#ive found some people can be hostile toward. like im black and i have some. Opinions on parts of dragon ball. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unholyhymns · 2 years

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Hi! I've been getting into theistic satanism/ demonolatry and as a black lgbt agnostic person I'm having a hard time settling into the idea. I'm seeing a lot of mainly white Americans/Europeans practicing these theistic left hand religions and claiming to work with gods and deities from Africa (Egypt) and being insensitive/dismissive towards cultural appropriation (tattoos depicting symbols of closed practices etc.) There are racists and bad people in every religion and belief system known to man so I'm not TOO surprised but do you have any reading recommendations for me or thoughts/experiences on theistic satanism as a whole that you'd wanna share (good or bad!) from a black POV? What makes it feel like home? I'm desperate to hear another voice like mine lmao..

hi! i’ll start off with personal experiences, tho i do have some book recs i can give you. i’ve been in online pagan/’lhp’ spaces for a while now (around like 14 years dskjsdf, tho not all of that was spent on tumblr) and unfortunately, the racism and cultural appropriation is rife no matter which pagan deities are being worshiped. and bc of that, poc get pushed out or our voices get drowned out. that said, i have had… a lot of beef with the kemetic community over the years because at least the norse pagans bother to try and take out their trash. i think the community has gotten better but i honestly have backed out of online spaces for the most part because it has felt very hostile, so who knows. idk if there’s a cohesive lhp community on tumblr bc i avoid the tags like the plague now. but i have yet to find a lhp focused discord server that didnt very quickly dissolve into racism lmao. for the most part, the spaces have been very lgbt friendly tho.

that said, i have had some good experiences online. even some great ones. ive made some amazing friends. there are nonblack/white doing their best to get rid of racism in the communities and i see them and appreciate it. ive had the best luck joining broad pagan servers and lurking the satanism channels there, but honestly. ive kind of just stepped away from online communities. ive found its not really my thing. im not the greatest at online communication and people get on my nerves too much skdfjhsdjf also im a godspouse so if all of the above doesnt cause issues, that fact alone causes contention. so. i just kinda vibe on tumblr with my silly little sideblogs. i have seen some other black satanists in passing on here so we’re def out here, tho i dont know if theres a space for us somewhere. maybe someone’s made a discord? (like i said, i dont go in the tags anymore lol)

as for my experience with theistic satanism, i love it. i am so happy in my faith. personally, my practice has thrived the most when i keep it solitary (tho i know not everyone enjoys that). he’s always encouraged me to forge my own way and my number one method of doing things is to fuck around and find out so the lack of an online community hasn’t really impacted me spiritually. im not sure how encouraging this is skdjfhsdh it feels like home for me because i love my god very very much. ive made a space for him within my own home.

that said, i know it can feel isolating and disheartening; and it definitely has (and still does sometimes), especially when i was at the beginning of my journey. the best thing i can recommend is to find any spiritual space that is welcoming to satanists and staunchly anti-racist/lgbt friendly and sticks to that, and then make friends. even if they arent of your faith, sometimes just having someone spiritual to talk to is really nice.

but also! my DMs/asks are always open if you have questions or just wanna talk.

as for books, here are my usual recommendations for starting out. if you want more, i can definitely go through my collection. i have…….. a lot of books lol:

-The Devil: A New Biography by Phillip Almond

-Satanic Feminism by Per Faxneld

-Satan: A Biography by Henry Ansgar Kelly

-The Devil’s Dozen by Gemma Gary (this is more just… rituals instead of info but ik sometimes ppl want those)

-Poetics of Iblis by Whitney Bodman

-Satan’s Tragedy and Redemption by Peter Awn

i hope this helped! like i said, feel free to send more asks/DMs abt anything or with more questions :)

#i dont want to tag this with the tags bc i am very much gently swinging a bat at a hornets nest here but i do want you to be able to #find this later skdjfsdhf #theistic satanism

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theramseyloft · 5 years

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hey there, found your blog through a friend. ive been scanning your blog and patreon, and i felt like reaching out because, well... you're basically living my dream life, haha. i would love to do work like you do, rehabbing birds and training them, especially as companions/aids for disabled folks. pretty amazing! do you mind if i ask how you got started? is it an expensive venture? do you own farmland or live in a suburban area? im gonna send this before i take up too much of your time, haha. :)

I have raised ALL kinds of animals, but it was rats that lead me to pigeons.

I’ve had fish, herps, and inverts most of my life, so the way rats, mice, and Gerbils were able to bond with me felt really special.

Rats being the most intelligent and cooperatively social

When I had to stop raising small mammals, I wanted a pet that would similarly enjoy handling. Like, be happy/excited to see me when I got home, more than just wanting out.

Warm blooded, but non mammalian left birds.

Psitticines are wild animals that have needs WAY beyond our capability to meet, so they are all firmly on the no list.

I enjoyed Zebra finches, but my husband and I are sound sensitive, and he finds their song physically painful.

We can’t have chickens where we live...

Ringneck Doves ticked all the boxes for what I needed in a companion bird:

Docile/tractable Small/easy to house Easy to feed Physically incapable of biting or making painfully high pitched noises.

Turns out I was wrong about that last one! That’s pigeons. XD

We learned this with our first ringneck: An ANCIENT rescue and his wife named Nigel.

What a story those birds had!

My dear hubby was dubious about letting me raise another species, but after some shared research, was ok with me fostering some unwanted ones and finding them a new home.

I found them on Craig’s list, with cage and all.

When we went to pick them up, their owners explained that they had been unwanted, but traditional wedding gifts they felt they couldn’t refuse.

Ten years later, their owners had long ago gotten tired of caring for them, and just wanted them gone.

Their parents had purchased the pair when they retired from a magic show, and had had them as long as the couple could remember.

Having since sold white ringneck doves to magicians, I’ve learned that a trained dove retires between five and ten years of age, depending on temperament.

The parents were reported to have owned them for 15-20 years.

And the owners we picked them up from had had them for ten.

Making this pair of white Ringneck doves at LEAST 30 years old.

After this history, the wife brought them for us to take.

They were in a filthy black finch cage that had been left on their owner’s back porch long enough for a colony of fire ants to bring their own dirt and build a camp-nest in the bottom.

The birds were actively being swarmed and stung.

It took me a full thirty minutes to pull all of them off the two ancient doves...

It was touch and go for a bit, but they pulled through, and we found a home for the hen.

The cock, Nigel, had a twisted beak and the WORST coo!

High pitched and severely nasal, it could bore into your brain through ear plugs. >v<

He LOVED us, though, and liked to sing us the song of his people! At random. On Mike’s shoulder, directly into his ear. All hours of the night. During the day, up where we couldn’t reach him. Even through trying to shoo him off his favorite perch...

He had SO much personality, and even though his song caused both of us severe physical pain and prevented us from sleeping, we could not help growing to dearly love him back.

Mere weeks after my Dear Hubby decided he wanted Nigel to spend the rest of his life with us, his time ran out.

He passed very suddenly, in our arms.

We mourned him. Lamented having so little time.

And we considered where to go from there.

We decided to find a breeder, so we could get little peeps and have the maximum amount of time with what felt like the perfect pet for us.

I had no idea they could be parent raised and still be tame, so I raised that first pair like I had my Zebra finches in College.

We took them home just feathered enough to keep warm and fed them formula.

Gordon and Sasami were those babies.

And they were such a delight, we wanted nothing more than to share with the world how wonderful hand raised dove could be.

So I got the Dear hubby’s permission to seek out more breeding pair.

Between what I could buy and what I could raise, we ended up with 8, and then eventually 16 pair.

There was not much knowledge about keeping them as house pets, or their behavior, beyond what it took to get them to reproduce.

It was common at the time, and still is, to treat Ringneck Doves like small pigeons: Keeping them in large decorative flocks in an out door pen.

It was only through raising the young of my 16 pairs and letting them grow out free flying in the middle room of my home that I learned that these long since domesticated birds could be tamed through socialization from a young age, like a puppy.

But more importantly; just how vehemently anti-social they are!

One or two Ringneck Doves can be perfectly happy in an enclosure, but there should NEVER be more than two in any space where they can make physical contact!!!

They are VICIOUSLY territorial!

Every pair NEEDS to be an an individual enclosure, with ABSOLUTELY no way to make physical contact with any other bird, including and especially their own weanlings!

The second even their own peeps are fully self feeding, the parents start to mercilessly attack them, hell bent of driving out what they now see as an intruder invading their space and stealing their food and food from their future babies at any cost, up to and including killing them!

The actual Bird of Peace is the Rock Dove: the wild ancestor of the domestic Pigeon.

Two years after I started breeding doves, I started showing them. You can really only show doves in their own section of pigeon shows, and after seeing all the beautiful variation in pigeons, I was smitten.

I brought home my first pigeon egg from my second show: a Portuguese tumbler hen laid it in her show cage, and I was shocked to find that breeders usually just threw those away.

Pugsly was hatched by a pair of doves, and he was amazing.

Friendly, outgoing to the point of being obnoxious, adorably, delightfully funny.

SO much more personable than the doves!

At another show, I picked up some Classic Old Frills.

Them some Old German Owls a year later.

Then some Old dutch Capuchine.

The more breeds I worked with, the more fascinated I became with the differences in the temperaments of different breeds, and the more I found I enjoyed working with the pigeons.

I knew we had used pigeons for lots of interesting studies.

Like this one about the development of heart disease!

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/07/060729133950.htm

This one, using training tosses of urban homing pigeons wearing special back packs to monitor lead pollution

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/07/160719144733.htm

But these using their natural pattern recognition as a diagnostic tool for human diseases:

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/pigeons-can-spot-breast-cancer-medical-images-180957323/?utm_source=facebook.com&no-ist

https://www.audubon.org/news/how-common-street-bird-could-coach-doctors-against-bad-diagnosis

Led me to finding this article.

https://www.audubon.org/news/the-origins-our-misguided-hatred-pigeons

And it hit me like a ton of bricks:

Pigeons are not native to North America.

European settlers and immigrants brought them.

They had already been domesticated for thousands of years by then.

There is no such thing as a Wild pigeon in North America.

They are the avian equivalent of the street dog problem in Mexico:

Generations of domesticated animals entirely dependent on human hand outs or left overs for survival, with no shelters to take them in or sterilization programs to prevent more unwanted individuals from being born into a hostile environment that can’t support their numbers.

As long as I have bred any species of animal, I have been active in rescue, rehabilitation, fostering, and finding homes for unwanted individuals of that species.

For me, the two just go hand in hand.

I started volunteering for the local wildlife rehab as soon as I started breeding, initially using my domestic doves (that will raise absolutely anything) to foster orphaned Mourning and Eursadian Collared Doves: hoping to prevent them from bonding to me so that they could be soft released.

When it became known that I raised pigeons, I started getting calls for them too.

Ankhou was the first that needed really hands on care.

He arrived with a baby Mourning dove.

He and it were both recent orphans.

The wild native dove baby is well muscled, and the appropriate size for its age.

Ankhou, at 4 weeks old, should have looked like Pippin:

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You can pretty accurately compare the difference between rehabbing a Mourning Dove and a Pigeon with the difference between rehabbing a grey fox kit and a stray puppy.

Like a grey fox, the Mourning dove is a native wild animal. It is absolutely vital to keep direct human interaction to the absolute minimum because developing a dependence on and friendliness towards humans will get them killed.

Either immediately and out right by hunters, or more slowly through malnutrition.

Puppies are not expected to survive in the wild, and absolutely NO rescuer would raise a puppy they found behind a garbage can or in a dumpster to weaning and nurse it to health only to dump it right back in the ally.

So I absolutely REFUSE to abandon a rescued pigeon by dumping it right back on the street it barely escaped from with its life and it honestly sickens me how many pigeon rescues advocate doing exactly that to any pigeon that doesn’t look purebred or fancy enough.

Feral Pigeons not being wild animals, and being an INTENSELY social and touch oriented species, it would not only not have been beneficial, but out right cruel not to interact with tiny, emaciated Ankhou.

Ankhou was going to take a VERY long time to catch up on enough of his development to safely find a home, so we ended up adopting instead of fostering him.

I spent a lot of time holding and talking to him, and he bonded so closely to me that the became sensitive to my anxiety attacks and started alerting for them.

He also started responding appropriately to requests, as if he actually understood them.

He had pretty severe separation anxiety, and if I stepped into the quarantine room to deal with a bird that might be ill, he would panic the moment his line of sight was interrupted.

If, however, I took the time to tell him “Ankhou, I need to go into quarantine. I will be back. Wait here.”, he would sit down in front of the door and wait quietly until I came back out with sterile hands.

This got me curious, and I started researching pigeon social and cognitive development.

As it turns out, they have a shockingly human society.

A pigeon flock is a large, extended family of birds.

Young birds don’t split off when they wean. They join the flock, forming a close knit friend group among the other weanlings from whom they will select mates as adults and with whom they will learn to find food, water, and nest materials and what to do with those.

Very like human children moving out of their parents’ house and forming bonds among their peers.

Pigeon society is an efficient democratic meritocracy.

Communication on the wing is INCREDIBLY efficient

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/06/150609213053.htm

They vote on nearly EVERYHTING

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/04/100416214045.htm

And if a leader proves to be ineffective, or a navigator inaccurate, the flock can and will vote to demote them.

https://www.audubon.org/news/in-homing-pigeon-flocks-bad-bosses-quickly-get-demoted

Pigeons are absolutely CRAZY-Smart!

Pigeons are capable of high level cognition. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2009/…/090212141143.htm

To the extent that they understand the concepts of space and time! https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2017/…/171204144805.htm

They are self-aware enough to distinguish themselves from other pigeons, able to recognize themselves in photos, video, and mirrors AND differentiate between the three. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2008/…/080613145535.htm

Their brains are wired SHOCKINGLY similarly to ours: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2013/…/130717095336.htm

They categorize things and learn the equivalent of words the same way human toddlers do!

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2014/…/140402095107.htm https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2015/…/150204184447.htm

They can even learn to read written language well enough to differentiate between a real word and an acronym with the same number of letters.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releas…/2016/…/160919111535.htm

They are pattern mapping social learners. Exactly like we are!

Building on this list of scientific studies, I started to experiment with teaching each successive generation of the resident pigeons to understand the basics of verbal communication by the same mechanic as one would a toddler.

And in just the last two years with Ankhou, I have learned that they can literally learn to understand both spoken AND written human language, and literally all it takes is talking to a pigeon as if it is a nonverbal human toddler who does not know that word yet to be able to teach them to understand object words, action words, emotion words, names, and locations.

Pigeons are pets you can literally communicate to in your native language.

It is absolutely amazing!

Ankhou was not trained to alert for my anxiety attacks.

He literally did that AND started alerting me for blood sugar spikes entirely on his own.

Not even a pigeon hatched in a human house hold. A feral.

No special genetics. No training what so ever.

Just a pigeon being a pigeon: bonding with what he considered a flock mate, and getting worried when he noticed something was wrong.

Which made me wonder: What would happen if specific traits conducive to bonding with humans and being sensitive to their emotional state were selected for in a population?

What if those birds were given at least basic communication training? On top of the matching we already do by temperament.

I’m actually working on documenting our finances and plan to discuss them in more detail at the end of the month.

Just taking in rescues to foster is an expensive process.

You need to have quarantine space that keeps new birds as completely separated from your residents as possible.

You need a vet who is either experienced with or willing to learn to treat pigeons. Each new bird will need, at absolute least, a fecal test for parasites.

You need to have dip on hand for external parasites, and the funds to buy what ever wormer, anti fungal, antibiotic, or anintimicrobial is required to treat what ever the fecal exam turns up.

Which could legitimately be all of the above, as I have had one individual come in with two species of lice, two species of intestinal worms, coccidiosis, AND salmonella, all at the same time. I have had several others come in with Trich or thrush in place of or in addition to the coccidia or salmonella.

Most will come in malnourished or injured on top of being sick and/or parasitized.

You REALLY have to plan for the worst with rescues.

Because taking in animals you cannot house or feed or for whom you are unable to provide the necessary medical care is NOT rescuing them.

It is subjecting them to the exact neglect that rescuers intend to save them from.

It is REALLY easy for big hearted people to find themselves overwhelmed and exhausted trying to save every one, and that is something every one who wants to rescue needs to keep in mind for the sake of their health as much as the quality of their care.

I live in a trailer park in Ga, on a little plot of land just big enough to say I have a front and back yard.

The modest inheritance my parents left me and my sister when they passed funded the loft being built, and my husband’s job pays for what ever daily maintenance and veterinary care that bird and harness sales and my Patreon can’t cover.

It was designed around comfort and disease prevention for them and pain management for me. It really makes my day to know that people have enough interest in my work to ask detailed questions!

It’s a bit of a bear for an autistic woman with ADHD to get to a bunch of them all at once, but I still REALLY want to hear them and am THRILLED to get to answer!

It’s easier for me to answer in detail if I can focus on one question at a time, though.

There is absolutely no limit to the number I am willing to answer, so don’t be afraid to flood my inbox with a ton of individual questions. ^v^

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bluethepaladin · 6 years

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Yo blue im on a super duper important quest to find really good lance centric fics, you know, that high quality top shelf kinda stuff. ive already read ur fic but im lookin for more. Got any recs????????

hey there, friend, you came to the right place! sorry this took so long, I made this whole post and then my computer was being difficult and I lost the whole thing, so this is the second time I’m making it! thank you so much for reading when I dream it happens in blue. I’ve got some great new content on the way, but in the meantime, here are some great reads to hold you over!

7 Times They Noticed by @em-the-cliche

Lance was alright. He was happy. He was fine. Except when he wasn’t.

“Listen. Are you alright?”“Uh…are you alright?”“Are you okay buddy?”“Are…are you in good health, paladin?“Are…are you okay, paladin?”“Hey. You okay?”

His team mates, his second family - they noticed.

A Commutual Contract by @skaylanphear

After a terrifying experience during which Lance, seemingly, dies, Keith is haunted by horrible nightmares of holding his comrade in his arms while he took his final breath. To the point where he can’t sleep unless he knows for absolute certain that Lance is alive.

And while the attention is surprising, Lance doesn’t really have a problem with Keith checking up on him. Or the fact that Keith only seems totally comforted when he can cuddle Lance close and hear his heart beat. After all, there’s nothing wrong with two bros cuddling. It doesn’t MEAN anything. Or, at least, that’s what Lance keeps telling himself.

At Rest (Five Miles Behind the Front) by @thisgirlhastales

Shiro is no longer the Black Paladin. He is no longer the commander of Team Voltron. He is a soldier without a purpose and a leader without a legion at his back.

Lance is a seventh wheel. He is not fit to be a leader, and perhaps not even fit to be a Paladin.

Or, in which two Paladins of Voltron learn their true worth, and finally, there is well-earned rest.

Beautiful Minds by PotatoBender

Lance used to be proud of his mental abilities. A pilot. A Paladin. Someone experienced with delving and controlling his mind. But after being captured, and enduring just a single encounter with Haggar, his castle was reduced to rubble.

Rescuing Lance was the easy part - healing him is much, much harder.

Blast Zone by bubblebucky

In the middle of a mission, a bomb going off leaves Lance unable to hear. Still, while he’s deaf, the rest of his team are the ones that won’t listen.

Boom Crash the Sound of My Ship by @maychorian

After a Galra attack splits Voltron, the blue lion is damaged and falls toward the jungle planet below. Shiro follows, and now he and Lance are stranded in hostile territory, fighting to survive. Lance is injured, Shiro is having flashbacks, and help is far away. And the Galra just…keep coming.

Brain storm by @trickstersgambit

Lance managed for years without too many obvious issues. Those who needed to know, knew. Until it became a problem he thought he buried in his awkward early teen years.

calling me to come back by @apvrrish

Keith is a witch who owns a shop where he breaks curses on both magical items and people under spells. Love spells, family curses passed down generations, cursed heirlooms lurking the attic – he can handle them all. But one day a boy named Lance walks into his shop, and his curse is darker and more difficult to break than anything Keith has ever seen before: the curse is draining his magic, and without his magic, Lance will die.

This is a new favorite of mine!

Dark Blue by @thunder-dor

Lance has a bad habit of comparing himself to his teammates. Lotor needs a Paladin with a weakness.

Lance gets kidnapped and Keith will do anything to get him back.

This is a great fic and Jessie is a writing goddess!!!

Fighting the Surface by @tomminowrites

“Humans have shown quite the impressive drive for survival,” the Galra commander grins. “I want to see you fight against that. The druids claim drowning is quite the painful way to go.“ He tips Lance backward over the water, as Keith and Shiro struggle against their bonds. “If you surface, they die.”

Lance’s eyes widen and he’s pushed backward with a splash.

______

Keith, Shiro, and Lance are taken captive during a mission planet-side. The commander decides he only needs two paladins for interrogation, and decides to have a little fun while they wait for extraction. Lance is thrown into the deep with the threat that if he swims up for air, one of the other two will be shot. Obviously Lance would rather die than allow that.

Later chapters will, of course, deal with Keith and Shiro losing their damn minds thinking Lance just drowned himself for them.

I helped beta this one! It’s good!

Ghost of the Future & Shadow of the Past by @zizzani & @wittyy-name

When Lance is thrown through time, his future self from one year ahead is transported to the past in his place.

This Lance is faster, stronger, and markedly more mature. Not only that, but he’s distinctly more intuitive about his teammates and A LOT more touchy with Keith.

The team must try and work out how to reverse the two Lance’s places and restore them to their original timelines. Things only get more complicated when the Future Lance can’t seem to remember where he was when the switch happened, and he refuses to reveal anything about his own time for fear of influencing the team’s decisions.

Mirror fic to “Shadow of the Past” by wittyy_name

When Lance is thrown through time, he finds himself one year in the future, in place of the Lance that should be here.

He finds his team to be remarkably familiar, yet distinctly different. They have more scars, a better grip on the whole saving the universe thing, and over a year’s worth of teamwork to bind them together. But the weirdest part? Keith seems to be a lot more touchy with him. Not that he’s complaining… much.

The team must try and work out how to reverse the two Lance’s places and restore them to their original timelines. But despite the fact that they’re still his friends, Lance can’t help but feel a little out of place among a team that’s been through so much with a Lance that just isn’t him. And it doesn’t help that the team is on edge around him, refusing to tell him anything for fear of influencing and changing the past. Things get even more complicated when they have to rely on the team in the past to complete the switch, leaving Lance to little more than sit, wait, and attempt to fill in his future self’s shoes.___________

Mirror fic to “Ghost of the Future” by Zizzani

give out to give in by @mlp-michaeljones

So typical. So fucking typical, that Lance is the youngest and worst of his siblings, and then the kids come along and he isn’t even the cutest anymore, and he only made fighter pilot because perfect fucking Keith dropped out and even when he piloted a lion he didn’t have a thing like the others, and now he can’t even have Blue. Maybe he was the one to suggest it, but he was barrelling towards this point all along; rock fucking bottom.

When it becomes clear that Allura is a better pilot than him, Lance steps down as the Blue Paladin. It is, after all, the obvious decision. Lance is, and has always been, the afterthought.

But who needs an afterthought?

He Don’t Fuckin Care by ya_ya_rose

Lance knows how to hold his own. But he isn’t indestructible.

Huddling for Warmth: The Movie by @maychorian

The paladins are heading back to the Castle of Lions after another successful mission when Shiro suddenly realizes that something is wrong. Lance isn’t responding on the comms.

Love and Other Questions by @squirenonny

One week after news of the Kerberos disaster broke, Pidge receives a new Mark–proof that Matt is still alive. She breaks into the Garrison to find him, only to find herself caught up in the fight for the fate of the universe.

Keith keeps his arms covered so he doesn’t have to watch Shiro’s scars compounding on his skin–but doing so means cutting off contact with his romantic soulmate, who greets him each morning with a new (and terrible) pickup line.

Shiro and Matt thought they were the luckiest people alive when they found out they were going to Kerberos together. But Shiro hasn’t seen Matt’s untidy scrawl on his arm in almost a year, and he has no idea if his soulmate is even still alive.

[Canonverse Soulmate AU with romantic and platonic soulmates (and some gray areas in between)]

Perihelion by @eclecticinkling

After growing up in the shadow of war, Prince Lance of Altea would give almost anything to bring peace back to his people. So when a Galran ambassador arrives with an offer to make that a reality, Lance knows he can’t refuse. Even if it means binding himself to his enemy’s prince for as long as they both shall live.

say you’re gonna break my fall by @apvrrish

Keith tries to deal with being the leader, and also tries to deal with his feelings about Lance. It’s a process.

Keith looks up and sees Lance staring at him, head tilted at an angle. His eyes are just barely visible through the visor, but his mouth is twisted into a puzzled curve.

“Sorry,” Keith says, flushing. “Lost in thought.”

“You okay?” Lance asks, falling into step alongside him as they follow the others out of the ship.

so much more than space dust by @ad-asterism

When a cryopod malfunctions, Lance is left with amnesia. As he struggles to figure out where he fits in the new formation of the team, the rest of Voltron is racing against the clock to figure out where Lotor will strike next- and their only clue is hidden somewhere in Lance’s lost memories. Lance will have to find a way to remember what he’s missing- or come to terms with what he’s forgotten.

Taking One For The Team by YukiSetsu

A mission gone wrong lands Lance and Pidge in a dangerous situation. When communication with the rest of the team is compromised, they have to take drastic measures to escape. Pidge can only hope that they get out before things get worse and one of them breaks. Especially Lance.

The Reluctant Soldier by @banditywrites

Lance is badly injured on a mission and struggles with his role as sharpshooter.

Thirty-One Days by SidneyJean

Lance experiences loss, in all its ugly faces, for the first time after beginning his journey as a Paladin and discovers just how that changes a person over time. It…doesn’t happen the way he expected. The people around him begin to change, and so does he.

Trembling Lips by @newtsckamander

Lance is an emotional person who cries easily (and does the trembly-lip thing a lot) but tries to stay strong in front of the team.

Five times Lance stopped himself from crying in front of his teammates, and the one time he couldn’t hold it back.

Universal Fates by @celty-me

Alfor, Zarkon, Trigel, Gyrgan, and Blaytz set off on missions across the galaxy to gather pieces of an artifact so Alfor can complete Voltron.

Zarkon encounters a human boy with a missing arm fighting as a gladiator.Trigel encounters an enslaved young human girl whose genius is being exploited.Gyrgan encounters a human boy who disabled a pirate ship he and his people had been chasing.King Alfor encounters a young half-galra boy who aids the king and Coran when they are cornered by bandits.Blaytz encounters an Altean boy enslaved on a slave trading planet.

Each ally feels compelled to rescue and adopt the orphans they encounter, setting the wheels of fate into motion.

While each child carries the scars of their past, they form bonds too strong to ever be broken. They will find friendship and family with each other, and maybe love, even as events threaten everything they know and care for.

wanna be known by you by @bluewriters

Sometimes Lance feels like he’s been stained blue, the colour of his lion seeping through his skin as he chokes on cold stardust, and he is drowning in waves of blue, blue ocean. Lance has never been afraid of the ocean before.

He rolls over and turns off the lights. He doesn’t sleep.

Watching You Fall by @emerald-ashes

Shiro couldn’t find Lance. He knew he was in danger after his communications ended abruptly. But he certainly wasn’t prepared to find Lance dying on the floor of a Galra base during one their missions.

Words Fail by EagleInFlight

A mind-melding exercise goes wrong, and the five Paladins are now trapped in Lance’s mind. To escape, they must delve through Lance’s memories. Lance learns that in order to save his friends, he has to stop running. But to stop running means to face the worst of himself.

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ifyougiveagirlapencil · 7 years

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The next zoe should be adopted and heres why…. an essay

Yall want context lets start from the verryyyyy beginning. (added actor notes are for the characters who are changed by Zoes Race)

Context for the murphys (pre show)

Zoe was adopted from china when she was a baby

Whether or not Cynthia actually adopted her for selfish reasons is up to the viewer but im gonna go with no because I don’t find Cynthia inherently malicious.

They say that most siblings who are super close in age actually are more hostile to each other. (my parents have a 3 year difference on their siblings) but because Zoe grew up in a white household she clings to the one closest to her age (connor)

They live in a mostly white neighborhood and Zoe gets bullied by other kids. Connor, honestly too young to even know about race insists she is his sister and he loves her (ages 8 and 9)

Zoe grows on connor and she will have a special place in his heart. The line “Just because Connors no banging on my door screaming hes going to kill me, doesn’t mean were the fucking brady bunch” is ill placed in anger towards her mother not connor.

When connor grows older he understands race a little more and he tells zoe that she will always be his sister. (hanging out in the orchard practically inseperable)

Because of this different relationship growing up, Zoe has an attachment to connor and is more likely to forgive him for his shit.

When connor starts to act out Zoe is more involved in getting him help, in the end she blames her parents inactions for his death. And beats herself up for not have trying harder.

OK now that that’s out of the way.

Anybody have a Map

While Connor acts hostile Zoe is constantly trying to break the mood, and joke around with her. Like olivia Pucketts performance, she is joking at the breakfast table.

When connor and evan meet in the middle of the stage, Zoe is trailing behind Connor.

Like Olivia Pucketts performace zoe’s “if connor’s not coming im leaving without him” is played as if she wouldn’t actually leave him behind.

Waving through a window.

I think Zoe would recognize evans sadness, from experiencing it with connor.

I think she would give evan extra smiles and waves, to try and connect with him.

Upon her entrance she might enter with a wave.

For Forever (and before)

(I wish we got to see zoes first raw reaction to getting the news about connor)

Im thinking it was a whole lot of shutting down

I also think she collapsed.

Im choosing to Omit “no connor was a bad person” for “like you payed attention to any of his problems!”

“There were no good things” refers to the more recent times where her memories are all breaking her family up from Connor.

The “what were the good things” stem from the fact that zoe for 3 or 4 years was the mediator between Connor and her parents. Shes calling out Cynthia for deluding herself into thinking that connor wasn’t depressed, like he killed himself for no reason.

Requiem

I could quote the entirety of requiem with different notes and feelings for every line. But I may do that in a different post because this thing would become 20 pages. But the main points

In the beginning her tone is level and controlled. Shes thinking as she sings

When larry starts singing she visibly winces, when he says that he gave him so much and that he “threw it away”

She dislikes her mothers attitude, not because shes trying to make connor seem like a good person but because, in cynthias own way, she also didn’t help connor and her delusion that connor was always a good person, misses the entire point that he had a mental issue which his parents didn’t try to understand.

She belts the second chorus in frustration she doesn’t blame connor she blames her parents.

In the bridge specifically “don’t tell me that it wasn’t black or white” is her literally pointing out that her and her parents are different races.

When she sings (or sing/belts) "That you were not the monsterS that I knew." The “monster” origianally for connor is changed to “monsterS” aimed directly at her parents.

Saying in the last chorus when zoe sings “saying that I miss you” she is directly mocking larry for missing connor who didn’t even cry at his funeral and mocking Cynthia for missing a connor who didn’t even really exist.

In the end she shuns herself away and sings a solemn last “ohhhh ohhhhhh”

If I Could tell her (and before)

Bottom line. In this version, evan and zoes relationship isn’t like, that healthy. Its healthy but for the wrong reasons.

In this version Zoe is literally trying to save evan from becoming her brother. And while she loves him, its more as a friendship. (so when he kisses her later at the end of the song, shes still pretty surprised)

zoe is talking to evan about all the fads her mother goes through and she just like casually drops the fact that she thinks that her own adoption in itself was a "fad" based move that her mom pulled just like all the diets she goes on.

She reveals that she feels neglected and hurt that her parents spent more time on their birth son, connor

So during the song I never think that enough happens. And the way that ive experienced witnessing anziety is that most people pick their cuticles. And I totally think that zoe would grab a bandaid. (I also want connor ((with no explination)) to have one or two bandaids on his fingers on during “does anybody have a map)

The reason zoe is asking about connor is that she never got to know him like the last 2 years.

It was like a one sided issue on her part. She would try to help and connor would brush her off.

You will be found

Zoe realizes that Evan is her second chance and can save him.

She chooses to do this by kissing him.

She doesn’t love evan but she doesn’t want to lose another friend.

The scene before to break in a glove.

Zoe is far more hostile to Larry.

She empathizes with her mother far more, and this exchange is less friendly.

Only us (and before)

I think at this point zoe says she doesn’t wanna talk about connor purely because she is tired.

Taking care of people when she feels shes never had anyone take care of her is draining.

She Just wants to spend time not in her house and not talking about connor.

(the bandaid scene could alternitab=vely take place in this song)

Also in this I think Zoe kneels down in front of evan and kisses his hands (I think people tend to gender these types of romantic moves, but as a caretaker I can see Zoe doing it)

"You will be found reprise"

where someone on the recording calls zoe a "stuck up bitch"

they call her some form of an asian slur which larry asks about what it means and Zoe tells him to drop it

Thats based off of a real life experience where i had to explain to my parents what "Ch*nk" ment

Words fail

I think zoe is extremely hurt, because her friendship is built off of connor who she loved. So like I don’t think anything is too different

Finale.

I think this finale is where zoe finally realizes her feelings and gets over connor.

I think she still loves Evan in a more healthy way and she still wants to protect him.

Notes

They never really talk about nail biting or picking in this musical, but I would bring it in. Because I like the idea of hands and like how zoe kissing evans hands like makes him feel better. (whoops) (also we never see Evan super flustered (like romantically) and I would love to see it from Ben, Colton and MLB)

This would actually work with any adopted situation (Olivia call me)

Extra notes in case people want to write this or whatever

She is extra best friends with alana, because growing up in an area of mostly white people POC tend to stick together,

Jared makes a ton of race jokes

not like deliberatly because i believe in jared more then that but like subltle micro agressions where he asks evan if he has "yellow fever"

Evan doesnt care what race she is tho. He’s neutral. He doesn’t fetishize her but hes also like not that political.

I would like to thank @neglectedrainbow for that post on Olivia because thats what started this.

ANd Olivia Puckett if you see this. CALL ME.

#zoe murphy #adoption headcannon #dear evan hansen #cynthia murphy #larry murphy #olivia puckett #evan hansen #Alana beck #jared kleinman #laura dreyfuss

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