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arthur-ptxy · 2 years

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So I got an idea.

Before I start, this is an AU which I named "Flavour Red," (plz don't judge me; I don't really know how to name an AU, lol), so there will be some weird idea coming from myself; if you accept it, let's start.

-Redstone has the smell; it smells like rust combined with burned wood.

-The person who is good at or always uses Redstone, redstoner, will acquire the smell and cannot get rid of it.

-Depending on the Redstoner, the smell of Redstone will change, but still all based on the original smell of Redstone.

-personally I called the redstoner who has the smell FRer.

-As long as the FRer stays in the same place with Redstone, the smell will be stronger and stronger whatever they are building stuff or AFK.

-If a person doesn't acquire the smell at first or they are not redstoner, he will never get the smell, whatever how long he stays with Redstone.

-However, if they stay with FRer, they will acquire the time being smell.

And you know, there are lots of redstoner on Hermitcraft… they might all change to FRer in this AU

Here is the smell list of some of them.

Iskall: due to what he does in season 6 and season 7, his smell is dry and hot, just like the smell of the desert; also, compared to burned wood, his smell is near to the freshly chopped oak wood.

Mumbo: same as iskall, his smell is also desert style, but the difference is, for some reason, his Redstone smell mix with some smell of chocolate cookie and plants.

Tango: His flavour mix with some citrus fruit flavour, basically is lemon and orange (Tangerine, did you get it? ;3), also, compared to rust, the smell he got is near to new metal. (Tips: you REALLY DON'T want to make him angry)

Docm77: Since he is a creeper hybrid, as usual, his flavour has the smell of gunpowder. Sometimes people wonders if his Redstone system will blow up. Of course, it is not.

Xisuma: his smell is separate, which depends on what he "looks" like; for example, in season 7, he is a bee hybrid, so his scent has a slight honey flavour in it, but most of the time, he smells really…empty?

Etho: his smell is rustier than others which can barely smell the burned wood, and there is some industrial sweetness inside of his smell; because of that, his smell is almost the same as blood.

This is just the alpha version of Flavour Red AU. I might change it, might add more stuff, but who knows? Also, if anybody has ideas about other Redstoner who doesn't appear here or different idea about Redstoner appear here, you can request ask, and we can chat :)

#hermitcraft #mcyt #iskall #iskall85 #etholabs #mumbo #mumbo jumbo #tango #tangotek #docm77 #xisumavoid #Flavour Red AU #plz enjoy it!#I apologize to the redstoner I didn't write #I need more research :(

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bringmebackdude · 3 years

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Heaven

Pairing: Duff Mckagan x Reader

Concept:

Word count: 1,141

(some fluff, angst)

The tall clumsy blonde closed the door behind him, trying not to make a loud noise with his presence, but his cowboy boots thought otherwise. The thumps of the heels hitting the wood echoed through the apartment, still, you were too deep in your sleep to hear he was back. He knew you would be mad because he had left almost ten hours ago when he promised it was just a couple of drinks. It wasn’t the anger that scared him, it was the disappointment that used to peak in your beautiful eyes. Those eyes he promised to never see them turn dull.

“Shit!” he exclaimed in a whisper after accidentally pushing a chair. His body stood still, waiting to hear the creaking of the bed as you woke because of his dizziness, but there was no noise.

Regardless of how much alcohol was in his system, fear invaded his being. What if she left? The dark brown dusty boots made their way to the bedroom you shared with him, he was uncertain if he could bear the idea of you not being around anymore. And it was all his fault. Hazel eyes stared at the wooden boards, before gathering the courage to look at the bed, finding the beautiful woman who would wake them gleam every time their sight was set on her. Your soft hair spread across the pillow, pink lips slightly parted, with blue sheets that covered your delicate body. He was so lucky. Quickly taking his shoes and pants off, he jumped under the covers, softly wrapping his arms around you and pulling the weight so he could cuddle you.

You snuggled up to him, eliciting a smile from him, who left a sweet kiss on your forehead. With the tour, recordings, rehearsals, and parties, Duff easily got caught up in the wild rockstar life, sometimes forgetting the most important part of it. The one he was grateful to the universe for crossing into his path. His life changed completely when he met you; found a confidant, a best friend, a shoulder to cry on, a person who would never judge him if it wasn’t for the best, a lover, the worst joker ever, but most importantly, the love of his life.

Michael was so unfamiliar with true love from someone who wasn’t a relative, his previous relationships weren’t the worst, but the feelings between him and the ex-girlfriends were almost uncomfortable on some occasions. He was invaded by joy when little moments returned to his memory, those when he was sober. When you cooked his favorite food, the time you finally played a full song on a guitar after he spent weeks teaching you, and the time you helped him bleach his hair after you insisted he looked way hotter with his natural blonde mane. Two years of being with (Y/N) , the one his sisters adored and loved having her home for a visit, the one who baked Christmas cookies with his mother and buy him, the one who would buy him an ugly sweater to match together at dinner. This was the girl his family looked forward to his marrying, as well as he. Heaven was a place on Earth beside her. I’m not giving you up.

The next morning, your arm reached to the other side of the bed, looking for the warmth of your boyfriend’s body, once again finding the side empty and cold. It wasn’t a surprise, there were plenty of times when Duff would prefer to crash at Slash’s or Izzy’s place so you wouldn’t see how drunk he was. So, like any other day, you got out of bed, grabbed some underwear, and walked straight to the shower, trying to avoid all those thoughts that plagued you. What if he slept with someone else? What if something bad happened to him? Maybe I should call Slash just to make sure he’s alright. Although all those previous times the same questions came to your head, he always walked through the door like a drunk mess, but safe. And that’s all you needed, for him to come back home, safe and sound, to you. A long black shirt with the Ramones logo was your choice of an outfit to leave your bedroom, lazily walking out of this one and smelling the sweet scent of food being cooked. Who’s cooking? No one stayed last night and the only one who had an extra key to the apartment was the band’s manager. You found the silhouette of your boyfriend facing the stove, and he made the gesture of moving something that was in front of him.

“G’morning.”

He quickly turned around, giving you that pearly smile you loved so much, “G’morning, beautiful” returning to his previous position.

“You didn’t come home last night” the words slipped out of your mouth.

“I did but it was pretty late, Slash was having problems with Renee.”

You didn’t respond, because you couldn’t care less about other people’s relationship problems while dealing with yours.

“I made breakfast...” putting a plate in front of you with a stash of fluffy pancakes, maple syrup dripping on the sides with chopped walnuts on the top.

“We didn’t have any walnuts” you looked at the food in front of you, it wasn’t burnt or messy. They looked almost like the ones iHop advertised.

“Steven went to the market early this morning with me, you like ‘em right?” he sat on the chair that was facing you from the other side of the table.

There was silence for a few seconds, “Duff, I’m not sure I can keep doing this. Pancakes are not going to mend months of heavy drinking and finding you passed out outside the building.”

“It won’t happen again, (y/n)”

“You keep telling me that, but it’s always the same story!” the silverware made a loud noise when you dropped them on the table, anguished.

“I know baby, and I’m so sorry.” He quickly kneeled beside you, intertwining his fingers with yours. There was despair in his eyes, something you haven’t seen before, and that awakened hope within you.

“You need to go to rehab,” Releasing one of your hands, you caressed his face, feeling his soft skin mixed with some acne scars from his teenage years, “tour is over, you need to get better, sweetheart.”

“Yes, I will, but I can do it myself” he nodded, moving his sight to face your palm and give it a soft kiss. “I promise” saying those magic words, those you hoped meant what they were. The bassist stood up, leaning towards you, and kissed your lips.

A weak smile appeared on your face, really wanting to believe him. You were giving him another chance to have your whole heart in his hands. Deep inside knowing he was falling straight to the void of alcoholism if he wasn’t already in it, and that you would keep helping him, even if it meant getting swept away too..

#I was so nervous to post this but I always wanted to right a fic or imagine #If you have any feedback I would love to know thx babies #please be gentle this is my first try #duff mckagan #duff mckagan x reader #duff mckagan imagine #guns n roses #bassist #duff mckagan fanfic #guns n roses imagine #fanfic #duff gnr #gnr #gnr imagine #rock

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effieduan · 3 years

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The Fox, the Hound, and the Witch || Raina & Effie

TIMING: Present

LOCATION: Near the town common

PARTIES: @rainaim, @effieduan, and a Basset Hound

SUMMARY: Raina finds Effie in a tree.

“Nice doggy,” Effie called, her voice wavering as she clung to the tree branch. The rotund basset hound was still barking at her, and she swore she saw evil intent in its eyes. “Nice, nice doggy.” Look, it wasn’t like she disliked dogs. Her family had a golden retriever named Noodle growing up, and while Noodle preferred hanging out with her sisters, she would always let Effie pat her on the head in passing -- something Effie only did when wearing her gloves of course. Her big, bright pink gloves were doing nothing to help her stay clinging onto the branch. She had just wanted to go for a run like she always did, and now some owner’s dog was off their leash and decided to chase her. Foxes and hounds did not mix, even in real life, apparently. Effie scrambled slightly as she felt her grip slackening, heaving herself upright on the branch. Her small pack that had her phone in it fell off when she was scrambling up the tree. No hope for calling animal control. “Nice doggy,” she tried again. “Pretty doggy. Who’s a good dog? Who’s a good puppy.” The dog’s loud snarling answered her. She was going to be up here a while, huh?

Raina liked to mind her business. Or, she at least liked to try. She wasn’t the type of person to crane her ear at the sound of conversation, but when it came to shouting? Raina typically found it hard to ignore. Though it was hard to get herself to run towards the sound due to the embarrassment of possibly causing a scene, she felt like she couldn’t ignore the fear that hung in the stranger’s voice. It was evident. At least, to her it was. She’d experienced that same fear time and time again since arriving in White Crest and she wanted nothing more than to just… Well, help. She steadied herself against a tree once she arrived, searching for whoever it was that needed help. Instead, she was faced with a woman in a tree, and a dog who wouldn’t stop barking. She replayed the scene of herself and Milo in her head before taking a step back. Except what this scene had that hers had not was an actual dog. She looked between the two and awkwardly walked towards them, still keeping enough space between her and the pup in case it was feral. “Are you okay? He didn’t bite you or nothin’, did he?” She looked up into the tree, then to the dog who, in her opinion, wasn't barking as viciously as she had originally heard. “Heya,” She called to the dog, bending down to grab a stick. She could handle a normal dog. Normal was good. “Here, doggy!” She echoed the woman in the tree and waved the stick around, but it wouldn’t divert its attention. “Uhhh,” She paused looking around. “Gimme a minute!” She said before she started to dig into her bag.

Ah. Effie had a savior, apparently. “No, he didn’t bite me,” she called down to her. That didn’t mean he didn’t want to, though. She looked down at the dog. He was running around, his big floppy ears flapping as he ran around under the branch she was clinging too. It would be cute if Effie wasn’t convinced that the hound was going to eat her. “Don’t - Don’t call animal control,” she heard herself saying. “I don’t want him to go to the pound, he probably just got off his leash or something!” Though she couldn’t see a collar. Then again, she couldn’t count how many times Noodle had slipped her collar growing up. Hell, she even slipped her harness a few times. Dogs were houdinis. The latest round of barking broke her from her train of thought -- “I don’t think he likes the stick too much,” Effie said, disappointed. “You don’t happen to have dog cookies in your purse, do you?”

Raina decided to take it as a good sign that the dog hadn’t bit the woman. It had chased her up a tree, sure, but it hadn’t bit her. She pulled out a stick of beef jerky she’d purchased earlier from the convenience store and started to unwrap it. “Nah, but I got jerky!” She held it up as if a trophy to show off and shuffled closer to the dog who was now running laps around the tree. A part of her was afraid that he’d trip and stumble over his own ears. She held it in the air and wiggled it some more, but the dog seemed disinterested. It looked harmless. At least, from what she could tell. “C’mere, doggy,” She cooed, echoing the way she’d spoken that evening in the woods with Milo. The dog finally looked at her and broke free of the loop it ran around the woman’s tree and trotted over to her, whining for the treat she had. She knelt down and showed the back of her hand to the dog’s nose before offering the jerky. It took it gratefully. Raina looked back to the woman in the tree. “You don’t happen to got anythin’ on ya that’d make it act like that, huh?” She was no dog expert.

“Jerky??” Effie asked. Well, that would work. Dogs liked meat, right? Even if it was fake meat. Was it fake meat? Or just overly processed meat? Actually, Effie was certain she hadn’t had a piece of jerky in her life, which was probably good for her digestive system. Since the piece of jerky was currently saving her life, Effie was pretty certain she didn’t have room to judge the woman on her snack choices. Hell, maybe she’d even try some jerky if this worked. Effie watched in fascination as the dog sniffed the piece of meat, before taking it out of the woman’s hand gently. Gently. The dog that had been barking up a storm two seconds ago was wagging his tail and munching on the tough meat happily. “Uh, no, I don’t,” Effie said. Other than her being a fox. Effie carefully began to dismount the tree, and less than gracefully managed to get back down onto the grass, looking at the dog doubtfully. “I was jogging. Maybe he thought we were, I dunno, playing or something,” she said with a shrug. She was hesitant to go near the thing still, though. Hounds eat foxes!!! Effie looked back at the woman. “Do you, uh… How much do I owe you for the jerky? Thanks for, you know, saving me.” She eyed the dog warily, but he seemed tame now that he had a snack.

Raina watched as the dog began to work on the jerky. It wouldn’t take long before it devoured it, it wasn’t that big of a piece. She watched the woman as she scaled down the tree and she took a step back before looking down to the dog whose tail was now wagging. It was strange, she thought. That it’d be barking at this woman for no reason at all. Raina refrained from asking if something had happened, or if the stranger had scared it in some way. “Could be.” Raina hummed, “Don’t know too much ‘bout dogs, but it seems like it had some reason t’chase you.” She looked from the dog, then back to the woman and shook her head at the question of how much was owed for the jerky. “Nah, s’fine, I’ve got more back home.” The dog licked its chops and looked between the two women for a moment before sniffing the ground from where it had laid the jerky. “Are you afraid of dogs?” She asked innocently as she approached it once more, giving it a quick scratch behind its ears. It wagged its tail happily and tilted its head back, its ears lopping over its head.

The dog had some reason to chase her alright. What, did he sense she could turn into a snack? “It’s not that I’m afraid of dogs,” Effie said, though she knew she was absolutely afraid of this dog. Hound dog. Basset hounds. Those were hunting dogs, right? There was a whole disney animated movie about why fox and hounds did not mix. At least, that’s what she thought it was about. Truthfully, the disney phase had skipped over her growing up, likely because she had other more life threatening things to worry about. Effie examined the dog, who seemed to be content gnawing on his jerky and being pet by the other woman. “Alright,” Effie admitted. “I’m a little afraid of dogs,” she said with a sigh. She eyed the dog, and sighed turning her attention back to the woman. “Thank you for distracting him. Really. I don’t even want to know how long I was going to be stuck in that tree.”

Raina wondered silently why she’d been chased up a tree. She decided to shrug it off. It wasn’t hers to worry about, and besides, the situation had been resolved. The woman was out of the tree and the dog was happily snacking on the jerky that Raina had provided. When the stranger finally admitted to being afraid of dogs, Raina suppressed a laugh. “I think sometimes when they can sense you’re afraid, it makes ‘em anxious or somethin’.” She took out another piece of jerky from the 2-pack and offered it to the woman. “Maybe if you give this to ‘im he’ll understand that…” The witch thought for a moment, “well, that it was all a big misunderstandin’.” She smiled and shook her head at the thanks that was given. “No, no! I saw you in trouble, so of course I was gonna do somethin’. Not like you can hang out in a tree forever.” She knew that especially, considering the situation she’d gone through with Milo.

“Something like that. I think it’s the same thing with horses,” Effie said, trying to remember back when Emme had decided she was going to be a jockey. That dream was quickly changed to ballerina to tap dancer and then finally to journalism. The Duan household quickly became experts on many different activities. Effie still remembered that horrible knitted horse stuffed animal their mother knit for her for Christmas that looked like a blob. Effie looked at the jerky doubtfully, but she reached for it anyway, happy her gloves prevented contact with the greasy meat stick. “That’s true, I work out but I’m not exactly prone to hanging in things for a long period of time.” She knelt down, holding the jerky out to the basset hound. “I’ll have to give you a discount next time you come to my store though.” The dog looked up, finishing his first piece of jerky, and looked at Effie. His lip curled, and just before she was ready to snatch her hand back, the dog lurched forward, ripping the jerky from her hand before turning to run away. “... I guess that’s progress,” Effie said, flatly.

Raina was glad that her offer wasn’t being declined. She looked back towards the dog as the woman offered the jerky to it. It leapt up slightly, and as a shock to Raina, it nipped the food away from the woman before cantering in the opposite direction from where they were. To her, it seemed playful. Though, the witch could see the small amount of fear still etched onto the girl’s features. She offered the woman a smile. “I guess it is.” She readjusted the strap of her messenger bag over her shoulder and hummed, “well, I guess you ain’t gonna see him again, so no worries, right?” She wondered who the dog belonged to and had half a mind to go and track him down, to ensure its safety. Maybe it had run back to its owner. She looked down at the watch on her wrist and grit her teeth at the time. “I’m so sorry, but I gotta get to where I was goin’. It was real nice to meet you!” Raina beamed at the woman before she retreated the way she’d come, hopeful she’d make it to work before they’d call and ask where she was.

Effie watched the dog scamper away, slightly exasperated. “Yeah, no need to worry, I guess.” But she looked over at the woman when she said she had to go -- “Oh! Of course, I’m sorry if I made you late. Feel free to drop by my store any time if you need anything!” Effie called after her. She felt slightly bad for making her late, but grateful that she and her jerky had walked by. With a sigh, she blew a piece of hair out of her face, and bent to pick up her forgotten bag from the foot of the tree.

The walk back to her car was short, which she was grateful for. All that climbing made her sweaty, and honestly, Effie wanted to go home, take a shower, and take a nap. She opened her car door, going to shove her stuff in the trunk. Effie should have figured this would be a mistake. Yawning as she rounded the car, she heard a low bark. Effie froze, glancing up from her phone to see the Basset Hound sitting squarely in her passenger's seat. He barked louder now that she was paying attention to him, tail thumping against her leather seats.

“Nice… Doggy…” Effie said weakly, reaching forward. He let out a growl and she let out a loud shriek. “Nice doggy!!!”

#wickedswriting #para #para raina #raina

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yoiotdfics · 6 years

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Fic Recs for April 2017

Music of the Heart by rk_rl

A chance at fame. Potential love. Realizing he’s your soulmate. It’s a chance Yuuri can’t resist. Life and love. Fickle. Opportunities Only last so long. Loosing cannot, will not stop him. Salvation, as always, comes in the form of Victor Nikiforov.

want by insidetwizzles

Summary:

On nights like this, when he’s cold and alone and wants nothing more than to fuck the heat out of Yuuri, Viktor imagines.

i wanna be (the best you’ve ever known) by notcaycepollard

Summary:

All Viktor actually wants is to spoil Yuuri.

Apparently, he’s not able to spoil Yuuri so much as he seems able to spoil things with Yuuri. It is terribly unfair. Perhaps the universe actually has it out for him.

The Gifts of Friendship by Whisper132

Summary:

Yuri and Otabek’s relationship blooms as they learn the art of giving, receiving, and documenting everything online to show off.

Puppy Love by Phyona

Summary:

When Yuuri gets turned into a dog, the last place he expects to end up is Victor Nikiforov’s apartment. He learns quickly that the only thing worse than being his idol’s pet, is watching him pine for someone else.

Warning: Makkachin has recently passed away at the start of this story.

There’s a Difference Between Sleight of Hand and Misdirection by GordandV

Summary:

Guang Hong doesn’t reply: it certainly doesn’t seem like one of his best programs considering the score.

American Pie (Friends Don’t Let Friends Eat Pancakes) by youaremarvelous

Summary:

Yurio takes his drunk dads to Waffle House and fun times are had by all

Something Sweet by AmericanCanada

Summary:

All Yuuri wanted to do was bake some cookies…….

all my friends and all the loose ends by Anonymous

Summary:

There’s a box on Phichit’s bedside table, marked with the days of the week. Clear blue, the distinct shape of medication hazy and lumpy underneath the covers. He’d tried to hide it, at first, but he forgot to take them if he couldn’t see them, and maybe, just maybe, Yuuri wouldn’t judge.

Private Theatricals by Watergaw

Summary:

Some unmitigated historical fluff as a gift for my dear Yunitsa on this auspicious occasion. In which I commit acts of petty larceny on the works of Jane Austen and set the whole thing in 1865 for reasons of insufferable pedantry. I hope it makes you smile.

Mr Victor Nikiforov, rich, handsome, accomplished, and quite the most eligible bachelor in four counties, has a problem. His friend Giacometti has a solution.

Exhibition by stella_polaris

Summary:

Yuri needs a special look for his exhibition piece but he struggles with perfecting it himself. It’s good that he has Mila to help him.

Fandom Bicycle, Case 1: Sara Crispino by ineptshieldmaid

Summary:

Sara folds her arms and examines Chris. ‘You flirt with everyone,’ she says.

‘Most people,’ Chris concedes.

‘How do you manage it?’

—

(Series: tumblr prompt challenge-to-self, an attempt to test just how many characters can be paired with Chris Giacometti)

critical hit by reptilianraven

Summary:

”Victor is certainly an incredible player, but his opponent might just give him a run for his money.”

”I totally agree. Victor’s opponent, seventeen year old Yuuri Katsuki representing Japan, is one of the most interesting players this championship has ever seen.”

Yuuri brings a Pachirisu to the Pokemon Video Game World Championship Finals and rocks Victor’s world.

Maslenitsa by spare

Summary:

“It’s the week when we get to eat pancakes,” Victor explains. “Lots and lots of pancakes.” … Or the terribly inaccurate, shamelessly self-indulgent, fluff-for-fluff’s-sake fic where Victor and Yuuri celebrate Maslenitsa in St. Petersburg.

Like a Fairytale

lucycamui

Summary:

In which Prince Victor gets swept off his feet at a royal banquet and will go to any length to find his ‘Cinderella’ Yuuri. (And Phichit is the fairy godmother who has no idea what he’s doing).

“The crown prince of the Nikiforov kingdom, infatuated with a mystery pastry chef he’s only just met. This is exactly the kind of scandalous love story my life has been missing… So, what’s he look like? What exactly is Prince Victor’s type?”

“…Sweet.”

“Well, he does make pastries.“

I can be your devil or your angel, baby

hinatella

Summary:

Yuuri Katsuki didn’t ask for any of this, and he’s starting to question all of his life choices that lead up to this cursed moment.

Reason in Madness

Gigi_Sinclair

Summary:

“Yuri is only fifteen, but Lilia can already see the danger that’s gathering around him, the jackals that are licking their chops and beckoning. Men, women, alcohol, drugs. Scandals that lose sponsors, mistakes that ruin lives. There’s a world of tempting trouble out there, and it’s up to them to keep Yuri out of it, just as they did for Victor.”

UTC plus nine

anirondack

Summary:

Yuuri leans against the low wall, then sits on it. He rolls one ankle, and then the other. A light breeze plays along his face. His phone buzzes in his jacket pocket. He digs it out and sees a text from Victor, so he swipes it open and then drops his phone on the ground.

Victor is the master of nudes. Yuuri is easy.

Not Quite in the History Books

Black_Tailed_Gull (ExpatGirl)

Summary:

Viktor recounts his rather…unique…version of a housewarming ritual.

Small Bundles Of Joy Come With Big Bills

iamthefacebehindthemask

Summary:

Victor did what?

Aka, Victor is always extra, even as he is about to become a parent, and Yuuri tries to deal.

Toucan Play At That Game

whalefairyfandom12

Summary:

“Hey Seung-Gil.”

“Yes?”

The Korean skater had always intimidated Phichit a little. Talented and quiet some would call him antisocial, but deep down Phichit was sure they could be good friends. And what better way to break the ice than with a joke?

“What do you call memory loss in a parrot?”

Batter Up!

Shadow_sensei

Summary:

Victor and Yuuri are celebrating their birthdays together and decide to bake their own cakes, competing against each other to see which of their cakes will be the one to win over the party. Neither have baked a cake in years.

Laundry Day

cryingoverspilledvodka

lucycamui

Summary:

The Katsuki-Nikiforov household takes a morning off to do laundry. Living together, it’s not just the bed that needs breaking in.

Duckling

missmichellebelle

Summary:

The ballet classes are, inevitably, Victor’s idea.

something for the first time

copperwings

Summary:

Post-canon life in St. Petersburg, aka the ficlet in which Victor reads Cosmo for relationship advice and Yuuri disapproves.

Basically this is just humor and fluff.

Damage Control

aeriamamaduck

Summary:

Victor wakes up after a night of drinking with Yuuri and remembers taking a selfie.

minty coffee and sugary kisses

phylocalist

Summary:

A breath in, a breath out. Sara walks to the table she saw Mila sit on with a coffee in one hand and plate with the muffin in the other. It’s not like they’re short on staff and, in reality, she shouldn’t be doing this, this isn’t her work, but. She wants to.

(God, she’s so weak for pretty girls. Always has been.)

Or: Five times Sara makes a coffee for Mila in a coffee shop as an acquiantance, one time she makes a coffee for Mila in her apartment as her girlfriend.

5 things about the Yuri!! on Ice Cinderella AU

LLitchi

Summary:

The search is a campaign of low grade sexual harassment as all men and women in the country bemusedly allow Viktor to molest everything below their ankles, as respectfully as he can while still being a huge pervert.

Phichit the Brave

icandrawamoth

Summary:

Guang Hong, Leo, and Phichit go camping, and Phichit saves his boyfriends from the terrors of the woods at night

Wax or Shave?

FujoshiFluff

Summary:

A little bit of both.

(Yuuri and Viktor banter, deals are made, and Viktor chokes once or twice)

Homesickness

Clairianne

Summary:

With all his love for America, Guang Hong sometimes feels homesick.

calling all romantics

cyanoscarlet

Summary:

Contrary to popular opinion, Yakov Feltsman was a true romantic at heart.

A Family Portrait

kat_hale

Summary:

The Katsuki-Nikiforov-Plisetsky family naps.

Nikolai Plisetsky is in the hospital and Yuuri and Viktor take care of their son.

Birthday in Bed

FeelsandFandoms

Summary:

Phichit never cared much for celebrating his birthday, but that might change this year with Leo and Guang-Hong spending it with him.

#yoi #yuri on ice #April 2017 fic recs #fic rec list

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jackoftradesmakescontent · 6 years

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The Seven Friendly Sins Chapter 2

The sun rose on the horizon and Richard went through his morning ablutions. The first day of work. He knew he would be in rough shape for the day, so he packed plenty of energizing snacks and bucketloads of coffee and water.

With himself and his cat fed and watered for the day, Richard made to leave the house. Of course, Jade objected to her human abandoning her for more than a few hours. With his hand on the door and the cat sulking somewhere, Richard paused. He turned back into the house and called out.

“Hey! Be nice to Jade while I’m gone, alright?”

And then he was gone.

The drive to work passed in a haze of music, coffee, and asphalt. He was introduced to his coworkers, a theatre troupe’s technical support, and led on a tour. It was familiar enough that he was able to get the gist of what he needed even through the fog in his sleep deprived mind.

Before he could start the actual work of assembling the set for the theater’s upcoming play, his boss pulled him aside.

“Hey, just wanted to make sure you’re good today.” The scruffy man, Vincent his mind supplied, looked worried. “You look a bit rough.”

Richard waved him off. “It’s fine. I’m used to it.”

Vincent looked unconvinced, but let Richard go to work anyway. He was given easy, menial tasks, both as a first day hazing and no doubt due to the dark bags under his eyes. Counting and sorting screws and bolts by length and width, playing Tetris with the various hand and power tools to make them all fit snugly in their drawers, and similar tedious jobs that no one liked to do. Still, Richard felt that he had acquitted himself well for the circumstances. He bid the others goodbye as his shift ended. The drive home was identical to the drive to work, but in the opposite direction.

Jade, of course, greeted Richard at the door with an indignant yowl demanding attention. He crouched down to scratch the jet black cat behind her ears.

“Hey. Those nice ghosts keep you company while I was gone?” Jade purred under his ministrations.

“Yes we did.”

Richard swore, startled, and scrambled to stand. He darted his eyes back and forth, but there was nobody else in the hall with him. The voice had been a quiet murmur, but seemed to have been said right into his ear. He shook his head, pounding heart slowly returning to its usual beat.

“Well… Thanks.”

There was no response save Jade winding her way between Richard’s legs. He sighed, rubbing his face, and carefully walked his way into the kitchen, mindful of his cat underfoot.

Richard engaged in one of his more productive methods of stress relief: Baking. Before the day was out, there was a loaf of banana bread cooling on the counter, a rack of cookies stuffed full of chocolate, and a stack of fruit-filled pancakes getting buttered.

“Breakfast for dinner. Heh. Dad’d love to hear how I take after him.”

At the thought of his father, Richard caved in to the nostalgia and quickly fried up a few eggs to sandwich between the pancakes.

“There we go. Dad sandwich. Now where’d I put the syrup…” Richard began searching through his cupboards until he heard a scraping sound on the countertop. He saw the syrup bottle slide to a stop next to his plate of food. “Woah. Thanks. Man, who’d have thunk being haunted would be so nice?”

The only answer was the sound of furniture being upturned in the other room. Richard disregarded the crashes and thumps and tucked into his food. It was gone in an alarmingly short amount of time. He could feel a presence staring at him while he washed the dishes he had made. It was already late, and so, lulled by a stomach heavy with food and an arm full of purring cat, Richard fell asleep quickly.

The next day of work was much smoother. Rested and well fed, Richard was given more arduous tasks, which he accomplished with little fanfare. It was only when Richard was told to haul a toilet from one place to another that anyone commented on his work.

“You sure you’ve got that?” A short, blonde haired man asked. Richard racked his mind until it recalled his name: Cameron.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Richard grunted, hefting the full porcelain throne onto his shoulder.

“Don’t need a hand?”

“Nope. I’ve got it.” Richard began trotting to the place that the toilet was designated for.

“Man.” Cameron sighed. “You’re tougher than I thought. Where do you hide all that muscle?”

Richard shrugged, jostling the toilet enough that he had to stop and resettle it before moving on. “Under all the meat and cheese. I care more about food than I do about my figure. Plus, I’ve got a lot of leverage to throw around.”

“Fair enough, fair enough.”

They reached the platform that the toilet was to be bolted to and Richard set it down where he was directed. Cameron went to work setting the anchors while Richard moved on to the next job. The rest of the day was similar, Richard single handedly hefting eight foot tall panels of wood from one place to another, or helping to move heavy flooring to where it needed to go.

Richard’s muscles were sore when he got home that night, but it was a good ache. The burn of a day well spent. He was grateful for the food he had prepared yesterday to tide him over, even if was just bread.

Even still, tired from work and sated from dinner, Richard found that sleep would not take him. He shifted and turned as much as he could with one arm pinned beneath Jade. Finally, thinking that night would be another sleepless one, Richard made to extract his arm from his cat. However, Jade was being stubborn, and staunchly refused to let up her cushion.

Richard was making to pull Jade off of his arm, but he felt a breeze tousle his hair. Something whispered in his ear, and finally Richard felt his eyes droop under the weight of sleep. He lay himself back down and was vaguely aware of the sensation of fingers running through his hair, and judging by Jade’s purring she was experiencing something similar. The rest of the night passed in sleep.

Richard absolutely did not want to get up in the morning. The blankets weighed heavy on his limbs and he felt as though the mattress was swallowing him up in its soft embrace. However, Jade insisted that she needed to be fed, and so Richard dragged himself from the confines of his bed. The blankets clung to him as far as they could stretch before falling limp onto the floor.

Through the haze of restless sleep, Richard began preparing his breakfast after giving Jade her own. He was chopping an apple, paying little attention to the action and letting muscle memory perform the task for him. This lack of oversight lead to Richard nicking one of his fingers with the knife. It took a few moments for Richard to process this while he continued to chop the apple, but his attention was drawn to it when the knife was yanked out of his hand.

Richard’s head snapped to follow the knife as it went whizzing through the air. “Hey!” The bloodied blade was spinning and bending, dancing in the kitchen. “Hey hey hey hey hey!” Richard grabbed the cutting board, scattering the apple slices, and started swatting at the knife while it tried to shake itself apart.

Eventually Richard walloped the knife hard enough to slam it into the floor. He quickly pinned it underneath the cutting board with his own prodigious body weight. It was still struggling to free itself. “Quit it! Are you trying to kill someone?” The knife gave an extra violent tug, but Richard had it well trapped. “Keep this up and I’m grabbing Jade and going to fetch Miriam, you got me?”

The knife finally stilled. Warily, Richard slipped his hand under the cutting board and gripped the handle. When it didn’t resist, he pulled the utensil out and put it and the board on the counter.

“You fuckers try this shit around Jade and I exorcise this house. I don’t care if you try to pull something on me, but I will make sure you all suffer if you so much as pull a whisker off of my cat.”

The whole house gave a shudder, then fell still.

Sighing, Richard turned back to where he left his apple only to find a blood smeared mess. He checked his finger and only then began to feel the throbbing of the cut along the breadth of his pointer finger, sheeting blood over his hand. He surveyed the room and realized that in his wild swinging at the flying knife, he had flung droplets of his vital fluid all over the kitchen.

Richard dialed his boss and held the phone against his ear with his shoulder while he washed and bandaged his hand.

“Hey Vince, I’m gonna be late today. Had a bit of an accident and I gotta clean it up. Nah, I’m fine, but it made a mess that’s only gonna get harder to clean if I leave it. Alright. Yeah, see you in a bit.”

It took the better part of an hour and most of a roll of paper towels before Richard deemed the kitchen clear of blood spatters, though the walls, counters, and floor bore numerous nicks and scratches from where the knife glanced off of them. He had bandaged his finger and went to work, which was made a bit aggravating from the sensitive appendage, but he worked through it, going late to make up for his tardiness.

On the way home he visited a nearby restaurant supply store and bought garlic, sage, purified salt, and pure silver tableware. He made sure to leave them in his car so that the ghosts in the house could not get to them.

The view when he entered his house was downright childish.

A giant 6 6 6 was drawn in what looked and smelled like blood on the kitchen wall.

Richard sighed, flipped out his personal knife, and slashed across his palm. With the welling blood, the owner of the house improved the smudges on the wall.

It now read 69 69 69.

If the ghosts in the house were going to be childish, Richard was glad to reciprocate. Though cutting his palm was, perhaps, a tad impulsive.

“Today really hates my hand, doesn’t it?” Richard muttered to himself as he bandaged his hand. His first aid kit was in a bathroom, and upon returning to the kitchen, there was a new addition to the blood stained wall. It was also written in blood, but in a much more angular and graceful handwriting.

‘Nice’ the note read.

#update #the seven friendly sins #jack trades writing #chapter 2

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lovchearts · 7 years

Text

Boy Next Door - Derek Hale

Relationship: Derek x Reader

Request: @julieanncupcake said: can you do derek hale imagine where him and the reader are neighbors (and they secretly like each other) but they will do favors for each other like mow the other persons lawn or bake cookies/cook dinner for the other person and its really fluffy?

A/N: This was such a cute idea! I had so much fun writing this. It was one of my favorite requests by far!

Word Count: 1782

____________________

It was mid-Summer when you moved into the modern home neighborhood. You went home searching with your best friend earlier in the season, once the lease on your apartment was up. After looking at other, more luxurious apartments, condos, cozy homes, and just about every other place you could live you finally found the perfect one.

Your closest friends and some of your family helped you pack up the U-Haul, and unload once you arrived at your new home. The building was beautiful. A balance of gray stone and brick sculpted the outside. The garage and roof were both tan, complimenting one another. The front door was solid black stained wood and the grass was perfectly green.

The home was not something someone your age could usually afford. Most people were living in an apartment or sharing a home with several other roommates. All of that hard work and dedication was finally paying off.

Your dream as a little girl and teenager had always been to decorate your own house the way you wanted. When you were eight, you dreamed of the walls being purple, with pink furniture and sparkly decor. When you were twelve, you had seriously pondered the thought of hanging your favorite musician’s posters in every room. Finally, a year or so before moving into the nice home, you had settled on exactly how it would be decorated.

You spent several days decorating the home. You had previously purchased all of the decors to save time so that you could settle into your new home and start at your new job a little bit more smoothly. It was perfect, your dream was finally coming true. You were living on your own, and financially stable.

Once you had decorated the inside of your new home, and added outdoor furniture to the patio leading to your good sized backyard, you made your way across the street to introduce yourself to your new neighbors. The two houses on either side of you were for sell, being that the neighborhood was fairly new. Out of the seven houses that had been built so far, only four had been moved into.

You introduced yourself to the elderly lady that lived diagonally to the left of you. She was sweet, and welcomed you to the area, saying how wonderful it was to live there. You thanked her and walked to the next home, which was straight across from yours.

A woman around your age answered the door with a smile, greeting you before calling a man from within the house. Her husband, she introduced him as. They were lovely and mentioned that you could come over for wine anytime. You simply thanked them and continued your adventure onto the last house.

You knocked on the similar wooden door to the rest and waited for a few moments, hoping that they were home so that you could be done with introducing yourself. Meeting new people wasn’t always your thing. You could see the top of a head through the glass towards the top of the door, and it slowly peered open.

A man who seemed to be around your age toward above you, his fame broad and muscular. He had almost black hair, and stubble lined his sharp jaw. Your eyes met his green ones.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” You stuck your hand out to him, in hopes that he would shake it and not slam the door in your face. He was intimidating, being that he was so tall, and could obviously clear anything in his path. “I just moved in across the street. I just wanted to introduce myself.”

“Derek.” Thankfully, his hand met yours, gripping it firmly and shaking it. “Welcome to the neighborhood.” He smiled down at you and loosened his grip on you.

“It’s nice to meet you, Derek.”

“You too.” He flashed another pearly white smile and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

“Well, I should get going. My family’s coming over for dinner.”

Derek nodded politely, saying goodbye and shutting the door once you’d turned your back to walk home.

You pondered the thought of the boy next door as you chopped up veggies for the dinner you were making. He was definitely good looking, as well as charming. But, you hadn’t properly gotten to know him yet so you couldn’t judge him too much.

A couple of weeks had gone by, and you still had some things you hadn’t bought for your home. For example- a lawn mower. It was towards the end of July and the heat was blazing, however, it had been raining an abnormal amount the previous months. This meant that the grass was growing like crazy, and you had no way to get rid of it.

You woke up one day and peered out of your bedroom window at the small neighborhood, including your awfully long grass that looked terrible compared to the rest of the lawns. But, the grass wasn’t long anymore.

There he stood, pushing a lawn mower throughout your front yard. The blades of grass flew every which way as he grazed over them. He sported black basketball shorts and a tank top. You could see the sweat dripping down his toned biceps as he turned slightly pink in the sun’s heat.

You quickly threw on a pair of jean shorts and a tee shirt, brushing your teeth and combing through your hair. Trying to catch him before he was done, you quickly walked towards the front door, pulling it open and drawing his attention to you. He turned the mower off, pulling out one of the earbuds that were previously in his ear.

“Derek. What are you doing?”

You couldn’t help but scold yourself for asking such a stupid question. It’s pretty obvious Y/N, he’s mowing your lawn.

“Oh hey Y/N, I’m mowing your lawn. I was out doing some work and noticed your grass was getting a bit long, so I decided I’d do a pretty girl a favor.”

Your breath hitched in your throat at his referral to you. Trying not to make it obvious that you were flustered, you nodded and pulled the door shut behind you, walking to the edge of the sidewalk.

“Well thank you. I haven’t been able to pick up a lawn mower yet, so I had no way of taming this insane grass. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. You don’t mind if I go around back to mow back there too, do you?”

“Oh no, not at all. Would you like something to drink? I can grab you a bottle of water if you’d like.”

He gave you a soft grin, twirling the cord of the earbuds around his fingers. “Please.”

Turning around and heading back into the house, the chill of the AC made you shudder. You picked up a bottle from the fridge and traced your steps back out to where your new neighbor stood.

He turned around once he heard the door open again, taking the bottle from you and politely thanking you. Excusing yourself with the fact that you had work to catch up on, you tracked back into the home.

You had to thank Derek with more than words. You contemplated the question for a moment, finally deciding on baking him cookies. You brought out your mom’s old chocolate chip cookie recipe, whom she’d gotten from her mom, and so on and so forth.

You brought out all of the ingredients, preheating the stainless steel oven to the needed degree. You mixed all of the factors, rolling the dough into small spheres and placing them evenly on a baking sheet. After putting them in the oven and letting them bake, you gathered them up in a plastic container.

A little bit over an hour had passed now, and you decided to deliver the baked goods to Derek. You knocked on his door, just like you had the night you met. The door opened faster than it had that night.

Derek stood tall, as always. His cheeks were slightly pink from being in the sun earlier on in the day.

“Hey, I made you cookies. To thank you for mowing my lawn.”

He chuckled, taking the container from you once you’d offered it.

“Well thank you.” It was your turn to chuckle as he repeated your exact words from your previous conversation.

“No problem.” You paused for a moment, contemplating if you should add the next part. “Would you want to come over for dinner tomorrow night?”

He paused for a moment. “I would love to come over for dinner tomorrow night. That is if we classify it as a date.”

“It’s a date.” You obliged, smiling softly at him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night, Y/N.”

“See ‘ya, Derek.”

You turned away from the door and he shut it, just like the night a few days earlier. You started your walk back across the street, this time with a little bit more pep in your step.

Maybe Derek was more than just the boy next door.

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savetopnow · 6 years

Text

2018-03-23 03 SPORTS now

SPORTS

Barstool Sports

Girl Scouts Change Their Rules And Make It Okay To Sell Girl Scout Cookies In Front Of Weed Dispensaries

College Baseball Announcer Becomes Befuddled While Reading A Pitcher’s Bio Filled With Always Sunny Quotes

Rory McIlroy Announces Tiger Woods Is The Undisputed Greatest Player Of All Time

Is It Acceptable For Some Strange Lady To Take A Selfie With My Dogs Without Permission?

Michael Rapaport gives an inspirational Slam Dunk contest speech and his NBA mid-season awards

Deadspin

Terry Funk Scouts The Budding Brawl Between “Two Assholes” Trump And Biden

Pretty Much All The Good NBA Players Are Hurt

Report: Kawhi Leonard's Teammates Are Fed Up With Him, But He Still Doesn't Want To Come Back

Myles Turner's Big Dunk Created A Great Bench Reaction

This Hilariously Good Philips OneBlade Deal Is Worth It Even If You Already Own One

ESPN

Giants trade Pierre-Paul to Bucs for 2 picks

Barnwell's NFL trade grades: Bucs deal for Jason Pierre-Paul

Why 2018 could be monumental for Trout

Tiger fan sends his doctor thank you gift

Live: Johnny Manziel throws at San Diego pro day

FiveThirtyEight Sports

Why Gonzaga, Not Kentucky, May Be The Tournament’s Luckiest Team

Jim Boeheim Is The New King Of March Madness

The Utah Jazz Might Just Be For Real

Why Can’t The Rockets Be The Warriors?

James Harden Is Still Drawing 3-Point Fouls Better Than Entire NBA Teams

Reddit Sports

Bamboozled

Teammate of mine threw a toe flick at a tournament this week (Miami Boogiemen, High Tide 2018)

Zlatan Ibrahimovic set to leave Manchester United imminently

Malik Beasley commits an embarrassing turnover vs. the Bulls

Paulinho Boracini scores a 3 pointer after a pass to himself on a free throw to win the game.

SB Nation

The Jason Pierre-Paul trade could have major implications for the 2018 NFL Draft

Anthony Davis’ one-man rampage shows the joy and limits of individual brilliance

The Browns have won 1 game in 2 years — and they have better Super Bowl 53 odds than 4 teams

2 Spurs dispute report that players ‘implored’ Kawhi Leonard to return from injury

College basketball coaching rumors: Louisville to meet with Xavier’s Chris Mack

Sports Illustrated

Everton Striker Reveals Reason Why Crystal Palace Move Fell Apart Last Summer

Arsenal & England Midfielder Jack Wilshere Out of Netherlands Friendly After Another Injury Setback

BBC Pundit Garth Crooks Praises 'Steel' & 'Nerve' of Crystal Palace Star

Argentina Boss Jorge Sampaoli Reveals Paulo Dybala & Mauro Icardi Might Not Make World Cup Squad

When Is the 2018 Masters?

The Ringer

Trading Jason Pierre-Paul Doesn’t Mean the Giants Are Picking Bradley Chubb

Why Beatdowns Matter

A Begrudging Appreciation of Syracuse Basketball

What Deleting Facebook Does and Does Not Accomplish

Man on Chopper Chopped in Half: ‘9-1-1’ Watch, Week 10

Yahoo! Sports

2018 NFL Mock Draft: Giants trade down with Bills, still get a QB

Pro Football Weekly's mock draft 1.0: QBs dominate; Browns, Broncos and Colts pass on Saquon Barkley

NBA says Marcus Morris' last-second winner for Celtics against Thunder shouldn't have counted

LeBron's historic night leads Cavs past Raptors, Howard tallies rare 30-30

Yankees played their Aaron Judge cards perfectly

#sports

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swipestream · 6 years

Text

Christopher Robin is NOT Completely Rotten!

The latest in a long string of live-action remakes of Disney classics, Christopher Robin took a different tack because it would be absolutely impossible to duplicate in a live-action film the charming and whimsical frame of the Winnie the Pooh movie, wherein rain would (for example) cause water to spill out of the page of the storybook, washing away some of the letters. (The original is a classic, a must-see children’s movie, and the new shorts that chop it up into several pieces and which replace the original narration with John Cleese are appallingly bad.)

Instead of re-telling the stories of a schoolboy and his menagerie of colorful woodland friends—Tigger, Piglet, Eeyore, Rabbit, Owl, Kanga, Roo, and Winnie the Pooh—and their adventures in the 100 Acre Wood, this movie starts where the animated film ends: with Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh’s last day together, and him bidding a tearful good bye to his friends as he leaves for boarding school.

The opening of the movie shows what happens next: boarding school, graduation, meeting a girl, marriage, serving in the front lines of World War 2, coming home, and trying to make a living with his wife and daughter in trying economic times. Along the way, Christopher Robin’s forgotten about his—in this movie, totally real—childhood companions, as well as the virtue of laughter and play. So intent on working is he that he misses out on the joys of life.

He works out of necessity, it must be pointed out, not for love of money. He skips holiday with his wife and child because he’s threatened with being sacked if he does not, then he spends the weekend crunching numbers trying to cut costs so he can save the jobs of his co-workers. He is working hard for the right reasons, but has let those reasons gradually lead him away from his family and from living well. He is blinded to what might give him joy, and his joylessness affects those around him. Enter Pooh, who drags him back to the 100 Acre woods for a charming adventure with his old friends which helps him re-center his life a bit.

The trailers made this look like another cookie cutter anti-bourgeoise, anti-business tract: “Working in factories destroys your soul! Everyone should become a rock star!” True, the movie features a callous and self-centered boss, but he’s actually the son of the business owner, who’s a much more reasonable man. And the solution, in the end, isn’t to turn on, tune in, and drop out, but for the company to expand its business by catering to new markets. This movie isn’t an attack on hard work and the free market, because working hard to sell to the market is what saves his co-workers’ jobs (and impresses the boss, in all likelihood meaning Christopher Robin has a brighter future because of his hard work).

The movie is sentimental, warm-hearted, and entirely free of the bitterness and virtue-signaling so prevalent in modern movies. There are no risque or tasteless jokes; the dad isn’t a moron or fool in dire need of being set straight by his all-knowing wife (isn’t quite that, she’s upset that he spends too much time working, for good reason, but then again he has good reasons for working too hard as well); the parents love their children, and children love them right back. Present-day politics are entirely absent, there’s no obvious stand-ins for current political figures or issues, and in eschewing today’s politics, it gives the movie a chance to attain timelessness.

I am incapable of judging whether or not children would like the film, although I think they would because children these days have an insatiable appetite for absolute trash (including a children’s TV series based around making Halloween themed cupcakes and also Mario something or other Let’s Plays), but it is a family film through and through and worth taking the family to see.

<em>Christopher Robin</em> isn’t completely rotten, and that’s good enough for me.

Jasyn Jones, better known as Daddy Warpig, is a host on the Geek Gab podcast, a regular on the Superversive SF livestreams, and blogs at Daddy Warpig’s House of Geekery. Check him out on Twitter.

Christopher Robin is NOT Completely Rotten! published first on https://medium.com/@ReloadedPCGames

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meowizard · 1 year

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judging cookies wood chopping forms part???

from someone who's taken classes

she almost has the right posture!! if only her shoulders were rotated more,, her grip looks firm and the arc she's making is nice, if not a little too high. her veil is against every rule in the book, and she's only using one hand, but i'm so impressed by her transfer of weight that i'll give her a 7/10

awful. same as black pearl: there's no weight coming from anywhere, and definitely nothing is going to happen to that wood. he's only using one hand, and the arc is... there's no arc. its nonexistent. the only thing he's got going for him is that his eyes are open. 1/10

his coat is a giant hazard, he's one-handed, his eyes are closed, his stance is abysmal and honestly so bizarre i kind of respect it?? but no one is above safety measures. that being said, his grip is firm and he's chopping below his waist in a wide arc... even if its backwards. 3/10

same as parfait, the sleeves are worrying me. and she's not chopping low enough, but i can attribute that to her teeny-tiny size. you can see the axe wobble a bit on the peak of the swing, meaning her grip is loose and the axe is likely to fly out of her hand. will she care if she hurts someone? probably not. 1/10

.... i don't know how transfer of weight works in tripedal creatures,,,,,,,,, but i'm willing to say it almost looks like they're too excited for this job. there's too much rebound when the axe makes contact - it's swinging it too high and the messy arc makes them lose the momentum. good grip though. 2/10

it's very obvious she's learnt this in a book before actually doing it - you can practically hear her counting chop-2-3-chop-2-3... i'm also VERY happy she's using two hands. she's even placing her left hand at the top before sliding it down as she swings!! although her right hand is a little too high, and she's definitely not strong enough: you can see the axe wobble upon contact. 9/10

i am NOT a fan of the way they hug it to themselves, it literally maximises the chance of it flying out of their grip. also they're FLYING, which explains the odd angle of the axe at the bottom of the swing. other than that their form is good, they're just not likely to get any clean cuts. if you want splinters this is who you call. 3/10

he's whipping it up and down past his head like a tomahawk!! i can't figure this out!! i suppose the explanation would be he's too tall for whatever he's chopping, but, like, he's chopping almost at shoulder height! he has a strong centre of gravity though. he's rotating his shoulders and you can very clearly see the transfer of weight in his legs, which is nice, but his arm is clipping through his pauldron to get there! 5/10

i know their suit probably hinders movement a lot, but their grip is flimsy and they're likely to pull a muscle from the lack of back support.... or at least they would be, were they not full of water. there's no arc or balance. they glance at the axe before they swing. but they're still getting pity points for being a sentient fishbowl. 2/10

while she displays a safe, low swing and a strong chop, i'm disappointed in her one-handedness, especially as someone who should know this. she has no centre of gravity; if she's whipping the axe up that fast she's going to fall over. there's the slightest shift in her left leg, which i guess looks positive but honestly is the only thing not keeping her from falling. 2/10

#judging cookie's wood chopping #cookie tag #<3 #stardust cookie #milky way cookie #blueberry pie cookie #space doughnut #angel cookie #candy diver cookie #captain caviar cookie #dark choco cookie #pastry cookie #avocado cookie

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meowizard · 2 years

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rating cookie's forms while chopping wood part two

by someone who's taken classes

immediately, i'm struck by the fact that they're not only using one hand, their other hand is.... supporting their arm? PLUS their legs are CROSSED??, and not only does that mean they could pull a muscle, all their strength is coming from their shoulder, which puts them at high risk of dislocating something if they swing it any faster. 1/10

strawberry my beloved you've restored my faith. she doesn't have a tight grip of the axe, but she is holding it near the head and then sliding down as she swings. YES. she's not angled right but she gets a pass because shes 13. 9/10

oh good lord. they start off alright, but then??? let go?? of the axe, making it look like they're throwing it at the wood like a swingball...?. . points for being funny but that is a terrifying thing to do with an axe. also, another child that should not be chopping wood. 4/10

gramps? are you using magic sparkles to chop wood again? whatever. he's swinging it below his waist in a very nice arc, and has his hand firmly enough around the axe for me not to be nervous, but again, one hand. i really hope the flower can see for him. 6/10

DTUFJZTJDTXJUTDTZZKSKSJS he fucking HATES this on god look at him. not only that, but hitting this with your non-dominant hand and backwards is likely to hurt AND take a long ass time on top of every other thing he's doing wrong. 0/10 i'm just sorry they did this to u king

okay it's. kind of impossible to chop wood completely safely with. yknow. one arm. soooo ig she's angled herself right and she gets 5/10

i wish his right hand was a liiiiittle higher at the peak of the swing, but other than that he's doing very well!,!... is what i would say if his eyes weren't fuckin closed!!! and WHERE pray tell is your passion?!?! 7/10!!!!

stepping forward as you swing is very wrong and dangerous, and, shes not holding it right. it looks like shes hitting below her waist, but thats moot if she's swinging so far she could dislocate something. 2/10

swinging the axe behind your head and out of your peripherals is SO dangerous oh my god. the arc is nice, but she's holding it by the end of the handle which means it could so easily slip out of her hands. however, i don't doubt she doesn't know what she's doing. 3/10

NOPE! his clothes are a huge goddamn hazard, he's holding the axe by the end, his body is completely forward and he's hitting at face height!!! he's likely to get more splinters than firewood, 1/10

#lots of low scorers in this one #(i am up 4 requests also)#cookie tag #affogato cookie #cream unicorn cookie #strawberry cookie #beet cookie #poison mushroom cookie #caramel arrow cookie #clover cookie #pure vanilla cookie #black raisin cookie #espresso cookie #judging cookie's wood chopping

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meowizard · 2 years

Text

rating cookie's forms while chopping wood part one

from someone who's taken classes

starting off very strong! she's using both hands; sliding her top hand down when she swings. her body is angled correctly, although she does seem to slightly lose her balance at some point, judging how she moves her front foot. crucially, she doesn't seem to be looking at the target, so 9/10

you may think i'm biased, but this is genuinely alright! she's not exactly holding it correctly, but that's fine because of the short distance. she's going for accuracy rather than power, which, for a beginner, will yield better results. i wouldn't hire her though. 7/10

no. she's looking at the target for a second, she's not even pretending to hold it right, i- ugh. her feet aren't on the ground, meaning there's no power and next to nothing is going to happen to that wood. she is managing to hit in an arc down and below her waist, so she scrapes her way to 1/10

here's the Actual Axeman- ..... maybe the axe is far too small, but dude, no one is above proper form. i'm perplexed. its very natural for him, and you can tell by the fact he doesn't brace at all for impact. but... he's hitting the wood adjacent to his shoulders. he's holding it like it's a tennis racquet. i was hoping for better. 6/10

he's trying to go for the biggest swing, and the transfer of weight is too much for him. the axe looks like it could slip out of his hands at any moment. he's angled himself right, but that's how you get this big swing. bonus points because no one should have given him an axe. 2/10

cheating bastard. i guess??? i fucking GUESS??? their form is good??? but there's no way i can't give blackberry a 0/10.

he's not a lumberjack, we get it. i don't know why he's bending like that, or why he's leaning back. there is attempt to hold it correctly, but his right arm should be much nearer the head of the axe. 4/10

theres a tiny rebound on the axe, and he loses his balance (very similarly to alchemist!), so he shouldn't be swinging it this far. he wouldn't get anything chopped quickly or neatly, per se, but it would be fine for firewood. 7/10

dreadful!!! on god!!! his coat is making me SO nervous. he's doing some strange hip action that puts his leg muscles at risk of being pulled. he's likely to harm someone else, if not himself, chopping that high. 2/10

he has no fucking clue what he's doing. clearly, he's only been observing tea knight - the one-handedness (literally. he only has one arm), the unblinking, the shoulder-high chops.... he assumes proper form like the book-smart nerd he is, but, to be honest, he's more helpful around his antiques. 3/10

part two

#long post #cookie tag #yeah I'm tagging them afucka you #princess cookie #blackberry cookie #tea knight cookie #alchemist cookie #vampire cookie #almond cookie #sparkling cookie #pancake cookie #black pearl cookie #judging cookie's wood chopping

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meowizard · 1 year

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Do you think you could rate how Tiger lily chops Wood I mean she's lived in a forest all her life I'm assuming that she'd be at least OK at it

she's swinging behind her head, and doesn't quite have the transfer of weight down, but her arms? delight me. they're one degree shy of perfect: her right hand is higher than the left and slides down as she swings. the only thing i would change is her stance, its a bit wide. oh, and and she's swinging a little high, but still a solid 8/10

very very good! his feet are firmly in the right place, his hips are facing sideways and the transfer of weight is clear and very strong. i'd reccommend he try swinging more from his torso if he wants more strength behind it, but i get the idea thats not what he's going for because of the small swing. this also excuses him from the low hand position, cause it's not going to fly out of his grip and the arc is very nice :) 9/10

hate it. he's managing to... reverse... the transfer of weight by pulling away as he swings forward. coward behaviour. his right arm is flapping around weirdly, and it makes it look like his shoulders are on a total swivel, which is a dangerous sign, and he's not going to get anything chopped - at least, not quickly. his confidence gets him his points though. 2/10

why does he look like that what are his legs doing why is he bendy why is he chachachaing real smooth i dont like it. i do like the implication he's an extension of the blade in theory, but in practise this is an incredibly unsafe way to wield an axe. it's weak form, it's too high of an arc and wayyy too close to his face - look, he's even squinting to avoid the splinters! 1/10

his grip? flimsy. his arc? messy. his legs? unstable. his hands? too low on the handle. he's definitely swinging from his back, though! the turn is clear.... i'm almost willing to say he's displaying a good transfer of weight? whatever the case, the lackadaisical leg-kick totally negates that as i am worried he's going to fall over. also someone warn him his pack is slipping bc why does he have a bulge. 5/10

wipe that silly boy smirk off your face this is one of the worst ways to hold an axe. its akin to frost queen's, and that's not a compliment. i can't even judge this because he's not DOING ANYTHING. he looks like he's praying for someone to take pity on him and take over so he can go read. 0/10

terrible! see above. even if you're left handed, you should be standing on the other side of the wood to chop down a tree. all his strength is coming from his hips, somehow? he's doing a strange thrusting thing without moving his knees or shoulders - kudos for squatting while chopping, but if you have normal muscles you're soooo likely to hurt yourself king 1/10

her body is facing more forwards than anyone, which restricts her movement a lot. she's only using one hand - although to be fair, her strength doesn't come directly from her shoulder as she does a little *tense* before swinging that probably decreases the chance of pulling a muscle. i know kougin amann has disproportionate strength so this is an illusion, but no one is above proper form, and this is not proper form. 2/10

#soreyyyyyy i had this in my drafts for YEONKS #kougin amann cookie #prune juice cookie #capsaicin cookie #ninja cookie #tiger lily cookie #judging cookies wood chopping #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #tl tag #yam cookie #milk cookie #adventurer cookie #judging cookie's wood chopping

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meowizard · 1 year

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judging cookie's forms while chopping wood part three

from someone who's taken classes

good! very good! his left hand should be higher at the peak of the swing, and he's picking up his feet a little for some reason (probably because the axe is too heavy), but that's fine because he's focused and won't hurt himself :) he's angled mostly right too. 8/10

christ in heaven she's not paying attention at all! she's not putting much force into it, but that's not a bad thing; it'd be perfect if she had both hands on the large sharp tool she's using but she doesn't so. bzzzt. to be fair, she's chopping lightly and low, so she won't hurt herself, she's putting more effort into her fan than chopping,,.,.,. 2/10

UGHHH THEIR FEET AREN'T ON THE FLOOORRRRR. ignoring everything else, there's no power behind the swing and i doubt the axe is going to hit the same place twice. i guess it's below their face and away from their face. 1/10

don't kyaa at me like this when your hands aren't touching the handle. all her strength is coming from her elbow and she's 100% gonna pull something if she does this for more than 30 minutes. she's not looking at her target and the axe is going to slip out her hand, however she is #girl sooo 3/10

BABY baby noooo OHHH she's doing SO WELL!!!! it looks like she's forgetting to bring her right hand down at impact, and she's trying to hit below her waist but she's too smaaaaaallll oh they shouldn't have given her an axe girlie queenie i'm so sorry they did this to you. 10/10 <3

god awful. you fucking donkey. /ref i mean listen i like the lax arm-out thing he does in every animation but in every technical sense no human being should be this off balance and holding an axe, let alone swatting it at the wood like it's a fly. the axe is RIGHT next to his face + he's not angled right + this is the loosest grip yet + ratio. 0/10

hm. nice! i'm a but concerned about the way she.. hugs it to herself, but she extends her arms at impact and i'm confident she knows her way around a sharp weapon. the arc's kinda nasty because she's losing momentum by having it so close to her face. she'll do a good job with the wood, idc. 9/10

holding it backwards with his non-dominant hand (<- hand, singular), legs bent throughout the swing, all of the accuracy but none of the power. i feel mean calling this bad when he looks so happy with himself.,.,. but he's not a lumberjack. it's not for him. 3/10

also.... ehhhh. one handed, but she wont dislocate anything because shes twisting her whole torso. the hat's limiting her view - her peripherals at least, which, technically you still need to make sure no one else will get hurt...? so still a point down. she's got a good grip on it. whatever. 7/10

i.... can't make head or tails of this. i think i don't see his right hand, so let's assume he's holding it backwards and (again assuming he's left handed) the wrong way, AND. one handed. he gets points for being a 13 year old given an axe. (also, is this a different axe asset??) 6/10

#cookie tag #judging cookie's wood chopping #chili pepper cookie #rye cookie #wizard cookie #kumiho cookie #wildberry cookie #devil cookie #knight cookie #onion cookie #parfait cookie

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