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cryptidsofwakemoor · 7 months

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Chapter 4 - Pond Paranoia

After being spotted too many times stealing food in the city, and the lab narrowing down his general location as a consequence, Matchstick has to lay low for a while. Thankfully, there is one other fairly reliable place he can go for food, but he might run into something unexpected...

(CW: brief old wound mention in the second paragraph)

~*~

Mystic

Scampering off into the woods, he's left with his bounty of- whatever this food was. A small armload of orange circles, and a handful of chewy pebbles. Did it matter what they were, exactly? It was food! And if he was really craving something else later, he could try digging in trash cans under the cover of night again. He'd have a much easier time scurrying away unseen while the sky was dark.

Odd, how strangely free he felt, now. Clearly, he wasn't safe, not by any means. But he didn't have that awful metal collar around his neck anymore, or those tube things hooked into his back. He could still feel one of them poking into the back of his torso, but it didn't sting as much anymore. The wounded area had scabbed up- he could feel the rocky, cooled magmatic texture that was the byproduct of his broken skin. Lava blood didn't clean up very nice.

...

Hours pass. The sun- at least, he thinks it's the sun, based on what information he was able to piece together from listening in on conversations at the lab and out here- was on its way down to the horizon. Once it set, he was free to go about raiding. The drone cameras would be docked. If Aria really wanted to try hunting him in the night, they'd certainly have a time of it, given his natural camouflage.

Spooky

Little by little, he was able to figure out the timing better.

The people would go away for the most part after it's been dark outside for a little while, and those few who remained were a lot easier to avoid. Turns out that empty den had been the best hiding spot he could hope for, because as the days went by he found he could sleep in there while it was light out without fear of discovery, and was relatively free to roam at night. And of course, he would take this time to go out and collect food, then squirrel it away in the den with him.

Granted, he had a hard time going completely without detection. If he wanted something that wasn't stale or rotting, he had to take his chances during the day. He discovered a sort of wooded area that people would sometimes go to that had flat-topped wooden structures that people would sit at and put their food on, and there were a few that were close enough to the treeline where he could snag something if they left it unattended. He usually did that around the time the sun would start to go down, if he woke up early enough. He was seen a few times, but was quick enough to flee that it wasn't like they could do anything about it.

He broke into a few buildings at night, too. Places where food was made, and other places where it was stored on big shelves. Locks weren't really a problem for him. Not nearly as pressing a problem as his insatiable appetite, anyway.

It didn't take long for rumors to spread around town of a strange shadowy creature that would show up to steal food. Grainy security camera footage of a silhouetted shape with two bright dots for eyes would emerge both online and on the local news, though some would decry it as a hoax to bring in business.

Still, needless to say, the number of drones increased in the area after that.

He had to lay low, and stay away from the town for a while...

Thankfully, there was always that place with the food cylinders on hooks. It was kind of out of the way, and it remained a safe enough place to go, though after he'd visited enough times the tree was kinda starting to run low on those spheres. Still, the food cylinders were as full as ever, and were quick to be replenished.

He ended up making that his main haunt for the next few days, after he quickly ran out of whatever stores he'd managed to gather in his den.

Mystic

Today, he was feeling a little bold. Instinct was telling him to stock up on food. He wasn't entirely sure why, but something about the way the air had begun to gather a chill, set off a small alarm in his brain. Somehow he knew more cold was coming, and that it meant less food.

Didn't help that if he was ever spotted, somebody nearby would yell 'it's the cat-man!', whatever a 'cat' was. It always resulted in people screaming or scrambling to get small devices he could only assume were more cameras, or weapons or something. The scientists in the lab frequently had similar objects they'd hold up toward him during or after testing. He never figured out their purpose. All that mattered was that they didn't cause him physical pain... he hoped.

Back to that house again- the one with the lawn of food cylinders. Right on schedule, they were refilled. Nice.

Spooky

By this time he'd figured out a way to carry more food with him. He'd emptied out a trash bag, and while he'd torn the top off of it while searching for food, there had only been paper trash inside it, making this one more clean of whatever gross sludge was in some of the other ones. And he could just hold the torn part at the top closed with his fist once it was full!

He busied himself with emptying some of the cylinders into the bag, and tossing in a few of the remaining spheres he could still reach up and grab from the tree. There were some more higher up, but he'd have to climb to get them... and he wasn't entirely sure how to do that. Eh, he'd deal with that later.

His attention was grabbed by a big cylinder full of those pebbles, hanging pretty close to the pond. Thankfully not too close to the point where he felt any danger of falling in, so like usual he just casually picked it up off the hook and tipped it so they fell out directly into his mouth, since his other hand was busy holding the bag, and he felt like having a nice little crunchy snack right now before heading back 'home'.

Mystic

...

....splsh

That- came from the pond.

He didn't remember seeing anything in the pond- ever.

A faint ripple passed over the still water as some fin frills broke the surface. They were swiftly followed by a head, sharp teeth bared in a grin.

"Alright, which animal is-"

The gleeful triumph- at having surprised what they thought was an animal- vanished instantly as their words choked with surprise. They drew back in the waters of the pond, staring with wide eyes.

"Holy-" their voice mumbled, that same voice that occasionally talked to the birds or themselves about eating a lot lately. It was the house resident- in the pond? How long had they been underwater??

"You're not an animal!"

Spooky

His eyes shot open wide and he froze with his mouth stuffed. He'd reflexively tried to inhale and a few pebbles got lodged in his throat as a consequence, threatening to choke him. Glowing tears springing up in the corners of his eyes, he forcefully swallowed the mouthful of mostly unchewed pebbles and lurched into a coughing fit, puffs of smoke spiraling into the sky from his mouth.

He'd dropped the cylinder in order to clutch at his chest as his coughing abated, though he eyed her warily as he backed away. Some of the contents of his bag had spilled in the confusion, but he clutched the remainder of his spoils and took off running, crossing the road and fleeing back into the treeline.

Mystic

The strange fish person jolts back a bit in shock, at the sight of him choking. They definitely weren't expecting some kid to be digging in their bird feeders, much less strangling on the peanuts!

When he bolted from the yard, the last thing he sees is the resident standing up out of the pond, hand outstretched toward him.

"Wait-!"

The voice is lost as he vanishes into the trees.

Pounding footsteps almost mask the volume of his heartbeat.

Were they chasing him? Why wouldn't they? They caught him taking their food!

...but- there hadn't been any anger. He didn't know what emotions were there, but at least he knew that anger wasn't one of them.

He makes it back to the den, heaving for breath past the aches in his throat from the singed shells of the pebble snacks. There wasn't a rustle of leaves or branches to indicate a hot pursuit. Whoever they were, they didn't follow him.

Spooky

Going inside, he plunked down on the ground with a rustle of discarded trash bags and food packaging, anxiety still coursing through his veins. Fuck, he was gonna fill this whole damn hole in the ground with smoke if he couldn't calm down...

He breathed in a big shaky breath, as much as his lungs could hold, and held it. He didn't know if this actually helped or not, but it seemed to make him feel better. He then let it out in a big woosh, which unfortunately contained more dark smoke, but at least after that he was able to breathe more normally.

Setting down the bag of food, he slid both of his hands over his head and let it fall against his knees, keeping his hands on the nape of his neck as he tried to think about what the hell he was gonna do next.

He couldn't go back to town yet, and even if that person hadn't seemed mad, he wasn't sure if going back there so soon was a good idea... If he did, he'd have to wait until it was nighttime proper, maybe they'd be asleep then.

But were they gonna still fill those tubes if they knew he was taking from them? They were trying to feed those little flying things, not... not him.

He had more time before he needed to sleep, but he didn't feel like going back out there. He idly tore open an orange sphere and tossed the bits of skin over to where the other bits were piled up, old and rotting. While the juice was kind of annoyingly sticky on these things, they seemed to help keep his mouth from feeling too dried out, and the juice was kind of a relief, as tart as it was.

A part of him wondered if he should've been trying to drink some water this whole time, but he wasn't sure, and wasn't about to try it with that pond. Especially now that he knew he could be ambushed there.

Fuck, it would've been nice if he had a manual on how the hell he was supposed to function... But he must've been doing okay so far, since hey, he wasn't dead yet.

He ended up going through the rest of the spheres he had left without really paying attention, as worried as he was about other things, and just sat there watching the entrance for a while until he felt tired enough to go to sleep...

Mystic

...

That night, he's plagued by a nightmare.

He was being hunted. He knew that already- but this time, they found him.

Branches crunched and smoked under his bare feet as he pelted through the woods.

Metal objects on cables, strings and chains flew from the darkness, trying to snatch his limbs and his torso.

One of them manages to nail a wrist. The metal clasp wraps around the joint, squeezing tight as the cable it's tethered to pulls tight, stopping his forward momentum with a painful wrench.

Another metal object cuffs an ankle, tripping him and throwing him off balance until he falls to the ground. His chin hits a rock, jarring his thoughts.

Finally, another clasps around his neck. It constricts, making it hard to breathe as he's tugged backwards like a disobedient dog on a leash.

"You're not getting away that easily," the ponytailed man threatened, the voice all too familiar even as he can't see him through the fog of the woods. "We've sunk too much time, effort, and money into you. Don't worry, you'll be worth the cost, soon. And after plenty more sessions of mental conditioning and training, I'm sure you'll come around."

Something sharp jabbed into the base of his skull.

He jolts awake. A rock on the floor of the den was poking him in the back of the neck, hard.

Spooky

Dizzied and panicked, he forces himself upright and slaps at the back of his neck with his hand, trying to feel for whatever had stabbed him. The phantom pain still radiated in his mind even as the actual minor pain of having rolled over onto a pointy rock faded, leaving him shaken and confused.

Despite his high body temperature, a cold wave of fear crashed over him, leaving him shivering and feeling a little bit sick to his stomach. He felt like he had to move, but couldn't get up, so he just crawled forward clumsily and fumbled about in the dark, mindlessly pushing the debris in front of him aside.

Despite knowing this place was safe, in that moment he didn't feel like it was. No drones were imminent, there was no clank of chains to be heard outside, nor electronic buzzing. Nothing but the faint whisper of a soft wind drifting down through the entrance tunnel. But what if they were waiting? What if they were waiting out there and knew he was in here and were just waiting for him to slip up and leave?

The paranoia that had crept up on him was paralyzing. He needed to run, but there was nowhere to run. He was already hiding, but it wasn't good enough. He needed to hide even more.

Unable to think of anything else, he went from pushing the trash away to scooping as much of it up as he could and covering himself with it, pressed up against the dirt wall and trying to stay as still as possible.

For the entirety of the next day, he didn't leave the den at all.

~*~

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#stickman #stickmanoc #stickman oc #mermaid oc #merperson oc #original characters #escaped lab experiment #lab experiment oc #writing #rp format #fedoraspooky #mysticdoodles #original fiction #cosmic fiasco cryptids #cryptids au

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queerbuckleys · 21 days

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hmmmm oh i have a question

what's the love story between you and amelia sjdksd you guys are so cute together

tell me whatever you feel comfortable with

heheheheh any excuse to talk about @singlethread hehehee and i have been meaning to go through my archive for this

so basically i kept seeing her with 911 related things, and then i got more into the swiftie side of tumblr too and they were also everywhere there, we became mutuals, she sent me their buddie ppt for swiftie ppt night (an immaculate work of art) and then we started chatting in DMs and asks and discovering that we are really fucking similar (one instance of this) and wanted to then send videos of rosa and juni so we exchanged numbers. and then for their birthday i wrote them a fic -- mind you i am oblivious at this point. i then sorta realized that i had a crush in like march or so and hopped on the dating apps again to try to combat it which got me three dates with someone but i was not comfy with them after that. so i deleted the apps again. and i get distracted by some other life stuff including realizinf that i need to fucking quit my job, so i deal with that. (all through out this amelia and i are sending each other asks about kissing each other etc etc) anyway-- July 2nd hits, Amelia is attending the Eras Tour, i'm watching a grainy lives stream as usual, and ms. swift begins to play ivy -- which is a very special song to amelia and i post this, why you ask? because i was crying over the fact that she was getitng to hear it live, and that i was by extension watching that happen through the stream, and that i was singing it with her too. i was down very bad. (still am btw) and then i said this and this

now-- its the end of september, crush night -- the pivotal moment. i reblog this and answer this ask amelia makes polls about dating tumblr mutuals etc etc -- moral of the story: we are dumb!!! (there are so many other posts if you go to my archive btw) anyway @loveaffairmaimyou finally got sick of us and dm'd me asking who my crush was and at this point i kinda figured it was mutual and was very much freaking the fuck out. we finally talked to each other about it. and history was made

and i didnt implode because i visited her for new years and got kissed (lots)

#ask aj and they answer #loveyouanyway #nolan 💙

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27-royal-teas · 7 months

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What are some of your favorite album covers? Regardless of if you like the music or not, just the look of the covers.

ok so I have. a LOT. let us organize this into a list

SOUL PUNK (Patrick Stump)

I love the cover for soul punk. Its giving ‘night out in the city’ but you know there’s an edge to it (spoiler alert, the edge is depression). i liked it even more when I learned that the rectangles are NOT in fact digitally drawn (they are real!) also, patrick looks hot. but that’s normal

2. MANIA (Fall Out Boy)

LOVE this album. like, I feel like not only is it pretty, it also encompasses the vibe of the entire album. somewhere you can get lost in, But Watch Out!! the wave aludes to sunshine riptide and also I’m a big fan of the neon so. yeah I love this cover

3. SACRED HEARTS CLUB (Foster The People)

back before I got obsessed with ATL and FOB, foster the people were my absolute favorite EVER. again, I am a lover of neon. I feel like this album cover is really well done and definitely fits the vibe they were trying to create.

4. INFINITY ON HIGH (Fall Out Boy)

literally what do I need to say. it creates the vibe of something childlike and innocent and playful but there is something darker behind it. also, it is whimsical!! I love the color scheme and I also love franklin

5. LOST IN PACIFIC TIME (The Academy Is…)

skinny jeans, converse, color scheme. I’ve recently been getting into photography and I love shoe shots to show off a landscape. also the grainy look makes it feel like a movie. very cool.

6. BLEUGH (Lauran Hibberd)

idk I love the posing and I love the colors!! it exudes chill done with everything vibes, which is kinda how lauran hibberd is. (GO LISTEN TO HER MUSIC I LOVE HER SO MUCH). it’s funky and it’s fun but you know it’s got to be different just by the look on her face

7. LAST YOUNG RENEGADE (All Time Low)

ADORE the art on this one. pop punk but with an edge. not sure who the guy is because he only shows up in the dirty laundry video, but whatever. i love how sketchy it feels.

IN CONCLUSION I HAVE WAY TOO MANY ALBUM ARTS THAT I LOVE…. thank you for this ask, it was a fun one!!!!

#toby speaks #Toby’s asks #the academy is…#all time low #lauran hibberd #fall out boy #foster the people #soul punk

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juni-ravenhall · 14 hours

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therapy went okay today. i dont really like her but we did the EMDR thing and that was fine since it was guided and not much related to her personality. i found out an interesting thing about the mind-safe-space because of that. (mine is an all-wooden cabin of the type we stayed at over yule as a kid twice or thrice - just without all the crazy people in it. its dark outside the window, deep snow and stars in the sky. you could see a tomte slowly walking past in the distance with a lantern, if you watch quietly.)

first she told me to feel where exactly i am in this cabin, which i havent really done before. i would *put* myself somewhere, not feel "where do i end up if i just ask myself without assumptions". the answer was in the kids bedroom, in the bottom part of a bunk bed, with clean soft bedding in warm yule-y colours like red and green. its a small room mostly just fitting the beds on each side. there are our travel bags on the floor. you can close the door if you need to, which feels safer. (i usually put myself on the wooden couch/bench in the main room where i can look out the window, and then i talk to my fictional guardian or whatever to call it, together on the couch.)

then she told me to focus on senses in my mindspace, which i also havent done before. it smells strongly like wood of course, its almost all wood in this cabin (that sort of medium orangey colour). but then i could feel the press of the pencil to the crappy drawing paper. that soft and grainy kind of kids drawing paper that your pencil pushes into and creates dents. a thick pad of it. and a regular kids pencil, which ive barely used in my adult life in favour of pens and mechanical pencils. so the feeling of a dulled pencil pressing into the soft crappy paper, and the scritch scritch sound of it. i could see the pencil pressing into the paper really clearly in front of me and hear the scratching loudly in my ears. at this point i got teary, partially because the memory of childhood drawing in that cabin and what it felt like, which made me emotional, and partially just out of the stress and illness im under in general atm.

she asked me to name a (positive) word for my safespace and its obviously just "wood".

she asked me to continue feeling what it feels like in my body when im there in the bed drawing. i feel the drawing sounds intensely. im 12ish, its quiet and smells like wood, its dark outside the window and the deep snow, the yule-y bedding is clean and comfortable, our bags with our gameboys and comic magazines and clothes and snacks are on the floor, there are some holiday decorations here and there, i can smell the paper and the pencil along with the wood, the air is so different than our dirty house, all the furniture and floors and walls somehow feel loving and almost like a hug instead of feeling weird and uncomfortable, i can hear and feel and see the scratches of my pencil pressing into the paper, im drawing something inspired by lord of the rings, im listening to "mo ghaol mo ghràdh" on my portable CD player.

i cried for a bit bc it was really overwhelming feeling the drawing so strongly. it raised a lot of thoughts for me like, i havent drawn with a regular pencil since such a long time and therefore havent experienced those sensations. a pen is not the same. decent quality paper is not the same as that shit paper.

after this she said to imagine a situation that makes me feel bothered (i took this to mean things like mildly triggering but not as bad as a full on panic attack), and to feel how i feel in my body in that situation. the answer was i felt sort of tense in my arms as if im about to move them because i have to "do something about it", and ofc kinda tense overall. (im a problem solver, so it makes sense about the moving arms thing, but i didnt know i felt that.)

then to go back to the safe space and feel that in my body again, and compare the two situations and how it feels different. obviously in my safe space i feel less tense (not not-tense, just better) and notably i dont feel like i have to solve anything, i dont have to do anything with my arms. i just exist. then she asked me to do the same thing again with another bothering situation and it felt the same that time too.

after that i think we were done for today, she asked me how i feel but i didnt really know. it was interesting but i didnt feel relieved or anything like that in general, i still feel like shit bc none of my problems went away. but it did feel nice to feel slightly more calm in the safespace and i felt very strongly about the drawing thing. it felt like something i didnt know i missed (and art is a struggle for me as an adult because im so apathetic that its not fun to draw anymore and i barely feel anything about it 99% of the time, unlike back then).

after i left i decided to go past a toy shop and buy a nostalgic pencil, pencil sharpener, eraser and drawing pad, so i have the full set to try doodling in the same way as in childhood. there was a problem in that those super crappy kids paper are hard to find in sweden nowadays. i went in 3 different shops that have kids art supplies and none of them had it. so i had to settle for a better quality paper, sadly, but i will keep my eye out for really crappy paper. my goal is to just doodle whatever i want in there and not share it with anyone unless i really really want to, and to mostly doodle the type of stuff i did as a kid. not strictly, if i want to draw current ocs or whatever thats fine, but i want to try to reconnect stronger with that safespace feeling by drawing in the way and themes of that time period.

since i love girly 90s-y2k things so much, i picked a lipstick-shaped eraser with synthetic cherry scent (we had these when i was a kid), a pencil sharpener shaped like a juice box (its purple with grapes on it), one of those pencils you dont sharpen with short nibs you switch out?- with strawberries on it, and for the regular pencil i went for one with constellations theme, dark blue with golden stars and names of constellations on it, its pretty.

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selfindulgentfandomstuff · 2 days

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🎫 here's a gush pass ^^ feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other self shippers (optional) !

(if you dont wanna do it thats fine too ✌🏾) -gideongrovel

YAYYY HI GIDEON!!! :D ty for this!! (And tysm for the reassurance that I didn’t HAVE to do this/gen idk sometimes I have the energy for these types of things but sometimes I don’t, tonight I do lol)

OKAY OKAY SO

I kiiinda suck at gushing coherently but uhhh hii gongeous :)))) (/ref)

HES SO PRETTY ITS NOT FAIRRRR ‼️💥‼️‼️💥💥

Also ummm he’s my cutie sweetie handsome guy even though. The um. The killings. (He is a professional hitman)

Also this gif too (below)

Makes me a little (a lot) crazy..

Godddd I need more still screenshots of him tho too but I can’t find any that aren’t incredibly grainy and bad 😭😭😭

It’s okay, the gifs I have are good, I get to see him smile in motion <:)

He’s so silly goofy but also so wildly capable at so many things it’s insane!! Like he’s got this childish sense of whimsy but it’s about killing ppl 😭

And he’s sooo layered. The show alludes to this particular trait of his but they never really capitalized on it bc he’s a side character 💔

But what I mean by that is..

He canonically lies. A lot. One could even argue it’s almost compulsive. Whatever. The point is, he is purposefully deceitful in most of his human interactions. And he does it in a really insidious kind of way that’s just so impressive to watch!!

You’ll hear him tell the main characters something and it sounds perfectly plausible and then like entire seasons later you’ll find out that oh that was a lie too.

And BECAUSE of this particular trait of his, I can make his backstory basically whatever I want with the little information I’m given by the show!!

In the show, he confides in Mac that he killed his abusive father (and encourages Mac to do the same lol)

I choose to take this as one of the few bits of truth he weaves into his deception. It makes sense. And he does do this, weave bits of truth into his ever flowing waterfall of lies, this is canon too.

But like, he’ll lie about stupid meaningless things too. He once lied about being deathly allergic to peanuts to Mac but later made a show of snacking on some in front of him. It’s so dumb but it’s really endearing in a very weird way!!!

I think part of it is I see a lot of myself in him too, so I’m kinda projecting a little?? Like we are very different on the surface level but dig a liiittle deeper and you find two verrrry emotionally repressed people who can’t cope with genuine human feeling to save their lives.

I lack emotional regulation and bc of this I cry over most things (sad, frustrated, embarrassed, etc) and I get deadly mad at the smallest things to the point where I fear I’ll become physically violent.

Murdoc doesn’t deal with his own emotions. He lies about his feelings to other people and he manages to do it to himself too. But he has no problem with taking it out via physical violence.

You understand.

Anyways.. we mirror each other in some key ways and that’s part of why we work so well together I think :)))

SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG TY FOR READING ILYYY/p!!!!

#i love you just a little too much #selfship #selfship asks #asks #@gideongrovel #mutuals #mutual tag #friends #friend tag

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sylvanianfamiliez · 1 month

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going to be autistic on here abt bjd eyes

i’ve been experimenting w trying to make bjd eyes for years at this point and im like confident in my skills but i’m struggling to find the right materials. i watch a lot of various eye makers’ tutorials to see what they use but the problem i always find is that most of them don’t seem to worry abt how the eyes will hold up longterm, which is smth i rly want for mine. like using uv resin for the base will yellow so bad….not to mention the health effects

so it’s like health + longevity that bothers me. i don’t want to use toxic materials for my eyes and risk my health for it. stop using resin without proper ventilation and shit inside your home. please.

my best bet rn is polymer clay for the bases and it works great but the major problem i have is dust in the pure white of the eyes…gonna try some ways of minimising this but i also can’t spend all my energy trying to reduce dust in my environment bcuz it’ll give me a heart attack from the stress. plus i can’t seem to get it to smoosh perfectly in the silicone molds…it’s always got some dents. that’s probably just practice though

so for the dust my thinking was maybe i’d just cover it in acrylic paint after, but acrylic paint stays a bit sticky and attracts dust anyway so. it kinda cancels out. i’ve thought about other materials to use as a base but it always comes back to yellowing. i wondered whether maybe thermoplastic could work but i couldn’t find anything about the yellowing rates so, maybe i’ll try it and leave it sometime but i don’t have high hopes

but then ofc there’s the problem of The Oven. i make the irises out of polymer clay bcuz that’s what works best for me. i’ve never been able to use pastels for my colours bcuz it just looks gross and grainy and muddy no matter what i do, so polymer clay is pretty non negotiable. which means whatever i use for the bases has to be oven safe

and the bubbles in the domes as well…it’d be good to get a pressure chamber someday but that’s a more serious piece of kit than i have room for rn. laeli suggested trying a vibrator to agitate the bubbles which i wanna try so bad lol. but i need to get the resin first….i wanna try art resin cuz it’s supposed to be non toxic so i could use it indoors. and i saw some tests where it was super resistant to yellowing as well. so it sounds perfect but since it’s 2 part resin i’d have to have a lot of eyes prepped beforehand so i don’t waste it all as it’s not cheap !!

im thinking about seeing if i could do the bases with art resin as well but since it’s only non toxic on its own cuz it doesn’t react with anything else in the air, i don’t know what pigments i could use if any. apparently their pigments they make are kinda ass and i’d need it to be a really solid white. they also don’t sell the pigments individually afaik. i’d like to try a white gel pigment but again !! i don’t know how it’ll react. it’d probably be fine but i wish i had the info…..plus i don’t know if it would just melt in the oven. you shouldn’t really put resin in the oven. and if it worked i’d definitely want to get my own little oven sooner as i’m just experimenting w the kitchen one first….bcuz it comes back to the toxic fumes. but even if i did that’s also. having the space for it

UAGH !! you see why i am going round in circles….i wish i could be one of those girlies that just fucks up their lungs and makes eyes that go yellow in 2 years and be happy but unfortunately i care for both myself and my product. i think i’m gonna have to just work on making my space dust free for the white polymer clay but I DONT WANNAAAAAA

#my awesome autism rant

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stagmalinay · 7 months

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Session 02 part 1

There's a lot to unpack here, but I'm finally starting to feel a little more comfortable in this new realm.

So, I do not wake up in the tavern like I expected to. Instead, I wake up just before the suns have come over the horizon in a bed and room I've never seen before. I've no idea how the tiefling lady managed to move me without waking me up, but I find I'm uncomfortably warm under this blanket. I tear it off and find breakfast on the side table with a note. I grab the note, remember "oh yeah, I'm not in Thera anymore" and write "thanks" back in Theran.

Maybe she'll get that I couldn't read it.

I head out and do my morning routine, like usual. It's nice to do my own thing without anyone stopping me and asking questions while also getting a good layout of the village. I mean, I don't know what anything is, and it's definitely not Solara, but it's not bad.

I come back to the room and eat breakfast, which is also interesting. It consists of a white, grainy soup, some bread covered in sauce, and some berries. I explore the room a bit more, but there's really nothing here. Except the blanket. It's still warm, and not just been slept in warm, but like it's producing its own heat. Super nifty!

After I mess with that a bit, I go through my things and sort them out. I drop all the shiny gems into the coin purse thing but as I drop the last one, I realize it doesn't make any noise. I peek inside and find it completely empty. I turn it upside down, but nothing comes out. I've no idea how much I lost, but I hate the idea that I have to pay for things anyway so... I decide it's a bad item to have and bury the coin purse somewhere deep in my bag and head out.

I make my way to the old guy's house and place the lantern on the porch before inspecting the fence. Seems like Mugen and Dirt Guy finished it without me. How in pitch black darkness, I've no idea, but whatever, it's done. Looks fine to me. Then I forget where the guard guy said he'd be. Figure it's a good time to check out Mugen's home and see if they can show me where the guard's place is.

I run into Mugen on the way and ask him where the guard's place is and he shows me. He tries to hide from anyone that passes by, so I pretend he doesn't exist when that happens, entertained that he's trying so hard to hide. He takes me to the guard place where the guard hands me some shiny grey stones for the fence job. I pocket the stones and ask what else he has for odd jobs. He motions towards a wall covered in papers that I, no surprise, can't read, and tells me to pick something. So I just kinda look around and pick a random one and slap it down on the table.

"How about this? What is it anyway?"

He kinda stares me down for a while, confused, and says that it's some sort of wanted poster. So I clarify that I don't have to kill the guy to get the reward, which is the plan. I don't kill people. I'll fight with them, but I won't kill them. Unfortunately this means I need a sword. Generally people don't like to get taken in so easily.

The guard explains that the guy should be in the next closest town and I'll want to travel there. I remember the tiefling saying that people don't really travel around here, so I figure I'll want to talk to Mugen and Dirt Guy about it to see if they know how we should get to the next town over to catch this guy.

I take the wanted poster, a map, and leave.

Since we're missing a party member, Mugen and I return to his house to go and collect Dirt Guy. We get there and Mugen claims that Dirt Guy isn't there, without ever checking the house. I don't really believe he can just know that and barge in searching for him. I check all the rooms and find a few secret passage ways that lead to darkness, but no Dirt Guy. I get confused and check all the rooms with closed doors because I distinctly remember keeping them open after checking them. I find out the problem a while later after I must've circled the house a few times. Mugen's been closing them behind me! So I finally give it to him. Fine, Dirt Guy left and he just sort of "magically" knew that.

We head back to the front door and find Dirt Guy pathetically banging against the door. Apparently Mugen locked him out even knowing Dirt Guy wasn't home. These guys are gonna give me a headache.

Dirt Guy asks for food and checks out the kitchen, where he finds nothing. I take this opportunity to make my way back to the tavern where tiefling lady said she always works. We make our way there and the two sit down at a random table. I check the bar for her, but she's not there. The only people seem to be two passed out drunk guys in the corner.

I head towards the back area and call out for someone. A woman answers, clearly half asleep, and I ask her for a couple plates of food. Mugen yells for it to be four, so she gets up and starts making food. I ask her where the tiefling lady is and she informs me that she's out at her other job. Of course she is. I'm a little disappointed, wishing she meant that she was always working here, but that's fine. She'll come in eventually.

I tell the boys that food'll be out soon and return to the room I'd stayed in to fetch the note. I come back and ask the cook what it says. She seems pleasantly surprised that the tiefling left me a note and then uses a notebook to read it. I guess I'm not the only one that can't read in this realm. 😅 It says that I fell asleep and that the room is free of charge. Also that the breakfast was for me. I mean, I'd assumed that, but I'm glad it didn't say something like "I'll be right back, don't eat my breakfast".

The food comes out and I pour myself a glass of water from the pitcher on the table while Mugen and Dirt Guy eat. Apparently all the tables have pitchers of water. I don't remember them being there last night, and it tastes a little different what I drank before. Mugen helps himself to three of the plates once I let him know I already ate and once they're done, I pull out the wanted poster.

"So this is our next job. Any ideas on how to go about this?"

Neither of them answer. Dirt Guy doesn't surprise me, but even the monologuer is quiet. I show them the map too and ask them how we travel, if we need weapons, and just nothing. It's then I realize that I'm the leader of this group and I don't like it. I don't know shit about this realm. This is not what I signed up for.

At this point, I really want to talk to the tiefling because she's clearly the only one that knows anything around here. I head back to the cook and ask her how long it'll be until the tiefling returns. About a couple hours. Great. So I head back to the table and ask them if they'd like to go and do another job before we meet my friend, because it'll be a while. Dirt Guy decides to join me and over to the guard's place we go!

I ask him for another job that'll only be a couple hours and he brings up mucking the horse stalls. I have so many questions... But I take it. Did you know you could ride animals here? I'd never heard of that, but I was excited to meet the horses.

We go to the horse stalls run by a guy named Steve and he explains what we need to do. It smells pretty bad in there, but it's fine. It's decent work. The horses are amazing! They even let me pet them without running away or trying to attack me. I'd never been able to freely pet something before.

At one point, I get a huge whiff of the shit I'm dealing with and shake my head to get rid of the smell. But then I remember the coin purse. Out of curiosity, I pull it out and dump a bit of crap into it. It disappears like the shiny rocks did and reluctantly, I go to smell it.

Nothing.

I literally have a magical bag of disappearing! I drop a little more in there and sniff it again, smelling nothing, and offhandedly wonder what would happen if I pissed inside of it, but then Dirt Guy comes back with an empty wheel-barrel so I put it away and get back to work.

Dirt Guy and I are sufficiently mucked up when we're done, but the good news is the tiefling should be back by now. Dirt Guy heads into the tavern and I go back to the room to change my pants so I don't stink when I see her again. I get another idea with the coin purse and see if I can stuff the pants into it so my bag doesn't smell like shit. Like everything else, they go in, and disappear. I decide it's best to not stick my penis in there when I go to pee in it. I'd hate to lose it and I just might. Who knows how this magic works.

I make a mental note to not stick my fingers in there either.

I return to the tavern and spot a spotless Dirt Guy sitting at the table. I look him up and down and ask "how the fuck did you do that?" He looks at me confused and I wave it off. I didn't think they had similar magic to Thera, but maybe they do. Wish I'd have known before I stuffed the pants into the coin purse. Now I don't have a backup pair.

Mugen seems entertained by the drunk guys who've made their way halfway across the bar, but are still passed out drunk. I get up and smell one of the water jugs, but it smells different, like alcohol. I get yet another brilliant idea and grab the coin purse so I can see if it holds liquids. I'd hate to find out it doesn't with pee.

I pour it in and the whole jug's worth of tampered water just disappears inside. I shake the coin purse upside down again and smell the opening.

Nothing.

I literally have a magical, bottomless, disappearing coin purse. I grab yet another jug and dump that in there too. Suddenly, I hear a familiar voice screaming in the back. I quickly glance around and notice Dirt Guy isn't in sight, but he shortly storms out from the back followed by the tiefling. She does not look happy. However, she's the reason I'm here and she's currently chasing after a very determined Dirt Guy out the tavern. Confused, and slightly worried, I follow them out. And thru the village. And then past the edge of town, growing more and more hesitant the further we get. It doesn't seem like a good idea to travel out of a village, unprepared, from a village people generally don't travel out of.

I'll tell you more tomorrow, but don't worry, the story gets infinitely better.

Author note: Stag does not know that there's only one sun and one moon on this planet. It doesn't have multiple suns and it wasn't a typo, he just doesn't know any better.

#Stag stories #no one knows how to read #not that i really had a choice but i'm currently questioning those life choices up to this point

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clockwork-reveries · 8 months

Text

THE TIMELINE

bulletpointed for easiness.

1995

strange entity naming themselves "The Corequisite" makes itself known to the earth. it does not transmit any sort of message except for its own moniker. images of this anomaly are captured by the various satellites that orbit the earth

the pictures are very bright, warped, and grainy. a vague, yellow-ish light seems to be encasing some sort of limbed(?) figure.

earth freaks out about this because nobody understands what they are looking at what is the corinth??? how did the world not die?

as a parting gift The Corequisite deposits a strange unknown device into the atmosphere that makes safely into the waters near panama. this alien object is described to be "an unusual clump of switches, wires, and circuits coalesced into a glass-like tough casing"

it is sent to america to be contained by the government and analyzed what usage or dangers such an object

engineers and scientists have concluded the unusual device is a "program" of some sorts with a port. the device throughout the years emits strange tertiary colors, though nobody understands what it means.

plugging this program in like a usb stick opens.. something. it takes the scientists and engineers a while but it realizes that it, through the computer, is listening to their words. theories arise that it is some sort of spy device from.. whatever that weird entity was, but further investigation says that this program, this device is some sort of AI brain, though it looks a far cry from a human one.

communication is established with this brain with nothing more but a word document app. it utilizes words and makes an odd string of sentences from the spoken english, and the first sentence it forms is a string of the most commonly used words it has heard

now that they have discovered it can learn, they teach it basic communication, it is a quick-learning toddler. text to speech is utilizing and this learning "robot" is dubbed "Project Corinth"

2001

project corinth is fully capable of monotonous speech, and possesses a metal torso and head (like C-3PO kinda) that can barely move. it is repeatedly questioned on its whereabots, origins, but it cannot explain why or how it appeared, no matter how much it is bribed or threatened.

project corinth is visited by various countries, and a few engineers from libya discover that there is actually a way to alter the code inside of corinth's brain but in a meticulously way or else it would risk errors or more. even with heavy modifications, project corinth is not able to tell what The Corequisite is, for it genuinely seems to not know.

for the rest of its existence project corinth contributes to further development in society and its technology, and soon it begins to even aid on how its brain was even replicated, though it would take years until another "core" of this robot thing would be perfected.

development of these makes people very antsy. will the world end with evil robo domination?

Modern Day (2014-2017)

project corinth goes down in history and is referred to as The Corinth as a noble title for the discoveries it accidentally helped the world discover. what happens to the corinth? it is incredibly unclear as the development of recreating cores perfectly comes into focus, and as the news of it fizzled out, so did the corinth. to this day nobody knows what happened to them, though many believe they were deactivated and used for similar projects.

Replicated cores are finalized and finished products, but they are not distributed like candy for the public.

Engineering laboratories around the globe manage to get their hands on these devices. Due to most of these digital minds gaining bodies, these "AI" are now referred to as Corinthians due to their growing complexity.

as of january 1st, 2014 about 383 Corinthians are fully functional of thought and movement. this number grows a lot through the years, but it is not enough to overwhelm humanity.

however, they are still bound by both the laws of the countries they were were created and a new code of conduct for them specifically.

and unfortunately, there is a large global conflict across the most powerful nations. despite their clear autonomy Corinthians from all over are ordered to aid their countries or face termination. this will be expanded on in a later post.

Modern Day (Post-"war", 2017)

the war has been succesfully intercepted and it is hoped it will be staved off for a long time.

the "production" of Corinthians has spiked heavily, but a lot of them are half-developed shells with only the mind to follow orders. robots.

with no war to prepare or take part in, the Corinthians that were poorly brought into existence are either forced to integrate into society and blend into the background or terminate themselves in hopes that their parts are integrated into something more meaningful.

life is still once more.

#scifi #worldbuilding #neoteric: eminence

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voicefromunderthecovers · 2 years

Text

Total Drama: The Creeps Cut Episode 1 | Not So Happy Campers

Chapter 0: Audition Tapes

Ezekiel

In a dusty, cluttered, cramped space with a mess meeting you at every corner, sat on top of an old, barely functional TV is the field of vision of a low budget, partially grainy camera. A greasy, pimpled hick with an awkward air about him scratches the back of his pencil neck insecurely before flashing a small closed smile.

“Yo, name’s Ezekiel, or like, Zeke, y’know? As you can probably tell, I’m kinda new to this whole celebrity thing, eh.” His smile fades and he looks around nervously. A few coughs can be heard in the background as he rubs his arm. “Anyway, Pa used to be the breadwinner but now he can’t work as hard no more. I’m gonna get on this show and bring home the bacon instead, I mean, without me, there’s no way I’m gonna be able to support ma. I’m ramblin, I know, y’know? Er, you know what to do.” His dopey grin ends off the video.

Two men, one tall and built and the other small but well put together are sitting and watching the following tapes. They glance at each other and shrug. “So.. what do you think?” Chef Hatchet, the larger man asks.

“I’d say the kid’ll be at least partially fun to make fun of. But people also love a good rags to riches story. I’m game! Next?” The smaller one, Chris Mclean, beckons an intern to supply him with the next tape.

Eva

The first shot of the video is of a black haired, butch type woman doing pulls up at a close-up angle in a public gym. A few prettier, pinker girls walk behind her and mutter something as she finishes up her routine, grunting out the number of reps she’s done.

“57.. 58.. 59.. 60!”

She then hops down on her feet, solidly standing tall. She nearly lets her eyes linger towards the sound of the teenage girls in the background she can so obviously hear, but refocuses on the camera, tightens her fists and talks to the hosts.

“You see that? I’m the only girl in my school who can do more than ten pull ups. So whatever you can throw at me, I can handle it.” She points at herself confidently, head held high and eyes closed. The girls in the background find a red dodgeball and aim it. “Bring it-” BOINK!

It collides with her temple, knocking her off balance. “HEY! You’re dead, you hear me?!” She barks as their fits of giggling turn to panicked gasps and screams. The footage cuts just as the girl rushes at the posse harassing her. It returns to an image of the angry teenage girl with blood on her fists, now outside of the gym on the sidewalk.

“My name is Eva Chantrey. If you want a fierce, no holds barred competitor who is also a huge team player.. You’ll pick me.” She points a thumb in her chest. “Hey, you can edit this, right? Good.”

Chris and Chef recover from chuckling as the footage cuts. “Man, talk about psycho!” Chris belts out.

“I like her.” Chef muses.

“Of course you do. She’s in! Who’s next?”

Noah Sitting at a desk in the middle of a quiet library is a young man with a medium-dark skin tone. Despite the camera being focused on his face he isn’t at all interested in it until he turns to the next page of the book he is currently trapped in. “Yo,” finally looking up from his book to reveal his bored frown gives the first glimpse of realization to the camera. “Look, you’re probably going to get a dozen audition tapes from ‘musically’ talented teens or dependent dorks who claim to be ‘intellectual prodigies’ so I’ll save you the time… Like you should save yourself from reading this cliche ridden novel.” Taking the book from its face down position, Noah flaunts it to the camera with an annoyed expression plastered to his face. “The cover lures you in with a depiction of an epic story. Heroes, dragons, castles… What do I see? A thousand and one cliches on how NOT to write a fantasy novel. I haven’t watched any of the audition tapes on your website, which is so 2010 might I add, yet I can already guess that ninety-nine percent of your auditions are from rich kids or dumb jocks far too in over their own heads. With Noah? Nuh-uh. I’m the real deal, an actual schemer not some wannabe used car salesman. Put me on your show and it’ll be a domino effect of backstabs with me always staying a step or two ahead. In the school chess team? Grand master. Yeah, you can see what I’m getting at.” Noah pushes the book he was reading off to the side before looking at the camera one more time with a confident smile. “See you on the show, big name Hollywood executives.” “Heheh, he’s right about the numerous trust fund kids we’ve gotten so far ain’t he Chris?” Noah seemed like just the type of kid that could use some of Chef’s… Bootcamp. A snobby little poindexter like that? Chef would accept him on grounds of breaking him alone! “I think the irony of his tape is what gets me the most. Going into intense detail about all the scheming little yuppie kids he hates without the self awareness is HILARIOUS! Reminds me of how much you hate that hotshot chef on that one cooking show. What was it called? Cooking Up Drama? That guy is a total Hollywood sleaze!” Chef raised an eyebrow to Chris. That sleazy chef reminded him more of Chris than himself. “But hey, I feel an odd connection to the kid. Consider him in the show! Who do we have next, Chef?” “Some girl who claims to be able to talk to ghosts or something! Oh, and another set of those damn BlixBloxxers!” “Kids, aren’t they the greatest?” Chris’ rhetorical question was only answered by a devilish grin towards the camera.

Justin

The camera pans to show one of the most handsome men in the world with a frown on his face. He’s crouched up on a rock, hair wet (it looks sexy even when wet) and all hope lost. What tragedy could’ve befell this gorgeous man?! “I’m Justin… And once I got lost at sea. Then… I remembered pretty men don’t need to read maps, they just need Dude Time for Men .” Justin sprays himself with the cologne, this parts away the clouds and sends the bad weather long off into the distance. In its place comes a herd of women, all of them eager to rip Justin’s shirt off to reveal his perfectly chiseled torso. “ Dude Time for Men is not responsible for any side effects that may occur such as constant attraction of females, an enhanced sense of confidence, a flock of women tearing your clothes off, or erectile dysfunction. If you experience testicle shrinkage please consult your doctor immediately and stop usage.” One of those commercial voices ended off the advert, Chef raised an eyebrow while Chris clapped his hands together. “Classic Dude Time for Men , I did a commercial for them a year or two back. My agent told me I should probably demand they never show my clip again though after that huge lawsuit they got in for those nasty side effects.” “Plus that smells nasty! Ain’t no real woman gonna want to smell some Dude Bro whatever the hell it is.” To Chef’s cynicism, Chris shook his head. “Just because you’re jealous of a product doesn’t mean you have to shame those of us who found success because of it, Chef.” “Man, didn’t you just get divorced a year ago?! Face it, Dude Time don’t work… But that kid's a looker, though, reminds me of my first– gig. I worked at a modelin’ place, pretty boys like that all over the damn place.” “So you’re saying you want him in? Meh, okay. He’ll get us ratings, he’s already a totally hot model. Just look at his gram! That’s a lot of followers bro.”

Katie and Sadie

A nauseatingly pink polka dotted room filled with childish plush toys and a big speaker is the backdrop of this next one. Two teenage girls, one chubby and white and the other brown and slim (both wearing the exact same outfit) are holding each other's hands while Glamorous by Fergie plays in the background.

“Oh my gosh, I cannot believe we’re doing this!” The larger one exclaims. “So cannot believe we’re doing this!” Her friend replies.

“Okay, um.. Hi!” A fit of giggles erupt from them both. “Oh, I can’t lead, Katie you have to!”

“Okay, okay.. I’m Katie, and this is Sadie. We both want to apply for Total Drama because I mean,”

“Just look at us! We’re cute and we both have our own Blickblock account, KatiexSadie=, AND-”

“And we’re sooo close! We’re inseparable, which is like, so rare for small town girls like us.” They hug each other, nuzzling one another’s cheeks.

“So, so rare! Ooh, Katie, let’s show them our dancing!”

“Oh, uh-” Katie’s grip on her friend loosens and she backs away.

Sadie turns up the volume incredibly loud, swinging her body to and fro wildly, flabby skin smacking against her body while she seductively glances at the camera. Katie blushes and gives a nervous smile.

“Ahaha.. Woohoo.. Go Sadie.” Her words are too quiet though.

“What?!” The camera falls from the vibrations of the music right onto the carpeted floor.

Katie picks it up and is joined by Sadie as they both shout, “Put us on!~” the clip cuts out.

Chris and Chef simply blink, then look at each other. “Blickblockers on my show? Chef, look up KatiexSadie+ultra whatever now!”

Chef glares. “I ain’t your personal assistant, fool.”

“Just do it, ya big baby.” He slaps him on his toned shoulder.

“Ugh,” Chef gets on the computer and looks up their username. “One hundred thous- well I’ll be..”

“One hundred WHAT NOW? What do their fans say?”

“Oh, they posted the audition. Let’s see..” Chef applies his reading glasses, scanning the comments. “‘Katie is so cute. Go Katie!’, by Pepefan24. ‘Katie needs an Onlyfans, sweat drop emoji.’ by Crimson Candy. ‘I want a Katie solo account (i love you Sadie too ooh woo.)’, by tearjerker.tdi.”

“Katie is the star, but they’re both annoying. Why not include ‘em both, for.. Brand recognition?”

“Mm, good idea.” Chef nods. “Next up: Tyler.”

Tyler

The video starts without a star in front of the camera, this quickly changes as we hear a boy curse as he sprints over to the front of it, just barely avoiding tripping over his own feet. “W-Woah! Sorry about that, I’m Tyler! A totally serious athlete who everyone says should be in the Olympics… Or was it the Paralympics? To tell you the truth I don’t really know the difference. Either way, check out this highlight reel from my time here at Bullworth Academy!” The camera fades from Tyler to a clip of him giving a thumbs up to the camera as he jumps up to catch a football thrown to him. In a horrible miscalculation the ball actually comes down and smacks Tyler square in the face! Another clip flashes by, this time Tyler gives another enthusiastic thumbs up as he goes to block a hockey puck via glove save. Yet another terrible stroke of luck causes the puck to go right past his hand and smack him dead in the face again! The final clip shows Tyler in a stairwell at what looks to be a hospital. His head is all bandaged up and he’s missing a tooth, even still he gives a thumbs up and hops on his skateboard. He jumps on it and tries to ride down the rail, this results in him being launched off the board and flying into a hamper of towels! Despite the stunt being a failure, he smiles at the camera just happy to not have taken another shot to the head. However this proves to be his undoing as the board comes back down right on top of his head, knocking him out one final time. “Yeouch! That had to hurt!” Chris chuckled as he rewinded the tape to play some of the brutal injuries over again. “Is that one of them Jack’s Ass boys?” Chef couldn’t lie, watching Tyler get hit over and over with various sporting goods was pretty entertaining. “Oh MAN look at that hit right there! Duuuuude!” It had been six rewinds before the two hosts finally stopped laughing, it was pretty obvious Tyler was in. “He’s absolutely terrible at sports but imagine the ratings we’ll get on him!” Chris explained.

Izzy

A black and white filter overlays the camera feed. A dark room, or as dark as you can piece together through the filter, is lit up by candles, emitting enough visual aid to showcase framed pictures of a blonde haired, fit surfer dude with a chiseled jawline and casual looks on his face. Several of these pictures show him smiling on the sidewalk, laughing inside of a restaurant, eating a messy sandwich, clocking in at the production studio for Fresh TV.. wearing a nametag that says the name Graham.

Suddenly, the camera spins backwards to reveal a filterless girl grinning ear to ear at the camera, orange, unkempt neck length hair and orange lipstick on her. “Boo! HAHAHAHA! Gotcha, Graham-Graham! Surprised to see me?” She appears to be wearing a lab coat with goggles on her forehead. “Yeaaah, I had no idea you were working at Fresh TV now, I’m so jealous! That means you’re kinda sorta barely famous, Graham! Isn’t that wild?? Remember when you used to talk about owning a mansion and three dogs named Skip with me? Or settling down at a nice graveyard with both of our gravestones next to each other?? Oh man, great times! You were an awesome boyfriend. In case you don’t see this, or remember, hey! I’m Izzy, and I’d be really good for the show Total Drama whutz it becauseeee I am multifaceted and very attentive! I swear I’ll leave your viewers laughing and my fellow castmates entertained! As for you, Graham?”

She finally takes a breath of air to jab a finger into the camera, zooming in on her green eyeball. “I missed you, baby~! Wait for me!”

Static fills up the last four seconds.

“..Batshit crazy, man.”

“Right on, brother. As if this show needs more insanity.” Chris grins, writing down her name anyways.

“Do.. Do we even know a Graham?”

“I think he’s a production assistant? I dunno, all of the lackey’s look the same.”

“True that. Soo..?”

“She’s in. I like her breed of insanity: dangerous, but quirky. Lesbians around the world will relate to her immensely.”

“I get the feeling she’s the type to enjoy my camp food.”

“No offense, bro, but I wouldn’t feed your cooking to a starving raccoon. I’d pay to see it.” His grin only becomes more cocky.

Chef growls, then stands up and yells. “Shut up! Next!” He sits back down cross armed for the next tape.

Cody

“Oh hey there, didn’t see ya. I’m Cody Emmet Jameson Anderson, the Codemeister is what all my friends online know me as.” This audition tape took place in the RGB colored room of who could only be identified as a tech-fetishist. Computers, consoles retro and new, even what seemed to be a fridge with a screen on it. “You may be caught up in all my cool gadgets, don’t let that fool ya! I’m like Batman, cool gadgets and machines at night… Playboy also at night. I’m missing the rich part, which is one reason why I want to be on Total Drama!” Was I interesting enough? Oh crap Cody think, think! “L-Look! I’ve got music too!” Cody fiddled around with his keyboard, finally finding the space bar as his beats started playing from his speakers. “I-I can actually play that! I was just editing it, oh! This is the good part!” Cody threw up the rock and roll symbol with his left hand as he jammed out to his solo, smiling up at the camera. “A man of many skills as you can see. Games, music, ladies… Did I mention my YouTube channel? Ohhhh it’s not too big or anything, just SEVEN HUNDRED subs. Heh, see this is my latest video, I talked about some chicks from Blickblock.” Cody’s channel was pulled up on his phone, the latest video sure enough was about Katie and Sadie. “Small world.” Chris remarked. Y’know, there was a total audience for guys like Cody! “Girls won’t be able to get enough of him and he’s just dorky enough for guys to find a liking to as well. I mean making fun of Blickblockers on the internet? He’ll have his own unique fanbase.” “Either that or he’ll stir up enough drama tryna be a cool guy. Hehe, what’s your decision Chris?” “Seen worse… Why not? If worse comes to worst, he does have seven hundred subscribers. That’s at LEAST fifty viewers.”

Beth

“Hey there! I’m Beff!” Spitting all over the camera was a gal with braces, glasses, and a lisp. “I’m here with my best friend in the whole wide world, Bertha! Say hi Bertha!” In her arms is a squealing pig, it doesn’t at all look happy to be held by the four-eyed teen. “W-Woah, don’t wiggle so much! I’ll-!” As the pig desperately wiggled out of Beth’s grasp, the momentum of a pig almost half her size caused her to land forward onto her face right into some mud! Beth defeatedly pulled herself up to her knees again, face covered in mud and tearfully clenched her fist.”I-I get it, I look like another pathetic nerd girl who can’t do anything right… Mark my words, if I get into your show? That’s all going to change! You’ll see, everyone from school will see, and doormat Beth will be NO more!” “Nerd rage, eh? What do you think, Chef?” Chris was a bit on the fence about Beth. She was another nerdy looking competitor, they already had a lot of those… “That girl got a look in her eye that none of those other kids had. A scary one.” A bullied student out for revenge? That’s one reason he became the way he did! Chef was a sensitive soul underneath all the war paint, military training, and awful culinary skills. “Revenge in a lawsuit kind of way or a ratings kind of way?” Chris questioned his co-host. “I doubt that girl could actually cause harm to anyone, prolly just a ratings thing. Probably .” “Alrighty then, Beth? You’re in!”

Courtney

In the center of a courtyard, a Latina-Asian girl with short chestnut hair and freckles is sitting in front of a camera, a table separating her from the camera man across from her. On the table are pamphlets that read, “Courtney for Student Council President”. Several students walk past her, scoffing or outright rolling their eyes at her from behind, all while she emphatically chants:

“Vote for Courtney! A vote for me is a vote for a well organized, better serviced and happier classroom. Vote for Courtney!” She glances at the camera before focusing her attention on it entirely.

“Oh, hello there! As you can see, I’m running for Student Council President. If I’m elected, I swear to make this school a better place. So, why do I, Courtney Barlow, wish to enter a drama reality TV show when it’s so obviously below me? Well, discounting the prize money, I think it’s best for any great leader to surround herself with commoners before she becomes a responsible ruler for the people. Essentially - I want to know what people are like outside of the bubble that is high school.”

“Hey, can we hurry this up? I gotta head to gym class.”

“In a minute, Tom! Ugh, you better edit that out.”

“Yeah, yeah, Court, I will.” Tom mumbles, sighing. She seems offended, mouth gaping.

“Don’t address me that way! Do you know how degrading nicknames are? How do you think most political campaigns end, Tom? Nicknames!” She claps her hands together thrice, scathing with gritted teeth and furrowed brows.

“Okay, okay, whatever, you crazy bitch, just finish up!” He yells back, probably for the first time ever. A few students freeze and look at the duo, then move on with their day.

Courtney glares daggers at the controller of the camera for a few seconds, then puts on a fake smile and flashes a peace sign. “Ahem.. Vote for Courtney!”

The recording ends with a subtitle:

Don’t vote for Courtney

Chris chuckles iconically. “Hehehe, damn.. Can we get Tom on the show? I mean, the back stabbiness, the character development unraveling as we watched in real time, the emotion necessary to freeze a room! Incredible!” He throws his arms into the air to exaggerate his point.

“Even A students watch TV, man. Need someone relatable for the preppy dorks of the world to latch onto.” Chef folds his arms, looking down at his partner with a stern, almost bored look.

“Is that Beth chick not enough? Fine. Courtney is in, if only so we can see more of her looney side. Next!”

Harold

This audition tape began with yet another dork smiling at the camera, he was in what looked like a boy scout outfit. “13.2 seconds, that’s the time it would take for me to kill an elephant with my bare hands. Not that I would, they’re endangered. But I could, that’s my hunting hand to hand combat badge. HYAH!” From out of nowhere two yo-yo’s entered the field of view for the camera! “I call this the double-decker-loop-to-loop-wild-style-space-typhoon technique, something taught only to grand masters at Rolling Steve’s yo-yo and- AUGH! OUCH!” One of the yo-yo’s hit Harold in the nose while the other wrapped around him in a way that took him to the floor! Luckily, or unluckily for him he was still visible! “I can get out of this, don’t worry. I have a badge in escape arts, I could probably get out of this if it was chains and I was submerged in water with sharks or something…” Harold was really hoping he could escape some sharks while drowning. That would be so awesome. After struggling for a moment Harold was actually able to get himself out pretty seamlessly. “As you can see I possess some mad skills no one else has. I can nibble rope like a rat, I can hold my breath under water for seventy three seconds, I can even pick locks with my teeth if I need to… Probably.” “Well that was a whole lotta nothing from that string bean. NEEEE-” “No, no, wait a minute! Chef…” Was that tears in Chris’ eyes?!

“Oh… What’s up man? Cecilia taking more money aga–” “NO CHEF, SHE IS NOT! Ahem , I used to use a yo-yo. Maybe you don’t know this, before settling on being a host I was in Toronto’s Next Yo-Yo Stars until… I tragically took one to the gonads. I-I had to make a career decision and focus on television!” Chris looked like he was about to tear up again, Chef knew all about giving up on a dream and settling. “It’s alright Chris, hey maybe we can take this kid then?” “I had to settle and here I am… Divorced and hanging out with a disgruntled drill sergeant turned Chef!” Chef’s empathetic expression quickly turned into one of annoyance as he let go of Chris. “And here I am hanging out with a divorced PAST HIS PRIME Cali-Dude Bro!” “Past his prime? Nonsense Chef! For Harold we’re in agreement he’s in, right?” That story about the yo-yo thing couldn’t be fact checked. Chris just figured another punching bag wouldn’t hurt the show too much. “Fine! String bean can be in the show! Can we just move on? And don’t tell any more LIES!” “My bad Chef! It was the actor inside of me.”

Trent

Next up was a young man sitting at his computer desk, he had a guitar in his hands and a microphone up to his mouth. “Hey there whoever is watching this, I’m Trent. Just your typical dude who loves playing guitar and writing music. Check this one out.” Trent began strumming his guitar humming in melody with the instrument until his eyes opened getting ready to sing. “I–”

“TRENT!” His door swung open as a man who looked as if he could be his father stepped in the room and gave him a disapproving glance. “I thought you were studying for your SATs? Why are you playing a pretend band again?” Trent rolled his eyes before turning to face the man. His previously composed posture had turned into a slouched mess.

“Dad, I’m just taking a quick break. Trying to get onto that show I mentioned earlier, remember?”

“Is that show you’re trying to get onto comparable to Yale? How about Harvard? Even Princeton?” His father argued rather matter of factly. “Maybe? There’s a cash prize for whoever wins. What if life isn’t so cut and paste as you make it seem?” Trent tried to argue his case but his pleas just got met with a door shut in his face. His dad was always like this, never once could he support his son without making it about what he wanted. He finally turned back to the camera with a sigh as he started strumming a new tune, this one a lot more somber than the last. “So you see… I really want to try and win that money so I can go to any school other than a posh law school. Maybe meet some like minded people, join a band… Meet a girl?” “Hey Chef, we have daddy issues yet?” “Is there ever enough?” “Nope, probably not! Plus he gives off that ‘not like the other guys’ vibe teenage girls just love.” Trent wouldn’t be that hard at all to market. His audition tape sells himself!

Bridgette

Ah, the beach. Typically, a calm and serene despot for young teenagers to run about, get high or catch a wave. Today however, we see a large crowd of people surrounding a blonde haired, hourglass shaped swimsuit toting girl as she places a beached baby whale on her surfboard, gently as if it were made of porcelain lying it down on its back. The camera shakes and thrashes as if its holder is running. It stops to zoom into the savior’s face as she carefully pushes her board out, getting on her knees to usher the whale back to the open water.

The crowd around her cheers while she swims back some thirty seconds later before dispersing back to their cliques to celebrate the saving of ocean life. The surfer chick looks surprised when she notices the camera is on her.

“What, we’re doing that now?”

“Bridge, chillax, girl. It’s been on! Just roll with it, okay?” A feminine voice with a heavy hippy accent says from behind the camera. The star rubs her bare arm, looking nervous.

“..Okay. Hi! I’m Bridgette. I’m sure you understand what I’m all about from.. All of that just now, so.. Let me explain my reasons for wanting to join.” Bridgette takes a deep breath, hands on her hips. “I know there will be plenty of people joining your show looking only for the pleasures of wealth, to satisfy their own selfish desires. But I think the cash you have, producers, could be put to real good use.”

She pauses, picking up her board to lean against it, making her appear smaller. “Foundations, charities, safer beaches, animal and people hospitals, commercials raising awareness for these very big issues, I think with one hundred thousand dollars I could very well save lives and make Canada one step safer than it was before. If I do lose, I promise to exit with my head held high and my spirit ready to make an improvement either way!”

“That was it! Wasn’t so bad, was it, babe?” The girl asks, a smile obvious in her voice.

Bridgette nods. “Thank you for your consideration.” She finishes with a cute smile as the screen fades to black.

Chef, bored again, waves his hand with mediocrity. “Eh, too goodie-goodie. Pass.”

“Woah, Chef, hold on: did she say commercials? Imagine how many lawsuits/morality wars we could avoid with the producers and viewers if we have a few scenes of Bridgette telling us off, or rescuing wounded pigeons. Boucot bucks saved and made, man!” Chef rolls his eyes at his partner's ludicrous saving habits.

“I’d still rather have the guy with all the sexy weapons.”

“No way, dude’s a creep and not in a funny way. Pretty sure our contestants would sue us, and they can’t even do that without probable cause we didn’t list in the contract.”

“You mean creepy in your way?” Chef grins. Chris is not amused.

“I am not creepy. I am sexy. Anyways, she’s in for the commercials we could make alone and that’s final.”

“Whatever, man. Next.”

Lindsay

A long haired blonde girl wearing tight, purposely ripped jeans that hugged her figure like a bear on a cub and a red tank top without a bra spoke through gloss covered lips, smacking every word that came out of her mouth as her cliché bulgy eyed chihuahua stared at the camera from under her breasts.

“Hi, my name’s Lindsay! The audition sheet says to list my best qualities, but I have so many.” She flutters her butterfly lashes, smiling adorably. She let’s go of her dog, who immediately sprints away upon being freed. She leans forward in criss cross position, showing off her cleavage. “I’m pretty, and smart and I get along with everyone, even ugly girls and dorky boys.” She nods with her eyes closed as if she’s somehow all knowing.

“Somehow, I was able to get offered twelve summer jobs just by walking down the street a mile from my house, but who has time to work all summer? If I’m gonna get money, I wanna do it by being me! Not Tina from behind the counter who has to watch other girls buy pretty clothes, although I’d totally love to help ugly girls get makeovers, or help pretty girls be prettier! If you couldn’t tell, I’m what my ex boyfriend calls a bimbo; really nice.” She rambles almost as long as her hips are wide.

“Oh, did I mention? For the American version, I’m bilangual: I speak fluent Canadian and American.” Her beautiful teeth shimmer as she smiles earnestly. Chris and Chef are floored.

“You know, I’m real happy there are no cameras in the room, otherwise uncle Chris might find himself on Twitter’s hitlist for saying this.”

“Saying what?” Chef cautiously asked.

“Man oh man I cannot wait to stare at that girl in 4k HD surround sound 1080p glory.” Sweat and drool coated Chris’s face as he spoke. Chef looked disturbed.

The audition opens with a stationary camera aiming at a tall Jamaican man with brick built arms and a picture of a middle aged black woman who looked a lot like him on display beside his bed. The setting was clearly his room, but the giant wasn’t just talking to his camera; he began to jump and flutter in the air, holding a pink ribbon as he paraded himself about his room wearing a white uniform for ribbon dancing. He finished his act with a split, never breaking eye contact or a smile away from the camera. Afterwards, the footage cut to him sitting on his bed.

“Yo! My name’s Devon Joseph, or DJ! I think I’d be a perfect fit for Total Drama, cause I’m kind, and strong, and sensitive, and most of all, I was raised right.” DJ lifts up the picture of his stern but proud mother folding her arms and points at it. “Thanks, mom! Without you, none of this would be possible.” He lets his smile fade.

“My Momma ain’t gonna be able to provide for herself forever. That’s why, if I win Total Drama, I’m gonna get her the best housing I can get her, make sure she never has to work again. I’d also love to join to diversify my skills and make more buddies! Thanks for your consideration.” He finishes it all off with a wholesome smile and wave.

Chef seems emotional. Chris is laughing almost gut bustling at the kid’s impassioned speech, but Chef is weeping. “W-woah, C-Chef, buddy it is not that funny.”

The brolic cook grabs Chris by the shirt violently. “It’s not funny at all! Kids got heart, man. Don’t you have a momma? HUH?”

The host looks away, no longer smiling. “Well.. I mean, yeah-”

“Well, do you?!” He shakes Chris.

“Yes! Yes, I do, okay? Why?”

“Ain’t it exactly like us starting out?” Chef whispers, sniffling.

“I dunno what you mean.” “I started in showbiz to provide for my momma, to make it big, to prove to her that I was more than a cook! I am a professional, and she raised me right! Do you understand?!” Chef wheezes, barely holding back tears. Now Chris is crying too.

“Yes, Chef! I understand!” The odd pair begin weeping into each other's shirts, bawling their eyes out as the next audition plays.

Geoff

“What more do you need brah? Party central here. Beaches, babes, and some gnarly burgers being cooked up by my buddy Brody. Lifes a party and I’m always hostin’ dudes.” Geoff put his cowboy hat over his eyes and soon got hidden behind another surfer. “Geoff bro, Johnny got us hooked up with the other B!” “Brody! The other B…?” “Some beer bro! His cousin Tony was up working at the shop and he swung in!” “Oh heck yeah dude! Let’s go and do a buttchug or wait…” The two surfer dudes pointed at each other and nodded. “SHOTGUNNNNNN!” The two dude bros clapped a high five as they ran off to go find their fellow surfers. At this point Chris and Chef had to do some fast forwarding, Geoff had left the camera rolling for what felt like an eternity. Eventually the surfer wandered back to the beach chair and plopped down as if he didn’t leave the camera on for nearly an hour. “Yup, average life of a party horse. Stressful? Not at all my dudes. Times like these are what we live for.” As his cowboy hat covered his eyes a final time, Geoff was finally asleep… But once again forgot to turn off the camera. “He knew he was still talking to the camera and yet he still didn’t turn it off?” Geoff screamed frat boy city to Chef. That wasn’t a one hundred percent negative thing though, Chef used to hangout with a party monster named Party Pete. He’d always wondered what happened to ol’ Pete, everyone figured he’d just partied too hard.

“Correct. Chef, I know you’re not invited to too many parties and the ones you are invited to you usually aren’t the life of. Please note there are some unspoken rules of partying. Rule one? Nothing but the party matters. Geoff lives to party! You can’t hate the guy.” Chef wanted to hit Chris with a sassy remark back but.. Yeah, he couldn’t hate Geoff. The guy seemed actually cool, unlike an actual fraternity “party animal”. He was in.

LeShawna

“Yo, yo, queen LeShawna coming to y’all ready for anything. Loud n’ proud, large and in charge, anything your TDI crew can throw at me, I can handle.” LeShawna then began to bust a move or two shaking her arms, head, and her… You can guess what else. “Let me promise y'all this too, there ain’t no party like a LeShawna victory party. Figuring I’ll be the one throwing it at the end and all if you pick me consider yourselves invited.” Continuing her spa-dancing she bumped towards the camera doing a call me sign and cutting the tape short. “Short, sweet, and to the point. What do you think, Chef?” “I think it’s prolly the opposite of her. A sister like that? Haha big, mean, and crazy, don’t let that party nonsense fool you. Woo-weeee.” “He said it, not me. Easy to misinterpret quotes aside, is she fit for the show?” “Her? Heh, she might be one tough nut to crack but that’ll just make it all the more fun when she does.”

Duncan

The visual quality of this one is grainy and barely comprehensible. The audio is very clear, thankfully. It almost looks like security camera footage. And, made out by the grainy footage, is a green mowhawked teenager scaling a large building while the full moon provides mood lighting. Obviously, a criminal.

He’s scaling the building downward with a rope, cocky grin glued to his face as he glances between the ground below and the camera.

“Hey, Duncan here! Though I’m sure you know me considering I’m somewhat of a local celebrity around these parts.” He remarks with gusto.

“Yeah, photographers are taking my picture all the time. It’s because of my charm and good looks, which is also why I banged half of Davis High. That and because I live in a big house with tons of security cameras, guards and guard dogs to watch over me. Not to mention: no parents!”

“My best quality? Let’s just say, I’m stealthy, a real thinker. Tough, too. Yup, the whole cake package.”

He hops down, finally free from the wall. The rope drops and an alarm blares. A spotlight highlights him and the sound of ravenous guard dogs catches his attention. He breaks character for a second, eyes widening as he realizes what he has to do. He starts running, still looking into the camera. “Well, I’d love to stay and chat but I really gotta run. My parole officer will be in touch!”

The recording ends with static and muffled yelling. Chris and Chef nod at each other, raising their brows with interest.

“A convict? Very cool!” Chris exclaims, writing his name down.

“Finally, someone I can relate to.” Chef says, arms behind his head.

His co-host places a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t push it, man. You’re way better than some bratty delinquent.”

He smiles. “Thanks, man.”

Chris smiles back. “You’re welcome. Next!”

Heather

We hear the sound of a shower turning off and see a hand reaching for a towel sitting on the shower curtain. Walking into frame for the first time was Heather, she was easily identifiable by her sly ‘better than you’ grin. “Will I be nervous if I get picked to be on the show? As if. I’m incredibly comfortable being on television, it wouldn’t be my first rodeo you know.” Heather reached for another towel to put over her hair, rolling her eyes at just the thought of even being embarrassed on tv. “What would I have to be ashamed of? I’m PRETTY. While I’m sure the standards won’t be anything to brag about being higher than, I’m going to be a 12 entering an average of 4. If you get me on the show I’ll sell it myself if I have to.” She waved bye to the camera and walked off screen, the last thing seen in this tape is two towels being thrown in front of the camera signifying that Heather was a bare naked lady for just a mere moment. “Well Chef, I think I’ve seen all I need to see here. Ratings? Check.” “Yeah, RATINGS huh? Face it Chris, you got a thing for trust fund white girls!” “Actually, Chef it says here that she’s ASIAN. So maybe take your racial assumptions back to 1970?” Chef raised his brow in annoyance towards Chris’ antics. Damn fool was going to make him sound like some good old boy from down south!

Gwen

Sitting cross armed in a computer chair is a goth girl in midnight blue who looks like she’d rather be anywhere but here. “Soooo… Am I supposed to sit here and do a talent or something? Why? So my tape can be shown off to the world and I can get laughed at? Not a chance I’d humiliate myself before I even get onto the show.” She rolled her eyes thinking about all the times she saw other people’s audition tapes make it onto the internet and they became laughing stocks for the world. She’d never leave herself vulnerable like that! “I’m Gwen. That’s all you trolls really need to know. I live with my mom and brother after my dear dad decided to leave us in the dirt for some floozy in Vermont. Yeah, Vermont , how desperate and deprived do you have to be?!” Just talking about her situation infuriated her. Was it too hard to just keep it in your pants?! “So look… I want to be on the show so I can try and win the prize money. If I ever want to go to college and help support my family I’m going to make more money than eight dollars an hour working my butt off in a kitchen.” Gwen wasn’t really sure how to sell herself without just trying to get pity from whoever was watching this. She wasn’t super talented or popular, she was just a down on her luck girl trying to provide for her family and future. “If you want someone there looking to win and not make friends, I’m your girl. If not… Whatever I guess.” That’s the last we see of the goth girl as the camera fades to black, leaving Chris and Chef to decide her fate. “Sounds like girl’s got it rough. First person I’ve seen other than DJ a while back who wants to spend the money on family.” “And you know what Chef? What’s more important than family? Sitting here with you, going through all these auditions… I think WE’RE family Chef. You get me, I get you. Same wavelength.” Tears started welling up in Chef’s eyes, did Chris really mean that? “Maybe I judged you too harshly, McLean. You ain’t a corporate puppet… You’re my BROTHER!” Chef leaned in and gave Chris a hug, embracing his co-host as if he truly was his own brother.

“And you know what Chef? Family really sells!” The hug immediately ended and Chef pulled away disgusted. “Forget everything I just said, you ain’t my brother!” “What?! Don’t be jealous dude, I’ve got to think about the family business first ‘bro’!” “Don’t call me bro McLean! Just get on with the next tape!” Chef was beyond offended! Just when he thought maybe he’d touched Chris’ icy heart.

Owen

A choir of church boys and girls are seen singing on a particular busy night. The camera recording all of this is clearly a smart phone propped up awkwardly where it won’t be seen, particularly zoomed in on a large blonde kid. The choir, including him, sing Hallelujah, with the blonde looking more and more red, anxious and suspicious by the second. At the finale of the song, when the kid slowly draws out the “Halleluuuujah..”, applaus erupts and the choir bows. The fat boy tries to, but ends up hitting himself on his stomach instead. He then runs towards his phone, picks it up and speed walks into what looks like a lounge.

The camera is positioned under his swollen chin until he places it against the counter wall, showing himself off as he opens the fridge and eats as much as he can, from donuts to fruits to an entire pie. Between bites he speaks.

“Hi.. I’m Owen! And I’m so psyched to be joining TD! Woohoo.” He whisper-yells the woohoo, continuing to eat as someone knocks on the door to the lounge.

“Owen, sweetie, you were amazing! Can we see you?” A sweet voice beckons.

“In a second, mom, hehe!” He smiles forcefully, though his chuckle is very cute, almost mascot worthy. “What? I eat when I’m stressed.. I wanna be on TD to party, but most importantly to find new, less judgemental people to be friends with. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my folks here at home, but they’re really not always so open to new concepts, if you get my meaning. Anyways, my best qualities are my iron stomach and endless sense of humor! I promise we’ll have a blast, bro’s! Catch you later!” He downs an entire peach cobbler, covering himself in crumbs, jam, chocolate and sugar.

“Owen? Who are you talking to?” A mature voice demands.

Owen bites his lip, leaving his phone to answer the door. “Sorry, dad, here I come!” The door opens and the choir, as well as their families collectively gasp. “...What?”

“You know, the final piece of this puzzle is a mascot. This kid’s got likability, the cute factor and he seems two dimensional at least.”

“He better appreciate my damn food…” Chef snarls.

“A starving raccoon couldn’t appreciate your damn food, Chef. It’s alright, man.” Chris offers a hand to Chef’s shoulder. He slaps it, paining him greatly before digging a kitchen knife out of his pocket and brandishing it.

“I’ll kill you, Mclean!”

Chris stands up as Chef bolts forward to chase him around their office. “H-hey, wait! Producers! Chef is fighting me again!” Chris knocks on the door desperately. “O-oh, and we got our cast! So get those signed copies of signatures and contracts ready!”

“You ain’t gonna have a head to host with, you bastard!”

“You wouldn’t dare touch a hair on my head- Chef, no!”

Oh, Mclean will have a head to host with. Stay tuned: Total Drama Island premieres soon.

#total drama #fanfiction #rewrite

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