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#kind of like how the anticipation of a needle is scary only you get stabbed or attacked & bludgeoned in various ways
derpinette · 7 months
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as soon as i want to relax i start thinking about how vulnerable my vitals are
#like when it is time for me to sleep or on the bus or just walking about outside#i always have my sides “hugged” sort of & i always worry about the back of my neck showing#( could entice someone into stabbing me there ) like on the bus or in class i keep thinking about how easily#someone behind me could just snap & stab me in the neck#i am a paranoid person like this in general in 2019 i was too scared to wear my hair in pigtails because i was paranoid some crazy person#with scissors would cut them off & run away ( sometimes i start thinking too much & it starts going into witchcraft territory )#( like OMG i am så going to get cursed for a laugh or out of boredom using those !!!!! same with nail grooming i only file )#anyway so when i try to sleep i keep thinking about how someone could just barge into my house & stab me in the kidneys & chest#& it feels so real so i have to curl up into a ball so the thought goes away#but then i think like any position is stabbable & nothing i do can protect me. no one say guns i am north african#maybe i need to start hiding weapons under my clothes again just to feel safer i used to hide blades in my bra when i was crazy in 2020#i think i am getting back there lately but surely this is fine whatever. Who caare & i mean that genuinely i have already been there#butUGH I HATE feeling so vulnerable to The Killer like i know what wendy williams means but honestly the thought of not dying scares me moa#kind of like how the anticipation of a needle is scary only you get stabbed or attacked & bludgeoned in various ways#like anyone can do anything at any timeeven when i was a kid i would be walking places & think someone could so easily drop a bomb right no#or how gas cylinders can explode at any moment. & then i start visualizing & Feeling until my ears ring. anyway#sorry for my Sick & Twisted Dark & Sinister Mind#journaling. or like.something.
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dxmedstudent · 6 years
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Hey! I'm not a doctor or anything, buuut I'm diabetic. I'm also really afraid of needles. I SHOULD prick myself at least occasionally with the ol' glucometer (sp?) but the last (and first) time I tried, I very nearly passed out after BARELY making myself bleed. I didn't actually even get enough blood for a reading. Do you (or your Medblr followers!) have any tricks you use on scared patients that I might be able to use on myself...? >_
Hello! I’m really proud of you for wanting to find out how to look after yourself. It’s scary, particularly when it’s a new sensation. Hurting ourselves is counterintuitive, so it makes sense that it unnerves you. I definitely recommend having a chat with your diabetic team, because they usually see this frequently, and tend to have lots of tips about things like this. Diabetic forums  tend to be really quite useful, because clinicians aren’t usally the ones psyching themselves up to prick themselves, so we don’t necessarily have as much experience in overcoming that hurdle as other patients do. You might want to practice with someone, just so there’s someone on hand in case you do pass out (you’d come round very soon, but it helps to have someone there), and to make sure you are sitting comfortably somewhere you can’t bump your head. Because it’s important that you remain safe, first of all.  In the long run, it really helps to learn to do it yourself, but if you can’t then it’s OK to continue on with your parents or caregiver doing it for now. Whatever works for you. Either way, for anyone who takes insulin (which I think given tumblr’s age demographics, is probably true in your case), testing your blood sugar regularly is essential. There’s no shame in someone else doing it if you’re not ready to, but it has to be done at the times you’ve been recommended. This is because not only do we worry about the blood sugar  levels being too high, but also too low.  So I’m really proud of you for taking steps to learn to overcome your fear. That’s really brave and responsible. Bearing in mind, I’ve not worked as part of a diabetic team, and am in no way substituting for their input and advice.  So if anyone is more endocrinologically inclined (or has firsthand experience of being pancreatically challenged) then please weigh in. So this advice is going to be general.I can’t tell you what will work for you, but I might share what I might do if I were in your shoes. The first step I might take would be just getting used to the sensation of touching my own fingers, so the sensation itself doesn’t freak me out. I might practice warming up your fingers, squeezing the tips of the fingers one hand with your other hand. I could then move on, perhaps, to placing the lancet on my finger, but not squeezing the trigger. This is often where people feel faint; it’s usually the anticipation that is worse than the reality. If that’s the case for me, then my placing the lancet on my finger, and having full control of it can really help. Because I can’t surprise myself. Perhaps the exposure to the feeling of the lancet on my finger might become less scary if I exposed myself to it more often, and got used to holding the lancet. Then I’d work out what kind if countdown works for me. Some people like 3-2-1, others want to be distracted them and prick them without letting them know, because thinking makes it worse. If I need a countdown, I would practise psyching myself up , and work out a run-up that works for me. I’d  practise without a lancet at first; just to get used to counting down until ‘3-2-1-stab’ becomes second nature. If I worked out that I preferred to be distracted, maybe at first I’d keep someone around to distract me and then, when I felt relaxed enough, I’d try to prick myself. Sometimes waiting makes things worse, and other times people need time to get ready; in my experience this is personal. So I have no idea what would work for you. When I’m having injections or cannulas or whatever, I prefer people to just do it, before I think too long about it. But others may feel differently. The good news is that it usually gets easier over time; I have had little patients who have  pricked themselves for years, because they’ve had diabetes since they were like 5.  That’s not to say you’re wrong for finding it hard; it’s still a weird thing to do. It’s just a weird thing we can get used to.
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kaizoku-okubey · 7 years
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Zonami Bang Bang submission!
Yohohohoho came a families laugh through the trapdoor of the crows nest as it swiftly swung open only to close milliseconds later. "My oh my what a storm! I'm soaked to the bone!" Said the elderly skeleton. Usopp looked to him in confusion: "That doesn't make any-" just then he realised his hands were digging into the muscle filled leg of Roronoa Zoro. He looked up to see Zoro glaring down at him then to Zoro's other leg to see Nami also holding on to the swordsman but staring at him in a way that said. 'Its best if you let go now Long nose.' Usopp jumped back with a "Sorry Zoro! Anyway...Brook did you see the island?" Brook was unbuttoning his damp shirt but paused to think. "Hmm not really! I saw its outline but that's it! Right now all I can see is darkness and that giant moon. The rain doesn't make it any easier." He removed the shirt and ringed out the liquid. "Usopp-san I've got the bentos from Sanji-san!" He said pulling five bentos out of his pants. As he removed them as well so he was walking around in his orange boxer shorts. "Why in your pants!!!" Usopp screamed! "I didn't want the rain to ruin them." It was probably the worst storm they had encountered in a while. Each drop felt like a blade! By the holes in what was left of Brook's outfit, it had not let up from when it began. Zoro sat down and rest his head on Nami's shoulder. It was so nice just the two of them why did needle rain summon Usopp and now Brook. Usopp and Brook soon after fell asleep once they were finished eating and playing crazy eights. Their breathing was noisy almost as if they were snoring like Luffy, but not nearly as loud. The rain pattered on the roof in an intense symphony, but was slowing down. "You asleep?" Nami muttered as she turned up to Zoro. "Nah" he surprisingly replied slowly opening his eye. "Wanna do something fun?" He asked. "Not with them here." she replied but smirked at the idea. "The rains slowing down.. Wanna do something fun tomorrow?" Nami's eyes light up at this question. "Of course I wanna have fun with you I got an idea." Zoro's heart started to race in anticipation. Hell yeah tomorrow would be great. "Is this really what you meant by fun!" Zoro mumbled as Nami tightened an empty yet oversize backpack onto him. "Of course it is! We haven't gotten supplies together in some time now!" She said putting a slightly oversize but not nearly as big as Zoro's backpack on as well. Just then they watched as Franky entered the Sunny's aquarium lounge. "OW this islands intense you two! Perfect for adventure." Nami looked over to him. "Franky are you going with Robin?" Franky took of his sunglasses and replied "Her Usopp and Luffy. There's a bunch of weird shops that are perfect for those two. The island is also really dark so you know Robin likes that sort of stuff so we'll be going there after Luffy's bath is done." "Sounds good." Nami replied "We'll meet back up when the suns about to set." Franky looked at Zoro and turned his head. "She joking? This island doesn't have a sun!." "He wasn't kidding!" Zoro said as Nami grabbed hold of his hand, her other one swiftly wrapped around his arm. "It's kind of creepy," she stated. "but don't worry I'm here to protect you!" He grinned at her. "Soprano stone giant!" Nami grin turned mischievous "I'm scarier than him any day. Fire haired biscuit man." Zoro scoffed..."Moron needed eight swords!" He returned her affection although kept it cool as he usually did. Nami looked over to all the shops slightly dissatisfied with this "cool" town Franky was so excited about. It was all machine parts, and creepy books, not to mention all the churches. What was up with this creepy place. Just then an old wrinkly blob of flesh appeared right in front of them. Its stench filled the air like iron and mold. Hair fell like mud on a rainy hill, eyes peered like blazing metal being ignighted. Nami screamed at the sudden notion while Zoro backed up from the surprise bargain deal he almost embraced on accident. "Hey buy this thing!" The old human cried out. "I saw the eerie last night so make sure you two take care SO BUY THUS OR DIE." They said holding up a twisted looking peace of glass. "It will catch you in its long figures and brink your blood!!" Zoro once again scoffed "Please I've sliced through so many beasts, and have been sliced and stabbed so many times my blood is poisoned." "Be nice!" Nami hollered at Zoro... "Um how much?" she asked not really wanting to buy it, but still not to sure about being rude to the old one. "562593169364 beli!" The hag exclaimed extending a hand as if to say "gimmie!" "HELL NO!" NAMI screamed at such an absurd price that honestly needed to be rounded up. "Thin I hope you die!" The wrinkled said storming off at such stinginess from a life or death situation. Nami let out a huge sigh, "Why do I have such bad luck at finding old people with no sense of accounting!" Zoro pulled her close to him. "Maybe the old bag wants a fashion lesson." Nami smiled and took one last look around. "I don't think there's anything here for us, wanna head back to Sunny Go?" Zoro shook his head. "Nah I want alone time and if were there then ero cook wont leave you be...how about a walk, Maybe we'll find the Eerie!" He said gesturing to the woods at the edge of the town. Your bad Nami teased. "You better have sharpen your swords if something tries to get me." Nami teased. "The only thing getting you will be me." Zoro said with a beastly grin. Nami's eyes flashed with excitement "Lets go!" "Don't you think its kind of a mood killer?" Nami asked practically cradled in Zoro's arms. Much like a cartoon dog would with its green shirted owner. Zoro was annoyed. For one he wanted alone time that he was getting, but not in a way he was hoping. And second he was lost. Despite having a navigator literally in the palms of his hands. "Damn this Forest" he muttered to himself when suddenly everything started shaking. Followed by spinning. Everything was wrong. Nami at this point had passed out from the complete shock caused by her quivering anxiety. Zoro looked around as everything started to bleed. Suddenly as the face of none other than Nami appeared from inside the vortex wailing: "Why do you always fail to protect me...always rushing to fight....now you've killed me finally!" On her last word her teeth began to grow long and crooked stabbing into his flesh and began pulling him into the vortex that eventually lead him to collapse unconscious. Nami's eye flew open. Only to be met by a guy with no face. Or it seemed so at first But before her eyes about two sets of eyes and noses, and the flesh formed a long jagged mouth hooking on each end. It grinned with what seemed like two sets of teeth like a shark, as more faces appeared all over the body. Nami shrieked which in return woke up Zoro. "What's up with yo...." He said groggy from his forced nap. Looking at the strange thing. "What the hell is this mess?" the faces began laughing. "You two have high bounties right?" Zoro turned his head in confusion . "Yeah but why does that matter.? Are they high" Nami's turned as well. "Um yeah but..." "Then I'm gonna give you to the Navy for money!!" The face fiend blurted out. Nami interrupted "Hey before that! Why do you have so many faces!" She asked the creepy guy. Zoro spoke up "Yeah now that she mentioned it your kinda creepy looking." Nami became agitated, "That's not what I said I just asked why there are so many!" "So you don't think he's creepy, that's not like you." "Of course he's creepy but if he hears that he'll kill us" "Yeah right as if he could do that!" "SHUT It!!" The mouth guy exclaimed with all 8 or the mouths surrounding his large but lanky body some of which were hidden by clothing while others plain as day with his loose shredded clothes. "My name is Bunder! I ate the Shoki Shoki no me I can eat people and their faces form on my body, and I get their thoughts and memories." Zoro sighed "Damn your lame." he muttered. Bunder frowned "Hey that was rude." Nami let out a wine "How come every one who kidnaps us are pathetic." Bunder cried out in disbelief: "That was uncalled for!" Suddenly both Zoro and Bunder fell silent. "What's going on?" Nami asked looking around. "Crap she's here!" Bunder groaned. "Crap more freaks!" Zoro groaned. "Bunder you suck how come you have to always take my victims!" Suddenly a young small almost skeletal woman with Spruce hair and orange lederhosen and was smiling oddly pleasantly came from underground. Nami's eyes closed and she angrily wailed. "Now there are Zombies I HATE THIS STUPID ISLAND!" The ground woman tuned tho Bunder smacking him on all the visible faces "I hate you! You always take my catches!!" Bunder backed up, "Toppan I was just keeping em safe from you." Toppan backed up with a cheery smile that was now still cute yet sinister. "Alright then!" Zoro and Nami both got upset by this and screamed out. "HE'S OBVIOUSLY LYING!" Toppan held out her hand in front of the two. Her hand curled together and it morphed into a small ball that grew into a face, that broke off her arm as her hand regrew behind it after a second Nami realised that the small thing was a jack o lantern. "Is this a Devil fruit power too?" Nami asked? "Yeah!" the girl shrugged "The Pampu Pampu no mi! I can only make so many at a time but they release sleeping gas that causes hallucinations when they are within five feet of body heat I just got to set them so!" She informed. "It even works on her dumbass!" Bunder boasted with a hearty laugh. Toopan blushed still smiling, "You shouldn't blurt stuff out like that or you'll get in trouble with-." "That's why everything started bleeding!" Zoro interrupted. "Wah that's scary!" Toopan said her eyes widening but of course keeping her smile. "How many of you are there?" Nami asked. Bunder laughed "About fifty!" Nami tune to Zoro. "I hope all of them are this stupid. They tricked us earlier, but that was before we knew their powers." Bunder started saying names Me, Toopan, Jefdam, Pogo...." "NO!" Zoro yelled out breaking his chains and helicoptering Bunder in the faces shutting him up and knocking him out in a second. Toppan glanced at Bunder you would notice that she kept smiling. Then quickly sunk into the ground. Zoro took out one of his swords from Bunder's satchel. Cutting Nami's chains he sets a hand on her shoulder. "Ya aight?" He asked with concern. "If you could get free the whole time WHY DIDN'T YOU DO IT EARLIER! She said punching him in the gut. "Oof" Zoro cried out at the sudden surprise knuckle sandwich. "We could have died!" Nami screamed trying to be tough as well as trying to hold in tears. "Wait a sec-" Zoro started but, "WE COULD HAVE DIED!" She repeated finally letting out geysers of tears. Zoro rushed to her in the speed of light. Embracing the crying orange haired woman in his huge gorilla arms. "I wouldn't of let them hurt you." He whispered. "Then why not break out from the start.' "I was sure there were more, this way we have information." "She's calling her friends now!" "There's only fifty" "Fifty trained killers" "Fifty stupid bounty hunters, you saw those two." "But Luffy's stupid and if there are fifty of him we won't win." "Believe me. I don't think they're pirate king material." He kissed her on her head calming her shaking down with an assuring hold. "I have a plan!" Toppan skipped gleefully in the front of 48 living nightmares. Each armed to the teeth some literally armed with their teeth. Snarling, giggling, scrapping large rusted axes on the ground, or scratching their heads with glistening knives. They all had the intent to horribly maim fresh skin if not simply kill the owner. Savages they all were and Zoro watched them approach with a straight face. "Nami...do you remember the first rule of assassination?" Zoro asked to the open air. "Go for the easy targets." Nami's voice echoed from several different locations. So they say Zoro stated followed by "Santoriyu Kokujo: O Tatsumaki." Suddenly gusts of wind were caused by the waving of his swords formed a giant tornado devouring the trees around it as it formed and like a spinning top rolled out of control in the opposite direction of which it was created. Spinning like a bowling ball it was full of weather eggs each popping to form a lightning powered death cyclone to the crowd of psychopathic bounty hunters that were now either leaping out of its way turning to run or just standing paralysed in fear for what terrible fate was in store for them. The storm slurped up a good percentage of them hurling them into a cyclone of pain. Some passed out on point, others weren't so lucky and were launched out slamming painfully into trees. Few of the bounty hunters remained watching in either horror or anger as their comrades flew away with the massive storm. Zoro groaned. "Man I thought this group wold have more survive." Go ahead he called out as Nami waved her climate tact suddenly ten copies of Zoro stood in front of the remaining few bounty hunters. "GUST SWORD" Nami called out behind the clones knocking out several of the hunters. "GUST SWORD GUST SWORD GUST SWORD!" Nami called out over and over sending shrieking small tornados in cylinders at the hunters. Some of which tried to avoid but were met with flying slash attacks from Zoro. Three fell eight fell one by one the bounty hunters lay. All but one. Toppan stood there knowing better not to run but waiting her inevitable ass kicking because she was practically responsible for the whole ordeal. Both Zoro and Nami dashed at her she could only defend summoning pumpkins around her the light shone but the duo were two fast both sucker punched her into a tree causing her to pass out the smile still on her face. Both Nami and Zoro stood victorious yet panting. "Told you no bid deal," Zoro said looking at her assuring. She returned his glance, "Next time let's just stay in the sunny if the island is creepy." My submission to @zonamievents ZoNa bang bang event! This was a great idea and I enjoyed working with @psycho-nas
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