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theheartsmistakes · 4 years

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The Last Night: Part VII

Author’s Notes at the end... but if you’re just joining us:

Here is Part I

Here is Part II

Here is Part III

Here is Part IV

Here is Part V

Here is Part VI

At some point, she wasn’t sure when, Cordelia had laid down on the hard tempered ground. She stared up at the smoke colored sky and watched the clouds above her dance and swirl in airy shapes. The wound on her side had stopped hurting; all that was left was a dull ache, and a burning underneath her skin. She didn’t need to look down at her arms to see the black veins that crawled underneath her now ashen, skin. Her breathing had become labored, shallow, and her chest stretched as it tried to take its fill of the putrid air.

There was still so much she needed to say. There was so much she wanted to do.

“There’s time for that.” Her mother would say to her. “Stop being in such a rush. There is time for all that.”

It seemed she was running out of time.

The once hot hair now left her feeling cold. Her eyelids felt heavy. All she wanted was to close them, just for a moment, but she forced herself to keep them open.

Tragic.

She contemplated the word. Imagined it would be thrown around at her funeral— if she was to have one. If Belial was defeated and they managed to recover her body from this place, the word tragic would define the end of her life, as it did for so many Shadowhunters before her, all lives lost too early.

But that would not be what would make her death tragic. It would be because she died the same way she lived… alone.

The thought made her cry out and her hands gripped the sand that scratched beneath her skin.

It’s this place, she thought. It turns even your inner thoughts dark and dreadful.

She chased after images of people and things that she loved but even those left her feeling hollow and alone.

Then a memory came to her mind.

It was nothing grand or spectacular, a small moment actually. It was a week after she’d become engaged to James. Her mother had been dragging her to appointment after appointment claiming it would be ‘the wedding of the century’. The binding of a Herondale and a Carstairs. She’d grown weary and sick of dress appointments, cake shops, flowers, table clothes, and just craved some semblance of normal. She wanted to take Cortana in her hands, feel the bite of the metaled handle, hear the slight whistle as the blade arched through the air and slice the heads off the perfectly assorted flower arrangements in one clean sweep.

Most appointments, Cordelia had Lucie to keep her company, making the day a bit more bearable. But when Lucie had a previous engagement that she refused to tell Cordelia about James offered to come along to keep Cordelia company.

He came to stand beside her in the center of an ostentatious ballroom that had a hand painted mural on the ceiling. Cordelia had her head all the way back staring at the image of Jonathon Shadowhunter, with great enormous white wings spread out from his back, charging after a group of mangy looking demon dogs. Their mothers were bent over a catalogue, conversing over decorations for the reception when she felt his shoulder brush against hers.

He leaned into her and his hair brushed her cheek. “Do you like ice cream?”

Thinking it was a joke, she laughed, but when she turned to look at him, his eyes blazed with mischief.

“Mother doesn’t allow me to have ice cream,” she said, and looked back up at the mural. “She says it will go right to my hips and rot my teeth.”

“Give me your shoes,” he said, suddenly urgent.

“What?”

He pressed his hand over her mouth and glanced at their mother’s. Tessa was leading Sona into the hall and went on about lining the floor in imported silks to cover the scuff marks in the wood.

“Give me your shoes,” he repeated. “They’ll make too much noise.”

A rush of excitement went through Cordelia as she reached down and slid her feet out of her pale pink heels and handed them to James.

He cradled them in-between his arm and his side and motioned for her to follow him.

“What are we doing?” She whispered once out of the hallway.

He grinned down at her; she felt her cheeks redden, as he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the door.

Once out on the busy London street, he handed her back her shoes, and offered her his arm to hold while she slid them back on. He nodded at nosy pedestrians that looked at Cordelia curiously.

When she was situated, he grabbed her hand again and he was pulling her down the street. He weaved deftly around people, leapt over a dog on a leash, and skirted past solicitors while Cordelia muttered their apologies.

When he stopped, she nearly slammed into him. His cheeks were flushed, his crown of black hair curled away from his face, and a cheeky grin lifted one corner of his perfect mouth. She couldn’t remember a time when he looked more beautiful to her.

The smell of the shop was the first thing she noticed. A heavenly aroma of vanilla, spun sugar, chocolate, and creme. Her mouth instantly watered and her stomach groaned.

“I saw it on the carriage ride over.” He glanced over at her. “Do we dare?”

She was stalled by a moment of guilt.

He hopped up on the first step leading towards the glass door and noticed that she hadn’t followed.

His eyes narrowed slightly. “What’s wrong?”

“I really shouldn’t.” She groaned as the door opened again and a girl with blonde braids down her shoulders walked out with a cone dripping with the sweet dessert. Her mouth watered, betraying her.

“Come on, Daisy.” James stepped back down so he was right in front of her. His mouth curved into a vexatious grin that left her warm and breathless. “Unless you prefer we go back to our mothers and talk about seating arrangements.”

She grabbed his hand this time and led him up the stairs to the door.

After they chose their ice cream, James picked a raspberry swirl in a cone and Cordelia chose chocolate, they walked across the bustling street to the small lake with a trail around it and settled into a leisurely stroll beside one another.

He ate his ice cream quickly and poked fun at her for eating hers slow when it dripped down her fingers. She taught him words in her native tongue and fought back laughter when he butchered the pronunciation. He told her stories about The Merry Thieves, and Lucie, and his parents. There was only one strange encounter with a duck where he switched to walk on the other side of her, so she was closest to the creature, and then switched back as if nothing had happened.

When she’d lost count of how many times they’d circled the pond, they stopped at a vacant bench underneath a tilting willow tree with branches that swayed and grazed the ground below it.

“Thank you for rescuing me,” she said and leaned to press a kiss to his cheek, but he’d moved his head slightly so her lips grazed the corner of his mouth instead.

Horrified, she’d begun to make her apologies, when he brushed a curl that had fallen into her face and secured it behind her ear, letting his fingers graze the shell of her ear before he cupped her jaw in his hand. “My Daisy, you require no one’s rescuing."

A lifetime of this, she thought painfully. I want a lifetime of this.

“James?” She smiled to herself and the ache in her chest became something different. “James, can you hear me?”

For the longest time, she believed there were two versions of James that existed: hers and the other one. Her James caught her when she fell from carriages, rescued her from public scrutiny, kissed her on top of tables, and made her smile until it felt like her cheeks might pop. The other James abandoned her on dance floors, left her in mid-conversation, and was completely enraptured by someone else.

Would she ever learn who the real James was?

When Grace’s hold on him is finally removed, would his affections change?

Would it be too late?

“James.”

She waited a moment on bated breath but nothing could be heard except for the sound of the wind rushing through her ears and her own heartbeat failing to pump what limited blood remained through her body.

“Not long now,” said Belial. She’d thought he’d left or perhaps he’d only just returned. He squatted down next to her. The tip of a dagger that hung at his side in a gilded scabbard nudged her thigh. His head loomed over hers blocking out the red sun. “They’re approaching. Soon this will all be over.”

She’d waited long enough for someone to come save her. It was well past time that she saved herself.

Her death would not be tragic.

No. It’d be heroic.

Her hands gripped the sand underneath her and with the last ounce of energy she had left, she flung her handful at his looming face.

James.

The car was tilting heavily to the left as Matthew took a turn at an alarming speed when James heard her voice inside of his head. He straightened himself and leaned forward trying to listen over the sounds of grumblings from the people around him, but nothing else came. He thought for a moment that he smelt vanilla and tasted raspberry on his tongue.

The headache behind his eyes was present, but not getting any worse. He didn’t chance a look at his wrist with Thomas sitting so close beside him and Lucie looming over his shoulder. He thought about putting the bracelet back on, just to stop any damage that might be occurring because of his impulsive decision. But now that he was free of it, the last thing he wanted was to put it back on. In fact, he thought constantly of throwing the bloody thing into the street and being rid of it forever.

His mind felt clear for the first time in a long time. For so long his thoughts had been hazy, unfocus, reverting back to Grace as if they were tied to her name by an invisible string and being flung back to her whenever they would wander too far.

How did he not see it?

How could he not know?

“Can this thing not go any faster?” asked Lucie, who was half on top of a scandalized Christopher in the back seat.

“There are no runes to hide automobiles,” said Matthew jerked the gear shift. “As long as Mundanes can see us, I have to abide by Mundane rules.”

“It’s dark outside.” Anna pointed out. “There is no one out to spot us. Just admit that this piece of rubbish doesn’t go any faster.”

“Thomas, I cannot think of an equally demoralizing response and drive at the same time,” said Matthew over his shoulder. “Please proceed to make Anna cry with your words on my behalf.”

“No.”

James had only just noticed that Thomas knee had not stopped bouncing. His usually calm friend seemed as perturbed as he felt, but for what reason James didn’t know.

“STOP!” Lucie yelled over James’ shoulder.

The tires screeched and James was nearly thrown over the hood of the automobile and out into the street if not for Thomas’ arms outstretched across both he and Matthew. The three occupants in the back hit the first row hard jolting them forward.

A chorus of curses filled the automobile, followed by an explosion of air and steam from the hood of the car.

“Algernon.” Matthew whimpered.

When James looked up, a wall of thick gray fog stood just inches away from the car. He leaned out the door to see the edge of it lapping against the pavement like the shore of a lake but never moving any farther. His eyes followed it up into the sky merging with the clouds that still lingered there.

Lucie jumped from the backseat and ran past James.

He was out of the car in a moment, following after her, as she disappeared into the thick of it without hesitation.

“Lucie!” He stepped in after her. The air crackled around James. His runes sang underneath his skin as if aware of something his mind wasn’t yet aware of. The smell of stale ale, sulfur, and blood clung to his nostrils. “Lucie!”

“James?” He heard her on his left.

“Lucie!” The air clung to his skin, cold yet humid. He waved his hand out in front of his face in an attempt to clear it. “Can you hear me? Come back.”

“James?” He could hear the fear rising in her voice. She sounded farther away than before.

“Stop moving!” He yelled. “Just wait for me where you are. Keep talking.”

He ran in the direction he’d heard her voice, but he couldn’t see even an inch in front of him. It was like swimming with your eyes closed, unsure of which way is up and down.

“James!” Matthew called from behind him. “What’s going on in there?”

“Stay together,” he shouted over his shoulder. “Hold hands or tie yourself to something.”

“What do you see?” Thomas asked.

“Nothing,” said James. “I can’t see anything. Lucie!”

“James!”

It came from behind him now, only feet away. He ran in the direction and thought that he saw a figure taking shape in front of him. He exploded into a run and like a picture behind changed on a projector, he stepped out and was in front of the car again.

Matthew was tying himself to the car with a long rope. Thomas looked restless, muttering something to himself, while Christopher poked his finger in and out of the fog curiously. Anna was the first to see James.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

James' heart rate leapt in his chest as he turned back around to face the fog. “Lucie.” He pushed back in and ran forward in the direction he’d first seen her go in.

“LUCIE!”

No response.

The fog burned his lungs as his breathing quickened. Every muscle in his body felt taut. She couldn’t be gone. She had to be here, somewhere. He’d find her. He had to.

“Lucie, answer me!”

“James!” Her soft clear voice rang from behind him again.

He spun around and ran towards her voice. Not even ten steps and he popped out of the fog again to meet the others.

“No.” He exhaled and dragged his hands through his damp hair.

A hand clamped down on his shoulder preventing him from taking another step forward.

He spun around to shove whoever it was off, but Matthew stepped away before he could.

“Stop and think for a moment.” Matthew shouted and grabbed James by the shirt. “We’re not going to get anywhere if you keep running in there blind. We need a strategy, a plan!”

“James,” said Anna from the car. “Matthew.”

But James was too busy fighting Matthew off to notice her. “Lucie is in there.”

“I know that!” said Matthew. “I’ve been listening to you call her name for the past ten minutes. Now calm down and think.”

“James!” Anna shouted. “Matthew, look!”

When he turned back around, the fog had begun to clear as if it were being physically sucked away. The street was empty, the cobblestone path glistened with condensation, and lying in the middle of it was a body.

Author’s Notes: Fun fact, ice cream became popular and inexpensive in England in the mid-nineteenth century, when Swiss émigré Carlo Gatti set up the first stand outside Charing Cross station in 1851. He sold scoops in shells for one penny. The fun things you learn when you’re researching things for your fanfiction to insure that you remain historically accurate. I’m on a diet (need to lose some of this quarantine weight) so writing this ice cream scene was really just me wishing I was on a date with my non-existent boyfriend eating ice cream while walking around a lake... I hope you enjoy it. Also, I know that James doesn’t have an affliction with ducks quite like his father does, but I can still see him being hesitant of them, because we all know Will told him horror stories when James was a child. Please hit the like, comment, reblog, and follow along for more updates. I just wish I could hug and smother all of you in love for supporting this fanfiction. I’m having a blast creating it (flaws and all). A million thank you’s to each and every one of you!

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anastasiaskarsgard · 5 years

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TO THE ANON THAT ASKED FOR A SMUTTY CHEATER BILL STORY HERE YA GO. I INITIALLY DELETED THE REQUEST BECAUSE I DONT CONDONE CHEATING BUT THEN I THOUGHT, ITS FAN FICTION. NO ONE TAKES IT SERIOUSLY AND IVE GOTTEN A FEW REQUESTS FOR THIS SO HERE YA GO.

Here’s part 1: https://anastasiaskarsgard.tumblr.com/post/188138288236/this-is-a-really-involved-request-so-im-breaking

And here is PART 2

Warning!!! Smut 18+ mature content.

As we pulled into the parking lot, everything hit me at once. I had literally witnessed my dog get murdered, the man I thought was perfect was Satan himself, I have no belongings, I don’t know anyone but Randi here. But then I remembered all the good like I was free, I’m not dead, I have the best friend in the whole world, I already found a job and got paid a lot for basically getting to be near the hottest guy ever and there’s photographic evidence, and literally the world is my oyster. I even get to go to Canada! Hayden Christensen lives there! I look over at Randi and can’t help but laugh when I see her sassy face. She is not a fan of feeling sorry for yourself. “Sorry, I’ll stop. They’re happy tears! I swear! I’m so happy I have you, and we’re going on this adventure. I’m just grateful.”

“Wow. Don’t cry Bitch. You’ll fuck up your make up.” my best friend joked.

I chuckled, and gave her a hug, then stood straight out of the car and let her lead the way to see if everyone had gotten a table together in Mortons.

We found everyone taking their seats. I took the closest open seat next to the photographer and Randi sat between Andy and Bill across from us. I didn’t want to look at Bill and have Randi give me shit, so I read the entire menu like 3 times to avoid looking up. We all ordered, and then Andy had the idea for everyone to introduce themselves:

“Ok since everyone is from all over the place, let’s do a fun little ice breaker. I’ll start. My name is Andy, I’m from the beautiful country of Argentina and I’m a Director as I’m sure you all know, let’s be more original, I know! Name your fear! I’m afraid of drowning.”

“My name is Randi, I’m from Kalamazoo Michigan, I’m an artist and I’m afraid of flying.”

“Ok hi everybody! I’m Bill, I’m from Stockholm Sweden, I’m a human and I’m afraid of being alone.”

I giggled like an idiot, froze and looked over at Randi, who was smiling at me, shaking her head. Dammit.

“My name is Barbara and I’m Andy’s sister, and I am afraid of creepy crawly things.”

“I’m Maria from Brazil, I am photographer and I fear bad lighting and flaky models. Thank goodness for Liv appearing like magic and save the day.” She smiled at me warmly and squeezed my hand.

I felt everyone’s eyes on me, and could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I couldn't bear to look at Bill or Randi, so I stared down in my lap and could feel my face heating up. “I’m Liv from Las Vegas, I guess I’m a model for now and I’m afraid of being a failure, velociraptors, roller coasters, centipedes and public speaking.” I chuckled uncomfortably. I ramble when I’m nervous.

“I’m afraid of velociraptors as well,” Bill laughed. “Jurassic Park ruined me as a child.”

Everyone laughed heartily at Bill’s expense but I felt appreciative of him making my ridiculous fear seem more credible and drawing attention away from my obvious nervousness. I snuck a peek at him and he winked at me playfully.

I didn't know what to think of this beautiful man. My initial reaction to him had been negative. He seemed like every other snobby Hollywood type, complete with crazy girl problems, but as the day progressed, he surprised me over and over with how genuine he seemed to be.

As lunch went on, Randi and Maria were talking technical terms, so Bill and I looked at each other and just smiled and shrugged our shoulders. It wasn't like we were being ignored, just everyone except us was wrapped up in their own conversations. I was content with that too, but then an ice cube flew into my cleavage.

My eyes shot open and I observed a very amused Bill trying to contain his laughter but not doing a very good job.

”I promise I’m not an asshole. I have just been trying to get your attention since we got here. So how long you been in LA?” He asked me like i was the most interesting thing he’d ever encountered.

”What time is it? Less than 24 hours.”

His eyes went wide and he choked on his drink a bit, then began to laugh at himself . ”wow, and you already booked a major job? Who is your agent? Are you an actress or just gorgeous... I mean a model.”

”you are super smooth Bill. I’m kidding! Don’t pout you’ll get wrinkles.” I had to give him some shit. “I don’t have an agent because I don’t have any interest in fame at all.”

He looked impressed by that for some reason. ”so what brought you here?”

”Randi is my best friend, and I needed a change of scenery.” I said making sure to avoid eye contact. I knew I was just being paranoid, but I felt like he could look into my soul, with the intensity he was looking at me with. I’m a terrible liar, so I’m convinced if I look at him, he’ll see I’m not being honest. I didn't want to mention the literal hell id escaped to be here.

I could still feel his gaze on me, and I caught Andy looking between us with an unreadable expression. He's a director so he probably can read people really well.

Shit. I’m probably just being my normal neurotic psycho self. No one probably gives two shits about me, and this is all in my head. These people are famous and successful. I’m just another one of the millions of girls that they encounter in LA.

Maria tapped my shoulder. “Hi honey, can you switch seats with your friend? I want to show some my work?”

I smiled and agreed, but the butterflies in my stomach were going crazy as I took my seat by Bill. He was texting so I got my phone out to play a game or two. Suddenly I felt Bill’s leg press up against mine. I looked over at him, but he just continued with his phone, but was clearly smirking. Just then The food arrived and I was famished, so all other thoughts were abandoned.

“Wow! You eat real food!” Andy exclaimed.

“Oh it’s not fair! Liv has always eaten whatever she wants and doesn’t gain a pound.” Randi whined.

I blushed feeling all the attention on myself again. I wanted to fade into my surroundings like a chameleon. “I like to eat.”

I looked at Bill and he was off his phone but I could tell he was watching me as he ate.

“What?” I asked finally, when he didn’t stop looking at me.

“You’re very interesting.” He said.

“How?” I scoffed.

“Well for starters you’re drop dead gorgeous but you don’t like being the center of attention. Am I right?”

“I wouldn’t go with drop dead gorgeous, maybe conventionally attractive. There’s not really anything wrong with me, but there’s nothing to write home to your mother about either.”

He chuckled. “See? There you go again. You’re humble and funny too.”

I could feel my face burning so I excused myself to go use the restroom, but Bill said he’d show me where it was since he needed to smoke and make some calls.

I was fully aware where it was, but agreed and figured I’d let him show me. He turned before we reached the bathroom and he opened a door that appeared to almost blend in to the wall, revealing a very plush, luxurious bathroom with a large vanity.

“Oh my gosh is this like the Secret VIP potty?” I asked. I had always heard about secret lounges and VIP cool stuff so I was ecstatic to actually see one. I probably seemed like such a dork but I didn’t care.

“Something like that.” He said following me inside and locking the door behind him. I turned around to tell him there only appeared to be one toilet, when he took a couple steps and closed the distance between us and kissed me, pinning me against the wall.

He pulled back and looked down into my eyes, “I’ve wanted to do this since I saw you.” He said deepening the kiss again.

I stepped aside to move out from under him and caught my breath. “Your girlfriend though!”

“It’s over with her. It’s been stale a long time” He said as he wrapped his arm around my waist. “Don’t worry, I'm sick of her. I much rather have you. Do you have a boyfriend?” He pulled me against him again and my God the man was so good looking.

“Nope. I’d have kicked you if I did, I’m not a cheater.” I couldn’t believe his lips were on me. I tried to think and get ahold of myself and be rational, but as he kissed down my neck and groped my breasts, it was getting hard to remember why this wasn’t the best idea ever.

“. Listen, you’re very attractive Bill. Like best looking guy I’ve ever seen attractive, and I’m flattered, but we should get back. They’re gonna wonder.”

“This dress is killing me though, and youre so so beautiful.” He groaned lustilly, as he slowly slid my dress’ strap down, continuing his way down, kissing down my throat to my chest. He exposes my breast and looks up to make sure I wasn’t going to object, but when I just bit my lip, he placed his mouth on my nipple, suckling at my breast. He releases it with a popping sound, and slips a hand under my skirt, rubbing me through my panties, as he sucksin a breath through his teeth, before going for my other breast. This motherfucker is gonna kill me. How can one man be so hot and what did I do in a past life to deserve this shit? Seriously universe? How do I carry on knowing his tongue was on my nipple?

He hiked my skirt up to brush his fingertips across my folds. He bit my bottom lip and then pulled his hand out from under my skirt, and sensually tasted his fingers before leading me to the large round cushioned ottoman at the vanity, trying to get me to sit.

“What are you up to? You’re - this is so bad.” I tell him as he pushes me down lightly as he kisses me passionatly.

He looked deep in my eyes. “Please let me taste you and make you feel good. I don’t expect anything from you and I don’t do this type of thing ever, but I’ve honestly never wanted to see what someone tastes like more in my life.”

FUCK. Who in the hell could say no to that?

All I could do is nod, too shocked to fully comprehend that this was really happening.

He got on his knees in front of me and I couldn’t help but admire his gorgeous features. As crazy as it sounds, he had the most beautiful bone structure; severe and angular, yet it was offset by his big green eyes with their long sweeping lashes, luscious plump full lips, and adorable perfect little child-like nose. His hair was silky and thick and he smelled like mint and soap.

I watched as he pulled my underwear off and placed them in his pocket, before leaning me back with one hand, as the other lifted my dress. He bit my inner thigh gently, but still sent a thrill up my spine causing me to visibly shudder.

“I haven’t even started yet,” he smirked up at me cockily, before pressing his mouth to my sex before I had time to reply. I’d had my pussy eaten before, but nothing like this. There was no sign of nervousness or insecurity that some men display when they go down there. Like you can tell they’re not sure what the fuck to do, but Bill was sure of himself and seemed to genuinely love doing it. He was so enthusiastic and it felt so amazing. I never had done something like this in my life, and wouldn’t even kiss on a first date, yet here I am. I was scandalized and aroused, and so close to an orgasm it was shocking.

“You gonna cum for me baby?. I love how you look right now.... Cum on my face.... please?” He pleaded and pushed another finger inside of me. I couldn’t look at him. It was all too much.

I let out a moan as he moved his fingers and tongue in such a combined effort, that I reached out and gripped his hair, pressing his face against me as my release crashed down on me, violently shaking me, and making everything go white, as it wound down. It was seriously one of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had, and it took me longer than a polite amount of time to realize I was still holding his face, and immediately released him”I’m so sorry, I didn't realize I- .”

“Sshhh.” He said chuckling and came up and kissed me deeply. “Can you taste yourself on me?”

I nodded shyly, looking away to break eye contact. He was so intense and I wasn’t sure what he would want me to do to return the favor.

He put his finger under my chin and pulled my face back over to look in his eyes. “You’re beautiful.”

I looked back at him, waiting to see what he did next. I was surprised he wasn't taking his pants off, but was too shy to try and take them off myself. I really wanted to though, and that surprised me. I wanted him to fuck me and wasn’t going to think about it, just do it. Like Nike.

He stood up and helped me to my feet, and helped smooth my dress out. He pulled me into another kiss and I could feel how excited he was.

“Let me make you feel nice now.” I mentally scolded myself for saying something so not sexy but just looked up at him with my best doe eyed look.

“You’re so cute. Don’t worry about me, just yet. I don’t want a quickie in a bathroom with you, I want like a bed and many. many. hours. I want to impress you.”

“I’m fucking impressed Bill.”

He chuckled and bit his lip, and you could see the wheels turning. “I really want to fuck you but I also don’t wanna be too long and full disclosure, Andy threatened serious bodily harm not to touch you. Said you’re a heartbreaking man eater.”

“Randi advised me to avoid you because you’re a foreign actor that’s too good looking for his own good. You’re obviously a monster.”

We both got a good laugh out of that.

“What’s your phone number?” He asked taking out his phone.

“I don’t currently have one. I need to get one. I lost mine yesterday.”

He looked at me incredulously. “If you don’t want to give me your number it’s ok.”

“No. Take Randi’s number, that’s the phone I was using earlier anyways, that way you can call, cuz I don’t have a pen or anything.”

“How about your email, and then you can send me your number when you get it. Randi might catch on if I call her phone.”

“You’re so smart! You’ll see me in a week on your new movie too.”

“Really? That’s the best news I got all day but if you think I’m waiting a week to be inside you, you’re insane. Now go, just say I went to smoke and make calls if they ask where I am. I’ll give it a couple minutes.”

I gave him my email and walked out the door to go try and act like the hottest fucking thing to ever happen in my life, didn’t just go down. When I turned the corner, I nearly threw up and cane to a screeching halt. I met eyes with the estranged exgirlfriend. I didn’t wanna seem weird so I smiled and sat down to finish my meal, since turning around and running the other direction might bad. I mean as far as I was concerned he was single, so I had no reason to feel guilty of anything. And I didn’t plan on admitting that happened to anyone, so not telling her was totally fine. She tapped on my arm and I cautiously turned to her.

“Did you see Bill by chance?” She asked politely.

“He said he was smoking and making some important calls when he left the table earlier.”

She laughed a little and rolled her eyes, “that man and his cigarettes! I blame Hemlock Grove for turning him into a chainsmoker. He’s probably smoked two or three in a row.”

“All this talk about smoking makes me want one, I’ll go find him. Excuse me ladies.” Andy said, as he quickly walked towards the exit to find Bill.

“He’s probably going to warn Bill that I’m here. We got in a fight earlier and he can be such a brat. Watch when he comes back, he’ll pretend like nothing happened.”

Maybe she didn’t realize he really was done with her. She had a funny accent so I assumed she’s Swedish too. He was probably her only friend out here so I couldn’t help but pity her.

“Between silent treatments and smoking, Bill would be dead by morning.” Randi said with a mischievous wink.

“Oh if you could see his hissy fits, they’re the worst!” She enthused. “Anything in his hands he’ll throw and if it’s something like a sandwich or drinks and won’t hurt you, he’ll throw it on you. But then if I try and ignore him, he’ll lay on me like a big dead weight until I speak.” His girlfriend said, laughing hysterically. Everyone joined in telling stories of past boyfriends that were grown men, having varying degrees of tantrums, but I just sat silently. My ex story wasn’t funny.

Andy and Bill came back and I could feel an anxiety attack creeping up on me.

I looked up and Bill was staring at me and I looked to Randi and she had a puzzled look on her face. In an effort to not give anything away to her, my eyes shot back up to Bill.

Bill looked furious. He seethed animosity and I just looked down at my plate to avoid that glare. I wasn't sure if I was the cause or she was, but I desperately wanted to run out of the place screaming and looked at Randi again pleading with my eyes to go. She seemed to catch on and I tried to keep it together.

His ex got up and rushed over to him. Just as I looked up, she planted a soft kiss on his cheek. My eyes narrowed involuntarily as he glanced over at me, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. His girlfriend grabbed his face and kissed him right on the lips.

I felt like I was going to throw up. Tears threatened to spill but I held them back as I stared at my lap. I kept seeing Bill’s eyes as he looked up at me from between my legs. Flashes of him pinning me to the wall, or oh my fucking god! My underwear are in his pocket!

My pussy is on his face too and he just kissed her.

He seemed so genuine, but he was an actor, what did I expect. Faking Feelings and emotions was how he paid the bills. I couldn’t believe how stupid and guillable I was! He probably got off on this shit. Poor woman. I was exaggerating when I’d said he was a monster but goddammit I was right!!!

”Ok thank you for inviting us and I can't wait to see whoever is going to join us in Toronto, but Liv and I must be off for an important appointment and then packing.” Randi said her goodbyes as I walked around the table and stood beside her, keeping my back to Bill.

”Bye everybody. I had fun” I said Sweetly and then I turned on my heel and walked past Bill without a glance.

”See you two in Toronto.” Bill called after us, and even though I refused to look at him, I could feel his eyes burning into my back as we walked away.

#bill skarsgard #bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard au #bill skarsgard asks #my writing

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