The pleasures of the suburbs.
77. The horrors.
78. The quality of light passing through ice.
79. The meaninglessness of borders.
80. The reasons for their tenacity.
81. The creativity of the ecotone.
82. The need for freaks.
83. Accidents must happen.
84. It is possible to begin designing anywhere.
85. The smell of concrete after rain.
86. The angle of the sun at the equinox.
87. How to ride a bicycle.
88. The depth of the aquifer beneath you.
89. The slope of a handicapped ramp.
90. The wages of construction workers.
91. Perspective by hand.
92. Sentence structure.
93. The pleasure of a spritz at sunset at a table by the Grand Canal.
94. The thrill of the ride.
95. Where materials come from.
96. How to get lost.
97. The pattern of artificial light at night, seen from space.
98. What human differences are defensible in practice.
99. Creation is a patient search.
100. The debate between Otto Wagner and Camillo Sitte.
101. The reasons for the split between architecture and engineering.
102. Many ideas about what constitutes utopia.
103. The social and formal organization of the villages of the Dogon.
104. Brutalism, Bowellism, and the Baroque.
105. How to dérive.
106. Woodshop safety.
107. A great deal about the Gothic.
108. The architectural impact of colonialism on the cities of North Africa.
109. A distaste for imperialism.
110. The history of Beijing.
111. Dutch domestic architecture in the 17th century.
112. Aristotle’s Politics.
113. His Poetics.
114. The basics of wattle and daub.
115. The origins of the balloon frame.
116. The rate at which copper acquires its patina.
117. The levels of particulates in the air of Tianjin.
118. The capacity of white pine trees to sequester carbon.
119. Where else to sink it.
120. The fire code.
121. The seismic code.
122. The health code.
123. The Romantics, throughout the arts and philosophy.
124. How to listen closely.
125. That there is a big danger in working in a single medium. The logjam you don’t even know you’re stuck in will be broken by a shift in representation.
126. The exquisite corpse.
127. Scissors, stone, paper.
128. Good Bordeaux.
129. Good beer.
130. How to escape a maze.
131. QWERTY.
132. Fear.
133. Finding your way around Prague, Fez, Shanghai, Johannesburg, Kyoto, Rio, Mexico, Solo, Benares, Bangkok, Leningrad, Isfahan.
134. The proper way to behave with interns.
135. Maya, Revit, Catia, whatever.
136. The history of big machines, including those that can fly.
137. How to calculate ecological footprints.
138. Three good lunch spots within walking distance.
139. The value of human life.
140. Who pays.
141. Who profits.
142. The Venturi effect.
143. How people pee.
144. What to refuse to do, even for the money.
145. The fine print in the contract.
146. A smattering of naval architecture.
147. The idea of too far.
148. The idea of too close.
149. Burial practices in a wide range of cultures.
150. The density needed to support a pharmacy.
151. The density needed to support a subway.
152. The effect of the design of your city on food miles for fresh produce.
153. Lewis Mumford and Patrick Geddes.
154. Capability Brown, André Le Nôtre, Frederick Law Olmsted, Muso Soseki, Ji Cheng, and Roberto Burle Marx.
155. Constructivism, in and out.
156. Sinan.
157. Squatter settlements via visits and conversations with residents.
158. The history and techniques of architectural representation across cultures.
159. Several other artistic media.
160. A bit of chemistry and physics.
161. Geodesics.
162. Geodetics.
163. Geomorphology.
164. Geography.
165. The Law of the Andes.
166. Cappadocia first-hand.
167. The importance of the Amazon.
168. How to patch leaks.
169. What makes you happy.
170. The components of a comfortable environment for sleep.
171. The view from the Acropolis.
172. The way to Santa Fe.
173. The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World.
174. Where to eat in Brooklyn.
175. Half as much as a London cabbie.
176. The Nolli Plan.
177. The Cerdà Plan.
178. The Haussmann Plan.
179. Slope analysis.
180. Darkroom procedures and Photoshop.
181. Dawn breaking after a bender.
182. Styles of genealogy and taxonomy.
183. Betty Friedan.
184. Guy Debord.
185. Ant Farm.
186. Archigram.
187. Club Med.
188. Crepuscule in Dharamshala.
189. Solid geometry.
190. Strengths of materials (if only intuitively).
191. Ha Long Bay.
192. What’s been accomplished in Medellín.
193. In Rio.
194. In Calcutta.
195. In Curitiba.
196. In Mumbai.
197. Who practices? (It is your duty to secure this space for all who want to.)
198. Why you think architecture does any good.
199. The depreciation cycle.
200. What rusts.
201. Good model-making techniques in wood and cardboard.
202. How to play a musical instrument.
203. Which way the wind blows.
204. The acoustical properties of trees and shrubs.
205. How to guard a house from floods.
206. The connection between the Suprematists and Zaha.
207. The connection between Oscar Niemeyer and Zaha.
208. Where north (or south) is.
209. How to give directions, efficiently and courteously.
210. Stadtluft macht frei.
211. Underneath the pavement the beach.
212. Underneath the beach the pavement.
213. The germ theory of disease.
214. The importance of vitamin D.
215. How close is too close.
216. The capacity of a bioswale to recharge the aquifer.
217. The draught of ferries.
218. Bicycle safety and etiquette.
219. The difference between gabions and riprap.
220. The acoustic performance of Boston Symphony Hall.
221. How to open the window.
222. The diameter of the earth.
223. The number of gallons of water used in a shower.
224. The distance at which you can recognize faces.
225. How and when to bribe public officials (for the greater good).
226. Concrete finishes.
227. Brick bonds.
228. The Housing Question by Friedrich Engels.
229. The prismatic charms of Greek island towns.
230. The energy potential of the wind.
231. The cooling potential of the wind, including the use of chimneys and the stack effect.
232. Paestum.
233. Straw-bale building technology.
234. Rachel Carson.
235. Freud.
236. The excellence of Michel de Klerk.
237. Of Alvar Aalto.
238. Of Lina Bo Bardi.
239. The non-pharmacological components of a good club.
240. Mesa Verde National Park.
241. Chichen Itza.
242. Your neighbors.
243. The dimensions and proper orientation of sports fields.
244. The remediation capacity of wetlands.
245. The capacity of wetlands to attenuate storm surges.
246. How to cut a truly elegant section.
247. The depths of desire.
248. The heights of folly.
249. Low tide.
250. The Golden and other ratios.
https://www.readingdesign.org/
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TWO HUNDRED FIFTY THINGS AN ARCHITECT SHOULD KNOW
Michael Sorkin
1. The feel of cool marble under bare feet.
2. How to live in a small room with five strangers for six months.
3. With the same strangers in a lifeboat for one week.
4. The modulus of rupture.
5. The distance a shout carries in the city.
6. The distance of a whisper.
7. Everything possible about Hatshepsut’s temple (try not to see it as ‘modernist’ avant la lettre).
8. The number of people with rent subsidies in New York City.
9. In your town (include the rich).
10. The flowering season for azaleas.
11. The insulating properties of glass.
12. The history of its production and use.
13. And of its meaning.
14. How to lay bricks.
15. What Victor Hugo really meant by ‘this will kill that.’
16. The rate at which the seas are rising.
17. Building information modeling (BIM).
18. How to unclog a Rapidograph.
19. The Gini coefficient.
20. A comfortable tread-to-riser ratio for a six-year-old.
21. In a wheelchair.
22. The energy embodied in aluminum.
23. How to turn a corner.
24. How to design a corner.
25. How to sit in a corner.
26. How Antoni Gaudí modeled the Sagrada Família and calculated its structure.
27. The proportioning system for the Villa Rotonda.
28. The rate at which that carpet you specified off-gasses.
29. The relevant sections of the Code of Hammurabi.
30. The migratory patterns of warblers and other seasonal travellers.
31. The basics of mud construction.
32. The direction of prevailing winds.
33. Hydrology is destiny.
34. Jane Jacobs in and out.
35. Something about feng shui.
36. Something about Vastu Shilpa.
37. Elementary ergonomics.
38. The color wheel.
39. What the client wants.
40. What the client thinks it wants.
41. What the client needs.
42. What the client can afford.
43. What the planet can afford.
44. The theoretical bases for modernity and a great deal about its factions and inflections.
45. What post-Fordism means for the mode of production of building.
46. Another language.
47. What the brick really wants.
48. The difference between Winchester Cathedral and a bicycle shed.
49. What went wrong in Fatehpur Sikri.
50. What went wrong in Pruitt-Igoe.
51. What went wrong with the Tacoma Narrows Bridge.
52. Where the CCTV cameras are.
53. Why Mies really left Germany.
Upto #53 ready reckoner here: https://adamachrati.wordpress.com/category/sorkin-250/
54. How people lived in Çatal Hüyük.
55. The structural properties of tufa.
56. How to calculate the dimensions of brise-soleil.
57. The kilowatt costs of photovoltaic cells.
58. Vitruvius.
59. Walter Benjamin.
60. Marshall Berman.
61. The secrets of the success of Robert Moses.
62. How the dome on the Duomo in Florence was built.
63. The reciprocal influences of Chinese and Japanese building.
64. The cycle of the Ise Shrine.
65. Entasis.
66. The history of Soweto.
67. What it’s like to walk down the Ramblas.
68. Back-up.
69. The proper proportions of a gin martini.
70. Shear and moment.
71. Shakespeare, et cetera.
72. How the crow flies.
73. The difference between a ghetto and a neighborhood.
74. How the pyramids were built.
75. Why.
76. The pleasures of the suburbs.
77. The horrors.
78. The quality of light passing through ice.
79. The meaninglessness of borders.
80. The reasons for their tenacity.
81. The creativity of the ecotone.
82. The need for freaks.
83. Accidents must happen.
84. It is possible to begin designing anywhere.
85. The smell of concrete after rain.
86. The angle of the sun at the equinox.
87. How to ride a bicycle.
88. The depth of the aquifer beneath you.
89. The slope of a handicapped ramp.
90. The wages of construction workers.
91. Perspective by hand.
92. Sentence structure.
93. The pleasure of a spritz at sunset at a table by the Grand Canal.
94. The thrill of the ride.
95. Where materials come from.
96. How to get lost.
97. The pattern of artificial light at night, seen from space.
98. What human differences are defensible in practice.
99. Creation is a patient search.
100. The debate between Otto Wagner and Camillo Sitte.
101. The reasons for the split between architecture and engineering.
102. Many ideas about what constitutes utopia.
103. The social and formal organization of the villages of the Dogon.
104. Brutalism, Bowellism, and the Baroque.
105. How to dérive.
106. Woodshop safety.
107. A great deal about the Gothic.
108. The architectural impact of colonialism on the cities of North Africa.
109. A distaste for imperialism.
110. The history of Beijing.
111. Dutch domestic architecture in the 17th century.
112. Aristotle’s Politics.
113. His Poetics.
114. The basics of wattle and daub.
115. The origins of the balloon frame.
116. The rate at which copper acquires its patina.
117. The levels of particulates in the air of Tianjin.
118. The capacity of white pine trees to sequester carbon.
119. Where else to sink it.
120. The fire code.
121. The seismic code.
122. The health code.
123. The Romantics, throughout the arts and philosophy.
124. How to listen closely.
125. That there is a big danger in working in a single medium. The logjam you don’t even know you’re stuck in will be broken by a shift in representation.
126. The exquisite corpse.
127. Scissors, stone, paper.
128. Good Bordeaux.
129. Good beer.
130. How to escape a maze.
131. QWERTY.
132. Fear.
133. Finding your way around Prague, Fez, Shanghai, Johannesburg, Kyoto, Rio, Mexico, Solo, Benares, Bangkok, Leningrad, Isfahan.
134. The proper way to behave with interns.
135. Maya, Revit, Catia, whatever.
136. The history of big machines, including those that can fly.
137. How to calculate ecological footprints.
138. Three good lunch spots within walking distance.
139. The value of human life.
140. Who pays.
141. Who profits.
142. The Venturi effect.
143. How people pee.
144. What to refuse to do, even for the money.
145. The fine print in the contract.
146. A smattering of naval architecture.
147. The idea of too far.
148. The idea of too close.
149. Burial practices in a wide range of cultures.
150. The density needed to support a pharmacy.
151. The density needed to support a subway.
152. The effect of the design of your city on food miles for fresh produce.
153. Lewis Mumford and Patrick Geddes.
154. Capability Brown, André Le Nôtre, Frederick Law Olmsted, Muso Soseki, Ji Cheng, and Roberto Burle Marx.
155. Constructivism, in and out.
156. Sinan.
157. Squatter settlements via visits and conversations with residents.
158. The history and techniques of architectural representation across cultures.
159. Several other artistic media.
160. A bit of chemistry and physics.
161. Geodesics.
162. Geodetics.
163. Geomorphology.
164. Geography.
165. The Law of the Andes.
166. Cappadocia first-hand.
167. The importance of the Amazon.
168. How to patch leaks.
169. What makes you happy.
170. The components of a comfortable environment for sleep.
171. The view from the Acropolis.
172. The way to Santa Fe.
173. The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World.
174. Where to eat in Brooklyn.
175. Half as much as a London cabbie.
176. The Nolli Plan.
177. The Cerdà Plan.
178. The Haussmann Plan.
179. Slope analysis.
180. Darkroom procedures and Photoshop.
181. Dawn breaking after a bender.
182. Styles of genealogy and taxonomy.
183. Betty Friedan.
184. Guy Debord.
185. Ant Farm.
186. Archigram.
187. Club Med.
188. Crepuscule in Dharamshala.
189. Solid geometry.
190. Strengths of materials (if only intuitively).
191. Ha Long Bay.
192. What’s been accomplished in Medellín.
193. In Rio.
194. In Calcutta.
195. In Curitiba.
196. In Mumbai.
197. Who practices? (It is your duty to secure this space for all who want to.)
198. Why you think architecture does any good.
199. The depreciation cycle.
200. What rusts.
201. Good model-making techniques in wood and cardboard.
202. How to play a musical instrument.
203. Which way the wind blows.
204. The acoustical properties of trees and shrubs.
205. How to guard a house from floods.
206. The connection between the Suprematists and Zaha.
207. The connection between Oscar Niemeyer and Zaha.
208. Where north (or south) is.
209. How to give directions, efficiently and courteously.
210. Stadtluft macht frei.
211. Underneath the pavement the beach.
212. Underneath the beach the pavement.
213. The germ theory of disease.
214. The importance of vitamin D.
215. How close is too close.
216. The capacity of a bioswale to recharge the aquifer.
217. The draught of ferries.
218. Bicycle safety and etiquette.
219. The difference between gabions and riprap.
220. The acoustic performance of Boston Symphony Hall.
221. How to open the window.
222. The diameter of the earth.
223. The number of gallons of water used in a shower.
224. The distance at which you can recognize faces.
225. How and when to bribe public officials (for the greater good).
226. Concrete finishes.
227. Brick bonds.
228. The Housing Question by Friedrich Engels.
229. The prismatic charms of Greek island towns.
230. The energy potential of the wind.
231. The cooling potential of the wind, including the use of chimneys and the stack effect.
232. Paestum.
233. Straw-bale building technology.
234. Rachel Carson.
235. Freud.
236. The excellence of Michel de Klerk.
237. Of Alvar Aalto.
238. Of Lina Bo Bardi.
239. The non-pharmacological components of a good club.
240. Mesa Verde National Park.
241. Chichen Itza.
242. Your neighbors.
243. The dimensions and proper orientation of sports fields.
244. The remediation capacity of wetlands.
245. The capacity of wetlands to attenuate storm surges.
246. How to cut a truly elegant section.
247. The depths of desire.
248. The heights of folly.
249. Low tide.
250. The Golden and other ratios.
Published in: Michael Sorkin, What Goes Up, London: Verso, 2018.
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·
View notes
Text
General calls on Boris Johnson to set out new strategy to stop Afghanistan becoming terror base
General calls on Boris Johnson to set out new strategy to stop Afghanistan becoming terror base
A former head of the UK armed forces has called on Boris Johnson to set out a new strategy for Afghanistan to prevent the country once more becoming a haven for international terror following the West’s “defeat”.
General Lord Richards said he was “fed up” with government silence over what comes next after the withdrawal of Western troops from the country, where he commanded the International Security Assistance Force between 2006 and 2007.
The pull-out represented the culmination of “a pretty sorry tale of Western failed geo-strategy over the last 20 years”, not only in Afghanistan but also in Iraq, Libya and Syria, he said.
And he warned that with European troops gone and US deployment set to follow within months, cities like Kandahar are likely to fall to the Taliban, creating “ungoverned space” which could provide a haven for the planning of future terrorist outrages like the September 11 attacks on New York and Washington in 2001.
Gen Richards, who served as chief of defence staff from 2010-13, said that he accepted a “share of the blame” for the failure to secure Afghanistan from eventual recapture by militant fighters. But he said Western politicians bore much of the responsibility because of a failure to pour in political and economic resources following the initial fall of the Taliban regime in 2001.
Gen Richards told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme: “We have invested – as a country, as the West and the United States particularly – 20 years of time and much money and many lives in Afghanistan.
“I’m getting a little bit fed up that I’ve not heard from our government – indeed from the prime minister – as to why we have reached this nadir.
“It’s really not good enough, and I would like to hear from the government – I think it’s a prime ministerial obligation now – as to why we’ve got into this position and what we are now going to do about it.”
The former army chief has been active in the campaign to allow Afghan military interpreters to resettle in the UK, but warned that this must not be allowed to deflect attention from the wider issues around the future of the region.
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15 June 2021
Parcel delivery workers scuffle with police officers as they try to bring loudspeakers, an unauthorised protest item, during a rally calling for improvement of working conditions in Seoul
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World news in pictures
14 June 2021
Workers pluck tea leaves during a rainfall following a relaxation of lockdown restrictions imposed to curb the spread of the Covid-19 coronavirus, at Rohini village, some 15 km from Siliguri on June 14, 2021
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World news in pictures
13 June 2021
eople celebrate after Israel’s parliament voted in a new coalition government, ending Benjamin Netanyahu’s 12-year hold on power, at Rabin Square in Tel Aviv, Israel
Reuters
World news in pictures
12 June 2021
Tape is lifted by air leaving a vent from the metro system as thousands of activists take part in the anti-extreme right ‘March of Freedoms’ in Paris, France
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World news in pictures
11 June 2021
Achille the cat, one of the State Hermitage Museum mice hunters, attempts to predict the result of the first UEFA EURO 2020 football match between Turkey and Italy, during a ceremony in Saint Petersburg, on June 11, 2021
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World news in pictures
10 June 2021
An annular solar eclipse rises over the skyline of Toronto
The Canadian Press via AP
“It’s deflecting attention from our defeat,” said Gen Richards. “Added to what happened in Iraq, Libya, Syria, it’s a pretty sorry tale of Western failed geo-strategy over the last 20 years.
“And it’s time we had an explanation of why and what are we now going to do about it, to prevent it from happening in the way we all now fear might occur.”
Gen Richards said that the “light-touch” political and economic approach pursued by United Nations envoy Lakhdar Brahimi meant that the international community failed to consolidate the military gains of the 2001 campaign to oust the Taliban, allowing the militant group to return as a threat in 2006-07.
“As all soldiers will tell you, we know we can’t win these things by military means alone,” he said.
“What we hoped we were doing was providing an opportunity for governments, the whole of the West, to act in the way they needed, not just militarily but politically and economically.
“That didn’t happen… At the very moment, in 2002 to 2005, when the West should have poured in assets – and I’m talking primarily non-military by the way – we didn’t do so. The Taliban sensed an opportunity, they came back.”
Gen Richards said it was “inevitable” that Afghanistan’s second city Kandahar will fall to the Taliban forces unless circumstances change.
And he said the capture of the “totemic” city would pave the way for the whole of the south of the country to fall into the group’s hands.
“My biggest worry at the moment is, with the Western forces having pulled out with no adequate explanation of what is going to replace them, we are going to see a potential collapse in Afghan Armed Forces morale,” he said.
This “most certainly” raised the risk of a return of Islamist terror groups similar to Osama bin Laden’s al-Qaida, which planned the 9/11 attacks as guests of the Taliban in Afghanistan, he said.
“There will be ungoverned space… and in that ungoverned space terrorist acts may yet again be planned and executed,” warned Gen Richards.
“I think we all forget too readily the scenes of 9/11, the Twin Towers and the attack in Washington.
“That is actually why we went into Afghanistan, and we’ve been spectacularly successful in achieving what we aimed to do. That is now being put at risk, along with all the wonderful gains in terms of education, health, and democracy, allowing people to hope for the future.
“All that is now, I’m afraid at great risk. We don’t have a substitute strategy and I want to hear what it should be.”
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SP#7 Impossible Ideas
1. Have only thumbs
2. Everyone in the world wears only blue jeans
3. Land the moon on earth
4. Everyone jump in the ocean to create a tidal wave
5. Create a human chain across the ocean
6. Hold hands with your past self
7. Watch all the movies ever created
8. Spit across mountains
9. Recreate Mt. Everest with a spoon
10. Drop and roll all the way up a mountain
11. Go to the other side of the world in 10 seconds
12. Make edible soup with cyanide
13. See the afterlife without dying
14. Time travel via car
15. Ride a T-rex
16. Sing forever
17. Drink water from the moon
18. Fish all the fish in the ocean
19. Swim to the bottom of the Mariana Trench
20. Float in lava
21. Jump on quick sand like a trampoline
22. Go to the Earth’s core
23. Do a cartwheel in the vacuum of space
24. Only travel by jumping on couches
25. Run somewhere but go nowhere
26. Go up the stairs in the woods, find out where it goes
27. Go into the other side of the mirror
28. Crawl on the sky
29. Blow away clouds
30. Fight the gods
31. Be a shapeshifter
32. Float like a balloon
33. Dig through the ground like a mole
34. Replace air with water
35. Reverse all the elements
36. Do a billion pushups
37. Jump to the top of the tallest building
38. Collapse time
39. Go into a building that no longer exists
40. Hold a conversation with a person that is no longer here
41. Talk to the dead as a dead person
42. Go into the basement of a house without a basement
43. Go live in a different universe
44. Jump between planets
45. Build a house on the sun
46. Remake the Giza pyramids out of humans
47. Make a dress out of air
48. Be 4 million people
49. Walk a billion mosquitoes on one leash
50. Make a backpack that can carry the solar system
51. Hold a singular atom
52. Become the nucleus of a cell
53. Eat radiation
54. Roll the earth flat
55. Make all the stars star shaped
56. Suck up all the air on earth
57. Play musical chairs with a whole country
58. Become a 50 feet tall cyclops
59. Put wind in a bag
60. Make the ocean reach the core of the earth and make cobblestone
61. Cut stone into thin slices
62. Make a door as big as the earth and open it
63. Use an umbrella to fly
64. Sit on a star
65. Fly via breath
66. Worldwide dance party
67. Shifted the world and make it collide with Venus
68. Send all boys to Mercury
69. Gift wrap Pluto
70. Carry molten lava
71. Eliminate all mental illness
72. Everyone stand still, nothing moves
73. Make your blood stop
74. Be immortal
75. combine water and oil
76. eliminate night time
77. Make the sun a long tube
78. Cut a slice of earth like a cake
79. Restart history
80. Make a list of a million impossible things
81. Make a goldfish run as fast as a horse
82. Have a million dogs
83. Fit all the animals of the world onto one boat
84. Stop all natural disasters
85. Use a straw to blow away all tornadoes
86. Name a hurricane a masculine name
87. Start a country that will last forever
88. Listen to a hundred people at once
89. See through a person
90. Be invisible
91. Run through time
92. Do the impossible
93. Be born again
94. Be a squid
95. Be born perfect
96. Delete the world
97. Undo everything you have ever done
98. Create every possible idea
99. Have a million babies
100. Undo having a million babies
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TWO HUNDRED FIFTY THINGS AN ARCHITECT SHOULD KNOW
by Michael Sorkin
1 The feel of cool marble under bare feet.
2 How to live in a small room with five strangers for six months.
3 With the same strangers in a lifeboat for one week.
4 The modulus of rupture.
5 The distance a shout carries in the city.
6 The distance of a whisper.
7 Everything possible about Hatshepsut’s temple (try not to see it as “modernist” avant la lettre).
8 The number of people with rent subsidies in New York City.
9 In your town (include the rich).
10 The flowering season for azaleas.
11 The insulating properties of glass.
12 The history of its production and use.
13 And of its meaning.
14 How to lay bricks.
15 What Victor Hugo really meant by ‘this will kill that.’
16 The rate at which the seas are rising.
17 Building information modeling (BIM).
18 How to unclog a Rapidograph.
19 The Gini coefficient.
20 A comfortable tread-to-riser ratio for a six-year-old.
21 In a wheelchair.
22 The energy embodied in aluminum.
23 How to turn a corner.
24 How to design a corner.
25 How to sit in a corner.
26 How Antoni Gaudí modeled the Sagrada Família and calculated its structure.
27 The proportioning system for the Villa Rotonda.
28 The rate at which that carpet you specified off-gasses.
29 The relevant sections of the Code of Hammurabi.
30 The migratory patterns of warblers and other seasonal travelers.
31 The basics of mud construction.
32 The direction of prevailing winds.
33 Hydrology is destiny.
34 Jane Jacobs in and out.
35 Something about feng shui.
36 Something about Vastu Shilpa.
37 Elementary ergonomics.
38 The color wheel.
39 What the client wants.
40 What the client thinks it wants.
41 What the client needs.
42 What the client can afford.
43 What the planet can afford.
44 The theoretical bases for modernity and a great deal about its factions and inflections.
45 What post-Fordism means for the mode of production of building.
46 Another language.
47 What the brick really wants.
48 The difference between Winchester Cathedral and a bicycle shed.
49 What went wrong in Fatehpur Sikri.
50 What went wrong in Pruitt-Igoe.
51 What went wrong with the Tacoma Narrows Bridge.
52 Where the CCTV cameras are.
53 Why Mies really left Germany.
54 How people lived in Çatal Hüyük.
55 The structural properties of tufa.
56 How to calculate the dimensions of brise-soleil.
57 The kilowatt costs of photovoltaic cells.
58 Vitruvius.
59 Walter Benjamin.
60 Marshall Berman.
61 The secrets of the success of Robert Moses.
62 How the dome on the Duomo in Florence was built.
63 The reciprocal influences of Chinese and Japanese building.
64 The cycle of the Ise Shrine.
65 Entasis.
66 The history of Soweto.
67 What it’s like to walk down the Ramblas.
68 Back-up.
69 The proper proportions of a gin martini.
70 Shear and moment.
71 Shakespeare, et cetera.
72 How the crow flies.
73 The difference between a ghetto and a neighborhood.
74 How the pyramids were built.
75 Why.
76 The pleasures of the suburbs.
77 The horrors.
78 The quality of light passing through ice.
79 The meaninglessness of borders.
80 The reasons for their tenacity.
81 The creativity of the ecotone.
82 The need for freaks.
83 Accidents must happen.
84 It is possible to begin designing anywhere.
85 The smell of concrete after rain.
86 The angle of the sun at the equinox.
87 How to ride a bicycle.
88 The depth of the aquifer beneath you.
89 The slope of a handicapped ramp.
90 The wages of construction workers.
91 Perspective by hand.
92 Sentence structure.
93 The pleasure of a spritz at sunset at a table by the Grand Canal.
94 The thrill of the ride.
95 Where materials come from.
96 How to get lost.
97 The pattern of artificial light at night, seen from space.
98 What human differences are defensible in practice.
99 Creation is a patient search.
100 The debate between Otto Wagner and Camillo Sitte.
101 The reasons for the split between architecture and engineering.
102 Many ideas about what constitutes utopia.
103 The social and formal organization of the villages of the Dogon.
104 Brutalism, Bowellism, and the Baroque.
105 How to dérive.
106 Woodshop safety.
107 A great deal about the Gothic.
108 The architectural impact of colonialism on the cities of North Africa.
109 A distaste for imperialism.
110 The history of Beijing.
111 Dutch domestic architecture in the 17th century.
112 Aristotle’s Politics.
113 His Poetics.
114 The basics of wattle and daub.
115 The origins of the balloon frame.
116 The rate at which copper acquires its patina.
117 The levels of particulates in the air of Tianjin.
118 The capacity of white pine trees to sequester carbon.
119 Where else to sink it.
120 The fire code.
121 The seismic code.
122 The health code.
123 The Romantics, throughout the arts and philosophy.
124 How to listen closely.
125 That there is a big danger in working in a single medium. The logjam you don’t even know you’re stuck in will be broken by a shift in representation.
126 The exquisite corpse.
127 Scissors, stone, paper.
128 Good Bordeaux.
129 Good beer.
130 How to escape a maze.
131 QWERTY.
132 Fear.
133 Finding your way around Prague, Fez, Shanghai, Johannesburg, Kyoto, Rio, Mexico, Solo, Benares, Bangkok, Leningrad, Isfahan.
134 The proper way to behave with interns.
135 Maya, Revit, Catia, whatever.
136 The history of big machines, including those that can fly.
137 How to calculate ecological footprints.
138 Three good lunch spots within walking distance.
139 The value of human life.
140 Who pays.
141 Who profits.
142 The Venturi effect.
143 How people pee.
144 What to refuse to do, even for the money.
145 The fine print in the contract.
146 A smattering of naval architecture.
147 The idea of too far.
148 The idea of too close.
149 Burial practices in a wide range of cultures.
150 The density needed to support a pharmacy.
151 The density needed to support a subway.
152 The effect of the design of your city on food miles for fresh produce.
153 Lewis Mumford and Patrick Geddes.
154 Capability Brown, André Le Nôtre, Frederick Law Olmsted, Muso Soseki, Ji Cheng, and Roberto Burle Marx.
155 Constructivism, in and out.
156 Sinan.
157 Squatter settlements via visits and conversations with residents.
158 The history and techniques of architectural representation across cultures.
159 Several other artistic media.
160 A bit of chemistry and physics.
161 Geodesics.
162 Geodetics.
163 Geomorphology.
164 Geography.
165 The Law of the Andes.
166 Cappadocia first-hand.
167 The importance of the Amazon.
168 How to patch leaks.
169 What makes you happy.
170 The components of a comfortable environment for sleep.
171 The view from the Acropolis.
172 The way to Santa Fe.
173 The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World.
174 Where to eat in Brooklyn.
175 Half as much as a London cabbie.
176 The Nolli Plan.
177 The Cerdà Plan.
178 The Haussmann Plan.
179 Slope analysis.
180 Darkroom procedures and Photoshop.
181 Dawn breaking after a bender.
182 Styles of genealogy and taxonomy.
183 Betty Friedan.
184 Guy Debord.
185 Ant Farm.
186 Archigram.
187 Club Med.
188 Crepuscule in Dharamshala.
189 Solid geometry.
190 Strengths of materials (if only intuitively).
191 Ha Long Bay.
192 What’s been accomplished in Medellín.
193 In Rio.
194 In Calcutta.
195 In Curitiba.
196 In Mumbai.
197 Who practices? (It is your duty to secure this space for all who want to.)
198 Why you think architecture does any good.
199 The depreciation cycle.
200 What rusts.
201 Good model-making techniques in wood and cardboard.
202 How to play a musical instrument.
203 Which way the wind blows.
204 The acoustical properties of trees and shrubs.
205 How to guard a house from floods.
206 The connection between the Suprematists and Zaha.
207 The connection between Oscar Niemeyer and Zaha.
208 Where north (or south) is.
209 How to give directions, efficiently and courteously.
210 Stadtluft macht frei.
211 Underneath the pavement the beach.
212 Underneath the beach the pavement.
213 The germ theory of disease.
214 The importance of vitamin D.
215 How close is too close.
216 The capacity of a bioswale to recharge the aquifer.
217 The draught of ferries.
218 Bicycle safety and etiquette.
219 The difference between gabions and riprap.
220 The acoustic performance of Boston Symphony Hall.
221 How to open the window.
222 The diameter of the earth.
223 The number of gallons of water used in a shower.
224 The distance at which you can recognize faces.
225 How and when to bribe public officials (for the greater good).
226 Concrete finishes.
227 Brick bonds.
228 The Housing Question by Friedrich Engels.
229 The prismatic charms of Greek island towns.
230 The energy potential of the wind.
231 The cooling potential of the wind, including the use of chimneys and the stack effect.
232 Paestum.
233 Straw-bale building technology.
234 Rachel Carson.
235 Freud.
236 The excellence of Michel de Klerk.
237 Of Alvar Aalto.
238 Of Lina Bo Bardi.
239 The non-pharmacological components of a good club.
240 Mesa Verde National Park.
241 Chichen Itza.
242 Your neighbors.
243 The dimensions and proper orientation of sports fields.
244 The remediation capacity of wetlands.
245 The capacity of wetlands to attenuate storm surges.
246 How to cut a truly elegant section.
247 The depths of desire.
248 The heights of folly.
249 Low tide.
250 The Golden and other ratios.
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Turkey Torts (2019)
In celebration of Thanksgiving, I give you our annual Turkey Torts of civil and criminal cases that add liability to libations on this special day (with past cases at the bottom). Many criminal defense attorneys and torts attorneys give special thanks for a holiday that can involve copious amounts of alcohol, strained family relations, over-the-hill amateur football players, “Black Friday” sale stampedes, and novice cooks. These cases are why Johnny Carson said “Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.”
Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving!
CDC Photo
For the second year in a row, 2019 saw a nationwide recall of Romaine lettuce with the danger of widespread sicknesses due to E. coli inflections. Already over 40 people have fallen ill from the lettuce linked to Salinas, California. In addition, ground beef and chicken to Cheez-Its and Whole Foods-brand gelato have been recalled. The litigation over last year’s lettuce recall has only just started due to the statute of limitations. Now, a new slew of negligence and strict liability claims are expected across the country.
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Macey’s Parade also did not disappoint with its balloon-related mishaps. The giant 67-foot Ronald McDonald balloon had problems right out of the gate. As soon as the clown began his parade, organizers noticed a 3-inch gash on his right leg. The officials had ordered that the balloons fly lower this year due to high winds and the result was that they were close to the trees. What is amazing is that the organizers said that they could not find any repair tape and decided to just continue. It was a negligent omission and a fateful one: the rip quickly enlarged and Ronald collapsed near the crowd and had to be dragged from the parade. The video shows various balloons struggling in the wind and bystanders and marchers scrambling to avoid being hit
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Worse yet, the giant Nutcracker actually assaulted a marcher in full view of the cameras. Having decided to fly the balloons despite near record winds, the Nutcracker came crashing down on a woman who was flattened by the faux soldier. One could easily make out a claim of negligence though I suspect that these marchers are given waivers to sign that are just about the same height as the inflatables.
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If you are thinking of having Thanksgiving with all of the strippings, think again. In 2019, various men went to have their traditional night at a strip club in Palm Beach. The holiday spent at The Rose Gentlemen’s Club went off the rails around 3 am when the patrons started to argue and then drew guns. One man was killed and two injured. This is precisely why most of us eat excessively and then collapse into a food coma on the couch.
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2018 Thanksgiving ended with a bang at the Lamadrid house. Jorge Luis Valencia Lamadrid, 51, got into an argument with his son over the NFL kneeling controversy. Lamadrid shot Estenban Marley Valencia, 21, after they had already started throwing patio furniture at each other. With the Trump impeachment unfolding in Washington, we will awaited similar reports of Thanksgiving dinner conversations that go terribly wrong. –after their argument led to patio furniture being flung at each other.
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A recent survey of New York doctors found that 60 percent saw an increase in ER visits for cooking wounds and turkey carving accidents. Some 47 percent saw an increase in gastrointestinal complaints from food poisoning or overeating. Some 42 percent saw an increase in burn wounds related to cooking, including deep frying of turkeys. Finally, 15 percent reported increases in orthopedic injuries from Thanksgiving-related activities, such as the annual “Turkey Bowl.”
Thanksgiving Day is generally the leading day for home cooking fires with 1,550 across the country — 230 percent above the average number of fires per day.
The cases from injuries last year are just now being filed under the statute of limitations, but it has been another bumper crop of Thanksgiving torts. In 2018, roughly a couple hundred salmonella cases were already reported before Thanksgiving morning even arrived this year.
We have yet to see a filing over the emotional distress caused by this year’s microwave Turkey prank where college kids are texting their parents to ask how long to cook their turkeys in the microwave. Some things are happily left out of the courts.
We have a slew of unwanted guests at Thanksgiving dinner cases. Last year, David Williams was arrested after he argued with his sister because she did not want the 56-year-old Williams to bring his girlfriend to Thanksgiving dinner.Williams preceded to attack his sister’s 54-year-old boyfriend with a knife after the boyfriend tried to step in and defend her. The result was Thanksgiving dinner paid for by the state with hundreds of other inmates.
That is still better than the 2018 Thanksgiving dinner where a dispute over the contribution of a crack to the meal resulted in a bizarre series of events from an assault with an antenna to a vacuum being thrown through a window to an eventual murder charge.
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There is one Good Samaritan that will hopefully have a less eventual holiday this year. A Connecticut man was thrown off a bridge on Thanksgiving last year after he intervened to protect a woman in an argument with her boyfriend. The victim and his friend told Gregory Rottjer (left) to “chill out” and allegedly Rottjer and his friend Matthew Dorso became enraged. Rottjer then threw the Good Samaritan off the Derby-Shelton Bridge — a 45 foot plunge that almost killed him. What is unbelievable is that the woman, Jennifer Hannum, was also charged in the case in resisting one of the officers who came to find her boyfriend. The Connecticut Post reported that the three fled the bridge but one of them dropped a cellphone at the scene. Rottjer allegedly admitted to police “I did it. I threw him over the bridge.” Rottjer was charged with criminal attempt at murder, first-degree assault, and first-degree reckless endangerment. Dorso was charged with third-degree assault and Hannum was charged with interfering with an officer. This is clearly a new plot twist on Luke 10:25-37.
David Williams, 56, finally resolved who will not be invited to Thanksgiving. He is clearly off the list. The Queens man in 2017 became angry about who would be invited, specifically whether his girlfriend would be included. When his sister Dianna Gadson, 66, objected, he grabbed a knife. The rest is Norman Rockwell meets Jerry Springer.
Williams allegedly got into a shouting match and then shoved Gadson, prompting her boyfriend, Silas Stewart, 54, to intervene. Williams is quoted as saying “I want you the f–k out of here” before stabbing Stewart in the chest with a kitchen knife. He then fled.———————————————————
Last year, the Kellem family started early by bagging a 30-pound wild Turkey in Indiana when it went smashing through their rental car window. Indeed, this year saw repeated warnings of aggressive wild turkeys during mating season causing accidents and injuries. The result is a horn of plenty for litigators.
Of course, some accidents have happy endings. For example, the Macy’s parade (as discussed below) has had its share of balloon accidents but last year’s parade featured Miss Piggy saving singing icon Tony Bennett from a potentially disastrous slip and fall.
Likewise, no one was hurt when a wife reportedly varnished her turkey. Her husband decided earlier to put some varnish in a container in the refrigerator. The wife proceeded to baste the turkey with it. The guests remarked on how picture perfect it looked but then discovered that beauty is only skin deep.
A combination of the criminal and civil sides of Thanksgiving can be found at the Brooklyn House of Detention. The inmates were served Thanksgiving dinner by the guards only to have 16 collapse incapacitated. Guards and jail kitchen workers are accused of deliberately tainting the carrot cake with rat poison.
The lawsuit alleges that the defendants tried to cover up the crime by getting rid of the leftovers from Thanksgiving but several samples of the defiled dessert were preserved. The inmates required stomach pumping and emergency room treatment. They are seeking $1 million for “the negligent, intentional, careless and reckless conduct” from the city, the Correction Department, the jail’s correction officers and named staff. This is going to make this year’s dinner . . . well . . . awkward.
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The 2017 cases include a Georgia company that is likely to conclude that no good deed goes unpunished. The TOYO Tire plant arranged for a catered Thanksgiving celebration over two days in White, Georgia. The result was devastating its workforce after the catered meal produced a salmonella outbreak in its ranks. Some 1,800 ate the catered meal.
The Golden Ponds restaurant in Greece, New York is still being hit with new cases in the litigation stemming from last year. Some 260 people became ill over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend after celebrating at the Golden Ponds Restaurant and Party House.
The cause was later traced to the gravy at the buffet at Golden Ponds.
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According to some reports, James Graham, 48, was upset with how much his 16-year-old nephew was eating at Thanksgiving. He response was to go up to his room, retrieve a shotgun and shoot his nephew to death. According to his brother, Graham told Freland Pridge “You know you better slow down after all that eating.” Pridge reportedly responded “My grandmother made this for me and I’m going to eat this.” That is when Graham went for his shotgun.
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Butterball is a company familiar with lawsuits that are part of producing a large share of the some 44 million turkeys sold each year for the holiday. However, Butterball this year is the plaintiff rather than the defendant in a lawsuit against an Australian company. The North Carolina-based company is suing a small wine outfit, McWilliam’s Wines, for one of its wines labeled Butterball Chardonnay. The lawsuit in North Carolina claims a violation of its trademark and that the use of “Butterball” as a mark will undermine “The consumer goodwill associated with the BUTTERBALL Marks is one of Butterball’s most valuable assets. Accordingly, the integrity of the BUTTERBALL Marks is extremely important to Butterball and crucial to the continued vitality and growth of Butterball’s business.”
Of course, no one would confuse a bottle of Chardonnay with a Turkey, but that does not seem to matter under our increasingly absurd copyright and trademark laws.
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Last year, Shawtaine Hayes, 37, was charged with aggravated assault and aggravated battery charge for threatening one woman and stabbing a man. Last Thanksgiving, Hayes stabbed a man on the morning of Thanksgiving after some holiday drinking. Her defense? She said that she “thought he was a turkey.” She also threatened another woman with a carving knife. Hayes admitted that she started early celebrating the holiday with “Four Loko” but later insisted that they man stabbed himself in his stomach and right shoulder.
On the torts side, this year saw litigation in O’Connell v Macy’s Corporate Servs., Inc., 2016 NY Slip Op 31716, in which Keri O’Connell sued the parade sponsor for injuries from the famous balloons. She was one of the handler for one of the balloons and another employee was assigned to trail the balloon handlers in an all-terrain-vehicle. She was injured while handling the Buzz Lightyear balloon when a golf cart rolled over her foot, causing a fracture. It was not Buzz that was the culprit however. Rather it was the guy in the golf cart. The Court granted summary judgment this year due to the fact that the Plaintiff “knowingly and voluntarily consented to the Release via an electronic consent as part of her online Application, and that the Plaintiff would not have been able to complete her online Application without checking off on the Release as part of said application.” In other words, she waived being run over by a golf cart.
Of course, the balloons themselves have been tortfeasors in past parades. In 1997, high winds pushed giant displays of the Pink Panther, Barney, Cat in the Hat, and others from side to side. The 43 mph winds brought down various balloons, with Barney, Pink Panther, Quik Bunny, and Cat in the Hat succumbing along the course of the parade. A police officer actually took a knife to the Pink Panther. Around 72nd street, the Cat in the Hat hit a lamppost and Maria Clohessy and Kathy Caronna both suffered head injuries during the incident. Caronna sued after spending a month in a coma after being hit by falling debris.
This year saw more Black Friday lawsuits from injuries in prior years (generally subject to a two-year statute of limitations). One such case now in court was brought by Amanda DuVall, 28. DuVall got into line on Thanksgiving evening for the Walmart sale in an effort to get a $49.99 tablet. She was one of the first in line but was knocked to the ground and stomped by other customers pushing to get a $49.99 tablet. DuVall said she waited three hours. She argued that Walmart violated the Consumer Protection Act by failing to tell customers that the store did not have enough tablets for demand — causing the stampede. She is asking for $75,000 but Walmart moved the case to federal court and is contesting the case.
While proximate causation is often cut off by the intentional torts or criminal conduct of third parties, courts have extended liability in some cases. For example, in Weirum v. RKO decision holding a radio station liable for injuries caused to a third party when teenagers drove recklessly to find The Real Don Steele in his marked van. The court held that the reckless driving was a foreseeable response of teenagers to the promise of free concert tickets. Of course, these were not teenagers but Black Friday fatalities are infamous.
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Michael Hobbins was shot after being mistaken for a wild turkey by a fellow hunter in Union County, Pennsylvania in 2010. Leroy Miller was following a turkey when he heard a noise and took the shot. He bagged Hobbins who was blinded and suffered aneurysms due to the injury.
To make matters worse, Miller is a convicted felon and is barred under state law from possession of a firearm for hunting or self-defense. Accordingly, Miller was in violation of a statute in addition to being negligent.
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Brian and Christa Caponi of Gulf Breeze Florida was not trying to bag a Turkey but raise a pet. However, her neighbor, Jacob Hayden Provo, 18, saw something more tangible: a Thanksgiving dinner. Joshua Warren Anderson, 19, and Provo used a bow and arrow to kill Tom. While the Caponi’s have 50 dogs, cats, chickens, and other animals, “Tom the Turkey” was like a dog to their family. They have been charged with armed burglary, armed trespassing, theft of livestock and animal cruelty.
The crime was captured on the surveillance system of the Caponi family. When police pulled over Provo, he allegedly lied and said he killed the bird in a nearby city. He later confessed.
These cases are difficult in torts because such pets are valued at their replacement costs rather than their sentimental value. In the eyes of the law, Tom is simply an Eastern wild turkey worth $300. To capture the pain and suffering in such acts, plaintiffs will often proceed on negligent or intentional infliction of emotional distress claims.
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Thanksgiving means one thing for personal injury lawyers: food poisoning. The problem is that the larger the case the more difficult the causation. A case in point is the aftermath of the potluck dinner this year at a Mormon church in Logandale, Nevada. Not sooner had people finished their meal that they began to run for bathrooms with vomiting and diarrhea. The food poisoning sent over a 100 people to clinics and hospitals. Officials are trying to determine what dish was responsible for the poisoning but the evidence may have been lost. In a similar case (Samson) below, the doctrine of res ipsa loquitur was applied. However, for such a large gathering with different dishes, the factual cause of the poisoning would have to be found. An alternative approach would be to pursue the Church itself for failure to supervise or monitor such food services. However, it was clearly understood that this was a potluck by those gathering at the church.
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Putting aside the food, the company at Thanksgiving can be lethal. Last year, we had the assortment of family members arrested in brawls, including a sister who stabbed her brother with a fork over Thanksgiving dinner. However, none of these cases prepared the guests at the dinner with Paul Merhige who snapped at a Thanksgiving dinner in 2009 and killed four family members. Merhige later pleaded guilty in the deaths of his 73-year-old aunt Raymonde Joseph, his cousin’s 6-year-old daughter Makayla Sitton, and his 33-year-old twin sisters Carla Merhige and Lisa Knight.
His parents were later sued by his cousins Muriel and Jimmy Sitton. The dinner was held at the Sitton house with the Merhiges and their son Paul. They alleged that the Merhiges knew that their son was unstable and hide the danger from them and the other guests. The lawsuit therefore advanced a novel negligence claim. Normally, criminal actions will cut off legal causation, though not always. In some cases, crimes have been found foreseeable. However, a court recently dismissed the case. Palm Beach County Circuit Judge Meenu Sasser ruled that the parents are not responsible for the actions of their adult children. In other words, you eat Thanksgiving dinner with adults at your own risk. While they can clearly sued Paul Merhige, he is likely judgment proof.
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We have the usual array of Thanksgiving burn cases that overwhelmingly involve deep-fried turkeys. One such case Serafino Alfe, 30, outside of Chicago who described his accident as a case where “I basically fried myself” when he was frying a turkey for an annual fundraiser and tripped right into the deep fryer. No lawsuit have been filed in such cases where negligence only injures the negligent party.
Source: Huff Post
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Also from my home town was the hospitalization of 7 people in a Thanksgiving dinner. The host used a charcoal grill inside the home and served up heaping helpings of carbon monoxide poisoning. Twenty people reported feeling sick. The case remains within the statute of limitations, but a negligence action would appear an obvious possibility (even with plaintiffs’ conduct).
Source: Pantagraph
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One fairly straightforward tort and criminal case from 2011 is from Omaha, Nebraska where Cindy Kellogg, a grandmother making Thanksgiving dinner, was shot in the arm. The man, however, can defend himself that this was accidental . . . he was aiming at the fleeing children. Her 14-year-old grandson fell fleeing the man who starting shooting at playing children for no apparent reason. Incredibly, however, there is still no record of an arrest of the man.
Source: KETV
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Brian and Christa Caponi of Gulf Breeze Florida have a potential tort claim against their Panhandle, Florida neighbor who (with a friend) used a bow and arrow to kill their pet Turkey. While the Caponi’s have 50 dogs, cats, chickens, and other animals, “Tom the Turkey” was like a dog to their family.
The two arrested teens said that they saw a 30-pound Thanksgiving dinner rather than a pet. They have been charged with armed burglary, armed trespassing, theft of livestock and animal cruelty. As we have discussed, these cases are difficult in torts because such pets are valued at their replacement costs rather than their sentimental value. To capture the pain and suffering in such acts, plaintiffs will often proceed on negligent or intentional infliction of emotional distress claims.
Source: FOX
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2011 Listing
A company in Fremont, California is facing a hostile work environment over ridiculing an employee for her celebration of Thanksgiving. Promila Awasthi, an Indian-born American citizen works at Infosys as a computer consultant, alleges that she faced a hostile work environment for celebrating Thanksgiving and was refused compensation for overtime hours worked. Infosys is a large India-based technology outsourcing company with offices in the United States. She alleges that her bosses made fun of her celebrating an “American” holiday because she is Indian and insisted that she work on Thanksgiving Day. She said that they responded to her request to celebrate Thanksgiving by calling her an “ABCD,” which stands for “American-Born Confused Desi.”
Source: Eboss
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Greenberg Smoked Turkeys, Inc. v. Goode-Cook, Inc., No. 10-621, (Complaint filed November 23, 2010, E.D. Texas)
A Texas court is looking into whether copying Turkey cooking instructions is a copyright violation.
Greenberg Smoked Turkeys has sold turkeys with some simple instructions composed of three short paragraphs. It also posted those instructions on the web. Later it found the same or similar instructions appearing on its competitor’s website for Goode-Cook. The case will turn on the “merger doctrine” and the principle that, while ideas are not copyrightable, it is possible to copyright how those ideas are expressed. Here is the challenged instructions:
Our turkeys arrive at your door ready to eat. Refrigerate immediately. The turkey will keep in the refrigerator for 6-8 days. If you do not plan to use it in that length of time, it should be frozen.
We recommend that our turkeys are eaten chilled or at room temperature — just slice and enjoy!
If heating is required, follow these instructions: place turkey in a Reynolds® Oven Bag, which can be bought at your local grocer. Do not add flour to the bag. Cut 6 to 7 small slits in the top of the bag. Heat at 300 degrees for 6 minutes per pound.
That is some pretty generic information to be placed under copyright protection, in my view.
Source:
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In Florida, a major tort action has been filed two years after a massacre at a Thanksgiving dinner where a six-year-old South Florida girl and three others were killed. The lawsuit alleges that Michael and Carole Merhige were negligent because they knew their son was planning to attend the Thanksgiving event, even though he was unstable and uninvited. It was filed by Muriel and Jim Sitton, and Antoine Joseph, whose wife was killed by Paul Merhige. The complaint alleges that his parents were aware of his violent propensity and did nothing to warn them that he would be attending their Thanksgiving dinner in 2009. It includes an alleged statement by his mother to her daughter that she hoped her son wouldn’t “come and kill us all” in advance of Thanksgiving.
There is also an intriguing claim that since Paul Merhige’s father was a former CIA agent and he had particular skills and training to prevent the massacre.
The case resembles the famous 1976 ruling in Tarasoff v. Regents of the University of California. and the imposition of liability on a university. See Tarasoff opinion. In that case, Prosinjit Podder, a graduate student at Berkeley, fell in love with Tatiana Tarasoff. When she stated that she wanted to date other men, Podder went to counseling at the University Health Service and is treated by psychologist, Dr. Lawrence Moore. When he told Moore that he wanted to get a gun and kill Tarasoff, Moore sent a letter to campus police who interviewed Podder and decided that he was not a risk. Podder then went ahead and murdered Tarasoff. Podder was found legally at fault.
Here the parents are being accused of failing to warn or act in light of Merhige’s history of emotion and mental problems. Adding to the alleged failure was the careful planning of their son who acquired 4 guns and ammunition, taking $12 thousand out of the bank, and buying a cover for his car that he used to hide it.
Source: CBS
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GEORGIA v. BARTELS AND MARSH (2010)
Our winners for the worst Thanksgiving celebration last year was the dinner held at the Georgia home of Patty Jo Marsh and her husband, who decided that the best activity after Thanksgiving dinner was to give their seven children tattoos using a home-made tattoo device.
The parents borrowed a tattoo machine from a friend and used a needle made from guitar strings to give six of their seven children tattoos after Thanksgiving. The children range in age from 10-17. The ten year old was spared the experience.
The tattoos were spotted by their biological mother when they returned home (much like the earlier Fresno case). She was not pleased and called child welfare. In Georgia, it is illegal to give tattoos to children under 18 and it is illegal to give tattoos to anyone without a license.
The couple insists that they did not know it was illegal and only gave into the demands of the kids that they wanted small cross tattoos like their own.
They have been charged with cruelty to children, reckless conduct and tattooing without a license. They also could face a lawsuit from the biological mother since the children were too young to consent to tattoos and such tattooing of children is legal in most states. Absent legally recognized consent (as opposed to actual but invalid consent of a minor) the parents can be charged with battery. They cannot use substituted consent in such a circumstance for their children in most states.
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SEILER v. JIMMY JOHN’S (2009)
A tort action in Chicago presents a somewhat novel dispute over the proper way to eat a sandwich. Mackenzie Seiler went to Jimmy John’s restaurant for a Turkey Tom sandwich. He went into anaphylactic shock after he bite into the sandwich, which turned out to be tuna and filled with cheese and mayonnaise. A person with severe allergies, he had specifically told them to hold the cheese and mayo — let alone the tuna. However, the restaurant says it was his fault for failing to properly unwrap the sandwich before biting into it.
He is now seeking more than $50,000 from Jimmy John’s after going into shock.
Seiler’s attorney, Richard Egan, insists that his client ate the sandwich in a traditional way: by peeling back one end of the wrapped sandwich and eating it like “a burrito.”
Jimmy John’s says that his eating habits are contributory negligence and that he is responsible for his three days in the hospital. The restaurant insists that a reasonable person removes the sandwich from its wrapping, inspects it, and only then bites into it. (I also tend to weigh the sandwich on an atomic scale to confirm proper weigh and measure the sandwich to guarantee that it is properly proportioned . . . but that is just me).
Once again, I do not get why the restaurant wants to fight this one. How many jurors does the restaurant think actually unwrap a sandwich completely and do an inspection before chomping down? This fight occurred because the restaurant refused to pay his hospital costs.
I am particularly interested in the experts that will be called by either side in this dispute. The EU must have a rule on this. Of course, there may be some raw regionalism in the case with the restaurant accusing Seiler of eating “like a New Yorker.” I would suggest the sandwich truck guys and the guys at the Billy Goat Grill as obvious choices for experts on sandwich tactics and customs. Of course, as shown in the case of TJ Hooper, industry custom is not always controlling, so the court could articulate a new standard for sandwich consumption.
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FLORIDA v. SMITH (2009)
Thanksgiving holidays are notorious for bringing out family stress and divisions, but know family does it quite like the Smiths of Hudson, Florida who ended up having Thanksgiving in jail over a disagreement involving the proper way to stuff a Turkey. Along the way the committed a variety of torts and crimes.
Elizabeth Smith, 21, was shocked when she woke up at 7 a.m. on Thanksgiving Day to stuff her turkey — only to find that her father-in-law Donald “Junior” Smith, 49, had beat her to it. It was not how she wanted it stuffed and, to make matters worse, he used celery which her husband Tristan Smith, 21, is allergic to. A shouting match erupted.
Junior blamed Elizabeth as incompetent and said that no one was helping him cook. Elizabeth said that she wanted to cook but no one woke her. Tristan intervened in defense of his wife. It soon turned physical as the men rolled around the house and ended up in the room of Tristan’s 3-year-old son and 5-month-old daughter.
Then Tristan’s mom, Joan Ethel Brewster, 54, grabbed Elizabeth by the hair and scratched her — pulling her hair out and causing bleeding on her face.
Joan called the police and she and Junior were arrested and booked . . . wait for it . . . at the Land O’Lakes Jail.
They were held for Thanksgiving and had dinner in jail — presumably properly prepared by others.
After the arrests, Elizabeth finished cooking the meal and held Thanksgiving for the remaining relatives. In the ultimate happy ending, she insisted that “[i]t still turned out all right.”
The result was both criminal and tort helpings of assault and battery.
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IN RE JEAN KASPER (2009)
Last year, we also had a curious product liability and negligence allegation. When Lisa Blair’s mother, Jean Kasper, died, she wanted to carry part of her mother with her. She consulted with a funeral home on the use of heart-shaped lockets for carrying the ashes. She filled identical lockets for her seven daughters and stepdaughters. She alleges that she dropped off the lockets to be sealed and tested by the funeral home.
At Thanksgiving dinner, Blair noticed that the mashed potatoes had small flecks in them, but continued to eat. After consuming most of the potatoes, she looked down and realize that her mother’s ashes had fallen into the mashed potatoes and that she had consumed them. She also discovered that the lockets on her daughters and stepdaughters had also leaked into their food.
Cresmount funeral home will not discuss the allegations. Blair could allege an assortment of torts from negligence to negligent infliction of emotional distress. If the funeral home represented that the lockets were sealed, it might be able to survive a motion to dismiss. There is also the possibility of a products claim. However, these lockets were not made for this purchase and this is not likely a case for foreseeable misuse against the manufacturer.
For the full story, click here.
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APONTE v. CASTOR
155 Ohio App. 3d 553 (2003)
Guests can bring potential liability for alleged attractive nuisances found during a Thanksgiving dinner. At least that is what Michael and Deborah Castor discovered. They invited their niece, Teresa Aponte and her daugher Erica (age 7) to share a Thanksgiving feast. According to the court, “[f]ollowing dinner, accompanied by her cousin, Erica went outside and crawled under/through an electric wire fence that enclosed appellees’ horse paddock area. Erica was subsequently kicked in the face by appellees’ horse, sustaining injury.”
The niece sued her uncle and aunt. The question was Erica’s status as trespasser or an invitee. The case also explored the meaning of an attractive nuisance.
The court held as follows:
In this case, it is undisputed that Erica was invited over for Thanksgiving dinner and that she did not obtain permission from appellees or any other adult to exit the house or visit the horse penned in the paddock. Moreover, it is uncontested that Erica was never permitted by appellees to roam freely in “any part of the subject property without both parental supervision and permission.” Upon a thorough review of the record, and finding no genuine issues of material fact, we find that Erica was only invited to appellees’ home for Thanksgiving dinner and was not invited to freely explore the property. Accordingly, we find that once Erica left the house and entered the horse paddock area, she exceeded the scope of appellees’ invitation and became a trespasser or a licensee on appellees’ property.
Normally, a landowner would only owe a trespasser or licensee the duty to refrain from wanton, willful or reckless conduct which is likely to injure the licensee or trespasser. . . .However, the Ohio Supreme Court has held that the amount of care required of a landowner to discharge a duty owed to a child of tender years, who is exposed to danger on the landowner’s property, is greater than that required to discharge a duty to an adult exposed to the same danger. Di Gildo v. Caponi (1969), 18 Ohio St. 2d 125, 47 Ohio Op. 2d 282, 247 N.E.2d 732, paragraph one of the syllabus; and Bennett v. Stanley (2001), 92 Ohio St.3d 35, 39, 2001 Ohio 128, 748 N.E.2d 41. The rationale for this rule is that HN7″‘Children of tender years, and youthful persons generally, are entitled to a degree of care proportioned to their inability to foresee and avoid the perils that they may encounter ***. The same discernment and foresight in discovering defects and dangers cannot be reasonably expected of them, that older and experienced persons habitually employ; and therefore, the greater precaution should be taken, where children are exposed to them.’” Di Gildo at 127, citing 39 Ohio Jurisprudence 2d 512, Negligence, Section 21. “Even child trespassers are accorded special protection in Ohio tort law.” Bennett, 92 Ohio St.3d at 40.
In recognizing that “children are entitled to a greater level of protection than adults,” the Ohio Supreme Court in Bennett adopted the attractive nuisance doctrine, contained in Restatement of the Law 2d, Torts (1965), Section 339 . Bennett set forth
the attractive nuisance doctrine as follows:
“A possessor of land is subject to liability for physical harm to children trespassing thereon caused by an artificial condition upon the land if:
“(a) the place where the condition exists is one upon which the possessor knows or has reason to know that children are likely to trespass, and
“(b) the condition is one of which the possessor knows or has reason to know and which he realizes or should realize will involve an unreasonable risk of death or serious bodily harm to such children, and
“(c) the children because of their youth do not discover the condition or realize the risk involved in intermeddling with it or in coming within the area made dangerous by it, and
“(d) the utility to the possessor of maintaining the condition and the burden of eliminating the danger are slight as compared with the risk to children involved, and
“(e) the possessor fails to exercise reasonable care to eliminate the danger or to otherwise protect the children.”
In determining a landowner’s duty to a child, Bennett held that “whether an apparatus or a condition of property is involved, the key element should be whether there is a foreseeable, ‘unreasonable risk of death or serious bodily harm to *** children.’” Id. at 42, citing Restatement, Section 339(b). However, “even when a landowner is found to have an attractive nuisance on his or her land, the landowner is left merely with the burden of acting with ordinary care” and “does not automatically become liable for any injury a child trespasser may suffer on that land.” Id.
. . . Appellant argues that appellees’ horse created an attractive nuisance and, as such, appellees owed Erica the duty of ordinary care. We, however, find no authority in Ohio law which establishes that an animal is “an artificial condition” which invokes the doctrine of attractive nuisance. Accordingly, we find that the attractive nuisance doctrine is not applicable in this case. Nevertheless, based upon the holdings and rationale in Bennett and Di Gildo, we find that “children of tender years, and youthful persons” are generally entitled to a degree of care commensurate with their inability to foresee and avoid dangers, even when trespassing.
In considering whether appellees breached their duty to Erica, we must first consider whether it was foreseeable to appellees that Erica would trespass into the horse paddock area while on their property. Appellant argues that it was foreseeable that Erica, a child guest at Thanksgiving dinner, would wander out to the horse paddock. We, however, find that the undisputed evidence is to the contrary.
First, neither on the day in question, nor during earlier visits, was Erica ever given unfettered access to appellees’ property; rather, permission and adult supervision was required. Second, at no time was any child guest allowed “to roam freely around the subject property or enter the area in or around the horse paddock area.” Third, according to Mr. Castor, on previous visits to the property, Erica “never unilaterally left the house or entered the area in or around the horse paddock area.” Fourth, the horse was enclosed with an electrified wire fence, which, according to Erica, she was warned to avoid. Based on these undisputed facts, we find that it was not foreseeable to appellees that Erica would trespass upon their property into the area of the horse paddock.
Assuming arguendo that a genuine issue of material fact exists regarding whether it was foreseeable to appellees that Erica would trespass into the horse paddock, we note that the degree of care owed by appellees only would have to be proportionate to Erica’s inability to foresee and avoid the perils that she may encounter and, in no event, would appellees’ duty to Erica extend to dangerous conditions that were obvious and realized by her. See Bennett, supra at 43.
In this case, it is clear that Erica had an appreciation that horses presented a risk to her. Erica testified that she had been told “never to go behind a horse”; she knew that she was not allowed to be around horses, appellees’ horse, or in the corral, without a parent or adult supervision; and that, although she did not remember anyone ever telling her specifically not to go into the corral, she was “pretty sure that *** [appellees] thought that [she] had the common sense not to go there” and that “they knew that if [she] were going to that [she] would ask for an adult to come with [her].”
Appellant, however, argues that appellees should have warned Erica and her parents regarding this horse’s history of aggressive behavior toward a sheep that entered its enclosure. However, based on Erica’s own testimony, we find that she knew horses presented a risk, that she was not to go near the electric fence, and that an adult was supposed to accompany her around horses. Accordingly, we find that the potential danger any horse posed to Erica was both known and obvious to her. We therefore find that appellees owed no duty to Erica or her parents to provide additional warnings regarding this horse in particular.
Based on the foregoing, we find that there are no genuine issues of material fact and that appellees are entitled to summary judgment as a matter of law. Erica was a trespasser on appellees’ property and, therefore, appellees were only required to refrain from willful, wanton and reckless conduct. However, to the extent that Erica’s age would entitle her to a greater degree of care than that normally afforded a trespasser, we find that appellees breached no duty to Erica insofar as she fully realized the obvious risk that horses presented, and proceeded at her own peril. Accordingly, we find appellant’s first and second assignments of error not well-taken.
On consideration whereof, the court finds substantial justice has been done the party complaining and the judgment of the Williams County Court of Common Pleas is affirmed. Appellant is ordered to pay the court costs of this appeal.
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DENNIS V. DENNIS
2001 Del. Super. LEXIS 11 (2001)
The Dennis case shows why a good lawyer requires relatives to sign waiver forms before the start of any holiday. Here are the facts from the case:
FACTS
On November 16, 1998, Plaintiff [*2] Crystal Dennis (“Crystal”) and her thirteen-month-old son, Velvin Morgan, Jr. (“Velvin”)(collectively, the “Plaintiffs”) went to the home of Mr. Dennis, who is Crystal’s father and Velvin’s grandfather. Defendant Stephanie Dennis (“Stephanie”), who is Crystal’s sister, was also present at her father’s home. The sisters had gathered at Mr. Dennis’s residence in order to clean it for Thanksgiving dinner. While the daughters were cleaning, Mr. Dennis babysat Velvin. While all three adults and Velvin were in the kitchen prior to eating breakfast, Stephanie warmed water in the microwave for hot tea. She took the cup out of the microwave and placed it on the counter. Velvin, who was sitting on his grandfather’s lap, got up and walked over to the counter, reached up and poured the scolding water on himself. As a result, he sustained first and second degree burns on his neck and chest. The Plaintiffs filed suit against Mr. Dennis and Stephanie (collectively the “Defendants”), alleging that the Defendants’ negligence was the proximate cause of Velvin’s injuries.
The issue was whether the daughters could claim to be business invitees in coming their father’s house — in order to get around the state’s Guest Statute. The Delaware Guest Statute, 25 Del. C. § 1501, provides:
No person who enters onto private residential or farm premises owned or occupied by another person, either as a guest without payment or as a trespasser, shall have a cause of action against the owner or occupier of such premises for any injuries or damages sustained by such person while on the premises unless such accident was intentional on the part of the owner or occupier or was caused [*4] by the wilful or wanton disregard of the rights of others.
The daughters, however, claimed that “since Crystal would have been unable to perform the cleaning [*6] services for her father unless she could bring Velvin with her and have Mr. Dennis babysit him, he has received a benefit. Further, the Plaintiffs assert that Crystal was a business invitee 10 and that status should be imputed onto Velvin.”
Outcome: The Court was not convinced and found the lawsuit against the father to be properly dismissed.
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SAMSON v. REISING
62 Wis. 2d 698 (1974)
The underlying facts show that on Tuesday, February 6, 1968, Pearl Samson attended a luncheon, which was put on by the Wauwatosa High School Band Mothers Association (an organization organized to give support to the high school band) at the Wauwatosa Trinity Episcopal Church. Pearl Samson paid $ 1.25 and ate a luncheon consisting of turkey salad and dessert. On Wednesday evening she became nauseated. She was unable to work on Thursday and Friday.
The symptoms subsided, and she returned to work on Monday, February 12th. A few days later, however, she again was obliged to miss work because of her illness. After these symptoms recurred every few days, she visited her doctor, who was unable to help her, and in the nine-month period following the luncheon she lost 22 pounds and periodically suffered from diarrhea, vomiting, cramps, and stomach pain. Eventually she was referred to a specialist, who determined that Pearl Samson’s condition was the result of salmonella food poisoning and that, as a consequence, she suffered a deficiency of the lactase enzyme in her intestinal tract.
This enzyme is necessary to properly digest foods with a lactose base, such as milk and dairy products. She claims that her illness recurs whenever she ingests foods which contain milk products. There was testimony that she found it impossible to be sure that the food she ate contained no such products and that she became severely ill sometimes twice a month. Her physician testified that this condition is permanent.
There is evidence that the turkey salad eaten at the luncheon was contaminated with salmonella bacteria. Dorothy G. Wood, one of the defendants, testified that she had taken some of the leftover salad home for her family to eat. Her family ate some of that salad and had no ill effects. When she received reports that some of the guests at the luncheon had become ill, she notified the chief sanitarian of the Wauwatosa Health Department. He submitted the sample of the remaining salad to the Milwaukee Food Laboratory. The report from the laboratory indicated the presence of the salmonella bacteria.
There was testimony by Dorothy G. Wood that she and Marjorie E. Borror were co-chairmen in charge of the luncheon, that approximately a month before the luncheon they purchased nine frozen turkeys from Kohl’s and had them stored in Kohl’s freezer until they were needed. Before the date of the luncheon, Dorothy Wood picked up the frozen turkeys and delivered them to other members of the luncheon committee. She named eight members of the committee to whom she delivered the turkeys to be cooked in their own homes. She stated that she delivered the turkeys to Margarette H. Hoffman, Charlotte G. Soleski, Violet E. Gullicksen, Betty Randa, Grace A. Kerler, Marjorie E. Borror, Ruth E. Johnson, Jane Frances, and one other. Each of these persons are defendants in the instant lawsuit. In addition, Audrey Riesing and Phillis Gill, together with Dorothy Wood, are named as defendants.
Dorothy Wood stated that she did not cook a turkey, but that nine ladies, one of whom she could not name, cooked them sometime between the day she delivered the turkeys and the afternoon of February 5, 1968, when the ladies brought the cooked turkeys to the Trinity Episcopal Church kitchen. The turkey salad was prepared in the Trinity Episcopal Church kitchen.
After the salad was prepared, it was taken to a refrigerator located at the Methodist Church. The turkey salad was returned to the Trinity Episcopal Church at 10 a. m. on Tuesday, February 6th. The salad received no refrigeration from the time it was taken from the Methodist Church. Prior to the time of serving, the turkey salad was held in large containers, which had been obtained from the Methodist Church. Dorothy Wood testified that the church kitchen in which the salad was prepared was “clean.”
At trial, Joseph D. Gorski, the chief sanitarian for the Wauwatosa Health Department, testified that salmonella is a bacteria common to the intestinal tracts of fowl. He said that food containing salmonella bacteria can be rendered safe for eating by exposure to heat and that a meat temperature of 146 degrees Fahrenheit for thirty minutes or 161 degrees for thirty seconds would kill the organism. Properly cooking a turkey would render it free from salmonella bacteria.
However, even though a turkey were properly cooked, it could be contaminated if it came in contact with utensils or other objects which touched the raw contaminated turkey. Gary V. Doern, a bacteriologist, also testified that some individuals are unknowing carriers of the salmonella bacteria and can contaminate food products by touching them.
. . . In this case nine turkeys were cooked, each by one of nine defendants, but not all of the 11 defendants cooked the turkeys. It does appear, however, that all of them participated in the preparation of the salad.
Outcome: This case ultimately turned on the court’s interpretation of the doctrine of res ipsa loquitur used to prove such cases with a paucity of proof. The doctrine requires “(1) The event or accident in question be of the kind which does not ordinarily occur in the absence of someone’s negligence; and (2) the agency or instrumentality causing the harm must have been within the exclusive control of the defendant.”
The court found that first criteria satisfied but ruled that it failed on the second criteria of exclusive control. They could not prove which of the band mother’s Turkeys was the culprit so all of the band mothers walked.
Jonathan Turley
Turkey Torts (2019) published first on https://immigrationlawyerto.tumblr.com/
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New top story from Time: A Year in the Life of a Migrant Child in Texas, Separated From His Guatemalan Parents After Deportation Order
(BUDA, Texas) — There were water balloons at Byron Xol’s birthday party — bunches of them, filled a dozen at a time. He squeezed them with both hands, until the water burst on his face and chest. “Super good!” the 9-year-old yelled, again and again.
It’s a new catchphrase, but then, Byron spoke no English at all 15 months ago. (His first language is Q’eqchi, one of several dialects that trace back to Mayan times.) It was then that he was packed in a wooden crate by smugglers and shipped from Guatemala to the U.S., only to be grabbed immediately by border agents and ripped away from his father.
His dad was deported. Byron remained, locked away with the thousands of children separated from their parents at the U.S.-Mexico border by the Trump administration. More than a year after the practice ended, a small number of children like Byron remain in limbo, far from their families.
The boy spent his ninth birthday in central Texas, with a host family devoted to giving him a loving home. For weeks they’d planned this day: the party in their leafy, suburban backyard, the grilled sausages, the rainbow-colored cakes, the water balloons.
His parents, meanwhile, passed the day a thousand miles away, in the gang-ridden forests Byron and his father had tried to escape. They have not seen their child in more than a year.
But they have hope. A federal judge could soon decide whether to let the father return to the U.S. If he rejects the motion, Byron may be sent home to Guatemala. So much hangs in the balance. “I think I’m going to go with you, or you’re going to come here,” the boy told his father, David, when they spoke on his birthday. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to me.”
David J. Phillip—APHolly Sewell carries Byron Xol, an immigrant from Guatemala, during his birthday party Sunday, June 23, 2019, in Buda, Texas.
Back home in Guatemala, Byron always asked his parents if it was his birthday, no matter whether June 24 was a week or several months away. “We’d tell him how many days were left,” his father said, smiling.
When the day arrived, David Xol would buy a small cake — a “pastelito” — for Byron to share with his two younger brothers. Then, between 10 p.m. and 11 p.m., they would gather to pray during the hour that Byron was born, to give thanks that God blessed them with their first son.
San Miguel el Limón is a day’s drive away from the capital on narrow, winding roads. Most people are subsistence farmers or laborers. The village itself consists of around 100 small homes, most built of wood. There’s a one-story school and several evangelical churches, sanctuaries of a faith spread through Guatemala in part by American missionaries in the 1970s.
David, 27, worked a series of jobs as a laborer. He and his wife Florinda, 23, raised Byron and his brothers in their two-room, cinderblock-and-wood home. The parents slept in one bed; the brothers slept in another.
They went to church almost every day. David says he preached the word of God, just as his father did. His preaching caught the notice of gangsters who tried to recruit him; when he refused, citing his faith’s prohibition of violence, they threatened David and his eldest son, he says.
On May 4, 2018, David and Byron left San Miguel to seek asylum in the United States. Like tens of thousands of Guatemalans who have fled north, David hired a human smuggler, or “coyote,” for 45,000 Guatemalan quetzals, or about $6,000. He borrowed the money.
They were smuggled through Mexico by truck in a wooden crate. In the middle of the night, the coyote sent them and about 20 other migrants across the Rio Grande, the river that separates the U.S. and Mexico. The Border Patrol was waiting on the other side.
They were taken to the central processing center, a converted warehouse where hundreds of adults and children were detained in large cages of chain-link fencing. David was charged with illegal entry on May 19, the day after they were detained.
Two days later, an officer at the warehouse escorted him into a private room and presented him with a document he couldn’t read. If he signed it, the officer said, he could be deported with Byron. David refused.
A second officer entered. David says he was told that if he tried to seek asylum, the two would be separated. David would be detained for at least two years, while Byron would be given up for adoption. Their only option was to sign the document and be deported together.
He signed, renouncing his asylum claim. He didn’t know the document would allow the agents to take his son away. As soon as he signed the document, he says, Byron was taken away from him.
Seven days later, he was deported.
Santiago Billy—APDavid Xol sits in his one-bedroom home in San Miguel El Limon, 475 kilometers (295 miles) away from Guatemala City, on Sunday, June, 23, 2019.
David returned to San Miguel el Limón. Florinda screamed when she saw him arrive alone. Months later, he recounted the last words he exchanged with Byron in the processing center. “If I don’t return to see you, remember that I am your father,” he says he told Byron.
“He told me, ‘It’s OK, Dad. Don’t worry. I’m going to be OK.'”
Byron was sent to an old elementary school just outside Houston that had been converted to house 160 children. Operated by the nonprofit Baptist Child and Family Services, the facility had beds, common areas, classes, phones to call family and lawyers, and three meals a day. Byron was given weekly phone calls home. He cried during the first several weeks and begged his parents to bring him back to San Miguel. At times, he angrily refused to speak to his father.
More than a month after he was placed in the facility, on June 26, 2018, a judge ordered the Trump administration to stop separating families and reunite parents and children. Judge Dana Sabraw’s order required children under 5 years old to be returned to their parents in 14 days, and every other child to be returned within 30.
Children and parents began to be re-united in detention facilities, then released. But by the time Sabraw issued his order, more than 400 parents had already been deported without their children, including David. The parents faced a choice: Should they request that their children be returned to them in places they had fled? Or should they keep their children in the U.S., waiting in facilities until a relative could sponsor them?
The Xol family had no relatives or friends in the U.S. who could take Byron. With no potential sponsors, Byron could be detained indefinitely.
But David’s life back in Guatemala was troubled. He found work chopping trees at a palm oil plant an hour’s drive away. Otherwise, he stayed at home as much as possible. He knew the gang members were still out there. Other men in San Miguel questioned how he could have come home without his son and mocked him as a crybaby when he teared up about Byron.
Santiago Billy—APFlorinda Xol , sits with one of her sons, Alan, 3, in their one-bedroom home in San Miguel El Limon, approximately 475 kilometers from Guatemala City, on Sunday, June, 23, 2019.
The debt he had undertaken to pay the coyote has grown from $6,000 to $8,000. His monthly salary at the palm oil plant is about $400. His payments on the debt take up almost all of that. To pay for food, he worked extra hours. He sold his cellphone to help pay for the debt. His hopes were flagging. But then he met Ricardo de Anda, a human rights lawyer who would eventually bring David’s case to the American Civil Liberties Union.
Alerted to the Xols’ case by news coverage, de Anda went to Guatemala to discuss an option: David should petition to return to the United States, while Byron remained there.
While de Anda had brought other children back to their parents in Central America, both he and David agreed that Byron would be in danger if he returned to Guatemala. And de Anda believed David had a strong case for asylum due to religious persecution — a case he says border agents wrongly made David drop. But Byron had to stay in the United States while the case went forward.
“Byron was the key,” de Anda said. “If Byron had been repatriated, there would have been no basis, no standing, for either of them to come back.” David agreed. Byron would stay.
De Anda visited the boy, first in the suburban Houston facility where he was initially taken, then at two of the three others where he was transferred. He could tell Byron was picking up Spanish from the other boys in detention. They could speak more easily about the case.
De Anda described seeing children become depressed and unresponsive after months of detention, but Byron “wasn’t overwhelmed by his experience. His curiosity never seemed to be dampened.”
The process of applying for David to re-enter the U.S. would take months. De Anda needed to find another place for Byron to live in the meantime. Through other lawyers, he found a family.
Matthew and Holly Sewell live in a spacious, five-bedroom house near Austin, Texas. Matthew, 49, works as a software engineer; Holly, 41, stays at home with their children, 6-year-old Desmond and 5-year-old Windy.
David J. Phillip—APByron Xol and Windy Sewell, right, watch her brother, Desmond Sewell, play an electronic game Monday, June 24, 2019, in Buda, Texas.
Watching the news last summer, they heard that children were being detained after their parents had been deported. And they thought: Why not provide a real home for at least one child? “The conversation we had is, somebody needs to do it,” Matthew said. “If not us, who?”
De Anda connected the Sewells to Byron and his family. After months of phone conversations, David and Florinda Xol said Byron could live with the Sewells while David’s case moved forward. Though David and Florinda approved, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services refused several requests from the Sewells to sponsor Byron because they weren’t related to him and had no prior relationship with his family.
HHS argues those rules are necessary to protect children. De Anda and the Sewells claimed the department was detaining Byron for no reason. De Anda sued HHS in February. A federal judge in April ordered HHS to consider the Sewells as sponsors.
The Sewells got the call: Byron was being flown to Austin, and they needed to bring a wheelchair. A few weeks earlier, they had been told, Byron had broken his right leg playing soccer. They brought him home. The Sewells had hung a banner above the bed in the downstairs guest room: “Bienvenido Byron.”
Holly Sewell requested medical records from the facility that she shared with The Associated Press. They show that Byron’s thigh fracture was misdiagnosed at one point as a broken ankle.
Several days had passed after the injury before Byron was placed in a full cast. And the break was on Byron’s growth plate, the soft area in his leg that had not yet hardened to bone. If not treated properly, the break could stunt his growth. BCFS, the nonprofit that ran the facility, says it’s confident that Byron received appropriate medical care.
The Sewells took him to a doctor specializing in pediatric foot injuries and enrolled him in physical therapy. According to the Sewells, the government took the position that sponsors must care for the children they’re sheltering. The family paid for doctor’s appointments out of pocket before Matthew Sewell’s employer agreed to re-open its insurance contract so that Byron could be covered.
As he recovered, the Sewells started to see more of his personality — his wide smile, his sense of humor — and his ability to adapt. He loves to yell commands at Alexa, the digital assistant in their kitchen, in a mix of the languages he’s picked up over time: Q’eqchi, Spanish, and English. When the assistant doesn’t respond, he yells, over and over: “Hey Alexa!”
At the beginning, they relied on Google’s translation app. Holly or Matthew would ask a question in English and wait for the Spanish translation to be read out so Byron could respond.
Soon, they didn’t need to use the app for most conversations as Byron started to pick up more English. The sticky notes they had placed all over the house with English and Spanish translations — the door, the microwave, the bathroom — were rarely necessary. He plays easily with Windy, their gregarious younger daughter. And while he and Desmond sometimes fight, the two boys learned to get along and play cooperatively — to throw the ball to each other and not at each other.
But they’ve also seen signs of what he’s been through. He told the Sewells about his nightmares. In one, monsters tried to put him in a cage. In another, he was reunited with his parents, but they didn’t look like his parents anymore.
Once, when the children were playing, Holly saw Byron grab Desmond by the neck. She took him aside and asked him where he had learned to play that way. An older boy in detention used to grab him that way, he said.
For 11 months in government facilities, staffers watching Byron weren’t allowed to hug him. At his birthday party, he ran up to Holly several times for an embrace or to ride on her back. “I say, ‘Do you need a hug,’ and the answer is always yes,” Holly said.
They’ve made sure Byron stays in touch with his family. They call Byron’s parents several times a week. On the bottom bunk where he sleeps below Desmond, Byron has photos of his parents and two brothers taped to the wall. “We have to make sure they know: We’re not trying to adopt,” Matthew says. “We’re not trying to take.”
After the kids went to bed one night, they sat in their living room and talked. What would happen if David wasn’t allowed back into the United States and Byron had to return to Guatemala? How would he adjust? How would they and their children adjust? Would they ever see him again? Holly starts to cry.
“[If] we know nothing about it other than they’re safe? That’s fine. That’s perfectly fine. We still were able to provide a place for him.”
Santiago Billy—APDavid Xol, talks with his son, Byron, over a video call from his home in San Miguel El Limon on June, 23, 2019. Fourteen months earlier, Byron was packed in a wooden crate by smugglers and shipped from Guatemala to the U.S., only to be grabbed immediately by border agents and ripped away from his father.
When his sons ask David when their brother was coming home, his answer is always the same, optimistic but indefinite. “Pronto,” he says. Soon. But everything hinges on the judge’s decision.
David is one of 21 parents included in the American Civil Liberties Union’s motion that they be allowed to re-enter the country and seek asylum. The ACLU argues that David and the others were denied a fair chance to request asylum, which would have allowed them to live and work in the U.S. under protections for refugees fleeing political or religious repression.
The government argues that the settlement between the government and the ACLU that paved the way for reunifications doesn’t guarantee that families be reunified in America. If David and other parents want to be with their children, the government says, they should agree to have those children returned to them.
If the ACLU wins, David could be in the U.S. in a matter of weeks. He could eventually petition for the admission of Florinda and their other two children. If it loses, Byron will most likely return to Guatemala and all its dangers.
Several weeks ago, David sent the recording of a song to Holly. She played it for Byron. “Donde quiera que estés, donde quiera que vayas, por favor, te lo pido que regreses a mi lado, nuestro niño perdido, porque solo un milagro nos lo devolverá,” the song goes.
It translates: “Wherever you are, wherever you go, I ask you to please return to my side, our lost son, because only a miracle will bring you back to us.”
via https://cutslicedanddiced.wordpress.com/2018/01/24/how-to-prevent-food-from-going-to-waste
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What Happens When an Artwork Is Damaged Beyond Repair
Promotional image for “No Longer Art: Salvage Art Institute” at Museo de Arte de Zapopan, Mexico, 2019. Courtesy of MAZ.
On December 24, 2008, one of Jeff Koons’s famed balloon animals—an edition featuring a 10-inch-long red dog—fell and broke into several pieces. Five months later, after examining the sculpture and assessing the damage, insurance company AXA Art determined that it would cost more to repair than the sculpture was worth. AXA paid the owner the insurance premium, declaring the work a “total loss.” The pieces of the broken balloon dog were transported to a large AXA warehouse, where the dog joined hundreds of other “totalled” artworks.
In May 2009, the same month Koons’s sculpture officially exited the art market, New York–based artist Elka Krajewska was talking with her neighbor Rosalind Joseph, who works at AXA in public relations, about these warehouses for so-called “salvage art.” Krajewska was intrigued by the concept of what was once considered a work of art being demoted to an object with no value beyond its materials. In response, she came up with the idea for a museum of salvaged art, a place where these totalled former artworks could find new life in the conversations and philosophical questions they spark: What defines an artwork? How do we determine its inherent value? Is there such a thing as objective value?
Installation view of “No Longer Art: Salvage Art Institute”at Museo de Arte de Zapopan, Mexico, 2018. Courtesy of SAI.
Over the next three years, Krajewska registered her Salvage Art Institute (SAI), met with people at AXA, visited their warehouse, and—in concert with Columbia University’s Graduate School of Architecture, Planning, and Preservation—was able to secure a gift of about 40 damaged pieces for the institute’s collection. In late 2012, SAI opened its first exhibition, “No Longer Art,” at Columbia’s Arthur Ross Gallery, featuring its recently acquired collection of totaled art. Among the works were a water-damaged Giacometti drawing, a torn painting by Alexandre Dubuisson, and Koons’s broken balloon dog.
Although Krajewska is an artist, she thinks of SAI more as an educational tool or a means to spark discussion, as opposed to an art project. She said the value of displaying salvage art is the conversation. “It opens up your head and your understanding of what art can be and how we feel about it.”
Matthew Wagstaffe, Krajewska’s long-time assistant, concurred. “These things lie at the intersection of so many areas of expertise,” he said. The liminal status of these damaged works draws interest not only from the art and insurance worlds, but also the wider realms of law, economics, sociology, philosophy, and even literature. (In Ben Lerner’s 2014 novel, 10:04, there’s an “Institute for Totaled Art,” inspired by SAI.) Wagstaffe added that there’s a “strangeness in the objects,” as well as a “degree of accessibility to them,” despite the verbose insurance claims governing their status.
Non-art on tour
Visitors at “No Longer Art: Salvage Art Institute” at Museo de Arte de Zapopan, Mexico, 2018. Courtesy of SAI.
Ever since SAI’s first exhibition, the collection has been touring the world. Each exhibition is different, but they all have a few things in common: Visitors are encouraged to interact with and touch the objects; each object is displayed on a moving cart, so people can rearrange the exhibition space as they please; and if they want to find out more about the individual objects, visitors can flip through binders of redacted insurance claim documents tracing damage, declarations of total loss, and transfers of ownership.
At SAI’s most recent exhibition, at Mexico’s Museo de Arte de Zapopan, Wagstaffe said museum security “had trouble with the fact that viewers had to touch and engage with the art. It goes against the basic rule of a museum.”
“I picked up the Koons, and suddenly I was surrounded by security telling me to put it down,” Krajewska remembered. The guards called the museum’s director, which sparked a discussion of the meaning of the exhibition. Krajewska loved it. “There’s a playfulness around the concept of what we value,” she said. Ultimately, Krajewska and the security officers compromised: Visitors could touch the art, but they had to ask a guard for permission first.
Visitors at “No Longer Art: Salvage Art Institute” at Museo de Arte de Zapopan, Mexico, 2019. Courtesy of MAZ.
It’s not just museum guards who are uneasy about SAI’s collection, watching as visitors smudge a drawing with their fingers or put their hands through a hole in a painting. The shippers also worry. “Shipping is a tricky endeavor,” Wagstaffe said. “There’s a fear that when you re-engage, you bring back that value, so there’s never insurance on the shipment. You remove something from having monetary value and, at every turn, people are trying to bring it back into that.”
At every step, Krajewska and Wagstaffe are diligent to not let any object in SAI’s collection gain value. It’s one of SAI’s nine policies, which collectively read as a kind of manifesto. The first policy is akin to a mission statement: “SAI is a haven for all art officially declared as total loss, removed from art market circulation and liberated from the obligation of perpetual valuation and exchangeability.” An important part of this liberation is the removal of the artist’s name from the object. (An artist’s signature creates value, after all.)
The seventh policy mandates: “The signature of the adjuster meets and cancels the signature of the artist.” In a further effort to liberate its damaged works, when SAI displays its collection, the pieces’ titles list their object number, materials, history of damage, and former artist and title—for example, SAI 0015: materials: aluminum, porcelain; size: 10” x10” x 3”; damage: 12/24/2008, shattered in fall; claim: 05/11/2009; total loss: 05/20/2009; production: 1995; artist: Jeff Koons; title: Red Balloon Dog, Ed. 51/66.
Embracing change and chance
Installation view of “No Longer Art: Salvage Art Institute” at Museo de Arte de Zapopan, Mexico, 2019. Courtesy of MAZ.
Inevitably, pieces in the SAI collection undergo further damage, and Krajewska loves how they change over time. The collection includes a diptych drawing made with gunpowder that people tend to smudge with their fingers while handling; when they touch another object afterward, they leave gunpowder fingerprints behind. These kinds of acts connect viewers to the objects, but also tie the objects to one another in a very unique way. Krajewska documents these further degradations in extensive reports on individual objects she keeps in her studio. She sees them as living objects, and her documentation is a history of their lives.
Amid all the meticulous documentation of SAI’s activities and collection, there’s an equally strong element of chance to the project. Krajewska is the first to admit that SAI was formed under extremely serendipitous circumstances: the neighbor who happened to work at AXA; AXA CEO Christiane Fischer’s improbable enthusiasm for the project; Columbia University’s initial willingness to support it. The chance encounters didn’t stop there. Ben Lerner wrote about a fictionalized SAI because Krajewska liked how he described art in his first novel, Leaving the Atocha Station (2011), and called him out of the blue to talk about her new project. Wagstaffe met Krajewska because a friend of his had a studio next to hers. Most of SAI’s travelling shows are the result of curators asking to borrow certain objects or the whole collection. And, at the root of the institute, there’s the randomness of how objects get damaged in the first place.
There’s more chance in SAI’s immediate future: In May, Columbia told Krajewska that the SAI collection would have to move out of their storage space before the end of the year, so Krajewska and Wagstaffe are looking into other options—including a dream of transferring everything to permanent display on a houseboat. Krajewska is an avid sailor, so the problems of both storage and shipping would be solved in one fell swoop. Plus, as Wagstaffe pointed out, “marine insurance marked the early days of insurance, and sailing through international waters means even more liberation for the collection.”
Over time, Wagstaffe has become fascinated with the very idea of insurance, which seeks to anticipate that which can’t be foreseen. “We’re up against things that exceed our ability to change them,” he said. “There’s a strangeness in humans trying to deal with disaster in this very dry language.”
New values
Last fall, Krajewska was preparing SAI’s collection for shipment to Mexico when she came across an unopened box from the original 2012 shipment of works from the AXA warehouse. Inside she found a large, gold pendant with an etching of a bearded face and a large dent suffered in apparent fall. The signature was still legible: “Picasso.”
Around the same time, Therese Patricia Okoumou—the woman who climbed the Statue of Liberty on July 4, 2018, in protest of the separation of migrant families at the U.S.–Mexico border—was found guilty of committing federal crimes. As Okoumou was preparing for her sentencing, Krajewska was working on a special SAI project she said would “allow young students preparing for college in the humanities to interact with our inventory on their own terms,” she said. “Patricia seemed a perfect community liaison for that program.” When Krajewska learned the judge might be more lenient in sentencing Okoumou if she had an employment opportunity lined up, she swiftly wrote up a job offer letter to present to her prior to sentencing.
Krajewska showed up to federal court last March for Okoumou’s sentencing wearing the Picasso pendant around her neck as a kind of good-luck charm. Okoumou avoided jail time and was let off with probation. For Krajewska, the episode showed the pendant had taken on new “cultural value.” After all, it hasn’t been a “real” Picasso in years.
from Artsy News
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Why The Kohinoor is Historically and Morally Indian
This is the fifth time that the Kohinoor Diamond is being mentioned officially on the international grapevines rather than lone Indians remarking upon it half-heartedly. Needless to say, the issue has split mindsets from within India, Indian-origins and Indians as well as the mildly irrelevant opinions of those without. Honestly, I’d been waiting eagerly for this international incident to happen, as perversely dramatic as it sounds. The greasy, smooth-sailing relationship between Britain and India these days often means that the former are not slyly pinched in remembrance of their colonial past, whilst white Americans are pinched all the time for similar reasons.
naughty conquerors! one more time you enslave a race you'll go to bed with no diamonds!!!
The reasons we’ve failed to ask for it as often as we deserve to are plentiful. The current Indian government states that Nehru, whilst initially asking for the return, had said later it was not worth it as it would only irritate the already sensitive British-Indian relationship (more on this later). Another remains that the British response to any question relating to the return of stolen goods or colonial reparations has always been “nope.” In 2013, David Cameron spoke possibly the most decisive words he has uttered in a decade and said “it is going to have to stay put.” Eloquent.
Why does it matter?
This has been the question I’d been faced with the most from almost every angle. English, Indian, and American. Why does the Kohinoor matter, since its exchange had happened over a hundred and fifty years ago? The wise, wise fellows who take the trouble of a Google search also informed us pompously that the actual value of the Kohinoor was only around 200 million USD, which when compared to the ballooning value of the Indian GDP is merely a blow into the balloon from a pair of asthmatic lungs. Furthermore, the browner of these cynical members of the Internet point out that it would have absolutely no point in India, as the upkeep of our museums are apparently atrocious and hence it was not worth risking an international incident over it.
Firstly, for those disinclined to symbolic value and only prefer the cold hard values of money; let it be known that England charges 25 GBP for entry into the Tower of London and hence the exhibits of the Jewel House that include the Kohinoor. In terms of rupees, that’s about Rs 2400, and in ringgit, RM 140 at the current exchange rate. There are about 2.8 million visitors to the Tower yearly as of 2015, and a simple calculation leads to the icy monetary fact that the tourism department makes around 700,000,000 GBP (Rs 66, 783, 000, 000) yearly in regards to the Tower – give or take. Now, although of course the Tower doesn’t merely consist of the Kohinoor it is the biggest, shiniest and most attractive diamond in the crown – hence, no tourist would leave before gawking at it. It is certain that even at a far cheaper ticket price, the Kohinoor in India would attract a much larger proportion of tourists (and a larger number because let’s face it, our population multiplies like rabbits) both from within India and from international waters; hence in a handful of years it would far exceed its’ monetary value.
Is it a package deal?
Now for those who account for symbolic profit rather than physical, let it be known the high proportion of Indians in the U.K. Add to this the thousands of Indian foreign-students, their visiting families, and those who have achieved a long term visa. Let’s say all these people go to the Tower to look at the Kohinoor. Essentially, they’re paying the aforementioned 25 GBP to look at something that would have belonged to their country all along. Even more brutal, it is literally a symbol of colonialism – taking another country’s prized jewel, slapping it on their crown, and making the citizens of that country pay to look at it. Of course, most people’s thoughts aren’t of needless injustice when they first clap eyes on the twinkly one, and rather along the lines of “wow shiny” and “move aside, odorous fellow,” however I like to think that at the backs of our minds the sentiment still resides.
Historically, it is Indian
The primary argument from those who disapprove of the jewel being returned is that ‘it was gifted.’ However, if one traces the history of the jewel, it was not gifted by Maharaja Ranjit Singh as is commonly thought but rather given by his son, Maharaja Duleep Singh. What difference must it make? Perhaps the British had forgotten or switched the Indian names as they were so oft fond of doing, the fact remains it was still legally gifted. See, the difference is that Ranjit Singh had died ten years before the taking of the diamond, and when his son had given up the diamond to the victorious British army – he was twelve or so years old. An actual child, who was separated from his mother and exiled to England where he was Anglicized in the most stereotypical manner possible. Furthermore, the ‘gifting’ was part of military confiscation to reimburse the British Empire for the expenses they had wrought by conquering Punjab (must be difficult, being an Empire…). So not only was the diamond taken from a child-ruler, it was taken after the British had taken over Punjab, hence as a war spoil. If the Koh-i-noor seized in this manner is considered ‘gifted,’ I suppose there shall be no more complaints about bullying in schools, only lovely reports of children ‘gifting’ their lunch money to others.
If the Kohinoor was a diamond tossed around the world like a political pass-the-parcel, I’d at least somewhat understand a historical claim to it by Britain. However, the first mention of the Kohinoor was from an ancient Sanskrit text where it was referred to by another name, and was transferred from the Rajas of Malwa to the Emperor of Delhi in 1304, hence there is no record of it originating anywhere other than India. It then changed hands throughout the succession of Mughal kings, mentioned by Babur, Aurangazeb and the likes. The Afghani Taliban had also requested the diamond, claiming it was Afghani – yet the Persians had only taken the diamond in 1739, and after the ruler’s assassination it fell into the hands of Ahmad Shah Durrani (the founder of modern Afghanistan). After the Kohinoor was returned to the aforementioned Ranjit Singh in India, the British had possibly set their blue eyes upon it; popular history was rewritten and the crown is a 109 carats heavier. Thus, the tracing of the antiquity of the diamond gives no doubt as to the origin of it, changing hands outside the country/empire only once other than the infamous British acquisition.
Morally, it is Indian
Note that I haven’t written: legally, it is Indian. Truly, it isn’t ours by law; if that had been the case, we would have been exhibiting it at exorbitant rates for decades. Legally, it was given to the British as mentioned before, and little Duleep Singh had even been taken to England for the presentation (where, incidentally, Queen Victoria fawned over his eyes and pretty teeth). However, if you look at it with a pinch of perspective, do you recall what was also legally British at the time? India. It’s always been common knowledge that the winners write the laws and at the time, the Empire soldiers had been the victors who wanted the big shiny rock. So take it they did, with all the legal certificates, pomp, and circumstance involved. Thus when they finally were ripped out of the scene a century later, they conveniently produced aforementioned certificates. Accordingly, India was returned to the Indians, minus some ancient buildings and structures, self-confidence, resources, wealth – and the Kohinoor.
Look at this fine piece. Do NOT blame Vicky in the slightest.
Legally, it remains British. But until India clawed its way to independence in 1947, the country and its people were also technically British. Slaves were legal in 1840s America. Harijans weren’t allowed in temples in 1920. Laws will not change without argument and negotiation, and in this case whilst we have no legal claim, we do possess a moral and historical assertion to the diamond from which one could build up a sizeable campaign and argument.
Outcome
Will the Indian government truly try to get it back? In this scene of toadying and wishing for oily international relations with Britain, I’m not sure. However, ‘international goodwill’ isn’t actually an argument for not trying to return the jewel to its’ native ground. Recently, the ruling government had said the efforts weren’t pursued due to Jawaharlal Nehru’s mention of it possibly causing tension. The difference is this: time. Nehru had been at the forefront of the independence movement for decades and had been a major component in Britain losing it’s wallet. If Nehru had gone back to ask for the crown jewels it would have caused extreme international hostility – and even he had initially requested its return. India and Britain’s liaison at the moment is probably as good as it’s going to get: now is the time to challenge it, before they conveniently ‘forget’ they had ever colonized us and that the British Raj was ever a thing.
What Raj!? Raj Mehta? Raj Kulkarni!?
What else could it bring? Perhaps civil unrest, if states argue over where to display it. Perhaps Pakistan or Afghanistan may try to claim it again, leading to further tension. However, relinquishing the diamond to one of those countries would be highly unlikely. Tourism, obviously. The immense Indian population, a majority of which would not have travelled to England would certainly come to see the jewel as would citizens of other, closer countries. Even if India displays the Kohinoor at a lower price of entry than the Tower of London (as it should), the revenue would far exceed the value of the diamond itself. Furthermore, taking the Kohinoor off the British crown would possibly be part of a hair-of-the-dog remedy for colonial hangover.
I suppose all this is tentative and predicted, however – we need to get Cameron to go from “it’s going to stay put” to “oh, take it then you buggers,” not to mention the reaction of the Crown. Nevertheless, this has just been a hashing together of why the jewel is undoubtedly Indian, something even the Royal family understands. There is a ‘curse’ on the diamond after all - “He who wears this diamond will own the world, but will also know all its misfortunes. Only God, or a woman, can wear it with impunity.” Queen Victoria had written that the diamond was only to be put on the crown of a ruling Queen, the Queen mother, or any female monarch on the throne or beside it.
So much for ‘native superstition.’
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Baldessari’s (optional) assignments for his 1970 Post-Studio Art class at CalArts
I could only find abridged versions, or blurry photos of the original handouts, so I transcribed everything, and here it is.
1. Imitate Baldessari in actions and speech
2. Make up an art game. Structure a set of rules with which to play. A physical game is not necessary: more important are the rules and their structure. Do we in life operate by rules? Does all art?
3. How can we prevent art boredom?
4. Write a list of art lies, un-truths that might be truthful if we really thought about them. However consider this: Art truths that we have often are boring in their correctness.
5. How can plants be used in art. Problem becomes how can we really get people to look freshly at plants as if they've never noticed them before. A few possibilities: 1. Arrange them alphabetically like books on a shelf; 2. Plant them like popsicle trees (as in child art) perpendicular to line of hill; 3. Include object among plants that is camouflaged
6. How can gallery use be subverted, as in land art? Exchange locations with another business? Photo gallery sq. ft. for sq. ft. and paste up in another space? One way glass in front of gallery?
8. Give police artist verbal description of Baldessari and have him do drawing. Perhaps everyone in class do verbal description.
9. Describe a neutral object completely with fileand tape or video. Do it until you have fully translated all its qualities to the medium. Perhaps better a class project in that more insights would be available.
10. Create art from our procedures of learning. How does an infant learn? How do we continue to learn. How do we learn speech? To count? To know danger? Investigate Montessori methods, books and learning and perception.
11. Do a tape recording of raw sounds and edit into a composition.
12. Make up a list of sound as art projects (see example).
13. How can a gallery space be used rather than put art objects into it?
14. Two man film project. Each shoots up an amount of film. Each edits the others film. A film collage problem. Important that the footage be "found"
15. Given: The availability of an airplane or helicopter for a short time use i.e., an hour. What would you do?
16. Given: $1. What art can you do for that amount?
17. Cooking art. Invent recipee. They are organizations of parts, aren't they?
18. Subvert real systems. I.e., dial a number that records passages while the person is out and dial another number that gives recorded messages. Put the two phones together. Put a sigh that says "SLOW" in the middle of a street. Get it?
19. What art can arise from magic and myth. Or just a magic trick on video.
20. A sensory deprivation piece. A sensory overload piece.
21. Ecological guerilla art.
22. Disguise yourself as another object--a tree maybe. Or becoming a tree. A big bird?
23. What are the minute differences in things that are supposed to be the same? And vice versa. If you took 36 photos of a lawn, would they all be the same? Or of 36 sections of the same lawn? Or of a wall? Or 36 identical nails (either, finger or kind you hammer).
24. File loops of slides of all the objects one stares at in a given interval when in an arbitrarily chosen room. Or recorded on a tape recorder as one's eyes look on them.
25. 36 slides from start to finish of simple motion like picking your nose, scratching your ass and so on
26. Slides of #24 projected in correct places in another room.
27. Wet and dry. I.e., how does wet gravel in a parking lot look next to another dry area. Perhaps an actual situation, where something would be constantly wasted.
28. Recreate sculpturally with other materials in a magic realist approach any 12" sq area of earth land. Perhaps better yet to keep your own seeth out of it would be to have another choose it for you.
29. Have some take a photo portrait of you just before you go into a store to steal something. Have your portrait taken immediately after the act. Photo the object stolen.
30. Design and have printed your calling card.
31. Steal the trash from Pres. Corrigan's wastebasket and make a collage of it.
32. Have yourself photographed in act of insulting a person. To repeat each time insulting a new person.
33. Pay homage to a movie star, rock musician, etc. in form of a pilgrimage visit. Photograph is required of the two of you with a personalized signed greeting by the culture here. Or it could be a famous person's grave. In this case a photo of you at the grave. Person's name on the gravestone should be visible. No signiture necessary.
34. Defenestrate objects. Photo them in mid-air.
35. What kind of art can be done with real animals?
36. Record all actions, thoughts, for 1/2 hour on tape recorder.
37. What kind of works can be done literally under the earth.
38. Liquid works.
39. Chemical works.
40. Biological works.
41. Photograph landscape in color. Make 8x10 color print. Make some color changes. Color landscape to match retouched photo. Color landscape to match photo. Rephoto.
42. Class make up list for scavenger hunt. Exhibit works at end of day.
43. Forgeries. Each in class tries to forge my signature on a check by looking at an original. Or forgeries of forgeries of forgeries, etc.
44. Take any sentence of text to 6 signpainters to be lettered in letters of same style and height. Study differences.
45. Punishment. Write "I will not make any more art" "I will not make any more boring art" "I will not make make good art" (or something similar) 1000 times on wall.
46. One person copies or makes up random captions. Another person takes photos. Match photo to captions.
47. Serial TV works. 25 ways to fold a hat, to comb your hair, 25 different people spitting.
48. Develop a visual code. Give it to another student to crack.
49. Disguise an object to look like another object.
50. Do a film or TV script or scenario. Use TV layout paper.
51. A video tape that is a result of reading a book. You give book report in front of camera.
52. Smell pieces.
53. Touch pieces.
54. Art that you see by looking up or down
55. How do we get eyes off the visual and into experience. Rent a service rather than an object from Yellow Pages.
56. Take a canvas stretcher, size of your choice, to an upolsterer and have it upolstered with fabric of your choice.
57. A piece that deals with measurement--up, down, right, left, etc. and where spectator is located.
58. Make up list of distractions that often occur to you. Recreate on video tape
59. Make up art parables.
60. Edmund Scientific Catalog project. What art can you make my ordering from this catalog. Maybe grow plants chemically.
61. Hypnosis. Can art ideas be planted and removed in a mind?
62. A wall drawing based on numerous persons height--each marks his height on wall with line, signs name and date.
63. What art can arise from such phrases as: 1. Entasis. 2. Gestalt with some left over information. 3. Simple shape, simple experience. 4. Unitary form with reduced relationships. 5. Unitary form with line of fracture. Or can pure information be art?
64. The structural movement of cameras as subject matter.
65. Performance pieces. I.E. Speak thru your hand to your thigh but not with your head. Or talk with your knees t osomething knee-high. Or what are your dog-like traints without imitating a dog. Or the delivery of a speech to an imaginary person in different spaces in a room. Do a series of artificial voices. Can the various positions of the hand change the resonance of the voice? Say "good morning" every morning into a tape recorder for the length of the tape. See Growtowski, Towards Poor Theater.
66. A snapshot album of things to see in Los Angeles with exact locations so that others could locate sights (sites).
67. Document change, decay, metamorphosis, changes occuring in time.
67. Do good an bad compositions (by photo) of same scene, object. Frame a photo in viewfinder and move camera a foot to side before shooting.
68. Make up a list by looking at art books. Talking to artists on things to avoid in making art. Do them. Ask yourself if results are good or bad art.
69. What art can come from the use of a set of walkie-talkie radios?
70. By using movie camera to follow actions and by your observations into cassete recorder, document the movements of someone secretly for an entire day. Or have someone follow you.
71. Photos are flat. Photograph flat surfaces. Maybe exchange them.
72. Change, control, alter, arrange light in room environment.
73. Art Powers. How much and what kind of art can you make from kleenex and masking tape, for instance.
74. A film video tape etc that deals openly with a physical flaw of yours (in your estimation). A film called PIMPLE?
75. Information exchange. You writer letters to someone and they to you and so on. Framed letters of Refusal (I am sorry, but...) for instance. Or Thanks (That you for your ...blah blah etc).
76. Random photos. End of, beginning of, roll photos. Camera sent up with pidgeon, balloon, given to another person with shooting instructions, shooting from hip, etc. How do we avoid our good taste?
77. Using of time devices. Time clock (that prints time in and out), random time devices (red dot on cash register tape), a fuse, a candle
78. Large scale art that can be seen in its entirety. For instance, if you dyed sheets each a separate color and arranged them checkerboard like, say a hundred or more, they could only be experienced by walking through them, but the ycould be seen (also photoed) by helicopter or airplane.
79. Photograph backs of things, underneaths of things, extreme foreshortenings, uncharacteristic views. Or trace them.
80. Put labels on things that list their contents.
81. Design an art test.
82. Can one give and take away aesthetic content?
83. Street works, art determined by locaiton. What would you do on top of a 30 story building? What would you do under water?
84. Given $50, could you increase the sum in a period of time?
85. Describe the visual verbally and the verbal visually
86. Film of, or video of, children's play activities--walking on a ledge, drawing a line in the dirt, etc.
87. Do a work of art by telephone. Or use TBA (John Collins).
88. An all word TV tape. Or a single word.
89. A real time movie or video tape. A steaming cup of coffee.
90. If photos come from reality, what kind of reality comes from photos? Reconstruct a photo tree-dimensionally.
91. Scenarios. Do a movie for an existing, stock scenario. Or 1 person write scenario, another shoot movie. Or grabag scenario--everyone write 2-3 scenes, drop in box, someone pull out maybe 10 and they are shot in the order drawn out. Or everyone do their version of the grabag scenario.
92. Video tape of making sound effects.
93. Design a secret handshake (for our class members?)
94. Verbally describe a landscape instead of painting one
95. A distinctive work that is based on parts and not a whole, that is one see the parts and never teh whole
96. Prove a point as in a science fair diorama, display tableau such as, "How quickly does bread mould under certain conditions?", or "a plant growth hampered by use of conditioned water?", "The effect of colored lights on plants", "Is untreated seaweed useful as fertilizer", "What effect does ultra Sonic vibrations have on plants?", "The effect of asperin on potato plants", "Why is a rainbow round?", "Do race, color, texture affect the strength of hair?" and etc.
97. Take the titles of any amateur art exhibit and illustrate them. For instance much titles as, Ah, Toro!, Autumn Leaves, Mexican Patterns, Xenogeniala #2, Xanadu, Wharf Enchantments, French Restaurant, Boat Patterns, blah blah
98. Repaired or patched art. Recycled. Find something broken and discared. Perhaps in a thrift store. Mend it.
99. Art that requires the rental of a Service rather than an Object.
100. How does one react to a minor stress problem. Perhaps compare what he is thinking to his outward behavior.
101. Put new canvas over old paintings.
102. Composition based on the duration of say, one gal of paint.
103. A 30 day continuous line of adding machine tape.
104. The shapes of shadows of well known people (or well known artists for a specific example)
105. Reversals. Be black, say things backwards, all while standing upside down.
106. Put make-up on dogs and other animals. On trees and plants.
107. "If each of us were to confess his most secret desire, the one that inspires all his plans, all his actions, he would say: 'I want to be praised.'" (E.V. Cloran). Do a piece that deails with Praise as a theme.
108. Photograph of umbrella and sewing machine on an operating table. That's Surrealism isn't it?
109. Blow powdered color through straw on drawing made with fat on wall underground. That's cave art isn't it?
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The Pontiac Trail – A Day Trip on Route 66
Are you looking for an adventure filled with nostalgia, Midwest charm, and some time behind the wheel? If so, the section of old Route 66 between Chicago, Illinois and St. Louis, Missouri is filled with plenty of adventure to get you “off the beaten path” and back to what made the American road trip famous. Jump on the Pontiac Trail and take a day trip on Route 66.
Pontiac Trail
Affectionately called The Pontiac Trail, this route was the original route traveled between Chicago, Illinois and St. Louis, Missouri. As we know, this route later became Route 66, “The Mother Road”.
Research will show that there are/were different sections of Route 66 in use at different times in history. The oldest sections of Route 66 follow the Pontiac Trail in what was designated as Illinois Route 4, which is the route we decided to explore on our Pontiac Trail day trip along old Route 66.
Having traveled most of the eastern sections of old Route 66 from Bloomington to Chicago at various times, we decided to explore the western section of the Pontiac Trail. Starting in Chatham, Illinois and working our way down to Edwardsville, Illinois.
Read about our day in Pontiac, Illinois HERE.
This particular section took us about three hours to drive with some stops for some local adventure and sightseeing.
Below are some highlights of some sights along this section of Route 66. This is just a sample of some sights you’ll encounter along this route, we don’t want to ruin it for you by giving away too much.
Here is a good website as a reference for the different routes that can be taken along Route 66 in various states – a great reference with good directions and tips. Click HERE
Springfield, Illinois was not on our itinerary for this trip. Springfield, onetime home to President Abraham Lincoln and state capitol, really needs its own post and much more time to explore. So, we bypassed Springfield on this trip.
First stop….
Chatham, Illinois
The Old Chatham Bridge, pictured above, was an early route that was in use for a short time. By 1930, better and straighter roads bypassed most of Chatham.
The old bridge is obviously no longer in use, except for what appears to be support for a water line supplied by a nearby pump station.
The bridge was hard to locate due to poor GPS coordinates and the fact that the Old Chatham Road is mostly closed to traffic yet still marked. Not a worthy destination for sightseeing, but I had to start somewhere.
On to…..
Auburn, Illinois
A lovely town with some of that Midwest charm we talked about above.
Seen below is the double-decker gazebo that sits in the middle of the town square. Oddly enough, you can’t get to the second level of the gazebo. So, we were left wondering what the purpose of a double-decker gazebo would be if you can’t get to the upper level.
There was no information about the origins of this gazebo that we could find, however, it is still a well preserved and lovely destination to stroll around to take in a lovely day.
Below is the lovely Commercial Hotel located on the East side of the Auburn square. An interesting story found in research was that the Hotel had caught fire in about 1910 and was destroyed. There is not much other information available, however, it was obviously rebuilt and is as it is pictured here.
The Commercial Hotel
A must-see near Auburn – The Route 66 Brick Road
Bricks laid over the original concrete in this section of Route 66. Only about 1.5 miles in length, this is a must-see for the Route 66 road-tripper.
Just enter Snell Road, Auburn, Illinois into your GPS and you’ll drive right to the brick road. Definitely a photo opportunity as well – very cool place.
Next stop…
Virden, Illinois
Pictured above is the History of Virden mural. The mural is the attraction we were looking for and appears that the mural has changed quite a bit over the years – repainted and redesigned with varying highlights.
An interesting fact about Virden – A dispute between mining laborers and the Chicago – Virden Coal Company in 1898 in which the company hired “non-union” laborers when original miners went on strike led to a gunfight. 13 people would be killed in this short battle.
On to….
Girard, Illinois
A must stop in Girard is Doc’s Soda Fountain on the square.
A well-maintained example of a period Soda Fountain, Doc’s is a must-do attraction when traveling through Girard. You can sample a soda poured directly from the original fountains, surrounded by some beautiful hand-made and carved wood that would have been in the building during the time of Route 66 heyday.
I opted for a hand-dipped Vanilla milkshake, which was pretty tasty.
Doc’s Soda Fountain
Since the soda fountain was once a drug store, the owners have assembled a collection of antique items that would have been in the store during the times.
We would love to have this old Rolltop desk, but I’m sure they aren’t interested in selling.
Don’t forget to sign the Guestbook – I did and that’s me on the last line. Just a few lines up were some guests from England.
There are a few other sights located in Girard, however, we were on a tight schedule and just moved on.
West to Nilwood…..
Nilwood, Illinois
Nilwood, Illinois is a pretty small town and there isn’t really much to see. However, a fun item just south of Nilwood is the Turkey Tracks of Route 66.
During the 1920s as the concrete was being poured for what would become Route 66, a turkey wandered onto the fresh concrete and left its mark. Still there today and is marked well with a sign and outlined in a white border.
This stretch of what is now Donaldson Road is one of the best examples of concrete road that would have been Route 66 during the period when used from 1926-1930.
Pretty incredible that this road is nearly 100 years old now. Cracked with grass growing in between the cracks, this stretch of road is not in too bad of shape. Sadly, this is the best example we saw of the original road.
Directions – Approximately two miles West of Nilwood, turn South onto Donaldson Road. The turkey tracks are about one and a half miles down the road. Well marked so you can’t miss it. GPS may not work.
Next stop …..
Carlinville, Illinois
Carlinville, Illinois is the county seat of Macoupin County.
With a fabulously well-kept downtown area, Carlinville is definitely on our list to return to when we have additional time to visit.
The town square offers period architecture that has been well preserved, great food options, some limited shopping, and a fabulous destination to just walk and enjoy a wonderful Midwest town.
Macoupin County Courthouse
An interesting story about the courthouse. Construction began in about 1870 with an estimated cost of $50,000. Construction was stopped when costs ballooned to over $1 million. Parts of the courthouse were never finished.
At the time the courthouse was built, it was the second largest courthouse in the United States.
Downtown Carlinville
On to …..
Gillespie, Illinois
Michelle’s Pharmacy in Gillespie is home to a lovely depiction of the Route 66 heritage and period.
The depiction of the Civil War soldier was once a large statue in the town that was located near the drug store. It is no longer located there and there was no information pertaining to its whereabouts.
I just love murals.
Next to last stop ….
Edwardsville, Illinois
Edwardsville, Illinois is a bustling, busy Northeast suburb of St. Louis, Missouri.
Home to the University of Southern Illinois at Edwardsville, the town has seen rapid growth over the years and is largely due to the university.
Still embracing its historical roots, Edwardsville’s downtown area certainly does not look much like it would have during the heyday of Route 66. However, many of the important buildings, homes, and other sites still remain.
One such site is the Wildey Theater.
Constructed in approximately 1909, the theater was conceived by the International Order of Oddfellows. The theater has seen big-name entertainers such as Ginger Rogers and W.C. Fields during its years in operation.
The last film shown before the theater was closed from full-time operation was “The Big Chill” in 1984. Some 400 patrons attended including media.
The theater was purchased by the city of Edwardsville in 1999 and is still operating to this day.
Here is a link to the theater EVENTS – Who knows, maybe you’ll be passing through town and want to take in a show.
Wildey Theater
A photo of Wildey Theater wouldn’t be complete without a shot of its next-door neighbor, Herby The Hereford.
Herby was erected atop the butcher shop that resided next to the Wildey Theater during the late 1940s. Herby is still there today but his red fur is looking pretty faded.
Edwardsville, Illinois is pretty much where our adventure ends for this segment of Route 66.
Our last stop of the day – Fire-N-Smoke BBQ. Just a quick ten-minute drive from downtown Edwardsville, you’ll find some of the best BBQ between Chicago and St. Louis.
HERE is a link to our review of Fire-N-Smoke from a previous visit – We stopped this time as well and I highly recommend it after a long day of adventuring.
Travel Tips
Give yourself plenty of time for driving. You won’t be doing 65-70 on these roads – this is old school road tripping.
Do some online research of sights that interest you and just plan to hit those. You likely won’t have time to see everything – some things won’t be worth seeing.
Visit one or two sections of the “old” road for nostalgic purposes but stay on the main highways for the most part. Most of the original road is in pretty bad shape or has been cut up into smaller side streets. Route 66 signs with directional arrows may take you onto the old road only to put you back on Route 4 in half a mile or maybe just a few hundred feet. It just isn’t worth the constant turns and stops.
Buy a map or reference book such as this one I recommend. GPS may or may not work in some locations depending on your cell service and you may find yourself needing some old fashion paper maps or guides. There are also travel tips included in this guide – very handy.
Buy this Guide Book from Amazon
HERE
Some destinations or sites along the route may still show on searches, however, are closed or moved. We found this to be true at least twice on our trip. Good research will help with this.
So, there you have it folks, The Pontiac Trail – A Daytrip On Route 66. At least the western section of Illinois’ Route 66.
Now that we have your interest sparked, get out there and see what the old “Mother Road” has to offer – there still is really a lot to see on this great American road.
The Pontiac Trail - A Day Trip on Route 66. Take a trip with us as we give you a peak at some of Illinois' best Route 66 destinations. The Pontiac Trail - A Day Trip on Route 66 Are you looking for an adventure filled with nostalgia, Midwest charm, and some time behind the wheel?
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Jody Wilson-Raybould and Jane Philpott will rock Trudeau’s re-election bid
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RCMP study finds hundreds of cases of corruption in Mounties | The Star
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A total of 204 regular RCMP members were involved in the 322 incidents of corruption found
70 years and half a trillion dollars later: what has the UN achieved?
The United Nations has saved millions of lives and boosted health and education across the world. But it is bloated, undemocratic – and very expensive.
The United Nations,“was created not to lead mankind to heaven but to save humanity from hell”. Dag Hammarskjöld
The United Nations, has also been dismissed as a shameful den of dictatorships. It has infuriated with its numbing bureaucracy, its institutional cover-ups of corruption and the undemocratic politics of its security council. It goes to war in the name of peace but has been a bystander through genocide. It has spent more than half a trillion dollars in 70 years the UN addresses them – have come to the fore as the organization struggles to define its role in the 21st century.
Tensions between western governments, which see the UN as bloated and inefficient, and developing countries, which regard it as undemocratic and dominated by the rich, have rippled across the organization as ballooning costs drive the push for reform.Even accounting for inflation, annual UN expenditure is 40 times higher than it was in the early 1950s. The organization now encompasses 17 specialized agencies, 14 funds and a secretariat with 17 departments employing 41,000 people.Its exceedingly corrupt.
Its regular budget, which is agreed every two years and goes to pay for the cost of administering the UN – including mouthwatering daily allowances which result in many of its bureaucrats being far better paid than American civil servants – has more than doubled over the past two decades to $5.4bn. Peacekeeping costs another $9bn a year, with 120,000 peacekeepers deployed mostly in Africa. Some missions have lasted more than a decade. And then there are the voluntary contributions from individual governments that go to fund a large part of disaster relief, development work and agencies such as Unicef. They have risen sixfold over the past 25 years to $28.8bn. And yet even at that level, some agencies are warning that they are operating on the brink of bankruptcy.
FBI -26 Federal Plaza, New York, NY 10278, USA
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American Embassy: 011-603-2168-5000
Singapore Suboffice
American Embassy: 011-65-6476-9100
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My father at his death was an American Citizen and I did turn to the American Embassy in KL only to receive Their little finger.. That Ambassador is a beast of a liar.
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John Schachnovsky
Xtoph De Caermichael <[email protected]>
Attachments
May 28, 2019, 11:30 PM (1 hour ago)
to bngkk, RouleauN, Rideau, Fahmy, Canadian, alyssa, BAL, caroline.mulroneyco, customer.service, Ministerial, Adrian, Melissa, gareth.lewis.evans, Canadian, haveyoursay, interpol, kcalvin, unat1, vicky, sos, bangkok-consul, Pierre, Michelle.Rempel, andrew.scheer, ANDRE-
Donica Pottie
15th Floor, Abdulrahim Place
990 Rama IV Road
Bangrak, Bangkok 10500
Thailand
Telephone: (66) 0-2646-4300
Fax: +66 (0) 2646-4336
TTY: +1 (613) 944-9136 (Ottawa)
Email: [email protected]
TO THE CANADIAN EMBASSY IN THAILAND.
I AM SAD TO SAY THAT i AM DYING BY THE HANDS OF CANADA IN MALAYSIA --I AM CROSSING THE MALAYSIAN BORDER SOON - OR TRYING - BUT I AM SO WEAK - AND I MAY GET A REPEAT OF A BRAIN BLEED -THAT WILL KILL ME - IF I DO ANYTHING - LIFT ANYTHING
I AM ONLY SENDING YOU THIS -IN CASE OF MY IMMEDIATE DEATH - OR WELL IF I COLLAPSE AND EVENTUALLY DIE AT THE BORDER IN THAILAND.
THE ORDEAL IS WELL DOCUMENTED - I HAVE ALERTED THE FBI HAS CANADA HAS COMPROMISED ITSELF CRIMINALLY AND WANTS ME TO DIE - SINCE THE PMO OFFICE IS INVOLVED AND SANCTIONED MY DEATH VIA THE RCMP AND THE HORRENDOUS DR.HEDY FRY. CANADA IS WAY TOO DANGEROUS A COUNTRY FOR CANADIANS.
SADLY AGAIN CANADA HAS CAUSED A MASSIVE SITUATION AGAINST AN INNOCENT CANADIAN - WHO ONLY ASKED FOR HELP AFTER A BRUTAL ATTACK.
AS MY DEAD BODY - WILL BE THE ONLY EVIDENCE- I HAVE CONTACTED SEVERAL OFFICES OF THE FBI - AS NOW THAT CANADA HAS ADMITTED THAT THE RCMP IS CORRUPT - AND THAT ALL THIS MADNESS THAT TOOK MY LIFE - I HAVE TO DO ALL THIS - EVEN IF I SURVIVE THE ORDEAL OF THE BORDER CROSSING - I STILL CANT GET TO BANGKOK - UNTIL I RECOVERED - I HAVE BEEN BED RIDDEN - FROM JANUARY 13 TH 2017 - VERY WEAK WITH MANY ATTEMPTS TO GET HELP - I DETERIORATED SLOWLY BUT PAINFULLY - AND ITS NOW DEFCON 5 - I AM SO WEAK - I HAVE BEEN ATTACKED BY SO MUCH INFECTION THAT HAS DAMAGED MY BRAIN - SO I AM LOSING THE ABILITY -TO WALK - TO TALK - TO THINK AND THIS MADNESS REQUIRES A LOT OF EXPLANATION - AND I CANT DO IT UNLESS I AM HOSPITALIZED AND RESTORED TO HEALTH.
BUT SINCE ALL THAT WAS DENIED BY CHC-KL - DR. HEDY FRY - THE PMO - THE RCMP AND THE CANADIAN PARLIAMENT.
ONLY IN CANADA AYE!
PS NOT SHOUTING - JUST BLIND
---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Xtoph De Caermichael <[email protected]>
Date: Wed, May 29, 2019 at 12:39 AM
Subject: RE- CRISTOPH DE CAERMICHAEL
To: <[email protected]>, Pierre Poilievre <[email protected]>, <[email protected]>, <[email protected]>
Donica Pottie
15th Floor, Abdulrahim Place
990 Rama IV Road
Bangrak, Bangkok 10500
Thailand
Telephone: (66) 0-2646-4300
Fax: +66 (0) 2646-4336
TTY: +1 (613) 944-9136 (Ottawa)
Email: [email protected]
I am a victim of a hideous crime. I never thought - that I would die like this and Canada would be -responsible.
I have all the details - emails - Videos - Wordpress - it was my way of saying I was I was still alive - and that I was incredibly targeted - denied Medical assistance by Malaysian Doctors - repeatedly and then the Dr.s Confessed as I was Canadian - they would never treat me - that what i was infected with deadly - and they knew about the Rat - attacks in Port Dickson - the place where I got attacked was known by the locals - the Filth Condo. Then the physical attacks began - chains being swung at me - extortion attempts - all because i had complained that I was attacked and very ill by the rat feces infused bedding- it was fermented and covered with mould - etc. It was dark - the bedding was provided and in less than 30 minutes - i was screaming and covered with what you see in the videos and attachments - i went blind - could not go out into heat - sunlight - my heart exploded and I was collapsing - terrified - under attack - from these people - screaming at me - i contacted everyone - Dr. in Canada - the CHC-kl - I saw all these drs who just continued to refuse to treat me. But confessed - its in the blogs with proof - that is common knowledge in Malaysia - so common - that everyone talks about -its in the news - and yet the CHC-KL denies any and all knowledge - preferring to endanger Canadians - Malaysia has a death sentence for Crimes - and Canada sentenced me to death - though the Death Penalty is gone - But its not Trudeau - Scheer - Poilivere - Rempel etal all sanctioned my death as well. ?
I was premed- years ago - my life story i wrote to ensure i was subject to the drunken drug infused realities that Canadian portray - I was way too educated - and lived a creative intelligent life - mostly alone. The world had changed - my friends were my age but appeared way older - and i had spent 10 years outside of Canada - extensive travelling - study - Art - Archaeology - a rich interior life - prayer -mediation etc. So what has happened to me - my death in this manner has me bereft -weak -and at deaths door.
I wrote so that you can know me - not the fiction I presuppose Canada will try to besmirch and destroy me- Problem is IT did.
This may be the last word and testament from me . I did try to get to IRELAND as a Refugee - all the rationale is there in the emails - etc.
Sadly - I am so afraid that I may not survive crossing the border - or be so weak that I must spend days in some hotel - trying to regain my strength to get to Bangkok by train - I have to hire someone to help me - as I cannot touch my luggage. Its way to heavy and with 0 core strength - i will get a hernia - a brain bleed - for the 3rd time. Anyway - I dont know what to say - and if its hard to understand what i have written - as its stream of consciousness - a brain that has been fried by infections - etc. it was so impossible and yet Canada via Trudeau and his shenanigans - worked really hard to KILL me.
But its all there in the Files - so prepare your self for a Gruesome reality - when my body is found or I found collapsed half dead - unable to talk - or paralyzed - then you will have to deal with all this . However as you may be part of the Kill - team I have no idea- what will occur?
And this may be the only time we communicate. so?
TQ
Cristoph
Thrive Global
599 Broadway
6th Floor
New York, NY 10012
FBI -26 Federal Plaza, New York, NY 10278, USA
1 212-384-1000
@ariannahuff
@HuffPost
@thrive
Office of Public Affairs
Phone number(202) 514-2007/TDD (202)514-1888
FBI New York Press Office
Phone number(212) 384-2100
@NewYorkFBI
John Schachnovsky, head of the FBI office in Thailand
FBI -Bangkok, Thailand
American Embassy: 011-66-2-205-4000
Dear Canadian Ambassador in Thailand (Dear Arianna Huffington,)
My father was an American Citizen and the USA under these extraordinary circumstances would have assisted in a rescue - now I am ensuring at least my death is recorded.
i have no real idea of how to document this has a summary - as there are so many details. within the next few weeks maybe 90 days - i am dead . The history of this ordeal - must be known - as Canada is actively seeking the death of innocent Canadian citizens - while abroad are viciously attacked.. and eventually die. Canada claims we are not Canadian enough to save and Trudeau has a fatios against any and all European Canadian migrants. Sure it sounds crazy but that is Trudeau- Bat shit Insane and worse as the politicians involved are also influenced and support this Canadian Madness - even Political neophyte Kevin O'Leary ? I dont stand a chance at living and the only proof that this was murder - are my desperate pleas. Dead men tell no tales.
Now i sent the files to Kevin O'Leary - Shark Tank fame - as he is Canadian and Irish and I had hoped that he would assist me in getting my case heard and free me from dying at the hands of Canada. But NO!
Canadian Politics are brutal- deadly -- not directed at the people but strictly to Politics.
So killing me - is an option- a reality. Even with Kevin O'leary ? I have sent my petition and notified everyone but Crickets - The whose who of Canadian Politics- The UK - USA - but somehow they decided I must die - ?
So many details are in my blogs - V-blogs - and the event history is told and retold ad infinitum- ad nauseam ad mortem
But as my body is the evidence and as all are suppressing this information. I am forced to publicize all this.. in fact as they are treating me as a 0 person - i thought pitch shark tank executives this deal .
As all this is Pro-bono -and Lawyers are the Only way through - and I set the Injuries - at $500,000,000. 00 a huge amount of $. But with such an international disaster taking place. Everything I have written about is accurate and its suppressed. By Malaysia - By Canada and by Canadians - even Kevin O'Leary.
Plus obviously - I dont need all that $. But as I am fatally injured -and have no idea how long I have to live - if I am too survive - at all - I will need years of therapy, that will cost a ton of money as it will forced to be experimental - as my body has become a petri dish of infection- so to recover - and as well as never return to Canada. in so doing I have to also find a new country to live in. I thought Ireland and possibly use the funds to fund so many philanthropic organizations - that require funding - and with all the cre -cre in the world - people do not need help - i am so tired -exhausted beyond belief. nights-days - became years - and death lingered.
Everything that has occurred to me - is a Crime- Everything that has happened as placed me on deaths door. And everyone i have contacted as increased the danger of this experience. Canada and Canadians appear to be a ruthless breed - especially the Politicians.
So please assist. I do not have long to live and with all the shenanigans? I am exhausted - bereft - harmed within-an inch of death with suffering so huge - I literally am burnt alive by this assault.
This was what i was assaulted with- and from that day on wards - January 13th 2017 - i have fought for my life.
USING temporary body hacks to try and cope. Which all fail -as the infections - have hybridized - so I have no idea what I am fighting. I am very weak - my muscles are gone - my arms and legs are spindles - i have gone blind - many times - my corneas were burnt - my heart damaged - i am lame and my hands are becoming claw like. Plus Cancer has started to form . THE ATTEMPT TO LEAVE MALAYSIA BY LAND AS I CANNOT FLY - CAN CAUSE A BRAIN BLEED THAT MAY MAKE ME UNCONSCIOUS.
WHILE CHC-KL HAVE ATTEMPTED TO DISCREDIT ME AND TO SEEK MY DEATH - DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES - SO BEFORE I DIE - I AM MAKING SURE THAT THIS CANADIAN - NOT CANADIAN ENOUGH- EUROPEAN CANADIAN IS ACCORDING TO TRUDEAU - NOT ACCESSIBLE TO CANADA. THEREFORE I MUST NOT LIVE. AS MY PASSPORT IS THE ONLY LEGAL DOCUMENT THAT MAY MEAN ANYTHING ? THOUGH AS NOT CANADIAN ENOUGH ? NOT SURE - BUT THEN MY LEGAL ARGUMENT IS WELL ESTABLISHED IN THESE DOCUMENTS- AND AS CANADA HAS GONE ROGUE - KILLING INNOCENT CANADIANS--WHILE SUPPRESSING THE EXTRAORDINARY DANGER OF MALAYSIA.
THE CHC-KL IS A VERY DELINQUENT - DISTURBED - ENTITY - INCAPABLE OF TELLING THE TRUTH. WATCH THEM LAWYER UP TO KILL ME FASTER - WHAT A SHAME CANADA DETERIORATED INTO A VICIOUS TRUDEAU-IAN HELL HOLE
THE BLOGS WILL BRING YOU UP TO DATE - THE VIDEOS SHOW ME - ILL - DYING AND BEGGING FOR HELP.I EVEN APPLIED TO IRELAND FOR REFUGEE STATUS - AS NOW AS CANADA AS ALSO STATED THAT DEATHS BY MEDICAL MALPRACTICE IS 30,000.00 AND THAT WAS THE REASON I HAD TO SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION WORLDWIDE - THE FIRST BILLS WERE 100,000.00 TO REBUILD MY JAW AFTER CANADA - BUTCHERED IT - LEADING TO A PLETHORA OF HEALTH ISSUES - DUE TO THE SEVERE DAMAGE - NOW THIS -
CANADA HAS GONE BERSERK? WELL MY DEAD BODY - THESE DOCUMENTS - THESE CONTACTS ARE ALL THAT I HAVE TO PROVE I WAS ALIVE - AS CANADA WOULD HAVE SUPPRESSED ALL THIS. NOW IT CANT.
WELL IT CAN - BUT I AM NOT THE FIRST VICTIM HERE IN MALAYSIA - JUST THE ONE THAT DIED BY CANADA - MALAYSIAN HANDS = MURDER = MANSLAUGHTER - MALFEASANCE= MY DEATH -
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