#just to cover one's ass

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

your love is my curse

#hero 108 #hero: 108 #mystique sonia #yaksha #lin chung #mighty ray #jumpy ghostface #dont u just love when u get into an oldest silliest fandom u can and just snap over that one blorbo #and like. imagine a backstory for them that was denied in canon and write like 4 pages of a draft #for a comic that you have a burning desire to draw so much that you end up thinking fake covers just to calm tf down. #fun times #anyway hiiiiii turns out sonia crawled into my head and now she fucking lives there. its hell because there is almost no content for my gur #at least thats not questionably p0rny. i even returned to DA and got traumtized again when i tried to look sonia up lol. at least got to se #my cringy ass old art so thats fun i guess

[suburbanbonfire]

IT'S HUNTING SEASON

#at least i hope so #kraken have been so ass lately that this feels like a 50/50 shot #this one was sooooo fun #originally the concept was going to be a comic book cover #with buoy menacingly silhouetted in a doorway #and the Ducks Boys screaming in terror a la those haunted house photos #but then drysdale got traded and zegras got injured and it was less fun #instead buoy theorhetically gets a gun which is just as scary #seattle kraken #buoy #kraken #anaheim ducks #hockey art #hockey #my art

[kenobihater]

of all the star wars movies, which of them do y'all 1) enjoy the most 2) consider the best quality and 3) think you've rewatched the most. add your answers in the reblogs or replies, i'm genuinely curious how much of an overlap there is within everyone's three answers. mine don't overlap at all! they're revenge of the sith, empire strikes back, and the force awakens :^)

#len speaks #star wars #revenge of the sith #empire strikes back #the force awakens #not tagging more films than that bc i cant b bothered. incoming tag ramble ahead bc i have sw brainrot rn and im making it everyones prob❤️ #i rlly struggled 2 remember if id watched tfa or aotc more. i went w/ tfa bc it was formative to me as a teen and ive seen it probably 6ish #times? whereas aotc was the first sw movie i remember (specifically the scene of obiwan serving c*nt in the bar lmao) but i've only seen it #for sure 4.5 and maybe 5.5 times. the .5 is from when i got bored after obi-wan's scene ended and ran off to go play in the mud or smthn 😭 #i'm sure tfa will eventually get surpassed in number of rewatches by aotc and rots bc i don't fw the direction of the ST but that's my #current ballpark estimate of my total number of rewatches #as an adult tho if i just wanna watch a star war i'll go with aotc bc it's fun and ends semihappily and i can turn my brain off for the #spinny lightsabers. it's great background noise or for if you're sick or whatever. rots on the other hand? i won't talk through that unless #i'm quoting it with my brother and i am LOCKED IN 100% entirely entranced by it all #i almost picked rogue one for the best quality answer but i think the character writing is weaker and the facial cgi is creepy. esb beats #it by a hair imho bc of that. the vader hallway scene goes hard tho!!! #also i'm not covering shows or games or books or anything else in this post - simply the films. might ask abt shows later but that might #also give me hives bc so many of the shows suck ass and i don't rlly want ppl extolling the virtues of t.bb in my notes 💀 #and yes i do think one's enjoyment and one's opinion of quality are two things that often overlap. but sometimes you just like something #bad and that's awesome. like rots is the best of the prequels by a large margin and i adore the opening and characters and many of the #scenes but that doesn't mean it's the best star wars has to offer ykwim? it's my specialest most favoritest sw movie but that doesn't blind #me to the dialogue lmfaooo

[doodleodds]

Happy Valentines, Akira. Happy Valentines, Asshole.

If you can’t read what Akechi’s secondary inner-dialogue says cause I obscured it too much behind his regular dialogue, here’s a transcription in panel order: Hello, you fucking- Ah- Hello, Akira! Fuck off, why should I tell you- Just a soda- there’s a new flavor.

I don’t want your shitty gift. Oh- haha! You’re so sweet.

I hope I choke. They’re lovely, thank you.

Like hell. Likewise. There’s no way it’s just a coincidence. Still though, it’s a funny coincidence.

#p5 #akeshu #akechi goro #kurusu akira #wow- me?? posting a valentines comic... actually on?? valentines????? wack. absolutely wack #it's a short one! I purposefully tried to keep it short. it was a challenge and it still ended up being 3 pages. but i blame my canvas size #also in case u can't see what akira is holding out to akechi: theyre chocolate covered strawberries on sticks! #i saw them irl and was like oh god i want those. i am going to project that feeling on my favorite characters so help me god #and now! here we are! but my shitty-ass coloring & line quality make it hard to discern them so. sorry about that lmaooooo #ANYWAY i don't do enough post-maruki stuff so. i made this one a little bittersweet. :) #why did i put akechi's scarf in a bow? honestly i dont know! i think i saw some art a while ago that did that too and i thought it was cute #well. plus i guess there's the symbolism of 'akechi being alive and reciprocating your feelings (however involuntarily) IS a gift' part #hence that hes wrapped up in a bow. like a present. :) #also god. the first panel is supposed to be akechi's reflection in a vending machine window. I could NOT get it to look right #so for reference!!! just so you guys understand!!!!!! thats what that panel is supposed to be!!! he is NOT in fact a ghost. (sigh) #hope you enjoyed and had a lovely valentines!! for my part i have eaten nothing but sweets today and hoo boy will that have been a mistake #ALSO in terms of the audience-participation comic...hopefully coming soon. if i can ever gain the will to draw it. #but at least tumblr has polls now so i can do the audience-choose-y bit without needing to use a separate website! so thats good i guess #anyway anyway anway thanks for listening to me ramble if you made it this far! have a lovely rest of your day and hopefully see u again soon

[front-facing-pokemon]

#demifiendcruithne this one is for you. i don't even know if this is your favorite pokémon but when i see it i think of you bc of your icon #lordy this blog is getting more and more difficult as time goes on. apparently we've exited the era of models Just Working for me and now #i have to spend hours tinkering with them just to get the eyes to show up and even then they don't look nearly as good as they used to #when they Just Worked #the alolan forms are kicking my ass. and i even tried to use the swsh models for these guys since i assumed those would work #but now i'm finding out that the Entirety of gen 8 is going to be even more difficult on me #dunno how much longer i can keep up This act unless i find some way to make this easier on me #alolan meowth #update from the future: incredible thanks to jodie-blend here on tumblr for her endless kindness in helping me figure out how to do #this at least a little bit easier. they'll still look a little bit different but at least this has me covered for gen 9 #but for cases like alolan rattata and raticate i'm still fucked. also gen 8 i'm still fucked #but. the complaining above is now a little bit more bearable

[todayisafridaynight]

'tumblr i told you to stop sniping my post quality' translation: 80's sequel to this so click for better quality

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza 7 #yakuza like a dragon #masato arakawa #masumi arakawa #jo sawashiro #snap sketches #n e way ignore the fact ive made arakawa's chain gold now. my blind ass only now realized it's gold and not silver #MY LOUDEST TEEHEE this was the vision..... this was the vibe i wanted.. teehee.. #they're silly to me.... they're SOOO silly i want them to be fumbling dads together only to perfect parenthood down the line #every time i draw something like this i ALWAYS want to put my dumb Fake Doujin title somewhere the urge is SO strong #i love manga covers and i love making fake manga covers.... #maybe i should make one of those Ungodly Long-As-Hell fan webcomics like they used to back in the 2010's.... #just straight 200 pages of arasawa domestic content... #legend behavior... which is why i couldnt im not built like that ☠️ #ok im done looking at this bye. i have to watch. The Correct SP Finale ☠️☠️☠️ #im starting to get back the drawing flow so... hopefully more stuff this week... and.. get the drums and fanfare ready.. #i do got a cute lil comic with ichi and arakawa planned <3 #would love if i can do that soon... ok bye movie time

[oflgtfol]

quick like 3 hour thing to sate my desire to see Narinder But As A Bishop. i tried to emulate the game style as much as possible, and i used shamura and heket as the primary references for the robe design

#shakes him like a squeaky toy. fucked up cat !!! #art #cult of the lamb #narinder cotl #so interesting thing i noticed while looking at the other bishops #so heket is the only one out of her shamura and kallamar that has the horizontal line through the red pupil #but LESHY. while he has his eye covered in this form of his . if you look at his eldritch form with the blindfold off. he also has the #horizontal thing in his pupil then #i thought maybe its the eldritch forms only then but no. even shamura and kallamar's eldritch forms dont have it #so it is strictly a leshy and heket thing #dont know what it means but whatever. thought it'd be neat to include for narinder as well. <3 #WAIT SORRY almost forgot to add what was the actual deciding factor to that rather than just whatever: #narinder's eldritch form does in fact have the horizontal lines in his pupils as well #so that was what made me say whatever to also adding it to his non eldritch bishop form here. <3 #anyway literally boring ass stock pose against a white bg but i just wanted to focus on the design + copying the game style as much as #possible which im actually really happy with. obv i cant do 1:1 but i think i got pretty close. so. :3

[frnkiebby]

theres so much going on here~🎃

#can any one spare a pixel? #the dr pepper #the cig #the nail polish #the STUPID CUTE CURL #thank everything holy the best is covering up that fuck ass tie #fucking stupid ass ridiculous wide tie #i love him but pls #just #frnkiebby #frank iero #mcr #frnkiero #mcrmy #frnkie #mcr5 #my chemical romance #my chem #ilhsm

[celestial-ringleader]

“. . .I still feel like I’ve got a circus tent on my back. . .this is like a ballgown made of kevlar!”

I’ve been thinking way too much about Dick as Batman............ @ronnyraygun

#ive been forced into a role i didnt want bc i dont want to be like my adoptive dad but also #no one else is gonna do it so i guess i gotta #dick grayson #nightwing #richard grayson #dc fanart #listen ive been staring at all those batman variant covers that have religous symbolism #and the muse just possessed me #not rlly eldest daughter syndrome but more like #this was such a good era for him #i blame ron for kicking me in the ass to do it instead of sitting on it forever #dick has such an atlas complex bc of his survivor's guilt and i love him for it <3

[bonefall]

even though I've never read the books, i love how you handle the women in this series.

The utter lack of interest in the internal lives of women characters in WC kills me. If you don't read the series it's hard to put it into words, but it really does not value women on the same level as their male counterparts

I think the best example I can use is Turtle Tail. All of her choices, from going to live with Bumble, choosing a "cruel man" as a mate, and even her grief when Bumble dies, all only happen as accessories to Gray Wing's arc.

Living with Bumble was because Gray Wing was obsessing over a woman who didn't love him, neglecting Turtle who does

Choosing Tom the Wifebeater was also because Gray Wing didn't appreciate her enough

She accepts that her friend's murder was just an unfortunate accident and her emotions carried her away in the moment, because Gray Wing needs to be right that his brother is a good boy

In this way, Turtle Tail's emotions and motivations aren't allowed to really be about her. They're about how her romantic interest influences her. And then she's crushed by a car for his man pain after they've explored every other way her life could make him sad.

This does not happen with men. Even characters like Stemleaf and Larksong, whose primary narrative purpose is dying for their wife's pain, have functions outside of that. Stemleaf gives his life opposing the tyranny of the impostor in a rebellion, and Larksong has input on The Kin, SkyClan, and even serves as a source of comfort and support to a son who he's never met in contrast to the unreasonable mother.

There's just so much more respect and reverence to the toms in this series. You have to be in the POV of a molly to get depth, and even then, they nearly always (exceptions being mothwing and mistystar) include a major conflict over romance and/or parenthood

(And they usually get punished for their choices a lot harder than male counterparts. Directly contrast Crookedstar and Sparkpelt, who both distance themselves from their children out of grief, but only one has to deal with the lasting consequences of being a "bad parent")

Anyway, enough wistful analysis. It is MY kitchen and I get to choose the conflicts. It is my personal mission to write lots and lots of women persuing a higher education in STEM. Sadism, Torture, Evisceration, and Murder <3

#Allowing women to exhibit their natural behaviors such as being covered in blood and screaming in catharsis #Good penguin: Fern displayed exceptional spacial awareness by packing two bodies in one grave #Bad penguin: Maple bit my ass #I think its funny that Poppy actually did persue a higher education in STEM for BB #She just happened to persue it because midterms are a good excuse for running away from all your problems #Running away from my problems and deciding 'well shoot if im running may as well chase a doctorate' #Women in STEM as in gardening lmaoo. Stems. Gregor Mendel ass girlie cat #The women kill. But the women are also silly. That is very important. They must also be funnygirls. #Women in PETAL if you will. Pathetic Evil Tormented Awesome Loser. #Bone babble #Anyway all that to say thank u for the compliment I am not normal about this

[kennyomegasweave]

Beam's parents taking everything but the cat from Jim is direct commentary on why gay marriage needs to be legal everywhere. It's not just a piece of paper. It's legal protection in the event of a tragedy.

But let it also be a lesson to never let another person have EVERYTHING in their name, especially if it was both yours, married or not. You gotta have your own stuff y'all. There's no reason Jim should have been left with NOTHING after years, marriage or not. Unless he just let Beam put only his name down and that's not a good move ever.

#moonlight chicken #I love Jim but that wasn't smart #I understand when you're ~in love~ you don't think but like #Jim came from nothing after running away from home #and unless Beam just scooped him off the streets at like 19 he had to have his own shit #so I'm supposed to believe he was cool joining all his stuff in Beam's name only #no I'm sorry that doesn't work for me #if your person is like NO IT'S FINE #get a new person that one isn't it okay #you HAVE to cover your ass on everything even love #regular clyde

[a-rivederlestelle]

thinking of the de rolo’s wanting to refuse the resurrection, delilah an obvious threat.

of imogen begging, again. she’ll do anything.

of imogen pausing. saying, “i love her. i never told her. please.”

of vex, feeling like the wind was knocked out of her, remembering, “i should have told you, it’s yours.”

of imogen, finally seeing a crack, a possibility, and saying, “she died because of you the first time. she died because of me the second time. please. she deserves to live for herself.”

#cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #critical role campaign 3 spoilers #cr3 #more theory than spoilers but yk 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ #laudna #imogen temult #vex’ahlia de rolo #imodna #the PARALLELS #i can’t stop THINKING about it #with this ONE event imogen and vex are suddenly scarily similar and the thought of them meeting is so wild #just to cover my ass im obviously not saying it’s vex or imogen’s fault in either case. just that they both FEEL that (undeserved) guilt

[poorlydrawndirk]

We're on air.

More precisely, I was on air when I recorded this, but the details are largely irrelevant. Because I don't really feel like covering fuckin' introductory quantum mechanics and telling you exactly how the influence of the Skaian universe, when applied at the quark level and taken alongside the probabilistic effect of quantum behavior, superposes via particle states and results in the formation of what you might refer to as "overlapping timelines". And that's already getting real abecedarian about this shit.

Yeah, sue me. Try boning up on basic physics while you're at it.

So. I'm sure you'd love to hear about how I managed to rig this sick as hell channel-cum-blog up and get it to straddle the space-time continuum like an antediluvian Olympic gymnast doing mad splits over baby's first toy pony, but that ain't the point of this little exercise. Posting what's effectively a vlog is enough of an onanistic venture without adding Skaian Principles For Dummies: Electric Boogaloo to the schedule.

Where was I?

(Rhetorical question. Don't answer, if it needed to be said.)

The name's Dirk.

Strider. Yeah, that Strider.

I'd be more worried about internet safety, but seeing as there are only up to two people alive around here no matter how far you pull my timeline back, and I'm one of 'em, it doesn't exactly compute. Face it, brosephine: you aren't getting to year 24xx post-hilarocaust, and you sure aren't getting past that. Wasn't shat out of a lab yet when you were committing identity theft and scamming doddering old ladies out of their sadsack pensions.

(If you manage to get pizza delivered out here, I'll tip extra.)

Besides, you already knew my name, didn't you?

Maybe your next question's going to be:

"Why are you calling this a vlog when it's obviously just a blog?"

Or maybe,

"Why is your URL poorlydrawndirk when it's totally malapropos?"

Buckle in, kids. Strap yourself into that convertible toddler-safe harness and keep your ass glued tight to all the prime polyester-lined foam, because this ride's about to pull into the station and vehicular standards are some passé 21st century horseshit.

The first thing you have to understand is that even peering upon the brink of these echelons of irony is a skill that you'll never grasp in your life. But that's fine. I'm around. And if it puts your mind at ease,

I'll be the one pulling the strings here.

(There's the tired callback. It's not wrong, but it's tired. Worn out enough for it to be begging you to take it out back behind the shed and put it out of its misery.)

(I'll leave it at that for now, because self-referencing is one thing, but if I get any more meta, I'll have to start narrating in twelve-point Times New Roman.)

Anyway, I'll be breaking it down, just this once. Magnanimous as hell, I know. I could wax poetic and in doing so obfuscate the actual meaning once more from obtuse minds, thereby adding another strata to irony so layered that it's settled past sedimentary and is ready to unearth some fossil formations, but let's be real. That shit would fly over your head so far it'd be trying to dial ground control at Houston.

Here we go.

Vlogs aren't cool; making one ironically is.

Putting in this much effort into making a multiversal vlog makes it cooler, ironically.

Putting in this much effort to make a multiversal vlog when the doomed timelines are all inherently fuckin' doomed, as the name implies, and therefore functionally useless to communicate with, makes it more ironic.

I have Heart powers and am able to achieve my ultimate self through my alpha timeline. Therefore, not only is this pimped-out vlog functionally useless, but I actually don't need it at all.

Which means this wasn't too hard to set up to begin with. Ironic, considering the complex presupposed conditions necessary for bridging that 'verse gap.

And despite framing this as a vlog, this is obviously a blog.

Even though it's just a blog, all these drawings I've made had you convinced that I really thought I was posting a vlog.

And in a way, I'm still making one. It ain't the traditional format, but the almost videographic mannerisms I've been laying on you more than compensate for the fact that the video part of "vlog" doesn't exist.

Except it does, for me.

And because it does, none of these pictures are drawn to begin with. They're all film stills. Screenshots, if you prefer.

Which makes the qualifier of "poorly drawn" untrue.

But it's also almost true, because you can call them poorly drawn by virtue of them not even being drawn. Ride that definition of "poorly" down the one-way rail and you're here, selfie central, population two, me and you.

Of course, that means we have to cover the quandary of truth itself. What constitutes the truth? Titillate that thought for a second.

If I consider the attached files to be selfies, but you consider them to be illustrations, which is it actually?

An analysis of the "truth" means that we have to start delineating how much of this is subjective, tying us in bed with the concept of knowledge. The Socratic take calls for dialectical conversation and inquiry via questioning; therefore, if I just bequeath my knowledge to you on a pretty little metaphorical platter, it won't mean fuckall. So we have to keep digging. Get your pickaxe ready, 'cause we ain't hitting any diamonds of wisdom any time soon.

In fact, maybe that ain't the right direction. Flip it turnways. We gotta climb a li'l higher for what we need.

Maybe we gotta head to the roof.

now. brought cal.

where making this HAPEN.

Haha.

Just fuckin' with you.

Welcome to my blog, dude.

Want water? Imagine I got you a nice, chilled glass.

Let's get this parasocial relationship pumping.

Questions? Concerns? Misguided pseudo-parental queries about whether or not it's safe for your pipsqueak to be exposed to a full dose of radically Stridered bullshit?

Cool.

Make it all three and drop it in the asks, yeah?

#Dirk Strider #Homestuck #Homestuck Fanart #Bro Strider #Ask Blog #(( #No set timeline! primarily dirk but occasionally other splinters. yeah that includes scratch because why not. it sounds funny. #not a kinnie not a fictive! just a guy with a little bit of time and some bad ideas. #please note that it took dirk approximately five hours in the video to get ready. thank you. #yes the intro is one very lengthy quasi-shitpost. I was going to cover sincerity and the socratic dialogues even more #except it was already really long. lol. anyway I don't have 3 hours to write a more detailed explanation of all the layers of irony but #'trust me bro' #this is a regular askblog despite being named like one of the 'badlydrawn' ones. #im not gonna write long ass monologues at everything i just thought it'd be funny here #i'll spice up the actual blog layout later. for now - hope you enjoyed! #Also - runs not daily prob closer to weekly))

[eudico-my-beloved]

2b doodle coz i havent drawn her in a while

#if you guessed i drew this instead of working on my portfolio #um hehe oopsies #i was just gonna do 1 version with skirt but i liked the hand so #hehe #theres also a third version but that one was just me trying to shift the skirt so it doesnt cover the arm #maybe itd get posted some day who knows #please ignore how half assed this is (especially with virtuous contract) i suddenly got possesed by the thought ‘ouuughh 2b’ #and scribbled this without a ref </3 #2b #nier automata

[piracytheorist]

someone: how angsty do you want your identity reveal scenario to be?

me: so what if right after Anya's powers are revealed Twilight asks her why she tricked him into adopting her, if she was put into it by someone else in order to expose him, and Anya tries to tell him she wanted to help and he asks why would you want to help me and she's like "because you want a peaceful world where children don't cry" and he nearly has a flashback triggered by that and she runs and hugs his legs saying she wants to help and be good and Twilight just. Pushes her away. Gently and without physically hurting her but emotionally it's a massacre. And he sees her devastated face because of his rejection and realizes he has now caused her the pain he never wanted to see on another child's face, and he thanks whatever lucky stars he doesn't deserve that Yor is there because he cannot process anything else and just leaves out the door, leaving Anya to bawl in Yor's arms :)

#he would eventually drag his ass back home #but Yor would be so outraged she would slap him so hard his jaw would nearly dislocate #and look look I have an entire story planned for this #like Yor stays with Anya all day because she wouldn't stop crying #they call Yor for an assignment and she has to say no #cause she cannot leave Anya even with a babysitter at the state she's in #and then the Shopkeeper is pissed and orders one of his assassins to poison Anya #and she ends up in the hospital #Yor and Loid find out who poisoned her and Loid goes to kill the ppl responsible #but it was a TRAP! Shopkeeper captures him and orders Yor to kill him #but Yor kills Shopkeeper instead!! less for Loid's sake and more because of what he did to Anya #they cover it all up and they go back to the hospital #Loid has a breakdown and cries next to an unconscious Anya telling her how sorry he is about what he did to her #and that it's his fault that she was poisoned #she wakes up and he apologizes again and says he'll understand if she's mad #but she just hugs him and for the first time HE HUGS HER BACK and they're both crying #and eventually he falls asleep next to her on her hospital bed #Yor finds them sleeping like that and decides to give him another cautious chance #Spy x Family #sxf plot bunny #I can't wait for this to actually happen and for me to learn about it in seven years when it'll happen in the anime *clown emoji*

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

l♡vely p♡is♡n

bonus

#my art lol #vocaloid #vocaloid fanart #vocaloid art #vocaart #kaito vocaloid #vocaloid kaito #kamui gakupo #gakupo kamui #camui gackpo #gackpoid #chromatic aberration #purple #blue #gakukai #I GUESS? actually yeah i cant lie this is. kinda gay. and 2000s ass caption SHKJGHJKNGSKJNK #something came over me wtf and i couldnt rest until i finished drawing. gay people. im so tired i finished this at like 3am #what listening to one (1) specific song cover over and over again does to you. goddddddd. #the heights here are kinda off from my usual hcs but then again this is like. some sorta different kaito b/c hes a little fucked up so #maybe hes allowed to be shorter than usual. YEAH CAUSE idk usually these two are actually pretty normal but this kaito's just. gremlin ig #again: what listening to a specific cover over and over does to a mfer. lorddddddd help me. #scheduling this in advance by the time this is posted ill prob still be asleep lmao 😭 recovering from whatever tf possessed me to draw this