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sunmoonjune · 5 months

Text

spring tides [like the moon universe]

pairing: poly!ot8 ateez x fem!oc!reader

warnings: vague mentions of eating disorder, death and torture, scars, ptsd, very fluffy! a lot of comfort! not so dark this time xD I did not proofread this :D

word count: 14.1k

a/n: hello y'all :D I have returned with some LTM for you <;3 This is a oneshot for my like the moon universe! You don't necessarily need to read the series to understand this fic but it definitely helps the immersion and understanding some of the plot points! you can find all chapters of ltm on my masterlist <3

Seonghwa remembers something in the spring of your third year with Ateez. As he watches you at Jongho’s side, silently offering the guard slices of fruit as he cleans his claymore, Seonghwa recalls that he doesn’t know when your birthday is.

Jongho is murmuring something about the design of his blade and the engraving along the handle when Seonghwa stands abruptly. The eldest shifts on his feet, brows furrowed and teeth worrying his bottom lip. His lips purse when Jongho questions him.

“Hwa?”

The red-haired guard looks up at his partner with a lilt of concern in his voice, hands halting their motion on his blade. Jongho’s dark eyes glint as the fading sun catches the hickory color of his irises.

“Is there something wrong?” Jongho continues, already shifting to stand to his feet. “Are you alright?”

You rock on your feet, legs stretching as you prepare to stand with Jongho. Your eyes flicker across camp, scanning for whatever has caught Seonghwa’s attention. There’s two swords still strapped to your back and you can nearly feel the cool metal pressing into your skin – a haunting reminder of the terrible things you’ve done with them. The buzz beneath your skin itches with the beginnings of adrenaline, already prepared to stand and defend the two Ateez members at your sides.

Seonghwa lifts his hands and shakes his head to soothe you and Jongho before you can stand. He softly waves his hands to encourage you to sit back onto the carved log beneath you, a wary smile on his lips.

“No, it’s nothing,” he murmurs, still gnawing at his lip as he finishes. He offers a barely concealed sigh and shakes his head again. “‘M alright, just remembered something.”

Jongho doesn’t seem satisfied with the answer, but he settles back onto the floor regardless. His hands return to wiping down his claymore but he doesn’t look away from his partner.

You share the sentiment, continuing to watch Seonghwa and making note of each creak and scratch that echoes through the camp. You don’t know what startled him, but you’ll be prepared for the next time. The fruit in your hands has made your fingers sticky in the brief moments you spent looking up at Seonghwa rather than cutting the supple treat.

You don’t mind though. You like slicing fruit for Jongho. He doesn’t eat enough, you’ve noticed. You’re not quite sure why, but you suppose you don’t quite know how to ask. No matter the reason, it brings you comfort when he continues to take slices of succulent fruit from you as he cleans. He doesn’t look up, simply trusting you to place the pieces into his hands so he can eat without trouble. When you sat beside him that morning with the fruit in your hands, Jongho raised an eyebrow but didn’t mention it. You ate the first few slices before offering them to the wine-haired guard, who accepted them with a small smile. Every so often, he turns slightly, ensuring that you’re continuing to eat as much as he does.

At one point he tilts his head back, looking up at you with those pretty, boba pearl eyes and opens his mouth slightly. Both his hands are occupied, busy with the intricate care his blade necessitates. With your heart thumping quickly in your chest, you place a slice of fruit on Jongho’s waiting lips and try desperately not to linger on the thought of how full and supple they are.

“Thanks, love,” he murmurs without looking at you, the words sweet and saccharine in the low timber of his voice.

Seonghwa laughed when Jongho’s cheeks pinkened after that, but you weren’t really sure why.

Turning his attention to you, Seonghwa looks down at your figure. Sitting with a slight slump in your shoulders, the spymaster smiles faintly. Slouched posture is a good sign, he muses. You’re comfortable.

When you tilt your head to the side, silently questioning Seonghwa’s thoughts, you reach up to gingerly grasp his fingers. There’s no hesitation. There hasn’t been in a long while. Seonghwa extends his hand in offering when he notices your appendages twitch. His warmth sinks into your palm and you nearly hum at the soothing feeling.

You squeeze his hand twice before lingering for a longer third.

‘Are you okay?’ you silently question.

Seonghwa’s lips quirk into another gentle smile, but his eyes are distant. It makes your heart tug painfully. The hickory of his near-black irises is muted. You miss the glimmer of those sweet, dark eyes that show when he smiles.

“Yeah, m’alright, lovebug.”

Your heart slams into your ribs – a delighted feeling. Lovebug. You like that.

Seonghwa leans closer to repeat the gesture, squeezing twice and then lingering for an ‘okay.’ His other hand lifts to run over the back of your head with a delicate movement. Fingers carefully scratch against your scalp and you resist the temptation to lean into his hands and exhale softly.

“I have to go see Joong and Yunho, though. I really did just remember something I wanted to speak to ‘em about,” he whispers. Dragging his nails gently over the nape of your neck once more, Seonghwa smiles when you finally lean into his touch with a quiet rumble. He thinks you look positively cat-like. When one set of lashes flutters against your cheek in a tired, pleased expression, Seonghwa could coo at the endearing look. He withholds only to save you the embarrassment of his mother-hen tendencies.

Your one eye flickers over his expression once more before you relent and nod your head just once. Seonghwa’s hand begins to pull away from your head, and this time you do make a tiny sound of sadness. The eldest feels his heart squeeze at your reluctance to be parted from him, leaning close to drag his thumb over the stiff material of your mask with a sweet touch before he stands upright once more.

“I’ll be back in a minute, okay? You and Jongho finish up and join us for dinner soon.”

You let out a short exhale through your nose, a sound they’ve taken to signify your agreement. Jongho’s lips twitch at the noise, trying to hold back the laugh he wants to let out.

“Okay,” you whisper softly beneath your breath as you lean back against the back of the log. Seonghwa smiles and finally shifts his stance to leave, only pressing a gentle kiss to Jongho’s brow before walking off. Your head tilts one last time as Seonghwa leaves, wondering if perhaps one day he’ll kiss your head too when he takes his leave.

The archer finds Yunho before Hongjoong. The tallest of Ateez is easy to collect when Seonghwa gives him a meaningful look. The tension in the eldest’s brow must convince Yunho that there is something important he is needed for because he immediately follows after Seonghwa. The two find themselves in the Captain’s cavern, his and Seonghwa’s really, standing before the long-haired leader with a small frown on the archer’s lips.

Hongjoong mimics the frown, coming to a stand behind the desk currently holding a plethora of worn maps.

“What’s wrong?”

Seonghwa sighs, squeezing his fists together before he turns to face Yunho with a solemn expression.

“When’s her birthday?”

Yunho’s brow quirks at the same time the tension in his shoulders finally loosens a notch. Sighing softly, he licks his lips and answers.

“Tiny’s?”

Seonghwa nods, the expression on his face unchanging: serious and solemn, as if the situation was as grave as a wake. Hongjoong glances between the two men, his brow now lifted in surprise, but he says nothing.

“It’s been three years since she’s been with us,” Seonghwa murmurs tersely. “But we haven’t celebrated her birthday. The first year I could understand missing it – I mean, she was still adjusting to Ateez, and even after that she’s still a little apprehensive. Not that I blame her, of course – I just… It’s been three full years and I can’t believe we’ve missed her birthday at least three times.”

Yunho’s bottom teeth sink into his lip and his eyes suddenly dart towards the floor. He swallows once, shifting on his feet and sighs as he ponders how to answer Seonghwa’s question. The eldest watches his partner with that same, tense look and his eyes glisten with something sad – something understanding, as if he knows Yunho’s answer before he speaks it aloud.

“I don’t know,” Yunho finally answers quietly. He looks down at his feet, unable to meet his elder’s eyes. His eyes squeeze shut with another sigh that shakes through his shoulders. He repeats himself louder, still just barely above a whisper. “I don’t know.”

Hongjoong steps forward from behind his desk. “What do you mean ‘you don’t know’?”

“I mean I don’t know,” Yunho whispers sadly. “And she doesn’t either.”

Seonghwa licks his lips, grasping at strings as he scrambles to find the right words to say.

“I don’t understand. How can she not know her own birthday?”

Yunho won’t look up from his feet. His fingers curl into fists and the tips of his nails dig into his palms from the tightness of his grip. He can’t bring himself to loosen his hold.

“Tiny, uh… After everything that happened with her – with that village, they don’t particularly regard her… fondly, you know?”

Yunho speaks slowly and methodically, as if trying carefully to pick the right words to say. His tone is terse and cold, the disdain for the village of his past more than evident in his voice. Hongjoong looks up at his partner with a frown still on his lips, his heart pulsing sadly in his chest.

“But she doesn’t know her own birthday? No one in her village told either of you?”

Yunho sighs again, finally looking up at his Captain with grief plastered across his features in an expression neither man can ignore. Seonghwa is already stepping forward, settling an arm over Yunho’s shoulders and rubbing his thumb across the taller man’s jaw.

Yunho leans closer to Seonghwa and continues, voice deep and throaty with the weight of his words. “We celebrated it once. Back when we were young – back when… Daia was still around.”

Hongjoong looks away.

“But even then,” Yunho continues softly, trying not to think of the bony cage casting shadows of your quivering form. You were so young. Little fingers grasped the cold bars that separated him from you, desperately whispering a plea for him to leave. He should have known your father wouldn’t let you celebrate your birthday like he and the other children did. But the smile on your face was so pure, so genuinely happy that he could never utter the words that may wipe it away.

“We didn’t know the exact date – just that she was born in the spring. Her father… well he killed the attendants that assisted her mother through labor. Not that we could prove it, of course. Anyone around for Bug’s birth… isn’t around anymore. And Bug was raised kind of secluded the first few years of her life. No one knows exactly when she was born and her father certainly wouldn’t say.”

Seonghwa’s eyes continue to glisten with that broken look, and he licks his drying lips before he speaks. His heart throbs painfully, echoing the sadness in his face.. “And… after Daia wasn’t around anymore?”

Seonghwa hates that he asks.

Yunho shifts on his feet and looks away again.

“I, uh… I don’t know much of what happened after Daia…” he trails off for a long moment. “By that time, the village and her father turned their backs on Bug, and I… I was exiled a few years later.”

Seonghwa thumbs over Yunho’s jaw again, trying to soothe his lover’s agony. Hongjoong steps closer and lays his hand across Seonghwa’s back, their combined sadness near tangible in the cavern hall.

“Bug’s birthday…” Yunho finally continues. “She’s never seen it as a good thing, you know? Her father and the village certainly didn’t see it that way.”

Seonghwa’s eyes sadden, the shine of his irises dulling at Yunho’s confession. He turns over his shoulder to look at Hongjoong and presses his lips together, as if regretting bringing up the topic altogether.

“A good thing?” Hongjoong whispers.

Yunho shakes his head, his frown dragging down his lips as he breathes softly. “Not something worth celebrating. The day she was born was… the start of everything bad, I guess.”

Seonghwa’s eyes squeeze shut, the burn of tears forcing pressure to build in the corners.

“Sometimes I think,” Yunho whispers tiredly, his eyes cloudy and unfocused as he stares into the distance. “I think she might hate it; that she might despise the day of her birth because of all the pain that came after.”

Hongjoong takes a deep breath in through his nose, trying to soothe the anguish that swells inside his ribs. There’s grief there, rage too, settling in the pit of his stomach and pushing upwards into his chest and throat. It’s not directed at you – it could never be. It’s towards your father, towards your village, towards anyone that has looked at you with disdain and uttered that foul moniker he knows makes you flinch.

“I’m sorry, Yun.”

Yunho shakes his head, leaning into Seonghwa’s hand and looking down at Hongjoong with his eyes glistening with welling tears. He swallows, clearly resisting the urge to cry, and kisses Seonghwa’s thumb when it brushes his mouth. “‘S okay, Seonghwa. I know your intentions were honorable.”

Seonghwa nods, finally leaning forward until his head rests against Yunho’s collarbone. An arm wraps around the eldest’s shoulders and Hongjoong presses himself against Seonghwa’s back, encasing both him and Yunho.

“So don’t bring up her birthday, then?” Hongjoong whispers, frown still drawing his lips downward. He speaks the question into Seonghwa’s shoulder blade, his lips grazing the tunic covering his skin.

Yunho is silent for a long moment. No one speaks and the sounds of their hushed breaths are all that echo through the hollowed cavern. Yunho ponders his Captain’s question in the silence and thinks of your growth in the years you’ve spent in their camp. Would you rather they never mention your birthday again? Or would you appreciate a different kind of memory to replace the shaded pains of the ones long past?

Soon after, Yunho leans forward to bury his face into Seonghwa’s hair before he breathes deeply and pulls back, a small quirk lifting the corner of his lips. He thinks of you and that youthful grin that used to grace your lips more often as a child. Yunho recalls the mischief in your smile and the wonder that would flash across your eyes, and he begins to twist an idea around his thoughts. It’s that look he wants to see again. He always wants to see it; the mischief, the awe, the teasing grin you used to throw over your shoulder to get him to chase you through the training grounds. He wants that so badly.

“Actually, Captain…”

Hongjoong peels his head away from Seonghwa’s shoulder, looking up to meet Yunho’s eyes with a raised brow and a question in his eyes. “Hmm?”

Yunho finally manages a fraction of a smile, stroking his hand over Seonghwa’s shoulders as he speaks.

“I think there might be a way we can show her that her birth is something worth celebrating. I’ll need your help though.”

“Anything.”

“Anything for her,” Seonghwa finishes at the same time Hongjoong speaks.

Yunho’s heart swells. The soft grin on his features begins to stretch, mirrored by his two elders. Pride begins to surge beneath his skin and it makes him feel fuzzy.

“What do you need?” Hongjoong whispers into the fraction of space separating their lips. Yunho huffs a smile, leaning closer until his mouth brushes against his leader’s.

“How do you feel about a little trip, Captain?”

Time passes easily. About a week goes by after the conversation between you, Jongho and Seonghwa before Hongjoong announces that Ateez will be spending a few nights traveling away from camp. He won’t say where they’re traveling to nor why they’re going, but there’s a mischievous grin on his lips when you tilt your head in suspicion. No one will tell you anything about the adventure other than handing you a cloth pack to gather some things for the trip.

Mingi helps you clean your blades and slides them into the scabbards on your back for you. Seonghwa packs food away carefully and slides extra servings of dried and cured meats into your pack followed by the fruit he knows you and Jongho love. San and Yeosang sit by your side as you help sort the first aid supplies the camp may need. The inky vines wrapping around Yeosang’s forearms flashes from beneath his sleeves, and you find yourself following the sight of the tattoo each time you peek a glimpse of golden skin covered in leafy shapes.

San laughs and raises an eyebrow at his lover when he flicks his shirt above his waistband playfully, showcasing the span of scales descending over his hip and up his waist. He giggles when you reach forward to pull his shirt higher over his side, eager to follow the lines of ink up his torso. San pushes your hands away and promises to show you one day. Wooyoung enters the cavern a moment later and exchanges a knowing look with San, as if the same pattern of obsidian scales crawls up the opposite side of his own torso.

On the morning Hongjoong announced their leave, you pack the last of your things diligently in the cloth pack given to you. There’s something fond rippling through your chest as you slide a hand over the large tunic laid across your bed.

The sensation seeps all the way down to your toes, a bittersweet happiness that arose from the realization that you’ve never… owned things before.

In that village, nothing was ever yours. It was always stolen or taken, never owned.

But now…

Now there’s all kinds of things in your corner of the medical cavern. There’s the little rope of twine with eight little beads Yeosang gave you to fiddle with so you wouldn’t pick and pull at your nails. There’s the bear-hide blanket Jongho handmade when you started to grow cold in the winter nights. A pile of spare clothes tailored to fit your size sits beneath your bed. A hollowed shell of smooth, rich cream sits beside you, specially made for you by Wooyoung and San when they noticed your scars were particularly aching in the cold weather. There’s a whetstone and cleaning tools beside your swords, left there by Mingi when he noticed your blades were dulling. Seonghwa always leaves a myriad of flowers beside your bed each week, and the dried stems of all his past bouquets hang above your on a piece of twine Joong brought you. There’s armor and chainmail beneath your bed, presented by Hongjoong with a shy smile. He cleans them for you when he thinks you’re not looking, ensuring the armor stays in good shape and protects you well. One of Yunho’s thicker tunics lies at the foot of your bed, a staple of your growing closet of clothes. He knows you like having his scent nearby. There’s books too, ones from the medical cavern and ones from Wooyoung, who you’ve discovered is quite the avid reader.

There’s just… all sorts of things.

And you’ve never really owned things before. It’s strange. And quite enjoyable, you decide.

You like owning things. You like being part of Ateez – being part of a family.

With your lips twitching upwards into a fond smile, you stand with the last of your belongings and slide the straps of your cloth pack over your shoulders. It sits a little strangely on your back but you huff and step out of the cavern anyway.

The rest of Ateez is already outside, shuffling the last of their belongings into storage and closing up the cave system behind you. A wooden sort of door slides shut behind you and the viny, earthen cover falls over it. It’s perfectly concealed from the wild, appearing just like any other cropping of rocks and stone. You marvel at their ingenuity and turn to find Wooyoung approaching you with a smile on his lips.

“Good morning, Bug. Are you ready?”

Your head tilts with a question as Wooyoung’s hands shift upwards to the straps of your pack. He raises a brow once, always asking for permission before he touches, and you shift closer and slide your hands onto his hips with a nod of your head. Wooyoung’s smile seems to widen, if at all possible, and he carefully begins to adjust the straps of your pack so it sits better across your back. Your gaze follows his hands, tracing over the fading scar on his one wrist – the space where a rusty shackle used to sit. Your lips quirk happily at the sight of the missing metal cuff, now long buried in the earth. He hums happily at the feeling of your hands on his waist, and chuckles beneath his breath when he feels your hands attempting to weasel under his shirt – likely another attempt to get a look at the tattoo you know sits there.

Wooyoung huffs a breath as you skate a gentle hand over his bare hip, focusing on the wavy shape of an oscillating line your draw over his skin. He translates the word as ‘what’ and understands your inquisition to mean ‘Ready for what?’

“Can’t tell you,” he laughs, his chest shaking with the motion as you squeeze his hip in retaliation. “Sorry, baby. Captain’s orders; take it up with Hongjoong if you want to know so badly.”

Your one eye rolls and Wooyoung laughs again, that bright, cackling sound echoing through the trees in a burst of noise that makes your heart flutter. You like Wooyoung’s laugh.

“C’mon you two!” Hongjoong calls from a distance, already beginning to pace towards the southwest. “We’re burning daylight. Let’s get moving.”

You respond with a choked hum despite knowing your Captain can’t hear it. Wooyoung grins, finally satisfied with the adjustments he’s made on your pack, and turns over his shoulder to call back, “We’re coming, Captain. Relax a little. It’s barely dawn, we’re on schedule.”

You don’t need to see Hongjoong to know what expression the Captain has on his face. A tiny smile appears on your lips and when Wooyoung turns back to face you with a hand held out in offering, his grin beams once more.

“C’mon, baby. You wanna walk with me and Sannie today?”

Your answering nod is a little too eager, but Wooyoung doesn’t mention it.

To you, anyway. The smug grin he shoots over his shoulder at Mingi and Yunho is met with a sigh and an eye roll. The vulgar gesture Mingi throws back goes unseen by you too.

Seonghwa sees it though, and the sound of Mingi’s squawk when he’s slapped across the shoulder by the archer makes Wooyoung laugh again.

It’s springtime. The forest is filled with bright shades of emerald green and flowers have begun to sprout along patches of sunlight. Lupin tickle at your ankles when you pass and you watch their lilac and lavender petals sway in the wind with a fond expression. Your last bouquet from Seonghwa was fresh Lupin flowers, a growing favorite of yours he has noticed.

Wooyoung holds your hand as you walk, sometimes shifting to allow San to take his place. They talk happily as you stride through the forest, following Yeosang and Jongho as they lead your band of warriors through the trees. You still don’t know where you’re going nor why you’re going there, but you trust your Captain and you trust your family.

Eventually, you unlink your hands from San to step ahead and walk besides Mingi and Yunho. San’s resounding pout and soft sigh are lost on you, but Wooyoung slides his hand into his partner’s empty fingers with a grin and a teasing poke to San’s side. Mingi intertwines his fingers with yours with a beaming grin and a happy chuckle, swinging your hands between you as you walk. He points out the flora and fauna he recognizes along the hike, explaining their uses as he recalls Yeosang’s teachings. He mentions the honey-haired healer’s tattoo sleeve of medicinal herbs and shows you some of the plants he recognizes to be inked into Yeosang’s skin. You eagerly categorize the leaves and petals of each plant, hoping that you’ll one day be able to find each one decorating Yeosang’s skin.

The first night away from camp is spent sleeping beneath the stars.

Your group of nine lays huddled together in a clearing in the pines, with a small fire burning quietly in the center for warmth. Shifts for watch are assigned and you find yourself curling between Yunho and San that night with a promise to take the final watch with Seonghwa. With cicadas clicking in the distance and a cool breeze rustling the branches above you, you find sleep easy that night. Strangely enough, despite resting out in the open with no cover around, you find you can sleep calmly. Nestled between your Yunho and your San, their body heat keeping you warm even underneath the fur blankets swaddled around you, you feel safe enough to sink into a well-earned sleep. You know the others will wake you if there’s trouble lurking about. They would never let anything happen to their family.

The next day is spent between Hongjoong and Seonghwa, happily listening to their stories and eagerly nudging the both of them to show you some of the ink decorating their skin. Once you found out about Yeosang’s tattoos, there was nothing holding you back from asking the others about their own. Seonghwa relents with a teasing grin towards Hongjoong, showing you the pattern of large scales that crawl up his forearms. You trace the delicate scales with a happy sound, not noticing the shiver that crawls down Seonghwa’s spine. Hongjoong rolls his eyes at his partner, but he almost wishes to show you the ink decorating his back and spine too. He only waves you away with a laugh when you turn to him with a tilt of your head and a happy question on your lips.

That night you sleep between Yeosang and Jongho, one of your legs wedged between the youngest’s and your hand clumsily intertwined between the healer’s fingers. This time, the nine of you settle in a cliff alcove, sheltered from the fog and the light drizzle of rain that spatters through the forest around midnight.

There’s no telling how far you’ve traveled from Ateez’s hollow. It’s been two days of mostly hiking and stopping for breaks and meals, but you’ve long grown used to strenuous labor so the walk is not nearly as difficult as you once thought it to be. You still have little to no knowledge on your destination as your Captain is tight-lipped about the matter. He only gives you soft smiles and quiet laughter when you nag him about where or why you’ve left camp.

On the third and last day of your long journey, you walk between Yeosang and Jongho at the front of your pack. The two have been leading you for three days, seeming to know the way without needing a map or compass. Every once and a while, Yeosang looks up at the night sky and lifts a hand to palm at the stars. You understand he must be checking your position, ensuring that they’re still on the right path, but you don’t ask. You find Polaris winking down at you each night with a fondness in your chest, and you give her a gentle, barely-there smile each time you see her.

The healer and his partner pace through the trees with newfound urgency that morning. The two members eagerly shuffle through the trees with beaming grins and an energy that you cannot help but mimic. They’re excited about something – unfathomably so.

“We’re almost there, honey,” Yeosang encourages you, holding out a hand to help you scale the final boulder before you begin your descent back down the mountainside. “Just another mile or so, I promise.”

You trust him.

The others have begun to feed on the buzzing atmosphere building in the group. There’s tension simmering, but a good kind, as if there’s something awaiting your family at your destination. You don’t know what it is, but it must be something good if they’re eagerly beginning to quicken the pace.

Soon after you begin your descent down the small mountain, the dense foliage of pine trees and packed soil gives way to something softer – something you’ve never quite seen or felt before. It’s pliable and squishy beneath your feet, allowing your weight to sink into the material with each step. It leaves footprints in your wake, the ground shifting and moving beneath your feet.

Sand.

It’s sand.

You know it’s sand because Yeosang has some collected in a small jar in the medical cavern. You’ve never seen it before: sand or the sea. You found the tiny bottle of eroded stone once and carefully examined it with a puzzled expression until Yeosang found you. The miniscule grains of rock and shell shifted in the bottle as Yeosang explained where it was from.

You listened to him for hours that day.

He talked about the sea and his life as a captain of his own ship from the hour of the sun’s peak until it descended beneath the horizon. You were fascinated. Eagerly hanging onto every single one of his words, you listened to Yeosang with a rapture you couldn’t describe. He spoke of the ocean and the smell of salt in the fresh air, mentioning that there was a particular hint of something so ocean-like in the scent that he couldn't begin to describe. Yeosang described the sand and the shore, detailing how the plush sand like the stuff in his bottle gave way to harder packed ground the closer you grew to the sea. He talked of how it felt to play in the waves and to feel the cool touch of the ocean on his skin.

You marveled at him for hours, longing desperately to one day know the smell he spoke of, to feel the ocean breeze tickle your skin and to feel its waves brush against your feet.

It sounded wonderful.

So when the sand beneath your feet begins to thicken, giving way to clumsier footsteps and the sound of something roaring in the distance, you perk upwards.

Your entire body slams to a halt, startling San who walks behind you. Jerking upwards, your one eye darts over to Yeosang, who stands with Jongho at his side, already looking at you. There’s this look in their eyes; something fond and gentle – an expression you’ve begun to recognize. They watch you as you begin to piece together the information you’ve gathered of this little trip, smiles on their faces as you realize where they’ve taken you.

At your side, San begins to bend forward, his hands reaching out to pull at the laces of your boots and chuckling beneath his breath. You reach out to stabilize yourself on his shoulder as you make a sound of confusion.

‘What’s going on?’ you try to question without speaking.

At your back, Yunho runs a hand down your spine and soothes the tension in your shoulders. You reach back, grasping his hand with a strength that surprises you and draw that oscillating squiggle across the back of his hand with a bewildered expression.

‘What’s happening?’

There’s another word you want to say. One you don’t have a translation for. A word you’ve never spoken or seen.

Ocean. The sea.

You don’t have a word for it.

But you can smell it now. That salty, fresh sort of scent with a hint of something you cannot place. Just like Yeosang described.

The sea.

San taps your leg, garnering your attention and helping you lift your foot so you can place it on his knee. He’s kneeling at your feet, one leg propped up to lift your foot and the other in the sand beneath him. The healer pulls at your laces, beginning to untie your shoes and pull them from your feet with a grin.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” he murmurs with that low timber that makes you shiver. “Let’s get these off.”

Your held tilts in confusion. Seonghwa chuckles behind you, leaning into Mingi’s side and shooting a look over at Wooyoung. “Gotta take your shoes off unless you want sand in the soles, Bug. It’ll be a pain to walk back with all that in ‘em. I promise you’ll never be able to get it all out.”

Hongjoong laughs from beside Jongho, the Captain throwing his head back with a knowing grin. “Speaking from experience, huh, darling?”

Seonghwa rolls his eyes and ignores his lover, dropping a hand to intertwine with Wooyoung’s. The younger eagerly locks their fingers together, smiling happily and leaning his head onto Seonghwa’s shoulder as you process everything.

The others begin to pull off their own shoes, tying them to their packs or holding the laces in their fingers. Mingi laughs and pushes Wooyoung when he bends over to undo his laces, and when Wooyoung stumbles, he shouts indignantly and lurches upwards for revenge. Seonghwa laughs and tries to settle them, only to end up yanked out of the way by a grinning Yeosang. Wooyoung and Mingi screech at each other, beginning to race down the sand towards the roaring sound that continues to swell in the distance.

You worriedly look down at San, his dark irises already looking up at you with adoration swirling behind them. The healer pulls off your sock and carefully sets your foot back onto the sand, watching as you marvel at the plush, cool material beneath the soles of your feet.

“C’mon, tiny,” Yunho laughs behind you, chest rumbling as he speaks. The vibration echoes through your back from how close the warrior is pressed against you. He grins when you shiver pleasantly. “We’ve gotta catch up.”

San lifts your other foot delicately and places it on his waiting knee, repeating the process of taking off your shoe and sock before he ties the laces together and stores them away in his pack. Before he sets your foot back onto the sand, San’s eyes twinkle with something mischievous.

He leans forward and drags his fingers across the skin of your calf, eyes crinkling as he smiles. You look back down at him with your stomach fluttering pleasantly, watching as San leans forward and presses his lips to the side of your calf.

Oh.

His lips skate over the muscle and his hand rests where your thigh connects with the knee. You feel your breathing still. Air catches in your lungs, and some burst of emotion lurches into your throat as you stop and stare down at the healer with one widened eye. You can feel the smile on San’s soft lips as he drags his mouth from your calf to your knee, kissing your skin sweetly as he goes. He drifts over scars both fresh and faded, but does not stop moving as he ascends up your calf. San leaves a trail of goosebumps in his wake, your skin practically shivering under his touch and lighting ablaze when he pulls away.

Oh.

You stare open-mouthed at the healer when San finally slides a hand down your leg and deposits it onto the sand. You lick your lips once, trying desperately to come up with words to say, but there’s nothing. Just the trail of blazing heat San left behind and a roaring fire beginning to spread inside your chest. You can practically feel the heat in your face, and you lift a hand to palm at your cheek as San watches with a teasing grin. Your figure practically vibrates as you shiver through the emotion bursting through you.

“San…”

Said healer mimics your shiver as you whisper his name, fingers dancing along your calf before he stops. He presses one final kiss to your knee, at the crease of the joint, and this time your eye slides shut with a shiver. The plush feeling of his lips against your skin is ambrosia for your soul and the barest touch of moisture is left behind when he finally pulls away.

He looks up at you with honey in his irises, hand skating down your calf once more and smiles.

“C’mon, Bug. We’ve got places to be,” he teases, saccharine timber never failing to make you melt.

As if he wasn’t the one distracting you.

Finally, you’re able to squeeze his shoulder thankfully and San beams up at you in the way that makes those sweet little dimples poke out of his cheeks. You nearly lean forward to caress a finger of the indents that make your heart mushy, but still as the cool sand sinks between your toes.

It’s… soft.

The sand melts beneath your soles like butter, cradling your heels and caressing your skin like silk. You wiggle your toes and awe at the feeling, watching the sand shift and move with your lips just barely parted in wonder. San watches from your feet, his gentle eyes roaming over your partly-concealed face and grinning at the expression plastered across your features. Your lips are parted, but just barely, taking deep breaths to inhale the fresh air of the sea breeze and one eye dilated with awe. San's heart thumps vibrantly beneath his ribs, a song of your name. It calls out to you sweetly, and San swears that when he runs his hand across the bare skin of your leg, brushing over scars and broken skin, he can hear your heart call his name in return.

Your one eye darts upwards to meet your Captain’s gaze.

Hongjoong stares at you with some ineffable softness in his expression. He reaches a hand out to grasp your fingers, helping you step forward away from San. The healer stands from his kneeling position, his own footwear now missing, and joins you at your side.

“You like it?” Hongjoong whispers as you near.

The vigorous nod of your head is almost comical, and Hongjoong chuckles beneath his breath. Yes. Yes you like it.

San beams at your side, unable to stop the mirthful sound of his laughter. It erupts from his chest in that giggling way that you adore. You tilt your head to look at him, your chest swelling and heart thumping with the tumultuous feelings surging within you. San reaches out to run a hand down your arm and you lean close offering a single line of ‘thanks’ across his palm.

Yunho leans forward and pecks a kiss across your forehead, directly over the mask concealing the right half of your face and then turns to walk after Wooyoung and Mingi, San at his heels. He doesn’t acknowledge the kiss, but your heart jumps into your throat regardless. Your fingers itch to follow him, twitching in an attempt to reach for him, but you turn back to your Captain instead.

Hongjoong is still looking at you, that ineffable softness still radiating from him. “C’mon, angel. Let’s go see the ocean.”

You’ve never been more excited.

Hongjoong begins pulling you in the direction the others have disappeared in, following them over the dunes of sand. At first, he pulls your awestruck figure behind him as you make your way through the deeping sand, turning back to watch you marvel at the grains of white and cream colored grains. Your feet drag, slowing the two of you down as you continue to look down at the sand beneath you. At one point, you can’t resist the temptation and you stop, carefully pulling your hand from Hongjoong’s to bend at the knees and drop into the sand.

“Woah, angel!” Hongjoong gasps as you let go of his hand and urgently drop into the earth below. “Careful!”

Dragging your fingers through the silky material, you watch the tiny pieces of sediment cascade back into the hills beneath you as they trail between your fingers. The sand is cool to the touch and gentle as it scratches against your skin. You thought it would be rough, but it’s not. Not this sand anyway.

Seonghwa chuckles behind you, stopping to drop his hands beneath your shoulders and gently lift you back up to your feet. The others are little specks in the distance, just a few hundred yards away. The eldest carefully sets you on your feet and slides a hand down to intertwine with your own.

“C'mon, lovebug. We haven’t even reached the good part yet.”

The good part? You wonder. How could it possibly get any better than this?

But as the crashing sound gets louder with each step you take and the smell of salt continues to grow stronger, you begin to realize what the good part is.

Soon after, it becomes you dragging Hongjoong and Seonghwa through the sand dunes. Eagerly tugging them behind you as you race towards the others, you sink into the sand and stumble a few times, only catching yourself when either member scrambles to grab your waist. You push quicker through the deepening sand each time you right yourself, racing through the dunes until you finally see it.

The sea.

And you stop moving.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa nearly crash into your back as you freeze, body halting at the top of the sand dune. Your one eye is transfixed on the view before you, mouth parted and body slack with awe.

Waves are crashing along the shore, breaking into foamy surf as they collide with the cream-colored sand. There are little birds with thin, long legs dancing in the shoreline, pecking at things in the packed sand. You watch with fascination as they rush away in a flock from an oncoming wave. When the foam finally settles, they return to their feeding grounds, continuing to peck away at something beneath the darker sand. The smell of salt fills your senses and there’s a brush of water against your skin as a breeze carries a mist of salt onto the shoreline.

You’ve never seen so much… color before.

The ocean is blue. Green too, and teal and dark and bright, and every color in the range you can possibly think of. It’s aquamarine in the peaks of crashing waves and a darker cyan in the deepness of the salty water. There’s pale blue, creamy skies and even paler cream-colored clouds. You nearly wish you could reach out and touch one.

It’s wonderful. And it’s so much more than you think you deserve.

With awe on your features and mouth slightly parted, you stare mystified at the sea before you. Hongjoong steps up beside you, the others starting to circle back to stand nearby. They just stand there… watching you for a minute.

They watch your one pupil dilate and your expression softens into wonderous glee. Their hands intertwine with each other, fingers squeezing one another and hearts thumping happily in their chests. There’s pride there, and affection too, roaring madly beneath their skin and calling out to the sea with a throaty, triumphant call.

You like it. You like the sea.

And they like you.

Hongjoong slides a hand down your arm until he can gently link your scarred fingers with his own. Your attention briefly shifts away from the sea to look over at your captain.

His soft brown hair rustles as the sea breeze flutters through the strands, and Hongjoong smiles. Eyes scrunching into a beaming grin, the one that you like so much, he offers a squeeze of your palm. The scar crossing his one eye moves with his expression and you adore the way it looks when he smiles. Chocolate brown irises flicker in the brightness of the sunlight and for a moment, you think you much prefer the color of his eyes than the enchanting blue-green of the sea.

But it’s tough competition, of course.

Hongjoong squeezes your hand once more, fully drawing your attention back to him, and he leans close to carefully grasp the side of your face. His palm gently cups your mask, stroking his thumb over the tough material with a delicateness you cannot fathom deserving. But he touches you regardless, even if it's the mask instead of your skin. Hongjoong doesn’t care that you continue to wear it. None of them do. It’s a part of you, and they’ll continue to care for you all the same.

“Are you happy?” The Captain inquires, licking his lips as he watches you.

The vigor in your nod nearly makes him laugh. His beaming grin only seems to widen and you find yourself stunned at how beautiful he looks happy.

“Yeah? That’s good. I’m glad you’re happy, angel.”

You want to ask something else. Something about why your little clan has ventured this far or perhaps something else, but you can’t begin to find the words for it.

You don’t need to though.

Hongjoong leans closer, his warm, umber eyes scanning your features as he whispers something only for you to hear.

“Happy birthday, Bug.”

You barely register the sentiment before your captain leans forward and gently presses his lips to the crown of your head.

You don’t breathe. Too frightened that any movement will force him to pull away, you stay remarkably still and stare numbly into Hongjoong’s chest.

His lips linger for a long moment against your hairline, and you feel the warmth of his exhale against your scalp. The feeling makes your stomach flutter pleasantly and suddenly your body feels like you’re going to vibrate out of sheer enjoyment. Another shiver tickles its way up your spine and you finally exhale shakily. Reaching a hand upwards, you clutch onto the hand Hongjoong has still cupping your cheek.

Her heart finally throbs with a dull ache.

Your birthday?

You didn’t even think…

Hongjoong exhales softly and bends to drop a second kiss onto your mask, just above where your right eye would be. It throbs suddenly, but not so painfully this time.

Your birthday.

They came all this way for you?

All of this… leaving the camp, walking all this way, spending nights on the road, showing you the sea for the first time… they did this to celebrate your birthday?

Your heart hurts.

No one has ever done that for you before.

You suppose Yunho and Daia tried once… but that didn’t end so well. Salt wells behind your one eye and your lip twitches just once, but it's enough for Hongjoong to catch. Your chest aches with the memory of your mother. It’s a hurt you could never quite soothe.

The Captain’s smile is still bright when he pulls away but there’s a sadness beneath the joy. No, not sadness, you suppose. Something empathetic – something… bittersweet.

Hongjoong knows. They all do.

“My birthday?” Your mouth parts to let out the croaked sound. Your voice has gotten better. The deeper, rough tone of your voice has begun to fade after finally learning to use it again. It’s beginning to return to what it used to be – slow and steadily.

From behind you, Yeosang hums deeply. You recognize the sound without turning to look at him. His voice always carries that undertone of sweet and smooth honey, and you can’t find any other way to describe it.

“Yeah, honey. You told me you’ve never seen the sea, right? We thought it would make a good birthday present.”

The healer is standing behind Hongjoong, San and Wooyoung at his sides and the rest of Ateez just beyond. They’re all here. For you.

You shift on your feet, barely able to restrain the wetness of your one eye as you attempt to face them. Your heart still throbs, but it’s more of a pleasant ache – a good one. A sea breeze rustles your hair. Three silver rings click against your mask; a comforting sound that reminds you of home – of Yunho. The scent of salt in the air fills you with warmth and the silky sand beneath your feet cradles you in the earth’s gentle hands. The world itself seems to wrap around you in its kindness, delicately embracing you as if asking for forgiveness.

It feels like your mother – like the hugs you can barely remember.

The burn of tears returns tenfold.

You’ve never celebrated your birthday before. It was never a day others regarded with joy, so you supposed it was only fair to see it the same way. You don’t even really know what day you were born. Father never told you – he never told anyone.

But… perhaps this day – the day Ateez has chosen for you – can be your birthday. Maybe this time it doesn’t have to be a bad thing anymore.

“We wanted to show you something new. Something good. Do you like it?” Wooyoung whispers as you process your feelings. His voice is apprehensive, as if he isn’t quite sure how you’ll respond to celebrating your birthday. You can barely hear him over the roaring sound of waves colliding with the shoreline and birds peeping in the surf.

You’re already throwing yourself into Wooyoung’s arms before a moment of silence can pass. You crash into his chest with a crooned sound, a desperate cry of joy.

“Yes!” You finally croak, the word sounding more like a sob than an agreement. “Yes, I like it!”

Wooyoung laughs happily as he wraps his arms around your waist, burying his face into the crook of your neck with a joyful sound. His chest vibrates with his laughter and you love the way it feels against your body. One of your hands slides out from between you and you urgently grasp ahold of Yeosang’s shirt and tug him into your pile with a quick movement. San follows soon after, lured in by Wooyoung’s touch and suddenly you’re buried beneath a mountain of Ateez’s warmth.

Another wet sob leaves your lips, but it’s much closer to a laugh this time.

“I love it…”

And we love you.

He doesn’t say it aloud, but Wooyoung hopes you hear it anyway.

Seonghwa lets out a hearty laugh despite it sounding wet with his own tears, and he wraps an arm around Hongjoong’s shoulders as he tugs his captain close. The leader’s eyes are watery as he and the archer pile into your embrace. Mingi and Yunho follow quickly after, with the tallest of the two reaching out to snag Jongho’s tunic. The youngest is already moving, sliding beneath Yeosang’s arm to nuzzle into the healer’s side. One of his hands nestles between his lover’s ribs, resting atop your bicep. You push closer into their hands, warm and happy and still softly crying.

You love it.

It cannot possibly get any better than this. Not even the comforting breeze of the ocean air brushing over your skin nor the warmth of any roaring campfire could rival this feeling. There’s no warmth in the world that can surmount the heat of Ateez embracing you. Their hands carefully sweeping over skin leaves trails of pleasant heat in their wake, and the throb of your aching heart is only soothed by a soft coo leaving San’s lips. Wooyoung slides a hand over your head, pulling you closer into his neck, and you feel a bigger hand – Yunho’s, you know – scratch gently over your scalp. Another settles onto your hip, rubbing gentle circles into the bone. They’re Seonghwa’s, you recognize the calluses on his two fingers when they brush over the skin of your bare hip. Mingi’s hand settles across your back, resting between your shoulder blades. His firm touch and big hands are easy to decipher. Jongho’s wrap around your arm, strong and steadfast, just like you know him to be. Your captain’s smaller hand finds your fingers, sliding between them as you grip onto San with a fierce grip.

Hongjoong’s hands tremble when he twists his grip to drag a line down your left ring finger. His gaze finds yours, a watery smile on his lips when your mouth parts in shock and your one eye dilated beyond comprehension. The Captain finishes drawing the line at the tip of your nail, where each of his fingers meets the end of each of yours. Then Hongjoong slides his hand into yours and squeezes three times.

Yunho must have taught him that one.

Because no one else has ever uttered those words to you – least of all meant them.

Your grip tightens fervently, pulling until you can press Hongjoong’s hand into your chest and let him feel the racing pulse of your heart. It slams into your ribs with a thunderous pace, beating in a pattern you hope he can discern. You pull your head from Wooyoung’s neck just slightly. Just enough to lean down and press your lips to Hongjoong’s fingers.

You hope he knows what it means.

He does.

“Happy birthday, tiny,” Yunho murmurs into the shared space between the nine of you. “We’re so happy you’re here.”

You weep.

Ateez spends three nights and four days at the beach.

On the first, you don’t have the courage to venture too far into the shore. The roaring of waves crashing onto the sand is intimidating when you don’t know how to swim. You settle for watching the others splash and wrestle in the shallow sea. Their shouts of glee are enough joy to warm your heart.

You watch Mingi grapple with Hongjoong on the shoreline, huffing softly with a grin when Mingi inevitably gets the upper hand. The guard lifts Hongjoong over his shoulder and laughs deeply as he storms his way towards the sea.

“Put me down!” Hongjoong roars, smacking his hand against Mingi’s back. “Mingi!”

The guard only laughs and spins the two of them in the shallows as he wades deeper into the waves.

“Don’t you dare!”

You watch as Mingi laughs brightly once more, calling out a “too late!” as he unceremoniously dumps his captain into the sea.

Hongjoong dunks beneath the water with a roar, and for a moment you worry he won’t emerge again. He does, however, and lurches from the waves with an undignified shout and lunges towards Mingi as he laughs.

“Get back here!”

You grin and watch the two continue to wrestle in the waves.

Jongho takes you onto the nearby rocks and shows you the wonders of tide pools. He and Yeosang spent years living by the sea, and he murmurs hundreds of little facts about each of the animals he can find. Crouching down by a shallow pool, Jongho reaches into the cool water and ever so carefully lifts a sea star from the water. He cradles it delicately, leaving it half submerged as he pulls you closer with his other hand.

“This is a sea star,” he whispers, looking up at you and gesturing for you to crouch beside him. “You want to feel? You won’t hurt it.”

When you crouch at his side, Jongho pulls your hand towards him with a smile. Bent at the knees, you lean into his side and watch with a bated breath and marvel at the texture of the sea star still carefully held in Jongho’s hands. It’s soft and squishy beneath your delicate touch and you huff a smile as you watch with a mystified expression.

You watch some of the tiny feet of the sea star wiggle in Jongho’s hand and whip your head over to face him with a question on your lips.

Jongho is already looking at you, watching you instead of the sea star in his hands. He’s smiling, softly and sweetly, his eyes fixed on your one eye. They drift from your left one to where your right would be if not hidden behind the mask, then he drops them to your lips. Your breath stutters and you swallow shyly before Jongho lifts his eyes back to your own.

He smiles, as if nothing happened and continues, “See the poky creatures down here? The ones that look like they have needles? Those are urchins. The sea stars will eat those.”

It takes more effort than you’d like to admit to pull your gaze away from Jongho’s face.

At another tidal pool, Jongho points out a creature he calls an anemone. The vibrant teal and green color of its shape mystifies you and you lean closer to investigate it. Listening carefully to Jongho’s explanation of the anemone, you look back up at him with a question in your eyes.

“Yeah, you can touch that one too. Be careful though.”

You don’t understand his warning but carefully drop your hand into the pool to delicately caress the anemone anyway. The chill waters surround your skin and you lean closer to touch the creature, you let out a startled squeal when its sticky tentacles wrap themselves around your finger. Surprised, you lurch away from the pool, confusion in your face and hands braced on the rock beside you.

Jongho laughs so hard you think he might choke.

You turn to look at him with furrowed brows and an upset pout on your lips, a little disgruntled Jongho didn’t tell you that would happen.

The youngest continues to laugh at the utter confusion in your expression, finally bracing himself against you and apologizing.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, Bug. I couldn’t help myself!”

You frown and push gently at his chest, posing a little miffed at Jongho’s teasing. The youngest snorts and pulls you closer to his chest, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“I won’t do it again, I promise,” he laughs. “We should wash your hands though, the stingers on those anemones can leave toxins on your skin. I don’t want you to touch your face without cleaning your hands first.”

You huff and nod, letting him lead you away from the rocks and towards the others. When you find San, you race away from Jongho and bury yourself into his chest with a pretend pout. The healer wraps you up in his embrace without question, turning to look at Jongho with a raised brow. Jongho rolls his eyes and laughs.

Seonghwa and Wooyoung take you to collect shells in the afternoon.

Your footprints linger in the sand behind you as you hold the archer’s hand and walk along the shoreline. The sand is packed beneath your feet closer to the shore and you find that there are all sorts of different shells just above the water line.

You recognize some of the larger, smoother shells Yeosang and San use to store medicine sometimes. They’re scallop-shaped and hollow in the middle, and the healers like to use them for creams or other ointments. Seonghwa helps you carry some back to the healers who gratefully pile your collection into one of their packs. They can always use more shells in the medical cavern.

Further down the beach, you find a plethora of smaller shells and drop down into the sand to rummage through them. There’s hundreds of them, some twisting into points and others round at the edges. Some are still split into pieces and others are still whole. Some are closed like a locket. Seonghwa tells you to leave those ones alone – there’s still creatures living in those ones. You gasp and carefully set the shell back down into the sand ever so delicately. The archer smiles fondly at your care for the earth and her creatures.

One of the bigger shells that washes up on the shore catches your attention, and you rush over to the pristine, cream colored object. Yeosang called these conches. When you excitedly turn over the shell, you’re startled to find a spiny looking creature inside. A large claw grazes your hand and your heart lurches.

You shout in surprise, jerking away from the shell with a gasp.

“Bug?!”

Seonghwa is at your side in an instant, hands on your back and pulling you away from the shell. “What happened?”

He doesn’t know why you shouted at first, too worried something has hurt you. His hands slide across your shoulders, turning you to face him and urgently scanning you for injuries. But when he looks down at the crab claw emerging from the shell, Seonghwa feels his chest shake with quiet laughter. Your head jerks back to look at the archer.

“It’s alright, darling. You just startled the crab living inside this one. He won’t hurt you, honey.”

Each shell you turn over for the rest of the day is done carefully and gently, and Seonghea feels his heart tug affectionately at how cute you look doing so. You nudge one with a stick to see if any claws come out and Seonghwa has to bury his smile in Wooyoung’s shoulder.

“She’s so precious,” the warrior murmurs under his breath.

Seonghwa hums in agreement, his head lifting from his partner’s shoulder to find you waving them over excitedly.

“We’re coming, sweetheart!”

Wooyoung settles at your side with a grin and looks down at the smooth stones in your hands. There’s a few rocks mixed in with the more ornate looking shells you’ve gathered, and Wooyoung tilts his head in an attempt to decipher why you’ve called them over.

“What’s goin’ on?”

Seonghwa’s heart stutters at the beaming smile on your lips. You smile more and this is not the first he’s ever seen, but each time you look up at him with that grin on your face, Seonghwa feels his stomach flutter and pride swell from his gut. He almost bites down on his bottom lip to resist sending you back a grin of his own, but Seonghwa doesn’t. And he’s grateful he does, because the way your one eye crinkles with joy when he smiles down at you makes his cheeks burn and his skin tingle.

“Look!” You urgently whisper, swallowing around the word to repress how sore your throat is.

Directing his attention to the dark stones in your hands, Seonghwa’s brows furrow in confusion.

“I don’t understand.”

You lift the stone beside his face, pulling Wooyoung into your side as you do. The two of you face Seonghwa as the archer grows more confused. The dark brown, near ebony-colored stone is lifted just beside his temple and you watch with a marveled expression as you shift your gaze from the rock to his eyes.

“What is it?” Seonghwa urges.

Wooyoung grins, his teeth flashing as he laughs sweetly. His two-toned hair ruffles in the breeze and Wooyoung turns to face you, squeezing your hip as he slides an arm around you.

“That’s a good find, Bug,” he murmurs, looking back up at Seonghwa with honey in his gaze. “The same shade as his eyes. It matches him perfectly.”

You nearly vibrate with happiness, wiggling a little in Wooyoung’s arms as Seonghwa’s eyes crinkle. “Really?”

You nod fervently, reaching for his hand and dropping the smooth stone into his hand and curling his fingers around it. Seonghwa holds the rock carefully, not looking away from your one eye as he lifts it to press into his heart.

“Thank you, darling.”

You smile again, just a little twitch of your lips and nod. Then you turn to Wooyoung and weasel your way out of his grip to hold another up for him. This stone is a similar shade as Seonghwa’s, but just different enough that Seonghwa can see where you’ve matched this one to the exact hue of Wooyoung’s umber irises.

You hold it out to Wooyoung with a tilt of your head and Wooyoung has to resist the urge to lean forward and squish your cheeks. He’s rarely seen you so excited – so… at ease. It makes every muscle in his body eager with the urge to hold you close and squeeze you tight.

“For me?”

You nod excitedly and Wooyoung accepts the stone with a skip of his pulse. “Thank you, baby.”

He and Seonghwa exchange looks and Wooyoung slips the stone into his pocket, where he knows he’ll keep it safe.

“Help me?” You whisper softly, gesturing to the plethora of stones and shells beneath you. “For the others.”

“Of course.”

The two help you find six more stones, one of each of the other members of Ateez. Each one is the exact shade of their eyes – colors you know by heart.

Wooyoung cannot tell you that after the trip, the rest of the boys gather to look at the stones and shells you collected for them. He doesn’t tell you that Mingi finds some twine and they braid bands for each other, carefully depositing their gifts onto string and binding them to each other’s wrists.

On the first night, the nine of you sleep around a bonfire.

The crackling flames keep you warm from the evening’s cool breeze, but you don’t think you sleep at all. The excitement and pure glee from the day keeps you awake. Adrenaline still roars through your veins and you settle for watching the stars for a moment longer. You find the twinkling shape of Polaris easily, and whisper your thanks up at her, just like you do every night since Jongho pointed her out.

She winks back.

The fire continues to crackle and the smell of wood burning soothes your nerves. Eventually, you pull yourself from your bed roll, carefully maneuvering away from Yunho’s warm chest and wrap your blanket around your shoulders. Quietly, you make your way over to the massive piece of driftwood facing the shore.

Then, you drop silently beside Mingi, who sits and watches the sea. It’s technically his watch, but the guard faces the ocean as if he cannot bring himself to look away.

Mingi does not startle when you find your place at his side, only shifting slightly to allow you to get comfortable. As you settle, you scooch as close as you can towards Mingi’s broad chest. Your side presses into his as you rest your weight against him and Mingi smiles, still looking at the sea. He easily accommodates your weight and wraps an arm around your shoulder, covering both your forms with his blanket. You snuggle close, burying your face into his neck and continue to watch the waves crash against the shore as the moon illuminates their peaks.

You sit there for hours. Though you cannot sleep, excitement still pumping through your body, you find staying awake with Mingi is just as nice. Far more comforting, you’d even say. Mingi’s body heat keeps you pleasantly warm and his big arm stays wrapped around your waist. Soon after you settle, the guard drops his cheek onto your head and he breathes slow and deep.

Even when Yeosang relieves him of his shift, taking over his place for watch, Mingi remains still. The two of you stay there until neither of you can keep your slowly fluttering lids open any longer.

Yunho finds the two of you in the morning, and he kisses Mingi awake with a sweet grin and soft eyes. He brushes a hand through your hair and drops a kiss onto your head, eventually dropping onto your other side where he wraps an arm around both you and Mingi as the three of you watch the sunrise.

The second day, you finally find the courage to venture into the waves with San and Yunho at your sides. Yeosang stands in the waves, waiting for you.

San leads the way, walking backwards into the surf and holding both your hands. Yunho stands beside you, one of his arms reaching out to steady you and reassure you that he’s still there. You make eye contact with Yeosang and he winks at you. The honey-haired healer grew up in the sea. You know that if anything goes wrong, Yeosang will know what to do.

“Let’s go, tiny. You’ve got this,” Yunho encourages, softly nudging you forward as you apprehensively toe the water line.

You can’t swim. And you’ve never ventured into the sea before.

It’s a little daunting, but the dimples on San’s cheeks and the smile on his lips encourages you to keep walking. You clutch his hands with a vice grip and gasp as the cold, salty waves cascade over your toes.

“Sorry, lovebug. It’s a little cold.”

San laughs as you throw him a withering look. That information would have been helpful before you stepped into the sea. Yeosang laughs at your side, rubbing a hand along your waist and watching you shiver at the warmth of his touch.

No matter how many times they touch you, you cannot help the way it makes you feel.

“A little further and we can stop,” San murmurs, squeezing your hand when you stumble in the sand and pulling you closer. “C’mon, baby.”

A few steps further and you stand at Yeosang’s side, digging your toes into the plush sand beneath your feet and marveling at how the waves lap at your knees. It’s cold, but you don’t mind since it’s a reprieve from the midday sun. When you turn your back to the sea, a strong wave pushes you closer to San and he laughs when you stumble into his chest. Water splashes upwards, and you get your first taste of seawater.

“Woah!” San laughs, steadying you by the waist and watching as you stick your tongue out with an indignant sound. He can’t help the way laughter bubbles from his chest. You look positively betrayed by the ocean, as if the taste of salt on your tongue personally offends you.

Yunho and Yeosang dissolve into giggles behind San, leaning onto each other to support themselves. Your one eye narrows and you shoot them an angry look, but San thinks you look more like an angry, wet cat than anything scary. Of course, he would never tell you that.

“I’m sorry, Bug!” Yunho laughs. “You just look so funny!”

San listens to you grumble something under your breath, something that sounds like ‘showing him something funny,’ and then you bend at the waist and splash a mountain of water in his direction.

Yunho guffaws at the betrayal and San dissolves into his own laughter, bending at the waist and bracing a hand on his chest as he cackles. Your grin is positively menacing, Yeosang decides. He wonders if you’ll become as much of a brat as Wooyoung if this continues.

Yunho, now drenched in salt water and wet hair dripping into his eyes, enacts revenge and lunges towards you. San, ever the sweetheart, throws himself in between you and Yunho and the two sink into the waves with smiles.

Eventually, when your skin begins to wrinkle from the time you spend in the waves and the sun begins to set, Yeosang and you step away from the shore to settle against the same piece of driftwood that marks your temporary camp. Yeosang sits atop the log and you lay just below him on the sand. You lean against his leg, just watching the rest of the boys continue to dance and swim in the surf. The sound of their laughter makes your heart happy and their gleaming smiles leave a grin of your own on your lips.

It’s nice – smiling again, you mean. It’s a gift from Ateez they have not realized they’ve given, but you take care to treasure it regardless.

You wrap an arm around Yeosang’s tattooed calf, your fingers occasionally dragging along the pattern of thorns that descend from his thigh. They wind around his leg, ending at the bone of his ankle and you’ve seldom been able to keep your hands away from the obsidian ink since he showed you. This, of course, is much to Yeosang’s delight, and the honey-haired healer can barely resist the way he beams so brightly when your delicate hands skim across his tattoos again. He loves it when you touch him.

Mingi and Seonghwa leave the shoreline after a few minutes. They step away from the water to stoke the bonfire at the center of your makeshift camp. The flickering amber hues dance along burning bark and release a pleasant aroma onto the beach. You inhale deeply and lean further into Yeosang, humming happily when one of his hands reaches out to scratch along your scalp.

Head scratches have become one of your weaknesses, you suppose. All it takes is for one of them to run their nails along your head and you’ll sink into their embrace with a happy sigh and mushy bones.

When Mingi is satisfied with the roar of the campfire, he and Seonghwa press kisses to Yeosang’s hair and brush fingers over your hairline as they pace back towards the shore.

A harmonious shout of glee leaves San’s lips as Jongho tackles him into the shallow surf, and there’s an uproar of laughter from amongst the boys. San shouts something along the lines of being cold and twists in the waves in an attempt to pin Jongho beneath him. Jongho, easily the strongest of the nine of you, maintains his place above San but spits salt water out of his mouth in surprise when his partner douses him with a splash. In revenge, Jongho prepares to dunk San’s head beneath the water, only to be tackled into the sea by Yunho. The youngest lets out a squawk of surprise as he sinks into the water and the laughter begins again.

You turn your head towards Yeosang, resting your cheek against his knee and looking up at him with your one eye. You nudge him gently with your knuckles, drawing his attention to you.

“Are you going to join them?”

The honey-haired healer barely catches your question over the cacophony in the surf, but he smiles at the sound of your voice. He slides a hand deeper into your hair and scratches against the nape of your neck, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth when your eye flutters shut briefly.

His eyes, chocolate brown and gleaming with the flicker of flames before you, are warm and strong. They look down at you like you’re the only thing he sees – the only thing he wants to see.

It’s familiar. This moment is too.

Shivering gently from the weight of his gaze and bones feeling mushy and warm, you look up at Yeosang and wait patiently for his answer.

“No, not yet,” he whispers in return, expression soft and eyes tender. “I’m very happy where I am right now.”

You inhale deeply through your nose, recalling when he spoke the same words so long ago. The exhale that shudders through your lungs is accompanied by the sound of Yeosang’s deep, honey-sweet voice.

“I‘m happy here with you.”

He finally has the courage to say it.

You look away from Yeosang so he doesn’t see the water welling in your lone eye. The stroke of thanks you brush across his skin is enough to let him know what you mean. The swell of electricity zinging beneath your skin leaves you breathless and you lean into Yeosang’s legs to combat the shift in emotion.

The healer hums sweetly in response, unable to look away from you. He examines you as you watch his partners, lifting his head when another uproar of laughter erupts when Hongjoong overpowers Wooyoung in whatever game they’re playing in the waves.

But when you glance back at Yeosang shyly, you see it.

You see the way he looks at you now.

With stars in his gaze and affection glimmering in the shine of his irises, you see the way Yeosang’s features melt so sweetly as he watches you. He looks at you the way he looks at them; like he’s staring at his very heart and soul – like there’s nothing else in the world he’d rather gaze upon than your face warmed by the flicker of roaring flames and your one eye finally staring back into his. No apprehension, this time. No fear or confusion or worry or an amalgamation of all of them together. You just… look back at him.

Just like how he looks at you.

When Seonghwa and Mingi rejoin the parade, kicking up salt water and spinning through the shallows, the boys cheer gleefully and begin to dance. It’s chaotic and a mess of stumbling and laughter, but it’s dancing nonetheless. The sound of their joy is infectious and spreads along the beach until it reaches you and Yeosang.

But he’s not listening to them. He’s listening to you. His ears are trained on the sound that erupts from his feet, bubbling from your lips in a noise he’s been praying to hear.

Laughter.

You’re laughing.

There’s this bright, heart-stopping smile spread across your lips as you look up at Yeosang and listen to your family dance on the beach. Your shoulders shake softly with the movement of your laughter, and Yeosang can feel the vibrations of your chest pressed against his leg. It starts as a muffled giggle, barely concealed by your smile, but it deepens into a hearty laugh from deep in your belly.

He cannot tear his eyes from you.

You laugh.

You laugh and you look up at him with stars in your eyes and his heart in your hands, and it takes every fiber of his strength not to lean forward and drown himself in the taste of your lips. It’s all he wants – all he needs, he swears it. One taste of your lips would sate him for life, even though he knows he’d never be able to tear himself away again.

When you lean upwards, grabbing ahold of his fingers and pulling them towards you, Yeosang’s mouth parts to suck in a breath.

You kiss his fingers.

By the Gods, maybe that was a lie. One kiss would never be enough to sate him – there would never be enough of your touch or your kisses that could ever appease his soul. Even if he were immortal and your paths intertwined until the last of the stars burned from the sky, not even then would he have enough of you.

You laugh again, grinning up at Yeosang with a toothy smile and the corner of your mouth digging into your mask. If he wasn’t already sitting, he swears he would drop to his knees at your side.

He loves it – the sounds of your laughter. No matter how raw or croaked the sound is, he adores it. The sound of your voice once made his heart race with glee, but this… This is different.

It’s so much more.

This is joy. Unbridled and unashamed and so clearly you. It’s your laughter, your glee, your happiness that sinks beneath his sin and lights his nerves on fire. It’s your smile and your giggles that make his heart swell. Yeosang adores it. He adores you.

He cannot help the way he slides off the driftwood log and into the sand at your side. Yeosang is pulling you into his chest before you can question his actions. He wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls your head into his neck, pressing you as tight to his chest as he possibly can.

“You’re laughing…” he whispers as he huffs in disbelief. “Bug! You’re laughing!”

The second time Yeosang utters the phrase, it’s shouted cheerfully as he squeezes you tight into his chest. His heart thumps brazenly beneath his ribs, and he can feel the pulse of yours against his own. You giggle again, wiggling to readjust yourself as you sink into the honey of his embrace. Yeosang’s heart trills excitedly again.

Yunho’s head darts upwards from the beach, startled by Yeosang’s call.

“What?”

San hears Yunho’s whispered disbelief and stands from the surf, attention drawn over towards you and Yeosang. “What did he just say?”

“It’s Bug,” Hongjoong answers, standing behind Yunho with his eyes blown wide. His heart stutters once in his chest as he takes in the sight of your shoulders shaking gently with your giggles. He can’t hear the sound of them, but Gods does he wish he could. “Bug’s laughing.”

“Holy shit…”

Yunho takes off from the beach without another word. He doesn’t even hear who curses.

Sand kicks up from his feet as he sprints towards you and Yeosang with his heart in his throat and a watery grin on his lips. He doesn’t even need to turn around to know that San is the one on his heels. Yunho knows the sound of San’s muffled sobs just as well as he knows the beat of his heart. Wooyoung is not far behind, a bubble of laughter leaving his lips and a chain missing from his wrist. Nothing binds him to that place anymore. You set him free.

Hongjoong and Mingi chase after the others, and the Captain manages to get some revenge for the day before as he shoves his guard into the surf on the way. Hongjoong’s mirthful chuckles as Mingi shouts are heard when Jongho pulls Seonghwa behind him, urging the archer to move faster.

“Bug!”

Your head pulls from Yeosang’s neck, that toothy grin still on your face just as Yunho collides with you and the honey-haired healer. The two of you sway as Yunho’s weight sinks into your figures, but Yeosang sets an arm down into the sand to support you. The black and white strands of San and Wooyoung’s hair drip with salt water as they throw themselves onto Yunho’s lap with a shout. Mingi follows just after, likely having passed Hongjoong on the beach with the length of his strides. He shakes his wet hair as he clings onto Yunho’s back and Wooyoung complains despite the fact that he’s already soaking wet. The giggly sound of Mingi’s laughter makes you chuckle again.

You laugh, as if it’s as easy as breathing.

Yeosang watches, his eyes welling with happy tears as he continues to cling onto you with one hand. He watches you giggle and the others pile into your space and listens to his new favorite sound.

Gods, he adores you. He adores them – this family.

Yunho is crying, his lip wobbling as he buries his head into your hair. He’s at your back, chest shaking with the sound of his watery sobs.

“Tiny…” he cries, but it’s a happy weep. You reach around to cling onto one of his hands. Yunho squeezes you tight, stealing the air right from your lungs, but you don’t need it. You would happily breathe in the pure euphoria of this moment instead. “Tiny, you’re laughing.”

San buries his wet hair into your lap with a joyful sound and the giggles commence again. The healer’s heart throbs so strongly but so pleasantly he thinks it will burst. You have a laugh that makes others laugh with you. Just like Wooyoung, he realizes.

Your other hand drops from Yeosang’s back to brush through San’s hair once and the healer looks up at you with glimmering half-moon eyes and a dimple poking out of his cheek. You allow your finger to poke the sweet little spot this time. His cheek muscles ache from how big his smile is. San nuzzles closer to your stomach and you let yourself shiver pleasantly, far too happy to deny yourself the joy of this moment.

You’re pretty, San thinks to himself. So pretty. Especially when you laugh.

Wooyoung melts into Hongjoong’s side and the Captain wraps an arm around his shoulder. They stand just behind Yunho, burying their happy tears into each other as Seonghwa pulls them close. Mingi and Jongho sink into the sand behind Yunho and pull each other tight. The taller guard squeezes his eyes shut and presses his lips into Jongho’s forehead, desperately hoping all his adoration is conveyed through the kiss. Jongho reaches out to squeeze Yunho’s shoulder and rests his weight against his elder’s back.

“I know,” you finally whisper into the space that separates you and Yunho. “I’m happy.”

One hand lifts to pull the mask away from your face. Without a moment’s hesitation, your nimble fingers detangle the knot from behind you, and you drop the obsidian mask into the sand. A hand wraps around your fingers when you finally let it go. Someone draws a line along the length of your left ring finger and twines their fingers with your own. They squeeze three times.

You repeat the gesture, tracing a finger down the fourth finger on their left hand, right over the thin, dark band you know is tattooed there. You squeeze their hand three times. This sign needs no translation.

You open both eyes.

“I’m so happy.”

bonus:

stranger: so who would you choose; ateez or–

reader: ateez.

stranger: you didn't even let me finish, ateez or–

reader, not missing a beat: ateez. I choose ateez.

a/n: This currently takes place sometime after the main storyline (probably xD) so it accounts for the boys knowing parts of Bug’s past (not revealed but it’s mentioned they know). For now, I won't consider these oneshots canon simply because I won’t know where it fits in the timeline HAHA xD this is essentially just a little bit of fluffy comfort for those who have been missing Bug and the boys! I’m catching up on their story but I hope you enjoy this filler for now <33 ALSO disclaimer, don’t pick stuff out of tide pools! my marine biologist family is screaming at me for including that xD just leave the creatures alone in their habitats!

sorry if bug seems a little ooc here! Loren and I have decided that bug goes from black cat energy to golden retriever after enough time with atz :’))) This is supposed to take place sometime in the future where she’s healed a little more and is a little more curious and open. There are a lot of references to things that have yet to happen in ltm so this is kind of a teaser for those xD

also shoutout to the loml @eightmakesonebraincell for the majority of the ideas in this :D she's a real one xD

taglist: *If you don't see your name on this taglist, you may have been removed if your tag doesn't work :( let me know if you don't see your name and I'll try to see what we can do to fix it :D

@verseoks @smallfrye @istgcyj @rensunjun @flowrsforfun @justchaoticwhispers @gayliljoong @http-lovelyknow @kpopnightingale @rielleluvs @queentiti72 @paralumanniluna @chittaphonstar @dear-dreamie @bangtanxberm @havetaeminforbreakfast @knucklesdeepmingi @pingyu-in-wonderland @5sos-wdw @atzcoke @ddeonghwva @sophxom @khjcoo @sunukissed @becauseiloveyunho @atinymonbebestay @goldenstarmermaid @simplyaghostsworld @multifandomizer @yeosangs-left-ass-cheek @revehosh @mysticfire0435 @side-angel @taestrwbrry @billboard-singer @jenseok17 @parkthothwa8 @jcngh0-hq @dream-in-progress @dees-writing-corner @frankenstein852 @darkdayelixer @ateezkeepmysoul @maruskz @ahhhhhhhhhghh @honeyhotteoks @simeonswhore @jxxngieteez

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hwasdvlly · 1 year

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Mini-Me | k.hongjoong

✧ summary: it's not every day you get a surprise visit from your beloveds.

✧ pairing: hongjoong x fem!reader

✧ genres: romance, fluff, family, and slice of life

✧ word count: 0.6k words

✧ warnings/tags: none. established relationship, idol!hongjoong, non-idol!reader, married life, the members are the best uncles, cuteness overload

✧ a/n: despite being a hongjoong writing it's also our yeosangie's birthday! this is honestly so soft to read

His little angel is a carbon copy of himself.

She has his doe brown eyes, facial structure, and his cherry lips. Hongjoong loves his baby to the moon and back.

He believes his Heeyoung will be a daddy’s girl when she grows older. The members even debated whether she’ll become one or a mommy’s girl. Hongjoong is confident that Heeyoung is going to stick by his side. She has him wrapped around her cute small hand. It was love at first sight when he saw her beautiful face.

Even though being an idol and raising a kid is difficult, Hongjoong is committed to doing what he loves and staying in touch with his wife and daughter. He calls them his treasures. Hongjoong did joke about it because the saying takes after one of the group’s songs. Overall, he grew to love it because they are his everything.

It’s late afternoon, and the sun is setting. The group has been rehearsing nonstop. As the captain, Hongjoong directs the members and wants an excellent result for their comeback showcase. He is a perfectionist in all aspects.

Subsequently, they have visitors.

Hongjoong’s stern face amends when he sees two special people. You opened the glass door, and Heeyoung waddled inside the practice room. “Youngie!” The guys squealed at the sight of their beloved princess. Heeyoung is also known as Atiny’s little sister.

“Come to Uncle San!”

“No! You love Uncle Wooyoung more!”

“She loves Uncle Mingi the most!”

“Youngie wants puppy Uncle Yunho!”

The four of them bent down to her level with open arms. “Yah! Don’t give her a hard time!” Jongho scolds them. Pure and innocent Heeyoung stares with a blank expression. Her big eyes look at the seven handsome guys smiling at her. With her little chubby legs, she makes her way to hug Yeosang. He laughs cheerily. “She prefers Uncle Sangie!” The man picks her up in his arms.

You walked over to him with a box of delicious cupcakes. “Happy birthday Yeo! Heeyoung and I wanted to surprise you with a gift.” You showed him the sweet treats. His sharp, dark eyes softened. “Thank you so much, noona. And Youngie.” He kisses your daughter on her mochi-like cheek. Yeosang also brought his arm around your shoulders for a hug.

Soon enough, the little family and friends gathered for a short break. “Here you are, baby.” You give Heeyoung a cupcake out of the box. She holds it tight in her hands. “Who do you want to sit with?” You asked her. The two-year-old shifts to see her seven uncles are giving her puppy eyes. Hongjoong is sitting next to you and snickers at his child. She doesn’t know who to choose. But eventually, she moves her feet to go for an uncle.

A smile etched on your face. “And Youngie chooses Uncle Seonghwa~” You playfully dragged out his name. Heeyoung plops herself onto the oldest member’s lap. Like a gentleman, Seonghwa smoothes down the skirt of her dress.

Instantly, the members get occupied with Heeyoung. They would talk to her so soft and gentle. While that’s happening, Hongjoong scoots himself close to you. He rests his head on your right shoulder. “I’m happy for this abrupt visit,” Hongjoong confessed to the love of his life. You can hear the exhaustion in his voice and notice the heavy eyebags on his bare face.

As you rest your head on top of his, you reach for his left hand and interlace his fingers with yours. His ring finger has the item that symbolizes their love, respect, and trust. “I know my husband more than anyone else. You are too stubborn to take a break.” You stated with humor, yet you were being honest.

Hongjoong lets out a giggle that is so melodic. It never fails to make your heart flutter.

#ateez #atiny #ateez imagines #ateez fluff #ateez x reader #ateez hongjoong #hongjoong ateez #kim hongjoong #hongjoong #hongjoong x you #hongjoong x y/n #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong x female reader #kim hongjoong x y/n #kim hongjoong x you #kim hongjoong x reader #hongjoong fluff #hongjoong imagines

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atinystraynstay · 5 months

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Black And White - Kim Hongjoong

Synopsis: Weddings are always happy occasions. You've always loved watching two people showcase their love in such a momentous way. It made you wonder if one day, you too will get married.

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x fem. reader

Genre: Flufffffff, established relationship, long-term dating, talks of the future

Word Count: 2k

Hongjoong sat in the black cushioned folding chair. It was a gorgeous venue. It was an old warehouse that was rented out for the intimate wedding. He was amazed at how the decorators were able to transform the space so rather than feeling cold and empty, it was filled with so much warmth and love to mark the special occasion.

When you told Hongjoong about the wedding, he got excited. Not just to be able to go. To be honest, he wasn't sure if you wanted him to go anyway. Your childhood best friend was getting married, after all.

That is why he was a bit apprehensive about attending the wedding. To an extent, you two were still getting to know each other. He never thought wanted you to feel pressured you had to take the relationship in a certain direction. He was just content with being exclusively yours.

Over the past few months, you have been more introduced to his world. You knew all his friends very well, often hanging out together. Hongjoong has met some of your coworkers when he has picked you up after work or attended the company's holiday party. He just hasn't met the people that meant the most to you, which is what terrified him.

To Hongjoong, winning over the people closest to you made him the most nervous. He could easily go on stage and perform his heart out. Hell, you could say the president of South Korea was in attendance and he'd own the stage. It was his comfort zone. He wasn't even nervous to meet your parents. It was your best friend who terrified him.

And not because she was intimidating. From everything you've said about her, she basically walked on water. The two of you have been friends since you were 11 years old. You've known your best friend longer than he's known his members!

Despite the distance since you moved to Korea, you chatted nearly every day. He was convinced you spoke to her more than him on some days. He wasn't jealous of that fact either. If anything, he was more appreciative and thankful you had such a loyal person in your life. Your best friend championed you unlike any other, and you did the same for her.

However, that is where the immense pressure to win over your best friend stems from. What if she didn't approve of him? What if your best friend believed you deserved better? Would you listen to her and leave?

One thing was for certain is that Hongjoong could not afford to lose you. For the first time in his life, he was experiencing the love he's watched on the big screen. He never thought he would be one of the lucky ones to find such a perfect partner. You constantly went above and beyond for him, and he was trying his best to love you twice as much. He believed you deserved the whole world, and he wanted to be the one to give it to you.

His inner monologue was disrupted as soft instrumental music began to play. People around him rose to their feet, and he followed suit.

You were concerned about Hongjoong being in the audience for the ceremony. He was your plus one, whereas your best friend asked you to be in the bridal party. But Hongjoong couldn't complain. He got the best view in the whole venue.

As if on cue, he noticed the back doors open. He turned to his side as he saw the bridesmaids and the respective groomsmen make their way down the aisle. Hongjoong was trying his best to remember the names of those you pointed out before. There were a few other friends of the bride you, and a few of the groomsmen you knew.

He smiled politely as the pairs began their walk down the aisle. However, he kept glancing over his shoulder once they passed. He just had to see you.

His heart stopped as he could see you behind another pair. You were making light conversation with the man who was walking with you down the aisle. He was the groom's best friend. You were the two people who have heard about this beautiful marriage leading up to this momentous day.

Hongjoong just couldn't take his eyes off you. Your best friend decided everyone would wear the same color - a light blue that some could describe as Tiffany blue. Yet, each bridesmaid dress was unique to the woman wearing it. It was unconventional but that's what Hongjoong loved. He loved seeing all the different dresses each person chose.

Undoubtedly, his favorite was yours. It was an A-Line floor-length dress. There was a slit running up the left side of the dress, stopping at your mid thigh. You were always the type of person who loved the freedom to move around. The sleeves were ruffled, possibly made out of chiffon. It tied in the back, a pretty bow resting against on your upper back. You looked heavenly.

You wore a wide smile as you looked at the groom. You often gushed about their relationship, especially since you were certain from the moment you met the man at the altar that he would end up marrying your best friend.

However, Hongjoong noticed your eyes would leave the altar every now and then. He couldn't help but wonder if there was something wrong if you were okay. You didn't seem tense. This was the disadvantage of not being a part of the ceremony. He couldn't attend to your needs right away.

But when your eyes met his eyes, you visibly became more relaxed. You smiled at him lovingly. And he looked at you like you were made out of the most precious gems. "Wow," he mouthed to you. You couldn't help but blush before turning away. While you wanted nothing more than to rush over to kiss your lover, you couldn't This was your best friend's big day.

"So when is the wedding?" A voice came from Hongjoong's left side.

Curiously, Hongjoong looked to his side away from you. There was an elderly man with a smirk on his face. He looked at Hongjoong, waiting for a response. However, Hongjoong was terribly confused.

"Sir, we're at the wedding now. It's beginning," he whispered, not wanting to speak too loudly to cause a distraction.

The old man chuckled and shook his head. "No, not this one. I'm not that old. I'm speaking of the one between you and your girl. I'm guessing a summer wedding?"

Hongjoong's eyes widened. His heart was doing flips in his chest, nearly jumping out. His body filled with warmth, not sure if it was the nervousness of having to say no or the idea of marrying you that made him feel so tingly.

"We haven't selected a date yet," Hongjoong whispered.

The old man seemed satisfied at the response before turning back towards the aisle. Everyone around him was gasping softly as the bride made her way down the aisle. Yet, Hongjoong couldn't look anywhere but up at you.

At first, your eyes were on your best friend walking down the aisle. Seeing her so content, so happy did your heart well. Your best friend has been waiting for this moment since you guys discovered Pinterest and made boards when you were in junior high. You couldn't help but have your eyes wonder towards the crowd.

To your surprise, Hongjoong was staring at you with the widest grin on his lips. Your chest filled with warmth and cheeks heated up.

Maybe one day the two of you will be at this milestone. You sure hoped so.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Throughout the ceremony, Hongjoong's eyes didn't leave you once. He couldn't help but picture you one day wearing a white dress. Hell, maybe even a different color. All he wanted was you.

The two of you were over by the bar. Everyone had filed in as they made their way from the ceremony venue to the reception hall. The bride and groom were making their rounds to interact with everyone who came to celebrate their special day. For the time being though, you and Hongjoong were soaking up every opportunity to just focus on one another.

"You clean up nicely, baby," you teased him.

He rolled his eyes playfully but had a wide smile on his lips. The two of you were sipping the signature cocktails of the bride and groom. For you, you opted for your best friend's favorite, a bay breeze. Hongjoong was sipping a whiskey sour, the favorite of the groom.

"Have to dress my best when I've got the best date," he chuckled. His lips pressed against the corner of your mouth. He then pressed tiny kisses along your cheek heading to the earlobe. You shivered at the feeling but your body felt warm and tingly, and it wasn't due to the alcohol. Hongjoong always had this way of making you feel on fire in the best way possible through his displays of affection.

One hand rested on his arm while the other held your drink. He wrapped his arm around your body, pulling you in closer. His thumb gently caressed your lower back. You giggled when you felt his breath hitting the shell of your ear. "Couldn't take my eyes off of you, sweet girl," he murmured. For an added effect, he grazed his teeth along the shell of your ear. He knew it drove you wild.

You whined out gently. "Baby, please."

He knew he had to keep himself tame for now. He'll show you how much he enjoyed the view once you were alone. For now though, he'd do everything he could to make you feel like the only woman in existence. Because in his eyes, you were just that. Nothing else mattered besides you.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," a voice spoke from beside you. You pulled back slightly, but not enough to step out of Hongjoong's arm. Not that he would let you anyway. If anything, his grip tightened a bit to hold you closer.

Looking over, you grinned to see your best friend with her new husband. You set your glass down on the counter of the bar. Sensing your excitement, Hongjoong let go of you. And just in time too because you threw your arms around your best friend. Hongjoong and your best friend's husband share a laugh.

She hugged you back tightly before you two slowly let go of each other. Hongjoong wrapped his arm loosely around you but turned to politely address the happy couple in front of him. Maybe it was the sips of alcohol helping his confidence, or the words from the stranger during the ceremony, but the nerves leading up to this day subsided. It felt odd to be the nervous one giving the milestone the couple in front of the two of you just experienced.

"So you're the man who's captured my best friend's heart, huh?" Your best friend asked teasingly. "Well if anything, she's got me wrapped around your finger and I pray every day she doesn't let me go."

Your best friend grinned at the response. Hongjoong up by one point.

The conversation between the four of you flowed easily. Your best friend asked her typical interrogation questions, which made you internally groan. Hongjoong wasn't fazed by any of it. Most of your exes in the best would have frozen and spewed out whatever. Not Hongjoong. he answered honestly.

"So where do you see this going? Because my best friend is the whole world and she deserves it." "And I couldn't agree more," Hongjoong answered. "And truth be told, if you asked me yesterday, I would've said that we are taking it one day at a time." "But?" "But now? I want everything with her." Hongjoong looked down at you, seeing your shocked expression. He couldn't wipe the grin off his face.

"Everything and anything as long as you're by my side." He no longer spoke to your best friend. He was speaking directly to you. Your smile was wide, which eased Hongjoong's heart when he noticed your eyes tearing up. His lips pressed firmly against your forehead before looking at the married couple.

One day, you two will be there. He was certain of it.

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xerotiny99 · 2 months

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―👾 territory one: wicked games.

.MINORS DO NOT INTERACT [18+].

[Misread the info catalogue? Go back to start here]

1.] Attention: Jeong Yunho x Female Reader

#1 Our Precious [slice of life au, college au, polygamy, reverse harem] ╰┈➤ sexcapades of a sophomore year college student while living with eight roommates who are equally freaky as her. What started off as pure physical arrangement soon turns to something more. Storyline following "Moon Angel" (female reader) and her eight "roommates".

1.] 2 AM Call: Jeong Yunho x Reader 2.] Game Night Gone Wrong: Jeong Yunho x Reader x Park Seonghwa 3.] Trouble in Paradise: Jeong Yunho x Reader 4.] Win Me a Bear: Choi Jongho x Reader 5.] House of Cards: Ateex Ot8 x Reader [no smut] 6.] The Lewd Rituals of a Typical Day: Park Seonghwa x Reader x Jeong Yunho x Kang Yeosang 6.1] Feed Me Please, Daddy: Park Seonghwa x Reader 6.2] Down on My Knees: Kang Yeosang x Reader

#2 Guns & Roses [Mafia au] ╰┈➤ a florist, a cop, and a mafia boss; sounds good right? As if nothing could go wrong. Well, think again. Storyline based on mafia au, Jeong Yunho - Mafia boss, Female Reader (Kang Yeonhwa) - Florist, Park Seonghwa - Cop.

1.] Under the Stars, Beyond the Sea: Jeong Yunho x Reader

#3 Loving Professor Jeong [professor au] ╰┈➤ when the love-hate relationship between your favourite professor goes south. Storyline based on professor au, and reverse harem.

1.] Antiserum D: Jeong Yunho x Reader

#4 No Saint No Saviour [psychopath au] ╰┈➤ True evil, above all, is seductive. Yoon Dajung’s (reader) life gets weaved with certain people she never should’ve trusted. Ateez as Psychopaths; really dark and mature.

1.] Room for Two: Choi Jongho x Reader

Ethel Cain Series [2/4] ╰┈➤ my adaptations of ethel cain's songs into short imagines; follow dark themes.

1.] Knuckle Velvet: Jeong Yunho x Reader 2.] Strangers: Jeong Yunho x Reader

1.] Room for Two: Choi Jongho x Reader - wattpad request. 2.] Chasing Stars in the Dark: Jeong Yunho x Reader - wattpad request.

#masterlist #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez smut #chapter index #ateez x reader #ateez x you #ateez x y/n #ateez x female reader #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #jung wooyoung #choi jongho

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pyramid-of-starrs · 4 months

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Faux Locs

Hongjoong x Blk fem reader

Smut under the cut

Minors dni

“Soooooo? What do you think? Cute or nah?” You asked as you shook your 24’ inch honey blonde butterfly faux locs.

Hongjoong finally stopped working on his song to spin his chair to get a good look at your new hair, in the back of his mind he thought about how he would probably have to spend a whole day helping you take your hair down again but he didn’t mind. In your words that was “the sacrifices you make to date a bad bitch” again, your words, not his, but he didn’t disagree. “Are those what you asked me for $350 for? If so money well spent baby you look amazing” he patted his lap. “Come here pretty lemme get a good look at you.” You happily waddled over to sit on your boyfriend’s lap, he rested his hand on your ass.

“Look I even had her add a cute HJ charm in!” You said as you excitedily lifted one of the locs to show him, he nodded in satisfaction.

“Wow so pretty baby, now everyone will know who you belong to.”

“Please like that charm will stop these thirsty ass men.” You rolled your eyes in disgust, you kinda hated any man that wasn’t your man (with the exception of his friends, you loved them).

“Mm, but I bet you tell them what’s up though? Right baby?” His eyes looking right into yours, like he was searching for validation.

“Duh!” You rolled your neck.

“Good job.” He leaned up to kiss you and you met him half way. “How about I show you how much I love your new hair style?”

You titled your head, wondering what he had in mind.

Smut starts here

Now you’re bent over his studio couch, acrylic nails digging into the leather with your mouth saying every curse word you could think of. Hongjoong was behind you slamming his hips into your ass, causing a ripple effect that he loved to watch, with your fresh locs wrapped around his fist. He fucked you so deep and good like he meant every thrust, every stroke he wanted you to feel it.

He pulled you back to bring your ear to him. “Does it feel good pretty?” He said while biting his bottom lip.

“Yeeees, it feel so good baby.” You said while your mind started blank.

“I can feel this little pussy tightening around my dick, you want to cum don’t you?” He always gets so feral when you get your hair done or look too nice.

“I’m so close Joongie, Fuck.” You yelled out, thank God his studio was sound proof, but then again you didn’t care, who was going to check you?

“Cum on my dick baby, I would love a pretty girl like you to cover my dick in her cum.” He said finally releasing your hair to grip your hips and pound into you at a relentlessly speed. The clapping of your ass hitting his pelvis filled the room and your eyes rolled back, a throaty moan leaving your mouth while the knot in your belly popped. Hongjoong softly pushed you forward on the couch and pumped his dick with his hand a few times before he groaned and covered your ass in his cum.

A moment of brief silence with heavy breathing passed and Hongjoong was finally able to stand again. Walking over to grab tissues to clean you up.

“I have a lash appointment tomorrow, i would hate to see how you act then…” you said, you both burst out laughing.

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velvetydream · 2 months

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✎ 🍷 . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Welcome to Aurora - Masterlistˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🥀 ꒱.

Summary : Being the princess of a big and powerful kingdom was not always easy, especially when your father, the mighty king, want's you to marry a prince, just for the sake of the economy.

Was running away from her problems the best idea? Probably not. Was she better off now? Definitely.

Fleeing onto a pirate ship, of which she meet the captain once at the docks, and now being chased by her own father, trying to get her back and execute the pirates that "kidnapped" his daughter, was maybe not a dream life, but freedom.

Pairing : Pirate! Kim Hongjoong x fem! Reader

Genre : Fluff, Romance , Slow burn

Warnings ➵ Blood, Violence.. (More will follow)

Status : On Going - Every Wednesday 18:40 GMT+2

❝ Chapter Overview ᵕ̈

Part 1 -> Meet by Fate

Part 2 -> Take the risk

Part 3 -> The start of a new journey

Part 4 -> The harsh daily life

Part 5 -> The mystery of Aurora [ Comming soon ]

Part 6 -> TBA..

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orshii · 1 month

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Will I Ever See You Again? CHAPTER 3: Bad Decisions

Author: orshii

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x reader

Warning: cursing, violence

Word count: 4,1 k

Summary: You were left alone with your brother, Yunho, and his best friend Hongjoong, after your parents' death. Yunho had someone to grieve with, but you? You had no one as your brother and his best friend pushed you away, singing becoming your only savior. There was one rule that Yunho made inside his friend group: “Don’t touch my sister”. And for this reason, Hongjoong had always kept his distance. But one night, you find yourself in danger. And from then on, Hongjoong does not leave your side. He is suddenly overprotective of you, and your relationship shifts and becomes fraught with tension and unspoken feelings, with secrets lurking beneath the surface and a painful past haunting you. Will you find out the secrets your brother and best friend have been keeping away from you? Will you be able to finally free yourself from your cruel past?

Will you fall in love amidst the chaos around you?

A/N: Uhh...sorry it took me so long to update but I have to write my thesis as well and I hate it...I just want to write anything except that pls:'(...so things are slowly unfolding in this chapter, and they are getting closer a little hehet. I am not 100% satisfied with this chapter but it is what it is. I hope you like it tho. Enjoy reading! :') <3 p.s: I'll try to update sooner, but I can't promise...also listen to this song, as it is included in this chapter. tyy, byee.

Taglist: @bvidzsoo @vixensss @deltamoon666 @scarfac3 @chatsgotmytongue

@xiang-zalea @cookiesandcreammy <3 (taglist is still open)

I was at Mist, sitting in one of the chairs opposite the stage, I was listening as another band was playing, Yeosang was sitting next to me, and we were waiting for our turn. I really tried not to look to my right side as the girl from yesterday night, was clinging to Hongjoong, they were sitting on a sofa pulled next to the wall. I side glanced at them at the same time when Hongjoong leaned close to the girl, grabbed her chin, and kissed her slowly. Suddenly he opened his eyes, just to look at me with fiery eyes, which made my heart rate speed as he still kissed the girl. That poor girl did not know, he wasn't into her. I just locked my eyes with his, not leaving it for even a second, as he imagined me in the place of the poor girl.

I thought of our kiss the other day and to be honest I don't really remember. I have only some little flashbacks in my mind, as he was looking at me, fighting with his thoughts, and kissing me. I don't know, what came into my mind that night, I can blame it on the pills and the alcohol, but if I'm honest I just wanted to play with him. I like to break the rules, and I like to break people, my intention was only to break him because I knew he wanted me, he just couldn't and I made him do it. I don't care if it makes him feel bad, I was long gone in caring about other's feelings. I didn't care about my feelings then why would I do that with others?

Darkness hugged me again as I stepped on the stage. This is the state where I step into another world, leaving behind my problems. When I'm in the dark before the lights turn on, I feel like I'm me, I'm myself for minutes, letting my emotions break free and when the lights turn on, I just give my soul to the music.

I leaned close to the microphone to start singing my feelings out.

♪ There's a war inside my head

Sometimes I wish that I was dead, I'm broken ♪

At first, only Jongho followed me with the drums, sounding like thunder. Then Yeosang joined us, leaving little sparkles behind with his guitar like a fairy.

♪ I'm tired of trying to be normal

I'm always overthinking

I'm driving myself crazy

So, what if I'm fucking crazy ♪

The beat started to slowly quicken as San followed the loud drums giving power to the songs as I sang my soul out, leaning forward to let my voice out.

♪ Just 'cause you say I'm crazy

So, what if I'm fucking crazy

I'm gonna show you ♪

I sang as my eyes met with Hongjoong's, the girl next to him hugging him, then leaning to his ear and she whispered something to him. But Hongjoong looked only at me the whole time, our eyes attracted each other like two black magnets. He was holding a can of beer in his hands and glared into my eyes like he was obsessed with me like he wanted to watch me for eternity.

♪ Loco, maniac, sick bitch, psychopath

I'm gonna show you

Yeah, I'm gonna show you crazy ♪

I sang as Hongjoong’s words echoed in my mind from the night he kissed me.

‘You are crazy’

Loud clapping woke me up, stepping back into real life, as the four of us stood in one line to bow for the crowd. I think this was one of our best performances. I loved it, felt like I was finally alive, and felt like some life crawled through my veins after a while.

As we finished our performance, we gathered together to celebrate. However, our moment of triumph was interrupted when strangers began to approach our table, offering congratulations. We were so surprised by the sudden attention we got. A tall guy came to me and congratulated me as we cheered our glasses together, and when I drank the sweet whiskey, my eyes met again with a familiar one, he stared at me as I couldn't read his face, the girl still clinging to his side.

I lifted my glass towards him into the air, lifting my eyebrow cheering my glass in the air, then I drank the remaining alcohol from my glass, as he watched my whole scene, his eyes sending me red warnings towards me as to stop it. I don't know what cruel game are we playing, but this suddenly seemed like who's gonna be more jealous.

≫The lights were never showing your face

Darkness took over you as fate≪

It's Friday finally, and we were done with classes as we walked home with Yeosang until we said our goodbyes and parted ways. I searched my headphones from my backpack and I let the music flow through my body, feeling every inch of the melody.

The sun beamed down warmly, a welcome contrast to the cold winter that had gripped the town. Spring crawled slowly through the world, bringing life into our little town with some beautiful flowers, the wind blowing away the remaining cold and slowly the sun warmed up the ground giving hope to the plants. Spring is always the time when I think it brings hope to the people's hearts as well. A hope for a better life, a hope that gives you the power to keep going, the feeling of hope, to never give up.

Lost in my thoughts, I navigated the familiar alleyways on my way home, accompanied by the music echoing in my mind. Suddenly all I felt was that I was being pushed against a wall a strong hand on my throat and all I saw was a man in front of me shouting at me, I couldn't hear him as my headphones were still on. My breathing started to quicken I didn't know what was happening. The guy, who still squeezed my neck as I slowly wasn't able to breathe, grabbed my headphones as he realized I didn't hear him.

"Fucking shit are you listening to me?!" The man said angrily, his voice low as he suddenly released my throat. He was wearing a black mask I only saw his dark eyes; he seemed young.

"What the fuck do you want?" I suddenly got some courage to speak as my voice was a bit raspy from the neck grabbing.

"I need you to deliver a message to your brother and his little friend." He stepped close to me pushing me against the brick wall.

I remained silent as he continued. "Tell Yunho that we know who he is, we know whose son he is, so stop doing whatever he is planning to do. Or next time we won't be nice, this is his last chance." My heart started to beat so fast; I was afraid it might jump out of my chest. What did he mean by 'I know whose son he is'? Why the hell did he mention my father? Who died three years ago, not knowing how. Why the hell did he bring him up?

"What do you know about my father?" I demanded; my voice tight with urgency.

"Ohh." He laughed. "He died as a hero, sacrificing himself for you and your brother." The guy smirked in front of me while talking about my father. "Didn't you know it? Your brother kept it from you, didn’t he? Keeping you in a cage to not find the truth." He slowly caressed my checks. I felt disgusted as he touched me. I couldn't control myself anymore, there were too many emotions swimming through my mind, and I just lost control over myself.

"Fuck you!" Adrenaline boiled through my veins as I suddenly spat on his face and punched him with all my strength. He suddenly held his right cheekbone where I hit him, his eyes filling with anger as he pushed me against the wall and suddenly slapped my right cheek. I felt as blood streamed down on my face, just like sad tears.

The guy was surprised by his actions as he stepped back.

"I don't want to do it again so, please tell Yunho." He told me this like he regretted hitting me and just ran away.

I was just standing against the brick wall, slowly slipping to the ground, staring at the opposite wall. Emotion drained from me, leaving a hollow emptiness in its wake. Tears escaped from my eyes, which I didn't even realize, mixing with my blood slowly drying on my face. I just couldn't believe what this guy said.

Did Yunho really know how our father died? Why did he keep it a secret?

Why won't he tell me anything?

So many questions, yet no answers to be found.

Suddenly I felt pressure from my throat as I started coughing, leaning to my right side as my lunch came back, landing on the ground. This brought me back a little into real life as I realized I should go home.

Lost in thought, I resolved not to involve Yunho. With determination, I made my way home, he wouldn't tell me the truth anyway, so I needed to find answers myself. I arrived home and I quickly showered, washing away that fucker's touch from me, the dirt from his hands.

I planned to search for some evidence, for anything which is going tell me something about all of this shit. I stepped into Yunho's room; I knew he wouldn't be home until late at night. I looked around in agony, not knowing where I should search. I thought it was good to start with his laptop, I sat on his bed and opened his laptop, there wasn't a PIN code, he is such a basic human. I searched through his files and opened a few, but there wasn't anything. Just when I saw a suspicious folder, I heard the bell ringing, it was angry, and someone pushed it continuously.

"Shit." I closed the laptop quickly and ran down; on my way, I grabbed a cap and organized my hair so the wound on my cheek wouldn't be seen. Whoever was it I didn't want them to think Yunho may hurt me.

"Coming!" I shouted to whoever was in front of the door, to stop ringing that bell, my head hurt enough already.

I opened the front door and saw a furious Hongjoong standing there, not waiting for me to fully open it, he stepped inside pushing me aside.

"Where's Yunho?" He asked walking around furiously.

"He is working, he'll be home only at midnight," I said looking at Hongjoong as I tried to understand what was happening.

"Fuck." He said running his fingers through his hair and mixing the two colors of his hair.

"What happened, Joong?" I started to feel worried a bit.

He suddenly stopped, and that's when I saw his face. Which was all black and blue, some fresh cuts on his lips, on his eyebrows, the blood long dried. On his cheekbone, there was a slight cut, that seemed to be made with a sharp knife. I gasped at him as I pressed my palm to my mouth.

"Just don't ask, please." He said as he saw my expression.

Fuck this isn't good. "At least let me treat your wounds, please." I looked at him concerned.

He just nodded, so I took his hands carefully to lead him into the kitchen. He sat on the stool next to the kitchen counter, so he was now a little shorter than me. I searched for the first aid kit and when I found it, I stepped between his spread thighs, he then locked me with his thighs pulling me closer to him. I looked down at him concerned when I gave his wounds a closer look, my cap still hiding my eyes.

I pulled out a sanitizer and cotton from the box so I could treat him. Silence took over us as I was pouring some liquid on the cotton and slowly, I reached it into the wound on his right cheekbone, just where mine was. He hissed a bit from the contact, but his eyes never left my face, as he analyzed my behavior. I didn't dare to look into his eyes, I kept my focus on his wounds instead, moving the cotton to his soft lips, which were wounded now, he parted his lips so I had more access to them. When I was done with his lips, I moved forward to his left side, as I felt his hands carefully squeezing my waist. That was when I looked at his hands and his knuckles were bruised as well, from the defending. He tried to look into my eyes, leaning down so he could see my eyes, as I reached the cotton to his red knuckles that screamed, he did not let himself fall for even a second. I hid behind my cap, as I felt his sharp glare.

"Why are you hiding?" He got suspicious and reached his hands towards my cap. "Don't hide your beautiful eyes, sugar." I grabbed his wrist, preventing him from taking off my cap.

He just looked at me, slowly figuring out something was off. I had no time to react when he quickly pulled off my cap, revealing my face, which really wasn't a big deal. But he made it like it.

He just stared at me, with round eyes, looking at the little red wound on my cheek.

"What the fuck happened, Y/N?" He stood up, I saw his body suddenly start to tremble, his blood was boiling.

"It's nothing, really, Joong please, just calm down," I said slowly feeling terrified seeing this Hongjoong.

He stepped closer to me until my back hit the fridge. Cold ran through my back, spreading through my whole body. He held my jaw carefully, tracing his thumb over the little red wound.

"Who did this to you?" He asked in a low tone; I never heard him like this before. Suddenly I felt like I was in front of the Devil.

"Did I ask who did that to you?" I pointed at his wounds.

"That doesn't fucking matter, Y/N!" He shouted suddenly. "Who was it tell me! I'm going to kill them." He hit the fridge next to my head. I squeezed my eyes shut from the sudden impact, starting to breathe heavily. I wasn't scared, I was terrified seeing him like this. But I knew his anger didn't tend towards me. He was pissed because someone hurt me.

"Hongjoong, you are scaring me, please calm down." I looked at him as tears started to appear in my eyes.

He looked at me, surprised, then stepped back from me, leaving me with a cold feeling. "Shit" He rubbed his palms into his face, trying to calm down. "I'm sorry, I don't know what's happening to me." His eyes were full of regret. “When something happens to you, I can’t control myself, Y/N!”

I sighed, feeling the weight of the encounter. “It was a man,” I confessed, unable to meet his gaze. “I didn't see his face, but he had a message for you, " I said looking down at my hands, I tried to remember what he exactly said. "He said something about that plan, to tell Yunho to stop it because they know who he is and shit like these…and…he said something about my dad Joong, they know how he died, do you understand?" I was so confused I didn't even know what was I saying as I started to tear up.

"Fuck, they don't know shit, don't believe them, sugar." He stepped closer to me, to peck my red wound on my cheek. "I think those who attacked me were from the same gang." This was the first time he said some information to me. "Let's wait for Yunho and we'll figure it out." He said caressing my cheek slowly.

≫When your dark side leaves

I'm falling for you deeper≪

I nodded. "Let's drink something." I suddenly offered, trying to break this tense atmosphere.

Hongjoong frowned at me. "Really?" I saw a little smile appeared on his lips.

"Yeah, I think we can use some, nah?" I turned around to grab two wine glasses.

"I guess." He said watching me as if I might disappear at any moment.

Pouring out the red wine, its hue resembling blood, I made my way to the living room with the bottle in hand. Hongjoong followed me and sat down on the other side of the couch. I looked at him, after sipping the red liquid from my glass.

I tilted my head looking at him curious. "Do you ever smile? I never saw you smiling?"

Well—that was a lie, but I never saw him smiling because of me.

He suddenly chuckled at my question. Oh My God, and that was the sweetest melody I ever heard. He hid his lips behind his palm. "Yes, it happens, sometimes."

His face grew serious as he drank from his glass, downing it in one go before pouring another. I did the same as he poured into my glass too. He turned towards me and laid his head on the back of the couch.

"Do you know you have beautiful eyes?" My heart started to race all of a sudden. "It's mysterious like a dark forest." He looked at me with sincerity. I think the alcohol already hit him. It was funny seeing him like this.

"Oh, so you are a Shakespeare now?" I said teasing him. Downing the wine from my glass to reach for the bottle to pour another, he did the same as I poured for him as well.

"I was a Shakespeare all my life." He said as he closed his eyes and smiled. His sudden smile caught me off guard. Was this the same Kim Hongjoong who had been shouting at me just moments ago? "I write music since…I don't know a long time ago."

I was surprised at that. "Really?" I asked as my face showed how surprised I was.

"Yea" He stared at his hands. "I wrote some for bigger companies."

"Wow, I didn't know," I said respectively. "That's really a big achievement."

He lifted his head to look at me. "Thank you."

"Recently…I don't know, I kind of write something in my mind, but I never wrote it down, and… it may sound weird but I hear a melody as well, which I never heard before. I never tried writing something before." I tried to explain to him my weird thoughts.

"It's not weird at all, I had times when I wrote a whole song like that, but as soon as my brain extended it, I wrote it down quickly. You should do that too." He sipped from his glass.

"Hmm, okay I will. I would be glad if I could write a song, it seems fun." I said to him honestly, staring right next to him into a blank point.

"It is, but it has the bad sides too. The process of music-making is tiring. You have to listen to it a thousand times and change a lot of things so that in the end, it is going to be perfect. But it's worth it, I can promise that." I never heard him talk this much; it was strange. I liked this side of him. He looked so soft and nice, with his black hoodie, the sleeves, and the hood close to the color of beige, the hood now on his head, and black sweatpants hugging his legs tugged up on the couch. I felt like I wanted to hug him, which was strange.

"Mhhm, I'll try doing something," I said laying my head on the couch's back, turning towards him. I slowly started to feel the effects of the alcohol, my body was lighter.

"Since when do you sing?" He did the same as me looking at me curiously.

My heart started to beat fast at that question. I looked down on my hands. "Hmm, since I was seven…maybe." Unwanted tears started to appear in my eyes as I blinked them away.

"Your voice is so beautiful; I get chills all the time you are on the stage." He complimented me. I lifted my head and smiled at him. "Why do you sing?” He asked while his eyes never left me.

It was always hard for me to talk about this. "My mother discovered I can sing, so she was the one pushing me in this way. I fell in love with everything that's music, and since my mother died…" I stayed quiet for a second, trying to be able to talk. "After she died, it was my only escape," I said, my fingers toying with the glass, my breaths shallow and uneven.

It was a long time ago since she took her own life, I was only 12 back then, but how could I forget her beautiful smile, as she looked at me proudly every time I sang? Every time I stepped on the stage, I saw her beautiful face smiling at me and saying 'You've got this'.

Abruptly, Hongjoong's presence pulled me from my reverie. "She would be proud of you." He smiled at me sweetly, reaching his hand to my cheek, and caressing it.

I stared at him as if I didn't recognize him. "Thank you."

We stared at each other for a moment. "Does Yunho's rule affect you?" I suddenly broke the silence. He took his hands away from my face, sudden change went through him, as I mentioned Yunho's name. It really did affect him. He turned on the couch leaning against the back, staring at the blank TV.

"So, it does." I acknowledged as I drank the remaining wine from my glass and I stood to put the glass down. As I turned towards him, he lifted his head, his gaze piercing into mine.

As if he knew what I was planning. I walked towards him and slowly straddled him staring into his eyes the whole time. I left my hand on his shoulders as he did not move at all.

"Why are you doing this?" He was struggling I could see it in his eyes.

"Because I know you hold yourself back, for a reason of a stupid rule, my brother made," I said leaning closer to his face. "You can't hold back for too long, Joong." I whispered on his now bruised lips. A surge of anger coursed through me at the sight of his injuries, a protective instinct rising within.

I saw as his eyes got softer, he slowly reached his right hand towards my lips and brushed it with the softest touch I ever felt. He stared at my lips desperately.

"What do you want, Hongjoong?" I grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"I want to kiss you." He whispered a little dazed from the alcohol.

I reached my hands to his face to cup his face into my hands. "Then do it," I whispered into his lips as they almost touched his, it felt like a bad decision, but I couldn’t think about that when that's all I had to say, and he grabbed my waist to pull me closer to him, his lips finding mine finally, and I felt complete again.

≫You complete me like black the white

I complete you like fire the water≪

I didn’t even realize back then how it felt to kiss him, because I'm sure it hasn’t felt like this. Our lips moved together like it was destined together, slowly, passionately. His kiss conveyed a desperate longing as if he never wanted to part from me. I felt his bruised lips against mine, as his tongue went through my parted lips, inviting mine for a dance. His hands slowly found their way under my shirt, running his fingers through the line of my spine, I arched my back from his touch. It never felt so good, his touch was like a sin I could commit anytime. I reached my hand to his nape, and slowly teasingly ran my fingers through his hair, mixing the colors, as his lips escaped a moan, that sounded like the melody that was playing in my head rent-free.

All of a sudden, I heard two car doors slamming. I departed from Hongjoong immediately as he heard the sound as well, looking towards the front door with round eyes.

"Yunho is with his motorbike, right?" He asked looking back at me.

I nodded.

"Fuck they followed me," Hongjoong said as he stood up quickly his hands still holding my lower back. We heard two loud bangs on the door.

"I know you are there, open up or we will break the door." A low voice shouted from the front door, and I started to panic.

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dancinglikebutterflywings · 2 months

Text

You Don't Have to Wait Forever | Kim Hongjoong

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Reader

Request: No.

Synopsis: Y/N wasn't expecting running into her ex would reveal her finding love with her best friend.

Warnings: Mentions of cheating. Best friends to lovers. Angst to start with.

Word Count: 841

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Exiting the KQ building, Y/N is filled with happiness as she excitedly chats with Hongjoong about the upcoming song for ATEEZ’s next album that he’s been working hard on. As an assistant for the Edenry team, she gets a firsthand experience of the creative process involved in writing and producing a song.

However, her happiness quickly fades as she suddenly stops in her tracks. Approaching her is someone who, not even three weeks ago, had his arm around her, looking at her the same way he now gazes at the new woman in his arms.

Hongjoong notices the change in Y/N's demeanour and looks at her with confusion. He follows her gaze and sees the cause of her distress - her ex-boyfriend, who ended their relationship just two weeks ago. The ex-boyfriend stares back, his eyes filled with a mixture of surprise and guilt, causing Hongjoong to roll his eyes in annoyance. He knows that her ex is aware of where she works and has no valid reason to be in this part of town.

As the realization of their breakup sinks in, Y/N's heart sinks with it. The memories of their relationship now feel tainted by the betrayal she had been blind to. After the breakup her friends mentioned the possibility of another woman, but she brushed them off, convinced her ex wouldn't stoop so low to cheat on her. Now seeing the truth, that her friends had been right, the signs of his cheating were clearer than ever. The signs had been there all along, hidden beneath the facade of fading love.

Hongjoong, sensing her inner turmoil, places an arm around her and squeezes her shoulder gently. His silent gesture reassures her that she is not alone, as he stares down the new couple with a determined gaze.

Her ex, to his credit, appears ashamed as his guilt-ridden eyes shift from Y/N to the ground. On the other hand, the woman beside him exudes an air of smug satisfaction, tightening her grip on Y/N's ex's arm and wearing a victorious smile.

"Jagiya, how about we try out that new restaurant for lunch," Hongjoong says loudly for all to hear as his arm moves from her shoulder to her waist, pulling her closer. "You know the one that you told Seonghwa you wanted to try."

Y/N looks at him, stunned and confused but she puts a on a smile and nods her head. "That sounds perfect."

As they walk away from the awkward situation, Y/N feels a wave of gratitude towards Hongjoong. His unwavering support and protective nature mean so much to her.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N apologizes as they eat their meals at the restaurant Hongjoong had mentioned. She’d been a little surprised that Seonghwa had mentioned to him that she wanted to try this restaurant.

“For what? Seeing your ex again? You don’t have to be sorry about that,” he assures her.

“He just took me by surprise. When he broke up with me all he said was that he didn’t love me anymore. I’m so stupid, I should have known there was more to it. She’s so pretty. No wonder he cheated with her.”

“I think she’s pretty average,” he tells her with a shrug. “You’re way prettier than her and he’s a fool. I don’t get it. If you were mine, I would never cheat on you. I wouldn’t even think about it.”

Y/N's widened eyes widened as her cheeks flush red unable to find words to say.

"I'm not saying, give me a chance right now. You still need to heal, but when you're ready and if you want to, I'm here and waiting," he says reaching over to take her hand in his. "I'd wait forever for you."

Y/N's heart began pounding in her chest, thoughts racing around in her mind as she tries to process his words. She and Hongjoong have always been close since they met three years ago. He had quickly become one of her closest friends. There had maybe been a time or two where she questioned why she was with her ex and not him. Maybe it had been because her ex was familiar and safe. They'd been together since they were 18. He'd been her first love. They had their future planned together. Hongjoong was vastly different. And as soon as those thoughts entered her mind, they quickly left.

She could feel the warmth of his touch seeping into her skin, calming her racing heart. As she looks into his eyes, she sees a sincerity that she had never seen before in his eyes. In that moment, she knew that she didn't want to dwell on her ex and what he had done.

Without hesitation, she intertwines their fingers together. In that simple gesture, she knew that she was making the right choice, choosing to embrace the love that was right in front of her all along.

Smiling at him lovingly, she says, "You don't have to wait forever."

TAGGED: @staytiny2000 - @dancelikebutterflywings - @kpopmenace143 - @treehouse-mouse - @alexxavicry - @jedi-dreea - @rainydayteacups - @green-agent - @tinyelfperson - @yeonjunnie – @hollxe1 – @laylasbunbunny – @deltamoon666 - @skz1-4-3 - @pinkies-things

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ja3hwa · 5 months

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♡ 𝐃𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐀 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐏𝐭.𝟐 | 𝐊.𝐇𝐉 ♡

【Synopsis】 : The more he tasted you. The more he was becoming obsessed. And he was treading in dangerous waters, no longer caring about the consequences.

『Word count』 : 2.10k

-> Genre: Smut with little plot. Fluffy. DBF au.

Pairing: Dilf!Hongjoong x Park!Reader

[Warnings] : Fingering. Dirty talk. Pet names. Insecurity about sexual experience. Inexperience reader. Kinda late-bloomer reader. Mention of sex. This is filthy… Hongjoong is in his late 30s while the reader is 23. Hongjoong teaches the reader… I was high when I wrote this, so ignore any mistakes. It not my fault.

Note: Part two is done and dusted since you absolute filthy sinners needed more Dilf Hongjoong. Also, special tags to @mingis-prince @trishu-paper209 @itza-meee for asking for a part two. Enjoy ♡♡♡

Masterlist | Navigation | Part One | Buy Me A Ko-Fi

“Aren’t you gonna help me, sir.”

Hongjoong’s brain couldn’t function, let alone take in what you had said. He could feel the way your cunt clenched around his fingers, your gummy walls so warm and welcoming. He could cum again just by the thought. Your hips were rolling, slowly riding his thick digits. He gulped sharply from what he was witnessing. You, Seonghwa’s sweet innocent daughter, riding his fucking fingers like your life depended on it. “Fuck baby, I might just cum right now.”

He felt no shame in spilling his filthy words to you, something about this already felt so dirty so why not just keep adding fuel to the fire? He shuffled back, making sure not to move his hand that was buried between your thick thighs, using his free hand to pull you closer by your waist. You hiccuped out this name, the movement making your whole body tingle. “D-daddy…”

“What did you just say?” You were both shocked, stilling your movements completely you felt a wave of embarrassment. You didn’t mean for it to slip out, truly, but oh did it feel so right. Hongjoong’s eyes darkened, pulling his fingers out of your soaking pussy, he chuckled, manhandling you until you were perfectly perched on his lap. He can feel your slick seeping through your panties, coating his boxers slightly. “Say it again, Angel. Who am I?”

“D-Daddy…” You whimpered feeling so small.

“Fuck.” He tipped his head back for a moment, questioning how the fuck he was going to restrain himself now when you are over here calling him daddy. “Are you tryin’ kill me here angel?”

He looked back in your direction seeing your eyes wide and curious, waiting so patiently for your next instruction. So he kept his right hand on your hip while he snaked the left behind your head, tugging you closer until your lips were only inches from his. You could feel his hot breath tickling your nose, the smell of the whiskey he was drinking earlier tonight with his friends and your father… his best friend. This was so dangerous, a part of you was screaming to back away now before anything else happened. But how could you move away now, when you were so close to finally getting what you always wanted…

When you first met your father's friends, Hongjoong wasn’t there. You met San and his partner Wooyoung. And his younger friends Jongho, Mingi, and Yeosang. And spilt drinks on his army friend Yunho. But Hongjoong… he was a mystery. No one spoke about him or what importance he had. All your father would say was they’ve known each other for a long, long time. But grew apart from the war they both served in and worked. But now he’s back and man photos did not do him justice. He was charming, playful and fucking smoking hot. His tattooed left arm made your head dizzy and when he went swimming you got a front-row show of his amazing body. You became wetter than anyone in that pool, that’s for sure.

“If we do this I won't guarantee I’ll let you go.” Hongjoong’s words were desperate and his heart was aching. He knew this was going to cause a lot of drama and most definitely your father killing him but you are worth it.

“Please Joong…” There it was. The words that started this whole drug trip of a night. Two, breathy, whimpering words. Calling for him. Begging for him. His lips were against yours in seconds, his hand tightly tucked on the back of your neck, making it impossible to slip away. His tongue was relentless, sliding over yours with such power and dominance. Your hands found place on his clothed chest, tangling your fingers in the soft cotton. Your hips began to move again, grinding harshly on this cock. His bulge hitting just the right spot making you squirm. “please, please, please.”

Your chanting against his mouth made him grunt, moving his legs so he could tip you both so you were on your back. Your head would be almost hanging off the end of the bed if Hongjoong hadn’t yanked you by your thighs so you could sprawl in the middle of the double mattress. You watch intensely as he tugged his shirt off, leaving himself in his boxer. You could finally take in the scars he had littered all over his body. Bullet wounds, stab marks. All beautifully painted his body. He had been through war, literally. You could almost forget with how calm his demeanour is twenty-hour-seven. “Can I take these off gorgeous?”

His questions drew you out of your thoughts suddenly, noticing he had his fingers under the hem of your panties. You nodded eagerly feeling yourself tense up. All your previous self-confidence was slowly slipping away... No one has ever seen you naked must less fucked you, and you weren’t about to let Hongjoong find out. The embarrassment you’d feel, being almost twenty-three and still never having sex. Sure you’ve masturbated and used toys but being intimate with someone was unexplored territory. He slipped them off with the help of you lifting your hips. Once they were tossed aside he could take in your spread legs, and glistening sex. God, as if you couldn’t get any more beautiful here you were. “Fuck baby, you gonna let me eat you? Fuck this pretty pussy? You’ll have to be quiet, hmm.”

“Oh god…” You couldn’t help but reel over the idea of his tongue on you. Your body shaking just over the idea. Your breathing became faster, your lungs…tightening. Fuck, why do you feel so dizzy? So…Anxious. Hongjoong noticed almost immediately, hovering over you so he could cup your cheek with his tattooed hand while the other held him up.

“Hey, Hey what’s wrong princess? Talk to me?” There’s the guilt. The sudden twang in his mouth. and As he saw a tear escape from you, he knew he had done something wrong. “Oh, I’m so sorry. What happened?”

His soothing voice was calming, slowly but surely lessening your heart rate. What you didn’t expect was to see tears in his eyes once you opened your own. It went silent, Hongjoong was waiting for you to respond. Your shaky hand glided up his chest before snaking to hold just behind his neck. “No, No. It’s okay keep going.”

He immediately sat up, bringing you with him. He let out a huff, helping you shift yourself until you were comfortable on his lap…again. “No, I need to know what I did.” His voice was firmer this time, authority-like. It reminded you just how different in age you both were. He was in such a different time in his life while you. You were still learning, exploring. You weren’t someone he could possibly want… right?

A thought danced across Hongjoong's mind for a moment and he couldn’t help but feel so stupid. “You’re a virgin…” He said it more like a statement rather than a question. You gulp, shakily nodding your head in shame. Of course, he can tell, he is sixteen years older than you for god sake. “Hey sugar, it’s okay. Theirs nothing wrong with being a virgin.”

“There’s not…” You whimpered against his chest, feeling like such an idiot. You were crying, while naked on the guy you’ve had a crush on since you first saw a picture of him, only to realize that it’s okay that you’ve never had sex.

“No baby. It’s not…” Fuck, I’m gonna scream. Was what he wanted to say. He couldn’t care two shits if you were a virgin for you had slept with unlimited men. Sure, the idea of being your first, showing you what you hadn't experienced yet, and helping you through as many orgasms as he could give you in one night, was the most erotic news. But he cared about you. He didn’t want your first to be quiet, hushed away in a tiny ass room, on a tiny ass bed. No, he wanted your first to be memorable, loud, and fun. He wanted to show you how to make sweet love before pounding your cunt like he fucking hated you. He wouldn’t admit this to him just yet but he had fallen hard, from the moment you stepped out of your car. With a bright loving smile, kind eyes, and a beautiful Sun dress.

You sat up to look at him. Your glassy eyes from crying couldn’t barely see. Vision blurring through tears. He nudged his nose against yours, stroking your hip before sweetly, comfortingly. You inched your lips close until your top lip just grazed his before whispering. “I-I’m a virgin…” you felt like you had to say it, confirm it. His demeanour didn’t alter, or so much as flinch when you finally answered, cause he was telling the truth. He didn’t care how experienced or inexperienced. All he cared about was how you feel.

“Sweet thing…” He murmured but your lips sealed on his. This time the kiss was soft and gentle. His hands tugged against your hips, rocking you slightly backward. You let your body weight fall back, taking Hongjoong with you. Your lips never broke. His hips sat snug against your bare core, only his boxers separating you two. It was moderate at first, just a simple steady pace. But as you left little moans here and there, his speed would pick up. Until he was humping you harshly. His grinds hit your perfectly, feeling the shock of the silky fabric brush roughly against your sensitive clit.

His cock was full hard now, groaning himself at the feeling of you against him. There was something about humping you with a piece of clothing in between so erotic, dirty. He had never felt more like a horny teen than he had now. You had such a hold on him, a way with words. You could do anything to him and he would say thank you. And now he was going to bust a nut in his boxers just from rubbing against you. “Fuck this feels so good baby. I’m gonna cream in my fucking shorts.”

“Fuck, don’t s-say stuff like that.” His words made you clench around nothing, wanting nothing more than his cock inside you. Or even his fingers, at this point either part of him would do.

“Don’t say stuff like that, hmm.” He grunted picking up the pace in his thrusts. “But I can’t it. Not when I have such a gorgeous woman underneath, soaking me with her silk. You wanna come again, baby? Please, come for me, angel.”

His blabbering and whines made you throw your head back in a high-pitched squeak. All your nerves are on fire, feeling like you were an old fuse box crackling over heavy rain. Your eyes, sewn shut and your fingers nails digging into his shoulders. He was so close and he could tell you were too. Lifting up your leg so he hung on a higher part of his waist so he could ground down at the perfect angle, knocking the wind outta you quickly, seeing white.

He stilled, cumming all over himself. Some seeping through the fabric smearing no your inner thighs. You had no feeling in your legs, and your mind was like TV static, fuzzy, tiring. Hongjoong slipped away for a moment, coming back in a fresh new pair of boxers and a clean damp towel in hand. He wiped you all the semen he could, before helping you into a new pair of underwear, tucking you back on your own bed. He kisses your forehead, having drifted off only moments ago.

He knew he wasn’t going to fuck you tonight. But as he slept he thought about ways to make your first time perfect. He would think of a place, and time. Does he take you out to a restaurant or would you prefer home cooked? He would think about how you’d like to be fuck, positions, styles. He was going to definitely fuck you on every surface of his place. And as he snuck off to the bathroom for the fourth time tonight having to adjust or end up fixing, his problem, he knew he was most likely a dead man. And he was going to enjoy every moment of it.

Part Three

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proudahgase-exol · 3 months

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I’m not longer your muse?

Hongjoong x reader

Summary: Overhearing a conversation between Hoonjoong and a girl he was working with, made you to notice a change in their relationship and perhaps the end of yours thinking he likes her more than you.

Your pov:

When I started dating Hongjoong, I knew that he would be busy most of the time, but what I didn’t know was that he would want to be around even when he was busy. As the relationship progressed, he became more comfortable telling me about his problems and insecurities. He also started to share his work with me. When he was working on a song, he would ask for my opinion, wanting to know what I thought.

When he is stuck on a song, he will ask for my advice. When he wasn’t inspired by writing a song, he would ask if I could accompany him. He called me his muse multiple times and told me he would just look at me or talk to me, and he would immediately get inspired.

Now, lately, I have seen that change. Since he began working with this new girl, he rarely calls me or texts me; he also doesn’t call me to ask if I could visit him at the studio.

I guess he was busy with this new project, and you understood. But as the days passed, I didn’t hear from him. The only way I got any updates on him was from Seonghwa, who would tell me what Hongjoong was up to. I didn’t think anything bad about him spending time with this new girl; I understood it was his job.

But when the song came out, I thought everything would go back to normal, but I was wrong. I mean, he did text back, but his replies were short; he would call just to say good night or to apologize for not being able to talk for longer.

It made me sad because, from what Seonghwa told me, he had more free time; he wasn’t that busy, and again, I didn’t think anything of it.

—

A few days ago, I had a talk with the boys, and San asked if I could make him one of my special desserts since it’s been a while since I made them anything, and I agreed. I also made them a meal that I knew they would love.

After spending a few hours preparing the delicious food, I packed everything and made my way to the KQ building. I had found Mingi walking in the lobby, so I ran to him. He told me Hongjoong was in the studio and the rest were in the dance practice, so he walked me to the dance practice so I could give him and the boys their food before going to Hongjoong’s studio.

After I give the boys their food, I make my way down to Hongjoong’s studio. I was so excited to see him. It's been a while since we last talked. When I got near his door, I noticed it was cracked open. I could see him sitting and chatting with this new girl, and as I got closer, I could hear what they were talking about.

I wasn’t trying to spice things up for them, but when I heard my name being mentioned, it got me curious, so I stayed silent and heard what they were talking about.

"Yeah, yeah, it’s alright and all, but she doesn’t really understand the music industry like you. I try to teach her, but she just doesn’t understand." Hongjoong said with a sigh.

"Well, you have me if you ever need someone to understand you. I mean, we have been working for a while now, and we understand each other perfectly,” she said as she rubbed his arm.

"Yeah, since I started working with you, I've had a lot of inspiration. It’s like your personality gives me inspiration, a new kind that Y/N doesn’t give me, and this is what I needed,” he replied, laughing.

“I’m so glad we understand each other since we have been working together. I've seen that you kind of like having me around more than your own girlfriend,” she said in a teasing tone.

"Yeah, that’s kind of true with you. I can talk about things she doesn’t understand, and let’s not mention the fact that we have the same interests. I like hanging out with you." Hongjoong said, smiling.

"Hey, we should go out to have dinner again. The new restaurant you took me to last Friday was amazing,” she said excitedly.

"Yeah, of course, let’s finish this up, and we can go there,” he said, getting back to work.

As I listened to them, it made me realize that, in fact, he hasn’t been spending much time with me, always claiming to work late when in reality he’s gone out with me. I also realize that their relationship has changed from being professional to being weary to friendly.

I was so heartbroken hearing him talk about how much better she was at understanding him than me; it broke me and made me feel stupid.

I understand I might not know much about being a music producer or music in general, but I try to understand him and learn from him. I tried so hard to the point where I had to beg Seonghwa to teach me a few things so I could surprise Hongjoong just by having him say that about me.

As I looked at them one last time, I noticed how close she was to him and how he didn’t push her away from him. It hurt me to see them, so I just left. I placed the lunch bag in front of the door, and I walked away, trying to keep my tears from falling.

As I was walking out of the building, I saw the Ateez manager walk up to me and ask if I was leaving so soon. I just smiled at him and walked away. I just wanted to leave as soon as possible.

—

Once I got one, I broke down crying, thinking about my relationship and whether I was even good enough for Hongjoong. I thought back to our relationship: was I really his muse, like he claimed I was? Is he tired of me? Did he want someone who understood him perfectly? All those questions started to come to mind.

After a few hours of crying, I went to take a shower rather than take a nap. I was tired of crying, and I needed a nap.

The next morning, I got a message from Seonghwa asking if I got to talk to Hongjoong.

Haw💗: Hey, did you get to talk to Hongjoong?

Me: No, he was busy.

Haw💗: Welll you can try again today. We got off early, so you cancome overr.

Me: I don’t think he will be free. I mean, I guess he’s busy with his new friend.

Haw💗: I’ll convince him to hang out with you don’t worry.

Me: No, it’s okay. I just wish he would want to hang out with me instead of her and own his own account, not having to be asked to...

Haw💗: I swear, he’s kind of stupid sometimes he’ll come around. Don't worry.

Me: I hope that when he does, it’s not too late.

Haw💗: hey! have some faith he can be obvious a times, but he’s a good guy.

Me: If you say so, anyway, I’m going out with my friend, so talk to you later.

Haw💗:Okay, have fun.

Right after I was done texting Seonghwa, I called a friend of mine to see if she wanted to do something, and she agreed. I needed to get my head around Hongjoong, and I knew she would keep me busy.

We had agreed to go to the mall, so she had picked me up, and once we arrived, we went to our favorite stores, and we were having a good time. Then we went to get a bubble, and we got our drinks. I heard a voice that I could recognize anywhere, so I looked for it, and then I found it.

It was Hongjoong and his friend; they were here at the mall, laughing and acting way too friendly. What got me confused was that Seonghwa said that they would be off early and that they would be at the dorms, so why was Hongjoong here?

I was standing there, just looking at him with a hurt and betrayed look on my face. I just understood why he was spending so much time with her instead of me, his girlfriend.

Then I saw him turning around with a smile on his face. He looked up to me, and his smile slowly started to disappear once he saw the expression on my face. I saw him walking my way, but I turned around and called for my friend, telling her it was time to go.

After we had left the mall, my friend dropped me off at my house and left, telling me to call her once I was cool off.

Twenty minutes didn’t pass when I heard a knock at the door, and I immediately knew it was Hongjoong. As much as I didn’t want to open the door, I did because I wanted an explanation. I wanted to know if our relationship was over.

Once I opened the door, I moved aside so he could get in rather than close the door. I watched in silence as he took his coat and shoes off and walked into my living room.

He sat down and gestured for me to do the same, and I did, but on the other side of the couch, not wanting to set him up. The room got quiet, but then he started talking.

"Hey, it’s been a long time. I haven’t seen you in a while,” he said nervously.

“Why are you talking nervously? Had you done something wrong? You only talk like that when you know you're in trouble,” I asked, ignoring what he had said.

"Well, I don’t know what I did; I just know that you're upset with me,” he said, looking at me.

“You got to be fucking kidding me,” I said under my breath.

“So why are you mad? By the way, I got your food. The trout was delicious, and I also like it,” he asked, smiling.

“Is it always going to be about her? If so, please save this bullshit and get out of my place,” I reply, pissed.

“What? What are you talking about?” He asked, confused.

“Every time you started to work with her, everything was about her. All the conversations we had were about her. I asked, raising my voice.

"Wow, calm down. Why are you so mad at her? She did nothing wrong,” he said, defending her.

"See, here we go again. Look, let’s save each other time and end this here. I overheard what you told her. I heard when you told her that she was your new muse and how she understood you better than I did, so if you love her so much, please leave and never come back. You are just hurting me." I said I was trying not to show my pain. Through my voice

“You were there? So you went to leave the food? Why didn’t you walk in?” He asked, surprised.

“San had asked if I could make his favorite dessert, and I thought, Why not make you all some food that will give me the excuse to come see you? But you were already busy and talking badly behind my back, so I just left, and now I want you to live. If you're just going to ignore the problem, please go back to her since she seems to understand you.” I said, getting up from the couch and walking to my bedroom.

After a few seconds, I heard the front door open and close, letting me know he had chosen her. I just sat down on my bed and broke down crying, knowing he actually chose her over me. He chose down; he just met over some, and he knew longer.

After crying for an hour or so, I fell asleep. I didn’t have the energy to do anything. I felt miserable. I felt lost and hopeless, so I just fell asleep.

Hongjoong pov:

After I left your place, I walked back to the dorms, and once I walked in, San and Wooyoung came running, asking where I was and if you were with me, but once they saw I was alone, they went back to the living room, and Seonghwa asked if we could talk.

We went to his room, and he closed the door and asked me to sit down, and with a very serious tone, he asked where I was.

“Where were you?" He asked, “Were you with me?" Did you know she wanted to see you for so long?”

“How do you know she did? How much time have you been spending with her?” I asked, annoyed.

“Since you started to ignore her and since she asked me to help her on something,” he answered.

“Why had she wished you to help her? Why can’t she come to me if she needs help?” I asked, pissed.

“She’s been seen that you would rather spend time with your new lady friend instead of her; she also doesn’t have many friends, and she chooses to hang out with me; she also wanted to surprise you, idiot,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“What do you mean surprised me?” I was confused.

“She wanted to show you that she can understand your work and that she can help you when you are stuck on a song. She wanted to show you that she understands the music industry. She came to me for help to surprise you. She came and asked. I said no; I want you to help her, but she needs begging, so I agree." He replied, raising his voice.

“She really begs you to teach her.” I asked in surprise.

"Yes, and right before you got here, she texted me, telling me that she thinks you guys broke up. She told me that she would mess with the boys and me. So tell me, did you really end the relationship with this new girl? Was she worth your relationship? Was she worth hurting? Was she really better than you?" He kept asking as he walked back and forth angrily.

“She thinks we broke up.” I asked Desbelove.

"Yeah, I would too if I were her. You know you could be a better boyfriend if you just paid a little more attention to what she was doing and the effort she tried to put into your relationship. So if you want to fix your relationship, you should go and apologize and tell her how you really feel. And if what you say to your lady friend has any meaning, then just end things with her; she doesn’t deserve all this pain,” Seonghwa said, and he pissed me out of his room.

—

After talking to Seonghwa, I went to my bedroom and sat down on my bed, and I just thought about everything Seonghwa said. I was so upset with myself that I let myself go, and I became someone I didn’t recognize, and it’s costing me my relationship.

I was thinking of ways to apologize to you, but no matter what, I still think about the way I treated her and how I ignored her to spend time with someone else. I was disgusted by my behavior, and I wish I could have done this differently.

After I just sat down thinking about what I should do, I tried to go to sleep, thinking it was best to work things out tomorrow, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t fall asleep. Guilt was eating me up. I couldn’t stop thinking about how you might be feeling, and the thought of it didn’t let me sleep.

The next day, I woke up before the guys and left the dorms. I went for a walk, then I went to buy a

little stuff to make something to eat for y/n.

Once I got into her apartment, I went to her kitchen as quietly as possible and started to cook her something delicious.

After a few minutes, I heard you walking down the hallway. Then I saw her right behind me, and I was kind of scared to face her just to have her kick me out, but then she started talking in a low voice.

“What’s all this? What are you doing here? I thought we ended things,” she asked.

"Well, I thought I could make you something more delicious to eat than we could talk about last night, if that’s okay with you,” I asked nervously.

“You better have a good excuse because I’m so ready to end everything. I’m not going to be anyone’s joke,” she replied as she sat down on the kitchen table.

“I promise I’ll try to fix everything. I’ll do everything I need to fix my mistakes,” I said in a low tone.

After I was done cooking, I placed everything on the table and sat down across from you. As she was eating quietly, I was scared to do or say anything, so I just looked down at my lap.

I was coming up with ways to fix my relationship. I really didn’t want to lose you, and that scared me. She has been the best thing that has happened to me, and I’m afraid to lose her because I know that without her, I’ll be a mess.

Ever since we started dating, she has been there to help me every step of the way. She helps me a lot with so many things, one of them being the boys. They love her so much that they respect her and obey her more than me.

After she was done eating, I cleaned up as she went to sit on the couch. I was so nervous. I hoped she could forgive me. I hoped I didn’t mess it up too much.

Once I was done cleaning, I went to sit on the couch with you. I was nervous still, but I had to get this over with, so I started to talk.

“I’m sorry for how I have been acting. I haven’t been the best boyfriend, and I have been ignoring it. I’m so sorry. I wish I could have acted differently." not looking at her in the eye.

“Am I no longer your muse?” She asked sadly, “I mean, I heard what you told her that she gives you a new kind of inspiration that I don’t give you, and that to me, it seems that I’m no longer your muse, the one you needed.”

“I was stupid to say anything like that at first, but knowing that I might lose you that I might lose the one that made way days better scares me. Your all I need, your all I think about, and you help me when I need help with my music.” I said, finally looking at her.

“But I didn’t understand you the way you would like. I tried my best to do so, but I just failed to understand your world,” she said as some tears fell from her eyes. “You know, ignoring me really hurt me. I thought I was going to lose you to her. I thought you didn't love me any more.”

"No, baby, you are and forever will be my muse. You are the reason why I’m always working. You always encourage me to do my best. I can’t ever replace you with everything I want and need,” I said, smiling softly. “I'm sorry for ignoring you. I was acting stupid, and I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't think I would make you feel this way.”

“Did you ever think of ending our relationship to be with her? Do you actually have more things in common with her than with me?” She asked, unsure.

“Yes and no.” I replied in a chuckle, “We do share the same musical interests and a few other things, but I have more things in common with you, like our sense of humor and stuff we like to do in our free time.”

“I mean, yeah, but is that enough for you? Are you okay with me not understanding you one hundred percent?” she said, smiling.

"Yeah, it doesn't bother me; it actually gives me a reason to teach you new things. Baby, I'm so sorry. I need you. I can’t imagine being without you. I want to go back, like before. Have you in the studio, and be my little helper.” I said, putting y/n into my chest.

“I don't know. Convince me, and I might,” she said, smiling up at me.

“I’m sure I came up with something in the meantime. I heard from some that you beg him to teach you a thing or two about music. Is that true?” I asked, teasing

“I’m going to kill Hwa; he promises not to say anything, but he rats me out to you,” she said, blushing.

“You know, that’s kind of cute and sweet of you to try to surprise me, but don’t go to him or any of the boys; I get jealous, and don’t make food for the boys only for me,” I said, whining.

“How can I say no to the boys, especially Sannie? He looks so cute with his cute puffy cheeks and that cute voice he makes. It’s hard for me to say no to them,” she said, giggling.

"Baby, I promise not to ever ignore you. No for another girl, not for nothing; your all I need and want. I’m sorry for my actions. Because of that, I almost lost you. I can’t afford to lose you, and from now on, I will not talk to her or hang out with her unless I really have to, but I’ll make sure you're there as well." I said, kissing the top of her head.

As we sat on the couch, hugging each other, I couldn’t help but think that I could have lost her. I could have lost the only person who made my bad days good and who was there to support me, my little muse. I can’t believe she forgives me now. I won’t ever make the same mistake again. I can’t afford to lose her, not when she has done so much for me. I will make sure to show her how much I love and appreciate her.

~~~

I hope you guys enjoyed it and sorry if it was bad :(

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