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#ive been ugly crying for the past 8 hours
cronchthepotato · 2 years
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rest well king 👑❤
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radgalniya · 2 months
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“it should’ve been called the love doctor”: a ‘how to date billy walsh’ movie review
i really only watched this bc charithra was in it, but also sometimes you just get in the mood for a cheesy teen romcom.
1. anyway. i hate archie’s character. he is the worst friend ever. like are you sure you like her??? bc hes so mean to her. he basically called her an ugly loser and made her fucking cry and then STILL chose to pretend to be the love doctor, lie to her face, and saboutage her the entire process.
2. that scene where amelia does the whole school girl outfit and then struts past everybody is so cute love her character. i’m so mad it didnt end well for her then they called her splat face girl like yall are DEAD WRONGGG lmaoo
3. yknow ik shes crazy for being in love w/ billie after 10 hours but hes fine as hell so i mean.. i get it.
4. mean girls in movies need to have better digs. they were not intimidating. NO BARS. but when archie said “if i throw a stick amber would you chase it”?!?!?! he ate this one lil thing and the bitch responds w/ “sorry i dont speak nerd” girl pls move on. and then he said “we’ve got geography and these bitches are history” BARSSSSS
5. i’m sorry i’m back again to shit on archie. he is the WORST. it’s so hard to watch amelia take his love doctor advice on her date with billy brooo it’s painful i had to keep pausing. i’m praying she uses her brains and they end up dating at the end bc i stg if somehow archie gets the girl after treating her like shit i’ll throw up.
6. i’m ngl billys you dont know me speech reminded me of that riverdale scene where the guy is like i had to drop out of the fifth grade to push drugs to support my nana or whatever he said
7. i’m sick of millenials making teen movies and shows and putting every cliche they can. no one uses hashtags anymore outside of tumblr like pls get real and then the overuse of emojis boooo
8. i feel like they forced this whole billy and amelia arent right for eachother thing and it makes no sense. like they pour their hearts out to each other for what…for him to judge her for a fear fart pls…like archie is an asshole stop trying to make fetch happen!
9. she ditches him… at her house… right before the dance…ykw maybe i was wrong maybe amelia and archie are made for eachother. both so unnecessarily mean
10. he said “ive never been broken up w before so can i stop u right there” lmao iconic. love billy walsh. he is the best character in the movie. nobody deserves him. ig i forgive amelia tho cus she apologized.
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cinnaminsvga · 5 years
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intermission • iv | eclipse
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→ summary: When the love letter you wrote and submitted as an assignment is leaked to the entirety of your university, it becomes a race against time to dispel rumours and convince the seven suspected muses of the poem that they aren’t the subject before anyone realises that you are the author. Easy, right? Well… maybe not as easy as you think.
→ pairing: bts x reader (feat. sera) → genre: college!au, crack, fluff, angst → warnings: sfw other than some ugly jealousy c/o a snake → words: 4.9K → a/n: sera didn’t always use to be a shitty person. well, that’s a lie. she was always a shitty person. she just used to be able to hide it well.
— • masterlist | prev | intermission iv | next • —
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–– the first day of freshman year ––
The line for the free freshman orientation merchandise is longer than Sera had anticipated, even though she had arrived almost an entire hour early. Though most people would have dismissed the lengthy queue, Sera is Asian as Asian could get, her genes forbidding her from skipping over free shit when free shit can be received. She is sure her ancestors would never forgive her if she allowed this opportunity to slip through her fingers. And so, Sera waits with the rest of the cattle as the line shortens slowly, the heat of the early sun reminiscent of the summer months that should have already passed.
After sweating her body’s weight worth of sweat, she finally finds herself near the front of the line, foot tapping impatiently as the rowdy bunch of newly hatched boylings before her fought amongst themselves for the canvas knapsacks over the pink water bottles. Fragile masculinity at its finest, Sera thinks, as she watches with something akin to pity as the runt of the litter ends up with the “girlier” merchandise in the end.
At this point, all the better free items have mostly run out, though Sera wouldn’t mind getting the university emblem encrusted notepad and pen set. It is only a matter of moral principle when she gets the water bottle after seeing the boy from before shooting her with a desperate look, probably hoping to trade items with her if she had gotten something else. Sadistic pleasure courses through her veins when she sees the light fade from his eyes, the inevitability of his pink water bottle fate permanently sealed.
Puny boy. Drink your nasty energy drinks from your pink tinted bottle for all she cares. She’ll be doing the same, at least.
Free from that slow torture, Sera now has to subject herself to more agonizing torment by waiting for the rest of her orientation group members to arrive, most of whom should have gotten to the intended meeting location by now. She observes as her harried orientation leader tries unsuccessfully to get your small group to interact with one another, his fake cheery smile looking more strained as the apathetic faces of sleep-deprived freshmen fail to respond to his forced banter.
Her orientation leader, whose name she cannot recall for the life of her but will call “Mike” from now on, coughs awkwardly into his spotted handkerchief before dabbing his sweating forehead. Sera grimaces when she notices that a small glob of snot remains stuck to his skin where he had touched, though no one seems obliged to alert him of this fact. He glances at his watch, jumping from one foot to the other, as he does another headcount for the third time in the last ten minutes.
“7… 8… 9…” His finger hovers when it reaches the last person, his brow turned downwards in worry. The glob of snot dangles ever precariously from its perch. “Umm… Does anyone know where the last person is? We’re supposed to be ten, and the first part of our agenda is starting soon.”
Sera wonders why on earth he’s asking that as if they were supposed to be friends with one another. The university had forced everyone to make a group chat with their orientation groupmates a week ago, which was honestly a lost cause considering that everyone was randomly sorted into groups. Sera’s group chat only has two messages so far, with both being from the orientation leader himself. Out of ten people, only two of them have seen the messages, with Sera being one of them.
If that’s an indicator of how today is going to be, then Sera should have poured some shots into her kombucha like a sane person would have.
“Maybe you should try calling her?” One of the girls in her group says, her gaze never leaving her phone as she types rapidly, her dexterity astonishing despite her inch-long acrylic nails. Mike, on the other hand, stares forlornly at the black screen of his phone.
“No can do. My phone died a few minutes ago when I was in the middle of calling my mom. I guess I was too excited when I was telling her about today’s orientation day.” He laughs half-heartedly at that, and Sera might’ve felt a little bad for the guy if his phone didn’t have a keychain of an anime girl with big ol’ dobonhokeros. The only thing missing from his outfit is a big backdrop of his mom’s basement behind him to complete his look.
Mike looks around the group expectantly, obviously trying to catch the eye of one of you. Everyone’s heads bow down immediately, sensing that some effort and participation are about to be required from one of them. Nothing gets tired teens to disappear into the ground quicker than being asked to volunteer for anything that needed 0.01% of their brainpower. Unluckily for Sera, she is a bit too slow in her response, immediately locking gazes with Mike as a grin stretches on his face.
“Sera! You must know Y/N, right? I saw that you and Y/N had opened the group chat the other day. Why don’t you try calling her?” He says brightly, no signs of his depression from earlier. Two boys in Supreme hoodies snicker loudly at Sera’s dismayed face, and she vows to “accidentally” stomp on their pristine white sneakers later with her muddied old trainers.
“Um. Alright,” she agrees through gritted teeth, pulling out her phone with a heavy hand. Sera wonders if you’ll even take the call, possibly wary of answering an unknown number. Her pondering only lasts a second when you answer the call on the first ring, your heavy breaths being the first sound that greets Sera’s ears.
“I’m lost! I can’t find the soccer field! I’m running as fast as I can,” is your jumbled reply, followed by a screech on your end and what sounds like a honking car in the distance. “Sorry!” you call out immediately afterwards, and Sera hazards a guess that you were only two inches away from being roadkill.
“Yeah, this is Sera, one of your orientation groupmates. Mik–I mean, our orientation leader is wondering where you are.”
“I’m–” There is a pause, and Sera thinks for a moment that you might have dropped the call by accident or something. Then, you reply shakily, sniffling slightly. “I… I don’t know??? Help???”
What is it with today? Sera is meeting more people than she would like, and all of them seem to be the human equivalent of a cry for help. Surely, this is a test from above? However, there is something endearingly pitiful about your quiet sobs that makes her want to help you a little bit. She is never one to offer her services so freely to any stranger, but then again… She could become friends with you if you weren’t such a crybaby all the time.
“Describe where you are. I’ll try to come get you,” she says, not missing the way you gasp at her generosity. A feeling of pride settles into her chest, not disliking the way you must be so grateful for her benevolence. She should do this more often.
“Will you really? Oh my god, thank you!” you say giddily. You are quick to describe your surroundings, and luckily, Sera knows exactly where you are. The good thing about being a perfectionist is that Sera loves to over-prepare, so she already did her own tour of the campus before orientation day. In hindsight, she wonders why she even bothered to attend when she could handle herself perfectly. Oh right, the free stuff.
“Okay, hold tight. Be there in a bit,” she says before hanging up the phone. Sera turns back to Mike, who looks awfully smug for being as inept as he is. He begins to gather the rest of the group together, addressing all of them loudly.
“Thanks to the lovely Sera, our last member will join us shortly. In the meantime, we’ll head to the auditorium for the first event of the day while Sera finds Y/N!”
Wait– “You’re leaving me?” Sera shouts, jaw agape. Isn’t he supposed to be in charge? Whatever happened to teamwork and all that shit he was spouting literally ten minutes ago? Yet, here he was. All Mike the Mighty Ass does is shrug his shoulders, patting her impetuously on the back.
“We’re not leaving you! The auditorium is just over there,” Mike points to the imposing domed stadium just across the field. “And we’ll be seated right at the front, so just look for us there!”
“That stadium has a 7000 person capacity. How the hell am I supposed to–”
Sera doesn’t get to finish her sentiment as Mike raises his gaudy orange flag high up into the sky, signaling the rest of the group to follow his lead. None of the little shits even bat an eye as they quickly leave Sera in the dust to look for you.
As Sera gawks at the rapidly emptying field, she surmises that no number of free water bottle could ever amount to the trauma that the past few hours have inflicted on her. You better kiss the ground that she walks on when she finds you, or else there will be consequences to pay.
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Finding you is easier said than done. Sera is sure she knew where you were from your descriptions, though there is a possibility that she might have overestimated herself. Either that or your explanation had been vague at best.
“‘In front of the weird blue houses,' she said,” Sera mutters to herself, looking up at the only blue-painted buildings in sight. She supposes that “weird” is subjective, as the houses appear quaint as can be, though maybe you had found the little garden gnomes at the front to be a bit disconcerting. Regardless, there seems to be no other person in sight, unless the crotchety old man in the wheelchair might be you.
She is just about to call you again when a person with twigs in their hair comes running down the sidewalk, their backpack thumping harshly against their back with every step they take. They are waving their hands wildly in the air, a large grin on their face as they struggle to slow down their momentum before inevitably tumbling into Sera’s slight body.
She found you.
“Ooph!” Sera groans, barely holding onto her senses as she tries her best to keep both of you upright. “What the fuck? Where were you?”
“Sorry, sorry!” You apologize repeatedly, swatting away bits of leaves from your hair that consequently fall onto Sera’s sweater. “I got a bit distracted by this dude at a hair salon and I had to make a run for it–”
“Whatever,” Sera interrupts, tugging you by the elbow and back to where the orientation is being held. “Let’s just get out of here before we miss out on the stupid orientation.”
You stumble a bit as you follow after her quick strides, having to hobble a little to catch up. You tilt your head curiously at your surroundings, not recognizing any of the landmarks at all. “Uh. You sure we’re going the right way? All these buildings look weird…”
“Says the chick who couldn’t even find the soccer field.” Sera snorts, continuing to walk with determination. “If you’re going to ogle at every ‘weird’ building we pass, then it’ll take us years to get there. Hurry up!”
After taking a few wrong turns and reaching two deadends, it is only then Sera admits that she might have forgotten the way back. It’s not her fault; she’s only been on campus for a few hours before. To your credit, you don’t seem all that disheartened as she had expected, unlike how distressed you had sounded on the phone earlier. In fact, you are skipping happily along beside her, pausing every often to take a few pictures of the dormitories and lecture buildings like a tourist.
“It’s like this is the first time that you’ve ever seen a building,” Sera jokes, taking a seat on a bench as she watches you frolic around a water fountain. You strike a weird post at her, smiling radiantly with your teeth showing.
“It’s because I only just moved here! I was late because I was busy unpacking my stuff in my dorm room,” you explain, straightening up into a more dignified posture before going to sit beside her.
Sera looks at you curiously. “Oh? You’re living on res? Are you from out of town?”
You shake your head. “Nah. My mom and I live pretty far off though, and I’d prefer not to take a commute in the morning. It’s chill though; I’m sharing a room with this dude I used to go to high school with.”
“They have co-gendered dorm rooms here?” Sera’s interest is piqued, and you are quick to notice it. You laugh, shrugging your shoulders.
“Uh, kind of? We’re like childhood friends and his mom is really close with the residence dean, so she asked if we could room together, just for the first year. She doesn’t really trust him with strangers. He’s really shy, so he’s uncomfortable rooming with someone he doesn’t know.”
“So, you guys aren’t, like, dating or..?”
“Me? Dating Jungkook? Oh God, that’s funny!” You laugh, slapping your knee. The more you think about it, the more ridiculous the idea is. “He’s like a bro to me! I would never date him.”
Sera smiles, a seed of an idea being planted in her brain. She stores it for later, but for now, she asks “Oh? So you’d be fine with introducing him to me sometime? I’d love to meet new people.”
“Sure, dude. He’s really introverted, so I doubt you’ll get too much out of him,” you hum. You close your eyes, enjoying the way the breeze gently caresses your face as Sera observes you from the sidelines.
Interesting, she thinks. She’ll definitely hang around you more. You are not as annoying as she had originally thought, and maybe it would be nice to have a friend to hang out with in between classes. Unassuming, overly excitable, naive… You’re just an innocent puppy, who will follow anyone who pets it. Easy enough; Sera can afford to accommodate you.
Sera smirks, allowing herself to enjoy the breeze as well. University might not be so bad after all.
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A few months pass, and being friends with you isn’t as tedious as Sera had feared. In fact, you are a pretty chill person, someone whom Sera never needs to pretend to save face around. To you, her little mean streaks are nothing but little “quirks,” and you often wave them off as silly parts of her personality. Most of the time, the things Sera says are just that: jokes. More often than not, however, Sera has just grown comfortable around you to let her filter run a little loose, letting her goofier and bitchier side come out more easily.
Call it naivety or stupidity, but Sera is thankful to have you around.
Nevertheless, there are still some small moments when that thankfulness falls a little short. Take, for example:
“That TA is totally a bitch! She gave me an 80 on that essay only because her ex-boyfriend hit me up on Instagram. It’s not my fault that her boobs sag all the way to her hips!” Sera exclaims a little too loudly, and you have to silence her through stilted giggles as the two of you pass by the aforementioned TA.
“Marina isn’t that petty,” you say, though your defense is a little too lackluster to be effective. In fact, you’ve been a bit spacey all afternoon, not really present in most of your conversations together. You exit the lecture hall, walking to the cafeteria to grab some lunch. Sera has to pull you out of the way of two speeding bicycles before she thinks to ask you what’s up.
“Huh?” You mumble back, still smiling dopily at nothing. You’ve always been the type to get lost in your head, which is hilarious to Sera, given that your current debilitating crush is on none other than the most air-headed boy on campus. She supposes there is a certain appeal for opposite personalities, though it is funny that out of all the men on campus, you had to choose the heart-on for none other than–
“I was asking you what’s up with you,” Sera repeats, tutting as the two of you arrive at the cafeteria with no further casualties. “Seriously, it’s like your head is in your ass. Don’t tell me you finally got dicked down in the janitor’s closet and you’re basking in the afterglow.”
Sera’s crude comment is what finally gets you to snap out of it. “Hell no, you sex fiend!” You hiss, cheeks reddening at the jab. “Are you ever going to let that go? I told you that fantasy in confidence!”
“My lips are as loose as my pussy, my dude. You should know by now.” Sera says plainly, directing the two of you to one of the sushi joints. You don’t even protest Sera’s choice like you ordinarily would, as you have previously gotten intense food poisoning from one of their sashimi platters a week back. You must really be overthinking something then.
“I know. I’m just saying shit right now,” you say, pulling up a chair and plopping down. You fiddle with the soy sauce bottle contemplatively. “I’m spacing out because I’ve been thinking about the essay we just got back.”
“Oh?” Sera says, eyebrows lifting at that. She pulls out the menu, taking charge for the two of you as you have never quite mastered the art of choosing what food to get. Also, you’re scared of flagging down waiters, for whatever reason. “Did you also get saggy tits as your TA? I’m still mad about that B+, by the way.”
“That’s the thing,” you pause, accidentally flipping open the soy sauce bottle’s cap and spraying yourself with drops of the dark liquid. Neither of you even flinch when it happens, so used to catastrophes happening when it comes to you. You’re like a walking disaster magnet, and Sera has no idea why karma hates you so much. It’s a miracle that you’re alive, sometimes.
So it does come as a huge surprise to her when you follow up by saying, “She gave me an A+.”
The menu drops out of Sera’s hand. “What?” she nearly screeches, scaring the waiter who had been idly standing by your table. You point an apologetic glance at him as he scurries as far away from the two of you as possible, but Sera is undeterred. The words that had come out of your mouth makes no sense whatsoever.
“But… Marina literally gives no one higher than an A! I’ve got sources from upper years saying that she’s a beast when she grades – there must have been a mistake!” Sera says, not bothering to be polite.
You shrug, looking just as confused. “I thought so too. I was going to talk to her after class a while ago, but thought better of it and decided to not look a gift horse in the mouth… Better to accept it than question it, right?”
Sera hums, not wanting to admit that it was irking her that you didn’t ask the TA about it. Her annoyance is unwarranted, however, because she would’ve done the same. Why argue over a blessing? Still, it pains her to know that you got a higher grade than she did, even though you are taking the writing course as an elective, while Sera is a writing major herself.
The two of you enjoy your meal as if nothing had happened, and that is the first time in a long while since Sera has needed to put a façade around you.
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In the next coming sessions, Sera and you begin to realize that the A+ had not been a fluke as you consistently continue to ace the quizzes and assignments for your creative writing course. Your professor has been badgering you to consider switching courses for a week now, and you’ve politely declined each and every time.
“Music is just more my thing, you see,” you explain to him, bowing quickly as you exit out of the room to escape another ten minutes of his incessant pleading.
It’s really starting to grate Sera’s gears a little bit.
The thing is, Sera knows she is being petty. It’s not even a new occurrence for her, as she has been known to ditch people once they start being better at her in anything.
Gymnastics in 4th grade had been a bust when star athlete Jinyoung Choi discovered her flexibility during PE. Mathematics had gone down the drain once Abegail Sun had won the Mathlete Competition for the third time in a row. Writing should have been Sera’s only crowning achievement, as she had always grown up with people around her praising her ability to weave universes with her words.
She can’t share that spotlight, not when she’s been pushed into the shadows numerous times already. This time, she’s not going down without a fight.
The worst part about the whole situation isn’t even that you were like a baby waiting for their candy to be stolen. With Sera’s connections and sly tendencies, it wouldn’t be hard to crush you where you stood. She’s only done it once back in high school, stripped someone of their confidence so savagely that they were forced to move to another school. She is sure she could do it again, but for whatever reason, it feels like it would be too easy of a win.
The worst part is that you didn’t even want the limelight, the success. Creative writing is just a hobby for you, and you certainly don’t deserve the recognition at all. Effort should be awarded its due, and you have certainly never exerted more than a pinky finger’s worth in your entire writing career.
The final straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back, which pushed Sera past the point of reason, comes much later than anyone might have guessed. Sera’s patience is like plastic, sometimes durable and heat resistant, but oftentimes flimsy and tearable. It does not take a genius to figure out that all plastic must melt, one way or another.
Second-year comes, and Sera has all but allowed her simmering hatred to remain as just that: simmering. She is careful never to let it boil over, fearful of letting you see her break in the event that you would retaliate. Her problem is that she had allowed you to grow, forgetting to stomp on your confidence every so often so that you would be forced to depend on her. Now, you have amassed a sizeable following for your writing online, and Sera knows that you could use that power against her if you pleased. Cancel culture can be like the plague, and Sera knows the ins and outs of it better than anyone else.
Sera knows logically that you would never do that to her, as much as you would like to. Your morals restrain you from doing so, which saves Sera from some anxiety of backlash at least. Still, she has to remain careful anyway.
The two of you do not see each other as often as you once did during your first year. As sophomores, your majors require you to take more courses specialized towards your degree, meaning the general education courses that you shared were no longer required. The only time you ever saw Sera is during Creative Writing and the occasional lunch out in between classes.
Despite that, Sera just can’t get away from you, no matter how hard she tries. Your presence is everywhere: on the university newspaper, on the university forums, on club recruitment posters – hell, she thinks she sees some dude wearing a t-shirt with your face and Jungkook’s face printed on the front or something. Worst of all, she hears about you all the time, from her stupid professors who can’t stop waxing poetic about you. Case in point:
“Professor, may I speak to you?” Sera approaches Professor Puth at the front of his podium once class ends, whiffs of musky marijuana hovering around him like a cloud. You give Sera a confused look, about to ask what she wants to ask before she waves you off, urging you to go ahead.
“I’ll see you next Thursday. I got a tutorial right after this,” Sera lies smoothly, poised grin in place. Not really one to question her, you shrug your shoulders, waving both her and your professor goodbye.
“So,” Professor Puth says, peering at Sera. “Sera, right?”
Sera beams at him. “Yes, Professor. Glad you remember me.”
He hums thoughtfully, tongue jutting out as he appraises her with eyes sharper than any stoned person would have. “Yes, of course. What did you want to talk about?”
“You see, I got my assessment draft back this morning, and it says I got a C+ on it, but I’m sure I followed the rubric very carefully. Are you sure there wasn’t a mistake?” Sera says, not a hitch in her voice despite her outrage slowly starting boil over the edge. She’s never felt so humiliated in her life, having to beg like a dog for a regrade like some sort of pitiful loser.
“You might want to ask the TAs about regrading, in that case. I only graded a few of the works. Which one was yours about?”
“The poem about the withering tree, Professor.”
“Oh, yes. I remember that one. I was the one who graded it,” Professor Puth says, rubbing his chin. He tilts his head. “What did you want to ask about it?”
Sera stares at him, disbelief coloring every inch of her face. “Um, I just said… I wanted to ask – I followed the rubric and everything, so how come my grade was…” she trails off, embarrassed.
Professor Puth tuts, swiveling away to approach his desk. Sera follows, unsure for the first time in her life, as he starts rearranging his things to pack up. “Sera, I can e-mail the rubric to you again, if you want. I assure you, there is one essential part of the grading scheme that you forgot, and I’m afraid that is what cost your grade.”
Sera thinks. “Was it… the formatting?”
He barks out a laugh, slamming his papers down as if what she had just said was the funniest thing he’s heard since a Yo Mama joke. “No, of course not. It was the content! The emotion! You cannot just string highfalutin words together and expect the reader to feel moved.”
Sera flinches, offended. “I think those aspects of poetry are very subjective, Professor. Surely, you could ask for a second opinion–”
“I always ask for second opinions when grading assignments,” he says, wagging a finger. “We all agreed that your work was at least a C+, though I had originally graded it a C- at best.”
Once again, for the first time in her life, Sera is at a loss for words. Never has she been so casually humiliated before, especially after all the time she has put in to being nothing but a stellar student for all her professors. This must be some sort of bad dream.
“On the other hand,” he continues, pausing in his packing to stare at Sera. She does not feel like he is truly looking at her; rather, he looks to be lost in thought about something else entirely. “That friend of yours… Miss Y/N, right? I’ve always heard about her from my colleagues.”
The mention of your name causes the hairs on the back of her neck to bristle, and Sera goes defensive immediately. “What about her?” she cautions.
“Oh, just that she’s a wonderful writer. Very moving stories with lots of depth. I was a bit skeptical at first because Professor Whitney has always been a bit of a softie with freshmen… but she was right,” he nods to himself, a small smirk on his face. “That girl… I don’t doubt in the slightest that she could make someone fall in love with her just by writing them a piece.”
The comparison might have hurt less if he had used a different example, anyone else really. Some unknown sap that Sera could tear piece by piece without a shred of remorse, made easier by the fact that she did not have to know and care for them. You, on the other hand…
It has always been you. She rues the day she met you, when she had thought you were nothing but a meek little puppy to play with, not knowing that you had a hidden dagger behind your back. How foolish of her to let her guard down, and it makes her even angrier to think that you had no idea of the pain you have inadvertently caused her. No, she will make you understand her pain, her struggle. It is only right and just.
All she had to do was wait for an opportunity to strike and until then… It should be easy to keep up this charade. She has done it for more than a year, and she can do it for another ten. She has been doing it all her life, in fact.
When that day comes, she’ll be ready, and there’s nothing you can do but watch as she burns your whole world to the ground.
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penaltybox14 · 5 years
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@dying-redshirt-noises @its-skadi I made this for you.
You get a call, they say.  You get a call sometimes, there's not a damn thing you can do and you know it already.
And sure, is the response.  Sure, we know that.  We've been to blazes eating up a house to its black ribs, we've drawn back, we've stumbled out the door sweating to the unspoiled lawn gasping, at the twenty-minute limit, at the very limit, not sure if the siding sliding down is the heat or the hallucination.
No, they say.  No, you don't, not yet. 
It's Bob's tech, technically speaking, because Craig drove them back (home) just gone midnight and they flopped into (respective) beds not speaking: the report written in Craig's clear precise concise hand with not a mark missed, a routine call, as routine a call as ever, as routine a call as Craig could make it, because that's just what he does.  Bob skirts around chaos like finding your way through a fire: he slides between the panic and the pain like you feel a door in the dark: the heat, the smoke, the rope, the staircase.  Craig imposes order: Craig cages the monster and tames its shining eyes.  
The other paramedics are maddened: they work so well together.  They work together, they drive together, they eat together, they sleep side-by-side together, quick light sleep like a flock of birds changing direction in the sky.
It's Bob's tech and the call says unknown medical and that catches your brain and turns a switch, the key in the ignition, alright, let the bay door rattle, let the lights swing and shine, let's shake a leg and roll, babe, we got no time.  Unknown medical might be a sprained ankle on the staircase or it might be a body in the street, it might be the wrong place wrong time, it might be the last place you wanna be, it might be the end of the world or the beginning.
Even Bob's awake.  Craig wakes up like he's already got a second track running with a locomotive warm and thrumming, flagman says time to go.  (we got no time, though, but to go).  Both him and Craig know their district like the backs of their hands or the palms of their gloves or the smell of the sheets they snap on their beds every morning of every shift.  Bob likes to spend the drive waking up as if he's swimming up from the bottom of a deep blue pool into the waning sun, like driving down a road watching attractions slip past, opportunities waiting.  
Unknown medical, man down, man up, we got this.  
Craig's very-awake voice is running through the possibilities like the computers at HQ crunch the numbers and send them flying.
Bob is nodding, Bob is making time, Bob is stretching out the time between the call and the place and the night and the day like cotton candy on the tongue.
On the lawn just outside the streetlamp's halo a haggard man stands as if he doesn't deserve the light.  He points to the house, where a woman is screaming, a woman screaming and screaming, and the words coalesce between the boards of the board, in the tumblers of the lock, my baby, my baby, my baby.
But baby, we ain't got no time.  
But the baby is blue and cool and her blood is in the backs of her legs and the backs of her arms and her softness is pale and keenly beautiful and she isn't breathing, she hasn't breathed in hours, in too long, in far too long.
One time, Thibeault, a medic at 8's, got mad at Craig's essential honesty and said, you don't care about the people, do you, and said, I bet you'd leave a dead kid on scene, wouldn't you?
Craig had said, simply, he had not yet had such a call.  Thibeault found his proof in Craig's flat expression, in his pushing up of his glasses, in his soft and mild voice.  In Craig's head a thought rattled: a child, a mother, too much time, and not enough, and never.
What would he do?
Well, babe, now's your chance to show the world: the baby in her duckling pajamas with the fuzzy feet is blue as the moon on the tidal flat, and she is cool as cardiac monitor in his sweating hands, and the baby, she isn't, anymore.  And the mother screams and screams: my baby, my baby, save my baby.
It's Bob's tech.  It's their call.  Send an ambulance, right here, right now, do it fast, do it quick, sweep the mother off her feet and swing low and sweep this baby in your arms, send the night supervisor, we need both medics on this call.
There are words you say that mean: we're bringing you no hope, we're bringing you no life, we're bringing you this body so her mother doesn't have to weep over her until the coroner arrives and by then it will be morning and it will be clear that nothing could be done or will be again.
Doc doesn't say, start an IV.  Doc says, keep her on the monitor, Doc says, bring her in.
Fifteen-two, count and breathe and breathe, and count, nevermind the stretcher, never mind the litter bearers only carry her, Bob carries her, compressions with his two fingers, to the ambulance to the rending wail of the mother sending her sorrow to the stars in the smoggy sky, and the father stands smoking a cigarette beyond the light and weeping in an ugly way as men do.
Craig keeps up the compressions while Bob arrays the tools of their trade until a broad hand on his arm and a broad face stays him.
Oh.
But.
" - Bob."
"When we get there," Bob says, softly, his voice sliding the way a boot does on coals.
Rampart's ER is bright as if it hates secrets and fifteen-two is the name of the game, breathe for her, breathe baby, cause baby won't ever breathe again.
Doc calls it, calls the death, calls the time, and it's Early on the overnight, thank god, Early who stays the hand of the pale, pale nursing student who brings the sheet up over the child's face and brings it down to fold it softly down around her neck, to tuck it in sweetly, like she's sleeping.  Like she's only sleeping.  
They said, back in training: you're gonna get a call and there isn't a goddamn thing you can do, and you know it.
And a dozen fireman snorted back we know.
And they said: no, you don't.  Not yet, you don't.
Rampart's ER is too bright to live with the baby's soft cheeks and slowly sinking eyes.  Like the sun inside a box, that's the ER, like daylight trapped eternally, infernally.
Craig checks the box because that is what he does.
Bob falters over the run report because that -
- is what he does?
Craig checks the box slowly.  Says nothing.  The overnight nurse in the ER casts them gentle eyes.  Some of the nurses are starting to trust that Brice has a few compassionate neurons firing in his brilliant, brilliant brain, and the cast them gentle eyes.  Not the pitying look: not, god, Bellingham's gotta work with him?  Not the dry gaze: how long is Brice gonna last with him?
Bob takes a long time filling out the demographics.  Craig has checked the box twice.
Thibeault and Jackson came in with a drunk with a head lac, took one look at the two of them, and thought twice.
Bob sighs a long, long, long sigh, as long the tide itself.
"Fuck it," he says, the weight of the words striking the silence like a brick, "fuck 'em, HQ can live with a late report."
Craig snaps the box closed.  They didn't use anything.  He snaps the box closed and fixes the latch and says: "I'll drive, Bob."
They are well late.  Twenty minutes on, twenty minutes transport, twenty minutes clear that's very clear, that's in the rules, and the walking rulebook ought to know that but he hesitates to pick up the mic, hesitates on the key, starts driving, that isn't what he does and he knows it and Bob knows it and they know the way home but Craig doesn't take it.  
Not the late-night way, not the wrong-way streets way that Bob would've gone, not the let's-get-back-and-crash way.
The scenic route, as Bob would say.  The inefficient way, as Craig would note.
Craig would like to say something sympathetic.  He would like to say something weighty, something remarkable.
Thibeault said to him once: you'd leave a dead kid with his mama crying on scene, you son of a bitch.
She looked like she was sleeping.
Jackson would've said she's gone to Jesus.
Gage would've hit something, he is sure of it.
He tries to think of what DeSoto would say.  Then, he tries to imagine what Bob would say.
He has drawn the squad up along a roadside above the rail terminal.  In the distance, stands of smokestacks wheeze out pale breaths, and blink their aircraft warning lights like animal eyes, red and white and indifferent.  A locomotive hoots softly in the yard, and boxcars and tankers clank, clank, clank over poorly welded rails.  It smells like Los Angeles always does: like smog and asphalt, like low tide and coal.
He takes a breath as jagged as a drunken fool's lacerated face.
And Bob lays a hand on his arm as soft as a baby's cool cheek.
He shuts his eyes.
Bob touches his hand.  He puts his arm - his strange, slender, detached arm - around Bob's wide shoulders, and pulls him close, to feel his head rest, his fraying hair, his stubbled cheek, his gentle hand, his thick bicep that muscles Barrett off the chicken and the chili when Parson cooks.  Bob's body, Bob's imperfect warm and breathing body, and he shuts his eyes and the time passes.
"You gonna tell me it's alright?" Bob says, after a while.
"No, Bob."
"Thanks, babe."
"Anytime."
When Craig opens his eyes the world is still there: it hasn't stopped turning, for the undeserving, for the wicked, for the weary, hasn't put its spin on pause for the wailing mother and the bestilled baby, for the father swallowing his sobs on the lawn while the sprinklers chuff, chuff, chuff and hiss.
A streetlight on the boulevard sputters and dies.
They drive back (home) in silence, remind dispatch that they, too, still exist, and fall to bed without words, with Craig's turnouts folded down neatly and Bob's askew, and Bob will snore heavily into the mattress and Craig will end up with one leg outside the covers and one arm asleep under his pillow.  Because that is what they do and what they know, because it's not alright, because the world keeps spinning, and all that holds it together isn't the light or the smog or the damp lawn or the hot and reeking asphalt, but just that: just each other, what they do, and what they know.
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lovebunnie · 5 years
Note
Do all the asks coward
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1. what does your wallet look like?
-i got it as a present from my uncle for christmas and its really expensive but also so ugly im sorry uncle tom. its like that ‘southern fashion’ bullshit that white MAGA moms wear. but it was better than my old wallet, which looks like this and i got when i was 12:
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2. favorite color?
- baby pinnk
3. do you own a pride flag, or more than one?
-heres the thing: my parents basically know im not straight but i havent told them. my brother has thought i was a lesbian since freshman year, i have a small pride pin on my backpack, ive never been on a date, its complicated. but no, i dont have one. maybe one day, hopefully.
4. describe your favorite outfit
-black pants, platform doc martens, hoodie under a jean jacket, one clip on earring, and holding my crushes hand :]
5. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter, and what’d she do?
-okay so theres this girl in my theatre class who is really cute, and she put her head on my shoulder and shes pagan so she drew a little sigil on my arm that means “safe and homely” so like :)))))))))))))
6. do you use nail polish?
-i do, i mostly do black tho
7. do you keep organized?
-absolutely. i have things online filed accordingly, i pick out my outfits the day before, my binders are neat, i learned how to army fold my shirts, i keep my shit CLEAN
8. ever take naps?
-only accidentally. ill be laying in bed watching youtube and next thing you know my autoplay has me watching a markiplier video even tho i dont like him and its 4 hours later
9. who was your first crush?
-idk if this is a real person or not so ill do both. my first fake person crush was either troy from high school musical or frankie stein from monster high. and my first real crush was on a boy named dominic in elementary school. i told him i liked him at the end of 5th grade because i thought i was switching schools but then i didnt and we never spoke again.
10. what are your crush tendencies? fall hard or often?
-both both both. i am the worst with crushes. i have crushes all the time because im romantic and a fucking fool. i have 3 crushes off the top of my head rn and i like them all for different reasons. thats not to say that i want to date them, but its that i like them a lot and i kinda wanna kiss their cheek or hold their hand idk
11. describe your ideal day
-play overwatch with my best friend (u gonble >:) ) then hang out with my cat, go get a smoothie, buy some cool shoes or something, take a shower and be asleep by 9 :,)
12. describe your ideal date
-i have stated that build a bear is an amazing first date and im NOT BACKING DOWN. ITS CUTE AS FUCK AND ILL ACCEPT NOTHING LESS!!
13. whats your favorite food?
-either sushi or strawberries :3c
14. who do you feel most comfortable around?
-my theatre class, people from camp, and gobble
15. what is your favorite compliment to receive?
-i dont have a favorite, any and all are going to make my face go red so i have to cover it and maybe make me cry
16. did you/do you like highschool?
-the first 3 years fucking sucked but senior year has been amazing so far. mostly because i just kinda stopped giving a fuck but its amazing
17. favorite animal?
-i think its cats now. i really like cats
18. do you like your name?
-eh, its okay. its pretty but also it seems like there are 60 million fucking people named grace and its so annoying. i wish it was something more unique idk
19. what kind of weather is your favorite?
-a light rain. no swinging trees or thunder, just lots of rain. its nice to stay inside and feel secure
20. do you believe in horoscopes?
-absolutely not. but theyre fun if you like them
21. tell us about your music taste
-its horrific. to sum it up, my two favorite musicians are the gorillaz and frank sinatra. take from that what you will
22. have you had your first kiss? if so, what was it like?
-i havent had my first kiss yet. gonna be honest, i felt like i was going to, a few times at camp and recently when classes ended. but yeah, nothing yet
23. did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a kid?
-i went thro cycles of favorites. but one ive had for years is a plush shadow the hedgehog from universal studios i got when i was 6. i used to carry him around, even to a pool once
24. what time do you usually wake up and go to bed?
-if you know me, you know i go to bed ridiculously early. i usually get tried at around 6pm and fall asleep between 7:45 and 8:30. and i always wake up before 6 am. i havent slept past 6 am continuously since the end of junior year. please help me
25. what dream trip would you take with your wife?
-maybe to go explore new york, just the two of us that sounds like fun :]
26. do you have any pets?
-i have 2 dogs and a cat. the family owns the dogs but that cat is mine
27. what pair of underwear is your favorite?
-uhhhhhhhhhhh i have some with rainbows that are cool? i dont have favorites, none of them are cute anyway
28. what makes you smile?
-funny jokes make me smile real hard, and if you compliment me at the right time, i kind of pull my legs up and hide my face? its cute and charming i promise
29. what makes you feel heavy?
-in both the physical and metaphorical sense, eating bread
30. what makes you feel better?
-watching bo burnham always makes me feel better, hes my go to whenever im really depressed
31. how do you show your love?
-i show my love in everything i do. everything i do is for love, i love love so much its sickening
32. when is it time to get a haircut?
-whenever u want to lol?
33. where would you live if you could live anywhere?
-maybe san francisco, its beautiful and i love the city
34. do your friends and family take good care of you?
-as much as i allow them to. sometimes i go days without communicating and i know thats annoying but my friends put up with it (they shouldnt have to, i know) and my family is okay. its cliche to say, but they honestly dont understand what im going thro alot of the times, esp with my anxiety and shit
35. have you always used the labels you use now?
-back in the beginning of highschool, i used they/them pronouns and identified as asexual/aromantic. eventually, it didnt feel right, so i know identify as cis and bisexual and that feels right to me
36. what makes you laugh?
-my friends, when people shit talk gobble and i in overwatch even tho???? we didnt know him?????? and the mcelroys always get me
37. who is your favorite fictional character?
-too many options, see list here
38. who do yo admire?
-my father when hes not threatening to throw my phone into a fucking lake and my friends for putting up with me
39. describe yourself in three words
-i am baby
40. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 
-usually about 45 min, more or less as each day goes
41. what do you wish you could tell your younger self?
-listen: STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN, BE YOURSELF. STOP HIDING AND BEING SCARED OF YOURSELF, BE GENUINE!!!!
42. what would you do if you win the lottery?
-get my parents settled, see about other family members, and then distribute the money to charities accordingly, starting with flint and getting them water
43. would you call yourself a romantic?
-yes
44. what is your gayest childhood memory?
-my mom had cosmos magazines
45. do you have tattoos or want any?
-i dont have any tattoos but ive been obsessed with them since the 6th grade. id love to get tattoos, i just dont know what or where and also im afraid of pain
46. whats your worst habit?
-either biting my thumbs, starving myself, or ghosting my friends. prob ghosting my friends
47. what are you proud of?
-i guess coming out of my shell finally? idk, i actually have friends now and it feels amazing tbh. im in 5 group chats now. i havent been in a group chat since 6th grade. :))))))
48. did you know that youre actually a gift to the world, for real?
-hi i love you?
49. whats your favorite memory?
-there are so so many. but what comes to mind first is our dance night at camp where we all stood outside and i finally gave ian my tumblr and we all ran inside to dance to mr. brightside then ran outside again and we requested nightcore and rivers was fucking dancing their hearts out and we all sang along and im going to crying just typing this out
50. do you have a sweet tooth?
-i guess so. too much makes me feel like shit but i do really enjoy smarties
51. what do you like most about yourself?
-this is dumb, but my sense of style. since i got a job ive been wearing shit i actually like and its amazing. ill admit i have cool clothes
52. what makes you fall for a girl?
-besides acknowledging me, probably getting to know me and not like, putting me on a pedestal. idk its weird, ive met a lot of people this year who like to place me so high it feels like i cant make a mistake around them without disappointing them. idk, i want someone to call me out on my bullshit instead of assuring me im okay. i want to know what i do wrong so i can fix it
53. make a recommendation
-for what? uhh okay for music, listen to ‘clay pigeons’ by michael cera (yes i know michael cera) and for television, watch bojack horseman and for movies, watch the docuseries called ‘7 days out’ on netflix
54. have you ever had your heart broken?
-yeah, when i broke up with maddy because we werent ready to date. i cared and continue to care about her and i didnt want to hurt her but i knew its what we both needed. its what i needed, atleast. and i cant be a good girlfriend if i feel like im doing badly. but also ive had friends break my heart and family break my heart. but im okay now, this heart is ready to be broken again
55. when do you feel most yourself?
-def when i was at camp, that place is magical in the way it allows you to be yourself. but also when i talk to gobble because hes my best friend and when im at college, we can talk more and its gonna be dope as shit
56. name a gorgeous celeb
-jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal 
57. what are some of your favorite songs this week?
-fake happy by paramore, im not okay (i promise) by my chemical romance, tomorrow comes today by gorillaz
58. tell us 2 or your biggest hopes and fears
-biggest hopes: i publish a book someday & i get a job doing something i love
-biggest fears: i end up homeless and broke & something horrific happens in college
59. what flavor chapstick/lipbalm is the best?
-raspberry i guess
60. are you okay?
-i answered a lot more honestly then i shouldve for some of these and i start new classes tomorrow so im feeling really anxious so im doing alright i guess.
gobble you test me but i do love you
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takebitchi · 2 years
Note
He nods, taking a few slow steps over to you and leaning over to kiss the top of your head, gently cradling it against his chest. Yeah, mama. More then okay. Call for me if you want me, alright? He kisses you again, lips lingering in your hair, I love you. So much.
-☕️
i love you too, sho. i say, kissing his cheek sweetly before breaking away from him and retreating to the bathroom.
as i peel away my clothing, i stand in the little room and look at my bare body in the mirror, covered in markings new and old over the past few days. as much as i love them, i cant help but look at them differently after our trip to the doctor’s. i place my hand over my tummy, making a silent promise to bean that i’m gonna take the best care of them over these next 8 months
i take my time in the shower, methodically cleaning my body and thinking about what the doctor told us. its hard for me not to blame myself for being so careless, not putting the baby at the forefront of my priorities and instead just letting shouta fuck me as hard as he could. for a moment, i’m worried that i’ll mess up later, or forget something important and impact bean’s health and well being.
no added stress, physically, mentally, or emotionally, he said. how the hell am i not supposed to be stressed, especially when my husband is a pro hero?
before i know it, im curled up on the shower floor, hugging my knees to my chest and crying. ive been so damn overwhelmed with everything over the past couple hours, and its all coming out in loud, ugly sobs. sho baby..! come here please..!
0 notes
justintimbershit · 7 years
Note
1-99
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?XO - John Mayer Cabaret - Justin Timberlake Lights On - Shawn Mendes Bad Habit - The KooksHow Would You Feel - Ed Sheeran You’re Gonna Llive Forever in Me - John Mayer
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?literally John Mayer so I can ask him why the FUCK he played XO in Chicago and why that was only the 10th time ever and first and only time of TSFE tour he played it
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.“Mom’s stumped us. We had absolutely no idea who she’d dredge” (I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson)
4: What do you think about most?how terrible life is and then how much i wanna die tbh
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?“Jena should i get dropped off at your house then we can go get joe & julie?” IOWA TOMORROW FOR ED :DDDD
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?always w shirt but no pants lol
7: What’s your strangest talent?hating life as much as i do idk i have no talent
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)girls r hot n nice boys r hot n mean
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?yeah bc we were in love lol :(
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? idk i usually dont
11: Do you have any strange phobias?feet, being alone but also being in large crowds, idk theyre not very weird
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?no?
13: What’s your religion?idk man none atm prob
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?looking forward to going inside. but working and therefore reading.
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?behind bc i am ugly lol
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?um probably panic at the disco but then also the killers
17: What was the last lie you told?“its fine” bc no it is not fine i wanna fight
18: Do you believe in karma?ya i think so. maybe
19: What does your URL mean?i like Justin Timberlake and also swearing
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?weakness is probably just who i am as a person and strength is idk i dont have any
21: Who is your celebrity crush?lmao. you say this like i have one. i have many. like thousands.
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?nope
23: How do you vent your anger?talk to someone usually
24: Do you have a collection of anything?movie/concert/sporting event tickets and also empty gatorade bottles on my floor
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?phone bc im ugly
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?eh. better than what i was but could be better
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?hate is my sisters voice lol love is john mayers voice bc he sounds like a fuckin angel
28: What’s your biggest “what if”?what if i was someone else but not really someone else just like what if i was me with a better life or a differnt life in which things didnt always go so terribly for me ya know
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?ghosts maybe but aliens def
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.right arm some paper hanging off my nightstand and left nothing
31: Smell the air. What do you smell?the faint scent of clean laundry and lotion
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?hm.. great question. i feel like ive been to some pretty bad places but i cant recall any???
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?ive never been to either but east coast i think
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?justin timberlake bc hes one of the most attractive men in the entire world
35: To you, what is the meaning of life?bein happy, doin what you want, livin
36: Define Art.something someone creates
37: Do you believe in luck?yes i do
38: What’s the weather like right now?humid i think
39: What time is it?9:41 pm
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?nope to both
41: What was the last book you read?i recently finished “The Upside of Unrequited” and now im workin on “More Than This”
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?no i hate it it makes me nauseous
43: Do you have any nicknames?jules
44: What was the last film you saw?o fuck um fist fight maybe?
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?the sunburn i got in florida was terrible bc i couldnt walk for a day so im gonnna say that
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?no :(
47: Do you have any obsessions right now?brandon saad being a chicago blackhawk again, tommy la stella, john mayer, reading gay books
48: What’s your sexual orientation?bi
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?uuuuum possibly ??? idk
50: Do you believe in magic?nah but also maybe
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?in my mind yes but most of the times my actions dont reflect that especially if its been a while
52: What is your astrological sign?sagittarius
53: Do you save money or spend it?both. i allow myself to spend it as long as i still have a decent amount saved
54: What’s the last thing you purchased?lunch at panera lol
55: Love or lust?neither bc they both suck when ur alone
56: In a relationship?no lol
57: How many relationships have you had?zero
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?nope i am not talented like that
59: Where were you yesterday?yesterday. i think i stayed home all day then me mary and joe hung out and went to get milkshakes at steak n shake
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?the inside of the bra bra sitting waiting to be put away lol
61: Are you wearing socks right now?indeed
62: What’s your favourite animal?sloths my fav
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?i dont have one bc if i did ppl would like me, tf
64: Where is your best friend?at home id assume
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.whats tumblr
66: What is your heritage?im italian but i was born here and so were my parents
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?watching an episode of Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia before i showered
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?satan satan
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?yeah lmao who hasnt tho
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?i think so sometimes but other times im the worst person ever idk how i have friends
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?fuck u boss i love dogs and if u hate dogs that much as to not understand the situation i dont wanna work for a dog hater. asshole.
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?a. maybe probably b. everything ive never done but wanted to c. probably
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.fuck. um. shit. id say love but then u cant trust the person you love so like… but at the same time i love love so much i feel like id die w/o it n ya know i dont trust anyone anyways so im gonna say love
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?srsly…..Bye Bye Bye by *NSYNC bc i cant be sad listening to that song lolol
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?9077
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?communication n openness
77: How can I win your heart?just be nice to me lol i have low standards
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?yes i do believe so
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?buying tickets to see john mayer lol that changed my life so drastically. my life is now pre john mayer and post john mayer. he literally fucking sang xo i will never get over it that will always be the happiest moment of my life im crying while typing this
80: What size shoes do you wear?8 - 9 ½ depending on the shoe
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?‘probably died because she said she wanted to die so often that death got sick of hearing it and killed her.“
82: What is your favourite word?fuck
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.justin timberlake. god im so fucked lol
84: What is a saying you say a lot?'i hate my life’ 'i want to die’ 'u should fight’
85: What’s the last song you listened to?Fools Gold by One Direction lmao
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?turquoise
87: What is your current desktop picture?justin timberlake leaning on a car lookin all hot n shit
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?myself tbh
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?uuuum idk it depends whos askin ya know. id answer certain questions if asked by one peson but not another
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?probably cry and attempt but ultimately fail to go back to sleep
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?flying or teleportation
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?when john mayer played XO at my concert obviously
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?losing all the pictures on my computer bc i keep saying im over it but im really not that was the entire past 4 years of my life in pictures and videos and theyre just gone its bullshit
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?oh man. so many. but if i had to choose one justin timberlake. wow bet no one saw that comin
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?literally fuckin no where im seeing ed sheeran in a matter of hours im not leaving. but if it were a different day lol id say amsterdam or boston
96: Do you have any relatives in jail?not that im aware of
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?when i was a smol child yea h but not recently
98: Ever been on a plane?when i was a child yes
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?um lol idk probably nothing tbh i dont wanna be held responsible for whatever happens afterwards
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drunkenough2write · 4 years
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Sober at 8:58 am
Ive started to numb everything out, push everyone else thats left away. I havent talked to Kaylee in about two months, or the guys in a few days, ive been avoiding anish and Molly and you and i obviously havent talk in a while. I had a moment yesterday i was doing ...something... and i started thinking about you, i let that numb thing go for a minute and i just kept saying “i love you Michael” over and over and i dont know what im doing. i dont know if i want you because im bored with him or because youre the one im supposed to spend the rest of my life with. i dont know if you and i are good for eachother or if we just romanicize the fuck out of eachother to the point weve tricked our minds into believing that we belong together, i dont know if those late nights spent in your arms, or those car rides with our fingers intertwined and the windows down meant nothing or meant everything. ive spent endless hours closing my eyes just so that i can picture your face, i have a hundred pictures of you i cant convince myself to delete. Everything makes me think of you, music and movies and people on social media, i think about what youd do when im scream singing in my car, windows down and crazy hair and music i havent listened too since middleschool, i think about you standing behind me in the shower and laying next to me in bed, i think about you shooting me looks across the isles of grocery stores and gas stations, i think about you picking at your nails and the warts on your fingers while i drive and roll my eyes at you, i think about you when i get high, how you get so paranoid, how you get a look in your eye like youre all alone and the worlds a stimulation trying to break you down and invade your inner thoughts and you look at me and i wonder if you trust me and i just want to wrap you in my arms and kiss your face and let you know that i got you no matter what. I dream about you, your long hair and jaw line, lanky body and strong arms, i dream about you walking in and the rest of the world falling away, you being all that i see and all that i know and nothing else in the world mattering even the smallest bit. Im scared Bugs, im scared of losing you, im scared of losing me, im scared that he will come back and i will pick him and one day ill wake up from yet another Michael dream and think “what the fuck am i doing?” but be so deep into it that theres nothing i can do, and im scared ill pick him and one day he will stop picking me and im scared that i cant love anyone. I spent years being the girl a guy could love, i perfected it, manipulated every boy i met into becoming obsessed with me, tricking their minds to the point i was all they thought about and i never got caught, i played boy after boy perfecting my actions and it worked. Ramon was so invested i didnt even notice, all his friends knew about me, he told them he was falling in love with me and all i thought about at the time was how he had a weird sex face and it didnt feel serious, then there was London, the boy who flirted with me in highschool and told me i was going to marry him and then years later told me i was ugly in highschool, so i convinced him nobody could understand him like i did, i let him be a douche bag, and make every possible stupid mistake he could and told him that he was amazing regardless, i supported all of  his dreams even though i thought they were dumb and far far out of reach all while entertaining others. At the same time i was sleeping with two frat guys in different frats that hated eachother and i made them both believe they were the hottest guys id ever seen and the best lays any girl could have all the while one looked like hed never stepped outside and was not packin and the other had a nice body but a jew nose and lasted like 4 minutes everytime, and they both faded out eventually. Then i reconnected with Reese and unfortunately he had been in the game longer and saw past the face i put on, he reached into my heart and plucked at the parts he knew would give him a safe place and i fell for it. i became his escape from home and work, he would come over at 3 am after work and slip into my bed and play his music and we’d fall asleep and id wake in the morning and leave for class and come back to him leaving, There was one night i was convinced he had real feelings for me. he was hanging with preston and their friend ethan who had moved out of state and came to visit, Preston went to ASU and lived in dorms near mine. They went to a strip club and then got super drunk and went back to prestons room, Reese called me and let me know he was still coming over at about midnight and Preston stole his phone saying he wouldnt make it and i just laughed at them and said id be up for a while if he changed his mind, even though i was so tired i couldve slept for an unholy amount of hours. i got a few snapchats from his snap that preston took of reese’s head in the toilet and figured he wouldnt be coming over, but i stayed up for a little while and then i got a call at 5 am he slurred his words trying to tell me he was coming and that he was lost but escaped Prestons room, Preston and ethan eventually found him and got on the phone trying to figure out where i lived, i told them and came out to meet them, Sophmore year of highschool i had a class with both Reese and Preston but i dont think either of them knew i had existed at the time. when i walked out they all looked at me and Reese looked so sad, red eyes and tears on his cheeks, he almost tripped over his own feet into my arms, i hugged him and looked back at his friends, they told me to take care of him, i smiled and took him back to my room. i put his stuff in the closet and helped him change and he followed me into bed, his arms around me (something he never did) and he cried, told me i was all he cared about, said all these things and passed out and for the first time since meeting him i felt like he wanted me for me, but i was wrong, i was a safe spot, a hidden island where he could get away from the rest of the world and eventually he met someone else. then on new years i got a snapchat from kaylees younger sister asking if it would be okay if she gave my snap to her cousin ransom whom i had only met a few times, i said sure and his first snap said he was gonna make me his. i laughed, i liked when guys were forward, unfortunately that was one of the only things i liked about him, over the next month i played with him, careful not to break him entirely, he tried to get me to take his virginity and him being the mormon cousin to my childhood mormon best friend i knew i couldnt and then one day i got a snap from some guy i met on tinder, his name was Alex Decker, he hyped me up on snap all the time and i was on shrooms so i responded, asked why he was always nice to me he said “why not?” we talked a little and eventually i invited him over we hung with my friends, i got free tickets to a suns game and we all went and we took our first selfie and i didnt pull my tricks, because he wasnt like every other guy that walked my way and stuck their tongue down my throat after talking to me for 15 minutes we hung out probably 7 times before he kissed me, i had convinced myself he was gay or just not interested and let down my gaurd, we were watching Game of Thrones, the Episode where you learn about Horridor and the reason behind his name, and i started crying and he made a joke and i punched his arm out of sadness and he kissed me, it moved pretty fast after that, he asked me to be his girlfriend on Valentines day, 12:04 am - we decided to say it was the 13th instead, didnt want to be cheesy, he brought me roses the next day and we dated for a while, i pushed and pulled every day, pushed him away only to ask him to come back hours later, i was a bad girlfriend, a bad friend, and when i ended things i was more scared of losing his family then him. I went to California for spring break and he spent the night before i left and he found my stash on notebooks and read everything, went through my poetry books and found which ones i dedicated to other boys and other loves and he went crazy, he read every secret and every lie and he told me living in my head was the worst place to live and he sent me pictures of everything that made him mad and he spent 9 hours in my room going through everything and i was so angry i redownloaded tinder, figuring id end things when i got home and then came Remmington. When i got back to Arizona we threw a party at my house and a bunch of people came over, he had written me a letter and got so drunk he let Colden read it to the room, it was horrible, i got obnoxiously drunk and ended up blacking out and then passing out on the bathroom floor and Alex took care of me all night. i was going to therapy at the time and one day on the day before my therapy day i had a huge art project due and had to pull an all nighter after pulling one the night before and he told me he would stay over and help me and we would take shifts and he’d shade stuff while i slept and id do whatever else i needed to do and i said that that was fine, when it was my turn to sleep i fell fast asleep and woke up to him sitting next to me on the bed crying, confused i got up and hugged him and he started rambling about how he couldnt do it and just losing his shit, he wasnt making any sense so i got him water and made him lay down and once he fell asleep i got up and did the rest of my project until 10 am the next day i went to class and then alex gave me a ride to therapy and picked me up after, he took me to my favorite restaurant in arizona and then we went to the batting cages and a few days later i ended things and he still stuck around for a while, even while i was talking to remmington, then i found out about the STD stuff and remington made me feel like trash and got a bunch of his friends to bag on me too. after that i dropped everyone, i didnt care, i took londons virginity and i didnt care about anything else and Molly and i started hanging out more and more and then one day i drove past the gilbert temple and parked in front of a house across the street from the mormon church and a lanky boy in a white sweatshirt and a dad hat hopped in the car with molly and i and i was a total bitch to him until we stopped to eat and he said his dad worked on heavy equipment and molly got distracted and i thought this boy was 20 and he was 17 and my heart swooned. that was the day i met you. You surprised the hell out of me. everytime i talked to you all the games and tricks and all the bullshit id been using stopped existing and i had butterflies and lost words and a smile i couldnt get rid of. and boy was it a whirlwind. and the world started and ended and spiraled and now we are here. wheres here? i have no fucking idea. all i know is that i want someone to see me, see my crazy and my annoying and my insecurities and see everything good and bad and love me, and for the past year ive met 3 boys that do and in my luck ive found so much heartache and so much dissapointment. because M i dont deserve any of you and if i could cut myself in half and give all my love to each of you i would, but i cant. and what do i do when you wake up and realize i was only worth the chase? what happens when its finally us and im not everything you figured i would be? and life isnt everything you thought it would be with me? what then?
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tournesls · 7 years
Text
u probably don't want to read this is just me incoherently rambling on about how I hate school and complaining that life (specifically mine) sucks so maybe don't read
i honestly don’t know how I’m gonna make it through this second trimester. we don’t have semesters in my school or quarters bc we’re k-8 and I’m in 8th and fuck. these are gonna be the worst few months ever. after summer it just gets So Bad. summer is my favorite season GOD I miss her. my skin was clear, I was out doing shit, I was hanging out with my friends, I was pretty healthy and now fucking fall/winter comes and SCHOOL and BASKETBALL and everything goes to shit. I’ve played basketball since 4th grade and this is the first year I’ve been so unmotivated to do it. I love the sport, its the people on my team and the people that aren’t on my team that I hate! the only things Im looking forward to in winter are, my bday which the week after next (yay!), winter break LIKE DEADASS I’m on break rn and I’m anticipating my next one lol, and seeing brockhampton in February, and my best friend’s birthday because we’re gonna do something fun. but my grades are kinda slipping and shit’s becoming harder and I’m going to high school next year, and all my teachers are trying to prepare us and its too fast. my school is oh so special and we get to choose from 5 different high schools, AND MY TOWN IS SO SMALL IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ONE. the closest one is about a half hour away and it’s like the second to shittiest one (which would’ve been our default school) and the other closest IS the shittiest one and then all the good schools (that I’m going to have to go to thanks mum) are at least 40 mins away AND THATS EVERY MORNING AND AFTERNOON FOR FOUR FUCKING YEARS. and its just so scary. like we’re not even 3 whole months into the school year and next week people are visiting the shitty high schools (not me) to see what a day’s like there and if they want to go there and we have to choose a high school by the end of January and none of them feel right for me and I hate my teachers and I hate this program because its hard for a 14 year old to choose things and I wish we could all just go to this shitty school like every one else has FOREVER this just happened to start a few years before now and UGONGLKSNFKLAHNL. like my best friend who’s visiting the shittiest school next week (bc her brother goes there and her mom is practically making her go) got this question list and it said shit like “what do you want to do in your life/future” ass shit like WHAT? WE ARE 13 AND 14 YEAR OLDS WE DON’T FUCKING KNOW. MY MOTHER DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO SHES 34 WHAT THE FUCK. I hate this, I hate adults, I hate that they had the decision to let us make our own decision. I hate that I’m so stupid and this is literally nothing IM SO LUCKY. I HATE NOVEMBER AND DECEMBER AND JANUARY AND FEBRUARY and I don’t really like march or April BUT I LOVE MAY AND JUNE AND JULY AND AUGUST and September and October are ok. I’m gonna post this under a read more because I’m so annoying and this is pointless and I deadass want to kill myself because I wouldn’t have to go through all this shit and my sister got taken away from my dad and the last time I saw her was a moth ago and I miss her so much and her moms a driggie my dads a SHITHEAD and I love my mom and i wish my dad loved me and fuck I’m so annoying like tonight? I WAS SO ANNOYING I was hanging out with my best friend and we just went to Walmart and tj maxx with her mum and I was just annoying and I love them so much they’re like my second family. and theres this kid in my class who has the stupidest name but he’s really nice and nerdy and called me LITTLE BEAR which is an inside joke but everyone thought he as creepy up until 7th grade when my friend got a crush on him. everyone called her weird and he said no to her when my friends asked him out for her and it was sad. now I think he’s kinda cute, my best friend thinks he’s cute and we talk about him a lot and he GOT SO TALL over summer vacation and he’s so weird but I got to know him over last weekend because me him and these 3 girls from my class are in this adventuring group thing with kids from another school and he never talks to us in class but me and two of the girls talked to him a lot and we went bowling and he was so nice and funny and I talk to him in school and I told him to watch stranger things. my best friend read our texts WHICH WAS JUST US TALKING ABOUT TV out loud to her mum and they said he liked me and that was weird because no one likes me and he likes this other girl I know and I’m literally so ugly and fat and gross but I’m trying to learn to love myself more and its been working out quite well. social media has actually been helping a bit (weird right?) but idk how I’m gonna get through school. if I cant get through fucking 8th grade then how am I gonna get through high school? life in general? idk what I want to do? I honestly can’t imagine myself outside of the school ive been going to for the past 7 years. I can’t imagine myself getting past the age of 14. I’m 13. I can’t imagine myself in college and I just recently went on a college campus for the first time and I loved it! but it was so weird, so scary. this 8th grade year is so different because there are so many traditions that get thrown at you because this is the last year you’ll be going to this school in this incredibly small town. theres going to spend a whole week in the woods with your class with no phones, theres fundraising for the class trip WHICH IS GONNA BE IN A FRENCH SPEAKING COUNTRY AND IVE BEEN TAKING FRENCH FOR ALMOST 7 YEARS AND I DONT KNOW SHIT (its in Canada) and theres so much community service and traveling and in band we have to perform for older people and I wish I could write this much for the essay I have due last week. the essay is about something I like and something that motivates me (lgbtq rights in schools and how to stop people bullying lgbtq students) I still can’t write it I just hate school and everything about it. I don’t want to go to basketball practice tomorrow but I have to and if it was just a practice id be fine but we’re scrimmaging and ugh I fucking hate my school SO MUCH and have I said how much I hate myself? because its a fucking lot. time goes by so quick and I just want to go to sleep but then everything will be wasted and everything sucks and Im sososoosososooooo tired and I’m so overdramatic and fucking immature and dumb and I think yes I am gonna post this maybe privately though just so I can read it after this winter and oh that reminds me of Kieveee when we had to write letters to ourselves that we’ll get before we graduate stg. I’m not ready for graduation I know ill cry . ill cry so much because when say I FUCKING HATE THIS SCHOOL I CANT WAIT TO GET OUT I actually mean I love this school its my safe place all my friends are here my classmates, though some are annoying, I love all of you and god I’m not ready to be a “big kid” and I wish I was a little kid again and I love u mr. m and mrs.s  and fuck Idont want to leave
ok goodnight school sucks and my life revolves around it
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krayns · 7 years
Note
All :p
THANKS A! okay ill skip the ones M already asked me!
1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? 
LOLOL, well it was the GC so I would say hey bitches wus good. ACTUALLY. I’D BE LIKE YALL CAN LOOK BUT CANT TOUCH CAUSE YALL BITCHES BE GETTING THE WRONG IDEA, and told yall bout a good million times Im just not interested. Pls take a hint.
2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?
WELL. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, bc he was a lowlife scrub who I do not need in my life at all. Blocked & erased my history 
3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? 
UM…. yes bc I would care about my partner and would want the best for them……. so I wouldnt want them on drugs 24/7
4. Is your last name longer than six letters? 
OMG its exactly 6 letter BISH.
5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? YA GIRL WAS DRUNNNNK IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE 
6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?
OMG NO. Im never the one to mess it up SMH, im the one left to clean up the mess SMFH 
7. What does your last received text say? “Or nahhh” 
8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? 
LMFAO what kind of question. YALL REALLY THINK I SIT THERE AND COUNT EVERYTIME I KISSED MY MAN LIKE LOL?????????  Lets just say I kissed him WAY too many times than he deserved. (V many times tho bc who doesn’t love a good smooch)
9. Where was your last kiss at? 
BRUH. my ex mans house OK NEXT 
10. When is the last time you saw your sister? 
well I have 2, and a few hours ago before they both went to sleep bc they youngins. 
11. What do you drink in the morning?
Ya girl likes her steaming hot cup of TEA in the morning. Gotta have my daily tea. 
12. Where did you sleep last night? 
My mans crib ;) why you care tho?
13. Do you think relationships are hard? LOL. They’re hard if you make em hard. And if you’re partner is stressin you then hell yeah. But I mean no relationship is perfect. Its all about working through those hard times and that honestly makes the relationship stronger. 
14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? 
YES. I would’ve left the trash ass ugly piece of garbage that treated me like shit and used the hell out of me, before I got super attached to him and let him walk all over me. DEFS wish I could’ve left his fuck boy ass long time ago, shouldn’t have let things lasted as long as they did.
15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO. bruh. YOU ARE ASKING FOR A WORLD WAR 3. im crying could you imagine. OH he would be shook. That or he would have the best sex of his life lbr. 
16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?
Sunny when I gotta go out, Rainy when I’m inside/ at night. BC YA GIRL HATES GOING OUT IN THE RAIN. Womans are not tryna look like a wet cat. 
17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? 
Actually yes quite a few, people I knew from school, also I think Selena Gomez? My middle name is kinda basic.
18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?
None of the above ;) 
19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?
PART OF ME: I REALLY HOPE SO bc ya girl a hopeless romantic 
OTHER PART OF ME: HONESTLY IDEK BC MANS ARE SO WHACK THESE DAYS, HARD TO FIND A QUALITY QT, and honestly im doing me these days like mans can wait BYE 
20. Does anyone like you?
Jesus! My boy JC. Dont know if anyone else likes me bc like I clearly can’t read minds so?
21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?
Besides family, no one else is ringing a bell
22. Is the last person you kissed gay? 
Nope
23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?
Currently: My EX, Alicia from AYTO (tv show) (snake ass bitch), 
24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?
Yessss many times. Like theres so many ideas I have. I would probs get one like on my side, back, lower waist, or behind my ear? Either something cute or something with meaning.
25. In the past week have you cried? 
Yes I think I had a moment the other day.
26. What breed was the last dog you saw? 
A cockerspaniel. 
27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?
Depends on my mood. I really like showers tho, preferably with my man 
28. Have you ever kissed a football player?
Not yet ;)
29. Do you think you’re old?
Honestly sometimes I feel old asf
30. Do you like text messaging? 
TBH not really. I prefer having that face to face, talking through text is too much miscommunication. 
31. What type of day are you having? 
A swell day, kinda was in my feels earlier but ya girl got it together. 
32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
YASSSS. I’ve wanted one for a while, but now I’m like do I want one that bad? It would be cute af THO
33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
WARM WARM WARM. No ones tryna freeze their ass off. Ya girls an Island baby 
34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
Jesus Christ. 
35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?
RELATIONSHIPS, FUCK FLINGS ARE JUST NOT FOR ME. I am not meant for that fling life 
36. Are you a simple or complicated person?
Im quite wild tbh when you get to know me
37. What song are you listening to? 
Currently: Straight Up & Down by Bruno Mars 
38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? 
Hellllll YEAH 
39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? 
Yes, I’d say my Moms, Ash, Rach or my sister Tia
40. What made you start liking the person you like now?
OK. WELL…………………………………… dont ask me bout this rn im confused. But I kinda also have feelings for my ex ex man who wasnt really my man but still he is literally like my ideal man and ive been seeing him a few times and im triggered UGH my first uni LOVE FML fuck he has me WEAK ASF
41. When did you last receive a text message? 
A second ago: so 1:55 AM 
42. What is wrong with you right now?
NOT A GAWD DAMN THING BISH. 
no but real talk school out here draining me. ALSO IM V CONFUSED BOUT STUFF. 
43. How well do you know the last female you texted?
YO thats my girl. RIDE OR DIE since 7th grade. I know her like the back of my hand and likewise for me. 
44. Does anyone disgust you? 
HAAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA, you already fucking know the answer. TRASH ASS EX MAN. Also fuck boys just disgust and erk my soul in general. 
45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?
Depends on who’s asking 😏 but hey if I like you, you cute, nice, funny, LOYAL, determined I mean I would probs say yes. ALONG WITH MY OTHER WANTS: smells good, good style, nice hair, kind, TALLLLLL, athletic, 
But hey I mean he don’t have to fit all these categories, im just being extra here 
46. Are you in a good mood right now? 
Currently Yes :D
47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?
My mom
48. What color shirt are you wearing? 
Not wearing a shirt oooooooops 😳
49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? 
YUP. dont wanna repeat bc it was honestly the DOUCHIEST thing I’ve ever heard in my life and it makes me sick to my stomach that this literally came out of a mans PIE HOLE. i cant. 
50. Anyone you’re giving up on?
Already gave up on em. LIKE UP OUT OF MY LIFE. blocked and erased that history 
51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Not really my ex ex man I still kinda like. BC my ex man was not the one that a fell hardest for so nah. IF IT WAS HIM THEN I WOULD. 
52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?
ummmmm noooo????
53. Do you like rain? 
Only when I’m inside, or about to sleep. That Netflix and cuddles possible chill typa weather ya feel 
54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?
Nope, unless the liqs turns them into a monster then yes I would care. 
55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? 
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL😳😳😳 HONEST TO GOD IM EITHER STRAIGHT UP OR SO LOWKEY. Like im TOO GOOD AT THIS. I could be crushin so hard on someone and they would never know bc im too good at hiding it.
56. Do you like to cuddle? 
YES LOOOOOOOOOVE. your girl likes her doses of cuddles. BABS like getting cuddled too ): 
57. Are you shy? 
LOL HONEST YES. IM SO SHY AROUND CUTE BOYS OR LIKE PEOPLE I DONT KNOW. But once I get comfortable with you whoever you are im defs not. YA GIRL WILD AF
58. Do you get along with girls?YASSSSSSSS girl power bitch. LOVE MY GIRLS. Love hyping and empowering up my girls. 
59. Have you dated the person you texted last?
YEA SHE MY BAE :* 
60. What do you carry with you at all times?
STRESS. LOL jks but omg phone, lipgloss (bc you never know if you eva gonna kiss a QT), the normals 
61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?
UM. NO!!!! TF! ARE YOU WHACK. NEVER WOULD YOU EVER CATCH ME IN A JUMBIE INFESTED PLACE. NAH NAH
62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?
YES. OBVI. I’m that long term typa gyal ;) Im that ride or die typa girl
63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? 
LOOOOL. Lets not think back to that time, I already ctrl alt and DELETE. BOI BYE 
64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?
um YES. stop. putting. me. in. my feelS. But lets just say it wouldn’t just end with a kiss on the forehead ;) 
65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? 
Well im cute so……….. everyday something cute happens aka ME :)
66. How old are the last three people you kissed?
21, and the rest were family SO LOL 
67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?   
honestly i can do my own nails, but its nice to treat your self
68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? 
ZEBRA, your girl is a zebra print stan, my whole room is practically this print 
69. Do you have any stickers on your car? 
i dont own a car, but the car I drive has a “princess on board sticker” which is for my little sister but HEY its suitable for me too so 
70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?
Lil Wayne… not about that country/ tim buck two. But tbh I dont listen to either of em 
71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?  
IPHONE 6 GANGGGGGGGGG
72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    
Maybe like last year? Usually get pizza pizza
73. Do you like diet soda?   
NAH, diet taste kinda weird 
74. What color are the walls in your room?    
Its like an olive green, but I want to re paint, maybe a shade of pink 
75. Are you 16 or older?    
older…. why you tryna holla?
76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?  
I did…. show got mad boring tho. 
77. Do you have a job?   
Not currently, in school tho
78. What are your initials?   
K.M.B BITCHHHHHHHEEEZ
79. Did you ever have braces? 
nope, but the dentist always ask me if i had braces and always say how nice my teeth are :D
80. Are you from the south?  
NAH NAH, IM NORTH JAX FAM
81. What does your last status on facebook say?  
um???? I think I promo’ed Ash’s travel VLOG, check that shit out tho!!!!!!!
82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? 
CRTL.ALT.DELTE. 
NO BISH
83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? 
I would say my dad bc I grew up with him? but i tell my mom and step mom more personal stuff/ everything so
85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? 
I think it was suicide squad.
86. Do you smoke?    
Nah, not on those greens fam
87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?  
DEPENDS. On location and look. 
88. Is your phone touch screen?    
YUP
89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? 
Well my hair is wavy and I usually just leave it natural. I love straightening my hair but takes way too much strength and energy out of me.
90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?  LMFAO YES. TO GO TO SLEEPOVER AT ONE OF MY MANS HOUSE IM CRYING @GOD forgive me father 
91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? 
DEFS POOL OR OCEAN LOL BOUT LAKE OR RIVER BYE 
94. Are you single or in a relationship?   
Doing me. Living life. Doing whatever the hell I want. I am happy and thats all that matters. Not letting mans bring me down, have me stressing, crying myself to sleep, or crying until i have no more tears to cry
95. What were you doing last night at midnight?  
Texting my squad in the GC, talking about waste mans 
96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?  
Fireworks in my heart: probably in the summer on my first date with trash 
97. Do you like the camera on your phone?   
YES bc I stay taking cute pics, im obsessed with taking fire pics
99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    
NOPE. Always know my limit
100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Hate is a v strong word. I think if anyone I really disliked I’ve removed, I may have some fakes from like HS but thats about it.
102. Name your favorite Kesha song:   PROBABLY TICK TOK, YO MY GRADE 7 ASS WOULD WHINE UP TO THIS SONG, MAJOR TRACK 
103. Do you have any tan lines right now?  noPE, but honestly i wish I did bc I wanna go somewhere warm 
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