Nettles, Rhaenyra, Laena, Mysaria, and the Prize that is DAEMON TARGARYEN
Now, I'm not going to sit here and police shipping. I'm also not going to act as though better writers and thinkers long before me haven't talked about the same phenomenon of centring men in women's narratives as a way to value the women. However, as a person in this fandom, I do want to apply this thought to the shipping discourse of Daemon Targaryen because it has become exhausted.
We treat this man as though he's the prize to gain when these women are in relationships with him. In the sense that when Daemon picks these women to have a relationship with they gain a value and devalue the women he leaves behind. We see this with him going:
from Rhea and Mysaria to Laena.
He finally has a Valyrian bride who matches his spirit and can give him Valyrian children. They get along and are of equal standing.
From Laena to Rhaenyra.
He moves on, finds real happiness, finds his true family, becomes the Targaryen he was destined to be with his Targaryen bride at his side, and their Targaryen children with his real family
From Rhaenyra to Mysaria .
Rhaenyra became mournful and wasn't as she once was. Him and Mysaria just have this connection, and Rhaenyra approves.
From Rhaenyra and Mysaria to Nettles.
Daemon finally found someone he could look past himself for. The singers say they end up together. He does all of this and leaves the Rhaenyra to her death because Nettles left. He's finally ready to settle down and grow old. She saved him.
All of this is an overgeneralised hyperbole of conversations I've seen, but they always centre Daemon choosing these women to be in a relationship with as their biggest accomplishment in the narrative. Him at their side is the biggest deal, and when he leaves them, they are discarded and replaced by his new love interest.
The issue with this
Prioritising a man, this man, as the main factor in these relationships, discredit the women who exist outside of him and make it seem as though he's the only thing that adds value to them. The language being used, in short, dismisses their personhood and equates them to something he can own, discard and replace at whim, and he alone adds value to them. It's icky language especially with his game card.
Lady Rhea: wasn't even her choice. She hated him and refused to give him an heir to inherit Runestone. In the show, she makes sure he returns and kills her by insulting his sexual prowess.
Mysaria: is complicit and involved in his worst action but always ensures she pulls herself up with it. Being his courtesan made her wealthy, almost made her his wife. Then she's complicit in blood and cheese and gets herself promoted to the Lady of Whispers to the Queen, eventually putting an end to him.
Laena: CLAIMED THE LARGEST DRAGON IN THE WORLD AS A TEEN. Is quite literally the mother of the girls that survived the Dance. Her blood inherits her house's seat.
Rhaenyra: Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Had men avenge her death, and her son sat on the iron throne after her.
Nettles: created the religion that forged the most dangerous tribe in the Vale of Arryn. Claimed a wild dragon and committed alleged treason and escaped.
I'm not saying Daemon isn't important. I'm not saying he doesn't play a part. I'm saying that when we have these conversations about him and these women and the progression of his relationships with them, I hope we can reach a place where the idea that he leaves them isn't a jab or joke against one woman for the sake of the one he chooses. It's getting strange.
Women don't lose value because of a man. Ever.
This also applies to Baela and her adaptation in the show. She isn't uninteresting because she isn't a tomboy or like Daemon. They make her a political girl in the show and like Laena. That's not a loss. She's modelled after Rhaenys as well. She's just reflective of the women in her life. I'm sure she'll have a relationship to Daemon as well, but she's the Ward of Driftmark. That's quite interesting. We also have tomboys like Alysanne and Sabitha, so we aren't in a deficit by any means.
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BISEXUAL REP IN TOH
One thing I really appreciate about this show is the bisexual representation. It shows us how bisexuality can appear differently depending on the relationships.
The three canonically bi characters are Luz, Hunter, and Eda.
Luz is dating Amity, so her relationship is lesbian passing
Hunter is dating Willow, so his relationship is straight passing
Eda is dating Raine, who is enby, so the relationship could be considered either lesbian or straight passing or neither
Despite the fact that these relationships look so different, it doesn’t change the fact that Luz, Hunter, and Eda are bi. Bisexuality is not a one sized fits all, and as a bi person, I’ve never been so satisfied with this kind of bisexual representation before.
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Shout out to Raine Whispers who got thrown into all the crazy, and took it all like a champ, and just accepted that Eda's kids had some weird things going on and moved on from it with minimal questions.
Also what a way to learn that one of your paramour's children is the child of god after witnessing said god in a fashion.
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