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cattles-bians · 3 years

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exes au part 15

post directory

em: viola teas i am like. incapable of sleeping in

em: i woke up 10:30 on the dot and i thought. what the fuck

em: 10:30 is especially offensive bc it means the mcdonald’s breakfast is done

obsetress: brain immediately said viola up and about doing all the chores vacuuming with no sympathy for her constantly sleeping in snoring girlfriend dani clayton

obsetress: but nah i'm sorry for you that sucks

em: inspiring deranged viola behaviour is

em: the greatest gift of all

obsetress: god so true when u think about it

obsetress: not that viola vacuums, she def has cleaners but

obsetress: actually no

obsetress: she has cleaners but she's prob not satisfied and gets out her expensive vacuum she has no idea how to use and is clattering n making such a fuss

obsetress: and poor dani

em: she’s up and about rearranging things, she’s causing a ruckus,

obsetress: dani's like "you have just as bad insomnia as me and you're just... getting up? that early?"

obsetress: viola shrugs "i don't need that much sleep"

obsetress: "you do, though"

obsetress: she shrugs and disappears into the kitchen

obsetress: insomniac gf and insomniac gf

em: insomnia gfs

em: viola runs on like

em: supernatural element carrying over: viola is a little too good at running on no sleep and no one knows if she ages

obsetress: YEAH

em: i love a sorta, grounded real life show w like one or two unexplained ambiguously supernatural things that no one blinks at

obsetress: i was gonna be like

obsetress: i wonder what dani and viola do when theyre up not sleeping at night and then i was like

obsetress: Well,

obsetress: no they do that but they also do the most random borderline unhinged shit like

obsetress: dani tries new baking recipes and they sit on the countertop in their pjs or underwear or nothing and eat scones at three am

em: go for night drives

em: night drives aren’t even unhinged but they’re nice

em: but they don’t listen to music they listen to fucken podcasts

obsetress: that fuckin lorde song

[em note: it's supercut]

obsetress: they go to the roof and dani lays her head in viola's lap and stares at the stars while viola reads to her in french

obsetress: ugh i put it on oh god why did i put it on

[em note: it's still supercut]

obsetress: in my head.........

obsetress: i do everything right............

obsetress: when you call............

obsetress: i'll forgive and not fight.............

obsetress: ours are the moments.........i play in the dark OH MY GOD VI'S INSOMNIA AFTER DANI LEAVES AND SHES ALONE

em: ur a MONSTER

obsetress: i need to lay on the floor and put this song on repeat

obsetress: anyway um

obsetress: another thought from when i was thinking about the vacuum like

obsetress: viola has a degree of learned helplessness that all rich people have but she's not an idiot like the rest of them yknow and i think like

obsetress: she had to do a lot when she and perdita were kids!

obsetress: after her mom died

em: hannah......

obsetress: and then after her dad died before she married arthur and like

obsetress: then being a single mom (viola lloyd single mom i'm drooling) even w all the help she can afford

obsetress: she has a chip on her shoulder and Does Things For Herself but also just

obsetress: sometimes it happens! there's never enough time and never enough help!

obsetress: and she loves isabel so much like

obsetress: viola making isabel her lunches

obsetress: oh god

em: making her little lunches at like 2am bc it’s been a busy day and she’s tired and she’s sore and she’s sad but the one thing viola will never skip is like

em: making sure isabel gets her lunches

em: hey what is wrong with us

obsetress: GOD YEAH

obsetress: EXACTLY

obsetress: HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS THINKING ABOUT HER MAKING THEM AT TWO AM UGH

obsetress: anyway um yeah viola making isabel her lunches at two am

obsetress: i know that i wrote jamie leaving flora notes on her napkins but like

[em note: read 'and she taught me a lesson alright']

obsetress: i just think it's something a mom who really loves her kid and wants them to feel safe and okay would do so i want to say vi does it for isabel too!!! and what of it they're different universes it's fine

em: ur just building the hannah obsetress cinematic universe

em: building up some Themes and Motifs

obsetress: themes motifs and symbols

obsetress: anyway viola packing isabels lunches she writes little notes and puts on lipstick n kisses them

obsetress: so isabel can get a kiss from her mom

em: im going to kill u w my bare hands

obsetress: cut to vi in the bathroom wiping it off later à la jennifer check

em: im GONNA

obsetress: sometimes when vi has to go out of town for business or w/e she leaves a stack of napkins with arthur to put in isabel's lunch so she can still get a kiss from her mom even when she's gone

em: thats so extra??

em: its so viola

obsetress: exactly

obsetress: she definitely has a fear of isabel favoring arthur over her (abandonment issues etc etc)

obsetress: gestures at canon

—-

em: dani 'its casual' taylor

obsetress: leave the typo

obsetress: dont you dare change it

em: i need u to know that i DO fuck but

em: hgfngjkyhGJBJKFHD FUCK

em: ruined my own joke

obsetress: in the most spectacular way

em: dani 'i need you to know i DO fuck but im accepting offers' clayton

obsetress: she takes care to drop that like

obsetress: it's just casual SHE'S not anything serious. i'm not dating HER or anything

obsetress: jamie's like dani i know you're gay you literally stare at my lips every time i talk

em: dani getting off the phone and dramatically rolling her eyes like 'ex girlfriends, am i right? whats up with these women i-' and jamies like love i get it

obsetress: jamie raising her eyebrows "how many ex girlfriends do you have"

obsetress: dani's like "well, just the one, but"

em: but i COULD have more. if i wanted to. bc i am looking to date more women

em: jamies like ok cool

obsetress: jamie, a little too casually: oh? any, uh. prospects?

em: danis like (patented nervous dani lip bite) maybe but

em: jamies like drat

em: jamies like darn

em: and then she gets home and shes like

em: wait

obsetress: jamie calling dani back "when you said maybe"

obsetress: and dani immediately is like yEAH?

em: jamies like do you think you could ever be interested in me and danis like umm. yeah.

em: jamie hangs up like ok cool

em: long beat

obsetress: oh my GOD

em: REDIALS

---

obsetress: ok last thing i was gonna say

obsetress: i meant to say this earlier and got distracted a hundred times over

obsetress: but um imagine dani helping isabel with her english homework

obsetress: vi helping isabel with her math homework

em: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

em: SOFT

obsetress: well,

em: oh no

obsetress: isabel needing help w her english homework post dani and vi's trying to help and vi's smart n all but

em: get HELP

---

em: dani 'hooking up w my ex is actually a v girlboss of me' is SO funny to me

em: when they get together danis like, oh but havent we all- and jamies like nooo i have very good boundaries

em: except for the perdi vi psychosexual power play ig

obsetress: moment of weakness

obsetress: who wouldn't want to hook up w their hot boss

—

obsetress: when dani goes up to london whatever weekend like friday night to get her closure dinner with vi

obsetress: boom haircut and therapy reveal

em: 3 day bender u say

obsetress: all of a sudden it's sunday night and

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: they spend

obsetress: all fucking weekend

obsetress: in vi's bed

em: sighs dreamily

obsetress: dani playing with her hair

obsetress: "this is nice"

obsetress: "i'm gonna miss your bun though"

obsetress: vi's brain is short circuiting at "i'm gonna miss"

em: later danis like look. jamie. what would you have done? and jamie chokes on her beer and splutters 'not fuck my ex for 3 days straight?!'

obsetress: dani "well you've never fucked v–– oh wait"

obsetress: "you really can't blame me, jamie, you KNOW" jamie: (grumbles)its different... dani: well i mean i guess, technically, you didnt,

obsetress: unrelated in some bad fight at the end vi is like "you can't go isabel needs a–– you're like her–––" and dani's like "a what? say it" and viola's too stubborn and proud and hurt to say it

em: just perpetually bouncing back to the worlds angstiest break up

obsetress: i don't know WHY

obsetress: as someone who HATES ANGST

obsetress: i am so DRAWN to these two

em: its ummmm weirdly cathartic??

em: the whole exes au is based on a joke about them being friends and exes. we are v firm in like. viola and dani reconcile!

em: idk i love a catharsis moment! i love it when a character claws their way to happiness. or even begrudgingly goes to therapy

em: viola can go through a little hell as a treat

obsetress: turns out the only one who could fix her in the end

obsetress: was the one who said it's not my job to fix you

em: dani transformative power of (platonic) love

obsetress: "Platonic"

#the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au

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grimmjowjaegerjaquez · 5 years

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so. ach’m. he is an amphibious alien character thats been with me for a long time and i havent had the feeling for him in YEARS. but i have to talk about him because hes still got a special place in my heart despite my uh... abandonment of him.

this is really long so it’s under a cut

first things first: his name, Ach’M Raten, is pronounced, Ahk-mm Rah-ten. it has a meaning to it because apparently those are names derived from words in his people’s language, which you’ll find out about more later.

he was someone i made when i was RIGHT in the middle of my Alien phase, and was also just starting my OCT xDDD phase on deviantArt. (i was. not good at octs bc i had no concept of cohesive storytelling in a limited timeline comic format and also had really bad add that made it impossible to ever finish anything.) the OCT he was apart of was Tapestry of Horror, which, honestly i think my audition comic for that was the only good one i made for that entire tourney. this was his reference for it:

ahh, look at that. the nostalgia is all coming back to me. the amount of “:U” which was a go-to face for 13 year old me. this was posted back in 2010! wow!

the reason the 63 on his age is crossed out is because THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY THE ORIGINAL REFERENCE I HAD FOR HIM! i had to redraw him because his original reference (which unfortunately has been lost to the annals of time) was too human looking? and tapestry of horror was an anthro/alien/no-human-faces tourney, so they told me i should probably change his face up some and then he’d be fine, and ORIGINALLY, ACH’M WAS AN OLD MAN. I DON’T KNOW WHY I ALSO CUT HIS AGE IN HALF BUT IT’s PROBABLY BECAUSE I WAS THE INDECISIVE BASTARD THEN THAT I STILL AM TODAY.

supposedly he used to slink around in shadows and laugh and speak in rhymes, and im pretty sure that was a side effect of edgy 13 year old interests? like, i think i tried giving him kind of a creepy serial killer vibe? and then just never executed it? he had an epithet of, The Laughing Cyborg, which is still relevant in later versions of him.

oh and here, have some TOP SECRET ACH’M LORE COURTESY OF THE IMAGE DESCRIPTION OF HIS REFERENCE:

i don’t believe i was lying. i think i did originally make an amphibious alien woman character that just later evolved into ach’m. i’m sure if i had any of my sketchbooks from that age physically with me i would ABSOLUTELY be able to find it and show you guys but i dont so, rip.

because i was trying to be coy and ~*~mysterious~*~ i never originally explained his backstory on his reference. it was planned to be something revealed overtime through ~*~dramatic~*~ flashbacks and dream sequences that i did not have the ability to execute. its always followed the same beats, though: ach’m and his younger brother were child refugees from a civil war on his home planet. in their initial escape, ach’m is caught under a crumbling wall and loses his leg, and they’re later found and adopted by a retired opera singer of another species. through vague never-established family issues, ach’m leaves his adoptive mother and joins a travelling circus.

this is his adoptive mother:

her name is (and i’m sorry) Nippeteranulzenkodelonio. You can just call her Nippy, though. Please just call her Nippy.

god, her species used to be called draconae? what the heck. in future designs, those religious symbols are obsolete and replaced with other symbols relating to a galaxy-wide secret society that has NOTHING to do with ach’m and i never figured out how nippy was involved in it, so we’re not delving into that.

they both come from a planet called Naruviie, which in his language just means, “Land of the People,” “naru” being the part that means people. i never like, fully fleshed out their planet aside from very vague allusions to it being mostly swampland populated by cute little amphibious animals like this fun guy:

pictured: a gold Yarlian, which is basically the Naruviian equivalent of a dog.

SO BACK TO ACH’M AND THE TAPESTRY OF HORROR: i only won the first round because my opponent had to drop out, and i lost the second round. it didn’t really matter though, because ach’m remained an incredibly popular character to followers of the tourney, and No, It Was Not Because Of Me. it was because one of the other competitors who i was friends with included him in her rounds, mostly for jokes, and i thought it was the best thing ever. the problem with that though, was that even though in every entry for the tourney she would say IN THE DESCRIPTION that he was NOT her character, everyone thought he was. because she was just a more well-known artist in that community, and i was just. some 13 year old.

but anyway, she was a more competent storyteller than i was so she actually like... gave him more character than i was capable of at the time, and she would ask me if i characterized him wrong and i would always be like, “NO ITS GREAT HES PRETTY MUCH WHAT I WANTED HIM TO BE BUT JUST COULD NOT WRITE FOR WHATEVER REASON!” not that i ever expressed it like that because... from what i remember about my 13 year old self... i was very Virgo in all of my statements. yikes.

im not close with that artist anymore, and our interests have diverged a lot since then, but i always think back to that time with fondness. for my tween mind, having an artist that i looked up to see my character and actually like them enough to do that absolutely had a profound effect on me at the time.

ALRIGHT NOW FOR THE NEXT VERSION OF ACH’M, 2015:

see i told you his name had a meaning. and look, i even gave his language a name! wow! such developments!

his backstory didn’t really change, except this time instead of a wall falling on him and crushing his leg, he was just born with a bad leg that had to get amputated. apparently. i also changed up his personality more. instead of him being this one dimensional jokey boy that talked in a bad accent, he became more of this like... roguish bardish type of character? he’s more flirty, more prone to being pride and false bravado, tells ridiculous stories of his life to appear more dashing, and, get this: i literally put in his updated backstory that he used to work more Colorful Jobs (ie: he was a prostitute at some point)

his brother also has more of a presence and an actual character? i think i planned on him being dead in his 2010 iteration. Orith in this version is a grouchy mechanic/space engineer with a prosthetic eye. oh yeah that’s right him and ach’m were like. attacked by giant birds at some point in their childhoods? i think i had it that the giant birds were a natural predator of his fucking species????????? and thats why ach’m is missing an arm and an ear

moving on.

LOOK WOW I GAVE ACH’M MULTIPLE OUTFITS!! WOW!!!

big himbo energies. i knew what was up.

and that leads us to the latest ach’m that i’ve drawn which is these sketchy things from 2016

his cybernetic arm looks completely different now, he doesn’t have the robot ear anymore and his brother (wow an actual picture of his brother!) doesn’t even have a robot eye, and nippy now looks actually old and is like. completely blind now. i didn’t even realize my art style changed THAT much in the span of like, one and a half years until like.. JUST now. wow.

he definitely looks like more of a scumbag now, and i don’t think i ever made anymore drastic changes to his backstory. i’m probably going to take another crack at it though because uhhhhh i dont like a lot of the implications i made in his backstory lmfao.

anyway yeah that’s the story of ach’m!

#my ocs #ach'm #< look he has his own tag now. do apostrophes even work in tags?

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years

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@thecicadasong yeah i havent actually had like, Anons trying to get fresh w/ me about what i Should be drawing (i think ive gotten anon hate like, twice? once for passing along a tweet abt respecting homeless people, another time i have No idea why they were trying to roast me but they were also...weirdly bad at it) but the very rare occasions someone’s tried to tell me i should be drawing different stuff for whatever reason Stick With Me b/c i’m often still steamed abt shit that mightve happened years back but it was THAT annoying lmfao & i reaaally hate when ppl get patronizing &/or when i can tell they’re acting like whatever angle they’re taking is going over my head or they think i’m clueless & i can’t even tell they see me that way lol and i’m like, oh my god i mean it doesn’t make me concerned if i Only Appreciate Boys b/c they’re mostly who i draw b/c yknow......my drawing corner is some rando over here just entertaining myself & Xpressing myself. and a real limited amt of my Interests = the ones im able/interested enough in to draw, & then i tend to wanna draw them a million times lmao....it’s not necessarily the One Unfiltered Reflection of all my interests and all the characters i like, cuz it’s not the only way i think abt shit and express things, & if somebody thinks that my Portfolio not being >50% Girls means that it’s b/c i’ve totally hated girls all along.....that’d be their prerogative i guess. also good lord but that’d be a bad litmus test anyways like.......alllll the misogynist dude artists who draw plenty of ~female characters~ like Yikes City ahhhhh god thats such a fucking cursed realm like. the people so sexist they should be banned from depicting girls and women in any medium. and banned in general God Anyways And Yeah like. the terrible relationships thing too.........like really, this is what you think is appealing???? its too clear sometimes when some man writing this kind of stuff has NO real idea how to think of a woman as an actual person and if they’re trying to write from that perspective it’s like “oh, let’s throw in a ‘smh boys are so stupid and sexist’ thought to realistically depict what it must be like to experience misogyny” and “something about a bra idk” and then call it a day, and if they’re trying to write Romance it’s just like....this Incredible Love that’s truly out of nowhere and they never bother explaining what sustains this, or they decide that the reason bitches liked pride & prejudice is totally because she thought he was a jerk and they fought but then it was like wait nvm we’re in love, right?? and they make that into like, some dude being able to be a total asshole and a really detrimental force in some girl’s life and somehow this Intensity can just be translated into Romantic Intensity no problem, it’s fine that like, they’re not even friends and who knows how to believe they can just get along in regular life and the guy is probably super disrespectful and diminishes her but whatever its fine All Of This And More.....there are so many terrible and annoying ways they do m/f relationships and it’s Really easy to just make it decently written!!! i mean of course sometimes there’s m/f ships that i think are tolerably written and i don’t hate it but also don’t particularly care one way or another but a small / hetero-leaning fandom will like Never Shut Up About It and it’s like ok please shut up about it......i mean really i definitely don’t ever go into any new piece of media expecting to give a shit about any Guy Girl couple. it was a pleasant but total surprise that i really like jeremy/christine (which is not me disavowing the nb lesbian jeremy hc by any means lol) and it was NOT complicated why!!! really in fact a couple of the biggest reasons i found it Especially Good is like, ten seconds in total lmao and it’s “jeremy and christine cracking up by squawking at each other on the couch” and “jeremy doing that Ecstatic Stimming Twirl after kissing christine for 0.003 seconds” lmao.....like!!!! consider showing that the characters can actually have genuine fun interacting with each other for longer than five seconds!!!! give us a single reason why they’d be drawn to each other As People!!! it’s notttt thaaaat harrrrrd aaaaaaaaaA THE WEIRD CHARACTERS yeah i love a true Quirky character and not in the like.....bad clichéd quirky way but like. just someone who’s weird!! the nerdy awkward guys who manifest this by like....maybe being a tiny bit socially clumsy are like, boring and whatever a dime a dozen. but when people are funky and in a sort of fun way and it’s genuinely part of how they interact with others....it’s real relatable lmao i don’t have any very Weird Persona at this point but back in the day i did a bit moreso b/c like, firstly interacting w ppl tended to make me Nervous so it’s like ah hell i’ll do a bit. and then also there’s the classic “well i have this Weirdness abt me that i can’t turn off that ppl seem to dislike, so i’ll put on this extra layer of weirdness that i can try to be vaguely entertaining with.” and then you aren’t popular at all still lol but at least you’ve got your niche amongst whoever does actually like you.....Weird Quirky Guys characters are fun and like, it’s funny that nato of the black suits is Like That in terms of being a lil weirdo who just kind of does his thing in his corner and might Say Something About Anything Apropos Of Nothing as his conversational style and he’s apparently that superlative student type but doesnt seem to actually give a shit and just has his specific interest and depression.......it’s like oh jeez!!! relatable lmao!!! everyone who has a kind of Veneer of communicating a bit erratically and maybe just always throwing out random shit when interacting with others to hope something sticks......but also the strangeness doesn’t even have to be at all performative b/c it’s rarer but super fun when there’s characters who do have that kind of more inherent weirdness that they can’t turn off that really puts people off despite like....them not really doing anything lol....now THAT’S what i call A Timeless Mood it’s funny lmao like i totally have clear Character Types and i always go for those ppl on the same general wavelength as me but it can be a bit Unpredictable and nuanced which ones will actually be adopted into the faves category......like naturally i go for the un-cool passionate excitable types but if someone’s real like, mad energetic or demanding/loud im like oops you lost me. i like people who like to / want to Socialize / have relationships but sometimes if they’re too outgoing / have that natural success at it all / are obv free of anxiety im like, again, you’ve lost me. you truly never know!! only the Most relatable can survive!! one that might seem like they should be a fave on paper might super annoy me lol or just generate Zero interest.......it’s nice to be surprised by which characters really strike a chord lol

#already i Fear whatever horribly written relationship you had to endure being exposed to :(

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ohdeerlings · 5 years

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mushi hime rant hahahhaahfdsjh

just posting my long-winded summary i typed immediately after finished reading to talk about how bad it was; it ended up a lot longer than i intended and now i feel like i should at least keep what i put effort into typing =___=

so it starts with this guy who's been getting recurring nightmares of a girl who shapeshifts into a monster with a huge mouth and teeth eating him

one day a transfer student comes in and looks exactly like her(already outplayed trope of having dreams for no reason of reality that doesnt ever get explained, and it happens lots of times throughout

)around the same time strange events start happening around town: ex, truck driver found by police with markings of a mass insect attack, dogs and pets all getting attacked by swarms of ants and filling up the vet hospitals

the narrative goes back and forth btwn:

- the guy's (Ryoichi's) POV in class where he's just not approaching her and wary of her bc of his dream; he's Not Like Other Boys who get all horny over her bc she's perfect (beautiful, smart, mysteriously quiet, physically adept)

- and btwn this stereotypically wacky/eccentric scientist who was consulted by the police with the first caseturns out the scientist has been tracking down a series of seemingly unrelated murders that follow a clear path ending at Ryoichi's town

throughout the story there's some not so subtle dialogues about the earth going through global warming and species dying

the scientist spiels to some insignificant characters about how humans arent long for this earth, etc etc and how insects are amazing because of their adaptational abilities

he seems to know the transfer student girl, Kikuchi and is trying to track her down

meanwhile kikuchi is character-developed as some clearly dangerous but morally compromised monster-human hybrid who Only Preys on Bad Guys or people around at the wrong time

she gets hit on by some lecherous perv who asks her to karaoke and she actually agrees

there she straddles him and starts kissing him and then these tentacle things come ouit of her throat and go into his mouth

he slumps over and she leaves

the scientist-investigator duo are closing in on her and find the security camera tapes, from that they get a picture and show it around town to try to locate her

meanwhile Ryoichi is still like wow she's Scary and I'm Not Like Other Boys

then he happens to see her just as the old man from the karaoke bar (who seems to have not been killed and is just stumbling around acting drugged) finds her and attacks her

a fucking needle spike comes out of her arm and she defends herself by stabbing him and puncturing his skull and killing him

he sees all that and shes like well guess you're my hostage now and takes him to his house

she's also attracted to him inexplicably, partially because He's Not Like Other Boys and shes like WHY ISNT HE SECRETING PHEROMONES FOR ME(she can smell that

)then there's a weird "erotic" scene where she forces him onto the bed and deep throats him with her mouth tentacles

then there's just a LOT of dialogue thrown at us at once with the scientist just explaining a shit ton to his investigation partner whose character clearly only exists for hte sake of exposition

turns out he had a colleague when he worked on a super secret gov funded experiment called biosphere 2 where they sealed off a forest and bombed it with radiation and pollution n shit

they found that it endured a lot at first and it was because of the bugs (?) that it did until the bugs disappeared and were nowhere to be found, then the forest just died

they looked around and found mutated bugs sleeping inside the earth

his colleague had a daughter back then with a terminal illness so out of desperation he injected the dna of the mutated insects into her, hoping their resilience would change her body to survive the illness

so she lived but she was clearly not human, farming off of her dad - she wasnt able to produce endorphins anymore so her tentacle things would secrete an enzyme to get hte host to produce lots of endorphins and she would take it, creating a dependency

bc she was the only of her species to exist she felt a need to procreate so she also kept trying to mate with her dad

then we find out that her dad had an identical twin who was raised by foster parents - and thats Ryoichi's dad, making Ryoichi and Kikuchi technically cousins, and genetically half-siblings

so thats why she was Inexplicably drawn to that town, and to him

she was wandering through japan because at some point her dad tried to kill her for humanity's sake, but bc of a random flood their town was wiped out and he wasnt able to kill her and she disappeared/survived the flood thanks to her ability to mutate in environmental changes

meanwhile she's been keeping him hostage to feed off of his endorphins and creating a dependency in him for the enzymes she would give him

until his mom accidentally comes into his room and sees, then she runs away and dies falling down the stairs lol

then he's all like ytou're a monster!!!!! and she threatens to kill the girl-next-door character in his friend group who seemed to have a thing for him/vice versa

so he's like: ill do anything just spare her!!!!

so she forces him to answer the door when his friends are like why havent u been going to class and tell them to fuck off/be a dick to them

while theyre walking outside after to go somewhere else the scientist sees the girl (Chiken) and is like hEY you look sad and depressed there's nothing possibly else that could make u feel like that except having your childhood crush abducted by a halfhuman-half locust succubus

he shows her the picture and she recognizes her and leads him back to the house

then he gets a rifle to try to shoot her and theres a whole fight scene where she uses her pheromones to call upon the insects to swarm

ryoichi is useless because he found his moms corpse lying in the bathtub getting consumed by maggots she asked to fully decompose the body

then the scientist gets a couple shots in and fends her off, meanwhile random police get in the way to stop what looks just like a home invasion and she disappears

they take ryoichi into the hospital bc all the endorphin harvesting and brain fuckery has him weak

then ryoichi's dad comes in and is like how do you recognize who i am!! to the scientist who explains

oh yeah that's the point at which we find out ryoichi and kikuchi are related

and then he's still having dreams where she vores him and he's both horrified and wants it

meanwhile entire city is getting swarmed by insects in a disaster scene with society breaking down etc etc

kikuchi tracks them down by following ryoichi's scent (?)

then they have one last battle where they try to use the dad as a distraction bc he looks identical to her dead father

and somehow the scientist just FINDS specific chemicals/enzymes to throw on her and weaken the part of her thats an insect

also earlier before she got there he whips out the mutant insect dna out of nowhere? like the extremely valuable dna that he should have no business just finding/still carrying around

and is like

hey lets inject ourselves with this because humanity is getting wiped out and attacked by insects rn anyway, the only way to live i sto adapt

but no one does it (lmao pointless inclusion)

then they defeat her in a big struggle with ryoichi getting farmed on by her again and instead of just taking it has a Miraculous realization past the drugs that oh no this person is killing everyone i love

and CHOMPS on her tentacle thigns while their mouths are connected

scientist injuects her with more random dna he has to compromise her mutant dna and the insect swarming stops bc of the internal biological shit happening and she's writhing oon the ground

then looks like she dies

they try to escape the basement theyve been in because its suddenly flooding (no reason lmfao)

on the way out they get stopped by a teacher that she pricked with her spike earlier on who's been missing from school and his "insect bite" changed his behavior/ultimately made him into a different part human part bug who tries to kill them

then kikuchi who -surprise- hadnt died!@!! shows up again but now she's blond and looks almost exactly like Ryoichi (who is blond) because the thing the scientist injected in her enabled her to adapt to the water and she's still a mutatn but Less Evil Somehow and he's like i thOUGHT U DIED.... I ACTUALLY LOVE YOU..

then epilogue is the scientist goign through his life normally and the city is recovered from the insect swarm and he sees another random global warming thing in the news and is like

“its only a matter of time before humanity perishes, but now is not that time....we're good.............,,,,,,,for now...and i know somewhere underwater something of humanity's legacy will live on”

and it cuts to ryoichi and kikuchi hugging in a very Shape of Water way underwater with tentacle thigns cause they went to live in the ocean

then there s a bad window for a sequel showing the teacher guy - SURPRISE - not actuially dead and crunching on humans in a sewer somewhere

STILL A FUN READ

#summary #review #manga #insect princess #mushihime #mushi hime #trashpost

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franeridart · 7 years

Note

what are your thoughts about bakugou and midoriya's relationship? platonic, i mean

I live and die for it, every part of the manga in which that relationship is shown progressing is between my favorite parts of the manga and I’ve reread them a hundred times and cried over them way more than necessary - the battle trial one? yes, the end of terms exam? absolutely yes holy shit, the post-license exam fight? god yes fuck me that’s my absolute fav, the rescue arc? shit yes between all the reasons why that arc’s my fave the change in the deku/baku relationship is definitely a worthy of note one

It’s an interesting relationship, a painful one that’s making both of them grow so so so much, a rivalry they both need to better each other and keep each other straight on the path to become two great, all-around heroes - I’m not sure they’ll ever end up having the type of relationship Izuku has with Todoroki or Bakugou with Kirishima, I don’t think it’s possible for them to be friends like that, they’re just too different to properly fit like that and to avoid stepping on each other’s toes every single day of their lives they’d have to change their core personalities too much, but they did end up being able to coexist (Bakugou’s even giving Deku tips!!!) and I do think they’ll be able to cooperate and support each other in the end. If one day they’ll be able to make fun of each other in a friendly manner and egg each other on and be honest with each other without it escalating into a full blown fight I’d truly be happy, that’s probably my main dream for this whole manga. For them to have a healthy rivalry, one in which they can maybe even laugh together. I think it might happen, I’m waiting for it to happen

Anon said:Hi Fran! I'm obsessed with your BakuShimaNari work. Here's a cute thought to hopefully cheer you up a bit while you're unable to draw: they're all in their early 20s and Denki likes to poke/smooth out the little crease between Bakugo's eyebrows and tease him about getting wrinkles early from all the scowling he does. Bakugo flicks him in the nose and says he's starting to get crows feet from always grinning like an idiot.

Oh my god. Oh my g o d this is the sweetest thing I’ve ever read. Oh my g OD I’m just imagining them doing that and Kiri in the background watching them like they’re most precious thing in the world I’m dying rip me this just made my whole life thank you so much anon *sob*

Anon said:You are wonderful. That BakuKiriKami art just made me cry again after this chapter but I so needed it. I hope your hand heals up quickly!

I hope so too!!!! And thank you so much, I’m glad you liked it!!! ;A; tho I’m sorry for having made you cry rip

Anon said:Maybe Kirishima's hair is like haru from fruits basket, it changes colour when it reaches a certain length, and he decided to either dye the roots to match the long part or the long part to match the roots.

I’m effin laughing my ass off imagining the “you’ll never convince me that hair is natural” scene but with Iida I’m crying

But seriously if his hair did something fancy like that I don’t think the current Kirishima would try to hide it? Hair that naturally grows like that is flashy!

Anon said:KiriBaku, KamiJirou, AshidoSero, u feel me? I personally ship TodoMomo and IzuOcha as well but u know each to their own

tbh I ship all the ships mentioned in this ask to at least a certain degree, so yeah, I definitely feel you haha

Anon said:Fran can i ask why you ship BokuTeruKuroo ? like i understand why you ship BoKuroo, they are friend and so funny and cute with each other but do they have interaction with Terushima ? because i watch the anime and only start reading the manga and there's no interaction between them in it

What a question lmao no, no they never interact with Teru, it’s a crack ship haha I don’t really have a reason to ship it tbh, I just think Teru’s personality would fit nicely with Bo and Kuroo - Teru’s one of my fave characters in Haikyuu and I like shipping my faves around, but he’s interacted with only his teammates and Karasuno so everything else is just crack... I like a whole bunch of Teru ships tbh, bokuroteru is the one I’ve drawn the most for a bit by accident and a bit because they’re the ones with the most entertaining possible dynamics, to me? They’re a bunch of excited silly kids, that’s fun!

Anon said:I am literally in tears over the last chapter when will Horikoshi step away from my sunshine boy and let him rest? This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted Kirishima to have a bigger role in this arc

;-; boi do I feel this ask

(I still want more of him tho, last time he hadn’t been around for a few weeks I was a complete mess, pls don’t take him away from me again Hori ;A;)

Anon said:Fraannnnn why would you do this I had enough feelings about THIS EXACT SCENARIO and you had to go and make me feel more with your beautiful art How could you

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m taking this as you’ve liked it!!! Which makes me happy tbh haha though I’m sorry for the more pain, that wasn’t my intention #oops thank you anyway, tho!!

Anon said:i wanted to cry bc of ch 143, kiri was amazing and fat was amazing and and .... but really though ...hori just doesn't wanna give it to us, does he ?

I don’t think I’ll ever have Kirishima’s backstory at this point. I’m giving up. I’ll just make up my own version of it. Kirishima’s had a beautiful past with a lot of happiness a great family with loving parents and both older and younger siblings that love him more than they love air, he’s got three pet turtles and a dog and the only reason why he had his hair dyed black was because he went through a really intense goth phase. That’s it, that’s my version, Hori can keep the sadness for himself

(...not please gimme the actual backstory already I’m dying)

Anon said:U ok after ch143, Fran? 'cause I'm not... 😭

...how can anyone love Kirishima and be okay after 143 tbh ;-;

Anon said:your answers to the ask for what would baku get the others ommmmmmg. fran you are AMAZING!! >///

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m happy you liked those omfg!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you!!!!

Anon said:I feel so bad abt the new chap bc my boy kiri is gonna hate himself so much abt being '''useless''' even if he wasnt and oh goodness he's going to beat himself up for this forever... i thought hori was gonna give him a sudden 'bout of strength & realization' to beat the enemy, but instead hes getting quite the realistic(which is good but sad) outcome from the fight... hes gonna be so mad with himself while recovering boy pls no u were great ;~;

I really hope something’ll happen and he won’t feel like that, but who knows ;-; on one side it would mean that his character arc still isn’t over, which is a lot more Kiri for me and that’s great, but on the other please don’t make him suffer anymore ;;--;;

Anon said:Though it was kinda 'forced', thank you for drawing mineta. I really liked seeing him in your art style. He's perverted but like Denki he's a good kid as well, too bad most people have him blacklisted. Hopefully that will change in the future. Thanks again ;D

You’re most welcome! As I said once already I don’t really care for Mineta, so including him in stuff when it makes logical sense to isn’t much of a problem for me hah maybe, if I’m lucky, one day he’ll grow as a character and out of the walking trope he is, and that might just mean I’ll start drawing him more by himslef too haha

Anon said:i havent been involved in a fandom for 4 years but now i am and its ur fault with ur gay boys i cant handle all it, fk my life. (ps. love how u draw denki, his hair so floofy, bless u)

!!! Happy you like my take on him!!! :O also I love how you called them “your gay boys” yes, yes they are, my beautiful gay boys hahaha

Anon said:Thanks to you I'm absolutely obsessed with bakushimanari and I can't get out. It's literally???? The cutest friggin thing??? I can't believe I never thought of it before coming across your blog. But now it's my OT3 and!!! Thank you for introducing me to this sweet ship!!! I absolutely adore your art and it inspires/motivates me to make my own fluff filled fanart.

YAY OH MY GODS!!!!!!!!!!!!! more bakushimanari fans I can make happen the more I’m happy, tbh!!!! they’re soft and good and happy I wish there’d be more of them around aaahhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:you color nicely (｀∇´)

sob thank youuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this actually means to me more than you probably thought it would haha rip bless ur soul anon

Anon said: ti adoro bye

GAH non sono certa di meritarmi addirittura un adoro ma!!!!!! grazie ;A;!!!!

#fran answers #still can't draw #the suggestions are piling up in my inbox...#instead im coming up with more aus.........#i can't even draw them yet...........#have some answers meanwhile #leaving this blog inactive this long feels weird haha sob #anonymous

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transguykeith · 7 years

Note

i wanted to ask u a few of the writer asks but i can't decide which one i want to ask you most, could you answer all the asks? lmao if its too muh of a mission i can just decide on a few

It’s not like I’m doing anything else so yeah, why not. I just won’t ones that might not apply. I’ll put some of this under a read more:

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

usually some sort of character study of sorts mixed in with scattered events to lead to an ultimate end goal.

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

im a sucker for a good soulmate au, so maybe one of those eventually

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

i would never write an abo fic, just no

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

um, a LOT, like a ton of them my main one is a college au of sorts centering around Yuuri and Phichit as well as Victor, its title is Made of Stars and its gonna be fun to write

5. Share one of your strengths.

i mean, i guess im okay at character studies, but i dunno, im really not super great

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

pretty much everything, im not great at connectivity or writing in a pretty style. like i just kinda write, im not particularly great at it

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

This is from chapter 5 of You’re Not Alone:He danced because he skated, and he skated because skating was flying. And somewhere along the way he forgot what had drawn him to it the first place. He supposed that that was what he was searching for some days, that spark that started everything.

That spark that started a fire, a fire that’s flames were the smallest they had ever been. It was almost funny how one small moment could all but extinguish him. A spark started it all, ballet was just kindling, ice skating was logs, and he was a forest ablaze. But it was as if that one moment had sucked the oxygen from the air and the flames died, it suffocated him.

This is a bit flowwier than some of what i write, it’s one of my favorite lines because it encompasses what i have him feeling in that exact moment

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I think this is one of my favorites, it’s from chapter 17 of You’re Not Alone:

“I’m glad too,” Otabek smiled. “It’s how this doing goes though. You dedicate your soul, mind, and body to the ice and you don’t always get to leave without losing something to it. It’s give and take, we’re all just caught in an intricate dance until the fates bottom us out one way or another.”

“When did you go all serious on me?” Yuri teased. He had gotten used to Otabek’s propensity for the occasional dramatic monologue though, they gave a good look into the head of his friend.

“Think about it Yuri,” Otabek clearly wasn’t done. “Here we are, the pinnacle of humanity, literally trying to carve a place for ourselves in history. We have to fight the fundamentals of the universe to do what we do, work against gravity itself all while having a timer above our heads. Who knows when it will expire and the ice will take it all away. We fight everything to be able to do this: the laws of physics, the passing of time, even our own bodies. That’s what makes you a soldier, we all fight this fight but you’re out there with a makeshift helmet and a sharpened stick while the rest of us have full armor and swords. And who is it that we see winning the battle time and time again, you.”

“Did you really drag me out here to give a dramatic monologue on how impressive I am,” Yuri flushed at the barrage of compliments. “You’re such a dork,” he buried his face in his hands.

I just really like how it turned out.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

I guess You’re Not Alone just because of how long it is, but it depends. some of it has been very easy to write and some of it ( ahem my current chapter) has been really hard

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

I’ve written a lot of little drabbles and one shots that i havent posted anywhere but the easiest was probably the little request i did yesterday which is either titled “Pretty Darn Cute” or “The second prettiest boy in the world”

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

a little bit of both really

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

if you have an idea, write it down immediately. it doesnt matter if youre currently engaged in something else, write that shit down or you WILL lose it

14. What��s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

not necessarily advice, but like the idea of only writing it if you think its good

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

can I say Yuri Plisetsky and happiness, because yes

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

I tend to write my chapters in order, but within each chapter i jump around a bit and then connect everything

18. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

I have an outline in my head that i sometimes write down, im usually good about following it

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

my muse is the genderless ghost that haunts me it stares into my cold soul and pokes me until i words

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

I prefer it to be kind of dark and i like to be nice and cozy, though sometimes ill be struck with random inspiration and have to write it no matter where i am

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Ha, revising?! whats that

25. What do you look for in a beta?I have never had a beta, but if i did have one i would like someone to help me idea bounce and keep my writing from sounding choppy

26. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

I haven’t but i would be willing to if anybody wanted me to. I’m pretty good with general editing skills and idea flow

30. Do you accept prompts?

yes! please send me prompts i love them. I cannot exaggerate how much i appreciate being sent prompts

31. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

i would say im right in the middle about this, it really depends on what im writing though

32. How do you feel about smut?

ive never really tried my hand at it, i havent written anything that calls for it, but my next fic might

33. How do you feel about crack?

i kind of have written some stuff that could be considered borderline crack, but most of it isnt fanfic and i havent shared that

34. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

personally, i probably wouldn’t write it, but if its necessary for a backstory then maybe but certainly not in detail

35. Would you ever kill off a canon character?

oh certainly, just depends on the fic im writing

36. Which is your favorite site to post fic?

ao3

37. Talk about your current wips.

my main wip is Youre Not Alone and that one is getting close to its end, i know where it’s going and how it will end i just have to write my way there, but I’ve had some pretty bad writers block in regards to it lately

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

i got this one really long review gushing about how much my story meant to them and how reading it always made their day feel better and that was just such a nice review and it made me really happy. Another one i really liked was somebody complimenting something i did that a lot of other people complained about so i really appreciated that one

39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

ive gotten a few upset reviews about something i included in You’re Not Alone, but i cant do much about it. i once got a review about four chapters in asking why yuri had a menstrual cycle and this wasnt rude exactly, but how do you read that far without knowing he’s trans in my fic

#ask #this was long #here you go though #lee you gotta not

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haeroniel-doliet · 6 years

Text

dwhos here for another raaaaaant (vent)? topic is friendships but lets see where thisll go! waheyy let us insert the read more.

kayokay okay welcome youre gonna regret this; if you havent read through my shitty vents before prepare for ilegibility and thought trains going all over the place and references to things and people youll never know okay great you got off this train? cool gives me more power to crash it see ya.

okay where do we even begin, oh lets go wild and push out a couple topics first. one is; how shit has improved being uni and how everything seems awful brighter now; why it hasnt actually improved and im lonely as ever; how lonely have i always been; but am i really lonely or just think i should have more bc expectations; why im like this and cannot form relationships

lets start with a bit of a history dive eh eh this is what youre here for, me oversharing my life to nobody thatll read it but come on anyway bc one of the reasons i even fucking do these is because; ironically enough; i have no friends to vent this to!! nobody who actually gives a shit!! and even if they did i have a lot more words and confused thoughts to write out here that would just be really mean to inflict on someone else.

ok so, classically as a kid ive almost grown as an only child, obviously have a big bro of 7 yrs older that i never formed more of a bond to than the one we share by sharing a family. aka we barely talk. but like i know he doesnt hate me i guess? ok im not gonna go there. its a weird mess. but. all childhood was mostly me playin by myself bc our family friends had kids his age not mine, and we moved around a bunch too and people came in and out, i guess i made ‘best friends’ pretty easily, but none stuck around longer than a year maybe 2-3. bc thats how life was and as a child i guess it wasnt a bother bc hey, let me be friends with everyone! oh but protective parents also mean mostly on my own. thats cool. im totally mature to be sitting at the adults table (there was no kids table) well early at 6-7. mhmmm

lemme return to finland and start being an early awkward preteen! oh ill be friends with everyone! oh. everyone already has their best friend or best friend group? oh i get left on the playground alone ‘playing the dog at home while they go shopping okay playground games were lame but whaddyou do’ aight cool im okay with this theyre all my friends and im gona draw you all to make friends and nobody like actually bullies me or thinks im weird i guess, anyway school work. oh okay ill make best friends w my neighbour bc were only 7 days apart in age and thats crazy!! i guess we also make friends with lil girls next door bc were 10- 12 and thats what u do. sure. i feel rather criticised by my so called bff bc. we are not on the same wavelength, i feel dumb, im never as funny even if they are hilarious to me, i do gross things w out thinking (imagine having to be told by your friend that you need to buy deodorant when you never thought abt it) and like a bunch of other stuff like not picking up on social cues they dont wanna hang out with me or they dont think looking at funny pictures on the phone is fun... oh okay i mean i guess theyre way better than me but were still friends right? uh yeah.

okay lets take a gap and go to uk, oh wow, SHIT people actually miss me at home?? im making friends with all these kids in my neighbourhood! oh i can be like the movies where they go down the street and hang out and have movienights awesome! who this is the best! fucking halloween w other 13 yr olds?? having hobbies w them? walking to the bus together and home together?? mad. wild. friends. lets ignore the school consisting of pricks and the only time in my school career ive gotten bullied. like classic bullying. pens thrown at me, butt touched, skirt lifted, name called, teasing my ‘naivety’ (do you work at the dildo factory? haahah. are you frigid? would you have sex with me if i bought you a burger?) oh 13-14 yr olds.... ok no its a wild really good and really shit year combined into an okay year. let me just return home and promise to keep in touch and really very barely keep in touch with any of them. thanks instagram for enabling minimal contact and keeping up w each other.

(also back then made my first post cryin to tumblr oh why cant i have tumblr besties like everyone else seems to, please someone be my internet buddy! lucky enough actually talked to Amelia a lot, though...... 14 yr old and abt 20 smth. but we played minecraft together and made two shit youtube videos of our competition participation like. you were a good friend to me. never pushed it too far and i really liked having a mature friend. such a shame you seem to have disappeared off the internet (anywehre i know how to reach you) bc hell, i would not have been opposed to meeting you finally irl at fuckin mcm like i always kinda wanted to bc i saw ppl online do, anyway i hope ur life is good and thanks)

kay so, finally back home weve all moved past the best friend cliques okay okay my class is actually fuckin rad like whaddu you know i dont have to aggressively swear and avoid hugs anymore (self defence from that shitty year) but actually have all these wholesome friends, ofc there were stronger relationships between some people but! i was included. i felt good. it was good. i figured out this being everyones friend thing. im a proper teen now eh. oh but i still had my best friend (briefly moirail) maxx! talking everyday at least for least half an hour if not more, skype calls... watching movies together... sending shit to canada and that one mail i got from you and planning so hard a visit there, even if it felt unrealistic. maybe even spending too much time on you and not making as many connections to my class friends as i could have, u know. stuck on my phone to always be available to you. making you more important. dunno how often id talk thru a crisis in class or however late at night bc, i wanted to be there for you! i loved being needed and being an important piece in moving thru tough times. sure detrimental maybe irl but i was being too much online anyway which i still do but were not there yet. besides, that relationship has had a bit of a roller coaster in the past nearly4 yrs (is it more?) shit that started from an rp and then slowly talking more to being moirails to being the tightest best friends “momma” and all, to your irl friends breaking it up slowly, then a boyfriend really took oyur time and we didnt talk daily lt alone ever get to call bc... shit. okay but i was friends with your boyfriend and though i saw it wouldnt last i was okay with it, like right cool thats teh boyfriend and im the bestfriend. im still involved. yeah man. oh you broke up and now talk more to me! fuck yeah. ill take your side in this regardless. lets get close again even if its not quite the same. i try join your cosplay groups though i cant help feeling me joining killed them, and i followed some you were passionate on! drew all those rad characters of you and your friends to feel adequate and appreciated. then you ad your drama, hated this kid and i wasnt even rly involved. all of a sudden, tight friends, oh i get to be in a chat w you both and a rad other person i had a mild crush on! rad. hell yeah. ive never been in a groupchat like this! this is great i love it. and the vikings came up. and your new friend left bc i was a cis girl and he has problems and could not deal with me not agreeing with his shit argument. (about my countrys history!!) anyway. they make their groupchat, groupchats die. oh. great i ruined it. okay. i no longer know whats in your life.... oh youre best friends now? i kind of have to bug you to even get added to your ‘friends page’ as dumb as it is. i get knocked right aside as hes the bff and the greatest sweetest person ever even though he still seems like a major dick and even your cool older friend agrees with me..... a load of bullshit and weve drawn apart to barely talking once a week and ive still sent you many gifts bc i think its great! until. yeah i wasnt gonna send anymore till you promised to set me up with cosplay pieces for christmas and i freak out to send you smth in return (never got more than measurements from me, and due to shit timing i didnt even get to be there for you opening the presents which fuckin ruined it) but whats this? a year on im fucking coming to america and conviced my parents to also go to canada???? fucking insane. still we dont talk much, the plans werent like i expected but i met you and the cool older friend! amazing! it happened! youre real! i brought you more gifts and i got pictures with you and its, it doesnt feel real still. i keep the fucking bus ticket i took from toronto to guelph to remind me. sure i didnt like get much from you back and thats kay different monetary situations and all and yeah. wild. oh but we still barely talk after? no its ok i get it youre not that good with texting people anymore (even if you kept texting you bff while i was there.... like. maybe he was having a crisis i can understand but... please you barely talk to me anymore and now amazingly im there and. you still talk to him a lot. okay...) ‘ew were not dating were just best friends!” a month later becomes ‘this is my boyfriend and bff i love him more than anything else in the world” ‘oh but hes absolutely a huge mean prick who is super self centered and manipulative,’ and i guess you needed to feel needed like i did and dedicated everything to this shitstorm of a human but. okay... weve drifted apart further, till i demanded thru to your discord (not even active anywhere else) and try damn hard to still talk to you. but its just not genuine. i wanna talk abt important shit to me and worries about myself, but life is difficult on you and i dont feel like you do the same to me so i cant. is it no longer part of our relationship? i guess)

anyway chapter; who the fuck cares; why i feel i can open up to internet friends more than irl ones;;coming up, the other irl exploits after 9th grade.

internet friends are based on talking over text and emotions that come up in the moment and contacting them whenever. with irl people, ive always set a sort of boundary that like. our quota of talking is irl. i might message you online but its strictly related to irl things or smth we discussed irl, u feel? even then i mostly never message anyone (thank the two friends in uni ive talked to more than anyone else) but still. theyre people i will unload burdens to IRL when im sitting with them for hours talking about our fucked up relationships with things and life and thats beautiful. but its not consistent through life? like rn all this shit. i cant just go and vent tto you (i guess i could but who knows if youre mad busy and needa be up early tomorrow or are already sleeping or have other shit on your mind, let alone would be offednede by me being so explicit abt me feelings w friendship u being my friend.) anyway, internet friends have broken that and sometimes i talk abt dumb shit ive seen that remind me of them or i wanna get a reaction from someone about and sometimes this bullshit. but more recently, (my discord has fuckin 3 ppl) i cant. i mean. idk if ever could and now theyre just being better w themselves but i cant? Ana tries being a friend and a good online friend but. i cant take it any deeper than like, look how cool this is! yeah that is cool bc theyre exhausted and dont wanna deal w others bullshit and dont want me to deal with theirs bc theyre online to avoid it. all of which i understand but. its kind of hard to deal with. like. youre currently only passionate about your gays in southpark. two things i dont care bout jack shit (actually hate south park idec) and then your response to me just like contemplating quizzes or the way i felt in the mirror at ballet or like smth that comes up to me when im talking abt normal shit, i get an ok, i dk how to respond or, i dont really care. and wildly i love the honesty, and glad to have lines drawn for me when i dont see them, but it always feels like a smack in the face regardless. having stepped out of line and not having realised and stopped before they had to tell me to stop. like it was w that old neighbour bff. i could never tell when she wanted me to leave her alone or smth bc i was having fun! but shed be tired of it and it just. always hurt realising i was too wrapped up in emotion and myself to realise i was annoying or overstepping boundaries and im still terribly self concious about it bc i feel terrible being a bad person like that! i wanna be the perfect friend.ugh.

the other people on my discord are maxx and the cool older canadian dan, who still is rly cool and admirable. and i feel bad. bc when i first got the dumb thing i talked to him like adults! yea! talked abt maxx and a bit of college and a bit of life and like. it was good! he said good night friend <3 which is like!!! the most wild and exciting thing it fuckin exhilirates me to be called friend in converstion like please fuck validate me being your friend!!!! (god isnt that sad and basically gonna sum up this whole thing) anyway recently im sure things have been sad or busy or hes just that kinda person but my last 4? attempts for convo have gotten no response, even when hes online (supposedly when its ok to message him) and i no longer want to say anything unless its smth im sure id get a response to. bc then im just buggering and annoying the poor guy and become annoying. (even if hes said he doesnt mind and thinks im a great person. i hope) and maxx u know. i can message, and i do, and now more than in a rly long time i- oh my god i get responses!! still they cut short. theres no, hey sorry i dont care or, hey i gotta go, or hey i dont wanna talk abt this, just. no more responses. and i guess my conversational skills are rusty and i havent written anything thatd get an easy response from them! (but stilll, should talking to friends rly require you to formulate conversation starters and talk in a way that doesnt provoke too much but is just easy enough for them to respond briefly and with no investment to make talking to me easy as possible? idk even iguess? maybe im shit at having friends and thats why i have none. shush.)

okay lets head back to irl. high school was shitty weird thing, around 10 ppl in class and i only made friends w 3? got bullied for a good couple days on a trip by 1 and another class person. terrible trying to make friends and keep friendly with everyone in a tiny school but i managed and alls good, and even still, just made friends with the most compatible people, not sure if id have been friends with otherwise. one a nervous wreck of a boy that the teacher tried to like ‘ship us together with’ but while he had a girlfriend and we managed to keep conversation joking and chill (as it should be and i made good sure of it) it was fine, he still like i a very girlfriend oriented person and i guess doesnt chat much online w other girls? im cool with it, a couple snap updates on life here an there its whatever. youre an anxious person anyway and we dont always like. work as friends. another was from japan, who id decieded to make a friend if only to have a friend in japan to visit and to teach me a bit (and teach us to make food! okay im so glad we were friends) and at school it was great enough. helped her get confident in speaking english and correcting work and sitting together at lunch and hanging out outside of school on the rare occasion schedules lined up was fab! i actually am gonna miss her. even if we werent close. and i feel bad bc idk if she wants to keep in contact, and i really suppose i should just aim to write her like a text once a month or so to keep in touch thatd be good, cover that. keep up english and so on. maybe (ps old friends from childhood pop up every now and then on social media and have the rare chat which is quite nice actually! even if im not active or keep them updated, some realtionships i like to leave lukewarm and not hateful but smth thats easy to catch up with if opportunity comes up. i actually can do that quite a lot, make good conversation and feel friendly and make acquaintances. i just. have no idea how to push them to proper active friendships (it just happens sometimes by accident) and no absolute clue how to make htat into a very close “bff we share everything i can message you whenever” kinda relationship classic media like facebook portrays idk. do i need it? i guess not but i kinda wanna know what thats like bc relationships are not a thing for me. lets make that its own paragraph) oh but also on old school friends my frustration of a few days, just. a friend that is the easiest to keep in touch with bc they intitiate and have time and want to do things, but god its annoying and i dont like them. our humours dont align and i feel judged and criticised and like. idk. dont feel great w them. theres moments of like genuine “im glad i met you bc i would have switched schools otherwise” from her and a jar of reminders why were friends and some good memories, but its just. she drains me. and i dont wanna talk deep w her. and though to some other friend it seems like we are heckin dating in secret bc of how comfortable we are and how much we end up communicating to organise things, uhm were not. i wouldnt date her ever im sorry. struggling to stay friends and have it fade to the background amicably before i do or say smth wrong and fuck it up. anyway its just bugging me and i hate it bc i feel bad for her and bad for myself and its just a mess that i dont wanna deal with that mucheven if i talked my parents ear off about it.

ok intermission to parents. in a way no. no fuck they are not my friends. my mom will never be my best friend and i dont think they want that either,being classic parents and allbut i guess, sometimes when i get past the ugh youll never understand youre so god damn annoying!! teenage phase my brain still has, i do talk to them about a lot of things that upset me, bc unlike friends, they cant decide not to care about me or stop talking to me u know. i have vented about shit practices that have really tested my self worth and lack of emotions (remind sobbing like a bitch with a mud covered ass walking home from a terrible skating practice and falling in the rain) and mom comforting thru it. mind telling them all the pent up feelings abt flatmates and analysing them to her like”well shes rly nice and we talk abt this and this but i cant help but feel she doesnt really wanna talk to me and also they didnt wanna hang out and they keep leaving their dishes and told me to clean mine but they did this and that and....” i never talk about internet friends or a lot abt other things bc. not relevant and i dont think id hear what i wanna hear. but im kinda glad i still can do that and vent to them abt like real life things and things that upset me even if its not exhaustive and i cant do everything and they dont fill the gap of this “true best friend” i have emulated. but thats a point of why im not rly lonely. bc i have outlets to a lot of these needs that im not missing it all . just dont have it all in one person or even a small group of ppl.

wht next. oh remind me to come back to group things online. anyway lets give uni a try. so weve talked abt my two impressive friends irl who take the same course as me and kind of have dragged me thru and have gone to hobbies w me and hung out w me for hours and actually come to visist me in london an been cool? yeah theyre pretty rad people and very smart and im glad theyre in my life. even if w al the ranting im not comfortable messaging them all hours of the night to talk abt all my insecuritites and thoughts and problems u know. and one is dating and both have flatmate drama and other groups of friends and tho theyre friends between each other we dont like. make the ultimate trio which is why were not moving in together ( also reminder to being called the 3 musketeers w my high school two gals bc we were seein kinda doing everything together (in school) by me sticking us all together with my “i need to feel validated with friends” glue. that was quite nice.)

but like in uni, ive said it to a lot of people. its amazing. ive never been happier knowing this many people. i dont make drama, i almost never get included in any drama so all i get are friends!!! and having flatmates, and flatmates friends, and class mates, and people ive just met , and hobby friends i just knew so many people thatd be friendly to me and even smile at me in passing it feels great man. having multiple group hobbies and socials to go to (even if i dont drink much and its not like were partying) it feels good man. i want more of this next term now that i have no”i dont know anyone there” excuses. god i love it. i love waving to people i know, i love getting a ride from someone to go hang out t another friends place and people knowing me by name and caring about my presence! (though not too much, like nobody would miss me i guess, but i still have more of a place to carve and i cant say for sure that they did not notice me missing) anyway archery has been terrbily wholesome and one of the best things ive invested time into and im sad some of the happy faces there are leaving this summer....... and sure none of these friends have gone even to proper hugging levels, let alone talking together without a group of people or god, messaging privately if not strictly club stuff (ok theres like, a couple, one that im delighted about and cant wait to hang w in finland even tho theyre cooler than me) but u know, same problem w. hm were friends within this hobby group. were not like. actually friends outside of this and wouldnt hang outside of it. uh. yeah. dont rly have that many that kinda friends..... just 2 in fact. ill work on that....

side note, i try joining in online groups like mxrp discords, and an odd skype chat for homestuck cosplayers. but its kinda the worst. i dont mind observing and reading in and commenting in my head and rarely actually participating tho nobody knows who i am, but like. nobody knows who i am or cares if im there at all. and its kind of a not great feeling. im not needed or wanted here. they just dont mind me being there u know. idk wht to do with those feelings. i dont really wanna make myself obnoxiously present and make people remember and want to talk to me and actually become immersed in it, bc these dont seem like that great people idk. i guess im too ‘mature’ to just go omg i love you an all that.

anyway lets dive into hmmmmmm why am i still lonely? funny question eh. its because i have no consistent close relationships with anyone. have i ever? maxx was closest but i guess nawh here we are. i can get close to u in a night of just talking for hours but. if it doesnt carry through consistently does it count? i have a couple people to message when im delighted abt smth (heck even post to snapchat to get those lukewarm friendships to be reminded of me) and i have my parents to be sad to about a certain category of things that i share w them (like hobby frustrations and friends theyve met frustrations, and some body upset) i have this hunk of friends in uni i can hang out and chill with and will continue making better friends with gladly. im not an isolated herrmit (all the time) nor do i think im socially despicable. im just. normal. online ive felt more and more as much as i spend my entire day online w all these things im not an internet person??im not always posting on social media, im not always talking to 10 ppl at once, im not writing or creating media, im not consuming other than youtube actually, (like i dont watch shows u knw) , all i do is rp when i muster the strength and hang out lukewarm on tumblr posting rants and reblogging pretty and fun things, not getting involved much. not a fan of anything, not obsessed w anything, not overtly gay ( i dont even know what i am but girls are pretty and sex and relationships get gross as soon as you add me into the picture) and not an exciting personality. hell. i currently fuckin like ballet and archery and like. thats about it. (also hahahhahh catch me going down the abc list of hobbies, aikido, archery, badminton (w archery ppl) ballet. what next. cricket? crochet... cooking? dance (ballet) fencing gaming (hah no), hockey? ice skating ( im already doing it) like look at me anyway shh) im not trans and i dont feel gay enough to fit in (what a rant that is, but im just ignoring it for now) im so boring. too reational, too uninvolved, too unopinionated/have an opinion but prefer to keep quiet and at peace. i guess this is what normal people are like off the internet. and ill just deal with it. but how normal people fill the gap are these ridiculously idealistic bff groups that i clearly dunno how to achieve, and uh. relationships.

so i can foresee a future where an imaginative foggy figure will care about me so much and want to hear all these rants and talk about all my wild thoughts with me and love me and remind me of it and be happy around me and think im funny and make me feel good and loved and better than i am and be someone i love being aorund constantly and wont have to feel self concious with or like i need to be putting on the front that is not gross and is a lovely sociable person. like i doubt they even exist. the kind im specifically thinking off thatll make life a sunset gold and unbelievably happy and good. ill save that sunset gold feeling to my dream future, one in which im happy with my body and personality and have that shadowy figure that makes me all whole and better than im alone and all these pets and animals that i love and love me and plants and color and art and whimsical decorations and yknow. i see it in my head. it feels real good. i kinda wanna see if itll actually happen. it just. it feels so fuzzy and warm and i would love for that actually be real and look back on this and be like. i have it. everythings complete. we can dream. i might get it when im grey and old and all alone but found smth that makes it that good. anyway im not discounting that there might be ‘the one’ in that future, the perfect one. but. i still doubt in the present when or if ill ever meet them let alone if i do htat anything would happen. ive never ever dated anyone or even come close to it. i dont understand how people just, end up in relationships or almost always have one, and i guess im not trying to bc idk if i want it- idk if im ready for it, but its a weird one ill tell u. i feel with this perfect imaginary figures all these bad feelings would go away and i could talk about them and someone help me fix them and become more and better than my thoughts. but i dont wanna look for one. i dont wanna experiment in relationships so that im ready and wont fuck it up when the one comes bc, its horrendous and stressful and im gross! im not dating material. nah. and obviously nobodys tried to date me so were all on the same page. honestly once i sort out the other things wrong w me, i might just get to therapy for this shit. like. why are relationships such a shit concept to me and like why and how do i deal with it without just saying fuck it relationshipss are not for me. i have no doubt ill keep making connections and friends throughout my life in all different random places, but im actually... kinda afraid none will stick around. if i cant form consistent strong friendships theyre al gonna fade away and ill have nobody when i need someone. having that one solid person would really help bc theyre there thick and thin i guess aparently. i have myself, but considering what a mess i am idk if thats enough at all. i think i should change myself an awful lot though before a relationship could happen. like. nobody wants a barely showering fat chubby in an awkwardway terrible skinned messy sad blabbery person. like. just a gross one. i gotta become so much better before i can even consider letting someone past to get this close i guess. i guess. these feelings are really not settling here and i feel off the rocker. like unsettled and uneasy. also i need to pee which is rly not helping feel less gross. that and my hair is nasty greasy bc rather than take a shower at a reasonable time i did.... nothing. and then i started writing this an hour, two hours ago? more? idk.

kay then, we have reflected briefly while i was away on how fat and ugly i am and how hopeless considering ive been trying to finish a knitting project for my baby cousin and start drawing again or even just playing my old pokemon game (yknow summer vacay) things in the past few days. nawh. havent. even more productively i should have done actual exercise to build my stamina and make faster improvements in ballet and actually try and tackle the fat and ugly feeling in 8 weeks (but that like... requires diet control... which is hard?) and like o u know. finishing my fucking university course ive lied to everyone abt? ok lets be real i have passed the year and can move into the next w the credits i have and passed all the mandatory classes. but. i want/ need to pass this class. and i already forked out 30 pounds hopefully correctly to apply for a resubmission (more like first submission) of all these projects and its hard. considering in my hirearchy of shit that needs to be done (easiest most necessary first) i havent even reached the first ladder of like washing my nasty hair. the ladder includes all the above projects and at the end of it is like completing that course (needs to be done by the end of the month u kno bitchh. u dont know how long its gonna take you cannot leave it to the last few days. and this other bulshit course idk if ill even get credit for completing late and dont know if i care but i guess i gotta do it anyway

basically i just wanna d ie. thatd be nice. id not have to feel fat and stupid and worthless and discomfrot in my own skin and just. nasty and numb but bad all over. okay im really not feeling great bout now. but thanks to all the above weve realised i have nobody to talk to whod talk me out of these feelings and comfort me (let alone if im capable as a person to accept that considering theyd have to be very convicing to get past me going “mhmmm but youre wrong” )

anyway this has been terribland i havent achieved anything but feelin kinda bad. we have covered that ive never had proper friendships and that might be detrimental to me ever forming the kind of close companionship i seem to be missing, however at least i can make easy friends briefly and as such know im not a terrible person thru and thru that people hate. i just dont know how to cross that nd not be horribly annoying or how to find those kind of people bc shit and bullshit. do i need it? no i guess ill be fine. would it make my life better and more worth it? probably. id hope so. i mean it seems pretty important in human existence for there to be so damn many songs and movies and aboslutely everything focused around it.

anyway. i know nobodys gonna finish reading this and i kinda hope i dont read back on this either. my cringey diary moments hidden under a readmore on tumblr. whats sadder.... tsk who wants to figure out how many words this all is?

mhmmmm mmm 7 pages on word and 6059 words. damn gurl. no FUCKIN WONDer nobody wants to talk to me about my thoughts and feelings when they just erupt. bc even by erupt i mean a mild discomfort that im trying to pin down to a cause and an actual feeling so and so unsuccessfully.

#tf when youre your own therapist #hah yeah thanks tumblr for being my digital diary #cringey enough and private enough it may as well never be read by anyone #but still if some crazy dumbass read it all theyd know me all too god damn well #but its not like...anyone ive mentioned will ever fucking read it. even consider to #aka #if you stumble past this #i guess you can assume its not abt you #ugh #this didnt even help that much #time to try option c #ignore everything and numb it with some rad youtbe videos for another 4 hrs and crash asleep at 5 am and everything continues to be bad #but like bad tomorrow #sorry this was a vent post #a very long one over 6000 words #i am SO sorry if youre on mobile and the readmore didnt work

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apsbicepstraining · 6 years

Text

TLC:’ I will never forget the day we were millionaires for five minutes’

On the comeback trail, the 90 s megastars reflect on bankruptcy, diverting down Britney and what Lisa Left Eye Lopes would be like on Twitter

TLC are in the back of an Uber XL in the middle of Londons Oxford Circus, sunshine streaming through the windows, with a hottie standing in full view at the crossing. Jesus! Did you look at this guy? Lord have mercy. Why didnt you get his ass on camera? He is byoo-tee-full . Traffic and exchange is gridlocked; Chilli craves her bandmate T-Boz, their cameraman, makeup artist, press officer, the operator and me to acknowledge the drop-dead sumptuous specimen, beefy in muscle and hyper-groomed of look, outside the window.

Look, hey, I desire somewhat guys, but come near now, you are able to grant it up. Tell the truth.

I shrug, ambivalent, and “re just telling me” hes not my category. T-Boz, who has spent the last few minutes scratching her knuckles reminiscing about the fights she used to get into, constricts her attentions. What ?! she says. What is your character? Why dont you tell us what your category is? Even if hes not your kind, you have to say hes cute. Hes not my category, either, but I can see hes good examining. The whole parcel was working for him: the “hairs-breadth”, the muscles What is your category?

The brightness change and the two laughter, a conspiratorial chuckle that follows often of their converse over the next 24 hours. TLC making a respectable comeback in 2017 is, its fair to say, sudden. Despite insisting that theyve been working solidly behind the scenes the whole time touring internationally, writing movie dialogues, setting up a fitness blog the group vanished from public consciousness sometime in the early 00 s.

Watch the video for Way Back.

Collectively though, the three twentysomething dames from Atlanta, Georgia Tionne T-Boz Watkins, Rozonda Chilli Thomas and Lisa Left Eye Lopes owned the 90 s: their brand of sultry R& B, silky enough to woo the masses but glitchy enough to keep them interesting, has constructed them the most successful US girl group of all time. Their two biggest books, CrazySexyCool( 1994) and Fanmail( 1999 ), sold more than 20 m mimics between them, with other singles and albums helping to rack up a total sales pull of around 65 m worldwide.

Thats a behemothic rank of success that was felled first by the bands bankruptcy in 1995, then by the tragic deaths among Lopes, at 30, in 2002.

I slept a lot, says Thomas of that time. When youre depressed and you sleep a lot I did that and stayed in my area. I didnt watch Tv and I certainly didnt listen to radio or used to go because everywhere wed disappear, someone would have something to say.

And theyd be smiling, more, microchips in Watkins, and then be like, Oh, Im so sorry, and then immediately, Can I have your autograph?

The two seemed hounded by the press, the public and their description. People are ghouls, says Watkins. I went words at my home 2 day after Lisa croaked, like, What are you going to do? and, Heres my demo, take a listen. But Lopes, who perished in road accidents on holiday in Honduras that April, was irreplaceable. TLC was ever a vehicle for a producer or a managers brand-new sound opening a revolving door for a new third member like, say, Destinys Child or the Sugababes was not an option.

They are much clearer than anybody else on what is and isnt TLC, their description boss, LA Reid, told Rolling Stone in 1995. They make it clearly articulated to the writers and creators on their projects what they will and will not sing. And because of that, theyll ever be a little onward. The radical turned away major songs, including Hit Me Baby One More Time( Its a great hymn but not every hit is for you. I couldnt hear us on that enter, says Thomas, diplomatically ).

We already did baby babe newborn, says Watkins, caressing her teeth.

Sister ordinance … ( left to right) Tionne T-Boz Watkins, Lisa Left-Eye Lopes and Rozonda Chilli Thomas in the Netherlands in 1992. Photo: Michel Linssen/ Redferns

TLCs distinct din stands written about and referenced by music blogs. And it still influences modern dad( accompany 2017 s biggest-selling single in the UK, Ed Sheerans Shape of You ). The radical characterized themselves by their three distinct identities: crazy, sex, refrigerate. Seven months after Lopes died, their fourth and least successful book, 3D, was secreted. We were upset, that was the label, says Watkins, of the book coming out. I guess their mourning stagecoach for us was a week, we werent recalling straight-from-the-shoulder or in a right frame of mind to be making decisions.

That first couple of years you think you were all right or at least better, and then you have a dreaming or something and youre messed up all over again, lends Thomas. It just really took is high time to heal.

Fifteen times on and in their late 40 s, the pair didnt think that they would be playing their first ever London gig. Mays lonely time at Koko in Camden Town sold out in a daytime, to an horde of followers singing and sweating on its sticky floorboards. We havent had bad concerts where weve been booed, but that was hard to believe, says Watkins, when we gratifies the next night in a salmon pink hotel suite. To come here and have beings singing TLC. It manufactures the adrenaline flow. Were always nervous before we go on stage, says Thomas, but I was exceptionally apprehensive this time. It didnt settle till I started doing it.

That the evidence was a triumph only follows TLCs made-for-TV-movie trajectory. Backing dancers in amber lame outfits, a truth choir, and thumped after reached opening with Diggin On Youand purposing with No Scrubs heightened it beyond the hurry of pop nostalgia. That said, new single Way Back, which boasts a Snoop Dogg verse where Lopes might have been, is pure 90 s street feeling throwback, but the pair affirm that theyre not attaches great importance to continuing trend, because, says Watkins, our music will always be relevant.

Hit girlfriends … TLC in Hollywood, 1999. Photo: Ron Davis/ Getty Images

What do you signify by throwback? questions Thomas.

Its inarguable that the two have worked hard to retain the essence of what reached them so massive in the first place: from the live creation down to Thomass still terrifyingly well-maintained washboard belly, they appear and sound as if theyve escaped a season capsule.

Some beings may say, Oh. you have the same haircut, says Watkins her angled blond bob gash as aggressively as she is. But first of all, second of all, and third of all: when you get the various kinds of iconic haircut that beings emulate, “youre calling” me. Its signature. Its true-blue: alongside The Rachel, Watkinss was the more popular haircut for gobby schoolgirls in the 90s. A slew of faux-bickering and tutting between the two follows as they debate the flaws of contemporary creators who, according to TLC, have no appreciation of performance, showmanship or style.

Celebrity changed, but what stays out to me is the altered in media, says Thomas. If Twitter was around when we were were out, Lisa would have “the worlds largest” adherents for sure. And maybe been in the most disturb, more? Oh my God, she would have been closed down multiple times.

Same with Instagram, says Watkins. If Instagram was taken away tomorrow there would be a lot of parties jobless right now cos theres a lot of public figure now made up of Instagram frameworks. She is unimpressed by influencers monetising their lifestyles online, but tries to hold back. Im not gonna knock your hubbub. Hustle on, girlfriend. “Its time” that hos are triumphing. An affirmative block-caps YEAH! comes from Thomas. But if you gonna be a ho, at the least sounds like a good ho and have to pay, Watkins continues. Ho-ism is working for people. Worst situation is to be a ho, spread your trash far and near and get nothing from it.

No scrubbing please, were TLC … Chilli ( left) and T-Boz. Image: Linda Nylind/ The Guide

Watkins wont be drawn on who she might be alluding to, but its still a surprise to hear her or Thomas claim a moral high ground over other women. TLC endorse female sexuality in their hymns and styling, and were early advocates of safe-sex campaigns( Lopes would even wear a condom on the left see of her glass ). Hitherto, says Watkins, she was offered $50,000 to stay a male fan and his wife at home So they could just stare at me amply clothed for five minutes , nothing else and she refused.

Chilli is scandalized. Fifty thousand! To bring kindnes and gaiety into that relationship, whats wrong with that ?! My husband at that time didnt crave me travelling, declares Watkins. He didnt have to know! squeal Thomas.

Both are single right now. Thomas has a son with TLCs ex-producer Dallas Austin, and Watkins is divorced with a son and teenage daughter. I wouldnt want to meet anyone right now, says Watkins. I do not want a mortal. If God slaps me in the are dealing with a good one, fine, but right now, I dont want to listen to your daytime, I dont want to care about your problems. I wouldnt be a good girlfriend right now; I dont want to have sex with nobody.

Oh, you poverty-stricken girlfriend! You good good girlfriend, says Thomas, cooing at Watkinss vagina.

Shell be all right, says Watkins, side-eyeing Thomas with a cat-like grin.

The pair live in different metropolitans now; Watkins is in Los Angeles, having precisely moved out of the neighbourhood the Kardashians live in, and Thomas has stayed in Atlanta, but they still finish each others sentences and slip into shorthand. You start off with so many friends, shows Watkins, but as you get older, you only need one or two. Im not open to just letting people into my life, I involve an asset not a liability.

Class behave … TLC announce a $25,000 Aids education scholarship in recall of Lisa Lopes at the 2002 MTV Awards. Picture: Kevin Kane/ WireImage

To their ascribe, the two ought to have categorically burned by the industry. To go bankrupt at the top of their honour and success still stings. I will never forget the day we were millionaires for literally five minutes, says Watkins. Because the cheque was written to us and we had to sign it over, back to[ Pebbles, their former administrator ]. But we wont get into that since were still in a lawsuit.

If I could go back, I are certainly change a couple of things business-wise, says Thomas. I have learned the hard way: signal your own cheques, make sure your taxes are in shape and whatever your firm is, its always good to get wise examined. If you dont have anything to hide, its not a worry.

Its not personal, contributes Watkins, hard as nails, its business. Everyone in this industry has only one plan. Auditors, lawyers, beings you think you know will keep running up the greenback. You have to watch your back on every corner.

Worse than the money was, of course, the loss of Lopes , that are actually dissolved that first, fantastical operate. The three had weathered everything together the backstabbing, the bankruptcy, the tabloid awarenes of Lopes igniting down the mansion of her then-football star boyfriend. Lisa was a starter. I dont start substance, I dont believes in disagreeing with people I dont know, says Watkins. I have a hard exterior, Im scary.

She was more intrepid, says Thomas. Im a friendly party but if I find out youre not cool, I get real cold.And, chortles Watkins, with Lisa, it depended on the working day. She was a Gemini, so she was about seven different beings. Neither Watkins or Thomas booze( Weve done this industry sober; were real clear about exactly what we doing ), though Lopes did and the three, tight because they are, were known to scrap often publicly. Gazing back, would they have done anything differently? Coulda, woulda, shoulda, says Watkins, her expression at its most slow and sleepy-eyed. It became us who we are, so at the end of the day, I just recollect Lisa as person or persons, a human being. I miss everything.

TLC by TLC is out on 30 June

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apsbicepstraining · 6 years

Text

TLC:’ I will never forget the day we were millionaires for five minutes’

On the comeback trail, the 90 s megastars reflect on bankruptcy, diverting down Britney and what Lisa Left Eye Lopes would be like on Twitter

Look, hey, I desire somewhat guys, but come near now, you are able to grant it up. Tell the truth.

Watch the video for Way Back.

Thats a behemothic rank of success that was felled first by the bands bankruptcy in 1995, then by the tragic deaths among Lopes, at 30, in 2002.

And theyd be smiling, more, microchips in Watkins, and then be like, Oh, Im so sorry, and then immediately, Can I have your autograph?

We already did baby babe newborn, says Watkins, caressing her teeth.

Sister ordinance … ( left to right) Tionne T-Boz Watkins, Lisa Left-Eye Lopes and Rozonda Chilli Thomas in the Netherlands in 1992. Photo: Michel Linssen/ Redferns

Hit girlfriends … TLC in Hollywood, 1999. Photo: Ron Davis/ Getty Images

What do you signify by throwback? questions Thomas.

No scrubbing please, were TLC … Chilli ( left) and T-Boz. Image: Linda Nylind/ The Guide

Oh, you poverty-stricken girlfriend! You good good girlfriend, says Thomas, cooing at Watkinss vagina.

Shell be all right, says Watkins, side-eyeing Thomas with a cat-like grin.

Class behave … TLC announce a $25,000 Aids education scholarship in recall of Lisa Lopes at the 2002 MTV Awards. Picture: Kevin Kane/ WireImage

TLC by TLC is out on 30 June

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apsbicepstraining · 6 years

Text

TLC:’ I will never forget the day we were millionaires for five minutes’

On the comeback trail, the 90 s megastars reflect on bankruptcy, diverting down Britney and what Lisa Left Eye Lopes would be like on Twitter

Look, hey, I desire somewhat guys, but come near now, you are able to grant it up. Tell the truth.

Watch the video for Way Back.

Thats a behemothic rank of success that was felled first by the bands bankruptcy in 1995, then by the tragic deaths among Lopes, at 30, in 2002.

And theyd be smiling, more, microchips in Watkins, and then be like, Oh, Im so sorry, and then immediately, Can I have your autograph?

We already did baby babe newborn, says Watkins, caressing her teeth.

Sister ordinance … ( left to right) Tionne T-Boz Watkins, Lisa Left-Eye Lopes and Rozonda Chilli Thomas in the Netherlands in 1992. Photo: Michel Linssen/ Redferns

Hit girlfriends … TLC in Hollywood, 1999. Photo: Ron Davis/ Getty Images

What do you signify by throwback? questions Thomas.

No scrubbing please, were TLC … Chilli ( left) and T-Boz. Image: Linda Nylind/ The Guide

Oh, you poverty-stricken girlfriend! You good good girlfriend, says Thomas, cooing at Watkinss vagina.

Shell be all right, says Watkins, side-eyeing Thomas with a cat-like grin.

Class behave … TLC announce a $25,000 Aids education scholarship in recall of Lisa Lopes at the 2002 MTV Awards. Picture: Kevin Kane/ WireImage

TLC by TLC is out on 30 June

The post TLC:’ I will never forget the day we were millionaires for five minutes’ appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2zAgmpS via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress

0 notes