#it's the first week or two of uni where everyone is meant to mingle | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kpersonkwriter · 4 years

Text

Comfort Zone

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Oneshot (College AU, Established relationship AU)

Word Count: 5840

Genre: Smutttttttt, some fluff

Warnings: Smut, temperature play (ice cubes), blindfold play (male receiving)

A/N: Written at 2 in the morning because insomnia is a whole ass bitch. But stay safe lovelies.

Anyone who knew you well knew that you were an enigma in itself. You were full of oxymorons – both hot and cold, both an extrovert and introvert and both a believer in the sciences and maths yet a believer in religion and the likes of astrology. You were a photography student, preferring to capture a story through the lens rather than be the focus of said lens, yet you were calculated, you always had a plan and thought things through before you did them. You hated parties – or any social interaction to be fair – preferring to coop up in your room with your camera and trusty Netflix selection. So anyone who saw what you were doing that night you met your boyfriend would have thought you were crazy and have told you to get checked out.

For one, you had gone to this party voluntarily, shocking your friends, and had even been the one to suggest going in the first place. You were the one to host pres in your room for your friends – Hwa Young, Ji Hye and Yoon Ah – before the three of you took an Uber to the house where the party was being held. One of your friends – although friends was a stretch – whom you had met on your course was throwing a congratulatory party and had invited you in one of the last lectures of the term that you two shared. You being you, of course hesitated, trying to come up with a socially acceptable excuse rather than “sorry I don’t know you that well to hang out at a party with you” for that seemed a tad rude. However, it was during your last lecture that following week that you had a change of heart and decided to go to the party anyway. Maybe it was because you too were fed up with the dissertation as well or the fact that you recently saw an Instagram post of your ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend. It caught you off guard since he had been the one to bring up the future, including marriage, yet decided to move on less than a month after he had broken up with you. You scoffed thinking about it, he had been tearful and said that he just didn’t love you anymore and that he had felt sorry for stringing you along. Complete and utter bullshit. The naïve you at the time was distraught yet your dissertation had to be completed and the party to finish it all of seemed to be a worthy distraction, and you supposed, a welcome change than sitting in your dorm room by yourself as the smell of flatmate’s weed seeped through the cracks of your door.

It was two and a half hours into the party when you became tipsy. Ji Hye and Yoon Ah having left with their respective girlfriend and boyfriend, as you stayed with Hwa Young, both of you currently engaged in a beer pong battle with two members of the football team. Hwa Young had asked if you were sure when you suggested this but honestly the sour taste that Instagram post had left you, alongside the overwhelming relief of submitting your dissertation, meant that you wanted to just forget everything. The spectators that had gathered you were hollering and shouting encouragement for you were the last ball with the winner being decided by your next shot. You smirked as you glanced at the two boys opposite you – Taehyung and Hoseok – if you remembered correctly as they wiped their mouths with the backs of their hands of the beer – or Jack Daniels – they had consumed. House rules meant that some cups had beer whist others had a JD with Red Bull instead. You made your shot with the only thing guiding it being hope as you hoped that you’d win. You heard the cheers before you as you were enveloped into a hug by Hwa Young and some other people you didn’t know. The crowd dispersed after the boys took their shots of Bacardi (they said it was their least favourite liquor) as they walked up to you.

“So I guess we owe you celebratory drinks?” Hoseok winked eyeing Hwa Young up and down, gesturing to the drinks station.

“I guess you do.” She giggled slotting his arms in his before turning to look at you. “You coming?”

“Nah, I’ll probably leave in a bit anyway. Go have fun.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. Go!” You lightly pushed her towards Hoseok as they made there way to the alcohol. You sighed, your introverted nature meaning that all the mingling had made you tired as the alcohol lessened its effects on you. You had a right mind to leave when someone handed you a cup in front of you. You eyed it suspiciously as you turned to face the man in front of you. And fuck. He was gorgeous. He was at least a head taller than you yet his body proportion was perfect. His lips were a beautiful glossy red and in all honesty you wanted to kiss him. His chest was broad and judging by your uni sports hoodie that he wore, you gathered he was on a sports team, quite possibly with Taehyung who had mentioned he was in a sports team in passing although you couldn’t remember which. His doe eyes looked at you expectantly for some sort of an answer whilst his raised eyebrows asked you whether or not you were going to take the cup at all.

“What is it?”

“Just water. A thank you drink for crushing Hoseok-hyung and Taehyung-hyung at beer pong.” He grinned.

“If it’s a thank you drink surely it should be some sort of alcohol?”

“Maybe, but you look done with everyone here so thought water would be better.”

“Thanks.”

It was a somewhat awkward conversation but you the more you two talked that night, the more you realised he was so far from the jock stereotype that movies and dramas portrayed. However, He was incredibly shy, fingers fidgeting with the sleeves of his hoodie, occasionally wiping his presumably sweaty palms on his jeans. It was only after you two moved to a quieter area, taking a seat on the pavement outside, that he made eye contact with you and started to let his personality shine through. You two ended up bonding over photography since he had a strong interest in videography. He had told you that he had been responsible for the Varsity video that year that went viral amongst your university for its impressive videography skills. He was scheduled to play football but was side-lined with an injury so decided to video everything instead. It quickly spread through social media and soon everyone had seen the video, it being projected on the plasma screens in the gym, the café, the shop, the library and the lobby of the lecture centre. As a result, Jung Kook had been somewhat of a celebrity within the football team and of course, almost naturally, the cheerleading squad. You had heard reports, and had witnessed that evening, that he would be approached by multiple girls in clubs yet refused their advances but paid no attention to them since you frankly just didn’t give a shit nor was he in your social circle. You also bonded over the love of dogs and was surprised to learn that you volunteered at the same local dog shelter although you had never ran into each other due to conflicting class schedules and thus free time. You chatted about your latest intake of dogs that had been found as strays in Mexico and how you had hoped that they’d find their adopted homes soon. And it was then, almost two hours later, that he stuttered asked if you wanted to walk two of the dogs together that weekend.

-----------------------

It was now 9 months later after your first date together and even that first date was to much debate between Jungkook and you. He claimed that since he did not label it as a date, your first date was actually two weeks later for a hot chocolate date, both of you disliking coffee for its’ bitterness. However, you claimed it was of course. Either way, you were still together three months later and currently on your way home from work.

Tonight was date night and you were sure Jungkook would have let himself in with the key to your apartment that you gave to him shyly as he left after a late movie night a couple of months ago. Yet you didn’t know what to expect that night. You two had been taken things slow, you being Jungkook’s first “proper” girlfriend and the scar that your ex had left you, and so you two hadn’t had sex yet. Jungkook had sex a couple of times before university, he told you, but they were fuelled by teenage desire and awkwardness that he said, in his own words, that he hadn’t had “proper” sex. However, he wanted you to be comfortable with him in opening up and trusting him before, as well as wanting to get to know you properly. You respected that and didn’t press him after that although you two had kissed but always left it with heavy pants from them instead.

As you stepped into your apartment that you had bought with Hwa Young after you two graduated (although she was currently on a Italy trip with Hoseok), you were hit with an intoxicating aroma, your stomach grumbling at the smell.

“Jungkook I’m home!”

“In the kitchen!”

“Hey,” You smiled, hugging his waist as the aroma of the pasta sauce hitting your nose. “Jungkook, did you cook?” You asked although the answer was clearly obvious at the image in front of you. Jungkook had a dishcloth thrown over his shoulder with a large red stain – suspiciously like red wine – at the bottom of his shirt with his grey jogging bottoms and barefeet. Ah, the typical Asian.

He turned round to give you a kiss as he noticed you staring and smiled sheepishly. “I spilled a bit and I didn’t bring a spare change of clothes.” And of course his broad chest would never fit in any of your tops.

“I’ve got one of your hoodies that I stole in my room. Pass the shirt so I can get it out.” He tossed it to you and you went to soak the shirt in the stain remover and water and let it soak before you dressed yourself and came out back into the kitchen to hand him your his hoodie. Yet you forgot he would be shirtless. You couldn’t help but linger your eyes over him as you watched him move around the kitchen, stood over the stove and stirring the sauce. He had a large tattoo – a dragon – covering his right shoulder and although this hadn’t necessarily been the first time seeing him shirtless (he loved to walk around shirtless when it was just you two in the apartment), it never ceased to amaze you at how devilishly and unfairly handsome he could be.

“When will dinner be ready? I’ll set the table.”

“Oh, is 10 minutes ok with you?”

“You’d better be careful Jungkook,” you warned him playfully. “I may never let you leave.”

Dinner was incredible, the pasta being delicious, although you refused seconds due to the simple laws of physics making any additional food in your stuffed stomach being impossible. You watched your boyfriend eat, a big smile painting your face, before he cleaned the plates and putting them in the sink before coming to sit next to you on the sofa, sipping your wine, as you put something on TV.

An hour later into some rom com, Jung Kook spoke. “I want to have sex tonight Y/N.”

Your attention was immediately diverted from the scene on TV as you escaped his arms and turned to face him. “You sure?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I’m sure Y/N.” He was fidgety again, reminiscent of the time when you first met, as he avoided your gaze. Smiling, you reached to lift his chin so he met your eyes.

“Tell me.”

“Huh?”

“Tell me what you’ve thought about.” You challenged him softly. Jungkook’s face turned a bright shade of red, eyes wanting so much to skirt away again. “Tell me Kook.”

His face turned an even deeper shade of crimson, blush only increasing at the thought of his fantasies about you.

“I’ve urm… thought of you dominating me.”

“Go on.” You smiled, swinging a leg over him to straddle him. You noticed the hiss in a breath of surprise as his hands grabbing her thighs.

“I’ve thought about you teasing me until I beg and you calling me…” He trailed off but a small kiss on neck urged him to carry on. “baby boy.” It was a whisper and you knew why. It was the complete opposite to the classic jock stereotype – manly and loud – yet you supposed Jung Kook was the complete opposite of a jock in many levels.

“Are you sure Kook? I don’t want you to do this and regret it.” Your eyes were almost black with desire and you were seriously testing your every ounce of self – control.

“I’m sure Y/N… I want to do it.”

“Ok… Safe word is red ok?” You gently kissed him on the lips as you felt him nod with a small “ok” before lifting a hand to cup the side of his face and you could honestly just sit and stare at his perfect face. Jungkook’s eyes slid closed as he leaned into your touch as they opened again as you brushed your thumb back and forth as your boyfriend mirrored your movement on your thighs. You snaked your hand to the back of his neck, weaving fingers into his hair, as you started to pepper kisses on the chamber of his neck. You would have missed the quiet moan if it had not be so close to your ear.

“Jungkook?”

“Hm?”

“Take me to the bedroom?” He nodded, lifting you up and taking you to your bedroom. Sitting down on the bed, you continued to straddle him, and moved to kiss him.

Every man had “their” style of kissing which could tell you a lot about the man himself. Sometimes two people simply didn’t click – teeth hit teeth, tongues worked against each other. Some were wetter, others were invaders as the entire length of their tongue whilst others barely penetrated your mouth. Some men were slow, savouring the slow rhythm, whilst others were heated and fast. And of course, some men were pythons, opening their mouths so wide that you feared you were witnessing a black hole. Of course every person had their own preference of kissers, and you? You hated the pythons and wet kissers but liked men who would let you set the pace. Jungkook was the one who let you set the pace.

Kissing Jungkook was a bit like coming home. It was comfortable for his lips were so soft and like silk which cushioned your lips. His lips were, you supposed, like your head hitting the pillow when your body was aching with the flu, it was a relief that you desperately needed. You couldn’t pinpoint “what” he was doing with the way he moved his mouth and tongue except describing it as being exactly right, with his tongue dancing with yours softly and elegantly.

Jungkook groaned as you slipped a hand underneath his hoodie, guiding the offensive item of clothing over his head, as you admired the beauty in front of you. And Jungkook was definitely a thing of beauty. He was unworldly. You ran your fingertips across his pecs that others dreamed about, then his shoulders and down the lines of his arms which he used every football practice and game. The crisp contours of his stomach, the clear definition of his pecs, the incredible construction of his arms all created a beautiful study in human form, each part of his body being the perfect form for the intended function of playing football weekly and having practice twice a week. You intended to study every bit of your boyfriend as you enjoyed his muscles twitch as you skimmed your fingertips across.

You leaned down, still straddling him, as you kissed his neck leaving a trail of hickeys up his neck before pushing yourself up to taste his chest. However, Jungkook seemed to have other ideas.

“Y/N… I want to touch you first.” He placed his hand on your wrists, stopping you. You smiled and settled back in his lap as Jungkook moves his hands to your sides as you hooked your fingers to take off your t-shirt that you had changed into, lifting it clean off your body. You were desperate by now, rocking your hips against Jungkook’s growing erection in his trousers, moans being heard as his hands reached to unhook your bra, pulling it off and throwing if to off to somewhere on the floor.

The moment that he started to explore your breasts and nipples was the moment you realised that your boyfriend was truly good, excellent even, at everything. And that he was truly an oxymoron, like you. The very few jocks that you had been with were sloppy, them presenting a front that they were a sex god when in reality they couldn’t even locate the clit. But Jungkook? He was a natural prodigy. Either that or he had been with more women that he let on, and you trusted his words.

He studied your face for the slightest indication of your pleasure and responded to the slightest movement or sound that you made as he worked your touch on you. He’d barely begun on lightly biting your nipples, having sucked hickeys on the flesh of your breast, and you were already uninhibited at his ministrations.

“What do you want Y/N? I want you to tell me.”

You pressed off his lap before standing, pulling off your panties and dropping them to the floor, before climbing onto Jungkook’s lap.

“Please Y/N. I want to make you feel good.” It was sexy, his desire to make you happy and satisfied, and you smiled as you took his hands, guiding it between your legs, moving it up and down your lips.

“You’re wet.” It was a breathless statement.

“You make me.” You bought his hand up to your lips before sucking on them, maintaining eye contact all the time, and you swore that you saw his eyes turn to black with lust. That seemed to have flicked the switch inside him as he pushed one of his fingers inside you, causing your body to spasm at the feeling and throwing your head back and crying out in pleasure. You matched the pace of his fingers by riding him, breathing becoming heavy.

“Tell me what you want Y/N.” Jungkook whispered, almost breathless at the sight, sound and feeling of you becoming undone at his touch.

“Deeper Kook.” You, the strong, stubborn one in your friendship group that never took no for an answer, had resorted to begging now.

Jungkook listened immediately to what you asked, adding another finger before thrusting deep inside. You yelled as he hit the sweet spot inside you.

“Right there Kook! Don’t stop.” You yelled as he hit the sweet spot. “Add another finger Kook, please.” You just about panted out, changing into a sigh of pleasure as he thrust three fingers into you. He took his other hand and placed it on your clit and started his next assault of ministrations there forcing you to collapse in pleasure on his shoulder for the combination of him rubbing your clit and you riding his fingers was almost overwhelming. Jungkook caught on immediately, not stopping his assault.

“Right there. Right there. Don’t stop Kook. Faster. Harder.” You panted in his ear and it only fuelled Jungkook to go faster and harder, something about you getting closer to your orgasm turning him on immensely.

You couldn’t take anymore of his perfect assault and you hit an earth shattering orgasm, screaming his name, eyes rolling to the back of your head as your body spasmed over and over as Jungkook looked at you almost in wonder, as if he questioned if he was really the one to make you feel like that. He felt your muscles contracting around your fingers as you collapsed against his chest, your body eventually relaxing and sagging against him. Pants from both yourself and Jungkook filled the room as you came down from your high and Jungkook as he held you in his arms.

But apparently that wasn’t enough for Jungkook, who resumed his assault with the intensity that had driven you over the edge. It wasn’t long before another orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks as you jerked and contracted on his fingers again with pleasure as Jungkook held you again as you shook again. You immediately felt the loss as Jungkook withdrew his fingers as he held you tight against him, stroking your hair and whispering compliments and ‘are you ok?’s into your ear.

After regaining a sense of yourself and some energy, you moved up to kiss him again as your hands moved down to his waist to his jogging bottoms and hooked your thumbs under the elastic, Jungkook freezing mid-kiss as his breath hitched. You slid his trousers free of his hips and moved to allow you slid them down his legs, throwing them somewhere to the side. Jungkook hissed as his erection was free from his trouser – he went commando since you were the only one home in the apartment – as his eyes were glued to you leaving a trail of kisses down his body.

“Fuck,” you unknowingly muttered looking back up to catch his eyes unable to control your expression of just pure awe. You had seen long cocks, short cocks, thick cocks, thin cocks, pretty ones and ugly ones but this was the most beautiful cock you had ever seen. He was huge and thick, although not unnervingly so.

“I hope that’s a good fuck?”

“You play in the men’s football team and you’ve probably seen all the guy’s cocks. You must know that you’re… impressive.”

“I know that I’m larger than average.” He said sheepishly as you rolled your eyes at what you deemed as the understatement of the century. “But the girls that I’ve been with said that I hurt them and I… don’t want to hurt you Y/N.” The concern was evident in his features and you smiled as Jungkook’s nature shone through even in times like this. Contrary to the tough guy image as a jock, he would stop and at least pet every stray dog that you met on your walks or would point out beautiful flowers along your walks. He had a gentle soul and it was a stark contrast to the competition driven player he was on the pitch.

“If you take it slow then I’ll be fine and once I adjust it won’t hurt. But first I want to blindfold you if you’re ok with that.”

“I’d love that Y/N.” He broke into a smile as you got up to your chest of drawers, pulling out a tie that you had once worn to a Halloween party a year ago (and had regretted thus leaving an hour into said party).

He was entranced and completely fixated by you as you moved up towards him again, kissing his stomach as they clenched in reaction.

“What’s the safe word Kook?”

“Red.”

“Good.”

“Y/N,” Your name escaped his lips as he sucked in another sharp breath as you pressed a kiss to the head of his now raging cock. It was now an angry red, itching to be inside you as you wrapped the tie around his head, making sure to completely block his eyes. You instructed him to lie down and he did, with his head resting on the pillow, lips parted in anticipation and his cock impossibly hard.

Jungkook forgot to breath momentarily when you placed a hand on his chest, slowly lettings your fingernails rake his chest, drawing light feather circles around his shoulder. To Jungkook however, it was a painfully teasing touch as goose bumps erupted across his skin. You were teasing him with the lightest of touches that sent his nerves on end, as he waited for you to touch the next bit of skin, hypnotising him as no – one had ever touched him like you were currently doing. The next touch on his pecs were so light that it almost tickled with each touch bringing nerve endings to life. Jungkook honestly felt that his pecs were on fire with the perfect feeling of your teasing touch as his body jerked in reaction as his breathing became suddenly ragged as he didn’t know how to handle the sensation that you’d shocked him with.

“Wait here Kook.” You whispered into his ear as an idea struck you, smiling devilishly although he couldn’t see. You made your way to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge as you made your way back. When you came back, you took a deep gulp of the water that had been in the fridge for three days as you held the freezing water in your mouth. Once satisfied, you leaned into Jungkook again who immediately smiled at your closeness as you wrapped your lips around the head of his cock. Jungkook let out an audible groan, hands feeling your head as he wrapped his hands around the back of your hair, pulling your more deeply into his mouth. His body involuntarily jerked upwards, his cock hitting the roof of your mouth.

“Shit I’m so sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean to do that.” He moved his hands to pull the tie from his eyes as you saw the pain in his eyes. You smiled, hoping to reassure him a little, before grabbing his hands and holding them against his sides. You then smirked as you angled your head forward and slowly ran your tongue down his length from the tip before taking him deep into the back of your throat with no warning.

“Y/N!” Jungkook breathed, hands formed into tight fists.

Jungkook’s entire length didn’t fit into your mouth, since you had a small gag reflex, so you added your hand to the mix and began working his length with your fist and mouth, varying the speed and pressure. You heard Jungkook’s moans and groans and it had been minutes of you sucking him, deepthroating him as well as giving him a hand job and Jungkook’s reaction was almost absent. He didn’t even seem to be on edge and you frowned as you sat back.

“Am I doing something wrong Kook?”

“Of course not.”

“Buy you’re not close to coming?”

“You want me to… cum in your mouth?” It was such an innocent question which reflected his puppy dog expression that he had on his face at that moment in time, minus the hair that stuck to his forehead from the sweat or his flushed cheeks.

“Of course Kook. I want to taste you.” You replied, straight – faced, as if it was the most matter of fact thing.

“I-“ It was cut off as you took him back into your mouth again, smiling around his as you heard and felt Jungkook succumb to the pleasure. Loud moans echoed in the room as you increased your intensity, one hand around the base of his cock and the other cupping his balls, palming and playing with them as you bought him closer and closer to his high. Jungkook was trembling by now and his hands grabbed your hair as he yelled your name as he came, body going rigid as he released in your mouth. You continued to gently suck him as he released more into your mouth, swallowing every bit of him deeply, meeting Jungkook’s eyes. His jaw dropped and you smiled, using a finger to wipe some from the corner of your mouth, Jungkook continuing to stare as his mouth opened then shut as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.

You slid back up to his chest and nestled into his side as he held you tight, placing a kiss to your hair as you traced lazy circles with your nails. In all honestly, you were dripping wet from sucking and teasing him, high from the response you’d been given, yet you didn’t want to overwhelm your boyfriend.

“Let me know when you want to continue.” You whispered in his ear.

It couldn’t have been more than 5 minutes before Jungkook said he was ready.

“Thank god.” You blurted out for you were so wet from sucking him.

“Y/N, are you sure you want to do this?” He held you against his sides. You took his hands between your legs to show him how wet you were for him.

“I’m sure Kook.”

“I don’t want to hurt you Y/N.”

“I promise that you won’t hurt me. I’ll take it slow.”

“Promise?”

“Promise Kook.” You kissed him, hoping that you reassured him enough. It seemed to work as you felt tension leave his body as he deepened the kiss.

“I know you want me to fully dominate you but next time. Tonight we’re taking things slow.” You kissed him one last time as you moved to straddle him, as you did earlier, Jungkook groaning as he felt your wetness on his cock.

“Y/N please.” He begged and you took it as a sign to sit on him so that he entered you. You took it slow, his length and girth stretching you completely. The sharp pain of the first inch of him lasted moments longer than it normally took to feel comfortable because he was so big but you waited before taking a few more inches of him. You had tried your best to hide your pain as not to worry Jungkook but it was evidently futile.

“Y/N are you ok?” Jungkook asked in a panic. He tried to pull out of you but you held his hips firmly against you.

“I’m fine Kook. Just need to adjust a bit.” You smiled, stroking his cheek.

“For as long you need.”

It struck you then that he hadn’t taken any pleasure at all, too focused on you instead, as he held your hips so that you didn’t completely take him in. It felt impossibly long for you to fully take him in, adjusting to his big size, but it eventually dissipated as pleasure overtook to be the overwhelming feeling.

“Kook,” you cried as your breath hitched. “Move.”

It was a tentative, small movement at first as you cried his name again and dug your nails into his shoulders. You could tell that he believed that you weren’t in pain anymore when his own eyes clenched shut as he allowed pleasure to hit as you continued to ride him, enjoying Jungkook turning his attention to your breast as he licked, bit and sucked them, causing you to moan loudly.

“Y/N… I’m going to…”

“Then do Kook.”

“Want to be on top when I do.” It was a grunt and you knew that he was doing everything in his power to not coming. He moved so that now he was on top, thrusting in and out of you, revelling the feeling of how you felt. You were everything that he had dreamed about and more, with your hair an imperfect mess, stray strands sticking to the sweat on your forehead. Your lips were slightly swollen from kissing him that night and he could honestly spend the rest of his life just kissing you. Your neck were sure to be peppered with hickeys the next day but he couldn’t care less when it looked so inviting. Your breasts were the same as he moved to massage one of them in his hand whilst holding your nipple in between his teeth and lightly pulling upwards. And the best thing of all in his opinion were your eyes. They lit up talking about photography especially with your master’s degree show and submission of your portfolio coming up, cried at the ending scene from Marley and Me and were currently dark with lust yet still radiated the pure love that you had for him.

“Want you to go harder.”

“It’s been too long… I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I promise to tell if you’re hurting me ok?” You urged him down to be able to kiss him again as you started to match his thrusts to let him know that you were ready. Jungkook got the hint as he increased his speed as you urged him on.

“Harder Kook please.” You begged as he pushed stronger and deeper, your moans and begging serving as encouragement. He moved his weight from his forearms to wrapping his hands around your shoulders, holding you and bracing your body as he thrusted harder into you.

You kept begging for more and Jungkook pounded into you with such intensity you hadn’t though possible, you gritting your teeth at the force as his hands were sure to leave imprints on your shoulders as he pulled them as he slammed into you.

“Feels so good Kook. Let go.” He kept thrusting and it eventually became too much for both of you as you came first, walls pulsing around him as you cried his name, panting heavily. It was that image that threw him off the edge as he came impossibly deep inside you, releasing his cum as he slumped on top of you, although being careful that he wouldn’t crush you with his body weight. Heavy panting filled the room as he pressed a small kiss to your shoulder.

“Love you Y/N.”

“I love you too Kook.” You smiled, matching his.

Once you had gained some sense of normality and control, he gently placed you beside him on the bed before coming back shortly after with a glass of water in his hand and a towel from the bathroom.

“Here.” He gave you the water as you gulped down a sip as Jungkook moved to wipe the wetness from your thighs with the towel.

“How did that compare to your imagination?”

“100 times better. Thank you.” He threw the towel to the floor before joining you in the bed, holding you in his arms. He traced lazy circles across your stomach as his built size enveloped you – you loved how little you felt wrapped around him.

“You’re so tiny.” He whispered.

“Can still kick your ass baby boy.” And both you and Jungkook had content smiles painted on your faces as you let sleep take over you. Who knew that stepping outside your comfort zone would let you meet your comfort zone? You guessed that life was weird and funny like that.

#bts #bts fanfic #jungkook fic #jeongkook smut #jungkook fluff #bts writing #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook writing

58 notes · View notes

supercalvin · 4 years

Note

Aawwww, I adore your ficlets so so much! If I may be so bold and prompt smth too? I loved your Brynn canon time story - Do you feel like maybe writing a modern setting version with Brynn? Maybe Merlin and Arthur adopt her or somehow find her or to her? And they just know she belongs to their little family? That’d be so wonderful, but just if you like. Thank youuuu! 💞💞💞💞

YAY! I love this idea! I probably should have written this for Father’s Day, but better late than never.

Also, this ficlet doesn’t have anything to do with the first ficlet, but if anyone is interested >>> Canon AU Kid!fic

Prompts + Ficlets

***

Gwen had been working at the adoption agency for close to ten years now. So when Merlin and Arthur, some of her closest friends in the world, tentatively asked her how they could go about adopting, she was over the moon.

They went through the paperwork and screening fairly quickly, since Gwen knew all the ins-and-outs. She could tell that they were both fairly nervous, although in their different ways. Merlin was anxiously talking about all the statistics and best ways to help a child adjust from foster living to a forever-home. Arthur was quiet most of the time, which wasn’t altogether that odd, except he would get this terrified look in his eye every time Gwen talked about the two of them becoming ‘fathers.’ Knowing Arthur’s own father hadn’t always been the best role model, Gwen didn’t blame him for looking like he was about to be sick at the word.

The adoption agency set up a picnic for a small group of potential parents and foster children, with plenty of food and a few scheduled activities. Gwen was working, so she couldn’t keep a close eye on her friends as she facilitated the event, but when she went to check up on them, they were doing alright.

The next activity was group painting, and Gwen paired everyone up and started them by telling them to paint anything they wanted and see where it took them.

Barely a minute into the activity, her coworker pulled her aside, and said she needed help with one of the kids.

Gwen had noticed that Brynn hadn’t been particularly enthusiastic about today’s picnic. Gwen didn’t blame her. She was ten years old, which was much older than all the other kids here, most of whom were five to seven years old. She was sitting on a nearby bench rolling her ever-present football under her feet.

Gwen sat down next to her.

“I don’t want to finger paint.”

Gwen did not want to point out that the kids weren’t finger painting and did not mention Brynn’s tone either.

“You don’t have to, love,” Gwen said with a sigh. “Do you want to stay, or do you want me to call your foster parent to pick you up?”

Brynn shrugged.

Most parents wanted to adopt young kids. Six years old was usually the limit. The older kids got, the less likely they were to be adopted. Brynn knew that just as well as Gwen did.

“Hey,” Gwen looked up to see Arthur, a crease in his brow as he looked at the two of them. “Everything alright?”

Gwen nodded, “We’re just taking a break.”

Arthur nodded, “I don’t blame you. It’s kind of overwhelming. Mind if I join? I already knocked over half the paint tins. I’ll leave the painting to Merlin.”

That’s when Gwen noticed that Arthur’s leg was covered in blue and green paint.

Brynn snorted and Gwen felt something like hope tighten in her chest.

Arthur sat down in the grass in front of the bench and Brynn automatically looked hesitant again, eying Arthur suspiciously.

“I don’t want to talk,” She said to Arthur.

Arthur nodded, looking rather serious. “I don’t want to talk either.”

Brynn looked a little affronted that her own game had been turned on her.

Despite outward appearances, Gwen could see that this was going well.

“I have to go help with the painting. Are you two going to be alright taking a break?” She looked for confirmation from Brynn that she was alright being left alone with Arthur.

Brynn nodded, and Gwen patted her on the shoulder, “Just let me know if you need anything. Don’t forget to get a snack later too.”

Gwen went to help with the paint (it was a rather messy activity, but that usually encouraged bonding) but she kept a close eye on Brynn and Arthur.

She saw that Arthur had laid in the grass next to Brynn and they didn’t seem to be talking, just soaking in the sun and getting away from everyone else. Gwen had always noticed that Arthur would easily get overwhelmed at parties, and often found him taking breaks out on patios or front porches before going back in to mingle.

When she looked back again, Arthur was sitting up and Brynn seemed to be talking. Arthur nudged the football under her feet and soon enough the two of them were teasingly knocking the ball between them. Arthur juggled the football for a few seconds and Brynn tried it out too. Gwen could tell that Arthur showed her how to balance the ball on the end of her foot and encouraged her when it didn’t work. They were in their own little world, running in the grass and kicking the football back and forth between them.

“How old is she?”

Gwen startled. She hadn’t even noticed Merlin standing next to her, watching his husband and Brynn.

“Ten,” She said, knowing Merlin would know what that meant.

Gwen turned to look at him, and she could see tears in his eyes, a clenched fist nervously held to his chest.

“Go,” Gwen nudged him.

Merlin hesitated, “I can’t kick a football for the life of me.”

She pushed him, “Go fall on your arse. I’m sure Brynn will love it.”

Merlin took a halting step forward, taking a breath and running over to the pair. There was a quick introduction that couldn’t have been more than, ‘Merlin, catch!’ as Arthur nudged the ball over to him. Merlin got in a few good kicks to Brynn but sure enough, Merlin was horrible with a football. Brynn kicked the ball to him and he slipped over it and fell on his arse.

Brynn looked scared for a second, like she thought she’d done something wrong, but then Arthur burst out laughing. Gwen always loved Arthur’s real laugh. It was obnoxious and sounded more like a donkey’s bray than a laugh.

“Shut up! I’m not a football lad like you!” Merlin threw the ball at Arthur, who easily caught it in his hands.

Brynn visibly relaxed and Gwen saw her smile, which was a rare sight that made Gwen’s heart fly in her chest.

Arthur gave Merlin his hand and hauled Merlin back onto his feet, mockingly dusting him off before Merlin pushed him away. They resumed their game, passing the ball in a triangle between the three of them. They didn’t seem to be talking a lot, but Gwen didn’t think that would work for Brynn. She would open up only when she felt comfortable, and if football was the way to do that, then Merlin and Arthur were leaps and bounds ahead of any other potential parent.

Gwen told her coworkers to start the next activity without her, and she went to the food table to grab a couple snacks and a few juices.

When she approached the trio, Brynn was talking about her favorite footballer, “-won the football world cup and she’s one of the best ever.”

“Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to make sure you stay hydrated.”

“Oh thank god, Gwen, save me. Is that juice?” Merlin took the bottle from her, looking grateful. She laughed as Merlin looked absolutely desperate, after only a few minutes of sport talk.

“I’ll take some crisps, if you’ve got them,” Arthur said and Brynn followed his lead, which Gwen took as a great sign.

Soon enough, Gwen was settling them down in the grass munching on their snacks as they chatted. The rest of the potential parents and foster children eventually got their own snacks and joined them out on the grass, and the picnic was coming to a close.

The parents said goodbye, some good connections made and Gwen hoped for the best. The kids were ushered into the bus to be dropped off at their foster homes. Brynn lingered at the bus door, football under her arm. Merlin and Arthur were also lingering on the other side of the park. Their heads were bent close together and Gwen could tell they were talking rather seriously.

Brynn looked over to them and then back to Gwen, as if to ask if she really had to leave.

“Come on, Brynn. You’ll see them again. They already made an appointment with the agency.”

“An appointment?” Brynn asked looking up with big eyes.

Gwen nodded, trying to hold back a smile, “You’ll see them next week. Come on,�� She ushered Brynn onto the bus and Gwen took a seat next to her.

“Merlin and Arthur are some of best friends. I’ve known them since I was in uni,” Gwen said, not looking at her, trying to be casual. “Merlin’s a doctor and Arthur’s a personal trainer.”

“Do they have kids?” Brynn asked quietly.

“No,” Gwen said, “They really clicked with you. Did you have a good time?”

Brynn nodded, still hugging the football to her chest. “Mr. Arthur promised to teach me how to juggle the football.” Brynn was quiet again, but that was alright. It had been a long day and Gwen had never seen Brynn as open as she had been on grass.

Soon enough there would be more visits and more paperwork. Soon enough Merlin and Arthur would be bringing Brynn her own luggage to move her out of her foster home to their home. Soon enough there would be official documents and a celebration to Brynn’s official adoption.

But for now, Brynn leaned against Gwen’s side with her football clutched in her chest.

***

Prompts + Ficlets

#merlin #merthur #merlin fic #merthur fic #kid!fic #kid fic #adoption #tracionn #ficlets

21 notes · View notes

magnoliasinbloom · 5 years

Text

Lullaby

AO3 :: Previously

Epilogue - One year later

I pushed the door open, hearing the ancient wood creak pleasantly in the frigid December air. Jamie and I entered the Fraser home, a cooing and fussy Faith in my arms.

“Hallo the house!” Jamie called out. Footsteps clicked out into the hall, and Mum came running to pry Faith from me.

“Hi, Mum, glad to see you, too.” I leaned in and kissed her cheek.

“I’m so glad ye finally made it!” Ellen trailed after Mum, stopping to pinch Faith’s chubby cheeks and make her squeal in delight. Then she engulfed me in a bone-crushing hug, before turning to embrace Jamie in a similar fashion. He was practically lost in the effusiveness of her greeting before I cleared my throat.

“Do ye think we could come in before Faith catches pneumonia?” Jamie gave his mum a final squeeze before he shut the door, leaving soft white specks on our coats.

“Come in, come in!” Ellen pushed us indoors, taking our coats and talking incessantly. I could smell delectable baking from Ellen’s kitchen, mingled with the sharp scent of pine and something unmistakably Christmas in the air.

“Here, Mum, set her down a bit,” I coaxed her, and held Faith’s pudgy hands in mine for a minute before I let go. She toddled into the living room, to the delighted gasps of both our families. Dad sat on the couch with Brian, his arms gesturing towards his granddaughter. Jenny and Ian were there, with their own brood of children. Ellen hurried after us, wiping her hands on an apron.

Maggie, Jenny’s youngest, took Faith’s hand and led her to the tree. After double checking the lights and baubles were safe for her to explore, I let her be, at Jenny’s urging.

“She’s that careful, wee Maggie is. Like a mother hen,” she said fondly. At one year four months, Faith was lisping out a few words, adorable in a red velvet dress Mum had sent over as a Christmas gift. A pair of black patent leather shoes completed the outfit.

I held Jamie’s hand and took the scene in. All the people I loved were together; I hadn’t seen them in a few weeks; Jamie and I had been so busy wrapping up the semester at uni and with various holiday parties—not to mention caring for Faith.

Mum sauntered over, as Jamie was taken hostage by Ellen. “I always knew…” she smiled satisfied to herself.

I blushed. “Mum, please, it’s been a year!” I smiled back, however.

“I’m just so glad to see you happy, love. You didn’t think you deserved it.”

“Sometimes, I still wonder. But I’ve given up trying to understand it. It just is, and nothing could be better,” I added softly, watching Jamie greet everyone in the room while Faith followed him around.

Jenny was thrilled to see me, and pulled me into a corner for a lengthy conversation. “Tell me everything! How have ye been?” She held my hands in hers, clenched with emotion.

“It’s been pretty great,” I admitted, and couldn’t help but grin at her too.

It had been more than great. Despite the obvious period of adjustment, it had all gone as smoothly as we could have hoped. I kept up with my job part-time at Waterstones, Mum helped take care of Faith when I had class, and Jamie pitched in however and whenever he could. I had enough for Faith’s needs; Jamie had money of his own saved up, not to mention a trust fund from the Lallybroch estate, and I’d had a hard time convincing him that he was not allowed to pay for everything just because he could.

We had endless discussions about that. Hashing out the details about how living together would work, I remember holding Faith while she was colicky and myself taut with frayed nerves.

“Jamie, you are under no obligation—” I began.

“Of course I am, Sassenach! There is obligation in love, dinna ye ken? Not because it’s what I think I should do, but because it’s what I want to do.” Jamie came over and took a wailing Faith in his arms. “Now, go on up and get ye to bed. Ye’re tired and frazzled and it will all seem better in the morn.”

We reached a compromise in the end; we would go halves on things like groceries, but I would get everything else Faith needed, from nappies to clothes and graham crackers. The three of us moved into Jenny and Ian’s old flat in March. Not long after that, I discovered that Jamie took the money I have him for all shared expenses and deposited it into a bank account he had created for Faith. I had wanted to be furious at him but failed.

“You can come down and visit us, anytime,” I offered.

“I’ll say the same to ye. If ye wanted to leave Faith with me and Mam, give ye two some privacy,” Jenny said slyly. I saw the question she really wanted to ask and blushed before she’d uttered a word.

I glanced at Jamie, who was talking to my father, and tried not to get sidetracked into remembering his kisses, his touch… sharing Jamie’s bed was not something that had happened immediately. I had worried about it endlessly, and knew everyone assumed things when we announced we were moving in together. But it hadn’t been like that at all.

~ ~ ~

That first night, I stood in the midst of cardboard boxes, looking at Faith in her new crib. Brian and Ellen had sent it, insisting the old one stay behind for when we visited Mum and Dad. We had a bit more room in the flat than at my parents’, but there were still only two rooms. I couldn’t figure out where I’d be sleeping. I’d felt Jamie come into the tiny living room, and pause by the sofa.

I’d be lying if I’d said I hadn’t thought about it since our first trembling kiss. I had felt my face flush a deep red, while waves of hot and cold alternatively wash over me. I turned to look at Jamie, and smiled nervously. I sat on the sofa, picking at imaginary lint on my sweater. I had not been able to look up at him until he took my hands in his.

“Sassenach…” He hesitated, unsure. “I ken this is a big change. That this, um—us, is still relatively new. I just want to tell you that I’m no expecting anything. Physically. Whatever you want, whatever ye’re comfortable with, is fine wi’ me.”

I felt his eyes burn into mine and knew he meant it. I wasn’t ready for that particular aspect of our relationship either. Not yet.

So that night, and for about two months afterward, I bedded on the sofa. Jamie had argued adamantly for me to take the bedroom while he would kip on the couch, but I had refused. Besides, I told him, I needed to be close to Faith to feed her in the night. He hadn’t said anything more after that.

Until one rainy May night, when I couldn’t sleep. It was around three in the morning, and Faith had been sleeping soundly since nine. We had both stayed up, while Jamie read over his notes and I watched Netflix. He’d gone to bed before I did, giving me a soft goodnight peck on the lips before he went to his room. Feeling oddly lonely, I’d switched off the television. I checked up on Faith, who didn’t even stir. Already in my pajamas, I hit the kitchen lights and settled into the sheets draped over the sofa. I tossed and turned, but couldn’t close my eyes.

Finally I sat up, running my hands restless through my curls. I glanced at Jamie’s door, barely visible across the short hallway that separated the tiny kitchen from the bedroom. I rose from the sofa, my legs shaking slightly as I took the baby monitor with me. I padded silently to the door, and stood facing it for what felt like an eternity. I brought my hand up to knock, then faltered. What am I doing? I nearly turned around and ran back to the sofa before I caught myself. I tried to analyze and be rational about that I was feeling—then shook my head as I remembered the first time he’d said, “I love you.” My heart leapt at the thought, and gave me courage. I raised my hand and knocked softly.

“Sasenach?” Jamie’s voice was muffled through the door. He was kind of a light sleeper. I pushed the door open, the only sound now the pounding rain outside the window. Typical Glasgow weather. Jamie switched on the bedside lamp. “Are ye alright? Is it Faith?” He swung his legs over the edge of the bed before I could speak. He wore a green t-shirt and black boxers. It made me self-conscious.

“No, Jamie, she’s fine. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” I ran my fingers lightly over the knob, uncertain. He was still looking at me in the bright lamplight. I felt like an idiot; there was no remotely cool way to do this. I tried to smile. “It’s just that… I can’t sleep.”

Jamie blinked, then nodded. “Oh. Alright. Do ye want to take something to help ye?” I shook my head.

“Do you think maybe, I could… just lie down for a while? Until I fall asleep?” I asked him shyly. I crossed my arms, cradling my elbows in the palms of my hands.

He still looked a little dazed. Wordlessly, he nodded, and made some room beside him on the queen-sized bed. Closing the door behind me, I went silently to the bed and laid the baby monitor on the nightstand. I crept towards the edge of the bed, and sat lightly on it. I looked over my shoulder at him.

“May I turn off the lamp?” Jamie reached across the bed, and I nodded. A tiny amount of light seeped in through the window, casting shadows from the rivulets of rain that trickled down the glass. I curled on my side, huddling close to the edge of the bed as I gripped the sheets and tucked them around me. I could hear him settle into the bed, shifting slightly. I shut my eyes, willing my heart to stop pounding so furiously.

All of a sudden, I felt Jamie’s hands around my waist, as he pulled me closer to the centre of the bed. “Ye’re about to fall off, Sassenach.” I felt my back tense. My heart still stuttered erratically, as an odd tremor half-fear, half-delight rippled through me; a mixture that made me both want to run from the room and stay there forever.

His hands moved away from my body quickly, as though it burned. I hesitated, before I turned to face him, biting my lip. His eyes searched mine, and he held perfectly still. I understood; Jamie wanted me to make the first move, to make sure it was what I wanted. I freed one of my hands from beneath the sheets, and slowly reached out to trace his sweet wide mouth with my fingers.

“Jamie.” He closed his eyes, and sighed, his breath warm. It sent shivers up my spine. He pulled me even closer, his lips pressed to mine before I could say anything else. I became undone. The taste of his mouth left me dizzy and breathless with exhilaration. Passion blazed inside me, blurring all boundaries and lines. I sought his lips as much as he wanted mine. I lost all sense of time and place as he kissed me. I closed my eyes when his mouth wandered to the hollow at the base of my throat, trailing upwards to graze my ear.

Jamie’s hands roved restlessly down my side; he grazed my breast and pulled his hand away. I grasped it and placed it firmly back. He laughed nervously. “Sassenach… Claire… ye ken that I havena ever… been wi’ anyone before…”

“Do you want to… do you want me?” I gasped as he kneaded my breasts gently, more confidently, and I arched into him.

“Of course I want ye, Sassenach,” he breathed. “If ye’ll have me.”

“Yes. Yes, I’ll have you.” My own hands fluttered like moths down his back; I pressed my body into his, feeling just how much he wanted me. I felt a swooping sensation low in my belly, like a rollercoaster. My skin flared in response as heat raced through me, and I wanted more, more, more.

Jamie tangled his fingers in my hair, touching his forehead to mine. “I love ye.” His voice was soft in the dark.

“I love you too.” My breath came fast and shallow. The sheer intensity of the moment made my heart beat almost painfully. He smiled and kissed me again, deeply. It was too much. I tossed my head from side to side as he traced his mouth over my collarbone, down my chest, and lifted the shirt of my pajamas to kiss my belly.

I had seen the silvery lines of stretch marks linger on my skin after Faith’s birth. I tried to cover myself up again, but Jamie wasn’t having it. “No, Claire, I want ye. All of ye. Dinna be afraid—there’s the two of us now.”

He trailed down, down, putting his mouth on the most secret part of me. My body bowed off the bed as I cried out in pleasure. Jamie left me panting; he climbed back up my body with kisses and my fists gripped the sheets. He lined up to my entrance, holding his weight on his arms. They trembled with the effort and anticipation. I cradled his face in my hands, whiskey and blue meeting, swallowing his gasp as I opened for him and he pressed inside.

As his scent pervaded the air and flooded my senses, I was barely aware that the voice whispering yes yes yes was my own.

~ ~ ~

I omitted all intensely private details of course, but Jenny saw through the whole thing in my blushes and stammering. I couldn’t hide how much I wanted Jamie.

“Everyone here is verra happy for ye both, Claire,” she gushed, hugging me tightly.

“I’ve heard,” I said dryly, still self-conscious about it all. We both left our discreet corner when Ellen called us to dinner. She and Ellen had produced a high chair for Faith, setting her between Jamie and me.

As we settled around the huge dining room table, I glimpsed a lot of smiling faces and laughing conversations. Dishes and silverware clinked musically together, as Jamie helped me feed Faith. She waved her spoon around enthusiastically, managing to drop it only a handful of times. She was the center of attention. We shared all the cute and crazy things Faith did, and how we were managing now that she insisted on walking.

After dinner, once the dishes were cleared, we made our way back to the living room. Presents were piled beneath the trimmed Christmas tree branches, and Dad was quick to pick out Faith’s wrapped gifts. Of course, she had more fun playing with the shiny paper and bows than the toys themselves. While she tangled herself up in ribbons and tape, the rest of us exchanged presents.

Brian and Ellen got me a beautiful gold locket, with space inside to put a small picture. Mum and Dad gave me a new mobile. “To fill it up with pictures of Faith that we expect forwarded to us immediately,” they said. Jenny gave me stunning new earrings for special occasions. The gifts under the tree dwindled, and soon everyone was expressing thanks and hugging each other.

While everyone was distracted, I quietly pulled out a wrapped package from Faith’s diaper bag. I held it out to Jamie, who sat next to me.

“Merry Christmas.” I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

“Thank ye, Sassenach.” He grinned and shook the box. “May I guess?”

“Open it and see.” I smiled back as he tore the paper. It was a wooden cube where I had pasted photographs: of Faith, of him holding Faith, and of the three of us. It had been hard to choose just six, but I thought I’d done a good job of it; one agonizing afternoon of arts and crafts later, here was the result.

“It’s nothing much, I made it myself,” I began.

“Claire.” He stopped me with a peck on the lips. “I love it and I love ye.”

“I also got you a bottle of your favorite whiskey,” I said slyly. “But it’s at home.”

“Aye, I found it,” Jamie added with a laugh. “Ye pick the most obvious hiding spots, Sassenach.” He bounded off the sofa and reached under the tree for one last gift. “And this one’s for ye.”

The small, square box was wrapped in gold paper. Jamie held it out and I took it, trying to guess what it was by its weight. He sat beside me, gesturing for me to get on with it and unwrap it. I picked the paper off slowly, stopping to watch Faith almost topple into the tree and get rescued by Brian. Finally, I was left holding a white box with a lid.

I glanced at Jamie, who only shrugged. I lifted the lid and inside the box was a dark blue velvet jewelry case. The shape was small and squat. My heart almost stopped. I could only stare at the box before Jamie sighed and reached over to pluck it out of the white box and put it in the palm of my hand. It was only then that I noticed the silence around us.

I looked up to see everyone staring at Jamie and me, their eyes riveted on the jewelry box. Ian managed to stammer, “Is that what I think it is?” before Jenny elbowed him in the ribs.

My own eyes widened as I looked at Jamie, blushing. It was so quiet you could almost hear the lights humming on the tree. Even Faith stood still next to Brian, expectant. Jamie’s blue eyes were filled with laughter, eager, pleading, knowing. I glanced down at the box, scared, but slowly opened it.

Nestled in the dark blue velvet lay a sparkling diamond ring. It shimmered delicately in the glow of the lights, reflecting off each perfect facet. I didn’t know what to do. The whole room seemed to have caught its breath, waiting. Jamie reached over and gently took the ring in his fingers.

I couldn’t move; he grasped my left hand where it lay inert on the sofa and held the ring, poised at my fingertip.

Faith giggled, and that broke the spell. I blinked slowly, realizing both our families were watching, waiting for an answer.

“Claire?” Jamie’s eyes smoldered with intention, entrancing. “I’ve loved you since I met ye. This past year has been more than I could ever have dreamt of. I want ye, ye and Faith, forever. Will ye marry me?”

I looked into his eyes, those deep azure eyes that knew me through and through, and still, inexplicably, loved and wanted me. And I knew once more, with utter certainty, that we were meant to be.

“Yes, I’ll marry you, James Fraser,” I said softly.

He smiled as he slid the ring onto my finger. I glanced briefly at the way it fit, perfectly. Like us. I locked my arms around his neck and kissed him. Our whole family burst into congratulations. It didn’t matter that they were all watching; I wanted to get lost in Jamie for a moment, and never let go.

Someone pulled on the skirt of my dress, then clung to my leg. Faith had tottered over to us, crowing happily. Jamie lifted her, and Faith immediately tangled her chubby fingers in his red mane, pulling delightedly. He winced briefly, then nuzzled her tiny nose with his until she laughed. He placed a hand on her own dark ringlets.

“Ye are blood of my blood and bone of my bone. I claim thee as my daughter before all men, from this day forever.”

Jamie nestled Faith more comfortably in the crook of his arm and sealed his promise with a soft kiss on her forehead. A thrill welled up from deep inside me; I had so much I could barely hold it. It was expressed in the small tear that escaped down my cheek, which I quickly wiped away. It was joy, pure joy. Our family surrounded us; Ellen and Mum were hugging everyone in sight, Brian and Dad clapped each other on the back, and Jenny and Ian tried to contain their children’s elation.

I couldn’t keep my eyes off Jamie holding Faith. They were radiant, the twinkling lights behind them suffusing them with warmth.

Both beautiful both strong, and both, thank God, mine.

FIN

~~~

A/N: I was 5 months pregnant when my daughter’s biological father decided he did not want the responsibility. “Lullaby” is based on true events—my life. With some obvious key differences, of course. For example, I was 22 when i got pregnant, but in the very traditional society/culture where I live, being unmarried and pregnant is a big no-no, regardless of your age. I didn’t find my real-life Jamie until my daughter was 5, and we were married 2 years ago (she’s 12 now).

I read a lot of comments about Claire’s relationship with Frank and how many chances she gave him to ‘do right by her’, and all I can say is—I wrote from experience. It’s easier for me to have perspective now, but back then, i couldn’t help hoping that her biological dad would want to get to know his own child. So I kept waiting for him to call, to text, to step up in some way—if not for me, for the baby. Hope is a hard thing to kill.

Now, I know with absolute certainty that we are better off without him and that he was extremely troubled and immature. I made the mistake of placing my love and trust in someone who did not deserve it—but in return, I have my daughter, my greatest challenge and blessing. I’ve always told her, “There’s biological fathers, and fathers of the heart… sometimes they’re the same person, sometimes they’re different people.” We’re lucky to have found the latter.

It was extremely cathartic to put this story into words, and I appreciate everyone who read and commented and supported “Lullaby”. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

#outlander #outlander fanfic #outlander au #jamie and claire #lullaby epilogue #it's been a ride #thank you for taking it with me

312 notes · View notes

ieryana · 5 years

Text

Meetings and Partings

It was a clean, crisp autumn day. The kind of day that, whilst warm, has the smell of winter in the air. The day that makes you want to wear your favourite scarf and gloves, even though it’s still t-shirt weather. The airships buzzed overhead, sending their frozen vapour trails into swirling eddies as they crossed paths, the low hum from the engines mingling with the noises of life all around. Driverless electric cars hummed by on designated roads, and the overhead metro whizzed past, taking hundreds of city workers to their jobs and drones swept the pavements clean on a continuous loop, never needing rest.

Ignoring the scenes around him, a young man tucked his books to his chest and stumbled around masses of other new students, old students, lecturers and general public on a crowded campus. Rhys was on his way to college. First week in a big town, a city almost, and the first day in a university he’d wanted to go to for ages. His parents had tried to dissuade him. “Stay home” they’d said to him, “Work with us on the farm, it’s no life, studying all the time, you want the fresh air” as they’d gestured to the wide open spaces where they farmed cattle, sheep, even chickens. But he was sick of the farm, sick of the early mornings and late nights, the physical labour and strain on his back. He was only 21 for goodness sake and he wanted an education, and by the Gods he was going to get it. Although, whilst he was glad to be here, he was a little homesick for the wide open spaces. The sky here was too close.

The buildings were so tall, and so clean, bright and shiny. They had beautiful intricate patterns built into the glass and steel structures that loomed over the older, brick buildings, squat and ugly in their historic settings. The metro linked a lot of the taller buildings up, walkways between groups of skyscrapers too, saved people descending hundreds of floors, personal airships crowded the sky and even on a bright, clear, sunny day it was hard to get a sense of openness and height like back home.

“OOF” A well built, dark haired young man had run into the back of Rhys, causing him to scatter his papers and books over the floor like a badly written 1990’s teen film. He smiled briefly at the thought of the ancient classic films they were shown in high school before getting on his knees and grabbing his things. The boy who ran into him crouched down to help. “Dude” he offered him a folder “mate, I am so sorry, but like, you were just stood there, what were you doing?” “Oh, sorry, I was just…I don’t know, I guess a bit overwhelmed, I’m new here” “Ahhh, country boy huh? You’ve got that look about you. I’m Baz, I’m in charge of socials here, mixers, parties, informals and formals and so on. You thinking of joining a group?” “I…I don’t know?” Rhys rubbed his nose, and sign of nerves, and grinned shyly at this onslaught of friendliness. “Great!” Baz was like a one man hurricane of enthusiasm, it was hard not to instantly like him, “Look, I’m organising an ice breaker at the student guild hall tonight, why don’t you swing by? Find me, I’ll get you a drink, introduce you to a few people, I feel bad slamming into you like that” “Ok, sounds erm…cool I guess?” Rhys took the leaflet Baz was offering and grinned his shy grin again, “I’ll, see you then?” “Yea! Great dude, ok, cool, see ya then”. Baz waved over his shoulder as he jogged off into the crowd. Rhys hoisted his bag onto his shoulder, grabbed his armful of books even closer and made his way to the first class of the semester.

Later that evening Rhys stood in front of the mirror he’d brought from his room back home and adjusted his shirt.

‘Tucked in, or left out?’ he wondered to himself, untucking and tucking his shirt from his new jeans. Usually wearing bust up Levis on the farm to do the work he felt strange wearing “smart” jeans. One last look in the mirror. “I’ll do” he said to himself out loud. The students guild hall was in an old part of the campus, from back when it was first built. Made of red brick and stone, it was a stout, unsightly building compared to the tall, elegant glass spires that twisted into the sky. It has it’s own appeal though, the stone work was intricate, and inside the marble floors and high, curved ceilings were reminiscent of old money, very old. Rhys could hear the music before he’d even walked through the door. Showing his student ID to the bouncer, he was nodded through and he entered the main room. Almost immediately Baz came bounding over to him like an excited puppy. “Mate! You made it! Awesome! Follow me!” Before Rhys could even say a word Baz grabbed his hand and dragged him to the bar. “What’ll it be pal?” “Oh…erm, just a coke thanks, I don’t drink” “Cool” shrugged Baz and waved at the bartender. “So, what are you studying?” Rhys thanked the barman and took a sip. Slightly too warm, but it was ok, as far as cola went. “Oh, network engineering – I’ve always been good with computers” “Oh cool! Ok, so these are the computer tech nerdy guys”. He grabbed Rhys hand and practically dragged him across the floor to a group of people stood around a table. First glance they looked like your average bunch of guys, but you soon saw things that gave them away. A one guy was wearing a red bowtie, elf ear body mods on another guy, a cute tiny girl with blue and green hair was even wearing a nasa t-shirt, that amused him. He was sad when the agency closed down, but everything was privatised these days, and Space-X was doing some amazing things with space. The Mars colonies was his eventual plan, it’s why he took network engineering – can’t beat a farmer who knows how to code he figured. Especially in a colony. “Guys! This is …OH MY GOD Dude I didn’t even ask your name! What am I like” Baz grinned maniacally and punched the top of Rhys’s arm. “WOAH, dude you are SOLID!” He grabbed Rhys’s arm and squeezed. “Um…” The short girl with blue hair poked Baz “When you’re done being…well, being yourself Baz – who is this?” “Haha, omg ok, so he’s new and he’s one of you guys” Baz swung around “OH! Look! It’s that new poetry guy, I'ma catch you later” and he danced off, leaving the group stood blinking. Rhys was beginning to recognise that expression, like surviving a flash flood, but this was a Baz flood. “So….” The girl waved awkwardly “Hi, I’m Ruby, I’m doing network engineering, year one – again….” “Rhys” he said “Year one, first time, but I took a break after school before coming to uni so I’m older too” “Oh, cool” she smiled slowly. It was a strange smile, slow and creeping and all of a sudden she’d been smiling for a while and you didn’t even notice. She wasn’t what you’d call amazingly gorgeous. She was short, really short, and her nose was all snubby, her cheeks chubby and a dusting of freckles covered her nose, cheeks and forehead. Her eyes were hidden behind thick rimmed glasses, but then she smiled and it was like seeing the sun rise on a grey morning.

“Arwen” they guy with elf ears thrust his hand out and pumped away at Rhys’s “year two advanced computer coding” he spoke in a tight, short voice and whilst his smile was friendly enough, the eyes behind it were cold and glittered with ice. He put his arm around Ruby. “We’re together” he smiled again, coldly. “That’s great” said Rhys “I have a girl back home on the farm, I miss her, you’re lucky to be together” he didn’t, but his hackles were up with this guy, and he wouldn’t give him an inch. The bowtie wearing guy coughed and awkwardly put out his hand. “H-H-H-hi. I’m M-M-M-mmmmmm” “Mike” chorused the group, unthinkingly. “M-mike” he said thankfully. “I’m th-th-the group s-s-s-tudent representative” The last word flung itself out of his mouth with such intensity Rhys was momentarily taken aback, but realised this was the way he could get harder words out. Instantly feeling a warmth towards him, Rhys grabbed his hand and shook it firmly. “Nice to meet you” Rhys said, and meant it.

The night wore on and they chatted, Rhys found himself relaxing happily into a group. They all exchanged palm pilot info and got to know each other. Mike shared his love of intricate networking code, and even Arwen chilled enough to talk about farming techniques he knew from his own community. Ruby was chatty but guarded, she didn’t give much away, but he found her easy enough to talk to.

As he chatted away in his new group of friends, someone caught his eye. He peered through the crowds and saw a tall, thin, elegant looking girl. Her arms were covered in bright, watercolour style tattoos, she had a few facial piercings, and bright purple hair. He blinked and she had vanished into the throng of people. He turned back to his new friends, the image of the girl leaving his mind as he chatted away. Happy he had come to the meet and greet now, he found himself looking forward to his time at university a lot more.

It was a couple of days later and he was walking to his class. The pavement less crowded now everyone had started to settle into the routine. The leaves on the tree’s had begun to turn orange. He smiled, there was no need for it, the synthetic leaves on the cities trees worked year round, but every year they turned orange for the autumn and early winter, and shrank away into imitation twigs for the winter, unlike the real tree’s back on his farm, which really did turn orange and shed their leaves. Humans were a funny bunch, he mused, we’ve made such a mess of things, but we still like things to be as they should be. As he was walking along admiring the trees, Rhys noticed the purple haired girl walking towards him. She stopped to look at her palm pilot and Rhys walked over to her.

“Hi” he said…”I, um, I don’t usually do this but I noticed you at the party the other night and …um….I like your hair?” He ended his sentence in almost a squeak as nerves took over and his voice rose. She smiled, a beaming, wide smile that reached her eyes and lit up her entire person. “Hi! Thank you! Most people think it’s too 'out there’ yanno but it makes me happy” She grabbed a bunch of it and flung it about. “it’s so retro right?” “haha, yea I guess” said Rhys “very twenty-tens!” “I know right! I’m Jen by the way”,she stepped in and gave Rhys a quick hug. She was a bubbly, enthusiastic girl and babbled away at Rhys happily, not minding at all he’d approached her. “so, what do you study?” He realised he’d just been starting at her as she spoke, and shook himself internally. “Oh, networking and that..” he said dismissively. “No way, cool! Me too! I’ve just missed the first couple classes but I’m on it now! In fact, I’m meant to be on my way now, are you going that way? I think I’m lost, I was just checking the campus map when you said hi.” “Yea I am actually” Rhys fell into step beside her and they walked to the class together. He found her enthusiasm strange, she reminded him a lot of Baz, in fact, she looked slightly like him too now he thought about it. “Do you, do you know Baz?” He asked her. “YEA! Yea man, Baz is my brother, you know him too?” “He actually invited me to the party the other night, I’ve not seen him since though, is he ok?” “Yea he’s cool, just busy, student council and organising and stuff. He actually graduated last year, but stayed behind and took a job here for a year.” They carried on chatting throughout the lecture, to the disapproving glances of their peers, and into the lunch hall together, not even thinking to call off their conversation, Rhys found himself opening up to her about his whole life, the farm, his loving but slightly over-bearing parents, his desires to join a colony and so on, and she told him all about her family, about growing up with Baz and how they teased each other, and how her complete lack of direction but enthusiasm for computing lead her to take the course. Most days after that they met up and walked to class together, usually with one of the others on the course as well.

That first semester was full of warmth and happiness. Everyone was great friends and very close. Jen and Ruby would tease the boys, threatening to do their make up if they fell asleep, taking silly pictures on their palm pilots and dressing up in costumes at any opportunity. Mikes stutter had become part of the conversation, the gang would fill in automatically for him, or tease him good naturedly about it and though it would never go, when he was with his friends it was much less noticeable. Arwen had lost his stoic coldness once he realised Ruby really was totally into him and he didn’t need to be so guarded. He confided in Rhys one night that his mother and father had a very jealous relationship and he realised that it wasn’t healthy. They talked deeply that night, and as the sun rose the two men were solid friends. The autumn bled into winter which fell into spring. Long nights around campfires drinking and talking turned into long study session as exams loomed and essays were due. The gang could often be found at each others rooms working together, studying, chatting or just playing the VR together. The work was hard but interesting and Rhys was smart enough to cope with the load.

As time went on though, Rhys began to notice Jen was looking drawn, the circles under her eyes were getting darker and she was slowing down. She wasn’t the bubbly, outgoing girl he met at the beginning of the term, even the bright purple hair that first caught his eye hadn’t been re-dyed in a long while.

One day when they were chilling in his room he sat next to her and took her smooth, manicured hands into his large, rough ones. “Jen,” he looked at her seriously, “are…are you ok?” his shyness that had left long ago returning suddenly at the thought of confronting his friend. “Honestly?” She rubbed her face. “I … I don’t think I am.” Her chin wobbled and she took a huge breath in before fiddling with her fingers and avoiding his eye “I know like, that you and Ruby and the others find it easy and I really am trying and I don’t wanna let you down but….like…. I’m struggling with the work and it’s really making me kinda ill. I’m so stressed about not getting a good mark that I can’t sleep, or eat, and of course then I’m tired all the time and I can’t concentrate and it makes it worse. I don’t know what to do” Rhys pulled her into his shoulder and stroked her faded hair.

“Oh Jen you daft girl, why didn’t you say anything, you know we’d help” “I know, but, I don’t want help, I want to be able to do it, but honestly, I really don’t feel very well at all.”

They sat on his sofa and talked, a very serious, very long talk. He hadn’t realised just how ill his friend was. Jen was really struggling with the work, and he could see the mental strain was affecting her physically. By the end of the night they’d talked together about her leaving. He didn’t want her to go, she was his best friend on campus, and his confident in most things, and he realised just how much he really cared for her. But if it was making her poorly, it wasn’t right that she carry on struggling. They dm’d the others and they all came round, palm pilots pinging almost immediately in response and by the end of the night they had, as a group, figured out the best route. Two days later Rhys leaned out of his dormitory window and waved goodbye to her, the promises to talk every single day still on his lips and the smell of her freshly dyed hair in his nose as they’d clung tight. He watched her fathers van full of her things leave the campus and head out onto the road, the electric engine humming quietly as she went out of sight. He cried then. He sat down on his bed, sank his head into his hands and sobbed like he hadn’t since he was a young boy. The last time he cried like this he’d lost his childhood dog to old age. He hadn’t realised just how much he really did care for Jen. The way her smile lit up her face, the infectious bubblyness of her personality, the silly ideas she had and the way she was always there for him. That time he’d caught the most awful cold and she’d brought him chicken soup and teased him about his “man flu”. All of this hit him deep in his stomach. He knew she wasn’t far away, but she’d gone, and it hurt. He cried himself to sleep that night.

The semester spun along, as spring turned into summer they all finished their exams and said goodbye for the summer holidays. Promises to meet up, dm’s from Jen and arrangements were made, and Rhys went home to the farm. He’d missed his parents, and they were thrilled to have him back. The summer passed by in a whirlwind of family gatherings, barbecues and even his cousins wedding. He invited Jen along as his partner and they had the best time, laughing and drinking. Before she left they drove up to meet Ruby and Arwen, and spent a weekend at a lake house. The artificially heated waters filled with screams as the young adults splashed each other and messed about whilst the airships whizzed by in the hot summer sky over head.

Summer soon left and with it Rhys left the farm, this time to a shared house near the college with Ruby, Mike, Arwen and another girl Tina, who was studying Law. Baz had left the university now, moved onto a role in a large company that sent him all over the world. They had the occasional message, or vlog from him in some random country where he’d set up a huge data system, or met some interesting locals he wanted to share.

The year passed slowly, the laughter was much less as the work got harder and everyone more serious. Ruby and Arwen argued hard, and made up even harder, their bedroom door often banged on and a yell to “keep it down” from the other housemates. No one minded really, they all were still as close as could be, and it was a way to blow off some steam. Jen messaged now and then to say she’d make the trip up, but days, weeks and eventually months passed with no visit. She’d taken a role in her fathers company and was learning how to run the business, presumably to take over from him eventually they all said, and she was busy. Exams rolled around again, and the messages slowed to a monthly catch up, and eventually trickled to a stop. Jen would drop him a line now and then, full of news about her life, the bubbly Jen he knew, but on the other side of the country now. The conversations full, but brief. He’d reply with just as much news, but over time, eventually she stopped texting and he stopped replying. Not on purpose, but work, university and life just took over, and Jen, and Baz to an extent, became a distant, fond memory for all of them, a like of a post on Instafan, or a “lol” comment on MyBook and that was it.

University ended and Rhys moved back home. Applications to jobs sent out he took on some freelance work which sent him around the area and eventually around the country. Word got about that he was quick, capable and an honest worker, and he soon found himself charging more and more, and busier and busier. He reached out to Ruby and they went into partnership together, within months they had set up a company and employed more staff. He even managed to do some work for his childhood dream company Space-X before the Mars projects collapsed in a major disaster. Two years after he had left university he was in his office replying to emails and working on a new data centre design when ruby burst into his office and thrust her palmpilot at him. “What?” he mouthed at her. She just grinned and closed the door. “Hello?” he asked, wondering what had got Ruby so excited. “Rhys?” “Jen?” he whispered “Is that really you?” “It IS! OMG RHYS” She squealed and he held the phone away from his ear a second, grinning like a schoolboy. He could hear her manic fast babbling “and so I saw your picture in the Business news section on the pilot when I was catching up and I recognised you like right away and then I saw your company name and so I rang but your line was busy so I tried again and got hold of Ruby and omg doesn’t she sound great are her and Arwen doing ok? I saw on MyBook that they had gone to Bali for the summer don’t they look sweet I can’t believe he got rid of his ears though but I guess we’re all serious now ….” She took a breath. “So, anyway, I’m in your area on business and wondered if you’d like to grab lunch?”

“Um…yea, sure..when?” “Oh, like now?” Rhys burst out laughing, she hadn’t changed a bit. “You know what, yea, why not, I'd like that, There’s a great little fusion place round the corner from the office, do you know the address? I’ll buzz it to your pilot now.” “Yey I got it! Ok, see you in 20 mins?” she hung up before he could reply.

Suddenly his heart raced, he hadn’t seen her in what? Two, nearly three years? Not since the summer of his cousins barbecue? Had it really been that long? He stood in front of the mirror in his office. The same mirror that had followed him all that time ago from his little farm house bedroom, into the city and now into his high rise office. He smoothed his hair down. Money was kind to people and he dressed well, and looked good. But he felt like that out of place country hick thrown into a city party again. He threw on a jacket and stuck his head into Ruby’s office. “So… I’m going to meet Jen for lunch” he said, with a bemused look on his face. “Oh my god” she giggled, “That’s so Jen, so random! You going to Chiaros?” “Yea, love me a bit of fusion”. “You sure do! Ok, have a great time.” “I will” He left the office, shook his head to the offer of a car from his doorman and walked around the block. As he entered the restaurant the owner bustled over. “Mr Rhys sir hello! Table for one sir as usual sir?” “No, actually Chi, I’m meeting an old friend. Two please, and quiet?” “Quiet?” a voice over his shoulder made him jump “since when were we ever quiet?” He turned around to see her stood there, bright purple hair shining as the sun gleamed through the windows and hit it just right, like something from a cheesy movie. She was dressed smartly in a business suit, her facial piercings gone apart from one tiny gem in her cupids bow just above her lip. She grabbed hold of him and squeezed him so tightly he made a slight “urk” noise. “Eep sorry!” she grinned at Chiaro and he grinned back, leading them to a booth and taking drinks orders.

0 notes