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onechicago-upsteadrhekker · 3 years

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the trouble with wanting (is i want you) - upstead two-shot

Hey guys! Back with something I started back in April when the season was cut short and Hailey was last seen in NYC. I just now got around to finishing it (finally!) and it has turned into two parts so be on the lookout for chapter two in the near future!

It’s no ‘Heartbeat on the Highline’ by @fromiftowhen (which you should read if you haven’t), but it’s a juicy little New York scenario that I have had a lot of fun with!

I also have to give a huge huge shoutout to @mashleighh for always being there to scream over upstead and fanfiction! Thanks for all the help and being a great listener, friend!

I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!

Read on AO3

Five weeks. That’s how long Hailey has been gone.

It’s been five weeks since she’d shown up at his door at midnight to stiffly tell him she was going to New York to help out the FBI for a couple of weeks.

It was only for a couple of weeks. That’s what she’d told him.

He would be lying if he said that when Hailey told him she was leaving that his heart didn’t stop in his chest. And that when two weeks turned into three then four and then five, he didn’t feel like he’d been punched in the stomach? Well, he’d be lying then too.

Because the truth is, he feels like he’s been holding his breath ever since she’d stepped out of his house that night.

And despite her assurances that she’d be back as soon as the FBI would let her, he still couldn’t shake the nagging thoughts of maybe she would like it better in New York. That she did, in fact, like how the feds did things. That she did like the extra pay and the nice suits after all.

But when she’d called him a few nights ago and told him she was absolutely sure that she was on her last case with the FBI and would be home as soon as she was finished, he couldn’t seem to wipe the permanent grin off his face and the feeling of utter relief.

He isn’t going acknowledge how much longer the past few days have seemed; even longer than they did before, or the little voice in the back of his mind telling him that she still had time to decide to stay in New York because he knew she was good police—the best, and he knew Platt was right.

The feds did have a way of holding onto good people.

He doesn’t know what he would do if he lost Hailey to New York.

In the few weeks that Hailey’s been gone, he has come to realize exactly how much he relies on her, how much he craves for her presence and not only at work, when he’s off duty too. It took her being gone for him to understand how much she filled his every day.

His heart aches when he walks into the bullpen to see her chair empty, pushed under her desk with no coat hanging from the back. He feels strange only ordering one coffee instead of two and he doesn’t like how lonely it is in his truck without her in the passenger seat.

When he’s doing his paperwork, he looks up and expects to find blue eyes that aren’t there, and he feels cold sitting on her desk without her comforting presence beside him.

And he doesn’t much like the way Rojas keeps looking at him with knowing eyes ever since Hailey left and the officer filled her spot as his temporary partner. She’s quick on her feet and she provides him with sufficient backup, but it just isn’t the same. It isn’t Hailey.

He feels like a piece of him is missing. The piece that knows what he’s thinking without words. The piece that understands him with a single look. The solid feel of her right there next to him, watching his back literally and figuratively.

A few times he’d found himself driving towards her house to see if she wanted a drink or to watch some TV only to remember she wasn’t there.

She’s in New York. With the FBI.

And God, did he miss her.

When Jay woke that morning, something just hadn’t felt right. Things just felt off. It was the same feeling he’d gotten hundreds of times before; in Afghanistan, in Chicago, before shootouts and raids that didn’t go exactly according to plan.

He had that feeling that something bad had happened or was about to and he just couldn’t seem to shake it even though everything seemed normal.

But his skin still felt prickly and the hairs were still standing up on the back of neck and he still heard that little voice in the back of his head whispering that something wasn’t quite right.

He pushed it to the back of his mind as he went through his morning routine of running, working out and showering, hoping that it would go away before he got to work.

When he got to the district, nothing seemed amiss. Trudy was there to greet him with her usual no-nonsense attitude and a stack of paperwork, and his friends called out cheery ‘good morning’s’ as he walked into the bullpen. Adam had just gotten there too, slapping Jay on the back as a way to say ‘hello’ before they each joined the others at their respective desks to fill out paperwork from the case they’d finished the day before and Voight was holed away in his office as usual.

The only thing that was out of place was the empty chair across from him, missing the bright smile and sparkling blue eyes.

Sighing, Jay pulled out his chair, dropping the stack of paperwork on his desk as he sat down, reaching for one of Hailey’s pens because his were always missing. He was about half a page through his report when that bad feeling flared up again, Voight coming out of his office with a hint of worry on his face.

He wouldn’t have been able to tell that something was off if he didn’t know Voight so well or if he hadn’t been hyper-aware of everything this morning. That and the fact Voight stood at the head of the room, silently waiting till everyone’s attention was on him with his hands in his pockets and that look on his face. The one that said something was wrong.

Everyone pretty much immediately picked up on the change of atmosphere; the once comfortable silence turning into a tense one with alarmed looks quickly being shared.

Jay was about to say something when Kim beat him to it, “What’s wrong, sarge?”

“I just got a call from New York.”

Jay’s stomach dropped and his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. He couldn’t breathe.

No. This couldn’t be happening.

Voight glanced at him before addressing Intelligence as a whole, “It’s Hailey. She got hurt last night during an undercover assignment. She’s in the hospital.”

Blood was rushing through his ears and Jay felt like he was about to pass out.

Hailey was hurt. She was in the hospital. And he wasn’t there.

When Jay remembered to breathe, he felt like he was on the verge of hyperventilating.

He’d known something like this was going to happen. It was his job to protect her and he wasn’t there. He never should have let her go without him because if he had been there, he would’ve never let her get hurt.

She was his partner.

He clenched his fists, anger filling him alongside the worry and panic. Anger at whoever the hell was supposed to be looking out for her because they obviously hadn’t done a very good job.

How could anyone be so careless with her safety?

In the back of his mind, Jay knew that it probably wasn’t anyone’s fault. He knew better than most that getting injured on the job was just par the course, but he still couldn’t help the icy fear that gripped him and the need to blame someone and the feeling that she wouldn’t be hurt if he had been there.

Because if anything ever happened to her… He would never forgive himself.

“Hurt? What does that mean?” It was Vanessa’s slightly distressed voice speaking up that broke him out of the trance he’d been in.

Jay’s eyes quickly snapped to Voight’s face. His boss shook his head in uncharacteristic concern, “I don’t know. I didn’t get the details. Whoever called didn’t know, just that she was in the hospital, but I’ve got calls in with the Special Agent in Charge of the field team Hailey’s with. I’ll find out.”

He met all their worried gazes, “But in the meantime,” Voight turned to Jay, pausing, “I want you on the next plane out of here going to New York.”

He didn’t have to tell him twice. Jay was already standing up and grabbing his coat, fully intending to go straight to the airport when Voight caught his gaze again, a slightly strange expression on his face.

A protective look that Jay didn’t entirely understand passed between them.

“Go get our girl. Bring her home.”

“Jay?” Vanessa hesitantly poked her head around the corner of the row of lockers.

He looked up from where he was shoveling random clothes he happened to have in his locker into a duffel bag. He had no intentions of going back to his apartment because Platt was working on getting him on the next flight into JFK and he didn’t want to risk missing the plane.

“She’s gonna be okay. You know that, right?” Vanessa’s voice was small and vulnerable in a way that reminded Jay just how new she was to the life of being a cop. Especially a cop in Chicago; in Intelligence.

But this didn’t happen in Chicago. And it didn’t happen while she was working in Intelligence. Hailey got hurt in New York working with the FBI; Without them. Without him.

She was alone and that thought by itself was enough to make Jay panic because as tough as he knew Hailey was, he knew she didn’t like being vulnerable in front of others. Especially people she didn’t know.

“Yeah, of course. I know that.” It was more clipped than he’d wanted to sound. His voice was strained even to his own ears and he knew he wasn’t convincing either of them.

Because the truth was, they didn’t know if it was going to be okay. They had no idea exactly how injured she was. Who knew? Jay might be in New York for quite a while depending on her injuries.

Or very little time. Long enough for arrangements to be made.

Jay blinked, shaking that thought out of his head as quick as he could. He forced himself to control his breathing and he could feel Vanessa’s eyes on him. That same gaze she’d had ever since Hailey left.

He refrained from snapping at her because she knew he was just as worried as he was. Hailey was her friend, and he wagered the closest thing she had to a sister so he went about his business, shoving random things he might need into his bag.

“You love her, don’t you?” Her words stopped him in his tracks.

He worked his throat; his heart picking up speed. He looked at her, “Of course I love her. She’s my partner.”

An odd little grin sprung onto Vanessa’s face and if Jay hadn’t been so panicked about Hailey, he might have asked why she was looking at him like that. That, and the fact that Trudy just appeared in the doorway behind Rojas.

“You’re on the 10:15 flight out of O’Hare so you’d better get a move on,” Her face was set in her usual stoic mask, but Jay could detect just a hint of worry hiding behind the older woman’s eyes as she held out his printed plane ticket.

Jay reached for it before grabbing a few more things to shove in his duffel, zipping it up and throwing it over his shoulder. Platt and Vanessa moved out of the doorway so he could get by.

Platt grabbed his hand, catching his eyes in a steadfast gaze, “Jay.”

Jay swallowed hard at the rare emotions swimming in the older woman’s gaze, “Call us, okay.”

Giving a firm nod, Jay squeezed Trudy’s hand before quickly turning to practically sprint down the hallway, disappearing around the corner.

Vanessa and Trudy stood there for a few long seconds looking in the direction Jay had gone. There was a quiet sniff and Platt glanced over to the young officer standing beside her with tears in her eyes.

The Sargent placed an arm around the girl’s shoulders for a quick second, “Hailey’s strong. She’ll get through it, whatever it is. And she has Jay. She’ll be fine.”

The plane ride was torturous.

Gut-wrenching fear consumed him, his thoughts running through every scenario he could think of.

Had she been shot? Or was it another on-the-job related injury?

If she had been shot, then where?

Did she need surgery? Was she in surgery now?

Was she scared? Was she in pain? Was she lonely?

Did she need him? Did she want him?

Vanessa’s words took over his thoughts, echoing over and over in his head.

You love her, don’t you?

You love her…

You love her.

He loves her.

Of course, he loves her. All he cares about is her.

And somewhere along the line, he’s fallen in love with her. Somewhere between longing glances, tugging heartstrings and flying bullets.

He’s been in love with her for over a year now, but he hadn’t truly realized it until now.

Not until she’d left him. Not until she’d gotten hurt and he was eight hundred miles away. Not until Vanessa Rojas looked him straight into the eyes and voiced an irrevocable truth he had been scared of.

And now, he might be too late.

What if she dies? What if she’d already died?

He muffled a sob and his leg bounced even harder much to the consternation of the lady beside him, but he didn’t care. He didn’t even notice the strange look that she sent his way.

Because all he cared about was Hailey, and the very real possibility that he could lose her before he even had a chance to have her consumed his thoughts.

How could he have been so stupid? Why had he let his fears get in the way of him telling her how he felt when it was clear that she reciprocated the feelings at least to a point.

He’d noticed the way she had become clingier after he’d gotten shot. And when he’d gotten better, how brightly she beamed at him.

He hadn’t wanted to read too much into it or get his hopes up, but those fears seemed silly now when death was on the line.

When life was so fragile, especially in their line of work.

His heart pounded in his chest and he literally felt sick with worry as he hung his head, clenched his sweaty fists and prayed as hard as he could.

Please let her be okay.

I love her.

I need her.

I can’t live without her.

As soon as the plane touched down, Jay was practically jumping out of his seat and squeezing by the person sitting next to him before grabbing his duffle that he’d shoved in the overhead storage. He used his badge to bypass the deboarding procedure, practically running down the gangway as soon as it was connected to the plane.

Voight had texted him the name of the hospital Hailey was at right before he’d boarded, but that was the only thing he had managed to find out so far.

And that was what was so agonizing. The not knowing.

Part of him wanted to know exactly what he was walking into, but the other part of him was scared to find out because then he wouldn’t be able to pretend it wasn’t that bad if he found out otherwise.

But then his brain would manifest all of these terrifying scenarios and images and he thinks nothing could be worse than what he was imagining.

It was a never-ending cycle of panic that wouldn’t end until he knew Hailey’s condition. And even then, it might not be ending for a while.

Jay pushed a few bills at the taxi driver, sliding out of the backseat with an urgency that could rival most New Yorkers. Shouldering his duffle, he forced himself to walk calmly into the hospital and up to the front desk.

“What room is Hailey Upton in?” He didn’t mean to sound so abrupt, but he couldn’t waste a single second. Not when he was so close to seeing her.

The lady at the desk didn’t seem to be bothered by it though, probably used to worried family members demanding to know where their loved ones were.

In fact, she smiled at him kindly if not a little sympathetically and he briefly wondered if he looked as harried as he felt.

“Let me see here,” She trailed off, her fingers clacking at the keyboard as she focused her attention on the screen in front of her.

Jay refrained from tapping his fingers on the desk even though he desperately wanted too, his fingers twitching for something to do.

A rifle in his hands or Hailey by his side; the two things that calmed him down the most effectively.

“She’s in room 308,” The words were barely out of her mouth before Jay tossed a breathy ‘thank you’ over his shoulder, following the signs pointing him in the direction of the stairs. He slammed into the push-door, bounding up the stairs three at a time.

The erratic beating of his heart had nothing to do with exerting himself, but with the thought of what he might find when he got to room 308. He was running now, passing a couple of nurse’s stations till he found the hospital rooms. His eyes scanned the room numbers, finding 308 and his breath was knocked right out of his chest.

Because there she was. And it was the most beautiful sight in the world.

The curtain was pushed to the side so he could clearly see into her room. She was sitting up in the bed, her face was a little pale and her hair looked a little disheveled, but none of that mattered.

All that mattered was that she was alive. Awake. Talking. And it didn’t matter that she was in a hospital bed, hooked up to various machines. She was still the most gorgeous thing he’s ever seen.

There were a few people in standing in the room, talking to her and Jay assumed they were part of the FBI team she’d been working with, but the only person he had eyes for was Hailey.

After letting the initial relief course through his body at the sight of Hailey sitting up, Jay snapped out of it, taking long strides towards her room.

He was in the sliding glass door frame before anyone noticed him. Hailey turned her head and they locked gazes. Jay felt tears spring into his eyes at the sight of her sparkling blue irises. He dropped his duffle, taking a few short steps to be at her bedside, “God, Hailey,” Was the only thing he managed to whisper.

He desperately wanted to scoop her up in his embrace, or maybe even kiss her, but he didn’t know the extent of her injuries and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, so he settled for rubbing a hand over his eyes.

Hailey blinked hard, wondering if she’d maybe hit her head last night or if the anesthesia was possibly making her hallucinate, but when she opened her eyes again, her partner who she hadn’t seen in over a month was still standing beside her, his face drawn with worry and relief.

She opened her mouth to say something, but the words got stuck in her throat when Jay met her gaze again, tears clearly swimming in his green eyes, “What happened, Hailey? When we got the word, we called and texted, but we didn’t know anything other than you got hurt last night.”

Hailey was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that Jay was here, in the flesh and standing beside her, his familiar presence comforting. She didn’t know how many times she’d craved for his warm, solid form beside her over her time in New York and even more so since last night and he was here.

Tears started pooling in her own eyes and she didn’t know if it was the fact that she’d just had a brush with death or if she’d just missed him so much or if it was all the drugs pumping through her veins, but she reached out to grab his elbow and tugged him closer to her as hard as she could even though OA, Emily and Kristen were watching.

Jay was clearly not expecting it, his arm automatically reaching out to brace himself on the bed so he didn’t fall on top of her, but Hailey didn’t care. She threw her arms around him, clutching onto his well-worn, black jacket desperately.

She hated hospitals as much as he did. The only difference was that she wasn’t a pain about it (or at least she tried very hard not to be).

But more than that, it had been five weeks. And she had missed him.

While that hadn’t been too surprising given her growing feelings towards him, she wasn’t entirely prepared for the unexpected shift in their relationship. Being gone had almost drawn them closer in a way with sleepy facetime calls and frequent texts that walked the very thin line of partners to something more.

The closer she got to being sent home the more she had been anticipating a warm reunion and a long overdue talk with Jay. A talk that she could sense Jay wanted to have in the subtle ways he let her know how much her being gone from him meant.

Hailey supposed it was true. Distance really does make the heart grow fonder.

But then she’d gotten hurt and she’d seen the scary possibility that she may never get to tell him how she feels flash before her eyes. That they may never have more than what they had been cultivating over her five week-long absence.

And then she’d woken up in a strange hospital with strange doctors and nurses and the wrong person at her side.

She didn’t think she’d ever wanted Jay as much as she had in those hazy drugged up moments and it wasn’t a lusty want. It wasn’t that at all. She wanted—no, she needed his comforting, sure presence beside her. It was like she didn’t know how to function, how to breathe, how to live without him and she’d almost had a panic attack as her foggy mind registered what had happened.

Promptly, she’d been given something to help her calm down that had put her to sleep before she’d had the chance to demand to see her phone so she could call Jay. She just needed to hear his voice, that was all.

When she’d woken back up for the second time, she felt much more in control of her facilities. She didn’t freak out at being in a hospital—one that was just as unfamiliar as the FBI office she’d been sent to. She forced herself to stay calm when she opened her eyes to find a team that she’d only met five weeks ago. And she forced herself not to show how desperately she needed her partner who was 800 miles away.

So, she’d smiled wanly as she pushed herself to sit up on the bed; OA, Kristen and Emily rushing to help her as she tried to hide a wince at the pain searing her torso. She’d even made a few jokes, playing off the fact that she felt like she was drowning because she was injured in a strange city, confined to a strange hospital and away from the people she loved.

But before she had a chance to ask if anyone had contacted her team or ask for her phone so she could call Jay—at least so she could feel like he was close to her, she’d looked up and he was there.

She’d never seen anything more beautiful.

And then she was hugging him, and she couldn’t care less that she was clutching onto him for dear life in front of OA, Kristen and Emily.

It was a shorter hug then either one of them really wanted but Hailey could feel her stitches pulling and she was having to breathe shallowly in order to avoid too much pain, so she pulled back. Her eyes instantly met green, overflowing with a number of emotions that made her already shallow breathing speed up.

Jay seemed to realize that there were other people in the hospital room at about the same time Hailey remembered a few members of her NYC team were still there.

He glanced between their slightly confused expressions and her a few times before he finally broke the awkward silence that was starting to descend upon the group, “What happened?”

Hailey could tell by the way he glanced in the direction of Emily, Kristen and OA (or more specifically OA) that he wasn’t too sure about their involvement and why they had let her land in the hospital. She gave him a look that told him it wasn’t their fault and after a brief battle of the eyes, he accepted it, but she could still detect a suspicious glint in his gaze.

“Nothing, really,” Hailey tried to smile convincingly enough to make Jay’s concerned expression disappear but when it didn’t, she added, “I’m fine. I promise.”

He was still staring her down when OA cleared his throat and Jay turned to him, slowly grasping OA’s outstretched hand in a firm handshake.

OA glanced at her before raising his eyebrows and addressing Jay as he withdrew his hand, “Uh, yeah. I wouldn’t say that she’s fine. She got shot last night and she literally just got out of surgery like an hour ago.”

Hailey frowned, shooting her temporary partner a look before meeting her actual partner’s openly distressed expression, “But I’m fine,” She stressed.

Jay shook his head, running a hand over his face, “Hailey, you scared the crap out of me.”

Not that she’d ever admit it, but her heart skipped a couple of beats at hearing that.

Recovering quickly, she fired back, “Well, now you know how it feels.”

Jay’s eyebrow furrowed as he frowned, “That’s not funny.”

“Maybe you’ll remember that the next time you go and get yourself shot,” Hailey responded smartly with a raised eyebrow.

Their eyes locked again, silently communicating as if they were the only two people in the world.

A throat clearing drew them out of the trance they’d fallen into, Hailey glancing over to a sheepish looking OA while Kristen and Emily traded a raised eyebrow.

“I’m OA and this,” He gestured to the girls standing beside him, “is Kristen and Emily.”

Hailey supposed that was her cue to introduce Jay so before he could do it himself, Hailey looked at her FBI team, nodding to the man that flew all the way from Chicago to be there, “This is Jay. My partner.”

Wow. She let that thought sink in. He flew all the way from Chicago just to see her. She felt tears prick her eyes and she wanted to just chalk it up to being overly tired and doped up on pain killers, but she knew it was more than that.

Turning her head so no one would notice her slightly wet eyes, she heard OA give Jay a warm greeting and he responded mostly in kind if not a little icy. She blinked a few times, returning her gaze to the people in her slightly crowded hospital room.

After a brief conversation of friendly banter, Kristen made a show of looking at her phone, “Looks like we’re needed back at HQ.”

OA nodded before looking between Hailey and Jay then settling his gaze on Hailey, “You get some rest, okay? We’ll talk later.”

She gave him a nod as Emily and Kristen made their way out of the small room, OA behind them and then suddenly, it was just her and Jay.

The room seemed even smaller somehow and had it always been this warm?

Slowly, she slid her gaze to the man standing beside her bed, not surprised to find his green eyes already trained on her. Green met blue and, in that moment, it felt like everything was right in the world again.

Because that ache for home, the longing in their souls; it’s funny how they were eight-hundred miles from their houses and yet it felt like they were finally coming home. That they were where they belonged.

Once again, unexpected tears pricked Hailey’s eyes and it hit her that she could have never seen him ever again. She could have died, and she would have never seen him looking at her with something that looked a lot like love.

She opened her mouth to say something. What, she didn’t know; how much she missed him while she was here, how when she’d gotten shot all she wanted was him, maybe even an ‘I love you’, but before any of that could leave her mouth, an enthusiastic nurse bustled through the door.

“Hi there, dear! My name’s Jeanie and I’ll be your nurse for the next little while,” The older lady chirped to Hailey in greeting, totally oblivious that she’d just interrupted a charged moment between the two detectives.

“How’s the pain level?” She continued brightly, messing with the computer in the corner of the room before turning her attention towards Hailey and that’s when she noticed Jay.

A mega-watt smile broke out on Jeanie’s face, “You must be the husband!” She declared cheerfully.

Hailey’s eyes went wide, and she tried not to choak on her own spit, expecting to hear Jay quickly correcting her, but he didn’t say anything. Before she could splutter out an interjection of her own, Jeanie turned her attention back to her.

The nurse gave her a wink and in a not so quiet whisper, she said, “What a hunk! If I weren’t so old, I’d jump his bones! What fun you two must have!”

She felt her cheeks flush at that, and she didn’t have to look to know that Jay’s ears were probably turning pink.

Jeanie opened her mouth to continue and Hailey wished that Jay would open his mouth to refute the claim he was her husband before the nurse had the chance to keep talking, but she wasn’t that lucky.

Giving her an impressed look, Jeanie nodded conspiratorially the grin still plastered on her face, “Well done for landing such a hottie.”

Hailey was starting to hope that a hole would open up and swallow her whole when there was a knock on the doorframe. Hailey’s head snapped towards the sound and was relieved to see a doctor entering the room, a tablet in hand.

“Detective Upton,” The man in surgical scrubs greeted her warmly. He noticed Jay and extended an arm to shake his hand before turning to address them both, “I’m Doctor Nunez.”

He looked at Jay, clearly waiting for an introduction. Hailey glanced over at him for the first time since Jeanie interrupted them.

She watched as he seemed to realize what Doctor Nunez was asking for, rubbing his hands on his jeans before answering, “My name’s Jay,” He paused, giving his head a little jerk in her direction, “I’m, uh…I’m her husband.”

Hailey blinked in shock. That was the last thing she thought he’d say.

She caught his gaze, giving him a ‘what the hell’ expression. He gave her a little shrug and looked almost as confused as she was as to why he went along with Jeanie’s assumption.

Dr. Nunez continued on, not noticing their silent exchange, “I performed your wife’s surgery, and I was hoping that we could discuss the extent of Detective Upton’s injuries with both of you and go over what I did to repair them.”

For the next half hour, Hailey and Jay listened to the doctor’s recount of removing the bullet that had lodged itself in Hailey’s side last night. The good news was that she would be discharged from the hospital in a couple of days, the bad news was that she was recommended not to fly for at least 8-10.

But for some reason, Hailey didn’t really mind the delay in getting back.

Yesterday, she was anxious and counting down the days till she could hop on a plane bound for Chicago. Today, sitting in a hospital bed, sore and tired from being shot, looking over at her partner who was hanging onto every word Dr. Nunez was saying about her recovery, she suddenly couldn’t care less about getting home.

Sure, she missed Chicago. She missed her apartment. And she missed her team, but that wasn’t what she’d been craving ever since landing in New York five weeks ago.

She’d been homesick, but not for a place because when she looked at Jay, she knew she was home even if she was still eight-hundred miles away from the only city she’d known.

Part two coming soon! Comment if you’d like a tag!

#Chicago PD #upstead #jay halstead #hailey upton #jay x hailey #hailey x jay #upstead fanfiction #upstead fic

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jgthirlwell · 4 years

Text

2019 year in review

This year I also invited some friends and colleagues to reflect on 2019

JG Thirlwell

Composer Foetus Xordox Manorexia Steroid Maximus Venture Bros Archer

www.foetus.org

30 Albums of 2019 (although not all of them came out in 2019) Damon Locks & Black Monument Ensemble Where Future Unfolds (International Anthem) Le Grand Sbam Vaisseau Monde (Dur et Doux Caravaggio Caravaggio 2 & Turn Up (La Buissonne) Swans Leaving Meaning (Young God Records) 13 Million Year Old Ghost (Chaykin) Ben Frost Dark Cycles 1 & 2 (Invada) Sote Parallel Persia / Sacred Horror In Design (Diagonal) 33EMYBW Arthropods (SVBKVLT) Anna Meredith Fibs (Moshi Moshi) Kelly Moran Ultraviolet (Warp) Thom Yorke Anima (XL) Hildur Guðnadóttir Joker Soundtrack (Water Tower Music) Lingua Ignota Caligula (Profound Lore) Igorr Savage Synusoid (Metal Blade) Oli XL Rogue intruder Soul Enhancer (Blo-onm) Red Fang Murder The Mountains (Relapse) Michael Kiwanuka Kiwanuka (Polydor) Richard Dawson 2020 (Weird World) Idiot Flesh Fancy / The Nothing Show / Tales Of Instant Knowledge and Sure Death (YouTube) Ikarus Echo / Mosaiasmic (Ronin Rhythm Records) Poil Sus / Mula Poil (Dur et Doux) Orange Goblin A Eulogy For The Damned (Candlelight) Nivhek After its own death / Walking in a spiral towards the house (Yellow Electric) Ni Pantophobie (Due et Doux) Andrew WK You’re Not Alone (Sony) Rustin Man Drift Code (Domino) Kishi Bashi Omoiyari (Joful Noise) Liturgy HAQQ (YLYLCYN) Croatian Amor Isa (Posh Isolation) Schnellertollermeier Rights / X / Zorn einen ehmer üttert stem!! (Cuneiform) Scandinavian Star Solas (Posh Isolation) Synth Sisters Euphoria (EM records) JPEGMAFIA Veteran + All My Heroes Are Cornballs (EQT)

Notable Concerts I went to dozens of concerts and events in 2019. Here are some of the most notable. All in NYC except where noted.

Jan 8 Matt Marks Tribute at Protoype Festival. Roulette Jan 19 Lemon Twigs MHOW Jan 26 Julia Wolfe / NY Philharmonic Fire In My Mouth Lincoln Center Feb 16 Lucretia Dalt Issue Project Room Feb 23 Willliam Basinski Ambient Church Mar 13 Lou Reed Drones St John The Divine Mar 18 This Heat LPR + July 31 at Elsewhere Mar 20 Oran Ambarchi Fridman Gallery Mar 28 Fire! at Zurcher April 11 Aphex Twin Avant Gardner May 4 Zombi El Cortez May 11 Lawrence English Knockdown Center May 13 The Who + Orchestra Madison Square Garedn May 15 Alva Noto Metropolitan Museum June 11 Andrew Cyrille Marathon Roulette June 13 Christeene / Nastie Band Brooklyn Bazaar June 26 Simon Hanes National Sawdust July 27 Nick Zinner 41 Strings Rockefeller Center July 30 Flaming Lips / Lennon Claypool Delirium Capitol Theater Portchester Aug 2-4 Bang On A Can LOUD Festival Mass MOCA Notth Adams Aug 27 Pharmakon St Vitus Sep 5 JD Emmanuel Issue / First Unitarian Church Sep 18 Lingua Ignota St Vitus Set 21 King Crimson Radio City Oct 10 Melvins Warsaw Oct 19 Helm Cafe Oto Nov 1 Marc Almond Brooklyn Bazaar Nov 6 JPEGMAFIA Bowery Ballroom Nov 23 Caterina Barbieri Unsound Fest, Knockdown Center Nov 30 Knower Bowery Ballroom

Film & TV These films were flawed but resonated with me.

Chernobyl Ozark Once Upon A Time In Hollywood Joker Midsommar The Irishman Uncut Gems

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Matt Johnson

The The https://www.thethe.com/

Looking back on 2019 I decided to list a handful of political / alternative news websites rather than films, albums or books. In the UK the corporate media stooped to shocking new lows during our recent General Election campaign. Such dirty tactics are to be expected of conglomerates owned by the likes of Rupert Murdoch and his fellow right wing billionaires but this time around, previously ‘liberal’ outlets such as the BBC and Guardian also fully participated in the outrageous lies, smears and character assassination against the leader of the opposition Labour Party. The British population were now being forced fed the Establishment’s propaganda du jour from every possible direction. Personally I try to gather my information from as many alternative outlets as possible to contrast with the 24 hour corporate brainwashing we’re subjected to these days. I’ve listed just five sites from the dozens I regularly visit and although I certainly don’t agree with everything expressed on these sites I do feel that it essential that in supposed free and democratic societies we are at least exposed to a variety of viewpoints and opinions - rather than being trapped inside social media echo chambers in an Internet that is increasingly controlled and censored by sophisticated algorithms and where politically correct digital lynch mobs accuse anyone with an opinion that contradicts the official narrative of being a Russian agent! Anyway, a Happy New Year to you all and here’s hoping 2020 sets the new decade off in roaring style!

https://www.medialens.org/

https://www.truthdig.com/author/chris_hedges/

https://www.corbettreport.com/

https://thesaker.is/

https://thoughtmaybe.com/about/

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Tristan Perich

Composer www.tristanperich.com

Here is a rather random selection of 10 of my favorite tracks of 2019, mostly courtesy Spotify recommendations over the year...

Full playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6OUSFLqLsAwhRQRF44yxWN?si=r33XRUuGR_iIOZHg4thuyA

Lechuga Zafiro: Para Abajo feat Matmos & Seba TC https://open.spotify.com/track/2xMnSTIBNZ8AT6w6TdZyU9

Kelpe: A Year and a Day https://open.spotify.com/track/4ANoLzEjtGOBl5qCvEiLov

Shida Shahabi: All In Circles https://open.spotify.com/track/5qMnq88JPMJQ81x5szpN3t

The Vernon Spring: Strength of a Young Man https://open.spotify.com/track/0zQUqR1UcXoPRSrTt0WuPs

Dessert: Thunderbird https://open.spotify.com/track/5rAguSvXxyo5zBq9a5RQWd

Yves V w/ Icona Pop: We Got That Cool (Robert Falcon & Jordan Jay Remix) https://open.spotify.com/track/1lEtudJvZNiibWzXc5m4mh

Selena Gomez: Look At Her Now https://open.spotify.com/track/4yI3HpbSFSgFZtJP2kDe5m

Masahiro Sugaya: Umi No Sunatsubu https://open.spotify.com/track/43egCanD1UNNvoCo2K4veC

Konradsen: Baby Hallelujah https://open.spotify.com/track/6TBnYhxTzSiiVmMBjpZ3gH

Slow Magic: Girls (DJ Clap Remix) https://open.spotify.com/track/31Sdj7aF1h4emCJtkxdy1A

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James Ilgenfritz

Composer https://infrequentseams.com/

James Ilgenfritz's favorite witnessed events, by month:

Hilma af Klint: Paintings for the Future (January, Guggenheim) Anaïs Maviel: who is this ritual for and from? (February, Roulette) Roscoe MItchell, SPACE, Wavefield Ensemble (March, Park Avenue Armory) Blank Forms: Nadah El Shazly (April, Brooklyn Music School) Barre Phillips Solo (May, Zurcher Gallery) Heiner Goebbels: Everything That Happened And Would Happen (June, Park Avenue Armory) Zodiac Saxophone Quartet: Charles Waters, Ras Moshe Burnett, Claire Daly, Lee Odom (July, Scholes St) Tie: Judith Berkson: Partial Memories & Juho Laitinen: Robert Ashley's The Wolfman (August, Ostrava Days, Czech Republic) Zeena Parkins / William Winant / Ikue Mori (September, The Stone) Vinnie Golia / Bobby Bradford Quartet (October, Edgefest in Ann Arbor) LA Philharmonic: Wubbels, Macklay, Sabat, Smith, Perich (Los Angeles, November) Art Ensemble Of Chicago (December, Washington, DC)

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Carl Michael Von Hausswolff

Artist / Composer

https://cmvonhausswolff.net/

10 special artists of 2019 in no specific order: • Hildur Guðnadóttir - her film music • sunn o))) - their Life Metal and Pyroclasts albums • Ilpo Väisänen - his concert in Stockholm • Cindy van Acker - her choreographic work • Jónsi & Alex - their old Riceboy Sleeps album and 2019 tour • Swans - their leaving meaning album • Flowers Must Die - their Där Blommor Dör album • Bigert & Bergström - their climate awareness art • Vanessa Sinclair & Carl Abrahamsson - all their work during 2019 • Hans-Joachim Roedelius and Tim Story - their Lunz 3 album

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Ryan Martin

Label Boss, Dais Records

www.daisrecords.com

Richard Youngs & Raül Refree "All Hands Around the Monument" Sarah Davachi "Pale Bloom" James Hoff "HOBO UFO (v. Chernobyl)" Wojciech Rusin ‎"The Funnel" Caterina Barbieri "Ecstatic Computation" Solange "When I Get Home" Kali Malone "The Sacrificial Code" Deathprod "Occulting Disk" Vatican Shadow "Kuwaiti Airforce" Ben Vida "Reducing The Tempo To Zero" JPEGMAFIA "All My Heroes Are Cornballs" Dean Hurley "Anthology Resource Vol. II: Philosophy of Beyond" Sean McCann "Puck" Oren Ambarchi "Simian Angel" Tyler, The Creator "IGOR" Helm "Chemical Flowers" JAB "Erg Herbe" Emptyset "Blossoms" E-Saggila "My World, My Way" Jacob Kirkegaard "Black Metal Square" Boy Harsher "Careful"

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Weasel Walter

Composer/performer / label head https://weaselwalter.bandcamp.com/

2019 was far from my favorite year. Regardless, I managed to release not one, but two new double albums by The Flying Luttenbachers (as well as two European tours with the unit) in addition to the usual slew of improvised music gigs and releases, and co-ordinating and producing an archival release of vintage NYC weirdness (Ozone). I also rocked Mexico City with Lydia Lunch Retrovirus, played a ridiculous gig with Encenathrakh, and disbanded Cellular Chaos (for now, at least).

When I become obsessed (or re-obsessed with something), it usually leads to a ton of proselytizing Facebook status posts. Combing my 2019 posts, it seems that my musical obsessions this year weren't very highbrow. Ha ha ha. Yes, I'm super into Xenakis, Cecil Taylor and whatever else, but dumber music can supply great creature comfort, and I guess I needed that in large amounts, so that's what it was. Sometimes badass modernists have to take time out to stay in bed all day and read comics because it's a hard cold world out there.

Weasel Walter top 10 musical obsessions of 2019 1. Kid Creole and the Coconuts (1980-1985 era) 2. Redd Kross 3. The Saints "I'm Stranded" 4. Jane Aire and the Belvederes 5. Miles Davis 1972-1975 6. Khanate "Things Viral 7. Mandy Zone & Ozone "Live at Max's Kansas City 1981" 8. Mayhem "Grand Declaration of War" 9. Comedy Bang Bang Episode #554 w/ Middleditch, Sanz 10. Weezer "Pinkerton"

Weasel Walter worst thing about 2019

1. Windows 10

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C.Spencer Yeh

Composer / Performer https://twitter.com/cspenceryeh?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

Ten live music highlights of 2019 - The Brandon Lopez Trio (Lopez/Steve Baczkowski/Gerald Cleaver) at Fridman Gallery, June 18 - DeForrest Brown Jr., Pennies From Heaven series at CONTROL, January 15 - Charmaine Lee, Nothing Changes at Saint Vitus, January 30 - Bloodyminded at Apartment 202, December 14 - Longmont Potion Castle live QnA, Spectacle Theater, March 23 - Joshua Abrams & Natural Information Society, Roulette, July 1 - Helm, Elsewhere, September 21 - Korn, Radiohead, Red Light District, October 26 - Mdou Moctar, Max Fish, September 1 - Mayo Thompson plays "Corky's Debt to His Father," Le Poisson Rouge, December 8

Speed round – five various still on the mind at the end of 2019 - Charlotte Moorman / Nam June Paik long sleeve t-shirt, Boot Boyz - Acacia leaf omelet and shrimp in sour curry, Jitlada, Los Angeles - Lynnée Denise, presentation for Omniaudience (Side Two) presented by Triple Canopy/Nikita Gale/Hammer Museum at Coaxial Arts, May 4 - PARASITE (2019) - ANIARA (2018)

Also, Spectacle Theater turns ten in 2020 and you should really come visit us.

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DJ Food

Artist / composer / DJ / curator

www.djfood.org

Music / podcasts: Pye Corner Audio - Hollow Earth LP (Ghost Box) Various - Corroded Circuits EP 12" (Downfall Recordings) Chris Moss Acid - Heavy Machine 12" (Balkan Vinyl) King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Fishing For Fishes LP (Flightless) Pictogram - Trace Elements cassette (Miracle Pond) Vanishing Twin - The Age of Immunology LP (Fire Records) Big Mouth podcast (various) (Acast) Beans - Triptych LP (Gamma Proforma) Roisin Murphy - Incapable single (Skint) Ebony Steel Band - Pan Machine LP (Om Swagger) People Like Us - The Mirror LP (Discrepant) Coastal County - Coastal County LP (Lomas) Adam Buxton podcast (various) (Acast) Ghost Funk Orchestra - A Song For Paul LP (Karma Chief) Jon Brooks - Emotional Freedom Techniques LP (Cafe Kaput) King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - Organ Farmer (from Infest the Rat's Nest LP) (Flightless) Jane Weaver - Fenella LP (Fire Records) Polypores - Brainflowers cassette (Miracle Pond)

Design / packaging: Pepe Deluxé - The Surrealist Woman lathe cut 7" (Catskills) Various - Science & Technology ERR Rec Library Vol.2 (ERR Records) DJ Pierre presents ACID 88 vol. III LP (Afro Acid) Mark Ayres plays Wendy Carlos - Kubrick 7" (Silva Screen) Tomorrow Syndicate - Citizen Input 10" (Polytechnic Youth) The Utopia Strong - S/T LP (Rocket Recordings) Jarvis - Sunday Service LP (ACE records) Andy Votel - Histoire D'Horreur cassette (Hypocrite?) Sculpture - Projected Music 5" zoetrope picture disc (Psyché Tropes) Lapalux - Amnioverse LP (Brainfeeder) Hieroglyphic Being - Synth Expressionism / Rhythmic Cubism LP (On The Corner Records)

Film / TV: Sculpture - Meeting Our Associates (Plastic Infinite) This Time with Alan Partridge (BBC) Avengers: Endgame (Disney/Marvel) Imaginary Landscapes - Sam Campbell (Vinyl Factory) What We Do In The Shadows (BBC2) The Mandalorian (Disney+)

Books / Comics / Magazines: Beastie Boys Book - Mike Diamond & Adam Horowitz (Spiegel & Grau) Cosmic Comics - A Kevin O'Neill Miscellany (Hibernia Books) Electronic Sound magazine (Pam Com. Ltd) Moebius - 40 Days In The Desert (expanded edition) (Moebius Productions) Rock Graphic Originals - Peter Golding w. Barry Miles (Thames & Hudson) 2000AD / Judge Dredd Megazine (Rebellion) Silver Surfer Black - Donny Cates/Tradd Moore (Marvel) Help - Simon Amstell (Square Peg) The Scarfolk Annual - Richard Littler (William Collins) Wrappers Delight - Jonny Trunk (Fuel)

Gigs / Events: Vanishing Twin @ Prince of Wales Pub, Brighton Stereolab @ Concorde 2, Brighton People's Vote March 23rd March, London Wobbly Sounds book launch @ Spiritland, London Confidence Man @ The Electric, Brixton, London Mostly Jazz Funk & Soul Festival, Moseley, Birmingham Bluedot Festival, Jodrell Bank, Manchester HaHa Sounds Collective play David Axelrod's Earth Rot @ Tate Exchange, London School of Hypnosis play In C @ Cafe Oto, London Palace Electrics, Antenna Studios, London The Delaware Road, New Zealand Farm, Salisbury Breaking Convention closing party, Greenwich, London Jonny Trunk & Martin Green's Hidden Library @ Spiritland, Southbank, London Negativland / People Like Us @ Cafe Oto, London HaHa Sound Collective plays the David Axelrod songbook @ The Church of Sound, London, Sculpture, Janek Schaefer, Mariam Rezaei + the 26 turntable ensemble @ The Old Baths, Hackney, London Vanishing Twin & Jane Weaver's Fenella @ Studio 9294, Hackney Wick, London

Exhibitions: Sister Corita Kent @ House of Illustration, London, Augustinbe Kofie @ Stolen Space, London, Victor Vasarely @ Pompidou Centre, Paris, Mary Quant @ V&A Museum, London, Stanley Kubrick @ The Design Museum, London, Tim Hunkin's Novelty Automation Museum, London, Keith Haring retrospective @Tate, Liverpool, Nam June Paik, Tate Modern, London, Takis @ Tate Modern, London, Shepard Fairy @ Stolen Space, London, Damien Hirst 'Mandalas' at the White Cube, London, Bridget Riley @ The Hayward, London, Museum of Neo-liberalism, Lewisham, London.

#playlist #DJ Food #JG Thirlwell #C.Spencer Yeh #Weasel Walter #Ryan Martin #dais records #Carl Michael Von Hausswolff #James Ilgenfritz #Matt Johnson #The THe #Tristan Perich #2019 year in review

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doomonfilm · 4 years

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Review : Bombshell (2019)

During college, I studied Radio and TV news, and if there was one thing I learned, it was that nothing gets in front of the bottom line... ethics, morals and good judgement somehow seem to vanish in the realm of the newsroom. This is why it did not surprise me when, in the world of the 24 hour news cycle, the news became the news when Fox CEO Roger Ailes found himself accused of several instances of sexual harassment. Jay Roach and company decided that this topic was not only timely, but ripe for dark humor, hence the production and release of Bombshell.

In the run-up to the Donald Trump presidency, three women working for Fox News find themselves in three very different positions in their career. Megyn Kelly is an anchorwoman covering hard news while trying to avoid becoming the news after her hard line of questioning to Trump during the Presidential debate landed her in his Twitter crosshairs. Gretchen Carlson (Nicole Kidman) is a former anchorwoman rapidly falling down the ladder, finding herself transitioned to an afternoon opinion show before being unceremoniously fired. Kayla Pospisil (Margot Robbie) is a former intern for Carlson looking for an opportunity to become an anchorwoman, and making the moves towards her goal after transitioning to a job on the O’Reilly Factor. All three women, however, share a common trait : their victim status via sexual objectification, coercion and blackmail from Fox News founder Roger Ailes (John Lithgow). Carlson, who already had plans to sue Ailes directly rather than Fox News in regards to her assault, moves forward with her lawsuit after her firing, and the wheels begin to turn as the search for victims willing to speak out against Ailes gains traction.

For a film covering the self-identified bastion of ‘fair and balanced’ news that is Fox, the film itself is unfortunately fairly unbalanced. It is entertaining, which is a plus, but the lofty and heavy topic is slightly undercut by the comedic approach that director Jay Roach has made his trademark. Heavy accusations and salacious behavior are propped up beside fourth wall breaks, shakeycam cinematography and visual parlour tricks. The schizophrenic tone of the film is further bolstered by a list of identifications for real world titans of the news industry, giving the film a slightly mockumentary, heavily expose’ feel. Even the disclaimer at the beginning of the film sets a serious tone, which is directly followed by a sitcom-esque expositional introduction by Charlize Theron’s Megyn Kelly portrayal, using the aforementioned fourth wall approach no less.

That being said, the style points taken away from the film have a minor effect on the tension caused by the topics at hand. Ailes is not only positioned as an opportunistic man that objectified large numbers of women in the name of the ‘visual medium’, but also as a paranoia-fueled power monger quick to flex said power to show everyone who’s boss, even if the Murdoch family that resides higher than him in the hierarchy does not support him or his power-hungry actions. His hopes of influencing the masses rather than informing them are also brought to light, with his history of placing Presidents in the White House prior to founding Fox News becoming an ironic parallel to his forcing out of the corporation due to his immoral actions while Trump and his immoral actions ascend to the White House. The old school way of fighting litigations and accusations with spin and intimidation is used to fuel the narrative, adding to the present tension and propelling the story forward as accuser after accuser straddles the line of coming forward and damaging their lives and careers, or remaining silent, which gives the audience insight on the human cost of Ailes’s actions.

As mentioned before, the cinematography can be a bit distracting at times, with the camera constantly zooming in and out, light uses of soft rack focus, and visual tricks like fourth wall breaks and kyrons used for humor. Roach does manage to keep the numerous storylines balanced and coherent, helping the viewer navigate the numerous characters and points of view presented. The makeup and hairstyling of Charlize Theron and the weight gain of John Lithgow make both of them nearly unrecognizable, and nearly every actor and actress in the film looks so much like their real life counterparts that they are easily identifiable prior to being given naming subtitles. The casting agent on this film deserves at least a bonus, if not an award, because this film contains one of the most stacked casts I’ve ever seen.

Fans of ensemble casts are in for a treat, as Theron, Kidman and Robbie all step confidently into their starring roles, more than succeeding in their portrayals of their famous counterparts. Lithgow locks into his calm and calculated manner, while simultaneously giving his creepy undertones occasional moments in the spotlight, much to the chagrin of his victims. Mark Duplass stands out in one of the few non-news based roles, bringing equal parts charm and hard truth to the table. Kate McKinnon turns in a strong dramatic performance while still managing to let her trademark natural humor shine. Allison Janney brings a hard nosed edge to bounce against Lithgow, making her quite believable as a no-nonsense lawyer with absolutely no levels of intimidation found in her dealings with the Ailes character. Performances by Connie Britton, Rob Delany, Liv Hewson, Bridgette Lundy-Paine and a handful more help drive the narrative forward, while appearances by Malcom McDowell, Nazanin Boniadi, P.J. Byrne, Kevin Dorff, Alice Eve, Spencer Garrett, Ashley Greene, Marc Evan Jackson, Brian d’Arcy James, Richard Kind, Tony Plana, Stephen Root and many more as newspeople, lawyers and politicians keep things exciting for the viewer.

Possibly due to my own expectations combined with my former experience in the world of news, I think I was imagining something different than what I was presented. While not necessarily a bad film, it does (in my opinion) fall short of what it really and truly could have been : a proper reflection on some of the successes that occurred during the uplifting-turned-controversial Me Too movement. Ultimately, I recommend going to see the film and making up your own mind, but as the fourth film I’ve seen in a little over a week, it does fall short in comparison to it’s recently released peers.

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mischiefandspirits · 4 years

Text

Iron Legion (13/?)

Never let it be said that Tony Stark ever does things by half. He might have grown up with little family, but he wasn’t about to keep it that way.

Tony Stark was seventeen when his first child was born, and that was just the beginning.

For Masterpost, AO3, and Fanfiction

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cerberus, Part 1

Tony Stark was thirty-eight when his eighth, ninth, and tenth children were born.

“What about making it so it could set itself on fire?”

Bruce frowned and looked over at Peter. “Why would we want Ultron to set itself on fire?”

“I think that one was for me,” Tony chuckled over the phone.

“Yessir, Mr. Stark,” Peter agreed, looking up from his homework. “Although Ultron being able to set itself on fire would be cool too.”

“I don’t know if Pepsi would like a suit that sets itself on fire. I’ll think about it, though. Now Ultron on the other hand -”

“How about we figure out how to make it work before giving it pyromaniac tendencies,” Bruce interjected.

“Jolly Green, the kid ruins you. You never let me have fun when he’s there. I just wanna blow things up with you!” Tony pouted.

Bruce couldn’t see him -- he’d turned down the phone Tony had offered him -- but he knew the billionaire was pouting.

“I wanna blow things up too,” Peter said, looking excited.

“No, to both of you. Tony, he’s barely twelve.”

“Exactly! He’s right at that age when kids love blowing things up!”

“We need to be good examples or Jen’s word won’t be enough for his parents to let him keep coming.”

“Dad likes you. He won’t make me stop coming,” Peter disagreed. “And Mom trusts Jen’s judgment.”

“See, we’re good.”

“I’d rather hear that from his parents firsthand,” Bruce snorted.

“We need to make up permission slips. Fri, make Peter a slip so Bruce will stop being a wet blanket.”

“On it, Boss.”

“Tony,” Bruce sighed. He’d have to explain to Jen. Hopefully, Peter’s parents could take a joke.

“So, have you heard from the others?” he asked, deciding it was probably best to get the billionaire’s mind on something else.

“Nothing from Arendelle, but I checked in on Capsicle and Fury’s kids. Bird-boy’s off the grid, taking some time to himself. After what happened, I can’t blame him. Cap and Romanoff have been running missions for S.H.I.E.L.D. Last I heard, they were in Rome to -”

“Pretty sure we shouldn’t be talking about S.H.I.E.L.D. around the kid,” Bruce pointed out.

“They’re jerks,” Peter said, turning back to his tablet. “They bug Dad a lot.”

Bruce frowned. “Peter, what does your dad do?”

He shrugged. “Mechanic.”

“Ominous,” Tony hummed. “I agree, though. S.H.I.E.L.D. are jerks.”

“Still not giving Fury that assist he asked for?” Bruce asked. He supposed the kid heard plenty of other classified information in the lab, what was a little more?

“Make one joke about how my repulsor tech could prevent further engine issues and suddenly I’m on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s payroll? Yeah, no. I finally got him to back off two months ago, and that was only because Fri went and transferred him to legal. They explained to him that the company would sue him if he kept it up. The tech patents are company property after all. If S.H.I.E.L.D. wants the tech, they’ll have to buy it and have us install the engines as is company policy.”

“I bet Fury didn’t take that well.”

“Wouldn’t know, but someone did try hacking in. Can’t prove it was them, but it’s quite a coincidence if it wasn’t.”

“They get anything?”

“Nope,” Tony said, popping the p. “Jay detected them immediately and they cut their losses when he started to return the favor.”

“Jerks,” Peter muttered.

“Yup. Legal slapped a ban on them when they heard. They’re still angry with Romanoff so they don’t care what we can or can’t prove. One of the girls told Fury that if it wasn’t them, then he should put his spies to use and figure out who it actually was. Only then will they lift the ban. Until then he could, in her words, take a flying leap into a spiked pit. I tried to talk Pepper into giving her a raise, but she said it gave the wrong impression.”

Bruce shook his head while Peter snickered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Jay, how’re the kids doing?” Tony asked, collapsing onto the couch. God, it was good to be home. Maybe he’d go down and visit Bruce later. They hadn’t hung out much since setting Ultron aside.

“Miss Nebula is busy with work. Dum-E, U, and Master Peter are playing with Peter’s LEGOs in his room. F.R.I.D.A.Y. is going through your emails. J.O.C.A.S.T.A., P.L.A.T.O., and H.O.M.E.R. started bickering again and as such have thirteen minutes remaining in time out. Would you like me to check in on Master Harley as well?”

“I’ll call him later. Remind Peter and the twins that those two need to be back in the lab before bed. No sleepovers.

“Of course, Sir.”

“Boss, I’ve got something you might want to see.”

“What is it?” he asked and an email appeared on the TV screen.

“I’m not sure.”

All that was in the email was an IP address and one word: Hill.

“Jay, trace the email. Fri, check the IP,” Tony said, getting to his feet.

Both agreed as Tony walked over to the bar, pulling out his phone.

“Stark, how did you get this number?” Agent Hill asked as soon as she picked up.

“I could ask you how you knew it was me, but those are both stupid questions.” Tony grabbed a bottle of whiskey and poured out a measure. “What’s up with the IP?”

“I -”

“Hill?”

Tony’s eyebrows rose in curiosity at the Captain’s call and he took a sip.

“I have to go. Just keep an eye on the IP. You’ll understand soon enough.”

Tony frowned when she hung up on him. “Did you guys get anything?”

“The email was sent from a coffee shop in Washington, D.C.,” J.A.R.V.I.S. said. “I didn’t have time to trace the call completely, but it came from the same general area.”

“I didn’t get anything from the IP either. It’s completely inactive,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. added.

“Keep watching it, just in case. I don’t know what’s going on with Hill, but I don’t want to be caught off guard. Jay, keep an eye on our firewalls to make sure S.H.I.E.L.D.’s not trying to sneak in again.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“BOSS!” F.R.I.D.A.Y. shouted and Tony jerked into a sitting position, his phone falling to the ground.

“Sweetie, Dad’s got a heart condition remember?” Tony breathed, grabbing his chest dramatically.

“Sorry, but the IP has suddenly gone active and… Boss, all of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s files have been posted online.”

Tony froze. “By all, please tell me you don’t mean -”

“All of them. Every single one.”

“Jay, Fri, grab them all. Scoop them up and encrypt everything!”

“I don’t think even the two of us could take all of it on, Sir.”

“Do what you can. The triplets aren’t ready for this kind of stuff yet. I’ll help as soon as I can get to the lab,” he said, snatching up his phone and running to the elevator. As he stepped inside, he unlocked his phone and paused when he saw the excessive amount of texts Bruce had sent him during the short time the phone had been on the ground. He hit the call button. “Bruce -”

“Have you seen the news?”

“News?”

“The S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters in D.C. just blew up. They’re not calling it that, obviously, but I recognize the building.”

“I guess that explains why all their files are suddenly on the net,” Tony said, slipping through the elevator doors before they were fully open and rushing to his desk.

“WHAT!?”

“Yeah, so I’ve got a lot to do. Jay and Fri can only do so much on their own.” He scowled as he brought up the file dump, seeing some copies already being made. “Do me a favor and call Pepper,” he said, getting to work. “Have her send a group from the Stark Relief Foundation to help out in D.C. and get her to tell Nebula and Happy what’s up. I’m sending them a link to the files. He and Rhodey need to set up some teams with a few friends I’ve got in the CIA and FBI and Nebula can set up some of the cybersecurity team on sorting through the files. There is going to be a lot of spies in need of immediate exfils.”

“On it,” Bruce said. “I’ll also tell Jen in case she can help. I’d offer to come, but think I’m probably better off where I am.”

“Yeah, until we figure out what’s going on here, stick to Cali. Rhodey or Haps will give you a call if they think they need the big guy,” Tony said distractedly.

“I’ll leave you to it, then.”

Tony ended the call, not looking away from the screen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re getting a call,” Peter said, rolling up to Tony atop U.

“Who is it? And get off your sibling. They’re not built to hold you like that,” Tony said, barely taking his focus off the screen.

He, J.A.R.V.I.S., and F.R.I.D.A.Y. had grabbed everything they could after hours of work, but he knew a lot of files had been copied before they could finish. Now they were helping Nebula’s team sort through the files. There were operatives that needed to be rescued before their covers were blown, S.H.I.E.L.D. facilities that needed to be cleared out before they could be ransacked, HYDRA operations that needed to be brought down before they could go to ground (because HYDRA had infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D., thanks for the update, Cap), and so much more. With all of that excluding any files that could have been destroyed before they could get to them.

“It’s legal.”

Tony sighed and took the phone. He put a finger to his lips to remind his kids to keep quiet then answered the phone on speaker. “If this doesn’t concern the HYDRA/S.H.I.E.L.D. lovechild, then I’m hanging up.”

“It does, in a sense. We just got a flag from Human Resources. Someone with S.H.I.E.L.D. on both their resume and background check just sat down for an interview.”

“Didn’t think we were watching HR,” Tony muttered, sending a file to Rhodey’s team.

“It had been set up before, when we thought they were hacking us.”

“Was probably HYDRA,” Tony noted.

“Same thing,” the unnamed legal person growled and Tony snorted. “We were going to inform HR to toss the resume, but Walters said she recognized the name so we figured it was best to check in first. HR’s pretty excited about her.”

“Name?”

“Maria Hill.”

Tony rolled his eyes. Did she think he’d take pity on her since she’d given him that joke of a heads up? “Toss it.”

“You got it, Boss.”

“Pepper’s the boss; I’m just the idea machine. You guys keep up the good work, tell Jen thanks for the help again, and remind the others they’re doing great. Now if you don’t mind, I’m trying to keep the world from blowing up.”

“Of course, Sir. Sorry,” legal said breathlessly and Tony assumed he was trying not to laugh, judging by Peter’s muffled snickers.

Tony hung up and gave Peter a gentle shove. “Didn’t I tell you to get off them?”

“U can carry five times my weight!”

“Get out of here, you monkey.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“They showed up here?” Rhodey asked.

“Had Birdbrain with them, too.” Tony opened his eyes to see his friend’s surprised face.

“They wanted a place to stay for a bit,” Pepper tisked, voice cold as she ran her fingers through Tony’s hair. They were curled up on the couch with his head in her lap while Rhodey sat in an armchair next to them.

“After that mess they dropped in your lap a couple months ago?” Rhodey huffed. “Please tell me you kicked them right back out the door.”

“I did.”

“Only because they’d find out about Peter,” Pepper pointed out with a glare.

“They wanted to stay in the Penthouse?”

“There’s nowhere else for them to stay,” Tony said, waving it off. “I’m not shoving them in a staff apartment and Bruce only has one guest room on his floor. Even if he agreed to share, there’s no way those three would bunk together in a single room.”

Rhodey chuckled at the idea. “Where’d they go then?”

“I took pity on them and booked them a suite at a nearby hotel that’s good for keeping quiet about their clientele. They really just needed a place to crash for a bit. Romanoff and Barton have decided to join Cap on his hunt for his old war buddy so they’re just tracking down a new lead.”

“There wasn’t anything in the data dump about the Winter Soldier, we checked,” Nebula said and the three turned to see her sitting at the bar, working on a tablet.

“When did you get here?” Pepper asked, looking around to be sure no one else had snuck up on them.

“Just now,” Nebula said. “I heard about those three showing up, but more importantly, so did legal. I figured I should warn you that they’re moving to bar all three of them from the premises. There’s still some debate on Roger’s behalf, but most of them have lumped him in with S.H.I.E.L.D. since he’s worked solely with them since his return.”

“I’ll talk to them,” Pepper said.

“Do you have to?” Rhodey hummed.

Pepper blinked, thinking. “They shouldn’t be banned, but having security keep eyes on them whenever they’re here couldn’t hurt,” she allowed. “They haven’t exactly proven themselves to be trustworthy.”

“They’re not that bad,” Tony muttered and Pepper patted his head condescendingly.

“Is that why we’re not putting them to use?” Nebula asked, ignoring his comment and gesturing to her tablet. “If they’ve hit a roadblock then they should help clean up their mess.”

“I considered that, and Ross agreed, but his Europol buddy we’re working with shares legal’s distrust. Apparently, she had a bit of a grudge against S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA even before the reveal. She doesn’t want them brought in without someone there to make sure they don’t pull a D.C. again,” Tony explained.

“I could manage them,” Rhodey offered.

“We need you on the airforce team,” Nebula argued. “You’re our only military contact.”

“Actually, I’ve been thinking about taking them out to a couple of the more dangerous bunkers now that we’ve got the files reasonably managed,” Tony said. “I called Foster and Thor agreed to help out. They haven’t had any better luck tracking down the glow stick then we have.”

“That will make Ellis happy. His people keep asking when the Avengers are going to get involved with taking down HYDRA,” Pepper said with an eye-roll. “As if you, Thor, and Bruce haven’t been doing everything you can.”

“Is Bruce going to join in?” Rhodey asked.

“I haven’t asked, but if he does, he’ll only get involved on an as-needed basis. He’s been getting better thanks to Jen and the Breakroom, but he’s still nervous about Hulking out around others,” Tony said.

“You think Agents Ross and Drew will be okay with him in the field?” Rhodey asked.

“Veronica’s been well tested by both Hulk and She-Hulk and he’s on backup duty, so hopefully. Hulk proved himself against the Chitauri. If Bruce wants to help, he should be allowed.”

“Is Mom going to help too?” Peter asked, popping up from behind the couch.

All four adults jumped in surprise.

“You little sneak, get out of here!” Nebula hissed.

“No eavesdropping,” Tony said, sitting up. “What are you even doing up? Jay, why didn’t you tell me Peter got up?”

“He was thirsty. As he was heading right to you, I didn’t feel the need.”

“Next time one of the kids are eavesdropping, tell me,” he huffed then pointed towards the kitchen. “Drink then straight back to bed, Monkey.”

“Should I tell you that F.R.I.D.A.Y., J.O.C.A.S.T.A., P.L.A.T.O., and H.O.M.E.R. are all eavesdropping?” J.A.R.V.I.S. asked as Peter left.

“Fri is always eavesdropping. Have the babies finished their homework?”

“P.L.A.T.O. and H.O.M.E.R. have.”

“Joe, get back to work. P, Mer, good job, but don’t spy on Dad.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know what I realized? I don't think anyone's coined onto the theming behind the names for Harley's sector of the family. I've had comments about Teresa being Peter's sister in the comics, but nothing on where I got the names for Harley, Tori, Valeria, or Frank. Aside from the obvious Harley and Keener, the rest of there names are all references, and even a bit of a hint in Harley's case.

If anyone's curious, here's the timeline I'm working with for this story (only including what's been posted. No spoilers)

#tony stark #bruce banner #ca:ws #iron family #peter parker

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popentertainment-moviereviews · 5 years

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THE DAY SHALL COME (2019)

Starring Marchánt Davis, Anna Kendrick, Danielle Brooks, Kayvan Novak, Denis O'Hare, Jim Gaffigan, Miles Robbins, Pej Vahdat, Adam David Thompson, Mousa Kraish, James Adomian, Malcolm Mays, Andrel McPherson, Curtiss Cook Jr., Drew Gehling, Andrew James Bleidner, Stephany Liriano, Michael Braun, Rodney Richardson and Calah Lane.

Screenplay by Chris Morris and Jesse Armstrong.

Directed by Chris Morris.

Distributed by IFC Films. 88 minutes. Rated R.

It’s not often when you find a comedy which touches on such hot-button topics as ISIS, the illegal arms trade, neo-Nazis, government incompetence, social media jihads, nuclear weapons, construction equipment accidents and magic horses.

So, The Day Shall Come is a quirky, edgy, black comedy.

However, is it a funny comedy? I’m not sure I can say yes to that. There are some very funny moments here. Still, during most of the film the audience will be debating whether The Day Shall Come is funny ha-ha or funny strange. Honestly, it’s a bit of both, but I think more people will come down on the second side. I must give filmmaker Chris Morris some credit though, he was willing to take some real chances here.

I just wish I liked the movie more than I did. Particularly since co-writer director Chris Morris has shown himself to be a very sharp political satirist working on the fantastic TV series Veep. Sadly, The Day Shall Come lacks the bite – both comic and dramatic – of that superior show.

The poster for the film shows the filmmakers’ offbeat point of view, claiming that the film is “A comedy based on hundreds of true stories.”

I’m not sure which of those hundreds of stories led us to this story, based in the lesser neighborhoods of Miami (only a couple of times do you get to see brief shots of the wildlife of Miami’s beach and party districts).

The main character here – or as close to a main character as the film has – is Moses Al Shabaz (Marchánt Davis). Moses is a nearly broke Muslim preacher who is struggling to keep his family and his (very small) flock from being thrown out of their home. He’s also rather delusional, perhaps even a bit insane. He makes a series of Facebook videos predicting the next Jihad – though he doesn’t mention he is anti-violence and guns, and the fact that his “army” is made up of four people – five if you count his eight-year-old daughter.

However, somehow the videos catch the attention of the local office of the FBI, which think they have found a new terror cell and decide to set up a sting against Moses and his flock. The problem is, despite his rhetoric, Moses is mostly an upstanding law-abiding sort. Still, with his church and home just being foreclosed on, he is desperate for money. Therefore, he plays along with the undercover agents, and then tries to turn them in to the FBI himself.

Another problem is the fact that all of the FBI agents in this office are loose cannons; inept, borderline corrupt, and deadly afraid of confessing their mistakes.

So, yeah, basically it is a movie about people pretending to commit crimes in concert with other people who are also pretending to commit crimes. Therefore, a lot of nothing happening leads to a comedy of errors which keeps escalating.

Morris is trying to make a wild political satire, like Dr. Strangelove, The Mouse that Roared, Wag the Dog, or In the Loop (a spectacular but mostly forgotten film by his former Veep boss Armando Iannucci). Sadly, The Day Shall Come does not quite have the insight, the savagery or the comic chops of those films.

Jay S. Jacobs

#The Day Shall Come #2019 #Movie Review #Anna Kendrick #Jay S. Jacobs #Marchánt Davis

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gotsevenheaven-blog · 7 years

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Best Tv Shows Ever

'Lost' 2004-10

A cosmic mystery trip so complex nobody has ever really figured it all out – a band of castaways trapped on an island following the crash of Oceanic Flight 815, having a smoke monster and also the enigmatic group called the Others, several time lines, the Seventies back-story of the Dharma Initiative, each episode filled with clues to be argued over for years to come. Lost proved there was a broad audience around who needed their Television to be more unpredictable and difficult, not less – and Television would never be the same.

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'Star Trek' 196669

The Star-Ship Business took off having a five-year mission: "To discover odd new worlds, to to locate new life and new civilizations," and it succeeded in making the most beloved of sci fi franchises, not just inspiring many spin offs but also codifying fanfiction as an art form. Gene Roddenberry's original sequence stays the basis, with William Shatner's awesomely pulpy Capt. Kirk, Leonard Nimoy's logical Mr. Spock, Bones, Sulu, Uhura and Scotty. They speak to strange and inexplicable lifeforms – Romulans, Gorns, Joan Collins. During its three years, Startrek suffered from low ratings until NBC pulled the plug, but thanks to the most doggedly loyal of TV cults (remember when "Trekkie" was an insult?), Roddenberry's vision lives long and prospers for this day.

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'The Daily Show' 1996-Present

The fa-Ke news show that became mo Re credible as opposed to news that is real. Comedy Central started The Daily Present when Jon Stewart took over in 1999, but it hit its stride. The Daily Present got more politically abrasive as the news got progressively worse. Stewart had the rage of a man who had signed on at the finish of the Bill Clinton years, only to finish up with an America significantly more scary and more ugly for, as well as the anger showed. "It is a comic box lined with unhappiness," he informed Rolling Stone in 2006. While the franchise struggles on without him, Everyday alumni John Oliver and Samantha Bee keep that hard-hitting spirit on their own displays.

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'Friends' 1994 2004

A team of twenty somethings in New York sit around complaining about their day jobs, their sex lives, their screwed -up households. It's a formula countless sitcoms tried to get right on the years (great try, Herman's Head), but it took the Central Perk crew to get the best mix of personalities, from Lisa Kudrow's flaky folksinger to the schlub-fox romance of David Schwimmer's Ross and Jennifer Aniston's Rachel. Even at the time, it was absurd how luxurious Monica's West Village apartment and large was, and also the storyline where she's banging Tom Selleck just gets more abdomen-turning the Blue Bloods stays that are lengthier on-the-air.

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'South Park' 1997-Present

Trey Parker and Matt Stone touched America someplace special and deep, and also you got to respect their authori-teh. Year after year, this cartoon began, Matt Stone informed Rolling Stone, "we'd view success as finally acquiring to the point where we get canceled because no one gets it." So here's to not exactly twenty years of failure – and hopefully 2 more.

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'The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson' 196292

Heeeeeeere's Johnny! There's a cause Carson stays the template for each and every late-night host, after ruling The To Night Show for three decades. Like a TV answer to Frank Sinatra, he epitomized Rat Pack cool, and his monologues were a sound track to generations of Americans boozing every night themselves to slumber. Nearly 2-5 years after he signed-off (and more than 10 years after he died), Carson's the ghost king who nevertheless haunts evening. When he abdicated in 1992, Letterman and Jay Leno started battling for his throne and never quit. (In his last display, Letterman cracked, "It looks like I am not planning to get The Tonight Show.")

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TV Series Third Watch

'The Sopranos' 1999-2007

The crime saga that slice the the history of Television kicking off a golden age when abruptly something seemed possible. About how much you could get away with on the little screen together with The Sopranos, David Chase smashed all of the rules. And he developed an American antihero in James Gandolfini's New Jersey Mob boss, Tony Soprano, presiding over a crew of gangsters who also double as dads and broken husbands, guys seeking to stay using their murderous strategies and dark recollections. As the late, great Gandolfini told Rolling Stone in 2001, "I noticed David Chase say one time that it's about people who lie to themselves, as we all do. Lying to ourselves on a daily basis and the mess it creates." What an inspiring mess it is. Since it transformed the world, this specific poll was run away with by the Sopranos. Chase confirmed just how story-telling ambition that was much tv could be brought to by you, and it didn't take long for everybody else to rise to his challenge. The breakthroughs of the next few years – The Wire, Mad Guys, Breaking Poor – could not have occurred without The Sopranos kicking the door down. But Chase had a difficult time convincing any network to battle a story of a guilt- gangster who goes to treatment, while his mother plots to kill him. "We'd no idea this show would appeal to folks," he told Rolling Stone. "The display really unexpectedly made this kind of splash that it screwed all of US up." The Sopranos kept heading for the long bomb over six masterful seasons on HBO having a wild mix of blood shed and humor. When FBI agents tell Uncle Junior which mobsters they want him to finger, he says using a shrug, "I want to fuck Angie Dickinson – let's see who gets lucky first." The Sopranos is full of damaged figures who linger on in the long term parking of our national imagination – Edie Falco's Carmela, Dominic Chianese's Junior, Michael Imperioli's Christopher, Tony Sirico's Paulie Walnuts. E Street Band guitarist Steve Van Zandt became Tony's lieutenant Silvio – Chase spotted him on early Bruce Springsteen album addresses. (As Chase told Rolling Stone, "There was something about the E Street Band that looked like a crew.") It might not have been possible without Gandolfini's slow-burning intensity – he was the only actor who could deliver Tony's angst to life. But the writing, directing and acting went locations Television had never reached before. Where Christopher and Paulie Walnuts get lost in the woods, realizing the Russian gangster they tried to whack is nevertheless out there-in the darkness, the Sopranos arguably hit its innovative peak with all the well-known Pine Barrens episode. They shiver in the cold. ("It is the the fuckin' Yukon out there!") They wait. And worry. The Sopranos never solved this mystery – for all we know, the Russian is still atlarge, yet another key these guys can not shake off. On The Sopranos, family loyalties flip, both in the streets and a T home. Beloved characters can get whacked a T any moment. It kept that perception of danger alive proper up to the final seconds. And not quite a decade after it faded to black in a Jersey diner together with the juke-box enjoying "Do Not Stop Believin'," The Sopranos stays the standard all ambitious TV aspires to fulfill.

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'30 Rock' 200613

Alec Baldwin said it best: "You are truly the Picasso of loneliness." He's a point. The Liz Lemon of Tina Fey is one gal who spends her evenings working on on her behalf evening cheese playing Monopoly alone or viewing the Life Time movie My Stepson Is My Cyber-Husband. But Fey created her a timeless heroine -space experience at The Girlie Show to the backstage antics, having a crazy- deep bench that included Jack McBrayer, Jane Krakowski and Tracy Morgan. And Baldwin chewed up the role of his life, turning what might have been a generic sitcom boss into the only guy worthy to stand-by Lemon.

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'The Office (U.K.)' 2001 03

Ricky Gervais created one of TV's most agonizing comic tyrants in David Brent – a bitter, awkward, pompous ball of vanities terrorizing his workers at a London paper organization. He fidgets, fondles his tie, cracks dreadful jokes, plays guitar ("Free Love Free Way"!), invisible to anyone except the longsuffering office drones who have to put up with him. This mockumentary raised the cringe level of sitcoms every where, spawning the remarkably great U.S. version (also on this checklist) while paving the way for the glories of Parks & Re Creation and Peep-Show.

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papermoonloveslucy · 4 years

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TOO MANY TELEVISION SETS

October 14, 1949

"Too Many Television Sets” (aka “Liz and George Order a Television Set” aka “Television”) is episode #58 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on October 14, 1949.

This was the sixth episode of the second season of MY FAVORITE HUSBAND. There were 43 new episodes, with the season ending on June 25, 1950.

Synopsis ~ Liz can't get George interested in buying a television set, until they spend an evening at the Atterburys, who have one. With his interest piqued, George arranges one be sent over on trial. Little does he know Liz has done the same thing - as have the Atterbury’s!

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George's boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benaderet was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father's garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury) had worked with Lucille Ball on “The Wonder Show” on radio in 1938. One of the front-runners to play Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy,” he eventually played Alvin Littlefield, owner of the Tropicana, during two episodes in 1952. After playing a Judge in an episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in 1958, he would re-team with Lucy for all of her subsequent series’: as Theodore J. Mooney in ”The Lucy Show”; as Harrison Otis Carter in “Here’s Lucy”; and as Curtis McGibbon on "Life with Lucy.” Gordon died in 1995 at the age of 89.

Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) was considered the front-runner to be cast as Ethel Mertz but when “I Love Lucy” was ready to start production she was already playing a similar role on TV’s “The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show” so Vivian Vance was cast instead. On “I Love Lucy” she was cast as Lucy Ricarodo’s spinster neighbor, Miss Lewis, in “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15) in early 1952. Later, she was a success in her own show, “Petticoat Junction” as Shady Rest Hotel proprietress Kate Bradley. She starred in the series until her death in 1968.

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz, a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

GUEST CAST

Jay Novello (Joe Beckett, the Atterbury’s Neighbor) would appear on “I Love Lucy” as superstitious Mr. Merriweather in “The Seance" (ILL S1;E7), nervous Mr. Beecher in “The Sublease” (ILL S3;E31), and Mario the gondolier in “The Visitor from Italy” (ILL S6;E5). He also appeared on two episodes of “The Lucy Show,” but dapper Novello is probably best remembered for playing Mayor Lugatto on “McHale’s Navy” in 1965.

Wally Maher (Mr. Trimble) appeared on radio as the title character in the series “The Adventures of Michael Shayne, Private Detective”. In 1947 he appeared on radio with Lucille Ball in “Dark Corner”. Earlier in 1949, he was heard on “My Favorite Husband” in “Vacation Time.” He was a regular on “Let George Do It” and “Lineup” and was frequently heard on “The Cavalcade of America” and “Lux Radio Theatre.” Maher passed away in December 1951, only 43 years old.

Although the original Michael Shayne, the role was later played by Richard Denning (George Cooper).

Peter Leeds (TV Deliveryman) was born in Bayonne, NJ, and will also be heard on “My Favorite Husband in “Mother In-Law” in November 1949 and “Dance Lessons” in June 1950. He will be seen as the Reporter questioning the Maharincess of Franistan in “The Publicity Agent” (ILL S1;E31). He starred with Lucy in the films The Long, Long Trailer (1953) and The Facts of Life (1960) with Bob Hope. Coincidentally, he also appeared in “Lucy and Bob Hope” (ILL S6;E1) as well as an episode of “Here’s Lucy” in 1971.

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Coopers, dinner is over. George Cooper is in the living room reading the paper. Liz Cooper is in the kitchen talking to Katie, the maid.”

Liz tells Katie that she has a plan to get George to buy her a television set. She is going to hold up a big glass pie plate in front of her face and pretend like she’s a television wrestler.

LIZ: “Do I look like television?” KATIE: “Well your face is all wavy and distorted.” LIZ: “I look like television alright.”

Liz enters the living room with the pie plate in front of her face, but George thinks she is a washing machine.

Lucille Ball actually voiced a washing machine named Lina for a Westinghouse industrial film titled “Ellis in Freedomland” (1952). In 1958, she hid inside a washing machine at the end of “Lucy Buys Westinghouse”, another industrial film for the appliance manufacturer.

In 1952′s “Lucy Does a TV Commercial” (ILL S1;E30), Lucy Ricardo dispenses with the pie plate and disembowels her television set to look like she’s on the air! Like George, Ricky isn’t buying it.

George guesses that Liz is supposed to be a sailor looking out of a port hole, but warns her that he is not going to buy a television set, effectively ending the conversation. Liz says she is a social pariah because she doesn’t have a television set.

LIZ: “I never know who won the fights or what Kukla and Fran are doing to Ollie.”

“Kukla, Fran, and Ollie” was a children’s television show created by Burr Tillstrom that aired from 1947 to 1957. Kukla and Ollie were puppets and actress Fran Allison interacted with them. The show won a 1949 Peabody Award and went on to win two Emmys.

George suggests Liz read the newspaper or listen to the radio instead.

LIZ: “Television is taking the place of the newspaper.” GEORGE: “It is, huh? Well, I’d like to see you wrap the garbage in a television set!”

Before the advent of plastic garbage bags, food waste from the kitchen was generally wrapped in old newspapers before being deposited in the trash bin outside the home.

LIZ: “Every house on the block has an aerial. Our house looks positively naked.”

Before cable television and internet streaming, homes received television broadcast signals via an antenna (aerial) on the roof. In “Lucy Puts Up a TV Antenna” (TLS S1;E9) Lucy Carmichael decides to save the cost of an installation and erect the aerial herself - to disastrous results.

George agrees to buy the aerial - but not the television set.

LIZ: “Oh, great, that’ll fool everybody. Before we go out at night we can peel onions so our eyes will be bloodshot!”

Liz asks George to buy him an apple box instead.

LIZ: “If I have to watch it [TV] through a store window, at least I’ll have something to sit on.”

Before television sets became affordable to the general public, it was not uncommon to find people gathered in front of an appliance store window to view it from the street.

Liz answers the telephone. It is Iris, who brags about her brand new television set, which was delivered the day before.

IRIS: “I did my knitting last night with Ed Wynn; I had breakfast with Tex and Jinx; and this afternoon I took a bath with Hopalong Cassidy!”

“The Ed Wynn Show” was a variety show broadcast from September 22,1949 to July 4, 1950 on the CBS Television Network. Comedian and former vaudevillian Ed Wynn was the star of the program. Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz made their television debut as a couple on the show on Christmas Eve 1949, just a few weeks after this episode of “My Favorite Husband”.

“Tex and Jinx” were Eugenia “Jinx” Falkenberg and her husband John “Tex” McCRary. The couple were popular radio hosts who began on television in January 1947.

“Hopalong Cassidy” made the leap from books and movies to the small screen on June 24, 1949, kicking off the legacy of the Western on television. These were not new, but simply cut-down versions of the feature films that were in cinemas from 1935 to 1948. The film / TV series had William Boyd in the title role. A new TV series (also starring Boyd) with newly-filmed adventures, began in 1952.

Iris’s comment about “taking a bath with Hopalong Cassidy” gets a big reaction from the “My Favorite Husband” studio audience not used to salacious innuendo.

Iris comes up with an idea to help Liz convince George to buy her a television set. She invites the Coopers to come over, where their TV will be showing a football game. George will naturally see the joys of owning a TV and give in!

Instead of Iris or Rudolph, the Atterbury’s front door is answered by their neighbor, Joe Beckett (Jay Novello), the local TVM (television moocher). He says they just missed the big brawl!

GEORGE: “Mr. and Mrs. Atterbury?” JOE: “No. The Terrible Turk and Gorgeous George!”

Wrestling matches were very popular on radio and early television, producing such colorful wrestlers as the Terrible Turk and Gorgeous George. George Raymond Wagner (1915–63), was known as Gorgeous George because of his long blonde hair. He was mentioned on “I Love Lucy” in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25) and “Ricky’s Movie Offer” (ILL S4;E6). In 1949, Republic Pictures released a film starring Gorgeous George. Laurence LeBell (1907-48) was known as Ali Alaba, The Terrible Turk, a name that was used by many wrestlers from the late 19th century onwards. He died in a car crash just weeks after this episode aired.

Joe warns the Coopers not to sit behind Iris because they only have a ten inch screen. (Liz adds that Iris has a 16″ neck.) He advises that they visit the Schraders who watch “Pantomime Quiz” and serve sandwiches. The Andersons have beer, but you have to watch Western movies.

“Pantomime Quiz” (later titled “Stump the Stars”), was a television game show hosted by Mike Stokey. Running from 1947 to 1959, it has the distinction of being one of the few television series to air on all four TV networks during the Golden Age of Television. Lucille Ball is reported to have been on the series in December 1947, which would make it her television debut.

George realizes Liz’s scheme but is insistent that he won’t watch television. When he hears a football game is on, however, he is intrigued, and decides to see “how bad it looks”.

Liz’s incessant chattering makes Mr. Atterbury miss several key plays in the game. Mr. Beckett is back but then the picture suddenly goes black! They have to imagine the game and the commercials.

ANNOUNCER: “Liz’s plan to get George interested in television has blown a fuse. Right now, Liz is on her way downtown to drown her sorrows by buying a new hat...”

On her way down Sheridan Boulevard, Liz stops in front of a Trimble’s Appliance Store to gaze at the television in the window. An elderly man stops to chat with her about the joys of television. He convinces her to go in and ask about buying one. Of course, he turns out to be Mr. Trimble himself. She tells him to send over a set on trial.

Later that day, George finds himself in front of the same store, where he encounters the same elderly man! Needless to say, Mr. Trimble is successful in selling another set to George! Mr. Trimble thinks the address sounds familiar, but isn’t sure.

Still later, the Atterbury’s are doing the marketing when they stop in front of Trimble’s Appliance Store. Mr. Atterbury, already having a set, is convinced to send George Cooper. Mr. Trimble is now positive that he’s gotten the same address three times. He thinks he is being tricked and vows that he will only send over one TV set on trial, not three.

After dinner, the Coopers decide to stay in for the evening. The doorbell rings. Unbeknownst to one another, they both are expecting a TV delivery, but instead, it is the Atterburys. A moment later the bell rings again and a deliveryman (and Mr. Beckett) is there with one new television set. Naturally, the Atterburys, Liz, and George, all think they are the ones who bought the set!

The Atterburys think the Coopers are ungrateful and they decide to leave. Rudolph tries to take the TV set with him, but the set is damaged in the tussle.

LIZ: “You’re right Iris, this IS the television set you sent out!”

This ending is reminiscent of when the Ricardos and Mertzes argue over who broke a TV set Fred and Ethel gave Lucy and Ricky as a gift. They, too, argue over ownership of the set, until it is irreparably damaged!

LUCY: “Look what happened to YOUR television set!”

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