#its so lonley

[mossy-stormcloud]

I just realized that earlier in tma Jon asked Martin to run away with him and Martin refused, but at the end of s5 Martin is the one who wants to basically run away (banishing the fears and letting them finally live happily) but this time it's Jon who refuses and repeats the exact same thing Martin did, sacrificing himself for a 'better' cause - the thing jon has been trying to convince martin he was wrong about since s4, they're stuck in a loop of thinking they're not worthy enough to deserve the other and now I WANT TO CRY

#FUCK #i wrote this half asleep i am so sorry if its not coherent #tma #jonathan sims #the magnus archives #martin blackwood #tma s4 #tma s5 #theories #mag 200 #the lonley #the eye #the archivist #jmart #jonmartin #storm's rambles

[gh0ulsh4rk]

I don't need a boyfriend, girlfriend or unassigned/unassumable gendered partner- WHAT I DO NEED IS A QUEER PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP WHERE WE BUY MATCHING DOG COLLARS AND GO FOR WALKS!!!!! THAT'S ALL I NEED!!!!!

#shut up sh4rk #is it so much to ask for #queer #trans #is it a gay thing #its a gay thing #gay #i just want to be loved goddamn it #and love to me is matching dog collars and going for a walk once or twice a week #i have the same level of experience one would need to own a large or medium sized dog #like roommates but we kiss sometimes #maybe im just lonley #or maybe im just super queer #both! #also possibly polyamorous but thats not something im ready to face head on yet

[samemerson-confusedwvamps]

Heya Sammy! Do you have any plans this Valentines, maybe a little someone you fancy to celebrate the holiday with hmm?? 🤭

-Chrysta🍒

Oh I wish!!! ..... everyone got something planned except me it feels like!

Michael is going off with David for something, which always feels like an accidental rub in my face....Mom's even got somthing planned! Well it's more of a dad and daughter thing, Grandpa wanted to take her out for dinner and get her flowers, an old tradition apsrently stsrted when she was still a kid.....

The damn boardwalk is covered in pink and hearts all the shops have hearts and pink and flowers and valintines!!!! I wish I could get something!

And not even from mom or Mikey as a, "Great son/sibling!" Thing no!! I want a romantic thing!!! .....eveyones got somthing but me, and well the brothers but they close shop for valintines normally...

Mom offered to take me to dinner, but I don't wanna crash a daddy daughter thing you know? ......I don't even really have my eyes on anyone sadly...wish I did but I don't really....

Told mom me and the Frogs were just gonna hang out, but I doubt we will, I heard a rumor one of them has a crush on someone so I'm sure they'll be trying to land a date later...

My plans for the day include: listening to music, and making up scenarios about a boy I doubt even exists....

Stupid hearts and stuffed bears, wish I could get some of that fun action.....

#its a great holiday dont get me wrong!!! but after a while it feels.....bad... #like when your in school and do those fun things and trade cards with eveyone and save a special one for your crush its so fun!! #now its....odd.... #Michael's dating...moms not really dating.....if she is she doesnt have plans for today... #maybe this weekend.. #once michsel dated somone in our old school and he took them to dinner over the weekend vs the day of becsue it was cheaper and less crowded #i...never dated...had s lot of crushes tho!!! #....lots of them... #but it judt feels...weird and odd you know?? getting valintines from your mom and brother when your so much older... #i feel like i shoukd have at least somone but michael says we go st our own pace.. #still...it feels lonley somtimes...grandpa and mom say its becuse its a seasode town snd ill take their word on it. #makes you lonley in the winter months they say. #the lost boys #sam emerson #the lost boys sam #the lost boys rp #sam emerson rp

[ao3gingerswag]

Skepticalfrog deactivating.....this is a category 5 spn fandom dying event 😭😭 I need to start posting again b4 everyone is gone 😭

#ao3gingerswag #skepticalfrog #guys my heart is BROKEN i have been trapped in spn hell for ELEVEN YEARS and the 4 or so b4 2020 were so lonley 😭 #no one was here anymore 😭 i was SO happy when nov 5 happened as much bc the fandom came roaring back to life as bc of destiel 😭 #but now the show is over and its just gonna get smaller and smaller again until its just me and the crickets again :(( #even my dash now is just mcr pirate show and EMT show....bc even the spn blogs arent posting spn anymore :(( #this sucks 😭😭💔

[sasukeofcolor]

The decision to emit Emma's backstory from season 2, since the chapter in the manga is right after the twin dragons chapter, scares me into thinking they will place the backstory during the erm... piggyback ride scene... the walk they take away from shin's grave...

#that would kill me actually #pain. #if your big bros name is mikey then we match so its not weird right?? 😭😭😭😭 just shoot me #i wasnt worried about my name 😭 still ive never felt lonley not even once 😭 please take care of mikey 😭 #I KNOW THEYLL PUT THE MIKEY NAME REVEAL BACKSTORY DURING THE HDHSBSUSNDGD WHYYY???? #tokyo revengers #sano manjiro #emma sano #tokyo revengers season 2 #tenjiku #tr #mikey #god i hate this so much that chapter with baby mikey changing his name started my journey as a mikey defender ngl #AND BABY BAJI.... hes so baby but seeing him just brings the heartfelt bittersweet emotions

[cavewolf]

splatoon villians are weird. like they try to wrangle with the idea of 'these bad guys arent all bad' while still, consistently, characterising them as all bad

#like tartar is literally just an ancient ai fulfilling its programmed purpose so it has little automony. #its disappointed in squid civilisation for not being human / smart so wants to destroy it but like . giant evil lazer style #grizz is the last of his kind on the PLANET that he knows of so obviously he's going to get lonley and mad after 100s of years #but he also speaks in business slogans and puns nd shit. but hes kinda tragic if you put a bit of thought into it. if only he knew judd #and obviously octarian society is pretty shit and in constant poverty so you can justify stealing the zapfish to provide power #for your people but it is hard to give credibility to someone who is going to quote dubstomp your face #i know its a kids franchise but its funny to me lol #splatoon 3 spoilers #theres a lot of typos here sorry i cant edit tags -_-

[nomziebean]

WHY do you like the dbd doctor so much 🤨

I DON'T KNOW I GENUINELY DO NOT KNOW

IDK HE'S A SKURKLY LITTLE GUY1!!

he's so cool!

Big tall big honka honka booba

smarmt!1!

NEUROSCIENCE

HE'S HOT (i mean he isn't, but he is VERY GORGEOUS TO ME!)

IDK JUST LOOKIE HEEM! SO COOL!

I LOVE HIM!1!1❤️❤️❤️

#btw you guys this isn't my main you guys should ask things on my main #its in my bio #PLEASE ASK THINGS ON MY NEW MAIN IM SO LONLEY #anyway I LOVE HERMAN!1!1!1!1

[krispyykrab]

its strange to have followers on tumblr. like im just here to consume all the things and occasionally ill post the most random unhinged thoughts i have. and people see that?? wild. its like if you were buddies with the voices in your head. anyway, we should friends, you and i

#its lonley out here #anyway summer break is soon and idk what to do #im gonna be alone with my thoughts for so long #i think im gonna get a little pet #like a hamster or a rat

[mrfoox]

hate my autistic mind who always just wants to spend time with two people but i feel like i’m bothering them so i don’t ask them and thus i feel lonley af

#i have friends. i can make plans with them but....... theyre not The Friends right now #i want someone who vibes with me who actually would like to spend time togheter.......... #i either feel like people take too much energy ffor me or yeah........ #hate how my mind works. and ive always been this way and it have caused problems so i have develped an behaviour #to avoid having people get annoyed and tired of me. which is i barely at all approach them to talk first or ask to make plans #thus im so fucking lonley instead like ah. yeah i solved the problems for others but my god i'd want to spend time with my people #its stupid and i feel so BAD just asking to hang out like..... they dont want to? they'll say no. but then i'd get so anxious about asking #again so im like ..... hmmm........... #maybe i should fuck aorund and ask.... mmmm..... idk. i feel like i cant see anyone wanting to spend time with me #miranda talking shit #it just strucvk me im probably feeling this down now is bc my period is a few days away and now im like 'aha yeah probably why' #still cant decide if i should bother asking. i feel like a criminal doing it

[gonfrees]

seems like we are at the crying part of the illness.

#we can postpone cjristmas #gonna talk in da tags for a bit because a post full of perosmal info feels so gross #ive been crying on and off for hours. km so upset being atuck in my fucking room with covid while nobody else is sick at all #and im glad nonody is sick im just so fucking lonely #started symptoms on friday #twsted neg fri and sat. didnt test sundah cause i dont have a lot. tested monday and was psorive #literally slept with my bf all of those nights #shared weed pen on sunday with ofher roommate #nobody else is sick #i just feel so sad and tired. im used to himan or cat affection daily and ive had none. i feel so lonley and trapped #i did everythjng right to avoid being sick and my bf was also with me that whole day and he didnt get sick #i feel stupid weak and pathetic for gettinf sixk. i dont have symptoms anymore but atill positive #im so fucking sad and i can hear people hanging out and they are havjng fun and im glad but im jealous #im so sad and lonely. i want to wrap things for christmas and do more stockjng sruffer shopping. i want to watch movjes with people #i love holidays because i love to hang out with my friends and i fucking cant amd today especially its really tearing me up #my bf is upset that im no communicating and hes trying to cheer me up but everything is making me misribke and i dont know how to stop it #i like to do things for people when theyre sick and i know everyone isnt like me but it hurts to not have that done for me #offering to order food is nice bjt j want skmething made for me but nkbody is as good as i am at making things and i dont want to ask #i dont want to bother people but im literally breakkng down today. cant atop fucjing crying and i feel weak and pathetic. stupid #i tried so hard not to get sick and they are saying o dont want to fucking do that #id rather everyone open stockjngs and do presents without me because im tired of not saying what i got people i want tk show people #i like wrapping gifts and nobody wants me to toich anything because of cocid so others are wrapping things from me for me #i dont know its all very stupid but i feel very alone but also dont want people joking at me to make me feel better. im just mad and sad #ok im done now:) ill post a drawing later #nap time #text

[jadeneppy]

Im feeling so gay and lonley in this McDonald's tonight

#YEARING AND SAD CUX WAAWAAAA #HAVING 3 INTRESTES AT ONCE HELP #FIRST TO YOUR ETERNITY BINGE AND NOW SEEING HANDSOME JON N MARTIN AND ON TOP OF THST HANNIBAL POST #AAAAAAAAAAAA OH TO BE LOVEF OG TO HAVE SOMEONE CHERISH YOU IN LIFE AS WELL AS IN YOUR PASSING TO BE FUSHI TO BE NEW TO LIFE BUT STILL MOURN #TO MOURN THE LIFE OF PEOPLE WHO HELP YOU LEARN TO BE HUMAN #FOR JON AND MARTIN WHO ONLY THEIR TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES HELPED THEM GROW CLOSER WHICH IS SO SAD BUT THEYRE TRYING TO BE BETTER #NOT ONLY FOR THEMSELVES BUT FOR EACHOTHER. JON FINALLY REALIZING HE NEEDS SOMEONE ELSE AND MARTIN TRYING TO SAVE THE PERSON WHO HE LOVES #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #MARTIN GIVING UP HIMSELF AND JON NOT LETTING THAT HAPPEN MARTIN GOING INTO THE LONLEY AND JON RUNNING FOR HIM LOOKING AND MY FAVORITE QUOTE #MARTIN . MARTIN WHAT DO YOU SEE... I SEE YOU JON. JON I SEE YOU #AAAAAAAAAAAAAA #AAAAAAAAA #AAAAAAA #I WANNA BE LOVEF LIKE THAT WAAAAAAH #and then HANNIBAL and WILL #STUPID IDOTS WHO ARE SO OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER ONLY TO COMMIT CRIMES AND OUGH #IM NOT EVEN DONE WATCHING THE SHOW BUT THEYRE SO FUCKIN STUPID AND IN LOBE #its 4 am anf im very much yearin cux my crush gave me a hug unprompted and im am REALLLING IN IT WAAAAAA #cuz ill never be with him but i like the thought of it he makes me feel nice and hes just so hhhhh #AND ILL NEVER TELL HIM EATHER BUT HHHHH I WANNA BE IN A LOVING RELATIONSHIP SO BAD #neppy nyas

[saltycharacters]

hi! im bigender too and i hope you know seeing this made me really happy. how did you choose your names?

Well, Alyona is my birth name so that was chosen for me (I keep it cuz I love it :]), meanwhile Aliosha was always a name I really liked, so realizing I could claim it for myself was the turning point that made me choose it. I love how it sounds and how unique it is, even among Russian folk, and it also comes with good childhood memories for me plus a tie to my Russian culture (it's also very similar to my birth name, one could argue it's the "masculine" version of that name so it just feels familiar. Fits me just right :])

I think I heard it first during Russian school (my mom use to take me to a "Russian" educational program every weekend so I could learn to properly write and read in Russian with other slavic kids), where I read a lot of Russian fantasy literature and it always came up in those stories, it was often associated with good men who helped others or were powerful or heroic. Aliosha/Alyosha Popovich is actually the name of a famous "bogotyr" (fictional Russian folkheros who were unnaturally strong men with a heart of gold, sort of like toned down superman), so yeah that name just existed in my mind for a long time and it felt like it fit me pretty well so. I picked it as my own :]

#ive been called aliosha a few times by my english speaking friends which is nice #but the correct way to say aliosha is harder for english speakets and Idk i kinda feel lonley in the sense that #id really like for a russian speaker to call me it because its the way I heard it in my childhood #and it feels a lot more real in a sense. idk if it makes sense again #the name comes with a lot of good childhood memories and stories of heros and fantasy so its special to me #i dont mind when english speakers mispronounce Alyona bc my russian family says it to me a whole bunch #but I have yet to heard the correct pronunciation said like. to me and my family isnt very understanding in that sort of atuff so #its a little sad in that way its actually sad that Russian social norms are so hostile towards queer people #i wont lie saying it feels alienating and detached at times #sorry im rambling WAH

[tinycatstars]

sumtimes regressign is being in that inbetween space and watching a charlie slimecicle stream while eating watermelon. n thats ok

#emmy talks #hi gonna vent in the tags u don thave to read this at all #have trouyble regressing recently. i dunno y #it may be cause last fww times ive fully been in headspace i got rlly uoset and lonley and really embarrased at myself which was no good #also been busy w school and working and gettig everything done in time so i can have time w friends #but been getting more and more self concious abt regressinf again and i dunno what sparked it :( #nohting happened!! id dunno why i cant just regress all the way im stuck in this between space a lot and i cant push myself over the edge #sucks #>:P #bc imiss regressing #but like also #bad thoughts and also being lonley :( bc i dontlike regressinf w people but i wanna be around them #i feel like so. its not fair for me to want to be takenn care of like this. not fair for me to subject someone to htis #even THOUGH its so valid i just. irs so hard #god sorry this is a lot wowowowo <:0 #uhmm #anwys #posted some stuff anonymously for thi 1st time on ao3 wooooop #ntohing bad ofc just like. hrmmm dunno #felt like it #ok im goona watch my stream now. i lvoe this goopy guy :] #i luv jazzpunk and i love mr slimecicl #e #🌀

[evie-sturns]

needed this - Matt Sturniolo

summary: after a month-long business trip, you finally return home to your boyfriend matt. you find out he hasn't came since you left, obviously you have to help him.

warnings: smut, very sub!matt, overstimulating, swearing.

-------------------°°••....••°°--------------------

i've been away with work for just over a month, meaning matt's had the house to himself, i'm finally arriving home this evening.

7:54pm

i twist the key into the white door, pushing it open. the scent i'm so used to filling my nose. "matt!" i call out, placing my bag down by the front door and bending over to unstrap my heels.

"i missed you." he says with a grin, speed walking up to me and wrapping his arms around me. i bury my face into his chest, "how was it?" he asks with a wide smile.

"it was good! how was the empty house?" i say, grabbing matts hand and dragging him upstairs.

"lonley as shit without chris and matt aswell, they've been filming with other creators for ages." matt says with a sigh as we walk into our shared bedroom.

"oh yeah, i saw that tara and shit meetup with them" i say, pulling my minidress off over my head.

i can feel matts eyes laying on me as i scavenge through our closet for anything comfier to wear, giving i've been in dresses for 5 weeks straight.

matt clears his throat, "movie?"

i nod, "yeah, yeah just pick whatever you want sweetheart."

matt flicks on the tv at the end of our bed, i unclasp my bra, letting it fall to my feet. i grab one one matts shirt, pulling it down past my head,

i jump into bed beside matt, my leg resting across his waist and lap as i cuddle to his side. the netflix intro blares through the room

"jesus christ!!" i laugh, grabbing the remote and turning down the volume. "my bad." matt says with a smile, shaking his head and pulling up the white fuzzy blanket over us.

-

8:23pm

i shift the leg which is laying across him, i feel matt grow tense under me, "you okay?" i whisper, looking up at him. "yeah- no yeah- yeah no i'm good." matt stammers, i laugh slightly,

"matt whats wrong?" i say with a giggle, "no- no yeah, shit i'm fine." he says again, his cheeks a deep red as he fidgets with his rings.

"matt." i say with a serious tone. "stop!- i'm fine!" he says, getting worked up.

i sit up in bed abrubtly, the blanket falling off my body, i look down at matts crotch,

hes hard.

he yanks the blanket up over his lap, i pull it back down and straddle his thighs, staring into his eyes. "why are you hard?" i ask quietly, "i'm not!" he instantly replies, his eyes drifting away from mine.

i palm him through his sweatpants, squeezing lightly, he lets out a breathless groan. "so.. what was that?" i tease him,

"i dont know? just your leg moving.." matt says, rubbing his eyes with his fists,

"you got hard from my leg?" i laugh slightly, he nods.

"thats okay." i assure him, reaching for his waistband and toying with it, his breathing intensifies quickly, "why are you so sensitive?" i ask, "just been different since you left a month ago" matt says quietly

"different like how?" i push,

"haven't- you know.." he sighs, "i don't know actually." i reply cheekily.

he doesn't reply, his eyes fixed on my hand which is resting just under his waistband. "tell me the last time you touched yourself" i say, matt goes redder somehow.

"month ago." he says, barely audible "thats okay." i say, tugging his waistband down. "please.." matt whines slightly, "i know." i say, pulling his waistband down to his mid-thighs.

"you want this?" i ask, lifting my self off his thighs to pull my panties off, "jesus, obviously." he says, i shoot him a 'watch your tone' look and he instantly goes quiet.

i sit up, hovering myself above matts tip, which is now red. his hands stay by his sides, i'm 95% sure his brain is so fogged he doesn;t know what to do with them anymore.

i grab his cold hands, placing them on my waist. i stay sitting above his tip for a few more seconds, its tempting to see how worked up i can get matt. he trys to guide me down, but i resist.

"please." he says, "matthew, stop whining and tell me what the fuck you want." i say, "please, you know what i want" matt says shyly, i stay still, waiting for him to practically beg.

"ride me, please?" he breathes out, i can see his stomach jolting up and down from his desperate breaths underneath his white sweater.

i nod, moving my hair to one side and slowly sinking onto matt, he squeezes his eyes shut, his hands dropping from my waist and balling up the white fuzzy blanket. i slowly take more of his length before bottoming out, sitting comfortably on his dick as matt lets out small whimpers

"you alright?" i ask, grabbing his hand which is squeezing the sheets.

he nods his head, "look at me, matt." i say, he opens his eyes, letting in small breaths. "calm. down." i say, he nods again as his top teeth sink into his pink bottom lip.

i slowly start to bounce on him, his eyes stay fixed on me as i quicken my pace. i throw my head back as i balance my hands on his thighs behind me.

"close- really close." matt squeezes out, "no, not yet matt." i tell him.

"i can't, oh my fuck-" he whines, his grip on my waist tightening, the cold metal of his rings pressing against the warmth of my skin.

"you can, and will." i say, placing a hand on his stomach to balance myself as i continue to ride him. he lets out soft groans as he throws his head back into the pillows, his hair flopping.

"your okay, your doing so well." i say with a small moan as I repeatedly hit my g-spot.

suddenly i feel matt release, coating my insides. matt rubs his eyes "did i tell you you could do that?" i say, looking into matts eyes.

"im sorry, shit- i'm so sorry." he rambles, instead of pulling off him, i chase my own orgasm. he groans from overstimulation, "too much, sensitive-" he says,

"is it my fault you came early?" i say as i sit down on his cock, rubbing my clit against his pelvic bone.

he shakes his head, somewhat arching his back off the bed as his hands dig into my waist. i let my head falll foward as i look down at matts hands,

"fuck it hurts." matt says,

we have an established safe word, he knows he can use it whenever he needs, but he's not.

"you want me to stop?" i ask, he pauses for a moment before letting out a breathless "no. fuck please dont-"

i continue to bounce on his length, i feel the pit in my stomach growing as my cheeks flush, matt has mutiple tears falling down his cheeks.

"i think i'm close-" matt says, my eyebrows twist with a small laugh "again?" i question, "yeah- shit." matt groans .

i clench around him, i think thats enough for matt to finish. the knot in my stomach snaps as i feel matt finish again. i collapse down onto matts chest as i attempt to catch my breath, he reaches down and pulls out of me with a wince.

"you okay? did i hurt you?" i say as i rest my face on matts shoulder.

"yeah- no im fine, needed that a lot." he says, his fingers tracing mindless shapes on my back.

after a handful of minutes i sit up on matts lower stomach before lifting myself off him, stepping down onto the plush of our carpet. "c'mon, lets get you cleaned up." i say, wiping matts face with one hand, matt stays still on the bed.

"matt? stand up" i say, matt has a small smile on his face, he wipes his eyes before starting.

"i cant.. stand."

----------------

#nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo #m

[quinndjarin]

ok this is gonna sound so weird but whenever i read about young people my age being killed i always end up thinking like i wish i could have taken their place. and not because i wanna die or anything but they had so much to do and live for and i kinda don’t. like i’m just over here existing and doing nothing and doing a job i hate and living in a town i hate and so many times in murder cases these people had aspirations and jobs that could have made a difference and i always think why them? like why not someone without any purpose like me over here just going through life with nothing and doing nothing. anyways how is everyone today? lmao