#its that the school didnt even check

[beeduoo]

wonderful

#there is a ranboo that goes withthis but i didn't like how he was looking imma restart from scratch tmrw😭😭 #ctubbo #michael beloved #ctubbo fanart #Guys you have no idea what i went through today like it wa fucking crazy i need to share this #so i went to the mall after school right and im going home at like 8 on the train with my friend bc i was supposed to be picked up ay her #stop right but then im told to just go to my stop and take the bus and im like ok sure but the problem is my phone is on SEVEN PERCENT and w #hen i get to the stop my moms like u have money for the bus right and im like ueah and i check and i have NO MONEY #BUT I DIDNT TELL HER ANUTHING BC I DIDNT WANT HER TI GET MAD BC I KNEW SHE WOUDKNT WANT ME TO WALK ALL THE WAY HOME AT NIGHT (FOURTY BLOCKS #So im like ok im getting on the bus now my phone is on four percent i have to WALK HOME allll that way and there's this crazy ass upward hi #ll that's like ten blocks long ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD but like my mom thinks im on the bus so im trying to speed walk as fast as i can and i #RAWDOGGED it too because MU PHONE WAS GOING TO IDE!!!! #I made it home at two percent U guys i was so proud of myself thank u for listening #IM SO MAD IT WOUKDVE BEEN OKAY IF I WASNT IN A RUSH And also if i had music uggghhh Whatever #I bought this really cute skirt at garage hold on let me find it #lexi pleated skort color Navy blue ITS SOOOO CUTE got some new leg warmers too yesss.... #I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSIT APP i woukdve been able to attach my apple pay and buy the stupid ticket if my phonewasnnt #too dead to do al that... #Guys always make sure u carry cash with yiu goodbye

[the-trans-dragon]

Y'know it was REALLY goddamn evil and nefarious that the oil fields gave my mom (a single mom working 3 jobs to raise 2 kids) a single $5,000 check in exchange for her signing a nondisclosure to never complain about them.

Of course we fucking took the money. Even with her working 1 full-time job and 2 part-time jobs, she barely made over $1,000 a month. Of course she took the money. We though about moving but we still couldn't afford it. She was so frugal with it, though. It did give us a sliver of financial security for years.

But goddamn. $5,000 is table scraps to them, and they bought her silence with it because she couldn't refuse the chance to slightly lessen the weight of poverty on her family.

#sorenhoots #i remember i was like 11 or something. she didnt know if she should sign it. and its not like we had or knew any lawyers. she had ME read it #over and even i was like “this is a nondisclosure and it means you cant ever talk about anything they do even if they do something terrible” #i recall being very proud of myself for knowing what a NDA was. lord knows where my middle-school self learned that from. she did eventually #have a lawyer of some sort look over it and they said the same thing but.... $5000 #it wasnt an option for her. that was more money than wed ever had or saved. she had two kids who would need cars bc we lived so far in the #country. she knew i wanted to go to college. i dont think i ever saw her buy herself clothes before then either. it was money for emergencys #and necessities and birthday presents and road trips and... i often wondered about the person who offered us that. i wondered where they #lived and wondered how much their clothes costed and wondered if their kids got to have art or piano lessons. i wondered if their home was #over 80 degrees in the summer and under 60 in the winter and if they lived in a house that wasnt filled with dangerous spiders (we had nice #spiders too but we did also have Very Dangerous Spiders) and id picture him in his office in a button up and slacks and it would break my #heart that my mom couldnt have all of that. we just had a $5000 check and a vow to not complain. #she still feels earthquakes from it. less nowdays but still. and sometimee it still smells like a jar of hot petroleum jelly. and the attic #smell is worse than ever and the tap water smells like sulfur and wet mold #goddamn what the fuck? jesus christ. she should move.

[ruffgem]

group work is Not It. I should have known better than to enroll in an engagement course that involves planning workshops with a group of other students……. guess who is doing all the work! :^) Back in tha day my teachers called me a ‘natural leader’… fun fact!!!! I am actually not! I do not like being in charge! it is actually just that people take advantage of me! Hope this helps

#God. I wanted to take the class so bad bc it’s about the history of art in prison systems #and it involves a weekly art workshop in a prison #the group that runs it is pretty blatantly abolitionist and partially run by formerly incarcerated ppl #so it’s made pretty clear that we're not ‘teaching’ art bc thats weird and enforcing a hierarchy if ur a 'teacher' #its more like a way to get materials inside and basically hang out with and make art alongside incarcerated ppl #under the guise of ‘volunteering’ as the dept of corrections labels it #anyway that’s all off topic but basically I am doing all the fucking work lmao we’re supposed to go in for the first time tomorrow and #my group members suck shit at communicating and the person who’s supposed to drive is like radio silent whenever I ask #where we should meet and shit #FUCK!!! I hate logistical shit like this #its taken us a million years to get cleared by the system (on purpose i stg) so its literally midterm time and we havent gotten in yet #i swear if our first one gets jeopardized by this girl who refuses to check her damn texts or emails or even come to class im gonna be so #pissed. lmfao #goddddd this is giving me flashbacks to when i took the class where we were supposed to do workshops at an elementary school #different vibe because in that scenario it was definitely supposed to be educational and we lowkey were 'teachers' #but my classmates also didnt do shit and i also ended up doing literally everything #WHY TAKE A CLASS LIKE THIS IF U DONT WANNA DO IT LIKE SERIOUS QUESTION #maybe they just want to put it on their resume LOL #they need a vetting process for this class i stg like interview these bitches before they enroll #cuz some of these people fr do not care

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

everyday i get closer and closer to writing wholesome fluffy gerbert rpf entirely out of spite for the bert villianizers who turned me away from listening to the used for years

#every day i feel the need to apologize to bert mccracken for just. blindly taking fanfic depections of hom as fact #in my defense i was in middle school and i had never heard of the used to i didnt realize he was a real person for a WHILE #and then once i figured out he was real i literally knew nothing abt him aside from what was in fics and they all treated him the same way #so i just assumed there was some fact behind it ig?? 😭 #and then as i got older it just sort of clicked that Oh Yeah all of this shit us Made Up and maybe i should Fact Check This #and now the used is one of my favorite bands and i love bert so much and i am still so fucking angry that everyone fucking treated him like #shit for absolutely no reason they just. needed a villan? #actually no ik the reason is bc he fucking struggled with addiction and people love to villianize addicts #especially bc hes seen as more masculine than gerard so even tho gerard struggled with addiction too HES not the villian bc hes too SWEET #and PURE and SOFT #but bert's seen as more masc and tough and loud so OBVIOUSLY that makes him a violent and abusive addict bc ppl love to equate masculinity #with 'strength' and violence and i could absolutely write a whole fucking paper on this topic if i had time to organize my thoughts #and idk if im even articulating this well rn but yeah. it makes me so fucking angry and disappointed and maybe its a stupid solution but i #know there are still SO many fics out where that do this shit and ik its still fucking with ppls perceptions of bert bc ive seen it!!! #ive seen ppl talk shit abt him and they dont even know *why* theyre talking shit #they just think hes an asshole bc of bullshit theyve heard/read and im sick of it!!!! im gonna write a novel where hes the hero just to #spite you fucks!!!! fuck!

[jorvikzelda]

me to one of my friends: yeah i told my two main professors atm about my migraines because it felt important that they knew, and they were both really understanding and apparently both had migraines in the past!

her: wow yea thats so nice!

me: yea :)

her: so nice to know it can get better!

me, before processing: yea it really is nice that theyre so understanding and willing to accommodate me!

me, now having processed: wait what

#i am So in the moment that i dont even really consider things like. long term #which i think is a fair outlook right now. but my friend does also have a really good point #however. it is also So painfully obviously the perspective of someone whos never faced chronic illness #very kind and I like her very much. But also #Person who goes 😟😟😟😟😟😟 when youre casually like yeah ive been tired for five years and have a headache 24/7 #She was like. I have a headache when I’m doing REALLY BADLY and even then it’s just like a little bit #And I was like. ??????? That’s the normal?? #And then ofc i remember my life before i got migraines and its like. Yeah #I’m a weird one I got those late onset migraines #didnt have them before high school really #Which checks out because theyre REALLY energy related and thats when i started sleeping too little and doing too much #and then theyve only gotten progressively worse! #anyway. i shoud Eep #z talks

[slugandthorn]

Annoyed in a very normal way that his portrait from school is the same length as his hair during the game. Don't worry about what's in the tags I'm sure it's a normal amount of text.

#.txt #BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING ELSE. The long hair is clearly better. i am happy to have the original image over my stupid phone edit. #im fact checking something kn the wiki and apparebtly in the manga he has a turtle neck instead of a dress shirt. gagging #i feel insane for this i cant find an answer. when he killed kens mom he was a freshman it was two years before the beginning if the game. #like. MAYBE he finishes that year. he didnt attend a second year right??? #so assuming he actually gets to live. and he goes back to school. hed have to restart there. and at the point junpei and the bunch would #be his upperclassmen and THERES NO WAY he would be able to deal with that. hes getting his japanese equivalent GED. #that was actually a side tangent because. well. anyway. #the MAIN point of the post: how only knowing characters from fiction AFTER a life changing event that has probably caused #a major personality shift and seeing that in his character design. #i feel like this applies. to a lot of my guys. but i feel like its also exacerbated in this case because akihiko and mitsuru knew him before #and we have no idea who that person was HES NOT IN THE FUCKING FLASH BACK AUURGHH. MAKE THE SPRITE. #this is sickening for shinji. given how sweet he is. whilst slowly killing himself. theyre so funny for that. #also design nitpicking. the pale skin obviously. also a controversial thing. i do like him having darker hair in p3d. #even if it was probably done to distinguish him from akechi. light brown hair doesnt suit him as well. imo. the only guy who thinks about it #p3d bias because they gave us the canonical beach outfit we never got and i just want him to have more outfits so bad. #im sorry im not a peacoat fan. ill allow the heels. #CAN I SAY HOW MAD I AM HIS FUNERAL PICTURE IS HIS FUCKING SPRITE. AND NOT LIKE AN ACTUAL SCHOOL PICTURE. JUST GIVE. AN ARTIST A DAY TO EDIT #im watching the funeral now <3 mistake. #insane the school held a funeral for a student who hadnt attended in almost two years. #top ten junpei moments though. #WHY ARE THEY AT SCHOOL THERES NO WAY THEY SLEPT. #mitsuru misses her fucking FRIENDD 😭 #i wont be addressing All That Shit the akihiko goes through. know it also makes me 🛀 #alright. repressed emotions expressed. back to doing stuff.

[iscariotapologist]

to be quite honest i'm not entirely over having my teenage body scrutinized and deemed overly scandalous and inappropriate at various times by insane staff and faculty in evangelical high school for existing in leggings or a dress. just things i'm thinking upon and getting enraged over this nye. imagine having a normal body image

#couldn't wear leggings or tight pants in the cult school and once was pulled aside by a male teacher who told me my shirt was too low #(the shirt had literally been given to me by the dorm dean) full offense but i hope he dies painfully #and then at the next (liberal by adventist standards) school had dress check every fri night and sat morning to go to mandatory church #in last two years had a fully evil head dean who pulled me aside on my way to sunday breakfast to look at my ass and tell me no one wanted #to see that and when we had (also mandatory) 'banquets' instead of prom she told me at the (mandatory) dress precheck that the dress i #borrowed was too tight around the armpits (?) and i needed to fix it (i just hiked it up higher when i had to walk past her to leave and #she didnt notice) i dont even remember what kind of dress it was #this woman was so cartoonishly evil. people whose skin i would rip off and burn in front of them #also if i were skinny u know none of these evil motherfuckers would have looked twice #i literally will never be able to afford enough therapy to fix the damage these people + my mother did to my self image....anyway #oh plus purity culture..........wow its crazy how my eating habits are abnormal idk why #i hate adventists sm #wait im not done. this woman also put up a sign on the front doors of the dorm about how us girls have to 'protect the men of our campus' #by not wearing leggings etc. die in a fire. ok im done #me #ed tw #(?) just in case #ex sda

[haunted-xander]

I'm so tired and I want to sleep but I can't because my brain has decided to remind me of every single bad thing to happen in my life ever

#(dont read the tags if you dont wanna see some examples) #realizing my granma is verbally abusive by her telling me ill die alone and unloved simply bc i didnt want to talk to her? #check! #almost losing my best friend to suicise? #being bullied in 2 out of three schools ive been to where the teachers did fuck all to help? #being overstimulated to the point of crying & neglected by a 'special needs class' that completely failed me in every aspect? #check!! #my special aids teacher (or wtv its called) telling me to go back to math class after a meeting with the school and my FUCKING THERAPIST #SPECIFICALLY ABOUT HOW STRESSFUL AND BAD FOR ME SEVERAL OF THE CLASSES ARE #PARTICULARLY MATH #i didnt even know she was supposed to aid me with anything! #i only ever saw her in a few classes #ya know #THE ONES SHE TEACHES #ugh #listen my life is hardly the worst #im fortunate in many aspects and im not gonna claim i have some big traumas or anything like that #but my life really sucks sometimes #even right now my life is almost completely stagnant #i havent been able to attend school for two fucking years and i quite literally only have consistent social interactions with my family #ya know. the people i live with. and who i see everyday. #my best friend of like fucking #7 years or something #ended our friendship months ago (amicably but still) #leaving my completely alone #ugh. sorry my heads a mess and im so so so tired. of everything. i just want to sleep and have my brain shut tf up #vent #personal

[berryblu-soda]

bite bite bite bite bite bite

#aghhh yall im so sick of my school #they still havent let me in to see the courses #its bEEN 2 ENTIRE WEEKS #AGHHHH #PLEASE I JUST WANT TO STUDY!!!! #ive been sending several emails daily bc ive had issues every step of the way #couldnt register bc the courses didnt appear #had to contact a teacher to do that #then they never showed up on the platform #so i had to contact other people to hopefully get that solved #they reply once every 2 days if im lucky (i am not lucky) #they asked for proof that i had paid even tho the pay limit wasnt there yet #couldnt pay online bc the platform is messed up #had to go to an oxxo then dend them a photo; they havent replied #its been 2 days #then i check and the platform doesnt even say i paid!!!! it just says not paid!!! hhhhhhhh #so i had to send *another* email #i asked the teachers for the class work and only one of em replied #i ask my classmates and theyre all too busy with other administration bullshit to help!!! #aghhhhhhhhh #this is my villain origin story btw <3 #shut up sheo

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sometimes u just gotta have a cringe fail weekend. is what i tell myself bc i let the fact that i forgot to check my new #email completely obliterate me. also i haven't been sleeping enough. also just the normal thoughts in my head #by which i mean the part of my brain that demands consequences for inattention by means of suffering. devine punishment. #which is irrational and annoying but knowing that doesnt seem to help. so ive just been laying here in the hopes i come unspooled and start #to disintegrate. which is annoying bc ive got stuff to do #specifically bc i am supposed to b a TA this semester. which is what i figured but also feared #so. thats gonna b a lot. tho not as much as my old school bc they dont make TAs do literally everything here apparently #but. itll b a lot. and also i have to finish signing up for classes. bc i didnt do that back in April by my brain was melting. also i have #to keep doing my job and dealing with my data. ugh. well. being a TA isnt so bad. i do like to help ppl learn even if im not very good at it #like. i struggle with thr talking to ppl part. like the transition of ny thoughts to something thst makes sense #oh well. hope i end up teaching something im not too unqualified for. i could do soils. Ecology. uhhh. maybe intro bio but i never even took #university level biology. i just skipped upper level courses. that's probably it. anything else would b a lotta faking it #ugh. im tired. i should go to sleep at 9pm. thr sun hasbt even set and i should sleep #tomorrow i have to get my shit together. but also i wanna email my new professor like hey bro like what do u want me to do??? #like how do i start in this lab? when do we start talking. like just not to b pushy but whats thr procedure? #i like Structure but also its like weeks until the semester starts so we got time. im just a lil nuts #jesus. its gonna b an interesting semester. hopefully fun but uh it is sorta like taking a boat out when u can see big ominous clouds #like im sure ill b fine but also i might get dumped over into a watery grave. i just. i have a lot of papers to write #and its gonna b hard to b a student on top of that. partly bc what im gonna b doing now is almost completely unrelated #which is probably y ppl stick to the same track they stsrt on. that awkward moment when ppl ask u if ur gonna keep working with bi0crust #and ur like uhhhh no fuck that actually the work ive done in the past 4 years makes me hate myself✌️ #so we r back at square 1. well not 1 bc its sorta related but its a pretty big reset #itll b fine once things start. its just thr anticipation that kills me #unrelated

[nerdie-faerie]

Me: okay maybe I should finally dig out my wall calendar as I'm having trouble keeping track of extended family's birthdays

Me, while redoing said calendar because it's messy: why are there so many birthdays in may and july? it's just considerate

#Demon Spawn #+Extra #theres too many fcking family members and i kept forgetting where id put and to check the diary my mum had filled out with extended family #birthdays but there are birthdays missing from that! she just completely decided against putting any of my dads family but put my aunts #fiancé down as my uncle which um excuse me hes not my uncle until marriage and the guy that was my uncle has also been snubbed cus of the #divorce! theres family politics going down in my diary. my cousin on my dads sides birthday isnt in there and my mum is always late with #birthdays so shell only tell me after its passed which is not helpful. my mum has also had another child since she filled out so she needed #to be added but her birthday is the same month but a couple of days before another siblings so it wouldnt have been chronologically correct #to just add her but my may box is very full. its very stressful to look at theres no need for that many people to be born in may and july #i have a real problem with remembering things that are written down but i cant see. like we had to have a homework journal for school and #i always forgot when i had homework..... because i would forget to check my journal.... my teachers would be like didnt you write it down? #and even when it was written down it didnt help i need to be unable to avoid seeing it it just needs to be out in the open always visible #anyway i was gonna finally put my photos up instead i wrote up my deadlines to put on my notice board and finally filled out ny organisers #which i unpacked in December buried on my shelf and then promptly forgot about because i didnt want to clean off the old whiteboard pen 🙃 #im so useless i want a new brain #at least its done now. better late than never and constantly suffering for it

[devilfruitdyke]

something i do when im really going through it is dress like a pretty girl and go to the mall

#was going to post this before i left to do that but it didnt go through #anyway fit check. flowy pants knockoff b.randy m.elville top platform sneakers and earrings that look like paint #and. a thrifted designer vest i found on the way #i didnt even buy anything new i just thrifted a lot #sometimes i put barriers up im like. are you really going to buy that little anime merch thingy you dont Need it #bro its 2 bucks are you a cop #anyway i will probably aquire my merch thingy (acrylic charm) next time when the mall isnt crowded #edit: also dw im not particularly going through it its just school👍

[fuckingarataswespeak]

.

#my mom didnt book my parent teacher meetings #they are on monday #im literally going to never have another one of these and ive literally no t had a parent show up to them in my memory ever #like i specifially told her how important it was to me #and she forgot and i know there are reason why she forgot #i know that shes got long covid and adhd #but that doesnt change the fact this was my last chance to feel like a normal student #im on my own #its always back to this #its like i dont even have a full parent only a fraction of one #im just always forgotten #she did this with her other kids whats the point in remembering #she knows nothing about my life in school she remembers nothings that i tell her #and i had a lot of trauma happen in school these last two years and i just wanted to feel like someone was actually checking in on me #but im always forgotten #i was given up with from the get go #i feel like i am the only one whos looking out for me

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

scared for when my parents find out ive spent nearly all of the $2000 given to me by the mvscogee nation/government for getting my vaccines in under a year...

#meows #mostly bc my mom was saying they were gonna help me buy a printer for my gmas house but between my brother totaling his car #AND some part of the pool needing replacement #my mom was like 'its fine just use your ''indian card''' and like. i do not have that much left. i could maybe buy a ream of paper. #maybe. #how much did i spend on practical stuff? not much! i think i bought a pair of sketchers that are made for standing a long time #two dresses (that i didnt want but im not out so my mom made me buy) and then like. a cup drying rack thing #everything else was just fun stuff. but like. retail therapy...? hm #the thing is tho is that i couldnt even use that money for school bc the first incentive they gave in the form of a debit card for some #reason??? but then the next much smaller incentive (for the booster i think) was given as a check??? odd

[zenyuumi]

i wanna pass out so bad bro

#yuumi talks #aughh #soerry i wantedto be more active again but then i didnt #i havent even refilled my queue :( i keep forgettihg that #sorry short rant #im tired school just started and i was given 4 assignments in a day and i need like 2 or 3 of them finished by tmrw #but i also havent even labeled and covered my books . something that they keep asking me to do #and then theres the issue with mu id picture i dont have one and i dont have uniform either so i need to get that checked #i only got around 3 hours day after class to fix allat its not enough!! please i wantthe day to be longer PLEASE #wahhh im tired im eepy #a little diszy too ? #ill go sleep #sorry this is silly. ill get used to it all im just adjusting rn

[endlessgalore]

had a REALLY bad drive back to school

#ok so this afternoon while i was still at home i was backng out of my friends driveway and i have a bike rack on my car #and it hit a guys car bc he didnt slow down even though i was backing out #admittedly it was also my fault bc id forgotten to put the backup camera back on #but it set the tone leaving me not quite ready to drive again this afternoon #unfortunately i needed to bc i need to have the car at school if i want to go anywhere at all #and so i was tense from the beginning #and there was this one point where i was supposed to turn in like half a mile but i got into the turn lane early #and i couldnt get out because there was a car next to me all of the sudden #and i freaked out and kinda slowed down and then ran over the curb in a reallly scary way #it was loud and bad #car is ok but i did stop in the midde of the road to go check it out #which just made me feel worse for the next like hour of driving #and i cried like CRIED cried too which is not good while youre driving #i really just wanted to close my eyes and sob bc this was like full body gasping for air crying but i couldnt bc i was scared to pull over #and i was like. shaking for half the rest of the drive after that. and constant tears :/ #every time i go home i remember what its like to actually feel connected to a place and it is SO miserable to return to school #and i think this was even worse than a normal break bc i also went on vacation to ireland which was SO nice #and now its like. i have to return to southern maryland. worst place ever. #i cant FATHOM the mindset of people who like it here #talkin